#I feel sick as it is and would take lestat in a cat fight right now easily

[avaelangel]

Claudia was the best out of all of them.

The brilliant vampire, the best companion, the most devoted lover. Not demented AND devoted. Just devoted, because she wanted to be loved as she was, but she also wanted to love. She didn't need admiration, she didn't try to shape Madeleine into anything, she didn't want only one way of life, she wanted life itself. And life wanted her, even for a small moment in time.

I know, all of those vampires are alluring and interesting. I love Lestat, he's a driving force for me in reading books, but oh my god. It makes me want to barf because of how easily him and Louis let Claudia down. Yeah, I know. The youngest son that did everything for his family to survive and god only crumbs of affection from his mother. The oldest son that took responsibility for his family amongst a bunch of racist bastards that would through him under the bus without a thought. But they never asked what it was like for Claudia before. Never really told her. Only read her diaries to find out.

I don't want to dig into Louis, because I have too many thoughts. Most of all, Claudia was totally right about him. Completely. Choose another one over her. Let her be abused by Armand. Turned Madeleine, but so what? Gave her a minute of happiness in exchange for years of torture and uncertainty. Reluctant support. I don't hate Louis. But if he had listened to Claudia just one time. Or drove her away from Paris forever. Done anything, really.

She still loved him. Still asked him for help. Still turned to him for reassurance. Probably, didn't believe him in the end, because she was better than all of them.

And Madeleine clutching her dress when Louis was being dragged away? Their little coven was solidified way before Madeleine was turned. The society refused to treat them well as they were, refused to ask honest questions and listen to the answers. Human or vampire. I often think that The Dark Gift blurs the prejudices or softens preferences in terms of lovers. But it also emplifies everything. Santiago was right, they are all monsters. Memory is a monster. Love is one too.

I adore this version of Claudia and I am positively biased towards her. I know she was always meant to die. Any version of her was meant to die. But ohmygods it doesn't make it hurt any less.

There's no good vampires. But she was the best out of the entirety of Paris. She deserved a life with Madeleine, someone who chose her first.

Fuck these vampires.