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toomanythoughts2 · 2 months ago

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Dethklok Agere HCs: Nathan Edition

☠️🎤🍕🦞🫖🍷🍺🍹🥂🐊🐋🏰🎢🏍️👓🧨🏈📢📰💭❤️‍🩹🤘

Here we are! Finishing strong with the frontman himself, Nathan ☠️! I definitely had to sit with myself longer about my thoughts and feelings toward him. I think he was the biggest challenge yet, but I believe I did him justice. Anyway, here's Nathan ☠️!

Everything is below the Keep Reading tab.

(Nathan. You have been through so much in such a short amount of time.)

☠️ To me, Nathan is an example of someone who fully recognizes regression, is knowledgeable (to an extant) on regression, and has really no prior desire or experience with regression, but wants to give it a go. Nathan's regression is most similar to Skwisgaar, where he's "testing it out" so to speak. With his PTSD he was diagnosed in AOTD and possible CPTSD from his classroom incident, Nathan wants to try see how it helps him cope.

☠️ I think Nathan regresses to around the same ages as Skwisgaar, 5 to 8. I think he tries to embody the age we see him as in "Dethgov" during the classroom incident. Try being the operative word because he was not a "normal" 5 to 8 year old, so his understanding of that age is skewed. However, how he portrays his age isn't as potent as say Toki. Him, Skwisgaar, and Murderface stay within a typical young boy playing field. Whereas Toki is very toddler-ish, sometimes borderline baby if it gets really bad. Pickles is the only preteen, sometimes leaning into young boy.

☠️ I won't lie, I originally did not see Nathan as a regressor at all. However, knowing that regression can be used as a tool, I like to think that Nathan post-AOTD is more open to all possible coping mechanisms for his PTSD. He doesn't want to go back to the person he was before DSR or after DSR. He wants to be the person after AOTD. An interview revealed that the band regularly uses Dr. Twinkletits and he has no shame going to see him. So after AOTD, I think he would broaden his horizons to consider regression as a possible tool to cope.

☠️ Following the post order, Nathan would be the last one to regress in the band. I think once he told the band, it would be a mix response of, "We were waiting for you to finish it out." and "Oh, you actually want to try this out." It's not bad responses, just a little shocked. I think the only one who isn't shocked would be Pickles, since he spends the most time with Nathan and knows more about him than anyone else.

☠️ I think Nathan would have the hardest time trying to drop. He's too focused on the fact that he is a grown man trying to do "kid things."

☠️ The band helps him the best way they can. They encourage him to "let go" and let himself be in the moment. Toki brings him coloring books and will color with him to try and get him to drop. Murderface brings out his Hot Wheels and tracks and races with him in the living room. Skwisgaar offers to play with him outside or take walks around Mordhaus. Pickles tries to appear and act more "motherly" in the hope that by being a parental figure in the moment, it will make Nathan feel comfortable dropping.

☠️ There is a shyness to Nathan's regression. In both trying and wanting to regress and his actual regression. Meaning he's shy trying to regress and his regresses mind is that of a shy little boy.

☠️ Nathan feels almost shameful for wanting to regress, since he knows the others regress, but especially WHY they regress. Nathan, in respect to everyone else in the band, had the best and most normal upbringing. It's down right healthy in some aspects. Nathan is well aware of the shit his bandmates have gone through; child abuse, sexual child abuse, neglect, homelessness, poverty, addiction, toxic home lives, religious abuse. He feels like he has no real excuse to regress or that the reasons he does have aren't as severe. (Trauma Olympics) He feels like by regressing, he's taking away time his bandmates could have regressed, or forcing himself into the spotlight. The band and Dr. Twinkletits have all encouraged Nathan to regress and have made it clear, over and over again, that yes, you have every reason and right to regress. Your trauma is important. Even if you didn't have trauma, you can still regress. Nathan is still working on getting over that hurdle.

☠️ Because he is apprehensive to regress, he usually asks the others if it's ok to regress. He's trying to plan it out like on a block schedule. The others always do and remind him that, if he needs to regress, he can regress.

☠️ He has mixed results with regressing by himself. On one hand, it's easier for him to drop because he's alone and doesn't feel the "pressure" of "being good at regressing" or that he's not bothering the others. But on the other hand, he can't stay regressed for long because he gets in his own head. While he does not mock the others for regressing, a part of him mocks himself. He can't help but fear the idea of someone other than the band seeing him like this and going to the public. He warps into these realities where the press have photos of him regressing and he's having to read all of the awful things people are saying about him, or reading chat forums. It gets him upset and angry and he stops. He ends up just being afraid of doing it for a while.

☠️ Charles personally encourages Nathan to explore all possibilities to help him cope. He's well aware of the stress that AOTD and DSR caused him. He offers his office for Nathan to regress if he feels like he can't do it in front of the band.

☠️ Speaking of that, Nathan does sometimes feel embarrassed when he regresses with the band. He can't help it and often feels upset that he can't just let himself regress like everyone else. He knows they won't make him feel bad, but it's an internal hurdle he has to get through.

☠️ Through trial and error, the band does realize that Nathan is feeling understimulated and that's one of the reasons he can't stay regressed. (Remember in "Renovationklok" when he turns on the music over the construction noises and relaxes? Like that.) They've tried different methods to combat that like loud music and interactive stations with his interests, like a children's museum. They're still working out the best way to do it.

☠️ Nathan has an odd hang up on regressing because he is so large (Football Player physique). Mentally trying to envision himself smaller is hard when he can see and feel how big he is. Especially in his shoulders.

☠️ When Nathan does succeed at regressing, he is almost always non-verbal. The band has to use Communication Cards to ask him what he wants. Charles was able to talk with Rose about Nathan's childhood and what she used before he turned 5. His parents do not know he regresses/trying to regress and probably never will.

☠️ Though he goes non-verbal, he keeps his stoic face. He doesn't express a lot of outward emotion, but that doesn't mean he is unhappy or sad. He can be very happy while remaining stony faced. The band has a very time trying to figure out his emotions and if he's reacting well or poorly to what they themselves are doing or what he is doing. Nathan doesn't realize he's not outwardly showing his emotions and gets confused why the bands always asks him if he likes what they did for him or if he's ok. He's not upset by it though, he likes the level of attention.

☠️ Pickles calls him, "Big Boy", "Big Guy", and "Big Baby" to help him regress. He enunciates it in a way to reflect an older adult/sibling talking to a child/younger sibling. He's trying to appear as that person who would be taking care of Nathan if anything went wrong. He also calls him, "Bubby".

☠️ Toki and Murderface will infodump on Nathan when he's small. Toki will go into long and complex details of My Little Pony while Nathan sits on Toki's bed being non-verbal. The closed-in space with all of the objects around him and Toki's high-speed talking stimulate him enough to stay small. Watching an episode is a little harder but if they wear headphones, he can get through 1 or 2 just fine. Murderface will drag him to his room and talk about wars. Nathan really likes these types of infodumps because Murderface has a very stimulating room that peaks his interests a lot. Murderface also has no filter when he infodumps, so Nathan is always very intrigued when he speaks. Murderface is not allowed to show graphic images or movies to anyone who is regressed, but he's able to sneak in a few documentaries that he knows Nathan would like. Nathan has an easier time staying regressed when Murderface infodumps. He has on one very special occasion laid down and rested his head on Murderface's shoulder while watching a documentary.

☠️ Skwisgaar and Nathan talk a lot about finding ways to regress and stay regressed. Skwisgaar helps him identify what exactly he wants out of his regression. Is he trying to process something traumatic? Is he trying to cope with stress? Is he just wanting to relive childhood? Nathan has mixed answers. He doesn't want to relive his childhood (that he's aware of). For the most part, it was fine, other than that one incident. He wants to process his trauma and cope with stress, but he doesn't have a goal of what he wants the regression to actually do. He's not sure how regressing is going to get him to his goal.

☠️ Nathan has internal cringe about his regressing. He has no problem with his bandmate regressing but something about him doing it makes me want to crawl up a wall. Especially when he catches himself really letting himself regress. It's one of his worst enemies. The band works very very hard to remind him and encourage his regression as much as possible.

☠️ Nathan has this dilemma of being "caught" while regressing and feeling really bad for it. The first time it happened, Nathan was in the kitchen using one of Toki's coloring books that he left there. Pickles had walked in and, not realizing he was regressing, slapped him on the back and asked him how he was. Nathan got scared then very shameful because he just got "caught" regressing without first asking the others. Pickles realizes what happened and tries to keep him down but Nathan is too distraught and leaves. This usually ends with him crying to himself because of all the mixed feelings of shame, cringe, PTSD, and anger. Pickles, and the band, are more vigilante about checking first before assuming.

☠️ The band all have their ways keeping Nathan down.

☠️ Pickles reinforces a parental figure around him. Lots of attention and physical contact. Lots of non-direct ways to separate themselves into roles (Authority Figure/Child) Pickles tries to be gentle and very patient with Nathan. He almost treats him like how he treats Toki, with a lot of attention. He rubs Nathan's shoulders or back, or pets back his hair. Forehead kisses and pet names. Pickles is trying to keep him down by treating him as the age Nathan wants to be. Pickles does a lot of talking as well, lots of questions. ("Do you want a snack? How about some goldfish? Do you want apple juice? I can put in a bendy straw. Do you want me to put your hair up and out of your face?") But he praises a lot. ("That picture looks so good. Look how fast your car went, good job. You ate all your food, I'm so proud of you. When did you get so smart?")

☠️ Skwisgaar works with Nathan to find his goals and how to reach those goals through regression. Skwisgaar isn't about keeping or putting Nathan down, but to find the whys first, then find times where regressing would help achieve those goals. For example, if Nathan's goal is to cope with his PTSD, then Skwisgaar wants Nathan to recognize the triggers of his PTSD and utilize regression to calm him down. That would be like having a flashback or getting triggered by something, and if Nathan is aware-enough to know that then he should regress to alleviate his oncoming symptoms. (Just to note: I don't think Nathan's PTSD symptoms includes regression, like Toki. Nathan has to implement it on his own.)

☠️ Toki utilizes some of his own regression supplies with Nathan. Toki and Nathan go through some of Toki's things, like pacifiers, chewies, toys, stuffed animals, clothes, sippy cups, ect. They go through things that Nathan could keep on him or in his room to use to get himself to drop when he wants to. Nathan picks out the chewies. He likes the necklaces and gets one in the shape of an alligator. It's green and black and it very durable for Nathan's sharp canines. Toki also gives him a stuffed animal from his collection, a panda bear named Luna. She stays in Nathan's room under his pillow because he's embarrassed if someone sees him with it, he'll get joked.

☠️ Murderface becomes Nathan's friend, literally. Murderface will regress to join Nathan to make him less embarrassed and shy, and to also play with. They share a lot of similar interests, like enjoying gory history and fast cars. Their personalities match because Murderface is an unfiltered talker when he's regressed while Nathan is a non-verbal regressor. Murderface also knows what he wants to do when he's regressed, while Nathan feels a little awkward about what to do, which is completely normal. Murderface is making regression more enjoyable by being a companion and easing the stress of decision making. This usually ends in Murderface either getting in trouble (They're someplace they shouldn't), Murderface getting hurt (He's ok, he's just clumsy) or, a nap because they're both so tired after playing.

☠️ Skwisgaar likes brushing Nathan's hair when he's small and braid it. Toki wants to do it too but if he's also regressed, it just becomes a lot of tugging and a rats nest. Nathan usually isn't too mad, just a little sore. Pickles has to come in and rescue poor Nathan's head if he sees Skwisgaar struggling to move Toki back from Nathan's hair with a brush. Murderface just thinks it's funny.

☠️ Pickles has Jean-Pierre make some of Nathan's childhood favorite meals, which includes your usual all American favorites like hot dogs and hamburgers, but also includes his mother's casseroles and his father's BBQ. The smell helps him relax enough to regress a little.

☠️ Toki initiates something called "Cuddle Dropping" where instead of Toki cuddling up with Nathan, Nathan has to cuddle up with Toki. The reversal of roles is meant to ease him into dropping. The others will join in as they see fit.

☠️ It takes a long time for Nathan to feel comfortable just regressing by himself and longer to really get comfortable around the band.

☠️ Much like Murderface, he enjoys the spookier, creepier, gorey things in life. He does not shy away from a lot of things that others find gross or too much. Because of that, Nathan will often want to occupy his time doing or watching those kinds of things. For instance, he likes to put pretzels in water and watch them crumble (a safer alternative to operation videos they normally watch). He also likes to play in the dirt and catch bugs.

☠️ He is not afraid to touch any animal, dead or alive. If he goes outside, he does have to be supervised that he's not touching any dead animals or trying to catch a live one. Skwisgaar has had to run after him after he caught a snake and wanted to take it home as a pet.

☠️ Nathan does not have tantrums, similar to Skwisgaar. The closest he will get to a tantrum is when he and the others know he should regress and he's refusing to do it, and gets pouty.

☠️ Nathan will regress faster if he watches a Pixar movie. The band utilizes movie night to try and regress him or regress together with Charles in charge. Nathan loves Wall-E, Cars, and Finding Nemo but he likes all Pixar movies. They will have Disney Short nights where they go down the list and watch the shorts. Kit Bull makes Nathan cry so they have to be careful if he's trying to regress as to not further upset him.

☠️ Nathan is experimenting if regressing will help him from burnout. The idea is that he is thinking too hard on his songs, so he needs to take a step back. Regressing would help him see the world differently again, when things were simplier.

☠️ Nathan does not want a caregiver but he knows deep down that having a caregiver makes him feel better. He likes the idea of giving control over to someone else for some decisions. He has bad decision fatigue. Pickles and Charles are the best fit to be his caregiver. Pickles knows him enough to know what he wants, so he never really has to make a decision with him. Charles is good at limited decisions ("Do you want apple juice, orange juice, or water?")

☠️ Nathan has found great joy in stickers. He loves the act of peeling stickers and putting them on something. He has decorated multiple water bottles, notebooks, instruments, furniture pieces, ect. Even band members, klokateers, and Charles are not safe from his stickering.

☠️ Nathan will watch Disneyland and Disneyworld videos. He'll watch pin trading videos, around the world videos, merch hauls, tips and tricks, trivia, hotel and motel reviews, the different events reviews, and so many vlogs. Something about the vibe calms him down and reminds him of home. He'll even point out in the video if he remembers it firsthand or has a funny story to tell. He'll either do this alone in his room or cuddled up with someone.

☠️ Nathan takes a lot of naps when he's regressing because it makes him so calm. This results in a lot of blankets and pillows around Mordhaus for when the mood strikes. Skwisgaar also takes advantages of he nap spots and falls asleep in these places.

☠️ Nathan does cry easier when he's regressed. Without that extra layer of when he's big, he feels things deeper. He's able to really process his emotions now, past and present, and sometimes that ends in him having a little cry.

☠️ The band has a learning curve of what regressed Nathan enjoys doing. Murderface can usually make Nathan have fun doing stuff that he does, because they have similar interests. However, what Nathan likes to do as a child is hit or miss. Nathan likes his music, he likes his movies, he likes his youtube, and his likes his snacks. Sometimes the band will invite him to do something and he will be disinterested in it while other times, he's all about something that isn't an activity or game. He might not want to play with a bunch of toys that boys in his age range play but he likes to watch the fish in the fish tank or do solitude type activates. The band isn't sure if this is because he's truly disinterested in those things or if this is because Nathan didn't feel comfortable doing those things as an actual child, and it's bleeding into his regression. When they ask him when he's big, he doesn't have an answer. He's not sure himself and feels bad that he might be "regressing" wrong. The band tells him he isn't regressing wrong, they just want to do right by him.

☠️ Nathan does not have nicknames for anyone when he's regressed. Non-verbal or not, he is not comfortable giving anyone a nickname while regressed.

☠️ Weighted blankets is where it's at. He loves a solid weighted blanket and will lay under it for hours being little.

☠️ Nathan will purposefully not regress during times where he feels like it would inconvenience people, like during a meal. He feels like it would be annoying and the band will start to really dislike him if he did that.

☠️ Nathan has regressed in the hot tub on accident. He didn't even know he did it until he felt Pickles' hands on his forehead. Toki had brought in a few bath toys into the hot tub and was playing with them. A boat had floated to Nathan and without thinking, he bobbed it up and down in the water, until he was fully playing boats and submarines with Toki.

☠️ The most the band will get out of Nathan verbally is if they talk to him about different bands and musicians. Skwisgaar has a knack for both knowing bands Nathan refers to while also introducing Nathan to new bands he doesn't know about. They will sit in silence and listen to bands together then talk about it afterwards.

☠️ Nathan is a chip fiend no matter the mindset. He is getting a bowl of Cool Ranch Doritos and he's dogging them down like he's never eaten a day in his life. The only difference is that someone will wipe his hands clean after he's done because he might be too far gone to clean them himself. The band doesn't mind this. It's a good sign that Nathan is feeling comfortable in his regression.

☠️ While Nathan no longer hears the Whale in his dreams anymore, he does get nightmares of the Whale and the world if he never finished the song. He has to lay down and sleep in Pickles room to regress and cry it out. It's a very stressful time for him.

☠️ Nathan likes to play videos games from his youth when he's regressed. So he plays a lot of Nintendo 64 games like Mario, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Castlevania, Doom 64, a handful of Disney copyright games. He loves playing Conker's Bad Fur Day because it makes him laugh. He sets it up in the living room and the band will watch him play it.

☠️ Regressing helps Nathan physically loosen his muscles. He's very tight all around but he's realized that when he regressed, his body physically loosens in his shoulders, his back, his jaw, and his neck. He also does not get as many headaches or migraines when he's regressed.

☠️ Nathan encounters doubts about regressing "the correct way" because as a kid, he was told that he wasn't playing/being a kid "the correct way". Dr. Twinkletits has multiple sessions with him to dissuade this notion that there is a correct way. What Nathan is doing during his regression is valid, even if it doesn't perfectly match up with the others. No one regression path is the same. As long as he is happy and reaching the intended reasoning for regressing, then he's regressing "correctly." This furthers into a much deeper conversation about his actual childhood and the way he was treated as a child for being different. (I personally see Nathan as Autistic, so I feel that this HC overall covers that pathway.)

☠️ I don't see Nathan using kid clothes to regress, but I think he would get into more nostalgic clothes to regress, like old bands tees.

☠️ He loves getting his nails painted and loves painting the bands nails. He is very focused when he does these nails so don't bother him and don't try to talk to him. He always gives himself traditional black nails while he takes requests what the band wants. Toki wants a rainbow, Pickles wants green ("Like a pickle! Get it?"), Skwisgaar wants blue, and Murderface always wants something different but way out of Nathan's capabilities ("I want a matchbox car on my thumbs, two wheels on my middle fingers, and fire on my pinkies.") They come out not bad.

☠️ Toki introduces him to baths and regressing. Nathan takes to it like nothing else. He loves being in the bath, he loves the toys, he loves the bubbles. It's the perfect place for him to regress. The biggest issue is getting him out of the tub.

☠️ Nathan does a lot of staring. It's not to scare anyone, he just likes looking at what everyone is doing. Charles lets him sit in the office with him and watch him work. Something about the atmosphere is perfect for observing.

☠️ Growing up in Florida meant that Nathan spent a lot of time in the pool growing up. He likes to just sit in the water or float around on top. Murderface will construct pool games for him and Toki and Skwisgaar will compete with him. Pickles is usually on a float to the side with a drink, which gets tipped over sometime during the day.

☠️ Sometimes regressing doesn't help the PTSD and Nathan winds up feeling small and scared. He doesn't get fighty like how everyone thought. He shuts down, cries, and panics. There's an overwhelming sense of responsibility and expectation that won't leave him alone during those times, along with the flashbacks. The band does their best to console him. It's a lot of rocking, affirmation, music, distractions, cuddles, and naps. It's a tiring job.

☠️ Nathan wants to chew on the wood table. Don't let him chew on the wood table.

☠️ When Nathan gets comfortable regressing, his favorite activity turns out to be cuddling and watching TV. It reminds him of cuddling with his mom or dad when he was a boy and he likes the feeling of someone rubbing his back and listening to their heartbeat. It makes him feel safe.

☠️🎤🍕🦞🫖🍷🍺🍹🥂🐊🐋🏰🎢🏍️👓🧨🏈📢📰💭❤️‍🩹🤘

And that's it! Nathan is my last one! I hope you enjoyed them all! And if you have any of your own HCs I would love to hear about them :)

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