#I feel like this is going to happen a LOT more
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i was thinking about this since i posted earlier about us needing to address the trend of gen z men being pulled into alt-right pipelines might have contributed to the outcome of this election.
i think contrapoints is really smart, and from what iâve seen, has been way more effective at getting people out of harmful ideological pipelines than iâve seen from the majority of leftists online who instead berate and drive a greater wedge of antipathy (though i understand why! and it can be very hard to have empathy for the people who see you as a threat). that antipathy makes the right more radicalized because they donât feel like they can talk about anything without the âcrazy leftiesâ who wonât even engage with them. where did these issues come from?
what iâve noticed, and iâm even guilty of this, is that people donât interact with groups of people whom they refuse talk to, which makes realities more hypothetical in the minds of their opponent since they arenât open to seeing reality from their perspective. this is true on both sides. from what iâve observed, it seems to originate from hypothetical perception of the opponent, but when people treat those perceptions as though they are real, it becomes real with their actions, which then makes the antipathy justified to someone. again, on both sides.
what makes contrapoints so successful at breaking this down is that is that she creates these socratic dialogue skits that represent real people and ideologies, has a sense of humor, isnât afraid to discuss these things, reframes how we see these things by introducing nuance to both sides. sheâs a leftist, but she also knows how to engage without ripening division, of meeting someone halfway and being completely humble about it. she is able to soften extremes.
she is able to get into the mind of people who arenât aligned with her views, understand the nuance and rationales from a realistic perspective, breaking down a big block of âthis is all badâ into âok, some of this makes senseâŠâ, what this does is create a space for self-reflection that doesnât feel ham-fisted (which could otherwise cause people to double down on their beliefs instead of opening up to other perspectives outside of their bubble). while also being entertaining and well-produced on top of it.
youtube
what she is doing is creating these scenarios and socratic discussions that SHOULD be happening in real life but arenât in this polarized social climate.
i graduated from new college of florida this spring, the small liberal arts college that was in headlines across the country for ron desantisâs board of trustees hostile takeover and exodus of professors.
new students and student athletes from conservative walks of life were being basically incentivized to go there who were taught to fear the lgbt boogeyman growing up in their conservative communities. but once they actually interacted with lgbt students there, many of them they felt like they understood them, and they werenât as bad as they were told they would be. new college of florida was also famous for getting derek black (child of the man who created stormfront, and godchild of the kkk grand wizard david duke) out of white nationalism. their peers at NCF called them out but also interacted with them, invited them to dinner. black wrote a book about it.
now of course some people are too far gone and you shouldnât waste your time with them, like derekâs family for example. but i also think a lot of people who voted for trump are not informed, are operating off of emotion and knee-jerk mentality because itâs easier than thinking, and they are not seeing the discussions that need to be had to change their mind because fuckinâŠnobody is doing them.
and we feel this visceral disgust to people of the opposing party because of its associations. i just want to know how it happened and how we got to be like this. i think social media is partly to blame and also the algorithms that take people down dangerous pipelines and sharpen them, insulate them.
i myself understand the vitriol you might have for anyone that voted for trump. i feel so disappointed that half the people of this country voted against our collective benefit. and iâve seen a lot of sentiment from the left today saying âevery single person who voted for trump is dead to me. i disowned youâ.
you can see the reality of trumpâs demagoguery, and itâs so obvious, but what i want to know is: what do they see? why did they vote for him? emotion and entertainment travel faster and have more reach than reason. and itâs thatâs why i think contrapointsâs videos are exemplary at tackling this ideological divide. this is something iâve been thinking about for months before today and i thought now was a better time than ever to give my two cents on it.
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100% have been perusing your climate change masterpost, and understand you're probably swamped so feel free to delete of course. But if you can find the time, is there any kind of hope to give in fighting climate change now? Can we save ourselves against the oncoming steamroll?
You hang in there too. Thanks for finding the hope among everything else. It feels so bad rn but I have to believe it can change. I hope it can.
Yeah actually I do think there is hope.
Things are going to get rough. Things are going to get worse before they get better, both for the climate and for people living in the US (and for people living in lots and lots of other countries that will be affected by the US election results/the ways the climate will worsen as aa result).
I haven't posted about this yet because I didn't want it to come to this, but now that it has, here's something that people have been quietly saying/research has been showing for months:
-via Reuters, November 6, 2024
Renewables, especially solar, are just too powerful to be stopped. They just too much cheaper and too much better, and that's only going to become more true, not less.
Also, I think (and hope) it's actually inevitable that at some point, we'll get to net negative carbon emissions. I think it's like solar: the technology, cost, and planet all make it feel like an inevitable technological trajectory, the same way solar tech is on an exponential trajectory. (IF WE WORK FOR IT, OBVIOUSLY, but also so, so many people ARE working for it, have dedicated their lives to working for it)
I sure fucking hope that's the case, anyway.
(You can find my masterpost on going net negative on what that actually means here)
It is gonna happen more slowly and shittily than I hoped, but I do think it's going to happen.
And if we can get to net negative emissions in time to save ourselves (which I think we will, the rates of advancement in many of these areas are very impressive), then we'll be able to slowly start to undo and heal lot of the damage.
#chouetteffraie#ask#this is NOT advocating for carbon removal as either a sole strategy or a way to avoid overhauling the way the world works#but like. idk man. think about where technology was in 1924 vs. now#in 1974 vs. now#your smartphone is vastly more powerful than the computers that took us into space#which took up entire massive facilities and still needed to be checked by human calculators#probably#tags edited bc I have been informed that that one law of computing is not a thing#rip#progress still has been exponential though and I stand by what I said
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âčââĄâ⥠oh, nothing! just bitchy!kook!reader walking around the house in nothing but rafeâs favorite heels after he decides talking on the phone with his friends is more important than paying attention to his girl..
warnings: bratty behavior, rafe being sexually frustrated lol, groping, heavy teasing, suggestive ending
a/n: just a little something on the shorter side because these 2k+ wc fics have done their number on me lol
you rolled your eyes, an exasperated sigh leaving your lips as rafeâs laughter echoed from upstairs. he has been on a three way call with kelce and topper for going on an hour now, and while you usually didnât care, he had you waiting for him downstairs in full glam and an empty tummy. this is what you get when you try to play nice and put your catty attitude to the side for one night; a negligent boyfriend who had no care for anything else in the world except for what him and his idiot friends were rambling on about. your impatience is what lead you to be in the position you were in right now; naked and ignoring rafe as he followed you around the house, begging you to give him the slightest amount of attention.
âwe can go get dinner now, okay?! i was just listening to topper vent about ruthie, i swear i wasnât ignoring you!â he refrained from stopping you in your tracks, his cock stirring in his pants when he watched the way your hips swayed with every step. âoh, really?â you spun around, your boyfriendâs eyes falling down to your bare chest, ânot responding to me when i called you downstairs like a thousand times wasnât you ignoring me?â rafe opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when you walked away from him again. this time he watched you round the corner of the hallway, making your way into the kitchen before cursing under his breath.
you could tell you were driving rafe insane by the way he was gripping the kitchen island, his knuckles white with tension. âso, what? youâre just going to walk around like that?â he asked, his eyes burning into your skin. you shrugged, bending over the counter with a look in your eyes that made him want to wrap a fist in your hair and take you right there. âtoo bad you were busy with your friends earlier.. i actually wanted to be the sweet girlfriend tonight and give you dessert after dinner. oh well..â you pouted, walking past him as you flipped your hair over your shoulder. why were you like this? toxic, bitchy, mean, but still irresistible, sexy, and perfect?
âit wonât happen again, i promise.â rafe was hypnotized as he watched you walk into the living room, your heels clicking against the floor as your boyfriend pleaded with you to let him take you upstairs. âmaybe the neighbors would appreciate the view a lot more than you doââ you barely touched the curtains before your boyfriend snatched you away from the large window. âthatâs enough.â he said through gritted teeth, his gruff voice just right below your ear. suppressing the butterflies from fluttering in your tummy, you let out a breath you didnât know you were holding. âthat poor excuse of an apology isnât gonna get you anywhere.â rafe chuckled, his hands feeling like fire on your hips.
âlet me show you how sorry i am..â he turned you around, his cock aching as he could now feel your tits pressing against him through his shirt. he was making it really hard for you to keep up your act. âacting like a little brat, i know exactly what you need right now.â you gasped when you felt him take a handful of your ass, his bruising grip only exciting you further. âand what is that?â you leaned in, feeling the last of your resolve crumble when he took your hand to feel him through the denim of his jeans. âitâs so hard for you, baby,â he nearly moaned, lowering his tone, âand iâm still so hungry..â
#â€ïžâ âč works#âËâč⥠bitchy!kook!reader#outer banks#outer banks smut#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks imagine#rafe outer banks#obx#rafe obx#obx smut#obx fanfiction#obx imagine#obx x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x you#rafe fluff#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#drew starkey
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Could we have some of your Lamb head canons please?
I'm going with my modern au because it's my little obsession right now sijssj
I'm cutting the post so it wouldn't be so long. The whole description is below
So the whole thing with Old Faith as the most powerful religion and Bishops is mostly the same like in the game. The world looks similar to our in 1700s, sheep was hunted down over the decades and Lambert was in the group of the last ones. That group was caught and killed, Lamb was lucky enough to be outside the camp at this time but they didn't enjoy their freedom for so long. As a single sheep it was hard to survive on their own
Lamb seeing their wife for the first time sjsbsjsh
Lamber was caught some time later by bounty hunters. However, an accident happened when Lamb tried to escape one night - there were shot in the stomach badly enough that further travel was impossible without them bleeding out. So since Lamb was going to die anyway, the bounty hunters figured out they'd at least bring Old Faith their head. They didn't wait for Lamb to bleed out first, so that death wasn't fast or easy.
First years as a cult leader weren't easy. Taking care of the flock, learning how to fight, figuring out how rituals work, it was a lot for young Death's vessel. Lamb couldn't get used to their new role for some time. But Ratau was a huge help, beloved rat-dad was as much supportive as he could
After their first century as cult leader, Lamb began to feel comfortable in their role, perhaps a little to much I would say. Their grow their wool and started to pay more attention to their appearance and to the things that brought them pleasure. They started to fully enjoy their immortal life, to be too self-confident focused too much on themselves. They liked being in the center of attention, with the flock fully devoted to them. They even started to add a new tattoo with every kill of a Bishop or their the most devoted followers (as a trophy)
Beginning of XX century, Lamb become TOWW's little killing machine, no fear of death or pain. Ready to die, just to stand up and go killing again. They were fully devoted to Narinder in the most toxic way, ready to do absolutely everything just to make their god satisfied. Lamb didn't even realize how obsessed they were with Narinder at that time
Modern times, with Narinder already indoctrinated into the cult. Lamb as a selfish, egocentric, ready to do everything to achieve their goals bastard. Still unhealthy devoted to Narinder but this time in a different way - on one hand madly in love with him, on the other hating him with all their heart because of he did to them. Either way both of those strong feelings keep them close to him
Jeez this post took me more time to write than to draw djdbdjdj I'm soooo bad at writing
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THE CONTRACTED HEART â Rafe Cameron (06)
MASTERLIST | Basketball Player & Model!Female Reader
Summary: Rafe Cameron, a basketball star, needs a marriage to fix his image, while Model!Reader needs one for citizenship. They may be the perfect solution for each other.
Warnings: smut, descriptions of violence, jealousy, usage of drugs, talks about body image/ed, angst, and lots of bickering. Reader is confident, a people-pleaser, has a traumatic past, and is a sunshine with an attitude. Rafe is a whore, possessive, cocky, and secretive about his past.
Word Count: 5.3k
Aliyah's Notes: after the calamity of ch5 i present u ch6.... enjoy it. or not. AND IM SORRY FOR THE ENDING đ„đ©đ
đš
It's been days. Or weeks? You didnât even know anymore. The calendar on my phone kept reminding me, but you stopped counting. Maybe if you ignored the world long enough, itâll forget you existed. Maybe if you stayed in this apartment, you could disappear into these four walls like you were never here in the first place.
Numbers. You used to count them, obsess over them, keep track of every passing hour. But now, time feels... irrelevant. Whatâs the point of knowing how long youâve been sinking when no oneâs coming to pull you out?
The silence feels... safe. No one to judge you. No one to see the mess youâve become. Itâs funny, thoughâpeople always see what they want to see. The headlines called you a goddess, an untouchable force of beauty and success. But what would they say if they knew the truth? That the girl in their glossy magazines could barely stand to look at herself anymore.
You hated this. The lying, the pretending. Nina thought you were just going through a rough patch, but she didnât know how deep the cracks went. It wasnât supposed to be like this. You werenât supposed to be this anymoreâbroken, fragile, teetering on the edge again. You swore youâd never come back to this place. But itâs funny how easy it is to fall back into old habits, how fast the darkness creeps in when no oneâs watching.
No oneâs watching.
Maybe thatâs for the best. Let them keep seeing the version of you they wanted to seeâthe confident supermodel, the girl who had it all. Let them believe the lie, because the truth? The truth was ugly. The truth was youâve been staring at your phone for days, hopingâno, needingâfor a message, for something from him.
But nothing.
He was in Missouri. Working, you guessed. You didnât even know when he was coming back. He didnât say.Â
You hated him for that. But you hated yourself more for caring. For letting him in, even when you knew better. For thinking, for just one second, that maybeâjust maybeâthere was something real between you, beneath all the lies you told the world.
But none of it was real. Not the dating, not the smiles, not the person they thought you were. You were a fraud. A perfect, golden fraud wrapped up in designer clothes and empty promises. And the worst part was, you were too tired to fight it anymore. Maybe this was who you were now. A girl who hid in her apartment, waiting for the world to forget she existed.
Or maybe it already happened.
The sound of the door creaking open started you, pulling you out of the spiral youâve been sinking into. You didnât even need to look up to know who it was. No one else had the key to your apartment beside her.
âAre you kidding me, Y/N?â Ninaâs voice cut through the heavy silence like a knife. âThis is the third time this week. How long do you think you can keep doing this?â
You didnât respond.
Nina stromed in, slamming the door behind her, and you heard her heels clacking on the floor as she made her way to the living room. âYouâre not answering your phone. Youâre not responding to emails. You missed three shoots! People are asking questions, Y/N. What do you think Iâm supposed to tell them?â
You stayed silent, curling deeper into the couch. Maybe if you didnât look at her, sheâll go away. Maybe sheâll finally get the hint that you didnât want to be saved.
But Nina wasnât the type to back off. âNo,â she snapped. âYou donât get to ignore me, not today. You need to get up. You need to fix this, Y/N. You think you can just hide away forever? Is that the plan? Because let me tell you, honey, the world wonât wait for you to get your shit together.â
She stood in front of you now, hands on her hips, glaring down at you like a disappointed mother. Her usually immaculate hair was slightly disheveled, and you could tell by the tension in her jaw that sheâs been worrying.Â
âTalk to me, honey,â she said, her voice lower now. âThis isnât you. You donât just disappear like this. What happened? Is it Rafe? Is it work? Are you back toâŠâ her voice trailed off, but the question hanged in the air, heavy and unspoken.Â
You couldnât look at her. The shame curled in your chest, making in hard to breathe. She didnât know. She didnât know how badly youâve relapsed, how badly everything felt like it was slipping out of control again. And you couldnât bring yourself to say it. Not to her. Not to anyone.
âWhenâs the last time you even showered? Eaten something decent? Your careerâs on the line. Everything weâve worked for is on the line. You canât just⊠give up like this.â
Her words hit like slaps, each one stinging, but you still didnât move. You couldnât.
Nina huffed, pacing now, her frustration spilling over. âI donât know what happened between you and Rafe, and honestly, I donât care. But whatever it is, you donât get to throw your life away because of it. Youâre stronger than this, Y/N. I know you are. So why the hell are you letting this break you?â
You flinched at the word âbreak.â Because thatâs what it feels like. Like youâre already broken, shattered into a million pieces, and you didnât even know how to start putting yourself back together.
Nina crouched down in front of you, her voice softening, her eyes searching yours. âTalk to me, honey. Please. Tell me whatâs going on. I canât help you if you donât let me in.â
For a moment, you almost did. You almost told her everythingâthe text, the relapse, the endless void youâve been sinking into. But the words caught in your throat, choking you. Whatâs the point in talking when nothing will change?
You shook your head, your voice barely a whisper. âIâm fine.â
Ninaâs eyes narrowed. âDonât give me that bullshit. Youâre not fine. Youâre far from it. You think I havenât seen you like this before? Youâre not fooling anyone, Y/N.â
She stood, her frustration bubbling back to the surface. âYou need to snap out of it. Because in five days, youâre getting engaged to Rafe Cameron, whether you like it or not. And a week after that, youâre walking down the aisle. You canât afford to fall apart now.â
You swallowed hard, the weight of her words pressing down on you like a lead blanket. The engagement. The wedding. The lies. It all felt so suffocating, so inevitable.
Nina crossed her arms, her voice firm. âSo hereâs whatâs going to happen. Youâre going to get up, youâre going to shower, and youâre going to pull yourself together. Because tomorrow, youâve got a charity event with Rafe, and youâre going to smile for the cameras and make everyone believe that youâre still that perfect, golden girl they love.â
You wanted to scream at her, tell her you couldn't do it, that you didn't even know how to pretend anymore. But instead, you nodded numbly, sinking deeper into the fog that had settled over your mind.
Nina sighed, her voice softening again as she headed toward the door. "I'll be back tomorrow morning. And I swear, Y/N, if you're still in this state when I get here, I will personally drag you to that charity event."
The door closed behind her with a soft click, leaving you alone with the weight of everything she'd just said.
You hadnât slept. Not really. Just laid there, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out how you were supposed to pretend like everything was fine when every part of you was falling apart. You could still hear Ninaâs voice in your head, telling you to pull yourself together, to be the golden girl everyone expected you to be.Â
You dragged yourself out of bed, your body heavy. Your legs felt weak, and your mind feltl worse. Everything was numb, but somehow you still felt the pain. You stumbled into the bathroom, turning the water on without thinking. The cold spray hit your skin like tiny needes, and you stood there for a while, trying to let the string wake you up. But it didnât workâyou were still in that fog.
When you finally stepped out of the shower, you didnât even bother looking in the mirror. It didnât matter. You grabbed the first thing you sawâa plain black sweater, loose and oversized, and a pair of jeans that didnât quite fit right anymore. You didnât even try with your hair, just pulled it back into a bun. No makeup. What was the point? It wasnât like anyone cared what you looked like today.
When you got to the office, the tension hit you the moment you walked through the door. Your stomach twisted as you made your way down the hallway, each step heavier than the last. You could feel your pulse in your throat, your chest tightening with every breath. You shouldnât have cared. You shouldnât. But as you pushed open the door to the conference room and saw him sitting thereâRafe, looking like he hadnât been bothered by a single thingâyou felt the anger bubbling up, hot and sharp.
It started as a familiar ache that had been building ever since the night he walked out of your apartment without a word. Two weeks. Fourteen days of silence. Fourteen nights spent waiting for a text that never came, hoping for even the smallest explanation, something to make sense of the hollow space heâd left behind.
Day 1. Monday, 2:42 AM
You: âHey. Are you home? LMK, just to be safe.â
Day 2. Tuesday, 8:18 AM
You: âIâm still so confused about what happened last night, but letâs talk when you have a minute.â
Day 3. Wednesday, 5.32 PM
You: âLook, if youâre mad at me, just say it! I thought we were good, what the hell?â
Day 4. Friday, 11:04 PM
You: âItâs been days and I still donât understand why you left like this.â
Day 5. Sunday, 3:27 PM
You: âFuck you. I don't know why I keep texting. I know youâre seeing my texts, even though Iâm on delivered. Just tell me if youâre done with this.â
Day 5. Sunday, 10:41 PM
You: âWhy am I acting like Iâm the one who fucked up? I didnât do anything wrong. You left me like I was nothing, and your only explanation was a shitty rom-com excuse. I thought we were friends, Rafe.â
Day 5: Sunday, 11:36 PM
You: âI hope you rot in your shit ass apartment, but trust that I will show up to one of your stupid games with a sign that says âSmall Dick Ghosterâ in big, glittery letters. And I hope Chiara will hug you so hard that sheâll end up strangling you to death. Fuck you, again!â
And there he was, sitting there like none of it had happened, like you were still just strangers playing a game. His posture relaxed, that effortless confidence radiating from him, his gaze fixed on the papers in front of him, completely indifferent.
It infuriated youâthe ease with which he moved on, the way he could look so composed, so completely unbothered, as if he hadnât abandoned you in that moment when you were raw and vulnerable. Like it meant nothing. Like you meant nothing.
Every part of you screamed to confront him, to demand an explanation for the silence, the absence, the complete disregard. You could feel the hurt clawing up from your chest, tangling with the anger that burned hotter with each passing second. He was so close, but somehow, he felt miles away.
So instead, you steeled yourself, locking down the hurt, burying it beneath the anger that simmered just beneath the surface. You wouldnât let him see the effect he had on you, wouldnât give him the power to know just how much his absence had shattered you. Noâhe would get nothing from you. Not a word, not a glance, not a single sign of the turmoil raging inside you.
You walked past him without a word, each step heavy with the weight of the anger you swallowed down. Let him sit there, pretending like nothing was wrong. Let him think he could ignore you, dismiss you, erase you from his life without consequence. Because you would make sure he felt every bit of the coldness he had left you with, every ounce of the hurt heâd carved into you.
Ignoring him was the only power you had left, the only way to keep the anger from spilling over, from breaking you down entirely. And if he thought he could continue on as if the past two weeks hadnât happened, then he was going to learn just how wrong he was.
Nicolas cleared his throat, breaking the silence that had settled over the room. âHi, you twoâweâve got a lot to go over, and the timeline is tight. The engagement is in five days, and the wedding is scheduled for a week after that. So we need to finalize the details todayâfood, decorations, dresses, the guest listâŠâ
You couldnât focus. The words blurred together a dull hum in the background as you stared down at the table. Rafe said something, his voice casual, but you tuned it out. You didnât want to hear him.
Sabrina spoke next, her tone brighter, more enthusiastic. âThe audience is really enjoying you together, by the way. Ever since your date, and especially after the pictures from Kelceâs party where you two were cuddled up? People are in love with the idea of you and Rafe together. So, good job, guys.â
Your stomach churned at her words. Cuddled up. Like you were some happy couple.
âAnd tomorrow,â she continued. âYouâll need to make another public appearance together. Itâs a charity event for cancer awareness. A perfect opportunity for more good press. The public is expecting you two to show up as the perfect coupleâaffectionate, in love, all of that.â
In love.
You bit down on the inside of your cheek so hard you tasted blood. This was the part where you were supposed to smile and nod, agree to hold his hand and play the role of the devoted future fiancée. But all you felt was the tension building, the weight of the lie pressing down on you until it was suffocating.
Rafe shifted in his seat, and you could feel his eyes on you, but you still didnât look at him. Rafe felt an uneasy twist in his stomach. You looked⊠different. Disheveled, almost. Your sweater hung losely over your shoulders, practically swallowing your frame, and he could see dark shadows under your eyes that hadnât been there before. You seemed smaller somehow, your usual energy muted, replaced by something tense and fragile.
Rafeâs gaze dropped to your hands, noticing how your fingers fidgeted restlessly, twisting and tugging at your sleeves. Your leg was bouncing under the table, tapping out an anxious rhythm that only he seemed to notice. Every small movement, every nervous habitâyou looked like you were holding yourself back, like there was something simmering beneath the surface, ready to break free.
You still hadnât looked at him, hadnât given him a single glance, and that bothered him more than he wanted to admit. Youâd been messaging him, and heâd been⊠well, avoiding it, convincing himself it was for the best. But seeing you now, seeing the wear and tear heâd left behind, he couldnât shake the guilt.
Rafeâs chest tightened. Heâd expected you to be angry, maybe annoyed. But this? You looked worn down, frayed at the edges, like you've been carrying a weight no one else could see.
You didnât remember most of the details they were talking about. Your mind drifted in and out of focus as they went on about the guest list, the food, the decorations. All you heard were wordsâdresses, flowers, venues. None of it felt real. It was as if you were watching someone elseâs life unfold in front of you, just sitting there, an outsider in your own story.
âThe wedding will be televised, of course,â Sabrina says, flipping through her notes, her eyes gleaming with the excitement of it all. âAnd with a full press presence. We want every detail to reflect both of your public personas. Elegant, grand, but also with an intimate, personal feelâsomething that tells a story about who you both are.â
Who we were. I almost laughed at the irony. I didn't even know who I was right now, much less who we were.
âWe were thinking of something grand but elegant. A modern luxury wedding. White roses, lots of gold accents. Maybe something at the estate in the Hamptons?â
You glanced at the board, at all the glossy, pristine images of weddings that could belong to anyone. None of them felt like you.
âDo you have any preferences?â Sabrina asked, smiling like this is the most exciting conversation in the world. âColors, themes, anything thatâs important to you?â
"Actually," you finally broke your silence, your voice coming out quietly, but the words landing heavily in the room. "Iâd like the ceremony to reflect... my background." You could feel Rafe's eyes on you again, but for once, you didnât care. This wasnât about him.
Sabrina blinked, taken aback, but she quickly nodded, jotting down notes as if she were open to whatever you had in mind. "Of course, that could be beautiful. Were you thinking about specific details?"
You hesitated for a moment, uncertain if theyâd take you seriously, but you pressed on. "Yes. The colors⊠the decorations. I want there to be vibrant colorsânot just whites and pastels, but deep greens, maroons, and gold. The way weâd have them back home. And for the flowers⊠jasmine and roses. Thatâs what we use for weddings where Iâm from. I want it to feel like... like part of my heritage."
Nicolas raised an eyebrow, as if he hadnât expected you to care about any of this. But he just nodded, his pen moving across his notepad. "We can definitely arrange that. A traditional, multicultural theme would add a unique touch to the event, I think. Itâll definitely resonate with the press and the viewers."
You didnât care if it resonated. It wasnât for themâit was for you, a sliver of authenticity in this whole farce.
Then Sabrinaâs voice broke into your thoughts. "And of course, the dress. Have you given any thought to what you want? Or would you like us to arrange for a stylist to go over options with you?"
Your heart twisted at the mention of the dress. The one thing youâd always imagined as a girlâthe dress youâd wear at your own wedding. Only, youâd never thought it would be for this.
"Iâd like to include some of my culture there too," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe... a fusion. Something elegant and modern but with hints of traditional South Asian bridal elements. Like embroidery or... beadwork. Maybe even henna if it wouldnât look out of place."
Sabrina seemed to light up at the idea. "That would be stunning. We can definitely work with that! I know several designers who specialize in fusing traditional and contemporary styles."
She was still talking, but the air around you felt thicker, as though the room was closing in. You could sense Rafeâs gaze without even looking at him, the weight of his silence pressing into you.
You zoned out again, your mind wandering back to the last wedding you attended. The colors, the music, the way the brideâs lehenga shimmered under the sun as she walked down the aisle. Youâd always thought your wedding would be like thatâfull of life and celebration, surrounded by people who loved you.
Instead, you were planning a wedding for the cameras, for people who didnât know you.
The sudden, sharp knock on the door cut through the stillness like a jolt of cold water. Your head shot up from the pillow, heart hammering in your chest. For a moment, the world felt like it was still. The quiet of your apartment, the thick fog still clouding your thoughts. You didnât want to get up. You didnât want to face the world outside of this bed, this cocoon of emptiness youâd wrapped yourself in for days.
Another knock, this one louder, more demanding.
âY/N!â Ninaâs voice came through the door, sharp and impatient. âYou better not still be in bed, because I swearââ
The door swung open before you could even make a sound, Nina storming in, wearing the same determined, unbothered expression she always had when she was on a mission. You tried to bury your face back into the pillow, but she wasnât having it. Her hand reached down, grabbing the covers and yanking them off with force. You shivered as the cold air hit your skin, the warmth of the blankets yanked away along with any shred of comfort youâd been clinging to.
âGet up.â Nina wasnât asking. She was commanding. âYouâve got a charity event today, and Rafe is already at the venue. We donât have time for your pity party.â
You squinted at her, still half-wrapped in your sheets like a burrito, and mumbled from underneath the pillow, âCanât you just⊠I donât know⊠handle it for me? Go in my place. Youâd look great in a gown.â
She cocked an eyebrow. âOh, Iâd look amazing, but you and I both know I donât have that kind of charisma.â
âTrue,â you admitted, peeking out from under the pillow.Â
Nina raised her hands in mock surrender. âExactly. Now, up. Iâm not playing with you today.â
Before you could even protest, she yanked the covers off you with a dramatic flourish, leaving you to shiver in nothing but your oversized T-shirt. It was a miracle you didnât roll off the bed in the process.
âCome on, Y/N. Letâs go.â Nina didnât wait for you to even get a grip on reality before heading straight for your closet, rummaging through your clothes like she was on a mission. âYouâre going to look so good today that Rafe might just start thinking you actually like him.â
You shot her a glare that couldâve frozen water, but she just smirked, tossing a black dress onto the bed like she was some fashion fairy sent to save you from yourself.
âIâm not going,â you said flatly.
âOh, yes, you are.â Nina threw a matching pair of heels onto the bed with the same casual flick of the wrist she used to dismiss your protests. âBecause you will look stunning, and you will show up.â
You sat up slowly, rubbing your face. âWhat is it with you people? Why does everyone keep trying to drag me out of bed? Itâs like Iâm the worldâs most reluctant celebrity.â
âBecause you are.â Nina grinned, holding up your dress like she was presenting the Holy Grail. âBut, hey, guess what? Youâre really good at it. So stop sulking and get your glam on. Youâre the star of the show today.â
You let out a theatrical sigh. âOh, joy.â
Nina didnât even flinch. âIâm not asking for a performance. Just put on the damn dress and show up. You can pretend to be miserable, and Iâll pretend Iâm not a miracle worker for getting you out of here.â
You hesitated for just a moment, then dragged yourself out of bed with a grunt. âFine.â
âOh, by the way, Aishaâs going to be there. She practically begged me to make sure you show.â
Your eyes snapped open. Aisha Patel. Your best friend and, quite honestly, the only person in your life who could drag you out of bed with a single text. Sheâs been your best friend since youâd arrived in the States. Sheâd been away for five monthsâlonger than ever beforeâworking on some high-profile project in Switzerland. You hadnât seen her in ages.
âYouâre kidding,â you mumbled, sitting up and rubbing your eyes. âAishaâs coming?â
Nina smiled smugly. âYep. Sheâs flown back for the event. Can you imagine the drama if you donât show up? Sheâll never let you live it down.â
You sighed, a smile tugging at your lips. âGod, I missed her.â
âMe too,â Nina said, her voice softening for just a second. âBut you still have to get up. Like now.â
You looked at the dress Nina had already picked out, a sleek white gown that somehow made you feel both glamorous and like you were about to attend a royal gala. âFine. Iâm up. Iâm dressed.â
Nina, who was already rummaging through your closet like a pro, grinned. âYou look absolutely beautiful, honey,â she noticed your weight loss but decided to not speak on it, in fear itâll make you relapse⊠if only she knew. âChiaraâs also going to be there...â
You froze, the mention of Chiara Romano sending a cold shiver down your spine. Youâd told Nina everything about the Chiara encounterâher subtle digs, the way she made you feel like you were just another passing phase in Rafeâs life. Sheâd made things uncomfortable enough at Kelceâs party, and now you had to face her again?
âWhat? Fucking why?â
âHer fatherâs the one running the whole damn event,â she explained. âIâm surprised you havenât heard of her or her family because theyâre pretty famous, especially in the entertainment and events world. So, get ready for a day full of small talk, fake smiles, and people who will pry into your private life.â
You sighed. âHow perfect is that?â
You stood in front of the mirror, trying to shake off the heavy weight of everything swirling in your head. You glanced at the clock. You were running out of time.
You reached for your hair tie, pulling it through your tangled locks. Your hair had grown longer than you remembered, and you decided to tie it up in a messy, yet elegant bunâone that would allow a few soft, curly strands to escape and frame your face. It was casual but chicâclassic you. You let a few strands fall loosely, giving the bun a less formal, more effortless vibe. After a moment of satisfaction, you moved on to the makeup.
A soft, dewy glow covered your skin, nothing too dramatic. You didnât want to feel caked in layers today, just enough to enhance your features. You applied a touch of blush to your cheeks, just a hint, to keep the look fresh. A thin line of mascara lengthened your lashes, and your signature lip combo was the finishing touch. Simple. Comfortable.
As you turned to check yourself one last time, you heard Nina's voice from the other room.
âY/N! We need to go now. Rafe's texting me and heâs getting antsy. Heâs apparently already at the event!â
You sighed, feeling the familiar rush of anxiety settle into your stomach. The mirror reflected a version of you that was ready for the world, but the world, especially tonight, wasnât ready for this version of you. But as the pressure of the event built up, you couldnât deny the uncertainty gnawing at you.
When you made your way into the living room, Nina was pacing, her phone glued to her ear. She shot you a quick, approving glance. âLooking good. Letâs go.â
As you grabbed your clutch, ready to face whatever tonight had in store, the doorbell rang. Your heart skipped a beat. Was it Aisha? Maybe sheâd arrived early, wanting to meet up before the event?
But when you opened the door, your breath caught.
Standing in the doorway wasnât Aisha.
It was Rafe.
He was in a suitâsharp, looking like he belonged in a magazine ad for high-end fashionâbut his eyes, dark and intense, held something more than just a desire to impress. He had the look of a man who knew he had messed up.
His words hit you before you could even process them. âYou look stunning. I wanted to make sure youâre okay... before all this.â The sincerity in his voice made your heart thump a little faster, and you hated yourself for it.
The words caught you off guard, and for a moment, you just stood there, blinking at him. You hadnât expected him to show upâespecially not with that kind of intensity in his eyes.
You exhaled slowly, your arms instinctively crossing over your chest, your posture defensive. The audacity of this guy.
âReally?â You scoffed, trying to mask the vulnerability creeping up your spine with sharp sarcasm. âNow you care?â
Rafe seemed to falter at that, but he quickly recovered, taking a small step closer, but not enough to make you feel cornered. âIâve always cared, Y/N. You know that.â His voice was quieter this time, and the sincerity in his eyes almost made your resolve crack.
âDo I?â you shot back, stepping out of the doorway and giving him a once-over, your gaze icy. âBecause you sure had a funny way of showing it.â
Rafe winced, a flash of guilt flickering in his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair, his jaw tight. âI messed up, okay? I shouldâve reached out. I didnât know what to say, but I shouldâve just... shown up.â
You rolled your eyes, the anger simmering beneath your skin rising again. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, not from the sight of him, but from the frustration that had been building over the past two weeks. âYou didnât know what to say? You think showing up fixes two weeks of silence? Just like that?â
He took a step forward, his face tightening, as though he was bracing himself for a confrontation. "I wasnât sure what to do," he said, his voice lowering. "I thought... maybe you needed space. I thought if I gave you time, it would be better." He ran a hand through his hair, frustration clear in his expression. âI was trying to do the right thing.â
You stared at him for a long moment, the audacity of his words settling like a lump in your throat. âSpace?â you asked, your voice low, incredulous. âYou thought ghosting me for two weeks would give me space?âÂ
Rafeâs face twisted in guilt, but it didnât matter. You werenât going to let him off the hook.
âDid you at least see my texts?â you demanded, anger rising in your throat.
"Y/N, youâre needed at the car right now!" Nina called, stopping Rafe in his tracks of answering. Before you could walk away, Rafe reached out, his hand closing around your wrist, pulling you back gently.
"Wait," he murmured, his thumb brushing your skin.
You stared up at Rafe, your breath caught in your throat, uncertainty swirling in your chest. The air between you two felt charged, a thousand unspoken questions hanging in the balance. Your pulse was racing, but before you could voice any of them, Nina practically shoved you both into the elevator. Her hand pressed the button for the ground floor as she threw your heels at you, the sharp click of the stilettos punctuating the tension.
You caught them on instinct. The elevator descended, and your mind was still spiraling, trying to piece together what the hell was happening. What the fuckâthis distance between you and Rafe?Â
But just as the elevator doors opened, the sound of a familiar car door slamming outside caught your attention. A quiet thud, followed by the sound of heels clicking against pavement. Your instincts were on alert, an uneasy feeling crawling under your skin.
And when you turned to look, you saw someone stepping out of the car.
Someone who shouldnât be here.
âI was wondering when weâd get the chance to catch up.â
chapter seven
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=ÍÍÍ⥠Healing Hearts =ÍÍÍâĄ
=ÍÍÍ⥠Pairings:-Doctor Gojo x Intern F!Reader
=ÍÍÍ⥠Contents/warnings- Medical procedures, surgery descriptions, crazy sexual tension, eventually explicit sex etc. ER setting. Reader 26, Dr. Gojo 34, small age gap, work sex, complications, lots of humor, eventual drama and angst
=ÍÍÍ⥠Summary- You are the top Surgical Doctor intern, along with Maki, Yuta and Toge. You all are exhausted from passing the first month, sixteen plus hour days, days you don't even go home, all to get a top spot with the star Surgeon, Dr. Gojo, your resident doctor and boss. Or as you call him, Dr. Hojo. He's takes nothing serious but his surgeries it seems, and has a reputation for being a player, but he has that top spot, so you want to prove your worth! You just have to ignore those stupid butterflies he gives you, and those pretty blue eyes, along with his interest in you, and focus!
Toying with the idea of making this a full story soon! Comment to get added to the tag list when I do :) A rough draft of the beginning. Enjoy!
Part One
Fuck, youâre exhausted, the first month of your internship as a surgeon was brutal, you havenât had but a couple hours of sleep here and there, mostly on some of the hospital beds. Your bones ache, your skincare routine is barely hanging by a thread, and your hair is a wreck in a messy bun today. You thought med school was difficult, but it was nothing like this.
âHey, you okay babe?â Your best friend Maki Zenin asks softly, you look at her and smile, nodding, she purses her lips, tilting her glasses. âNo youâre not.â
âIâm wiped, Maki. This patient injected cocaine up his ass.â She bursts out laughing right in the middle of the hospital floor, you cover her mouth quickly, looking around. âShh!â
âShit, forreal? I thought my case was bad, heâs been here eight times for hits of pain meds since I have been here, he keeps bashing his hand on shit.â She sighs, handing her files to the desk then picking up several more.
Youâre both in your pale blue scrubs, Makiâs pretty green hair is high up in a ponytail, now your other two best friends from your internship come up, Inumaki Toge and Yuta Okkotsu, both looking exhausted along with you. Yutaâs eye bags rival yours by far, he slicks back his dark hair as you all check the time on your watches.
âAnother sixteen hours almost down.â He says through a yawn.
âTired.â Inumaki says, and you sigh, nodding in agreement.
âFuck that, we need to throw a party.â Maki says, somehow still so energetic, and youâre so confused how itâs possible.
âParty?â Inumaki asks, heâs certainly a man of few words, but his violet eyes explain whatever anyone needs to know.
âNo way, Maki. Fuck that.â Yuta says, earning Maki sticking her tongue out at him.
âBuzz kill, ugh. Listen, this weekend, weâll invite some of the people from our class, we can invite some of the other interns too. Ooh, maybe even those sexy resident doctors.â She wiggles her brows with a mischievous little grin.
âMaki, we're too old for that shit now.â You grumble.
âBitch weâre twenty six? How are we old.â
âI feel ancient.â Yuta agrees. âCoffee everyone?â
âI have to stop by Doctor Gojoâs real quick, meet you all there?â You say, and they nod, waving you off as you head to your Resident doctorâs office. Dr. Gojo was the boss of you four, one of the residents along with Dr. Nanami and Dr. Geto. All three were fawned over by all the interns, except you.Â
Yes they were gorgeous, and yes Dr. Gojo was positively beautiful, with his snowy white hair, his glittery blue eyes, his big grin. But you were just too exhausted and too beat to really fawn over someone, especially someone you really could not be with, seeing as he is your resident, youâre just a little intern. Satoru also happens to be the top surgeon in the hospital.
You go to knock but see his door is cracked open, you carefully take the knob in your hand, twisting it and peeking your head in, seeing Satoru Gojoâs head fall back, as heâs gasping. You look curiously, but his hands are up on the desk, as heâs biting his lower lip, his brows together, eyes shut. You clear your throat and he jerks then, clearing his throat.
âUm⊠hey intern.â He says, his voice clipped. You shut the door behind you, tilting your head curiously at him, his face reddening slightly.
âDr. Gojo, I have a question about this patient, is everything okay? It wonât take very long.â You say, and his eyes flicker over your face, an expression you canât explain, as he sucks in a breath.
âI um⊠can listen⊠in⊠fuck, fuck!â He moans then, he clearly moans, and you hear a bump on his desk now. âOh, oh thatâs so much better.â
âI⊠what the fuck!?â He flushes then, sliding back, and one of the nurses jumps up, giggling now and wiping her mouth, she has pretty blue hair.
âThank you Miwa, youâre a gem.â He stands, patting her head with a smile, and she giggles again, as you watch in confusion, your brows together, mouth open. âI need to talk to her about cool doctor things, Iâll see you around later?â
Cool Doctor things.
Blow jobs on the clock?
How is this your boss?
âYes, Dr. Gojo. Hi there!â She waves at you, as if nothing has happened, as if she wasnât just sucking Dr. Gojo off, and heâs looking bashful!?
âWhat the hell is this shit? Lock a door?â He comes to you, locking the big door with a click behind you. âNot now!â
âI forgot it was open, shit. Iâm sorry. Stress relief, you know.â He smiles down at you, a stupid smirk youâd like to smack off his pretty face, hands in the pockets of his long white doctor jacket. âDonât you ever need any?â
You heat up at his husky tone, as you realize just what youâd walked into. It had been a long time since youâd even thought that way, not just with Med school but now being an intern, especially since you broke up with your ex months back. âWhat? Yuck donât come near me.â
âWhy, ya jealous.â He brushes your hair back, earning your glare. âYouâre awfully cute when you are.â
âJealous of you? No thanks, I'm good. I sure am not part of your fan club.â
Satoru pouts. âYeah, and youâre the only one.â
âYep. Anyway, Iâm now disturbed.â You shiver with feigned disgust, making him snort a bit in laughter. âBut I only came in here to go over Mr. Lewis.â Sighing, you hand him the file with a gentle brush of your fingers against his palm. âHe's been a difficult case.â
âFuck, the cocaine dude? Ah shit, itâs that bad?â
âWe have him stable, but something about it threw me off, how could it be that severe of an effect? Colitis has lasted days now and no improvement.â
âMmm, true. But it makes sense, you canât just inject cocaine into the anus and⊠have a party.â A hint of laughter escapes from his lips before he can control it, earning a stern look from you, making him study the file more carefully.
âBe serious.â
âIâm your boss, you know!â
âYeah, somehow. Anyway, I feel there is something underlying. Perhaps exasperated by the cocaine.â
âUp the ass! Hah!â Heâs smacking his long leg now, chuckling, earning your glare. âOof youâre so serious, sorry, carry on.â He gives you a mock salute, and your eyes are so far back in your head they might stay that way.
âSo Iâm wondering if he has something else, untreated, the man has no history of any doctor visits since he was living with his parents.â
He taps his chin then. âHmm, good point. Itâs possible. Have we checked him for Chronâs?â
âShit, maybe, that would make so much sense too, his white blood cell count is through the roof. Iâll leave a note to run some tests before I go.â You take the folder back then, your fingers brushing, and it brings a blush to your cheeks.
âWhatâs wrong, intern?â
âJust weirded out by you, Dr. Hojo.â He snorts then.
âDr. Hojo!?â
âItâs what they call you, I guess itâs true.â You say, raising a brow, and he is leaning close, too close. You can smell that stupidly expensive cologne he wears every day, filling your senses far too much. You try to avoid those eyes, even though you look at them all the time, they still areâŠ
Too much.
âAnd you donât ever wanna just get eaten out?â You blush more now, looking down as he stands up tall, so fucking tall over you. âDonât be shy now, we spend more time together than alone.â
âI donât do that when not in relationships.â He pauses, and you expect some joke, since he takes nothing serious but surgery it seems. But he tilts your chin up, and studies you with those eyes, lids lowering ever so slightly.
âAw, so youâre a good girl.â He says teasingly, causing a warm sensation to spread through your stomach at his words. You shake your head and try to ignore the fluttering feeling within you.
âDonât say that!â
âTurn you on?â
âNo! Jesus. I donât care what people do with their bodies, I donât care if youâre a whole manwhore-â
âExcuse me!â
âBut I just need a relationship, Iâm not attracted to just looks, there has to be a deeper connection.â He studies you carefully now, so serious unlike his usual goofy demeanor.
âHmm, a challenge.â
âWhat now?â You glare up at him, clutching the folders to your chest tightly. âNot a challenge, you psycho. Go get all the blowjobs you want, like Thanos collecting all those infinity stones.â
He grins, sharp little fangs glinting, and you donât like the effects itâs having on your body, or your mind. You can barely take a breath. âYouâre actually so funny, holy shit.â
âYou donât really know me. Aside from work.â
âYou never take me up on any of those offers of coffee, or grabbing a bite, all you do is work Missy. All work, no play, makes a sad girl.â He taps your nose, and it scrunches up, making him smile a bit. âCute.â
âWhatever, I have to work my ass off, itâs important, I have to make sure I get to scrub in with you. That chance comes at the end of this month.â
âWell youâre the top intern I have, so donât worry so much.â He pats your shoulder, and you blink a bit. âSurprised? How. You graduated top of the school, you bust your cute little butt, and youâre intelligent, caring for your patients. Of course I was picking you first.â
âOh my godâŠâ
âYouâve ruined your own surprise. Act surprised when you find out, mmkay?â You hug him then, heart racing as you think of it. âOh so now you like me.â
âI can really scrub in to a surgery with you!?â You couldn't contain your excitement as you leaned back and looked up at Satoru Gojo. He nodded, his hands taking hold of your waist through your scrubs, and that touch?
Does things, fuck.
âIâm so sorry-â
âYouâre fine, intern. Stay a little longer.â You nervously step back, his hands are still on your waist, making you tremble, as your eyes both lock.
âI can never fuck such an opportunity up. Um⊠thank you though, that gives me so much hope, maybe I can actually relax for two minutes!â He smiles softly, nodding, his hands falling to his sides. âIâm sorry IâŠâ
âInterrupted? Nah. Think you made me cum quick.â
âWhat!?â You glare again, and his smirk makes you itch to smack him all over again. âDr. Gojo!â
âYouâre so pretty though, I think it made her job quicker. Win win.â
âIâm out of here. Ugh.â You turn away, hand on the knob, and then his comes on top of it and gently unlocks it with a twist, you feel his hard body against your back, and you get overwhelmed in his office, damn near unable to breathe, as heâs clearlyâŠ
Is Dr. Gojo inhaling your hair!?
âNew shampoo?â He asks, you turn to glare up at him, putting your faces far, far too close.
âHow would you know myâŠâ
âYou always wear that one that smells like strawberries, this one is more floral. Hmm I donât know if I like it as much, but itâs still yummy.â
âI⊠youâŠâ
âSee you later, intern.â He says softly, then finally steps away, leaving you reeling as you hastily step out without a word, leaning your back against his door, shutting your eyes for a moment in the quiet hall his office is in. You shake yourself out of it quickly, heâs just beingâŠ
Dr. Hojo.
Notorious womanizer, but the best damn surgeon there was, a whole idiot and yet an entire genius. And not your type, not at all, even if heâs gorgeous, you did not like man whores, or men that arenât serious, especially not your boss, anyway. Fucking your boss in this industry would essentially make everyone question every accomplishment as favoriteism.
You sure werenât going to sacrifice all your hard work for some dick.
You bounce away, heading to the little cafe where your friends are waiting, sitting next to Yuta who hands you a coffee with a little smile. âThank you, ugh.â
âYouâre welcome, girlie.â
âSo, party?â
âMaki!â You three say, and she sighs, shooting her espresso down.
âNext weekend! Come on you guys, what do you say?â
âOh fine.â You concede. Maki, Yuta and Toge all live with you, in your town home, since you could absolutely not afford it yourself, with the shitty pay of your internship and the college bills. It was left to you, but you still had property taxes and other bills, so they helped a ton. âNo one better fuck my house up, I swear.â
âHell yeah, hereâs to a party bitches.â She holds up her little styrofoam cup, and you all cheers each other then, laughing.
âParty, hmm?â Comes Dr. Gojoâs voice, heâs standing there with Dr. Geto and Dr. Nanami. You all get nervous then, but he grins. âIâm coming. What about you guys?â
âNo way.â Nanami grumbles, heâs very serious, his glasses slung over his sandy blond hair, his face exhausted.
âIâll come.â Dr. Geto chimes in, chuckling and sipping his coffee, heâs as tall as Dr. Gojo and well swoon worthy. He would be more your type you think, with that serious yet fun nature, whereas Dr. GojoâŠ
âCâmon Nanami. You gotta, you gotta, you-â
âJesus youâre a child.â You say, and Gojo gasps at you, Geto and even Nanami laugh, only earning Gojoâs scowl.
âYou brat, Iâm a good eight years older than you!â
âYou look like a twenty year old frat boy.â
"And you look like an angry little brat!â He shot back, only causing more laughter to erupt from the group.
âOkay, okay.â Dr. Geto holds up his hands now. âLetâs be nice, kids.â
âKids! Suguru Iâm older than you.â Gojo says with a glare.
âLike six months. Anyway, weâll be there at this party, text us the details? Weâd love to unwind.â Dr. Geto says, and Maki jumps up now, as you and Gojo are glaring at each other across your table. âGot it, thank you Maki.â
âOf course, weâll invite both of your interns too. Itâll be much needed after hell month.â You just sit there, as they all talk, and Gojo is all pouty, like a baby. You peek at your phone now, seeing a text from your shitty ex, your face falls.
âEverything okay?â Maki asks softly, and you sigh, nodding.
âJust the ex.â You whisper back.
âEx huh?â Satoru has somehow gotten behind you, leaning over, you smack at his hand then, glaring. âWhat, I wanna know!â
âYouâre too fucking much sometimes. Ugh.â You stand up then, slinking past him. âIâm headed to get changed and then Iâm leaving. See you all at home?â They all nod, eyeing you and Satoru curiously, you wave at the Doctors then head out.
Ugh, along with Satoru just being⊠weird and annoying, and your ex? He was a toxic, needy mess. Heâd left you because you didnât have enough time for him, and maybe you really didnât, how could you have a relationship until your internship was finished? The first week none of you even left the hospital, sleeping in bunk beds and showering there.
But he constantly needed you, made you feel guilty, would fuck with your alarms and everything. Thank God he was long gone, even if he was annoying you currently, you delete his messages, heading to the locker room and hearing steps. You look back curiously to see Satoru holding the door open for you.
âWhat are you doing?â
âI am sorry, that was rude of me.â
âYeah, well, whatâs new.â You both walk into the locker room now, Satoruâs shrugging off his white lab coat, your cheeks heat up while you slip off your scrub top, it was normal to change in front of everyone, you all had co op locker rooms and showers even, all of you took years of anatomy, the human body was nothing really but parts.
But as you feel his eyes on you, when youâre down to just a black lace bra and a pair of boy shorts, you tense a bit, looking at him, shirtless, his lips parted as he looks at you. âI am sorry I know I annoy you, Miss perfect.â
âIâm no Miss perfect. I guess I have a lot to prove.â You say softly, trying not to drink in his rippling muscles, perfect well defined torso, cuts low where heâs now sliding up a pair of dark blue jeans.
His blue eyes fixate on you as he does, as youâre sliding on a pair of jeans yourself, buttoning them with trembling hands. âI had a lot to prove once too. I do understand.â
âYouâre being serious?â You tease, earning a little smile, as he slides a black long sleeve shirt over his head. You get flustered as you realize your nipples are pressed against the cups of your bra, sliding your shirt and then a jacket on yourself, sitting at the bench to slide on your black boots.
âI can be serious sometimes, I just think thereâs enough death, sadness, and depression in this career. Why not just try to have some fun? Otherwise, itâll just consume you.â He says softly, in that husky voice of his, so sexy it alone could wreck someone. But his wordsâŠ
âThat makes sense.â You say softly now, standing as he does, grabbing your purse and locking up your locker, spinning the combination, at the same time he grabs his keys and wallet. âSo you try to⊠brighten up things.â
âYeah, someone has to.â He walks to you then, tapping your nose once more. âYouâre too serious, youâll have to lighten up, or this career will wreck you.â
You nod then, carefully, realizing perhaps this slutty, silly doctor had a lot more to him, than just being the perfect surgeon. âIâll take that advice. Thank you.â
âYouâre welcome, alsoâŠâ He leans forward as you all are stepping out of the locker room, headed toward the automatic glass doors, and you look at him curiously. âNice panties.â
âOh fuck you, Dr. Hojo!â You glare now, shoving at him, as he heads to his mercedes benz, and youâre in your ancient SUV that sounds like a beast.
âNight-night, intern.â He shoots you two fingers, sliding into his fancy car with blacked out windows. You roll your eyes, putting your car in gear.
What a day.
This is just a little bit of what I'm thinking of doing when I finish up my Lawyer Gojo story, thought I'd see who wants to be tagged and is interested in this :) Look forward to your thoughts on Dr. Hojo lol!
#doctor gojo#doctor satoru#doctor au#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#jjk smut#gojo smut#jjk x reader#jujustu kaisen#jjk gojo#gojou satoru x reader#satoru smut#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#current wip#work in progress#story preview#jjk fic#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen
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à±šà§ Ë àŁȘâč rafe has always loved the way lace looks on berry!reader, so she surprises him with something he'll really enjoy.
warnings: MDNI ! 18+ ! dom!rafe (duh), oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, use of the nicknames 'baby' and 'rafey', teasing, and strong language.
a/n: this marks the beginning of the berry!reader fics! yay! insp by this p!link actuallyyyy +++ i was listening to gibson girl by ethel cain and i definitely think that's the vibe of this oneshot pretty much summed up. berry!reader definitely put it on sometime during the 'surprise' ;)
cameron development had recently under gone a lot of changes upon rafe becoming a more prominent figure than his father, taking over his duties didn't prove to be easy though.
he'd been spending a lot of time in meetings, on job sites, riffling through real estate paperwork and what not. you hadn't really seen him in days but in all fairness, its not like you weren't busy either.
busy shopping around that is, rafe didn't mind how much you spent and you knew that but you had an idea. he's been working so hard recently and you've been out spending all his money, why not give him a fun surprise.
it was pretty late at night, rafe had endured a meeting that lasted several hours too long and he was dying to see you at this point. thankfully it would be the last of the painfully long meetings for a while.
you were busy up in his room, prancing around in this new deep red lacey lingerie set. complete with mesh lace trim hosiery and garters. you'd decked the room out in a few candles you could find and sprayed yourself with your perfume that also happened to be rafe's favourite on you (he always swore you put pheromones into it).
the front door of tanneyhill slammed shut downstairs, you could hear rafe's loud sigh and you wanted nothing more than to run down the stairs and greet him but you knew for the surprise to be good, you had to stay where you were.
he started calling for you, walking around all over downstairs waiting to see you turn around a corner to say hi, but nothing. when he wasn't getting the hint you finally leant over and grabbed your phone.
posing yourself on your side you quickly snapped a pic of you only your lips biting your finger and everything below until your waist showing. you knew that would get him to finally come upstairs.
you could hear the ding of his phone getting your photo on messages, "baby?" he mumbled, obviously he hadn't opened it yet but when he did you could also hear a drawn out groan and his footsteps heavily coming up the stairs.
"jesus girl, what're you doing to me-" he sighed, finally pushing the door opening and stopping at the sight of you, lying there on his bed with candles illuminating his bedroom.
"holy fuck," his jaw was practically on the floor and you swore you could see drool beginning to drip from his mouth.
you smiled, "hi rafey." and he just about lost his mind.
he threw his blazer off and slammed the door shut, locking it. next to go was his tie which he ripped from his neck and his shoes were flung off somewhere in the room, all while he was holding eye contact with you. he just couldn't look away.
"all f'me, fuck.." he breathed, now kneeling on the bed right in front of you. you looked up at him, seductively, purposefully. your eyes were absolutely screaming fuck me rafe cameron. and all he could do was oblige.
he tore his belt off and began unbuttoning his shirt but couldn't just not touch you for any longer. he reached out and grabbed one of your tits, groaning as he felt the soft lace fabric around your boob.
"are you surprised?" you said sweetly, smiling at him and now sitting up on your knees. he opened his mouth as if to say something but couldn't quite get the words out, so he just nodded, but then immediately connected his mouth to your tit.
you groaned at the sudden feeling and caught his other hand palming himself through his pants.
"rafey... rafe- let me put it in my mouth" you drawled, in that sweet tone you use when you want something. he sat up, leaving only his hand still around your tit but his mouth was again open in awe, "okay... fuck, you're so sexy when you do all this f'me, i'm so fuckin' lucky."
your fingers worked to get rafe out of his work pants and boxers, pulling them down your eyes widened as his length sprang up against his stomach. he watched your reaction with a grin and unbuttoned the remainder of his shirt. you drank up the view of your chiseled boyfriend tearing his tailored long sleeve shirt off his chest, it wasn't your fault he was so sexy. the prominent v-line and huge biceps never fail to make your legs weak, every damn time.
you grinned and gestured for rafe to lay back, so you could easily put his cock in your watering mouth. he obliged happily and smirked as you leant down, arching your ass up as you put one hand under his thigh for support and with the other hand began rubbing the mushroom tip of his huge cock.
rafe was never shy about making sound with you, nor were you with him. he grunted and swore under his breath, tilting his head back every so often as you worked your magic. "got the things you do to me" he sighed deeply as you once again took his entire length in your mouth, nose hitting his pelvis as your eyes roll back.
rafe started bucking his hips a little, practically begging for release. you grinned at him mischievously and connected your lips to his tip again. you stroked the rest of his length, his eyebrows knitting together as his jaw went slack, he tried and failed to stifle a loud moan.
"you're unreal- ah fuck... 'm gonna cum- baby..." he groaned before his cock twitched in your hand and lips, you continued to swirl your tongue around and suck his tip when thick ropes of cum began spilling out. rafe was a groaning mess as you lapped up all the cum spilling out and all over your hand.
finally you placed a sloppy kiss on the tip of his cock and smiled over at him as you sat up again. without a word he got up and grabbed the nape of your neck, taking you down backwards against his bed, roughly and sloppily kissing you.
he now had one hand sliding down your body slowly, gently, you knew he was teasing you, "ugh, rafe.. stop it, stop teasing-" you managed to choke out through his lips. he chuckled against yours, ignoring your request when he finally lifted his lips from yours.
"you're so fuckin' hot.." he mumbled, noses touching and his hand kept sliding down your torso, getting closer to your dripping pussy. "did this all f'me?"
"yeah.." you breathed, your legs squeezing together and your eyes begging for him to just touch you already. you felt butterflies in your stomach, fluttering around on fire. he smirked and moved his face closer, close enough that when he spoke his lips would brush yours, "yeah?"
when rafe pulled up the waistband of your panties you let a gasp out, your eyes wide, staring into his. he slowly slid his hand down into the fabric, still smirking against your lips. he took no time in sliding his fingers over your sopping wet pussy.
"fuck baby, you this wet from sucking my cock?" he teased, sliding a finger into your begging hole. you gasped at the sudden feeling of his long finger and he mirrored your reaction before pressing his mouth against yours, finger still pumping in and out of you.
he took no time in picking up the pace, you were a moaning mess and he adored the way you were digging your nails into the bicep of the hand that was down your panties. he slipped another finger in, the sloppy sound of your pussy was making him rock hard, and you could feel it, only make you more and more wet.
you were gasping for air, trying to hold off finishing on his fingers, "rafey..." you pulled his lips off of yours to grasp his attention, "rafey.. i need you inside me" you finally breathed. as you finished the sentence, you could feel his cock harden and twitch against you.
"do you now.." he said lowly, cockiness was dripping in his tone but you didn't care, you loved making him feel good because damn was he good at making you unravel. you nodded desperately which only made him groan in satisfaction, "the things you to do me y/n"
he licked his lips before tearing your panties down, taking the garters with, you didn't even care if he'd shredded any of it, he'd buy you as many more pairs as you wanted. you reached for the mesh lace trim hosiery but rafe's hand quickly caught yours, you looked at him questionably before he opened his mouth.
"no baby those stay on," he breathed deeply looking down, "your legs look so sexy with that red lace." you just grinned at his approval because of course you were right, he absolutely adores the lingerie.
lastly, he grabs your tits, peppering kisses all over them on top of the lacey bralette you still had on. he gently slid his hands under you to unhook the bra, all while his mouth was still connected to your chest. he slid the bra off and grinned from ear to ear, mouth diving in to put rough kisses all over your boobs again.
you ran your hand though his messy hair as he now travelled up your chest to your neck and your lips, passionately laying kisses on you. you had both arms wrapped around his neck when you felt his huge tip sliding up and down your wet slit.
"you want me inside baby?" he whispered deeply, breath hot against the shell of your ear. you breathed in deeply and nodded, looking down at the way his cock was resting on top of your stomach, it went all the way up to the top of your belly button. "i need words.. cmon baby, you want my cock inside your wet pussy, hm?"
"yes.. god, please rafe." you gasped, now looking him in the eyes. he smirked before leaning back a little and without warning, he slid his entire length into you, all the way to the hilt. you screamed his name and dug your nails into his shoulder blades roughly.
he groaned as he very slowly pumped his length in you, "just rafe's fine baby, this may feel heavenly but i'm no god" he chuckled deeply, grunting through his words. he couldn't believe how tight you felt, but how easily his dick slid into your pussy because of just how wet you were for him.
the pain turned into pure pleasure as he picked up the pace. the head of his cock kissing your cervix while you couldnât form a single thought, you just felt so full. rafe was determined to make you reach your peak, the twitching of your thighs and the way your moans were getting louder indicated you were getting closer and closer to coming soon.
the way you clamped around his cock made his eyebrows stitch together in pure pleasure. you felt so fucking tight, he nearly lost it when you whimpered in his ear, "rafey, cum inside me, please baby.."
he met your eyes with a grin and launched his lips onto yours, practically eating your face. he was so hungry for your lips as his cock began to twitch inside you, indicating he was about to spill into you at any second.
"if you're sure baby" he breathed between kisses. he continued snapping his hips against yours, even speeding up as he got closer and closer. you moaned, loud, "yes! fuck- rafe, cum inside me, i need you to fill me up."
he buried his face in the crook of your neck and released a guttural groan as hot thick ropes of cum filled your insides. you came undone around his cock, clenching and unclenching as he filled you up, breathless.
both of your movements had come to a stop as he lay there on top of you, his back rising and falling rapidly. "fucking hell y/n.." he breathed, "you're the prettiest thing i've ever seen."
you smiled at his sweaty grin, leaning in and kissing him softly, "i love you rafe."
he kissed you back before kissing your forehead, "i love you too baby."
#âŸ.Ë àŒâïœĄworks#âč àŁȘ Ëberry!reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron smut#rafe obx#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#rafe cameron obx#rafe smut#rafe outer banks#rafe fic#obx smut#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe x female reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe x you#rafe cameron x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe x y/n#rafe imagine#rafe oneshot#rafe cameron oneshot#drew starkey#drew obx
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Look shit is going to get bad. It's always going to get bad. But with that it means it'll get better too. What's good and bad is different for everyone. Many things that are bad for you know might stay that way. But many of them will also progress and change and actually get better. Beyond that thought, if you stay and you fight, you will get better. Maybe it is your family that'll always be crazy, maybe the political world will be beyond bleak for the foreseeable future, but if you stay you'll be able to see the things that will improve and will be good. I know so many of us have so much on our plates right now and the results of yesterday and dreadful. But please stay. I promise it'll be worth it.
Sure everything you hope for might not happen but you'll never get to know the things that WILL if you stay. I know the point of this post is mostly to address the dread many of us feel after the election. And I fully get it trust me I do. But as someone who has made that choice before and I am so grateful it didn't work for me to be able to still be here I want to share a few things.
"it gets better" is both right and wrong in my opinion. Yes sometimes the things that have you down so bad that you walk that path can absolutely get better. Sometimes they don't though and while that sucks it's okay. Because as I said before, YOU get better. (Not to run into "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" stuff because I get it, why do we have to be strong) You grow, you learn, you change. And with that growth and change your state of mind often changes too. Admittedly my life isn't too different from when I reached that point, but it's also so much better in so many ways. I'll use my family for an example. My family is so chaotic it's overwhelming and that hasn't changed, what has changed though is my ability to cope with it. I am still the one everyone runs to to fix problems. I still try to fix those problems more than I probably should, but I have started to learn to say no and to put up boundaries with them. So while yes it hasn't changed for the most part the growth I've had within myself has allowed me some space from all the chaos and it's truly helped me.
Then there's things like medication and therapy that's has helped immensely along the way. And I fully understand that not everyone has the same access to things I have been lucky enough to have along the way as the journey is different for everyone. And especially given the outcome of yesterday those things may become even harder to obtain for others. But I will say I also thought a lot of those things were out of my reach and I started asking the right questions and made it a little father (again this won't be true for everyone but hopefully will be able to at least a few)
I reached a standstill with progressing in my career because I didn't know what to do next. One day I got super lucky and met a new person who gave me so much guidance (more than I think they know) and it reignited my passion for my goals (again I know I am super lucky to find myself in that situation). My point with that is we have to be able to reach each other because you never know who you can help (with something that may be simple to you) and who can help you. You don't get to experience that if you're gone.
I'm not trying to get into my whole story or journey but I'm trying to share enough that it makes sense and is understood when I say I know what it feels like to be that low and I know what it feels like to overcome it. So please trust me on that.
I know things are scary right now. So much is uncertain and on the line. But you won't fix it by overly stressing about it and you won't fix anything is you don't stay. Times are going to get challenging and it's going to get hard and rough, but we will always be able to do something about it, especially together. So I can't help you if I leave and you can't help me if you go.
So take some time to process you frustration, your grief, and your fears. Then when you're ready take a deep breath and be prepared. Be prepared to take action. Figure out what is most important to you that you fear will change with the coming times. It could be your number 1 thing it could be a top 3-10 depending on what you have the energy for. And. Then start to learn. What can you do to help, what can you do to make a change, how can you make a difference. Then make a plan. When we all taken action things will start to be okay again.
But we can't inform each other if we're not here. We can't help if we're not here. Like OP said times have been bad before throughout history and humans have survived and we'll survive this. If you need a reminder and it won't mess you up too much look into the things people have preserved through (try not to focus too much on those tragically lost to those times because that won't help in this situation)
I know this is long and has gone all over the place but I needed to get this out because it's just part of everything swirling in my mind lately. So, sorry is it's a little hard to understand my points, if you'd like to reach out to discuss any of it with me if gladly try to be more clear on some of it I just was trying to not fully take over OP's post with my response (which I know I more than likely have by now, SORRY OP) this post just resonated with me and everything started flowing. So please just stay even if it means me typing all of this out was worth it and because you are worth it and we will work together to make it better
I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.
#truly am sorry op#and for how long and rambly it is#i just needed a place to say it and your post just happed to be the place to do so
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TAKE ME BACK : smut
summary: you're going to a party with your cool girlfriend. When she stops paying you proper attention, you switch to a random guy in a bar. and she won't like it at all...
warnings: dom!billie, sub!brat!reader, jealousy, strap (r receiving), degradation, oral (r/billie receiving), r called a slut many times
w/c: 3,4k
a/n: eng is not my first language! enjoy this dirty shit <33
requests open!
âHey babygirl. You look upset. Can I please you with a cocktail?â
You roll your eyes once again, sitting on an uncomfortable couch in the corner of some club that Billie brought you to because her friends really wanted to see her. You were on the other side of town and you knew that you wouldn't be home until morning, because it was well past midnight, and your girlfriend didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon. Billie was drunk enough and this evening you regretted not drinking alcohol. At least you wouldn't be so bored and lonely.
You've been hanging around your girlfriend for the last two hours so that she would pay attention to you, but her attention was only on her friends, whom she hadn't seen for a whole week. You didn't know why everything turned out this way today, because usually Billie can't take her eyes off you; You put your head on her shoulder, pressed your bare thigh against her thigh, you whispered in her ear, but you only got: âBabe, later.â Later? Fine. Your patience has run out.
You step onto the dance floor; hungry glances at your beautiful curves. Billie told you to wear that fucking mini dress that hugs every muscle on your stomach, your chest and parts of your thighs. Who can blame other people for their looks when you look like a damn angel? You don't even start dancing; you walk away to someone's brazen whistle; what do these men allow themselves? It's always like with a piece of meat. You want to go to Billie, but the thought of her telling you to just sit in silence again is maddening; you go to the bar. There are a lot of men, but you carefully walk past them and sit on the bar stool.Â
âWhat?â You woke up in a few seconds. There's a guy in front of your face now, no, more like a man. He has an atypical neat outfit for a place like this. The club stinks of other people's sweat and drunk people, but it has a nice perfume. You don't know why you noticed it. His perfume? You can definitely feel it, he leaned closer, repeating his question.
âI asked if I could buy you a drink?â You heard him this time, but you couldn't answer him right away. You can't agree because you're here with your girlfriend, you're taken. But does she even care about you now? After all, nothing will happen if you just talk with someone at the club while your lover is not paying any attention to you. âPlease don't tell me you don't drink. I'm not creative for another reason to get to know each otherâ Actually, you don't drink, but you can agree, right?
âUm, could you get a mojito for me? I don't like strong drinks.â The man nods knowingly and smiles. âEverything for a sweet girl in a barâ He signals to the bartender, apparently they are familiar.Â
âDid you hear what the lady said? Mojito. And pour less rumâ He turns to you, saying that your mojito will be done in a minute. You nod and thank him, trying to fight the strange feeling in your chest. It's like you're going to be punished for talking to him.
âYou're very beautiful, but you're not talkative. I bet you don't go to places like this often?â He tilts his head slightly, as if trying to figure out what and who you're thinking about right now. You adjust your dress and look up at his face. âYeah, I don't like noisy places.â His gaze darted to your hands resting on your hips.
âI get it. Well, tell me, what's your name?â His voice echoes in your head. You want to tell him that your acquaintance shouldn't go that far, you're going to say âNoâ when you hear a familiar voice behind you. âNo.âThe smell of her perfume hits your nose, her tired face with bruises under her eyes is in front of your eyes, her hair is scattered on your bed. Her voice is usually gentle, but not now.
âI'm sorry?â He's not looking at you. He's looking at someone behind you and you know exactly who it is. Her hands are on your waist, on your hips. She's only been here for a few seconds, but she's already been able to claim you. You can't see her face, but you know damn well she's giving your new friend a murderous stare right now. âApology acceptedâ The next moment, she drags you through a crowd of drunk and stoned people right to the exit of the club. She's a little shaky because of the amount she's drunk. It's cool outside, but your body is burning because of her. Billie drags you on until you're around the corner where no one will bother you. Your body hit a cold brick wall, her voice cut through the tense air between you, you shuddered. âWhat the fuck do you think you're doing?â
Your fingertips touch the wall behind you, her drunken breath on your face. You didn't like it when she drank, but the smell of alcohol was never annoying. âI was just talking to him.â You sound quieter and more insecure than you thought you'd be. Your eyes are directed straight to her eyes, hungry and greedy, you are breathing heavily. âIs that why he's ordering you a drink and trying to find out your name? Have you even seen the way he looks at you? If he offered to fuck you, would you be so responsive?âHer voice is loud and a little hysterical. Her hands are in the pockets of her shorts, but you can feel how much she wants to touch you.
âYou're exaggerating, Billie.â You look at her, your voice is cold, but everything inside you is burning. You know that she always turns you on like that, even though you hide it. âAm I exaggerating? Are you fucking kidding me right now?â She grins, her hand on your wrist, until she interlaces your fingers randomly. She takes you to the car and you try to tell her that she can't drive, but she shuts you up. âIf you act like a slut, I'll treat you like a slut.â Billie pushes you into the car and buckles your seat belt. She's so damn angry, the veins in her arms are bulging, but she still cares about you, and this one makes your hips clench harder. It makes you wet. The air in the car heats up when she slams the door and sits in the driver's seat. Her gaze is focused on the road, but her mind has turned into your home.
The long drive home is accompanied by her rapid breathing. You can literally hear her heartbeat. You can see the different scenarios of that night unfolding in her head. All of them are ended by your face pressed against the mattress while she fucks you. Her hand squeezes her hip, she bites her lip and you feel what's happening to her. You know for sure. You gently take her hand and put it between your legs. She swallows hard, her fingers squeeze your skin and you melt under her touch. âYou're fucking driving me crazy, you know that?â She parks the car in the garage of your house, and the next thing you remember is her all over your body, when you crash into the bedroom door, Billie, dragging you inside. Your body falls onto the mattress, your breathing is knocked out, and your hair is already slightly disheveled.
âYou're going to have to apologize properly, angel.â You're breathing heavily, looking into her eyes with obvious desire. You feel completely naked under her gaze, which screams at you that you are a fucking slut. For her. Billie's movements are feverish as she pulls off her shorts, reaches for your favorite drawer in your bedroom. Your eyes widen when she picks up your favorite strap. His curves were perfect for you, hitting the right spots. You're looking at it greedily. And Billie saw it.
"Such a greedy girl for a dick, donât you?" She grins as she puts the toy down on the bed next to you. Her body hovers over yours as she devours you with her gaze. Her hand flies to your neck, squeezing tighter than usual. "I wanna destroy, babe. I wanna fucking destroy you so that you learn your lesson." Your mind is drifting because of her words, you want to push her to do it.
"It was your fault." You look into her eyes, clearly seeing something snap inside her. Her grip on your neck tightens and you feel like you're getting less air. "What?" Her voice was so threatening that you were almost sure your underwear was already soaked. You knew that no matter how mean she was, she would never hurt you more than you asked for.
"I said it was your fault. You ignored me all night! What are you-" Your words get caught in your throat when you feel a painful blow on your thigh. You swallow hard, looking into your girlfriend's eyes. You've seen her lose control when you act like this. But how can she blame you when you're so desperately begging her to destroy you?
"You dare accuse me of acting like a slut, craving my attention? Well, you'll get it." Billie's voice drips with arrogance. She knew she should have given you some attention, but she's always been too much of a bitch to admit she was wrong.
She pulls you to your feet, forcing you to stand in front of her as she attaches the strap on her hips and sits on the edge of the bed. "You wanna be a brat, babe? Then I'll have to shut you up." She looks up at you, then leans down and whispers, "Knees."
Right now, you want nothing more than to drop to your knees and take her strap so deep that tears run down your cheeks and your knees are red. "I'm not being a brat." You hiss, looking into her eyes. You know this won't turn out well.
"Didn't you hear me?" She raises an eyebrow and pushes you down, causing your knees to hit the floor hard. You whine, clutching her knees for support. âAngel, donât make me move your head on my own. I know you want this.â
You gasp at her words, tucking your loose hair behind your ears. You lean down slowly, running your tongue along the length of her cock. Your eyes lock onto her face as you slowly push the strap into your mouth. Maybe your slowness was on purpose. âCome on babygirl, I know you can do better.â
She rolls her eyes, grabbing your hair. Your head moves at an unusually fast pace. You grip her hips tighter, trying to slow her down and suppress your gag reflex. Tears roll down your cheeks as you try to keep up the pace and not choke on the silicone in your mouth. You try to moan her name, but Billie just smirks.
âGood sluts donât complain, huh, babe?â She pulls your head away from her cock, holding your hair. Your lips are smeared with your spit, your cheeks are wet with tears. You breathe heavily. âYou are my good slut, arenât you? Use your words.â
âYes, yes I amâŠâ You swallow hard, looking at your girlfriend with undisguised desire. You knew this night would be long, very long. âVery goodâŠ.â
Billie takes your hands and lays you down on the bed, her eyes wandering over your body, your mess. âSuch a beautiful angel for me. Too bad I have to ruin you.â She chuckles and you whine, squeezing your thighs together tighter. She reaches for your legs, lifting your dress up to your waist. Billie smiled at the beautiful underwear youâre wearing . âFor me?â She smiles, spreading your legs and pressing two fingers into your soaked panties. âFuck, baby, youâre dripping!â
You gasp when you finally feel her hands on you. You bite your bottom lip, watching her tease you. âDid you get wet kneeling in front of me? Or was it when I called you a slut at the club, hm?â Her eyes are playful as she looks into yours. You both know the answer, you both know that she doesnât have to do anything to you to get you wet. âAt the clubâŠâ You answer quietly and Billie bites her lip. God, she looked so sexy doing that.
"And who are you so wet for, huh?" She takes off your dress over the top, her mouth flies to your breasts. She bites it through the fabric of a lace bra. You moan, throwing your head back. "You, you, Billie⊠Please!" Your despair causes sincere satisfaction in your girlfriend. She knows that you will never want to leave her for someone else. She will make you squirm under her touch while you repeat that she is the only one for you.
âGood girl. Such a good girl for me,â Billie praises, kissing and biting down your beautiful body. She adored your body. Such a divine and only hers. You could feel the marks on your skin under her touch. âBils, I need you. I really need you...â You're whimpering, making her smile.
âDo you think you can handle it?â She bites her lower lip, tilting her head to the side. Her gaze makes your body weaken even more. She had no idea what kind of influence she had on you. âYes, yes I can, I promise!â You get up on your elbows to get a better look at her face.
âWhat a dirty girl,â Billie giggles, bending down to pick up the edge of your underwear with her teeth. Oh, you were crazy when she did that. Her every action, her every breath and look made you lose yourself in love with her. Even if she was going to destroy you right now. Your woman.
âBaby, you're so wet. Is my girl ready for me yet?â She smiles, easily sliding two fingers into you. Her palm pressed against your clitoris, adding extra friction. Her fingers slid inside you so easily that you were ashamed of how wet you were because of her. âJust shut up...âYou exhaled heavily, covering your face with your hands. She laughed.
âOh, my little slut wants to shut me up? I don't think it's going to work, baby.â Billie abruptly pulls his fingers out of you, bringing them to his lips. She greedily licks each phalanx of her fingers, moaning contentedly. You looked at her from under your eyelashes, still feeling the aching emptiness without her fingers inside you. As soon as Billie cleaned her fingers, she licked her lips, bending over your body. âYou need to learn to watch your tongue, angel.â
These words sounded more harsh than anything else. Billie grabbed your hips and turned you over on your stomach. Your face was buried in the mattress and your ass was hanging in the air when Billie left a few ringing slaps on your delicate skin. âHey!â You're whimpering, looking at her over your shoulder. âOh, spare me those pathetic sounds.â She presses your head against the mattress, burying her hand in your hair. The tip of her strap teases your entrance, making you gasp with desire.
âPlease, Bils...âYou close your eyes, praying that she will give you what you want. âNot a brat anymore? It seems you just need a dick to shut that beautiful mouth.â She grins and you feel her cock slamming into you. Silicone slides easily inside you, making you grab the sheets and whimper into the it. After making a few slow thrusts, you feel Billies's hips against yours. She entered completely. âThat's it, baby. You take me so well...â
You let loud moans fly from your lips when Billie finds the perfect angle, driving into all the right points. There are new tears in your eyes. A new pleasure. Your hair is disheveled and tangled because of your girlfriend's tight grip, and there is no trace of evening makeup left. She's always made you like this. She destroyed you with her presence, her voice, her gaze, her dick. âFaster...â
Billie grins at your plea, but obediently complied with your request, pushing into you with a new speed. You grab the sheets, looking at her over your shoulder. How sexy she looked. âWhere's my sweet angel, huh? You're such a mess, baby.â You whimper when you see how she looks at you.
âBillie... I'm so close...âYou're mumbling to yourself, praying that she'll hear. Of course she did. But she was such a bitch tonight. âWhat? Angel, I don't understand a word...âShe was teasing and playing with you. You both knew what she was waiting for.
You want to sigh, but only moans come out of you. On trembling and weak hands, you get up on your elbows and try to talk to her the way she wants. Politely. âBillie, I wanna cum... Please, can I?â You immediately fall back, burying your face in the sheets, when pornographic moans come out of your mouth.
âMm, such a polite girl... Cum for meâ You laugh hysterically, feeling your walls squeeze her strap. It was the best feeling in the world. Your eyes are tightly closed, you literally bite the sheets, arching your back as you cum on her dick. You can't see her face, but you can tell for sure that she's smiling, watching what she's did to you. Not that guy from the bar, not anyone else. She. Only she could do it.
âJesus, Bils...âYou're breathing heavily, lifting your head from the wet sheets. Her strap is still moving inside you, helping you overcome a hard orgasm. âThat's it, baby, you did so well...âShe praises you by stroking your hair. It's one step from tenderness to rudeness, huh? Her grip tightens abruptly, forcing you to look at her through tears. âGod, my poor baby. What a pity that I'm not finished with you yetâ You're breathing hard, your mouth is dry, and you're sticking your tongue out like a fucking puppy after her games. Billie leans closer, her face inches from yours, and you already know what she's going to do. You always know what's behind that look. She collects saliva in her mouth for a few seconds and spits on your fucking tongue. As if you didn't ask for it yourself. Her warmth spreads over your tongue and you close your mouth. âSwallowâ You obey and she gently kisses your cheekbone. The only thing she did gently this evening.
Billie turns you over on your back, laying your head on the pillows. She settles between your legs, devouring your body with her gaze. âOpen wide for me, loveâ She purrs and you obediently spread your weak legs. Billie runs his fingers through your folds, collecting moisture. She brings her fingers to your mouth. âSuckâ You swallow hard and take two of her fingers in your mouth, circling each with your tongue.
While you're engrossed in her fingers, Billie bends down to your pussy and runs her tongue over it, making you sigh and bite her. She hums into your flesh, looking up at you with adoring eyes. âNo teeth, baby.â She grins and continues to devour you like a hungry animal.
Your sensitivity made itself felt and you tried to pull out her fingers to tell her, but she just pressed them against your tongue, depriving you of any opportunity to speak. You instinctively raised your hips, warning her. Your legs were shaking with pleasure and pain from over-stimulation. Your heels were crumpling the fabric of her shirt. You almost choked her with your hips. But she was just getting turned on.
Billie tapped your hips, giving you tacit permission to cum again. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, showing you the stars of pleasure. You can't help but bite her fingers again, but this time she lets you, seeing your condition. She helps you get through your orgasm and gets up to put her head on your chest.
âI'm so proud of you, dove... But we'll have to change the sheets.â She starts laughing, and you can't help but pick up on her laughter, even though you're a little embarrassed. You gently run your hand through her hair, removing the hair band that has almost come off her hair. You put the band on your wrist and hug her tightly.
âYou know you're my only one, right?â
âI know, angel.â
#billie eilish#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish fic#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish smut#billie eilish oneshot#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x you
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can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) - Part 1
Or: a secret Admirer AU
Less than a month into the school year, and Steveâs already making use of the library. If Mrs. Click could see him now, sheâd be proudâuntil she caught sight of the blank notebook page in front of him and the lack of textbooks on the table.Â
He feels stupid; heâs hunched over his notebook, trying to make his thoughts transfer onto the page in any coherent form. But, heâs not like Eddie with his impassioned speeches and clever English papers.
Words flow through Eddie in fully-formed, concrete ideas. For Steve, itâs more of a drip. Each word has to be scaffolded onto the previous one with blood, sweat, and tears. Even then, itâs never quite right. Too abrupt, never what he was actually trying to say.
Heâs just never been good with words.
By the time he gives up, thereâs more crossed out than left written, so he gets a clean page of paper and transcribes it as best he can. Heâs left with:
      Your hair is pretty. Do you use conditioner?
Steve tears it from his notebook and lays it flat atop his table in the library, smoothing out any crinkles in the page. It feels like the start to something, sure, but thereâs more blank space on the page than words. By a lot.
He leans back over his work, adds a little wonky heart in his blue pen and signs the whole thingâ
      †your secret admirer
âthe way all the girls who leave notes in his locker do. Their notes are usually on pretty paper, written in sparkly gel pen that smells like strawberries. The iâs are sometimes dotted with little hearts heâll never admit to finding cute. And thereâs envelopes involved, and usually more than eleven measly words.
His looks like something Eddieâll toss out before opening, mistaking it for trash.
Steve grimaces. How do girls do this? Do they all take some sort of class on how to write pretty letters on pretty enough paper that boys will fall in love with them? Is that what they teach in Home Ec? He should have never let Tommy mock him into switching to shop class.
Should he ask a girl?
Under no conditions will he ever ask Carol. Sheâd have far too many uncomfortable questions and tell the whole school all of his embarrassing answers. Heâd be run out of town within days, Carol holding the sharpest pitchfork.
Steve leans back in his chair with a groan too loud for the library and fists his hands to rub tired eyes.
âAre you okay?â Steve jerks, sending his pen and paper careening to the ground in his attempt to cover the compromising words upon the page. âOh, sorry!â
Steve watches, horrified, as Chrissy Cunningham bends down to pick his supplies up off the carpet before heâs had time to scramble out of his chair. Sheâs in her cheer uniform, white zip-up Hawkins hoodie covering her arms. She looks perfect and preppy and just like all the girls whoâve ever left a note in his locker.
Sheâd be able to write something that Eddie would want to read.
âSteve?â Chrissyâs hovering over him, lips pursed, eyes big and worried. âAre you okay?â
âShit, sorry,â he replies. Sheâs got his note clutched to her chest. He curls his fingers against the urge to reach out for itâthatâll just draw her attention, and thatâs the last thing Steve wants right now. âJust got lost in my head.â
âAnything I can help with?â
He knows what sheâs going to do before it happens. Chrissyâs sweetâif thereâs a way to help, sheâll want to. So, she holds out the paper and begins to read, probably expecting an assignment she can tutor him on, and there they are: Steveâs damning words written in still-wet blue ink.
Her brow furrows as she takes an obscene amount of time mouthing out the words before she looks back up to meet his eyes. âDid someone give this to you?â
Her eyes are still big, but they look sad now, like just the thought of someone receiving the note heâd slaved over is enough to distress her. Unable to help himself, Steve snatches it from her hands and crumples it into a ball, damning words hidden in his fist.
Chrissy gasps at his abrupt movement and takes a halting step away.
âI wrote it,â he mutters, no longer able to meet her eyes.
Sheâs silent for long enough that heâd think she left, except the libraryâs quiet, and he hasnât heard her take a step. He stares at the grains of the wood in the table, empty hand rubbing against the smudged top as he waits for her to do something.
âAre youâŠâ she starts, trailing off for a moment before picking her thought back up, ââŠpicking on someone?â
Steve clenches his fist tighter, note crinkling beyond repair beneath his nails as he mutters, âno.â
Chrissyâs quiet again. Steve doesnât dare to look up, even as he hears the chair across from him pull out, the sound of her weight settling into the wood. The tableâs just so interesting. Nothing has ever been as intriguing as the little chip out of its edge, the ring on the wood where someone had let their drink condensate against all the libraryâs rules.
âWhoâs this for?â Chrissyâs voice is soft now, like heâs some sort of horse, prone to bolting when spooked. âSteve?â
Steve looks up. Her eyes arenât sad anymore; theyâre piercing.
Heâs always liked Chrissy. Sheâs the nicest girl in the school, until someone does something she doesnât like. Then, itâs all disappointed eyes, and pouty lips. Itâs like disappointing his Mom, but worse, because his Momâs never around to stare balefully at him.
The point is, Chrissyâs nice. Sheâs not like Carol. If he told her, there would be no lynch mob, or fleeing Hawkins in the dead of the night with nothing but the clothes on his back. Probably. Maybe.
Steve tries to smooth out the page, and scowls down at it when the wrinkles refuse to disappear. Itâs even worse now, words made illegible by the deep creases his fingers have pressed into the paper. Thereâs no way Eddieâd ever want a note like this.
So, he says, âMunson,â looking up to try to watch his meaning land on her face.
It doesnât. Her foreheads all scrunched up as she looks down at the note. Only then does Steve realize heâs caressing the wonky little heart. He pulls his hand back, curling his fingers in so she canât see the smudge of blue on his pointer finger.
âAnd you arenât making fun of him?â
Steve can feel his shoulders drooping. He wants to disappear into the floor, melt into the carpet and become one with all the other mysterious stains upon it. âNo.â
âOh,â Chrissy replies, drawn out and low as she peers down at the crinkled note with a confused frown. But something must click because she straightens, eyes wide beneath her bangs. âOh!â
Itâs loud enough that they both reflexively flinch. But, when no librarians come skulking around any corners, Chrissy turns back to him, gaze uncomfortably intent. Steve wonders, somewhat horrified by the turn his life has taken, if heâs about to get hate-crimed by a cheerleader half his size.
But Chrissyâs niceâalways has been, always will be. So, she bites her lip and looks furtively around like sheâs only just realized this is a conversation that shouldnât have any witnesses. âBut you like him?â she whispers.
Steve leans forward, matching her energy and pitch as he replies, âyeah,â quiet enough that itâs barely a breath. Chrissy smiles at him, warm and small, just like her hand as she reaches across the table to put it over his and squeeze comfortingly.
The note sits, damningly soiled beneath their linked hands, wrinkled, and smudged, and barely-legible handwriting. The weight thatâd lifted with Chrissyâs smile sinks back into his gut.
âBut it doesnât matter,â Steve says, letting go of her hand so he can pull the note closer to himself. âIâm no good at this stuff.â
Steve crinkles the note back up. Itâs unsalvageableâa stupid idea executed badly.
Heâs in the middle of stuffing it into the pocket of his jeans to keep his keys company until he can toss it out in the comfort of his home when Chrissy says, âmaybe I can help?â voice lilting up, like itâs a question.
Steve meets her eyes, hand still half-shoved in his pocket. Sheâs all earnest now, the way she usually is when there isnât a sad boy infecting her with his own ineptitude. Eyes shining with conviction, bangs curling sweetly around her face. Sheâs no Carol, thatâs for sure.
âHow?â he asks, and when she smiles, it looks a bit like hope.
***
 âI can help you write a better letter,â Chrissy starts. He perks up like a dog the moment its owner gets home. âIf you do something for me.â
She feels like scum when he curls back into himself, gaze forlorn.
When sheâd caught sight of the note heâd spent what seemed like a full hour pouring over, this isnât what sheâd been expecting. And when sheâd finally made out his chicken scratch scrawl, sheâd been sure Steve was picking on someone, no matter how unlike him it would have been. But then his shoulders had curled in, and his ears had turned red, and his voice had gone all soft and squishy when heâd said Eddie Munsonâs name.
And sheâd just wanted to fix it.
So, even as he asks, âwhat?â all sad and droopy again, she knows sheâs going to help him, no matter what he says.
âDate me,â she asserts. Itâs only as Steve blinks stupidly at her that she realizes how that came out of her mouth. âNo, wait, not really!â
Her hands are waving around wildly and she can feel the blood rushing to her cheeks. In contrast, Steve seems to come back into himself, shoulders shoring up as he smirks across at her with his signature raised brow. The one heâd used while leaning on Nancy Wheelerâs locker last year, or holding her books as they walked to class, and all the other assortment of stereotypical boyfriend activities.
Heâd worn it all the time, like it was part of the uniform.Â
âI just meant, we could fake it?â His right eyebrow raises to meet his left, forehead scrunching up with his incredulity. âItâs just, Jason and I broke up? And he wonât leave me alone.â
It takes all her strength to keep meeting his eyes as the seconds tick away. But then Steve nods, swings his letterman jacket off, and tosses it across at her. Unprepared for his sudden movement, it hits her in the face and drops into her lap.
âThere you go, sweetheart,â he says with a cheesy wink that somehow manages to feel more genuine than any of his actual flirting techniques. âGotta sell it somehow.â
âWhat a romantic,â she replies, deadpan, but she pulls his jacket on anyway, something that feels an awful lot like relief steadying her heart rate as she smooths down the too-long sleeves.
Jasonâs going to freak out. But after that, maybe heâll stop calling her house, and trying to put his arm around her at lunch, and trying to pick her up for school every morning. Sheâd do almost anything to get it into his thick skull that sheâs not interested.
So, here she is, hashing out the details of a secret admirer letter from Steve Harrington to Eddie Munson, of all the unlikely pairings.
âWhatâs wrong with what I wrote?â Steve whines, running his fingers through his hair until itâs all mussed up and falling into his face.
Chrissy snorts. âIt sounds like youâre telling him his hair is frizzy and dry.â
âI said it was pretty!â He throws his hands in the air before crossing them and pouting his lower lip out.
Chrissy canât help but laugh. Sheâs always liked Steve. Heâs nicer than most of his friends, and heâs easy to talk to. But this is a side sheâs never seen of him. Sheâs not sure anyone has; canât imagine Carol or Tommy seeing him put his whole heart into something and not tearing it to shreds.
âDo you use conditioner?â she asks, throwing finger quotations around it as she reads it off the crumpled page.
Steveâs blushing again, cheeks all blotchy and red, rather unbecoming for the shoo-in for this yearâs prom king. âWell, I thought you said youâd help!â he says, a little too loud for the library.
So, thatâs how she ends up spending the next hour painfully turning Steveâs earnest thoughts into words on the pretty baby blue paper sheâd carefully removed from the back of her daily planner.
In the end, theyâre left with this:
     Eddie â
      I wish I could say this to your face, but Iâve never been good with words, and youâd probably think it was a joke.
      I canât even get myself to talk to you, youâre so distracting.
      I like how pretty your hair is. How do you get your curls so shiny? I want to run my fingers through them.
      I hope this note brightens up your day. You deserve all the smiles you can get.
      Yours,
      Your Secret Admirer
Itâs not what she would write, but still, itâs leagues better than what heâd started with. She slides it across to Steve, and he smiles down at it. He reaches his hand out, fingers almost brushing the page before he pulls his hand back, curling his fingers into a fist.
âWhat if someone sees me?â he asks, voice so quiet she can barely hear him even in the resounding silence of the library.
Theyâd managed not to talk about it, the dangers of Steve liking a boy. But itâd been present in the hesitancy by which he shared each of his thoughts, looking up at her like each remark would be the last straw before she recoils in disgust.
If someone finds out that Steve has a crush on a boy, it wonât take long until heâs getting beat up between classes or heckled straight out of school. Heck, even with all the rumors floating around about him, Eddie might be the one to throw the first punch.
âDo you want me to deliver it for you?â she asks.
âYouâd do that?â he asks back, because apparently no one ever taught him not to answer a question with a question. âFor me?â
âWhat else are fake girlfriends for?â she asks because theyâre all questions now, no answers to be had between the pair of them.
Steve laughs, all tension leaving his shoulders as he throws his head back with amusement, eyes downright twinkling as he beams across at her.
âYouâre the best, Chrissy,â Steve says, smiling even brighter as she replies, âI know.â
She leaves school that night after pushing Steve Harringtonâs love note through the slats of Eddieâs locker, Steveâs letterman jacket keeping her warm from the cold.
This might be the best relationship sheâs ever had, fake or not. Eat your heart out, Jason Carver.
PART 2
Welcome to my new AU! This will be posted in 21 parts. It is complete, so there will be a new update each morning until it's all posted. I've elected not to do a tag list, but it will be added to my pinned post each day as well. If that's not your speed, it will be added to Ao3 once it's all been posted here.
Special shoutout to @queenie-ofthe-void for not only their usual fabulous beta work, but also both the original idea and the writing of some of the secret admirer letters. You not only make me a better writer, but this work literally would not exist without you. <3<3
Title of the fic from the song Eyes in the Sun by Florist
#koko's steddie secret admirer au#my fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#this has been a silly goofy wonderful labor of love I am now releasing into the wild for all of you <3#also for those of you who voted in that poll#i elected to post the batches in about 4k or less parts because that's about my own personal cap for enjoyment in reading fics on tumblr#longer than that and i have a propensity to run out of time and lose it so!#here you go
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I'm not from the US, but this affects a lot of people and it got me feeling extremely desperate and anxious during the night.
But when I woke up this morning, I thought "many years ago, people survived fascism, nazism, suppression of minority rights, a world war, conservative governments - they fought against them, they resisted, they stood up for their rights and got to where we are today. No matter what happens, humanity has survived this kind of shit and the world won't end. It'll be difficult and dangerous, but it won't end. We can resist and we can survive - and in a few years, just like those people who survived this kind of shit before, it'll look like a distant evil. If the people like me decades ago survived, I can survive too."
I know it isn't the most comforting of thoughts, but it gave me peace. We'll have to be strong, stick together and survive, but history shows us that eventually governments and evil people like this fall and WE go on. History shows it'll be alright - with a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but it'll be alright.
On another note, what I learned from my fave rock/metal bands from the 70's/80's: now is the time to make our art gayer, counter this conservative/fascist/whatever you want to call culture, more feminist, more sexual, more EVERYTHING that is against what it's gonna be shoved down our throats as righteous. That's what art is for and the more I see things about the 80's, the more I understand that relasing the songs we listen today as normal was a HUGE scandal that people tried to censor back in the day.
We're gonna be alright. Keep doing your art, keep fighting back and stand up for your rights. Stay safe and remember: people before us have gone through this kind of shit and they are alright. We'll be alright too.
So, I guess as a middle range millennial, I now get to tell all you young queer kids that what you are feeling right now is exactly how it felt in 2004 when we re-elected George Bush, and not only that but many states put in bans against gay/same sex marriage at the time.
This is probably not comforting, but it is true, and it helps me when I feel hopeless: For every revolution there is a counter revolution, for every step forward there is a step back, that things may not be good forever but they will not be bad, either. That we clawed our way to get where we are and we can claw our way forward from here, too. Talk to your queer elders, the ones who have been here before and will be here again and who threw bricks at Stonewall.
When I was a child, if you got AIDS it was a death sentence. Now it isn't. Now you live on.
So I'll quote angels in america: You are fabulous creatures, each and every one. And I bless you: More Life. The Great Work Begins.
#sorry op for the art/band ramble part as a side note but I wanted to talk about it hahahaha#because I'm a little punk at heart and that's what we should stand for#and I think art had always been super important to kinda fight back whatever waves that try to push us back in whatever progress we do#so yeah#take a deep breath everyone and let the anxiety flow#it is what it is and now is the time to be brave and keep going#for the people in the past that fought to get us here#and for the people in the future who'll think back on us and find strength in how we went through this#it will be alright
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Hellooooo
Mae, could you maybe (absolutely no pressure or anything!!!) write something with Vampire!james x reader when he once again feeds from her and actually takes too much or so? Not like so much that itâs really bad or so but like too much, you know?
I havenât thought about it a lot so Iâm sorry that itâs so incomplete. The rest is yours to decide (as always)
(Sorry that my request is so messy, itâs the middle of the night for me)
Wasn't messy at all gorgeous! Thanks for requesting <3
cw: blood, lightheadedness/near fainting
vampire!James x fem!reader ⥠682 words
You donât notice it happening. You suppose thatâs probably by designâvampires are supposed to drain their victims, after all, and that biology doesnât account for your gentle boyfriend and his willing bloodbag. Youâre not cognizant of any change between when your mind feels pleasantly fuzzy and when it starts to slip away from you altogether, dark spots blotting your vision and your bones losing their solidity. James notices, though, when you turn to mush in his hands.Â
âShit.â His voice is garbled by fang and slurred by gluttony, his arms encircling you to better prop you up. You feel a warm droplet of blood trudge down your front as he takes his mouth from you in a hurry. James swears again, wetting the wound to close it. âShit, sweetheart, Iâm sorry. Are you okay? Can you hear me?âÂ
You make some somnolent sound of reassurance, but it doesnât seem to do its job well. James is panicky and upset, trying to calm himself enough to figure out what to do with you.Â
âOkay.â He kisses your face, eyes watery. âIâm sorry. Youâre okay. Letâs lay down, yeah? Come here.â
Youâre not really up for following instructions, but James does the work himself, laying you sideways on the couch and propping your head on a pillow.Â
âStay awake, angel.â He lifts your legs some, holding your ankles in one hand while the other strokes up and down your leg soothingly. âCan you do that for me?âÂ
You hum. Youâre feeling better already. Itâs not like usual, where the fuzzy feeling starts to fade as soon as James takes his lips from you, but youâre beginning to feel more solid. âJames, mâokay.âÂ
âIâm so sorry,â he says, voice hoarse with emotion. âHow do you feel? Do you want some water?âÂ
âI feel better.â You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. âJust a littleâŠa little weird. Hey. Jamie.â You cover his hand on your leg with yours. Your boyfriendâs expression looks tormented, his eyes glassy with self-loathing. âItâs okay, lovely. Iâm fine, I just need a minute.âÂ
âI canât believe I didnât stop,â he admits in a near whisper.Â
âI should have let you know.âÂ
âHow were you supposed to? I was drinking you dry.â His voice thins. James closes his eyes, agonized. âIâm so sorry, sweetheart. That was dangerous. I couldâve killed you.âÂ
âYou wouldnât have,â you tell him gently.Â
âI could have, IââÂ
âJames.â You sit up on your elbows. Your boyfriendâs brows bunch concernedly, but your head feels fine. Maybe your protectiveness of James is just more substantial than anything else in you. âYou wouldnât have, baby. Really. I know youâre worried youâre going to lose control or something, but thatâs not what happened. We just both let it go a little too far. And when you realized what was happening, you stopped without even thinking about it.â You make your voice firm. âThis was just a fluke. It was bound to happen at some point, but youâd never really hurt me. And everything turned out fine, right? Didnât it?âÂ
James breathes out. âI donât know,â he says uncertainly. âAre you fine?âÂ
âYeah. Iâm fine.â You give him a smile, reaching out your arms.Â
James hugs you but doesnât meet you halfway. He presses you back into the couch instead, his arms wound tight around your middle and stubble scritching against your cheek.Â
âYou promise youâre okay?â He turns his head to kiss your ear. âBe honest.âÂ
You rub his back. âI promise. I just needed a minute. Itâs normal, you know?â
James sighs, his body sinking into yours. âNothing about this is normal.âÂ
âI guess. But I was talking about, like, blood donation. This happens all the time in those cases.â You lie there for a minute, you soothing your palms over his back and him with his arms wrapped around you. âI feel fine to sit up now, by the way.âÂ
âNo way.â James kisses the shell of your ear again. âYou scared the shit out of me, baby. Iâm never letting you up off this couch again.â
#vampire!james potter#james potter au#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter x self insert#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter hurt/comfort#james potter imagine#james potter scenario#james potter blurb#james potter drabble#james potter oneshot#james potter one shot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders x reader
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Felt bad because the last pac was a little short, so it's a similar one. Those paper snowflakes were small, these are big.
It's about any area in life, and probably most of it will be future things, but I hope this will give you hope and motivation.
YOUR BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Pile 1
Even if there's hard things, even if there's chaos and you need to start again, you will able to do it, and you will be better than ever! For some of you, it's especially true with finances, you will have a stable life. But also you will have a good relationship, maybe against all odds, maybe you didn't saw good examples, but you still have a good connection with your partner. You can definitely be succesful in something creative, I feel so much spark, inspiration, unique ideas. And you will have some deep wiseness, maybe it's connected to spirituality, but somehow you can teach people. You will also know and love yourself.
Pile 2
Your ambitions will come true, your hard work will definitely pay off. You can also be good at manifestation. I see you can be a boss, be in a high position, you basically can buy anything, you won't have financial struggles. Also, you will be the boss of your own life in every way too, you have power to change it. If you have some anxiety, nervousness, your mental health will be so much better. And you will feel free, you will move on, let go of past mistakes, past toxic people. You will love your life, you will be active, full of passion. If you want to move to another city or country, this will definitely happen. Even if you don't want to, you will travel a lot.
Pile 3
It feels you were lost, maybe you needed to fight, others didn't understand you. But it's like your life will be the complete opposite. For some of you, you will live literally the other side of the world. I think you will be lucky too, but it's more like you will have help from your spirit guides. Finally, everything will be okay. You will have a loving partner, and you will love yourself too. Your unique thinking and person will be appreciated, you will be in a like-minded community. You can finally be in peace with yourself and life, your struggles are over. You did so much inner work, and you feel good about yourself too. Others will love your company because your authentic nature and your good vibes.
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you dream of stars, so, for you, i climb the moon || leona kingscholar
"dreams in a new world could still stay the same, right?" you start randomly in the midst of cooking, leona's ears twitching to indicate he heard you. "there's nothing wrong with my dreams?"
"of course there ain't nothin' wrong with your dreams." leona rumbles somewhere nearby you, pausing to somewhat clumsily flip the pancakes he was making. "dreams are... stupid, naive, sometimes. but they're never wrong. what, did ya have some dumb dream?"
"no, nothing like that." you murmured, and the kitchen fell quiet again as the fires burned by your sides. "just thinking about how, when i was little, i really wanted to open a bakery. it was supposed to be all nice and cute, too, but then life happened."
"life happened." leona echoes, sort-of-agreeing with you before switching off the stove and taking off the tacky apron you bought him for an anniversary. "i guess that happens to everyone."
"but somewhere, i feel like im regetting not trying hard enough to go to culinary school or learn to cook from the neighbourhood street shops, you know? i could have started something within nrc but-"
"you could have done more, sure." leona starts, cutting you off with a sigh you could only describe as gentle, slow, lightly-treading to make sure he understood what you were trying to say fully. "but somethin' i saw when i visited cheka recently... is that we tend to be harder on ourselves despite knowing everything about the situations we were in. for example-" leona turns your around and shuts the gas, letting the stew simmer.
"let's say there's another kid who ends up in nrc like you, magicless and all, but there's no 'grim' they could have. and they did exactly what you did. would you blame them for crimes? for death?" you give him a look, gritting your teeth before answering with a resounding no. "not only were they forced into problems they knew nothing about, they would only be a child. that's your answer, right?"
"then why doesn't it apply to you? you were a child too. doesn't matter how old you actually were, you were younger than now, that's how time fucking works. some things are just always gonna be out of your control, but." leona pauses to take your hands in his and kiss your palms, warm from the stream of the stew. "if you dream of the stars, i'll climb the fucking moon for you to hang 'em there. so why don't you go and show me the bakery you wanna start, hmm?"
honestly this ended up more serious bc a lot of my american friends are panicking about the elections (not gonna blame them tbh it is a mess) but hopefully the leona-kissers in the us enjoy this for a bit!! 424 words tagging: @aivy-saur, @nemisisnemi, @fungifanart, @loser-jpg, @glidiaxoxo @puowei, @vauxxnm
#twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#leona kingscholar#twst leona#leona kingscholar x reader#leona x reader#leona twst#leona twisted wonderland
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Hello omg I love your soft sylus writing a lot !!
May I request please a reader where she loves sylus so much that she tries to express it by words but canât cause she is so shy and never done so and sylus encourage it and tease her
LOVE UR WRITING
You had something to say and it clear as day to Sylus that you were lost within the internal conflict raging on within your mind, weighing out the pros and cons of speaking truthfully of your heart to him. And while it was adorable to watch you squirm and struggle to articulate your thoughts into coherent sentences for the first five minutes, Sylus was soon aware that since your so hesitant in taking the first step, heâll have to take the first step on your behalf by grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you onto his lap.
âSomethings on your mind kitten, itâs eating away at you and I want to know what it is thatâs been consuming you from the inside out.â He says while tightening his grip on your wrist just enough to keep you from being able to pull away, but enough where heâs not bringing you to any harm. You could practically feel your heart in your throat as it righted in on itself, it didnât help that Sylusâs crimson eyes were peering into you in a way that made it seem as though he knew but loved to watch you suffer. âI- I donât-â you stopped before you could even say a full sentence as everything leading up to now had resurfaced in your mind.
You knew you loved Sylus, you have for a while now, but past experiences or close to the sort have made you hesitant in making the first move and into something more meaningful between the two of you. You remember times where you would wonder whether youâd be luckily enough to be blessed with having someone become interested in you, fully investing their time and energy into what you had to say, their eyes remained on you as though they couldnât bring themselves to look at anyone else.
You wanted everything youâve seen in movies or read in books so badly, but even if you did find someone who was interested by you, you tended to pull away before they could get close enough to see the real you and become distant because you didnât fulfill their idea of you that was unrealistic. You couldnât help it for after being on your own for a long while you have grown accustomed to the idea that you might be left to your own company, maybe have a cat and or a dog in the future to make up for the lack of connection. So the idea of sharing your space with anyone else has always made you feel seriously self conscious and unable to articulate your thoughts and feelings like youâd like to.
However soon Sylus came into your life and you felt the same way you did when you were still talking to the person you preciously liked. You felt jittery, scared, excited and eagerly anticipated when youâd next see Sylus again while occasionally on the look out for Mephisto. Yet once you realised what you were feeling, what you were doing, a cold sense of dread filled you and unfortunately Sylusâs actions towards you only made it even harder for you to deny what was happening between you two.
Sylus would go out of his way to hold you by the small of your back in crowded spaces, keeping you close proximity to him, lightly touch your shoulder or stand closer to you then normal and even get in your face to watch your expressions as he did some lighthearted teasing. He was in your personal space and he was everywhere you went, and since it happened so often it came to a point where you were actively seeking out the tall man with crimson eyes and snow/silvery hair without realising it. The implications scared you gravely to the point where recently youâve tried to avoid SylusâŠonly for Luke and Kieran along with Mephisto to find you and inform Sylus before he greeted you in person.
Sylus took your chin in his free hand and moving your head so you were back to staring into his observant eyes rather than to your fiddling fingers. âUse your words kitten, after all Iâve got all the time for you to sort out what you want to say.â He tells you as a smirk played upon his lips as he watched your eyes widened a tad and your breath hitched in your throat. Sylus then taps a finger against your lips softly, letting it linger there for a bit. âSo speak your mind sweetheart, speak it to me and donât be afraid of the consequences,â he then leans forward to rest his head against yours as his eyes looked at your lips briefly before looking back into your eyes, âyou might like what happens afterwards.â He finishes as he caresses your jawline with his fingers.
âDonât.â You tell him sternly, taking Sylus back a little. âDonât say things like that if youâre just going to be giving me false promises and leave after I say it.â You reiterated as you looked at his face as you felt a wave of embarrassment over come you as everything within you screamed to protect yourself.
âWhat makes you think I wonât take what you say to me seriously? Have I given you any doubt to distrust me into thinking I would laugh at your innermost emotions?â Sylus asked and when you didnât respond his smirk faltered as a serious emotions overcame his face and he took a deep breath. âYou know I would never laugh at your emotions right? What do I have to gain in knowing your feelings? For I would never use it against you, not when I know that Iâd loose you and your trust for that matter.â Sylus told you as he lets go of your wrist to hold your face between his palms instead, stroking your cheeks softly that you couldnât help but melt into his touch.
âI love you Sylus.â You admitted softly but clearly enough for him to hear as his thumbs stopped caressing your cheeks. âI always knew I love you but didnât want to say anything incase youâd find another person to call your muse, to call your kitten or sweetheart. Someone who can keep up with you where I canât. I knew I couldnât confess if I knew that this thing between us will never be anything but serious.â You continued as you felt everything come to the surface, easing the weight upon your shoulders greatly as you could feel yourself breath properly once more.
Sylus didnât say anything at first and it worried you, especially with the way he keeps his gaze locked on you as though nothing else mattered in this moment but you. It felt as though he could see right through you and directly into your soul and it made you feel a little exposed and vulnerable. It scared it greatly that your fears were proven right, so much that in the moment you tried to move yourself off of his lap, only for Sylus to pull you in closer to him by your face until you were touching noses and lips were ghosting over the others.
âSylus-â before you could finish your sentence, Sylus was quick to press his lips to yours as he began to weave his lips between yours with a tenderness and passion you werenât expecting after confessing your innermost feelings. He held your face as though it was porcelain as he deeper the kiss, moving a hand to the back of your head to keep you close to him, all the while his other hand rested on your waist to pull you further into him as though you werenât already physically close enough. It was passionate, sweet and warm as you found yourself putting your hands on his shoulders, bunching up the fabric of his expensive shirt under your grip as you melted into the kiss; wanting nothing but to forget everything else except the taste of his lips on yours.
Only for your lungs to burn, forcing you to pull away from him as you catches your breath.
Sylus smirked as he hurried his head into your neck, breathing heavily as his fingers traced your skin over your clothes lovingly while you rested your head against his shoulder, soaking in his warmth and comforting feeling you get from cuddling against his chest. âI told you I wouldnât take you nor your emotions for granted kitten, why would I do that to the person I love?â He says against your neck and you couldnât help but smile goofily at his own confession as your heart fluttered.
You were glad that you finally got your feelings off of your chestâŠeven if it did take a little nudge from your crimson eyed beloved to do so as you spent the rest of the evening in his arms and whispering sweet nothings to one another.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x you#love and deepspace imagine#love and deepspace imagines#lads imagine#lads imagines#lads x reader#lads x you#lads x y/n#lads fluff#love and deepspace fluff#sylus imagine#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus x y/n#sylus fluff
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the dnf club (vol. 4)
lance stroll
tags: smut/pwp, brazil gp '24, mating press, car sex, breast play, hickies & bites, semi-public sex, dirty talk, mentions of children
a/n: thank you for the warm reception for the others in this little series! i'm always open to hearing about what ideas you may have. my inbox is open <3
carlos edition // franco edition // alex edition // nico edition
you know this was defeating for lance. the kind of defeating that left you feeling horrible for your boyfriend. while he wasn't going to win the wdc, it was important to have a good season. and when you watched the red flag be drawn and him hauled back to the paddock. you only knew how to be there for him.
while he seated to cool off, you pressed yourself up against him. the level he was at meant that your breasts were in his face. and while it was an innocent action. lance grabbed your ass when no one was looking. you knew what would happen tonight, to get the anger out from a shitty performance.
you two barely got to the car before lance was all over you. he practically guided you into the backseat. the car was in a far part of the parking lot and with tinted windows. it was a tad cramped back there but you two would make due. especially when lance got his hands on you.
"you really are my number one fan, huh? but i guess you're much more than that. you're everything to me." he pushed up your t-shirt to expose your bra underneath. a black lacy number that made the blood rush south for lance, "anything i want, you give. quite an admirable thing." he got the bra off of you and his mouth on your chest. he tongue grazed across your nipples. he gave them both attention before he started to leave heavy marks across your chest.
he wanted to mark you. he wanted to see pretty bruises on your chest that'll last for days on end. and when they faded, he would just add more. he felt the disappointment of such a horrible loss. he didn't even get a place in the race, he couldn't complete it. and it made emotion swirl in his gut as he rubbed your thigh. soon enough you got your jeans off and your panties. you were left naked in the backseat with your lover at the track.
"you look prettier with my marks." he said as he pressed one of the bruises on your collarbone, "the kind of pretty that makes me go crazy. thank you, thank you." he groaned, "for letting me take out all the anger."
you cupped his face and looked into his dark eyes, you said to him, "you'd never actually hurt me, lance. so i'm not worried." then kissed him square on the mouth. you helped him out of his jeans and his aston martin t-shirt. you were pressed into the back corner of the backseat with your taller boyfriend crowded in your space. he took you by the legs and pressed them into your chest.
it allowed him to hit your pussy at just the right area, exposed in the air of the car. slowly the windows started to fog up as he sank into you. his cock really did hit every right place inside of you. the blunt head rubbed up against your g-spot as he started to move his hips up against your ass.
and then like butter over popcorn, the anger melted off of his shoulders. he groaned as he rutted against you. while it wasn't the more comfortable position, it was enough to get the two of you going. you felt the fire in your gut as he moved against you.
"fuck, baby." he said as he worked his hips against you, "you feel like a dream under me." his words were tense as pleasure combed through his body. there was something about you that just got him riled up. even on his worst days, he still had you. he had all of you. he allowed himself to bask in what made you amazing and fuck you until he got his fill. he could feel the pleasure on his tongue and seep into his blood.
you whined, "please, lance. we have to be quiet." then felt him hit just the right spots that made you tense up and moan. your bruised nipples got hard and the additional feeling made the pleasure run faster through you.
the air of the car got warm as the two of you moved together. the sex was hot and with your knees to your chest the pleasure only got more intense.
"next year.' you panted, "it'll go great. you'll get them next time." you moaned as lance continued to thrust up against you in just the right way. you felt the hammer in your chest as he continued to fuck you with heavy thrusts.
"it will." he said, "and then we'll celebrate the victory. you, me and a nice hotel bed. maybe some champagne, maybe i'll even tie you up." he chuckled, "i bet you'd love that. if i took my belt and put it around those pretty wrists."
you clenched around him and he got his answer. he continued to fuck you, bully the blunt head of his cock against your most softest areas. he knew exactly how to make you feel good. let the dirty words come off his tongue. you whined and he chuckled lowly.
"ah, i bet you'd love that. even if i lost next year. you'd still let me mark up your little body. let me ruin that sweet fucking cunt." he groaned, "fuck, you feel amazing. you know i'd give you anything you needed or wanted. everything i have is yours. and everything you have in mine." he shuddered with a heavy want as he continued to fuck you achy cunt.
the sounds of sex filled the car, and the scent of sweat paired with it. the car rocked a little as he moved and you tried to meet his thrusts. his weight pressed on you as he had you in a mating press. your pussy exposed in the low light coming from the parking garage. the sight of you under him was beautiful. you were so perfect for him, you'd happily give yourself over to him at any chance. let him use that sweet cunt for stress relief.
"fuck, lance." you moaned as the pace was picked up. you knew you weren't going to last much longer. the pleasure was a thick throb in your head as he fucked you. his lips captured any skin he could find. trailed them across your cheeks and jaw. he even laid a small hickey on the curve of your jawbone. which made you grow even more wet.
he gave a few more thrusts because he slammed his entire length into your achy cunt and finished inside of you. but he wasn't going to leave you without pleasure. he continued to rut up against you. he could feel the fire in his gut as he moved against you. your noises got a bit ore higher pitched as you felt the slam of pleasure inside of your needy core.
you whimpered and whined as he continued to rut up against you. he fucked you through your orgasm, and even a second orgasm for himself. he made sure that not a drop was wasted as he slowed to a stop. he pulled out and when your hips dropped, a bit of his cum got onto the leather of the seated.
you both panted heavily. lance eyed your naked body. you looked at him and his dark eyes soon lingered on you. he pulled you in for another heated kiss and you knew this wasn't going to be the only round tonight. you just hoped that the rest of them would be somewhere a little more comfortable.
-
you watched lance pull into second place at the 2025 brazil grand prix. you stood with the rest of the team and when he crossed the finish line, everyone cheered. and you looked to the baby in your arms.
he was sound asleep despite his father's near victory. your little escapade in the backseat of the car led to the eventually birth of your son three months ago. he was asleep in your arm, ears covered with noise cancelling headphones while lance was having a stellar season.
"he did it, daddy got podium." you whispered to your son.
you kissed the baby on his round little face and heard lance over the radio. you knew this year would be better, and that was becoming fact. <3
#bunny writes#the dnf club#lance stroll x you#lance stroll x y/n#lance stroll smut#lance stroll x reader#lance stroll#ls18 smut#ls18 x reader#ls18#formula 1#formula one smut#formula one imagine#reader insert#f1 smut#formula one fanfiction#f1 x reader
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