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lovelessrage · 9 months ago

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Loveless: A Loveless Review

[Plain Text: Loveless: A Loveless Review]

Trigger Warnings For: Discussion of sex, sex negativity, platonormativity, arophobic tropes, and anti-loveless rhetoric

Disclaimer/Disclosure: I couldn’t finish this book. This will factor heavily into the review, as it has to do with how some scenes, details, and the writing quality were just very hard to sit with and continue. I got about 50% through, so I didn’t just skim pages and get back to you on it.

You might guess I don’t think of this book highly if I had to put it down and stop reading. This would be correct. However, I have more in depth thoughts than that. If you like this book and don’t want to read negative things about it, that's fine, but I implore you to read it anyway. A lot of the problems in this book are present in a lot of creations I see and can be a valuable teaching lesson; loveless people aren’t out to ruin your fun because biases got questioned.

Alright. Enough disclaimers. Review under the cut.

The Bingo Card: Surprisingly, Not A Strikeout

People who have been following me for a while may remember I mentioned I went into reading this book with a bingo card in hand: Loveless and Tired Bingo, a sheet made by yours truly. I did not get Bingo with this book! I did, however, fill 17 spaces out of 25; it just didn’t happen to line up, not because the book passed with flying colors. We’ll return to the Bingo Card at the end of this post to see what it looked like. But, letting you know, that’s a rate of 68% of all squares ticked on Loveless and Tired Bingo. Not looking so hot.

Let’s start with the meat of the post so nobody has to read it all if they just wanted my representation opinions. Other things like writing will be shuffled down for your convenience.

Edit: Past Scowl is a liar and a fraud and did not have maims glasses on, and misread the bingo card! I did get Bingo. Oops. Point still stands because the data is the same, I just gave this book a sliver more credit than it deserved for not getting one.

Platonormativity, Envy, and The Loneliness Whirlpool

If this book had a full course meal, normativity would ironically be a key ingredient in every plate on the menu. Loveless has a platonormativity problem that confronts you from page 1, more realistically before that; the blurb!

[Text ID: From the marvelous author of Heartstopper comes an exceptional YA novel about discovering that it's okay if you don't have sexual or romantic feelings for anyone... since there are plenty of other ways to find love and connection. /End ID]

I promise not all my complaints will be raving about one sentence, but this kinda encapsulates the entirety of my problem with Loveless: Georgia Warr is not supported in her own novel. Loveless is a deeply insecure book that many can relate to, but, really… does it alleviate that insecurity, or just cover it up? There’s an unspoken “but” to every part of Loveless’ philosophy about aspec people [especially aroaces], where they must have platonic love to make them whole, to “fix” and “redeem” their lacking attractions. This has always bothered me, and it’s not an uncommon opinion in the community, unfortunately.

Aroaces aren’t allowed to simply “be” – they must be more. They must be so platonically invested you forget they’re aroace, because they have all this other type of love to give the world. It’s reflective of a view on a community sourced from hurt and exclusion, of someone trying to rebuild their worth on a new forefront. It doesn’t make it less of what it is, though: it’s a “yes they’re valid, but” statement that serves as the backbone for far too many aspec-focused media.

Georgia is a deeply unsure character, and there’s nothing wrong with her being this way; she’s a fictional character made to represent a journey of acceptance, not a real person with the ability to inflict harm on other real people. She does reflect the author’s biases in many ways and many points on the same token, though, acting as a mouthpiece. This often comes in Georgia’s insistence her friendships are simply stronger than other relationship types, as well as her reflexive tendencies to judge the friendless.

One of my many, many hurdles in this book had to do with Rooney [someone save her and half the cast from this novel, please], when the group realizes she’s only a socialite, not really a long-term relationship holder, and the entire room devolves into silent judgment. Georgia does not defend her newfound friend, simply noting she thought differently of her. What about Rooney not having many friends changes her outgoing personality? It doesn’t. It’s simply the fact that Rooney being friendless makes her weird, as with many things Rooney is unfairly demonized for in this novel.

The emphasis on friends doesn’t end here, and persists through the entire novel, practically. It is the main focus, when it isn’t talking about Georgia’s disinterests, and her friend circle is very important to her. All of this is fine. What isn’t fine is the expectation and casual enforcement of friendship being all you have, so you must seize it; this book, even though I wouldn’t recommend it, is often given as The Book on being aroace, but I wouldn’t agree [you’re free to tell me I can’t have an opinion on that if I’m not aroace, but at least read on before deciding anything, alright, official hear me out warning]. One, not all aroaces are alloplatonic, and two, this:

Why Is This Book Written Like A Workplace Safety Seminar

It’s a very… cookie-cutter way to be aroace, and cookie cutter aroaces exist in real life! The rep should exist, no doubt, and shouldn’t be taken away from anyone. It’s not my problem per se that the book is semi-stereotypical. What my problem is has to do with something I see a lot.

The book falls into many of the pitfalls of what I’m dubbing “the pamphlet effect”: when a novel, show, etc. continuously needs to halt the plot to remind the audience this character is different, and explains this to you in a way that resembles an educational pamphlet at a pride event. Georgia Warr feels like an example given to explain a concept more than a person, and I feel bad for her because of how little this book engages with her actual character when it shines through. I understand the book is primarily centered on her journey through the spectrum, but very little is given to make Georgia’s experience unique outside of one scene off the top of my head. Her interests, hobbies, and unique feelings only seem to play a role when it comes time to be an author mouthpiece on slutshaming for fun and sport; only one scene, the forced kiss with Jason when rehearsing the play, really blends her life experiences with her aroace experiences.

Georgia feels designed to be an everywoman, and it was very disappointing to say the least. Very little of the book actually feels like I’m with her, or learning about her unique take on being aroace as a theatre fan or young adult figuring things out; it just feels like Georgia [and the reader] are being dragged through the Cliff’s Notes version of what it is to discover being aroace, rather than a look at how a character like this might feel differently than others on a fuller, whole scale. She’s a hole that can fit most shapes into it, which makes her broadly relatable, but not as fun or engaging to read about if you don’t fit precisely in the demographic Georgia is for; even if you do, is there much to engage with beyond “I’m like that too!”?

This isn’t just a Georgia problem, either, as many, many characters in this book are walking stereotypes or very flat. But, we’ll get into that later [if you want to get into it now, skip to Writing Problems, Oh My!].

The Fingering In The Room: Loveless’ Weird Ideas About Sex

Alright, if you’re sex repulsed and braved the storm to get some insight, this next paragraph is just complete confusion about this book’s sex scenes and talking about some of the details within. If you want to skip that, skip the next paragraph.

Why is everybody fingering each other? Fingering is fine and it feels good, but it is basically the only sexual act this book knows outside of making out with tongue. Someone having sex in Loveless? They better have clipped their nails because at least two are going in. It feels like a point of research that was skipped because it was unimportant, which. Pretty much, yes. But when you’re someone who pays very close attention to sex scenes because you’re of the opinion they can have artistic value, as well as conveying the author’s views on sexuality, I come away with “is fingering what Oseman thinks young adults do?”. Anyways. Something I noticed.

[Okay sex repulsed people, you’re good. No in depth descriptions beyond this point, just the word “sex”.]

I should’ve titled this section “In Defense of Rooney Bach” because oh this poor girl. Oh you are just there to be gawked at.

First off, let’s begin in a good place: this book always has to clarify it isn’t slutshaming its characters, followed by slutshaming its characters. Rooney is, for the uninitiated, very sexually active. Georgia’s envy often leads to a judgemental, close minded view of Rooney that often pins her sex life as “too much” – something many sexually active women get villainized for. It strikes me immediately how Rooney is constantly picked on for her sexuality as a woman in ways no male characters who aren’t asexual either are treated. None of the men she flirts with or spends time with are reprimanded or “held to account” by the book; Rooney alone is breaking the rules. Rooney’s descriptions are often bookended with a disclaimer that she isn’t being called a slut, she’s just like one, which… This is slutshaming. You can’t just say you aren’t doing it to not be doing it.

Rooney is also a victim of a very arophobic trope, and one that is also misogynistic: the Broken Woman. Why is Rooney sexually active? A rough breakup that broke her heart and makes her fear intimacy on account of potentially being wrong again. Sure, sex feels good, but explicit focus is made on the fact she is only not engaging with romance because she tried and it didn’t work. For a few chapters, admittedly I was hoping for a book where an aroace and aroallo can get past some differences and expand each other's worldviews; what I got was Georgia thinking pretty poorly of Rooney through unaddressed envy and sex negativity, and Rooney being made to only like hookups because she’s messed up. Because of course a woman could only enjoy that if she had a negative experience that forced her on the path!

Also, another scene I didn’t like was Georgia and Pip watching Rooney have sex while she is completely unaware of their presence? Jason leaves as soon as he notices, but the two of them watch before Pip makes a comment on how disgusting it is and Georgia agrees. I’m shocked at how little this is brought up as being violating or creepy.

If it was a better book, I would have expected it to result in some kind of furthered conversation about boundaries; it could've been a place for Georgia to start establishing what she likes and dislikes, starting with Rooney preferably keeping her out of her sex life when she’s able. Instead, this event gets brought up solely for jokes, and for a motivation for Pip to start hating Rooney, despite her insistence it wasn't because of the hookup and she isn’t slutshaming. Always a great sign when that needs to be clarified. This is a PSA for everyone: you should not need to clarify you aren’t trying to slutshame. If you feel the need to do so, you are probably being sex negative.

This book isn’t very fond of sexually active people, nor is it kind to characters that are. I can understand why being asexual and sex repulsed is representation people would want, but I also think there’s many, many ways to write it without making it an exercise in shame.

Ironically Kinda Arophobic In Some Parts

This is a short section of a thing I noticed, hated, and had as a contributing factor for my ending early: this book loves aphobic tropes. There’s already the trope against aroallos of not needing romance because of being broken into only liking sex, but also the problem with Pip and Rooney.

I’m a lesbian, for clarification, and I’m saying from experience that I hate the archetype of the angry, jealous lesbian. It’s everywhere. It’s in this book. Pip, upon even the idea of being rejected, starts berating and demeaning the girl who turned her down, even if she was only turned down in her head. The book passes it off as a lighthearted, funny story that Pip got so mad at an ex-crush she was suspended for throwing an apple at their head. Why do I bring this up?

Is it not ringing any bells that this is arophobic? That a character so hostile to romantic rejection is treated as a joke? Many, many aros, and queer people in general, have experienced violence for turning down someone. It’s a serious issue for aros and a real fear in rejecting someone. I found it incredibly hard to read and sit through as everybody passes off Pip’s tendencies to do this to the women that reject her as a silly, funny Pip moment and not a major issue for the aspec community. I don’t care if it’s enemies to lovers, because it doesn’t really feel good to read at all. The only tension is built off the back of something I’ve experienced in real life and many others have as well.

Lovelessness: The Insecurity Unaddressed

This book, despite its title, is obviously about a loving character. Many people might not see this as a problem: first off, loveless doesn’t always mean the same thing, and second, many aroaces express feeling loveless when coming to terms with their identity. Here’s my rebuttal.

One: Georgia fits no definitions of the label. She subscribes to none of the beliefs. She loves her friends actively and sees their relationship as more than romance or sex, as something greater to her.

Second, this is because anti-loveless rhetoric is everywhere and all over this book. Not once is it suggested Georgia could live as loveless, or truly be without love. In the end, she is surrounded by it, simply learning to accept friendship instead. The way her insecurity isn’t met with “you’re complete as you are”, and instead with “you can still be complete if you simply fill the void with friends”, is anti-loveless. Nobody is allowed to be whole on their own without a subplot where their doubts are reinforced or they’re explicitly made to be broken inside.

This is shockingly common, and always sad every time I see it. Many aspects fear being loveless, as if it is a curse or blight they must cleanse. This book is one example out of many, but it doesn’t make it less hurtful when a book that runs against everything your community stands for [self-acceptance and the optionality of love] bears your name regardless. It is a book for people who are afraid of loneliness, and it answers their insecurities with “you’re right. You do need other people. You just need to find a way to still find and have a life partner!”. This is damaging to loveless people, especially those questioning an aplatonic identity.

Again, it’s not unique to Loveless. But, it’s reflective of a broader issue of aplatonics who may be seeking community constantly being presented with “you ARE broken, but friendship can fix you!”, a “solution” many can’t use, and often leads to even more self-hatred.

That’s about it from the aspec side of things. If you got this far, congrats! The rest is opinions on the writing, and the bingo card finale. You can drop off here if that’s all you came for.

Writing Problems, Oh My!

This is veering into heavy personal opinion, so, I will remind you: I don’t usually like YA, but YA can be a very good genre! I do not think this book is a good representation of what good YA looks like.

The writing quality is one of the hardest things to get past, because of a major problem I observed: Oseman is better at comics. This isn’t so much a vilification as a recommendation that it would’ve been much better suited for a different type of media. This kind of “media dysphoria” is present in many of the ways the book operates: many scenes would flow perfectly well in a visual piece. Georgia’s inner monologue has a tendency to jump suddenly into scenes and interrupt the action in a way that would be perfectly natural as a narration bubble put over a drawing of the scene around her. There are entire pages of just… text messages that would be much better suited to a visual medium where you could make these dialogue bits look much more interesting through different shots, or drawing what the background would look like on a screen [The Girl from the Sea does this well, for example].

There’s also the fact I cannot place in my mind if I'm too old for this novel. A lot of the jokes boil down to “hah! Sex!” in a way that instantly alienates me from the writing. The jokes can be pretty juvenile and repetitive, and serve to be the equivalent of a comedian saying “eh? Get it? That was a joke.” six times.

This isn’t to mention the fact many of these characters are complete cardboard. Sorry. Jason does not need to exist. When he appears in a scene, he is ignored or completely leaves it on his own. He really only serves to drive Georgia’s character forward, rather than have one of his own. I found myself forgetting he was present in a scene at all until he spoke again and reminded me of his existence. The book would practically be unchanged if Georgia temporarily dated Pip and Jason was never a factor, plus or minus the Shakespeare Soc plot.

Many interesting characters suffer from severe Pamphlet Effect syndrome. Most of the girls do. In a better novel, they would be more in depth, but Loveless doesn’t really afford them this luxury. I need to take the girls very far away from this novel, okay. I need someone to write a version of Loveless where they have personalities. There’s crumbs there. Please, someone make a loaf of bread out of it. They deserve it.

Another thing, but minor: the breakneck pacing at some points followed by slow slogs of not a lot happening contributes to the reading issues. You may thing something would be dwelled on, just for it to go flying away into the sunset as 3 more things happen and then one problem lasts for 2 chapters. I found it very hard to catch up with Loveless, while other parts I felt like I was constantly waiting for it to catch up with me instead.

The Final Frontier: The Bingo Card Returns

And without further ado, the Loveless and Tired Bingo Card for Loveless by Alice Oseman! Completed with help from other readers braver than I.

[Image ID: A bingo card made from a basic template. It has no title, and all the text is black on a white background. Some squares are marked with a blue X, while others are marked with a red scribble. The marked squares are: “Not prioritizing friendship treated as freak behaviour”, “Jab at loveless sex thrown in”, “Something about not being like THOSE people”, “Universal type of love is laid on thick”, “The answer to all your problems is finding some pals”, “Found family ending”, “Platonic-romantic binary”, “Love still treated as universal [free]”, “Friendship is more wholesome or pure”, “Amatonormativity BAD [platonormativity is my bestie]”, “Platonic love being more powerful or sumn”, “You still love your friends though, right?”, “Friendship saves the day”, “Still thinks you need dedicated people to survive”, “Being alone treated as worst thing in the world”, and “Friendships are more stable than partnerships anyways”. The unmarked, blank squares are: “Something about "players" and pickup artists where no commitment is villainized”, “Character fears being loveless and is kinda aplphobic about it”, “Aspec double standards [one is normal, one is weird]”, “You still love your FAMILY, right???”, “QPRs mentioned by no nuance given to their diversity”, “Friendship forced upon a character against their will”, “Comment about some people being inhuman gets brushed past”, and “Simply prioritise your family instead!!” /End ID]

Would I recommend this book? Uh. No! Well. Yes, but not as a good book for aspecs. I’d recommend it solely to read it yourself and form your own opinions. But, no, I would not recommend it to any aspecs I know, especially not loveless ones, aplatonic ones, aroallos, or if they're an aroace looking for support.

Ah, Loveless, how you vexx me. Never again. See you in the next, much shorter post.

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kuiperblog · 2 months ago

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Book Review: I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom

I have finished reading I'm Starting to Worry About this Black Box of Doom by Jason Pargin.

The premise of this book is simple, and rather than trying to summarize it myself, I will give you the author's blurb:

One day, a woman you've never met before offers you $100,000 in cash to drive her across the country—half now, half when you arrive. It’s a 2,600-mile trip, but there's a catch. She has a large, locked black box, big enough for someone to crawl inside. You're not allowed to look inside the box or even ask questions about it. She insists you leave behind all devices that can be tracked—no phone, no laptop, no credit cards, no GPS. You'll be paying with cash and navigating with a paper map the entire way. And finally, you can't tell anyone where you're going. There's no time to think; she says you must leave now. You hesitate, and she doubles the offer. Would you do it? Maybe, if you're brave or desperate enough. And besides, you think, what’s the worst that could happen?

I read it. I enjoyed it! I think it's my favorite Jason Pargin novel. One of the things that I have always liked about his novels are the fun action set pieces, and the way he builds tension throughout a scene, and across an entire book. He delivers on that here, and I am incredibly impressed with how he managed to stick the landing on this one: near the end of the book, I found myself thinking, "there's no way that this could have a climax that manages to surprise me without being a total letdown," but he proved me wrong: the big climax was completely unexpected, yet expertly "earned" by all the little bits that built up to it. It really all came together in the end in a way that far exceeded my expectations.

Jason writes humorous books, or so I've been told. I enjoy his Zoey Ashe books, and they are fun, but I've never found them to be particularly "funny." The Zoey Ashe series presents lots of absurd situations that entertained me, but none that really tickled my funny bone. However, Black Box of Doom made me laugh out loud multiple times. Maybe it's the fact that, unlike Zoey Ashe (which is science fiction), Black Box of Doom is set in "our world" in a way that feels incredibly true to life. And it feels like "our world" in a way that a lot of "real world" stories don't, largely thanks to the specificity.

Rendering the world we live in with high specificity is risky, because it's the sort of thing that is prone to "age rapidly," but I think that in 10 years, people will look back on this as an interesting period piece about 2020's culture. When Jason Pargin writes about TikTok, and Reddit, and Twitch, and the way the characters in his book engage with these platforms, you get a sense that he understands them deeply, and he is more interested in rendering them in high fidelity than he is in making a value judgment about them, or trying to poke fun at them. And yet, because he understands them so deeply, he also understands all of the things about them that are deeply funny and absurd, and so he can render those parts to great humorous effect without ever having to exaggerate. The moments of absurdity that manage to be pointed without feeling artificially "heightened" are some of the funniest, and give the book a very Dave Barry-esque quality.

Pargin ends the book with an afterward about karma how does not exist in this universe: this is a book where bad things can happen to people who behave well, and good things can happen to people who behave poorly. That much seems obvious enough that it seems unnecessary to explain it in a disclaimer, but Pargin wishes to disclaim something more specific: he wants us to know that if good things happen to a character, that is not a case of the author "rewarding" the character for being "right," nor are the bad things that happen to other characters in a case of Pargin "punishing" them for being "wrong."

Before editing this post, I wrote the previous paragraph about how "sometimes good things happen to bad people, and sometimes bad things happen to good people." But I rewrote those sentences, because I think that Pargin would reject the essentialist framing of "good person" vs "bad person." Everyone you know has done bad things at some point in their lives, and everyone you know has good qualities that might cause you to like them in certain contexts. Can anyone really make a judgment about whether that makes them a "good person" or "bad person?" If you go through someone's life looking for the one piece of evidence that will allow you to render a "good person or bad person" view of them, you will end up with a pretty low-fidelity picture of who they are, and a pretty low-fidelity picture of how the world works. All of the characters in this book do things that you probably don't approve of. Some of those things might even make you dislike them. But all of the characters in this book are fun to spend time with.

There are two interesting tricks that Jason Pargin pulls in Black Box of Doom that played with my expectations. One of which comes near the beginning, and one of which comes near the middle. Anyway, this is the part of the review where I get into descriptions that are specific enough to feel like spoilers.

First, the part that you learn as you read the first chapter:

Part of what Pargin does with his blurb is invite you to consider: what kind of man would be brave or desperate enough to accept someone offering $100,000 in cash to transport a mysterious black box across the country with no phone or GPS? What kind of hardened badass would accept a deal that is obviously pulling him into a world full of legally-questionable shenanigans and people who are obviously up to no good, with the confidence that he'd be able to handle himself in that hardscrabble world and come out alive?

And the answer is that the main character is none of those things. He's not brave; he's cowardly. He's not strong; he's weak. In fact, that's how he gets roped into this situation: he's anxiety-ridden. He's really bad with confrontation; he doesn't know how to handle conflict. And that is why he essentially allows himself to get bullied into participating in this insane errand: he doesn't know how to put his foot down and say "no." He tries to take the path of least resistance, basically procrastinating on the task of saying "I'm sorry, I can't help you," thinking "maybe if I go along with this, there will be a better opportunity for me to say no later," and of course once the ball gets rolling he can't stop it.

So, in a sense, the main character is kind of the opposite of who you think he would be based on the elevator pitch, and it's funny, and yet true-to-life, and makes for a story full of ways to put that socially-anxious guy into all sorts of crazy situations that he things are way beyond his capacity. And yet, of course, he deals with all of them, as best he can, because he must, and that's what most of life is.

Then there's something we find out partway through the story, closer to around the middle of the book.

You see, Jason Pargin has done yet another head fake with the main character, leading us to think one way before revealing something that feels almost the opposite. There is a real sense in which this story starts off with a poor put-upon guy who is roped into traveling across the country with a mysterious woman. You spend a good portion of the early part of the book fearing for his safety. He's here, but he doesn't particularly want to be here, and it's deeply unfortunate that he's stuck with the woman who roped him into this tense and chaotic mess.

But this is a road trip novel, and as the story goes on, you get a better sense of who these characters are, the cowardly driver, and the woman who hired him. You see more and more glimpses of the sort of people they are as they confront various situations. And, over time, you shift from feeling like he's deeply unfortunate to be stuck here with her (and gosh I'm terrified of what might happen to him if things go wrong), to starting to think about how deeply unfortunate she is to be stuck with him (and gosh I'm terrified of what might happen to her if things go wrong).

Just in the same way the blurb book invites us to think, "what kind of brave or desperate person would accept this insane business proposition," we're also left to contemplate, "what kind of brave, desperate person would offer this kind of insane business proposition?" What kind of woman would find herself in a situation where she was hailing a Lyft, and then ambushing the driver to tell him that she was ready to pay him six figures, in cash, to drive her and a box to the other end of the country?

That is one of many questions that is answered by the text of the book. I enjoyed discovering the answer, and many of the other answers we encounter along the way.

#jason pargin #books #book review #i'm starting to worry about this black box of doom

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aroaceoutinspace · 2 years ago

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Book Review: Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko

Stars: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

First read this book two years ago but decided to give it a reread and thought I'd share my love for it with you all!

Overview

If you like....

Curses/promises/bargins

Mysterious parents

Half human protagonists

Important legacies

Self-sacrifice

Memory based powers

Beautiful culture

Found family

Ace rep!!!!!!!!!!

Unique magic systems

Magical politics

Corruption

Hidden history

Then this book is for you!

Blurb

'Tarisai has always longed for the warmth of a family. She was raised in isolation by a mysterious, often absent mother known only as The Lady.

'The Lady sends her to the capital of the global empire of Aritsar to compete with other children to be chosen as one of the Crown Prince's Council of Eleven. If she's picked, she'll be joined with the other Council members through the Ray, a bond deeper than blood. That closeness is irresistible to Tarisai, who has always wanted to belong somewhere. But The Lady has other ideas, including a magical wish that Tarisai is compelled to obey: kill the Crown Prince once she gains his trust.

'Tarisai won't stand by and become someone's pawn - but is she strong enough to choose a different path for herself?'

Overview

As you have probably guessed from the 5 stars, I have no complaints. Such a unique and vivid story, and a beautiful twist that was set up so well yet still managed to be surprising.

I also love how one of my least favourite tropes managed to be avoided by adding representation ( if you've read it you'll know what I mean.) It's proof that writers don't have to follow the same clichés to make an effective plot!

Also look at this map. I can't resist fantasy book maps. I never use them, but still feel disappointed in their absence.

I love it

First Line

'I shouldn't have been surprised that faries exist.'

'Only one thing is more powerful than a wish, and that is a purpose'

(Found art on pinterest, full credit to artist)

(Found artist, credit to @souldagger )

'Leadership isn't good or evil. It's what you choose to do with it.'

#booklr #bookworm life #raybearer #jordan ifueko #book reviews #my book reviews #tarisai #redemptor #fantasy books #best fantasy books #fantasy book reviews #fantasy book recs #book reccomendation #ace #my favourite books #fantasy booklr #booklr blogs

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scumtrout · 10 months ago

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Thing is, though, I have no idea if he's good enough at anything apart from perhaps writing, because the proof is in the pudding for that. (And, granted, when it comes to writing, 'good' is a very subjectibe term; 'popular' and 'widely-sold' might be better metrics. Fifty Shades is a popular and widely-sold novel but I still don't have any time for it.)

I don't know what he's actually like as a parent, manager, or law student. The context in which he references these things makes me feel like I'm meant to be impressed by them, e.g. he's giving me little tells that are meant to make me think 'this guy knows his stuff in multiple domains'. Unfortunately for him, this then makes a little red flag pop up in my brain because… I am assessing this guy on his ability to write a book on writing, and I don't particularly care if he's a parent or law student, unless he also explains how this makes him a better writer. I would care if the blurb said something like, '[author] is a regular contributor of [popular writing magazine] and he is the author of [award-winning novel]', but the stuff about him being a law student is like… Okay? It's a bit like something a guy would say while trying to chat you up. It feels like the writer is impling I should be impressed, which then makes me feel like I'm being subjected to a teeny tiny manipulation attempt, which then makes me feel skeptical.

It's entirely possible that he is very competent in all of those domains. I just think that the probability of someone being consistently competent in all of those domains drops after a certain point, because there are a finite number of hours in the day. And I have a little rule in my brain that says 'if someone makes claims of being competent in multiple domains, then you need evidence of this - e.g. qualifications, eyewitness accounts, personal observations - before you belive them'. My mind likely works this way because it's one of those areas where it seems beneficial to err on the side of caution; people tend to have a lot to gain by hyping their own competence, whereas actual competence tends to speak for itself (e.g. it's easy to learn that this guy CAN write and market a lot of books, so the other info included in his description seems… not very relevant unless he thinks it should impress people).

Funnily enough, he would've seemed more credible to me if the blurb had just said '[author]… writes 6-8 novels a year', and not included '[author]… is a manager at a Fortune 100 company and law student'. It would've worked MUCH better on me if it said, 'he writes 6-8 novels a year and last year his books sold [N] copies'. There are still ways for someone to massage their writing stats (his books sold [N] copies? Compared to what? I'm naive enough that I'd be susceptible to any big number!), but at least it'd feel more relevant instead of giving a small laundry list of stuff that probabily impresses people at parties.

Granted, I'd bet that the book's blurb is unlikely to be a 'problem' that deter people from reading the book, despite my personal aversion to it. If I was just looking for a book on writing, I'd be okay with it. But instead my conditions are 'I'm looking for a book on writing AND I want a book that's unlikely to be a reshash of things other people have said, churned out as part of someone's side-hustle' and... eeehhh I'm getting churn vibes from this guy. It doesn't help that I found his book through Everand, and a good chunk of Everand's catalogue consists of works that feel like a rehash of something else.

Everand seems to have a pretty big catalogue covered by its monthly subscription fee, and I do feel like this catalogue has been padded with stuff that's not technically bad but still stuff I wouldn't buy if it was a one-off purchase. (It's telling that despite having an Everand subscription, I've still kept my Audible subscription; when I use an Audible credit, I'll feel confident that I'll enjoy the book I've chosen, whereas whenever I find a book I enjoy on Everand, it's, erm, a pleasant surprise.)

Man I read the above and unfortunately my instinctive reaction was 'there's no way I'm reading any of these guy's novels unless people stress to me that they're actually good'.

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nervousgardenerkid · 2 years ago

Text

Your beauty never ever scared me

a/n: HEYYY GUYSSS🥳it's been a hot ass second since i've posted something but i've been rly busy :( it doesn't help that my class is an ENGLISH class so i'm always writing but it's not what i want to write 💔 i hope u guys enjoy this little blurb! credit to the gif owner! <3

warnings: none really? the reader's arm gets grabbed, people call eddie names and push him, reader throws a punch, eddie talks bad about himself,,,that's pretty much it🫡

Eddie hasn't been the same since the upside down. You don't blame him, you know better than anyone else how traumatic it is. Especially when you've been on the verge of dying. You were thankful government officials cleared his name but the town never stopped calling him names. Murderer, monster, freak. He's been called every name in the book, yet this feels different now. It's like he believes them this time.

You watch him from the small picnic table with worried eyes as he jokes around with Dustin, he seems fine, normal even, but you know Eddie well enough to know he's not.

“He's not going to disappear, you know.”

You turn to look at Steve and let out a breathy laugh.

“I know. I just…I worry.” you say while turning your attention back to him.

“He hasn't been the same. He's distant.”

Steve lets out a hum. “You were too at one point.”

He was right, and you hate that he was. He had every right to distance himself, but you just want him to know that you're here for him.

“This is different. He won't even let me touch him.”

“Time heals all wounds y/n. Just give him time.”

You let out a sigh, your eyes never leaving Eddie. You smile softly at Eddie when you see him and Dustin making their way to the table you and Steve were sitting at. He takes a seat next to you, your legs barely touching and you tune out whatever Dustin is telling Steve.

“Hi, baby,” you mumble out trying your best not to lean into him.

He gives you a small smile and kisses your cheek.

“You okay?”

He sits for a minute before he nods his head.

“Yeah, think I'm just hungry or something.”

His hand brushes against yours and it's so hard trying not to find his hand but Eddie hasn't held your hand since the upside down. So you keep still and nod your head.

“Okay, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, only if you are.”

You both say your goodbyes to Steve and Dustin, Steve makes sure to tell you again to give Eddie time when he hugs you. You and Eddie make your way to your car in silence and you let out a sigh when you start up the car.

“Where are we eating today Munson?”

You've been to this diner before. It used to be Eddie's favorite but you soon found yourselves eating there less and less before you both stopped going. The waitress smiled when she saw you two walk in, already sitting you two at your favorite booth and putting in your usual orders. Once the food was at the table Eddie was quick to dig in, he usually let his guard down when he was eating but you had your guard up. Your eyes scan the almost empty diner making sure no one is whispering under their breath or walking up to you two.

“Hey, your food is gonna get cold.”

You glance down at your food and give him an awkward smile.

“Sorry, I guess I'm not hungry.” you trail off, your eyes landing on a group of teens walking in.

Eddie stuffs some fries in his mouth.

“Are you sure? We can just go home.”

You swear you're trying to pay attention to him, you really are but you can't ignore the gut feeling you're having right now. You grab your car keys and slide them over to Eddie.

“When you're done go to the car, okay?”

You call the waitress over and hand her a generous tip mumbling how a mess might be made later. Eddie doesn't have time to question you before he has a vanilla milkshake poured over his head.

“Oops! Sorry, freak.”

Silence fell over the small diner except for the laughing that came from the kids. Your eyes lock on Eddie and you see him frozen to his spot. He's had his fair share of bullying but this hit differently.

“Go to the car,” you whisper while standing up from the booth. Eddie slowly nods his head and gets up.

“Woah, did I say the freak could leave?” one of the teens questioned while pushing Eddie. Eddie stumbles into you murmuring apologies about getting the shake all over you but you don’t care.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” you shout at the group of teens.

“We're protecting you! He's a murderer you know, just trying to make sure another pretty girl doesn't fall into the wrong hands.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes when they bring up Chrissy.

“Fuck off.” You grabbed Eddie's hand and got ready to walk out when you felt someone grab onto your arm.

“Hey, I'm trying to save you bitch-”

You're not usually a fighter. The only time you've fought is when it came to the monsters from the upside down, and that one girl in elementary school when she took your toy. Next thing you know your fist is connecting to the guy's cheek and you're sprinting out of the diner. You're quick to try and grab the keys from Eddie's hands but he stops you.

“Easy there slugger, I'll drive us.”

You shake your head ready to argue that you can drive but when you see the group of teens run out of the diner you look at him and nod your head. A sigh of relief leaves your lips when Eddie manages to speed off before they could get to your car. The drive was silent as you opened and closed your bruised fist, biting down on your lip when you felt pain fall over your knuckles.

“Is your hand okay?”

You nod your head not looking away from your fist.

“Do you wanna go home?”

“No.”

“Okay. Do you wanna head back to my trailer?”

You look over at Eddie and then out of the window.

“Let's get out of here.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hawkins. I have our runaway bags in my trunk. We can go a couple of towns over and forget Hawkins, just for a night.”

As soon as the words left your mouth, Eddie was taking a route to get out of town.

“What about your parents?”

“I'll call them. I just wanna get out, please.”

You're leaning against the counter smiling at the older lady who is painting her nails and chewing her gum loudly.

“Hi, uh we want a room?” Eddie asked while tapping his fingers on the counter.

The lady looked up at Eddie and popped the bubble she was blowing. She rolled her eyes and set down the nail polish, blowing on her nails gently.

“King or queen?”

“I'm sorry?” he used while tilting his head to the side. She rolled her eyes once more and held out her hands.

“The bed size, sweetie. You want a big bed, a medium, or two small ones?”

Eddie stuttered over his words before you cleared your throat.

“We’ll take a king size. Thank you,” you squinted at her small nametag. “Christina.”

She smiled at you and squealed from behind the bubble she was blowing. She opened her mouth to pop it and set the room key in your hand.

“Want some advice? You know, girl to girl,” she asked while painting her nails again.

“Uh-”

“If you do anything with him, have him shower first. He smells like a milkshake that's been left in the sun. Okay bye!” she said excitedly while waving at you both and blowing a kiss. Eddie stood in disbelief with the bags in his hands.

“I'm like, right here you know?”

You let out a quiet giggle and drag Eddie onto the small elevator. The ride up to your room was quiet and your focus was back on your bruised fist until Eddie spoke up.

“Do I really smell like a milkshake that's been left in the sun?”

“A little, but it's okay.”

Eddie mumbled under his breath while you unlocked the door and stepped into the room with him not far behind. You both looked around the room with satisfied looks, it wasn't the best but it could've been much worse. Eddie dropped the bags on the floor and fought the urge to jump onto the big bed.

“I'm gonna hop in the shower since I smell so bad.”

You giggle and nod your head. “I should call my parents. Let them know I'm alive.”

The minute Eddie is in the shower you grab the phone that's on the nightstand and dial the first number you think of.

“Buckley resident-”

“Robin! Thank god you answered.”

You hear her chuckle and you swear you can see her shaking her head.

“Don't worry, your mom called earlier and I covered for you already.”

You let out a sigh of relief thanking her and leaning on the headboard of the bed.

“Where are you anyway?”

“Uh, I'm not sure.”

Robin let out a laugh. “Well just be careful okay?”

“I will be. Eddie is with me.”

“Romantic getaway?”

You hummed and looked down at your hand.

“Not exactly…”

“Oh my god, did you hear about what happened at the diner near the library?!”

“Yeah, yeah I did.”

Robin let out a whine. “What? How? I wanted to tell you about it.”

You let out an awkward cough and played with the cord of the phone.

“I was the one who punched him.”

Silence falls over the phone and you start to think that Robin hung up until she lets out a sigh.

“Okay, let's hear why.”

“They were being mean to Eddie, Robin. They poured their shake all over him then they started pushing on him,” you closed your eyes trying to calm down. “They still think he's a murderer.”

“Well he's not”

“Exactly!”

“But y/n, you're not gonna be able to make them see that. All that matters is you know Eddie. You know he's not a murderer, and he sure as hell isn't a monster. You know the truth, just let them live their lie.”

“I'm scared, Robin. I'm scared that this is getting to his head and that he'll just…disappear on me.”

“Babe, there's no way he'd disappear on you. On me and everyone else? Most definitely, but not you. Never you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Totally! Plus if he does, you can fall in love with me and we can have our best friends to lovers trope.”

You giggle and shake your head at her joke.

“But honestly, you have nothing to worry about y/n, just be there for him in any way that you can.”

You sigh and wrap the cord around your hand, wincing in pain when you feel the sting of your bruise.

“Yeah, you're right.”

“I always am. When will you and Steve learn this?”

“Never, thanks for listening Robin I owe you.”

“Ah, it's nothing. I'll let you go now! Bye, love you!”

“Mwah! Love you too!”

You hang up the phone and flop down onto the bed. For a random motel, you and Eddie found it had a really comfortable bed. Your eyes started to close and you felt like you were sinking into the bed when you heard a question being asked.

“Who was on the phone? Your other boyfriend?”

You tilt your head up at him and feel your cheeks get warm. He was shirtless. You've seen him shirtless before, but not since the upside down. He's stayed hidden underneath his favorite shirts for a while, so you're caught off guard by this. Your eyes drift down from his chest to the scars he's gotten from the bats. They're a bit faded now, but you know the memory is still fresh in his mind.

“Y-you have no shirt.”

Eddie clears his throat and nods his head.

“Yeah, I figured it was about time I showed some skin again. Unless you think I shouldn't?”

“No! I mean, yes? Wait, no let me try again.” You rush out while sitting up.

Eddie laughs and crosses his arms over his chest and looks at you with amusement.

“Yes, I think it's time you show some skin again, but like only with me, right?”

Eddie puts his knee on the bed and kisses your forehead.

“Only with you baby.”

You smiled at Eddie and threw yourself back down onto the bed.

“You gonna shower?”

You grunted and shook your head. “I showered before I picked you up.”

He let out a quiet hum and lifted the blankets.

“That's why you smelled so good today.”

“Do I usually stink?” you asked while peeking an eye open.

“Only a little,” he mocked.

You rolled your eyes and gently shoved him away while murmuring about how mean he is.

He gently places his hand on your calf and rubs small circles with his thumb.

“Are you tired?”

You nod your head and get under the blankets. Eddie follows your actions, and for the first time in a long time, he throws his arm around your waist and brings you close to him.

“You okay?” you ask him quietly while resting your hand on his cheek.

He lets out a sigh and nods his head.

“It's like I'm sleepy, but I don't wanna sleep.”

“I understand, you wanna try sleeping?”

He stays quiet, his eyes scanning your face.

“You've never been scared of me.”

“You never gave me any reason to be.”

“Everyone thinks I'm a monster. They always have, and sometimes I agree with them. It's hard to feel normal with all the scars, kinda makes me feel like one.”

You go silent, trying to think of what to tell him. You think back to what robin was telling you over the phone.

“Who cares what they think?”

“I do, not about me but when it comes to you,” he sighs and pulls you in closer. “People talk. I don't want you to get the short end of the stick 'cause you decided to stay with me.”

You giggle quietly and kiss him. It's short and sweet, but it's also full of passion.

“I don't care what they say about me,” you mumble against his lips. “They don't know us, Eddie. They think you're a freak, and they think I'm under some sort of cult spell because of how much I love you, but that's not true. They don't know a single thing about us.”

You pull away from him and push some hair out of his face.

“They think that we’re ugly, but I know we're beautiful. I'll get called every name in the book if it means I get to be by your side.”

Eddie ignores the stinging behind his eyes and bites his bottom lip to hide his smile. He gently kisses your forehead and sniffles a bit, you lift your head and wipe away the stray tear that managed to escape from his eye.

“You're beautiful Eddie. You always have been, even with the scars. Don't let them make you feel any different than that.”

Eddie shakes his head and lets out a broken chuckle.

“Thank you for staying with me. I know I haven't been around as much, I'm surprised you didn't leave.”

You wrap your arms around his head and bring him into your chest. He lets out a sigh of contentment and wraps his arms around your waist while you gently run your hands through his hair.

“Eddie my love, I'll stay with you as long as you need me to.”

#can u tell i didn't know how to end this #lol #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things blurb #stranger things fluff #stranger things angst

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