#I feel like lately I need a little somethin’ to peruse and enjoy… I might just dip into that old archive at some point to find stuff…

[bugeyedfreaks]

It’s the PPG witching hours so this is probably why I feel compelled to write this but also because that last ask has inspired me…

…I am always on the lookout for PPG fanfictions that people think I may enjoy, so… just to let everyone know if you did not already… I am always open to recommendations…

[thelastspeecher]

Pirate AU - Down to Davy Jones’

This is a Gravity Falls AU, so naturally there is an equivalent to the portal incident, where Ford gets stuck somewhere for a long time.  Here is that moment in this AU.  Some angst, some Stangst, and some dad!Stan.

Enjoy.

——————————————————————————————

              Small footsteps sounded on the deck, immediately followed by Manly Dan’s distinctive, booming voice.

              “NO, Daisy, your DAD said no HARPOONS!” Daisy’s giggled response wasn’t legible through the closed door, but Stan knew that she wasn’t going to give up the weapon easily.

              “You should probably go help Dan,” Angie said. “We’re done with our meetin’.” Stan didn’t get up from his chair, set across from Angie’s desk.

              “No, we aren’t,” Stan said.  Angie looked up from the papers she was perusing.  “You finished saying your piece, now I have to say mine.”

              “I…didn’t realize ya had somethin’ to say,” Angie said, bemused.  She took off her reading glasses.  “What’s wrong?”

              “I’m just…”  Stan sighed.  “I’ve been thinking about the girls lately.”

              “I certainly hope so.  They are yer children.”

              “Not like-”  Stan huffed impatiently.  “I’ve been thinking about how they’re only three, but they live on a fucking pirate ship.”

              “And?”

              “Angie, you’re not dumb.  You can’t think this is a good environment for two toddlers!”

              “What do ya want to do?” Angie asked calmly. “Settle on land?  I’d stay at home, birthing and tending to children, and you’d find some professional, well-paying job?  Or maybe you’d want to pursue farmin’ like my pa.”

              “Not all of that.  Just the settling on land part.”

              “There aren’t a lot of options fer us on land. We’re wanted criminals, fer one thing.”

              “No one knows your real name,” Stan pointed out. “And I’m fine using your real last name, since Stan Pines is a known pirate.”  Angie sighed.  “I know that it would be difficult to figure out, but we can make it work.  I really think we should give up the whole pirate thing.”

              “Stan-”

              “Angie, it’s not safe for our kids to live on a pirate ship,” Stan said firmly.  Anger flashed in Angie’s eyes at being talked over.  Stan forged ahead.  “It’s not just the rusted metal and weapons.  It’s the fact that we literally have battles.  Danny and Daisy are three.  They shouldn’t be anywhere near a swordfight.”

              “I…”  Angie chewed on her lip.  “I just…” She sighed again.  “I made this my life’s purpose.  I built my whole life ‘round bein’ a pirate, I can’t just give it up. At this point, it’s part of who I am!”

              “I know.  But I just- I don’t think I can do this anymore,” Stan said softly.  “Not with our baby girls on board.”

              “I understand.  And I don’t want ‘em hurt or near any sort of danger, either,” Angie said. She reached out and took hold of Stan’s hand.  Stan gently traced the scars on the back of her hand with his thumb.  “I’ll think ‘bout it.  At the very least, we should be able to-”  There was a loud crash.  The ship tilted heavily.  “Fucking hell!”  The door to Angie’s cabin slammed open, revealing Greg.

              “Captain, First Mate, we have a problem.”

              “What?” Angie asked.

              “It’s the Armageddon,” Greg said.  Stan could feel the blood drain from his face. “She came out of nowhere!”

              “Are we lucky enough that the Armageddon’s had a change of captain?” Angie asked, getting up from her desk.  Greg shook his head.  “Fantastic.  Have Dan bring the girls belowdeck.  Stan and I will do our best to handle things.”

----- 

              “Handle things” ended up meaning what it meant the previous times the pirate-hunting ship previously named Orion but now called Armageddon had caught up to them.  It meant a fight.  Stan couldn’t see anything other than the sailors directly in front of him, but a voice cut through the sounds of battle.

              “He’s heading belowdeck!”

              “Who?” Stan called.

              “Bill!” came the reply.  To Stan’s left, there was a loud swear that would put the filthiest of sailor’s mouths to shame.

              My blushing bride.  Said bride cut down the sailor between her and Stan.  Angie’s eyes were wild with rage and terror.

              “Come on!”  Angie grabbed Stan’s hand and dragged him through the chaos, following Bill into the belly of the ship, where Danny and Daisy were hiding with Dan. They caught up to Bill, just before he was about to enter the room that had been designated as the girls’ hiding place. “Bill!”  Captain Bill Cipher turned around, grinning evilly.

              “Hello, Captain Sally,” he said slimily.  Stan’s heart leapt to his throat.  Now that Bill had turned, Stan could tell the captain held Ford in front of him, a knife tickling his throat.  “I’d be careful if I were you.  You’d hate to kill your brother-in-law.  Especially after he committed treason for you.”  Angie snarled.  “Now, go back to the battle.  I have more important things to do.”

              “We’re not going anywhere,” Stan spat.  Bill shrugged.

              “If you insist.  Maybe you can help me find what I’m looking for, then.”  A vicious glint appeared in his single eye, a weak amber that almost looked yellow.  “A one-of-a-kind relic with a one-of-a-kind enchantment.”  Hunger entered Bill’s gaze.  ���The ability to open a gate to Davy Jones’ Locker.”  He cocked his head, grin broadening further.  “It’s a funny coincidence, since that’s exactly where pirate scum like you belong.”

              “You’re a fool, Cipher,” Angie said calmly.  Out of the corner of his eye, Stan saw Angie slowly reach for her pocket.  Unfortunately, Bill saw it as well.  Too quickly for Stan to intervene, Bill cast Ford aside, grabbed Angie’s shirt, and pulled her to the ground.

              “Uh-uh.  No guns, lady,” he said in a faux-sweet tone.  Angie hissed at him.  He put his knife to her neck.  “Do you want a new scar to match the one you’ve already got?  If so, feel free to struggle.”  Angie reluctantly stilled.  Stan rushed over to where Ford had fallen.  “That’s right, help your brother while your wife is on the floor.”

              “You piece of-” Stan started.

              “Ah, ah, ah!” Bill said, pressing the knife blade against Angie’s neck.  A bead of blood appeared.  Stan swallowed his insult.

              “Stanley,” Ford whispered.  “Here.”  He pressed something into Stan’s hand.  Stan looked down.  It was some sort of pendant, composed of a glowing opal ringed by gold.  “You’re the only one I can trust with this.”

              “Not so fast, Fordsy,” Bill snarled.  The feigned light tone was gone.  He finished drawing the knife across Angie’s neck, then tossed her to the side.  Stan’s heart plummeted to his feet.  “I thought you might be holding out on me, you-”

              “R hvmw bv gl gsv ylggln lu gsv hvz!” Ford shouted, suddenly shoving Stan off and tackling Bill.  There was a deranged look in his bloodshot eyes.  He gripped the front of Bill’s shirt.  “Drgs nv.”  The pendant in Stan’s hand glowed brighter.  As the light filled the room, droplets of water fell from the ceiling, building from a slow trickle to a gushing waterfall that enveloped Ford and Bill.

              “Stanford!” Stan shouted over the roaring water.  The light of the pendant grew brighter still, forcing Stan to close his eyes.

              When he opened them again, Ford and Bill were gone. What little remained of the water had puddled on the floorboards.  Angie, still on the floor but now soaked through, slowly sat up.

              “What…in the hell…just happened?” she croaked. Stan quickly moved to her side.

              “Stay still,” he instructed.  “If you move too much, you might bleed out.”

              “Relax.  He didn’t really cut me that bad,” Angie said with a scoff.  “This just feels like the ship cat got a bit too frisky with me.” She smiled weakly at Stan.  “I know neck wounds, and this one isn’t a problem at all.”

              “Well, that’s good.”  Stan sat down next to her.  “That’s…the only thing that’s good.”

              “What happened?”

              “I don’t know.  Ford gave me this glowing thing, and then he started saying gibberish, and then it glowed more, and there was water, and-”

              “Stop.”  Angie held up a hand.  “What did Ford give you?”

              “This.”  Stan opened the hand that was still clenched tight around the pendant.  The brilliant glow of the opal had completely faded, leaving it dull.  Angie took the pendant from him curiously.  “I swear, it was glowing earlier.”

              “I believe you,” Angie said softly.  She closed her eyes.  “This is…a big old mess.”

              “Understatement of the century.”  A moment passed.  “So, uh, I know you said we would talk about the whole moving to land thing, but there’s no way the girls can stay on the ship when this sorta shit happens.” There was a beat.  Angie nodded.

              “I agree.”

-----

              “Let me take that.”  Stan took the chair from Angie.  She glared at him.  “You gotta be careful about how much weight you carry.”

              “That’s a chair, Stanley Stanford McGucket,” Angie scolded, hands on her hips.  “Not an anvil.”

              “Can you blame me for being extra cautious?” Stan asked.  He set down the chair just by the front door, then returned to Angie and placed a hand on her already swelling belly.  “We’ve got another little twerp on the way.”  Angie sighed.

              “No, I can’t blame ya.”

              “Good.  Now, go sit in that chair while I bring the rest of the stuff in.”

              “But-”

              “We’re not on the ship anymore, Captain,” Stan interjected.  “You can’t command me.”  Angie raised an eyebrow.

              “Yer playin’ a dangerous game, husband of mine,” she said, but sat down in the chair anyways.  She leaned back, watching Stan bring the rest of the furniture in. Shortly after Stan began to move ashore with Danny and Daisy, Angie discovered she was pregnant again and, hoping to avoid the traumatic birth she’d had previously, as well as help her family settle down, decided to join her husband and daughters on land.

              To be honest, Angie was kind of glad to have an excuse to be on land.  Yes, she might not strictly need an excuse, but she still liked having it.  Stan was clearly haunted and troubled by what had happened to Ford.  He needed all the support he could get.

              To be even more honest, Angie wasn’t being half as argumentative as usual, out of concern for Stan’s mental state.

              Not that I’ll ever tell him why I’m bein’ so gentle.

              “It’s gonna be great to have us all here as a little family,” Stan said, carrying a dresser.  He grinned.  “Y’know, it’s basically what I wanted when I was a kid.  Wife, kids, my own business.”

              “This is temp’rary fer me, though,” Angie reminded him.  “I’m only ashore fer the pregnancy and post-partum period.  After, I’m headin’ back to sea.”  Stan set down the dresser with a grimace.

              “Angie…”

              “It’s not like I’m abandonin’ ya.  It’ll be like merchant fam’lies what have the father gone to transport tea and whatnot.  But in this case, it’s the mother.”

              “I guess.”

              “I know yer not happy-”

              “Yeah, I’m not happy.”  Stan took a breath.  “But I just have to deal with it.  Who knows? Maybe you’ll love your time ashore so much, you decide to stay.”

              “Don’t hold yer breath hopin’ fer that possibility, love.”

              “Yeah, yeah,” Stan muttered.  “You better be giving me a son, by the way.  That’ll make being a single parent more worth it.”

              “I know yer jokin’, but don’t say that ‘round the girls.  They won’t understand.”

              “Right.  Speaking of the girls, uh, where are they?” Stan asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

              “Yer not pretendin’ ya don’t know where yer children are as a way of me stickin’ ‘round, are ya?  I know full well yer capable of takin’ care of ‘em,” Angie said.  Stan frowned at her.  “They’re with Maria.  She should be bringin’ ‘em back any minute.”

              “Mama!” a voice screeched.  “Papa!”  Three-year-old Danny and Daisy ran up, wrapping their arms around Stan’s legs.

              “Hey there, little pirates,” Stan chuckled, ruffling their hair.  “Didja have a good time with Mrs. Ramirez?”

              “Don’t be silly, Stanley,” Maria said, walking over to them.  Her grandson, Soos, was holding her hand.  “I’m not Mrs. Ramirez.  I’m Abuelita.”

              “Yeah!” Daisy said loudly.  Soos broke free of his grandmother’s grip and ran to Stan.

              “Mr. McGucket, can you tell me a pirate story?” he asked eagerly.  Stan grinned.

              “Like you need to ask!  Come on in, kid!”  Cheering, the children followed Stan inside.  Angie got up from the chair and embraced Maria.

              “I’m so glad you kids settled here in Gravity Falls,” Maria said.  Angie smiled.

              “Well, you and Soos seemed really happy here. And Stan was thrilled to be close to you two.”

              “Yes, Soos is a wonderful boy.”  Maria raised an eyebrow at Angie.  “So, what are your plans?”  

              “Stan wants to turn part of the house into a pawn or antiques shop,” Angie answered.  “After all, we have plenty of things from our adventures that he can sell.  And since I won’t be giving up piracy, I’ll be able to help restock.”

              And if Stan sells interesting relics, he’s more likely to meet people who might know something about the pendant that sent Ford away.  Said relic was locked tight in a chest, tucked away beneath the floorboards of their bedroom.

              “You’re not quitting?” Maria asked, surprised. Angie shook her head.  “Surprising.”

              “I just…”  Angie looked down at her feet.  She toed the grass.  “I probably will eventually.  But not yet. I have more I want to do.”

              “I understand.  Though I don’t understand why you and Stan went with the last name ‘McGucket’.”

              “…It’s actually my real last name,” Angie mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck.  “My real name is Angie McGucket.  So I went back to that.  And since Stan Pines is a known pirate, he took my last name.”

              “Ah.”  Maria looked Angie up and down, then put her hands on her hips.  “You need to eat more!  You’re pregnant, but look at you!  You’re skin and bones, mija!”  Angie laughed.

              “I was wonderin’ how long it would take fer ya to try to feed me.”

              “Try?  I am not going to try, dear.  Come inside, I will make you something to eat.”

              “Maria, this is my house.”

              “So?” Maria asked, walking into the house.  “I can use a kitchen even if it is not mine.”

              With a chuckle, Angie followed her inside.