#I emailed my landlord and he won't tell me what he did but the smell has stopped
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ME: Feels tremendously sad like there's no hope and I'll never be able to have the nice things that other people have.
ME: Eats 3 (thus far) 4 bagels and drinks a lot of coffee. "Huh, this feels better, maybe everything will be okay."
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And isn’t she all of us, pining for that last kiss, a permanent truth, A means to get through. Maybe we’ll cry, whilst hopeful, when we think about the past being cruel.
#I've been feeling really lonely lately#I don't want to move closer to the city I like because it's a huge hassle to move and there's not many stable long term affordable options.#someone in my building has been smoking (I think) meth and where I'm from that's not a drug people do.#I emailed my landlord and he won't tell me what he did but the smell has stopped#for now..#I want to go home so badly but home is just trading safe stable housing for loneliness and lack of opportunity which seems... Not great?#idk. I have a lot of heavy worries on my mind#“This is essentially a diary”#Been pondering the question of- how long do you wait to be happy? How long do you wait to start taking chances to have the things you want?#personal#song not about anyone specific just the desire to not be alone#Youtube#To be clear- I DO NOT “do drugs” other than like endorphins and caffeine#but I have no problem with weed or cigarettes or most other drugs I just dont wanna be bothered by them. if that makes sense
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