#I dont acknowledge it because its emotional work and it pisses me off and wastes my damn time. Like

[tagapagsalaysay]

I didnt participate much in the up burgis discourse because its already hard to exist and i am a normal person and im sure im also petit burgeois and also bait used to be believable. Regardless: the burgis in up are of another level of kuripot. while also looking at resales of luxury brands during class. lets be real here

[sajdd]

Look I’m super syndicate critical and all, but what do you think they could have done to actually be engaging as a group?

Like Phil and Techno are Mary Sues, Ranboo lore confuses me, and Niki arc was based around the og L’manburgians and especially c!Wilbur

Like the only thing I could think of was Ranboo finding about tubbo’s execution, but he did and that went literally no where

What would you do if you were in the discord calling the writing shots?

the solution is really simple actually, either make these characters realise their mistakes and have it become some sort of character development arc, for example, c!techno realising he was just being biased and his ideaology doesnt work in this situation, realises he hurt people, stops teaming up with c!dream, and slowly but surely rebuilds his relationship with the other members of the server by helping them fight back against c!dream. OR. it could be acknowledged hes a hypocritical asshole who does whatever he wants because hes strong, and actually be painted as a villain hiding behind ideologies to really just do whatever he wants. personally id prefer the first option because theres so much you could do there, and i want to actually like his character.

the issue is, all these characters have so much potential that just never gets explored. i cant tell you what exactly i would do because ive seen it be done better by other people. the potential is there and thats why its so annoying. because it gets thrown away in favour of being epic mary sue characters who are a "family" despite there barely being any emotional connections or substance.

for example, c!niki. the whole rocket duo arc was interesting, her and c!jack planning to kill c!tommy. c!jack actually had a reason whereas c!niki was simply trying to find someone to blame for all her traumas and problems. the potential of this? sweet, beloved c!niki who stood up against tyranny with nothing but spite and bravery? turning into a bitter traumatised girl in the face of loss and despair, trying to kill a friend because she had to blame someone because she couldnt handle the pain of it all? the potential for the exploration of her mental health was craaaazy. and then she just. dropped it lol. she was just like "im baking again" and its like. ok? so where did all that go, her trying to kill c!tommy just brushed under the rug, suddenly shes just "better" despite not really seeing the progression. she just suddenly was. dont even get me started on the fact she joined the syndicate, yknow, the guys who helped her destroy her home, and worked with the biggest monster of them all, c!dream, to the point she eventually helps them free him??? and shes like "theyre my family they accept me" LIKE WHAT???? WHERE???? IN THE 5 MINUTES OF SCREEN TIME YOU GUYS HAVE TOGETHER?

c!ranboo..... man. hes even more wasted potential. and i get half of it is scheduling issues, and i sympathise, but thats not the only issue here. c!ranboo has more mysteries than personality. he just keeps creating more and more questions and then never answers them, and then he kills off his character 💀 like yeah hes gonna come back but we still have no answers to anything really and its just like. ok. also the fact hes a character thats like, on everyones good side??? sorry but it pisses me off that hes all buddy-buddy with the guys who destroyed lmanberg. like he saw them blow up a nation (helping c!dream while theyre at it) and was like "PEOPLE NOT SIDES. anyway im gonna go live with them". like what?????? and then the fact he finds out about the execution and just. its never brought up again (and never fuckign will be because now c!tubbo and c!techno are buddies which was so horribly "developed" lol). he really just listened to them shit on c!tommys death and didnt say or do anything. he knew they were a threat to c!tubbo but also never really did anything other than observe. he talks so much about "people not sides" but then, what have you done to help people, to choose people, other than just be friendly with everyone and avoid conflict? so much potential, so many questions, but no actual closure for anything. also the fact that people take his word as law, despite the fact that he is actually written to be unknowledgeable/hypocritical on purpose pains me, though thats more to do with the fandom than the character.

c!phil. once again, POTENTIAL. imagine this: immortal being kills his own son in the midst of war, confusion and anguish. he carries out what he believes to be justice and pays the price by having to kill his son who he believes lost his mind. he feels guilt and for that he tries to help the nation trying to rebuild itself, only to be haunted by the ghost of the very son he killed, and finding out he lied in his letters because he didnt want to dissapoint his father. potential conflict between trying to help lmanberg vs realising maybe his piggy friend isnt so justified in everything that he does, and he sees the wreckage of november 16th for what it was. but we got this instead: kills suicidal son, calls him evil, blames government for having to kill him, disrespects his sons ghost, believes c!techno can do no wrong, and never for a second doubts himself or his buddy while actively villainising the victims and trying to "teach them a lesson"....... lol ok

sorry i went on a bit of a tangent there, but what im trying to say is, look, the potential is right there. they were SO close. but they threw it away and thats what infuriates me. because ive seen these characters be rewritten in much more interesting ways, while still keeping their flaws. but instead we got this, and if they were separated i probably wouldnt care. but my biggest grievance is the fact that their bad writing ends up fucking over the other members of the server and its annoying.

[psychokangaroo]

My therapist suggested I journal and figure out why the attending triggers me so much, so im doing that right here.

I think there's a a few parts.

1. I feel frustrated because following a conversation is really really difficult when I'm already activated, lots of background noise, I feel hypervigilant, I feel extremely self aware.

2. I feel dumb because I can't quite communicate my thoughts the way I want to, or my thoughts don't neatly fall into a way that sheds the best light on me. I feel like because I cannot express myself the way I wish I could, my evaluators think that I am dumb/less qualified than I am

3. I can't tell if I am at the benchmark that I should be at, or if my struggles are mostly due to the fact that I am neurodivergent. I want to acknowledge that my neurodivergence is a major contributor to my struggles, but I feel like any kind of acknowledgement is me copping out of responsibility.

4. Theres a lot of stuff on my plate and I am afraid of things not working out.

5. Metacognition stuff

6. I am afraid that I just wasted the last 7 years of mt life chasing down this dream of being a doctor. I am afraid that I dont have what it takes to make it.

7. Getting flashbacks to when i was a kid and I can't answer my parents' questions and my mom would get so angry and tell me that I have pigshit for brains and dad would get pissed that I am crying and sometimes there are belts amd wirehangers and threats of being tossed out the home. (And judging myself for being melodramatic about it because I'm not quite sure that it happened the way I experienced it? At least my parents would deny it anyways)

8. Its really really hard to handle negative emotions when you have flashbacks on and off and experiencing extreme emotional lows.

9. Sometimes I feeling the expectations for me bounce around like Tigger on speed, and I always fall short no matter how much I try to adjust them (which incidentally is another trigger)

Um its just

A lot?

And ultimately I am feeling awful.

But on the kind of funny side, there's probably something hilariously meta about a person probably with ptsd interviewing a bunch of people with ptsd while very actively experiencing ptsd symptoms.

I guess in the end, a lot of the patients' experiences hit so close to home that its basically on my front door. I have never gone to the ED before, but I do know what it's like the minutes, hours, days after when you feel like you should have died. How bizarre the next morning when you wake up and you're still alive. And I guess when I interview patients, ideally I would try to talk to them the way that I would want to be talked to. I dont know if it comes through that way? But the few times when I interview patients by myself it turned out okay.

I want this. But it just feels so out of reach some times.

[bnha-mha-imagines]

Helloooooo~headcannons for Bakugo, Todoroki, Kaminari, Sero, and Kirishima with a shy crush and they want to ask them out?

I wasn’t sure if you meant the boys were asking their crush out or if the crush was asking them out, so I just went with the first option. Sorry if I misunderstood! :) I adored this tho

Bakugo

He doesn’t have a crush. Huh? (Y/n)? Definitely not a crush, what. Why would you think he had a crush on them? Because they’re so cute that it pisses him off and he lays in bed at night wondering what it’s like to hold their hand? What? Huh? Sorely mistaken.

No, for real though, this boy is so frustrating because he denies his feelings for you for the longest time. He’s trying to be the number one hero over here so when he meets you and just falls head over heels, he’s hitting every rock and bump on they way down to try and crawl out of that hole. 

The more he fights it, though, the more he’s forced to acknowledge it. He’d try to distance himself from you but it’s just so miserable and hard for him so he’s just always crawling back. But don’t mention that or he’ll get pissy. 

When he’s finally on board with his own emotional rollercoaster he finds it really hard to talk to you. Anytime he starts getting close to asking you out his brain kinda goes into overdrive and he’ll end up shouting or saying something rude. 

It. Breaks. His. Heart.

Because when he raises his voice at you, your lip starts to tremble and your eyes get a little glassy. He feels like shit for doing that to you, instant regret. Hates that he can’t control his mouth when he’s around you.

Because he’s shit at communication you think he hates you tbh. Kirishima gives him the great idea to find a different outlet to confess to you, an idea which...Bakugo hates to admit isn’t half bad. 

So he’ll start to do little things for you. Harps on people if they embarrass you, will make you treats and leave them on your desk before you get to class (totally denies it, fyi), forcefully throws his hoodie to you if you look cold, etc.

It kind of embarrases you to get this sort of attention, though it gets the message across to you that he doesn’t actually hate you. So you start spending more time together and it gives you butterflies :)

This goes on for a while and eventually people catch on that something is going on between you. 

Mina will just gape at you both and be like “How long have you been dating!?!” and Bakugo just wraps an arm over your shoulders and is just deadass like “Two weeks.” And your face is in flames because he never officially asked you out?!?! What?!

You’re not complaining though. 

Todoroki

When he first realizes he likes you, he’s a little at a loss. He’s never asked anyone out before and he wasn’t even sure if you felt the same way.

So like any normal person, he googles it.

He finds a wiki-how on how to know if your crush likes you back, so he sets up his own little experiment.

He tries different things to see how you react. Will look over to you during class to see if you’re staring at him, or he’ll see you in the dorm commons and sit directly next to you even if every other chair is vacant. 

You’re a constant blushing mess during this period of time because all of a sudden the stoic hot-boy you’ve been quietly crushing on is paying way more attention to you than you’re used to. 

You kinda start to wonder if he likes you or not but are too scared to ask. What if you were misreading his actions? How embarrassing would that be!

So you just allow yourself to freeze up and quiet down when he’s around. 

Todoroki comes to two conclusions; either you like him, or you’re scared of him.

At this point, he’s down a wiki-how rabbit hole and its not exactly working out for him. He gets a little frustrated with it and decides to just straight up ask you.

It’s after class one day and he stops you right before you’re about to leave. “Wait for a moment please, I’d like to talk.” 

You’re shook. 

Once the room is empty except for you both he doesn’t waste a moment. “Are you scared of me?” It’s so blunt and serious that it shakes you to the core. You’re instantly panicking.

“W-What?! No, y-you don’t scare me. Why would you…?” You’re embarrassed, half of your brain trying to convince him and the other half trying to look back at what you’ve done that could have made him think that.  

He kinda just watches you get flustered and this tiny smirk goes onto his face, totally making you freeze. “W-What?” 

“So that means you like me, yes?” 

Reader.exe has stopped working. 

Taking your silence as a yes, he’ll take your hand in his and give it a kiss. “Then, would you give me the honor of a date tomorrow night?” 

Kaminari 

This boy will be your doom. 

He thinks it's totally hilarious when your face gets all red and heated so he makes it a game to see how flustered he can make you.

He’s not sure when his gag transforms into flirting; it’s so subtle that he’s a little off-guard when he finally realizes it.

You’d be hanging out with the group and he’ll tease you so that you hide your face in your hands, and he feels all gushy all of a sudden and is so startled by this emotion that he accidentally shocks himself. 

After he realizes he has feelings for you, he is 10x worse, ohmygod. 

He starts shooting you left and right with dumb pick-up lines.

“Are you related to Yoda? ‘Cause Yodalicious.”

Bonus points if he can get it electricity-based.

“‘Ay, (Y/n), how about you leave the blinds open tonight so I can get a pikachu~”

“Are you a light socket? ‘Cause I feel a spark between us~”

“Are you my charger? ‘Cause I’d die without you~”

All of his friends call him cringey. He calls it romantic.

Everytime it brings a blush to your face and he eats it up. It’s just a win-win for him, he gets to be as cheesy as he wants and you’ll always get that cute little look on your face.

It kills you every time though because you definitely have a crush on him, and you still think he’s joking around with you. Eventually it gets really hard for you to deal with and you let him know you’ve had enough. 

“K-Kaminari, please stop.” You’re looking at your hands because you can’t meet his eyes. “I d-dont think I can take this anymore. It hurts when you joke like that when you...you don’t mean them.” 

He’s a little confused at first before his eyes widen and just laughs. Okay, at this point you’re a little hurt and annoyed because dude, you just built up your courage to ask him to stop and he laughs in your face, what the hell. 

But when he finishes laughing, he’ll look at you with those eyes and say, “(Y/n), do you really think those we’re all jokes? I mean, sure, I was trying to be funny but...the sentiment behind them is real. I really like you…” 

Your cheeks will get pink, not expecting him to just confess to you like that...and suddenly you remember everything he had said to you in all seriousness and feel so embarrassed!!!

“Do you still want me to stop?”

“No I...I think I like them now.”

Sero

Sero doesn’t really think he’s anything special, so he’s a little nervous when notices his feelings for you. He doesn’t see how someone as amazing as you would share the same kind of sentiment for a plain guy like him. 

Similar to a lot of his crushes in the past, he’ll try to quietly kill it off. When that doesn’t work, he just takes to secretly pining after you. 

He thinks your shyness is very humble and endearing, so he takes it upon himself to help you with anything you’d need. If you’re ever uncomfortable at a social event, he’ll take you to the side for a breather and carry out a more relaxing conversation.

You really lean on him when it comes to certain vulnerabilities, and you find yourself slowly becoming more open with him.

Sero doesn’t really notice it happening, but regardless is just a constant pillar of encouragement and support. 

Your conversations are gradually getting more intimate and you’re finding yourself more and more comfortable around him. He’s become your best friend, and you couldn’t deny you had feelings for him on top of that.

Eventually it becomes obvious to everyone that you both clearly have a thing for each other, and Sero’s friends are getting frustrated that he hasn’t done anything about it yet.

“Dude, they’re totally interested in you, why are you avoiding it?”

He just kinda shakes his head because...he just doesn’t believe them. He thinks they’re just trying to be nice because they’re his friends. When they can’t get him to confess, they at least get him to put it down in writing for you. 

He starts to write you little love notes and leaves them at your desk.

The first time you got one, you felt so flattered? He watched your face pinken as you read it before class. He had to hide his smile for fear of you realizing who wrote it.

He aint slick.

By now you already knew what his handwriting looked like, so you knew instantly it was he who wrote it.

But you don’t want to embarrass him so you never brought it up to him. So for a few weeks, he'll write you notes every other day, and you get so flustered if anyone asks you what they are. You hide it against your chest and blush...and then put it in a little bag you keep of every single note you’ve received. 

One day Sero walks into class, surprised to see a note on HIS desk.

He opens it and gets so embarrassed because it’s just a list of everything you liked about him and you signed your name with a little heart at the bottom. He’s so happy, he feels all light and bubbly.

During class he passes you a note and asks if you want to go see a movie that night, yes or no.

You get the rest :)

Kirishima

He’s probably the best out of these guys at asking you out, doesn’t really beat around the bush and does all the hard work for you.

By nature he’s really outgoing so even though you’re shy he always made that effort to include you and strike up a conversation. 

You find yourself more comfortable in his company than you are in most others, so you falling for him is a little inevitable. 

Once you realize your feelings for him, it gets a lot harder for you to be as open, and you kind of revert back to a lot of your shy tendencies.

It’s hard for you to hold eye contact for more than a few seconds and you trip over your words.

It confuses the hell out of Kirishima because he thought you were beginning to get comfortable with him? Did he do something wrong? He turns to your other friends to try and see what’s up.

“Mina, is (Y/n) upset with me or something??” 

The girl can’t keep a secret for the life of her, she rats you out so fast. “Huh? No, she just likes you, dude.”

Gets this silly grin on his face, can’t believe the class cutie actually likes him? Boy starts making plans.

He kind of avoids you one day and you begin to worry you made yourself too distant and ended up pushing him away. You were really frustrated with your shyness, feeling it ruined everything for you.

So when Kirishima pulls you aside after class, you get really frightened, thinking he was gonna stop being your friend. But instead, this guy pulls out some flowers from behind his back and your eyes sparkle because the gesture is so sweet.

“I heard from a little bird you liked me,” and he’ll pause just long enough for you to DIE and mentally curse every evil on a certain pink girl. “So I wanted to formally ask you...will you go out with me?” Of course you say yes.

You guys share a hug and you just hide your face in his chest because you’re so overwhelmed with joy and relief and can’t handle it.

[myheartbeatskids]

Tolerance

Popeye: Sabrina do i have to have no hate towards Jeremiah?

Me: you don't have to have any feelings towards him

Popeye: is that how you handle it?

Me: that's what i do. I dont feel anything until they piss me off. Some times they happen to please me but i have to remind them i don't like them so its just a momentary

Chris mcgha: like a mirage?

Me: except its real... Like how you can see the heat waves bending in the light on a hot and humid day.. That's as scientifically close as you can get to a mirage... The rest is heat exhaustion and imagination or delusions. So no.

Abu laughs: stupid fuck

Me: their delusions seem to be permanent. And my tolerance of them is real.

Matt: so what Popeye is saying or asking is do you hate Jeremiah 24/7?

Me: no because i dont see him 24/7 and its unhealthy to be so angry and not have an outlet to rage at... So no. I'm not pleased with him the rest of the time

Matt: so she just puts it into neutral until he lays his stupid body in the road and she decides to step on the brake or run him over but all the time shes ready to pop it in drive and burn out on his flesh anytime he pisses her off.

Me: exactly. Like being in a crowded room if hes way the fuck over there Not making me notice hes acknowledging i exist or being loud or trying to get attention from me then fine. But if he's 5 feet from me or being loud about something that I'm not interested in or all about my panties then im gonna kick his ass.

MarjorMarie: like with Declan when he was saying he was worried you would throw him under the bus... Or someone would and it just happened to be you but that was funny!! "I like people like Declan -- The No-Man"

Me: well he didn't seem to be trying to impress any one and i know that he actually does care about Declan and Declan's safety.

MajorMarie: I wouldn't say caaaaare..

Me: more yours than mine

Jeremiah: hey! I care a bunch about you both

Me: not my mental safety.

MajorMarie: or emotional! That's all I'm saying!

Jeremiah sighs: why do you call me Abraham Lincoln?

Me: you look like him

Jeremiah: i do not!

Me: see? That's your attention seeking. Get in an argument for No reason other than hiding flattery then when i actually want to kill you or have nothing to do with you because you annoy the life out of me

Jeremiah: i do not

Me: im absolutely stupid and Don't know my own emotions. You explained just now. Then you want to cuddle and have make up stupid sex.

Jeremiah: sooo does it work?

Me: if i like cuddling with a corpse. Do you get it?

Jeremiah: well im not sorrrrry

Matt: you can go now Jeremiah

Me: yeah you can. Im already done.

Matt: that's how I get. If I can't count to 10 and she doesn't blink then There's a problem and someone is gonna die. I can blink just fine but her... Uhh no... And her face feels like stone. I tell you, she's medusa. That's how i know shes in neutral. But!! When she's about to pop it in park and start ass beating with no weapons, that's when I know

Me: i don't turn on the turn signals... There's no blinkers, im on the brake but i regret it. And so I'm gonna share that regret.

Chris mcgha: and you're gonna hold up traffic

Me: well... Probably shouldn't get behind me.

Popeye: i think i get it. So she stays mad but its dormant like a volcano, like when she used to know me, when we all lived together.

Me: yup, and the release is fantastic, see Jeremiah, that's why i dont need sex with you, being a volcano feels fantastic

Popeye laughs: thats what i used to tell him!!! Like 1991!! Man, that's old! So you're really not mad tho?

Me: see you tolerate him as your adopted child. I don't tolerate him as a human or anything. Except there's nothing i know i csn do so i have to tolerate his existence, except when hes in my personal space.

Alan: so how you do Your moms.

Me: yeah there really is no difference. Okay so take Julia. Cause like Jeremiah she can be awesome

Popeye: ok!

Me: so when shes good then im fine. But I still am not all chummy with her I was... But now she pissed me off and reminded me of some really horrendous shit she did to me and still does. So i tolerate her now

Popeye: what is the difference?

Me: when i think about her i lock my jaw.. Whixh Matt calls medusa. Like teeth grinding which i don't do because i got jaw problems...so i actually put my tounge on the roof of my mouth but other people grind their teeth.

Matt: and she glares

Me: when i focus on her... But then i remember other people are around so then i can ignore her that's why i like noise... So its like a busy house or small house party. Like Christmas dinner. So usually its the TV on the tablet which is Right next to me so envision a house party and different conversation or just a loud dinner even so i would turn to the closest person to me to have a conversation. The TV. So if they're annoying me past my focus on the TV hen I have to stop and kill them.... Now some times people come out of the TV but they should enhance and not subtract from the TV. Cause I can follow along but sometimes I miss something So different programs will add different things. So like NHRA if someone further explains themselves like makes louder what they said... But like other programs I judge peoples personalities. And other programs try to help with my amnesia So they try to clarify what they are saying Like "no hes not the bad guy .... Or no the story isn't the way it seems but the beginning is but the ending is made up" and some stay in the TV. Some are a mix. Mostly only the NHRA makes me want to kill them. Because I don't get information. I don't learn who a person is beyond a screen... I don't get shit but static or crap like what's she doing?? I'm watching the Goddam tv are you fucking kidding me??! Im like im fucking naked and masturbating while tying my shoes shut the fucking door!! And no don't ask why there's a pair of seeing glasses in the peanut butter jar! Go! And by then half the dam program is over and i have to decide to rewind or decide ots a dam waste of,time to,even try to,watch the NHRA And usually it's the latter. Oh thebest of the worst is people screaming "what are you doing to me?!?!" Like really? Are you fucking kidding. Im in my bed trying to watch you on TV. Never fucking mind moron but then is it fair to turn it off halfway cause some psycho thinks I'm their mechanic?

Matt: don't watch the TV

Me: and so Popeye. I know Its difficult But with my mom Julia im fine until i see her little slip.. Im sure you know Jeremiah's little twerks... With her I'm all don't even start your shit, and im not affectionate towards her. I'm all 5 feet over there and Don't be all i love you and shit because I dont think you understand the whole concept. Like i know she does but at the same time all that trust i had in her is gone. Its broke. Its a big sand storm blown all over kingdom come. I dont have it. So it's all medusa. I hear her. I hear her good parts. But i don't allow them to affect me. Its just like slime flying and hitting a marble slab wall. It just slides down. Im still 5 feet over there and dont tell me you love me. Don't have emotions in your voice dont expect me to respond,to you. I don't blink because I don't want to miss anything important. Behind this thick thick marble stone is a very soft and fragile heart. And one day maybe she can see it again but not today. And i dont have to tell her. She just needs to understand it (the wall, my hate, my tolerance, me, herself) and when she doesn't then i tell God to take his little bitch and do something with it. Cause I ain't gonna raise her. I raised myself. And her other son. And i did a dam good job. And i had help from God. So God can take his little bitch and fix her up.

Popeye: yeah that does help!

Me: so you did do a lot of work on Jeremiah but

Popeye: oh! The serenity prayer! Thank you! Now i got it!

Me: exactly! Good job Popeye!

[seafoampeach]

The Greatest Showman

It's been awhile since I saw this movie and since I’ve had time to truly think about it, I just wanna write down what I think. If you enjoyed this movie,I did but I have more respect for movie making, or are some defend to the death fan, this is not the review for you. There's a good reason why the critics didn't like this movie, and that's because it was bad. Like, real bad. 

The best place to start is always the beginning. The opening to the film was very strong and extremely promising, and by that I mean the first forty seconds or so. Just like the rest of the movie, as soon as the base dropped it was just generic and disappointing. A real shame since I think everyone can agree Hugh Jackman was killing it. 

The exposition was solid, showing Hugh Jackman/Barnum’s life up until the actual meat of the story. Id come in thinking this movie was going to be about the circus, but at least the first hour give or take was just Barnum's childhood and his relationship with his wife. Fine by me, it was nicely done to show his and her characters as loving parents and how he is driven to provide for his family. The scene that really stood out for me in this section though was when the woman gave young Hugh Jackman an apple when he was out on the street. Any good writer would bring that back in a character, that's an act of kindness that clearly didn't go unnoticed. It got its own screen time, it must be important? Right? She looked like an outcast maybe that's connected to why he starts the circus! No, you will never see this woman or hear her spoken about ever again. It was just a pointless waste of time. 

Instead, Hugh Jackman tries opening a museum when he loses his job, but oh no nobody cares and instead of bringing back that act of kindness from forever ago its his child that suggests he gets “live things” in his museum. Okay, that's a pretty legit suggestion. Why he thinks of “freaks” is never explained but he does and starts to recruit acts.

This is where the movie starts to derail.

About halfway into the film we meet the actual circus performers, the outcasts. Except we don't ever really meet them. We see their faces and they sing for us but dont ever expect to actually get to know anything about these people because you never will. Basically we’re just told that these people are outcasts an nobody accepts them. But we’re never shown that. Its the classic case of show don't tell. 

Now, what do I mean by that? We meet the bearded lady first? I think? Whose name I couldn't remember but she was played by the wonderful Keala Settle. (I don't remember anyone's name but Barnum, cause that's how much character they clearly had) We’re introduced to her working in a laundry factory with a bunch of other women. Hugh Jackman finds her because he hears her singing through a window and as soon as he enters the room all the women warn him to leave. He doesn't and find Keala washing in the back covered by a sheet. Now, this scene could've been a really good opportunity to show Keala’s struggle as a bearded lady. Everyone thinks she's ugly and all that. But it doesn't. Instead, when she’s revealed the ladies laugh and that's the end of it. Its not even that bad because immediately after Hugh Jackman is like ‘I think youre beautiful come to my circus’ and for some fucking reason she agrees even though she’s clearly self conscious and wouldn't want to be thrust in front of people but for the sake of the plot okay.

The only other character we get to see Hugh Jackman personally confront is the man with dwarfism played by Sam Humphrey. Not much happens to characterise Sam since its in a private place and actually, before that scene, Hugh Jackman had already seen him in public. Literally nobody said anything about his height, everyone just went about their day like there's nothing different about him. If you're going to try and make these people seem like outcasts, SHOW ME THAT. Don't just fucking tell me that they’re outcasts and expect me to believe it because to someone like me in twenty eighteen I don't look at someone like that and think ‘wow they're so weird and funny looking’. If you don't show me it in the movie, I'm not going to think it on my own. See the problem? 

Then there's a little time sequence where Hugh gathers all the other performers but none of them matter because they'll always be in the background unless they’re Zendaya or Keala. 

Then we get to meet Zac Efron, who isn't that bad but doesn't really do anything substantial in the film except fall in love with Zendaya for no reason. Anyways, we meet him at some play thing where Hugh Jackman talks about how he admires his work and the Zac Efron compliments his work and they bro it out enough to go get drinks together where Hugh tries to convince him to join the circus business with him. From what I remember I think Hugh wants his status? Or something? And Zac Efron wants to be free from all these elitists and together they re hash the song “I Don't Dance” from High School Musical 2. 

Zac Efron agrees to join the circus after a drunk debate and that's that. All that stuff he sang about, all the things he worries about, it doesn't matter because none if it comes back to haunt him the rest of the movie. 

Which brings me to the one scene that pisses me off. It's a bit of a jump ahead so to back up a moment, Zac Efron and Zendaya have this forced relationship which we never really get to see at all. They had this laughably cheesy love at first sight moment when Zac first walks into the circus theater and then nothing ever happens between them, except I think the writer just wanted you to assume there was?? I have no idea and I hate it. I want to love these characters, but they’re non-existent and so is their relationship. 

In fact Zendaya character is even more non existent than Kealas. For starters shes given me no reason to assume shes an outcast in this society other than the fact that she's black. Her only reason to be part of this group of people is because she's black, but, because this movie for some reason doesn't want to talk about race shes given no motivation for being here. Not once is someone outwardly racist to her (Except in the scene that pisses me off which Ill get to in a moment). That's so out of the time period! Do you see why this is such a confusing mess? On one hand the writer wants it to be the late eighteen hundreds cause that's when the story takes place, but on the other they want it to resonate with the twenty seventeen audience. So basically they want to make outcasts in the eighteen hundreds, but don't want to acknowledge why they’re outcasts in the eighteen hundreds. News flash, its racism, sexism, and bigotry. Apparently we can't write anything like that in twenty seventeen because people will just get offended. Fuck off whoever wrote this and get the balls to give it the depth it needs. 

The one time that someone is outwardly racist to Zendaya's character is when shes on a little date with Zac Efron and he meets up with his parents walking opposite ways on the stairs. His parents express concern for him and then call Zendaya “the help”. Which makes sense for the time and is clearly racist, but like really? That's it? And then Zendaya doesn't even get the scene! She gets upset and storms off which gives the scene over to Zac Efron and his struggle with his parents rather than Zendaya's struggle as a black woman in the fucking eighteen hundreds! 

I just cant be sympathetic for characters I don't know. These people don't feel real, their struggles feel synthetic and tacked on as their only attribute. Some might think that the protesters are an accurate portrayal of how their treated in society. I disagree. The protesters aren’t protesting the performers, they’re protest the show, which leads me to believe that they care for the performers. I know that's not true and that's not what I'm supposed to be lead to believe. Just some more bad writing. 

This war between the two plots, the Barnum life plot and the performers life plot, makes this movie a confusing struggle to watch and the longer it went on the more I just found myself gagging and just wanting to walk out of the theater because it wasn't worth the rest of my time. 

Especially with Rebecca Ferguson's character whos an opera singer who doesn't sing any opera. She is the most pointless character in the entire movie. You could remove her from the movie entirely and it would still be the same movie. 

We’re introduced to her when Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron go to meet the queen and have a fancy dinner and Hugh manages to convince her hes fancy enough to host a show for her in America. She agrees and they have the show and she kills it with the only decent song in the movie because it's the least generic pop song out of all of them. Even over the ‘This is Me’ song which is completely random for its placement in the movie and doesn't drive home the message it's trying to because, psa for writers, to have a powerful message you need to start with powerful characters. I want to feel for these characters, I really do. Kealas voice is so emotional and passionate but I can't get behind it because the song was poorly timed and generic and also none of the performers have character. 

Woah, going off on a tangent a little, but back to Rebecca Ferguson. Her character had two purposes for the plot that I could figure out. One being the scandal with her and Hugh Jackman to create a rift between him and his wife which was..stupid. I have no better word for it because why the fuck did she think they were going to fall in love? Like bitch hes a married man and this is a business trip why are you making a move? Not only did she make an inappropriate move on Hugh Jackman, but she got fucking upset when he refused her too. Like what did you expect to happen? Honestly what did you expect? Then she proves shes a bitch by forcing herself on him and creating the scandal after their picture gets taken when she kisses him. 

Of course said picture gets in the papers and for a moment I perked up and thought ‘oh finally some plot drama’ I was desperate for anything good. But don't get too excited. You might think ‘oh no his wife is going to see that and leave him because he's cheating’. Yes, that does happen. For about twenty minutes. Then they sing a song together and everything's fine and the scandal is never brought up again. Apparently nobody cared and everything is sunshine and rainbows. 

Except! For plot point number two that Rebecca's character provided which was the rift between Hugh Jackman and the performers. Which, I don't know why they thought he should be around twenty four seven because clearly hes a businessman why would he just hang around. But anyways, the performers get a little miffed when he chooses Rebecca Ferguson over them to make money. Literally nothing happens with this plot point.

The performers are shown being angry with him and his choices, but they never try to confront him about it! Barnum is never challenged as a character because nobody challenges him. Everything just works out in the end. He comes back after leaving Rebecca Ferguson in the dust and it's like nothing changed. The performers just forgive him and when the theater burns down they all have some cheesy heart to heart like nothing wrong ever happened. Nobody ever confronts anybody and everything is happy and right because family or something.

Making Rebecca Fergusons character a pointless waste of time because both of her reasons for existing in the plot are POINTLESS. 

Which brings me to my final points about the movie that mostly centers around the fact that none of these “characters” change in any substantial way. The main character, Hugh Jackman, always has everything work out in the end no matter how shitty hes been and everyone just forgives him unconditionally. The performers never really had any tangible obstacles to overcome. The audience was constantly told that they had soooo many hardships in life, but was never shown that on screen or even in dialogue. There was absolutely nothing for these characters to apparently overcome. Which is just boring.

The historical accuracy was non existent. There was no racism or sexism or anything of the like. I don't like seeing that as much as the next guy, but if that's the time period..that's the time period. You can keep it tasteful and accurate and still relatable. 

Tacked onto that is also the music. It was disappointing and too modern. Like I get bringing modern into the past, but at least make it something innovative. Not just generic pop songs that were put through the Fall Out Boy factory and supposed to be “so emotional”. 

This movie is jumbled and confused and lacking in a lot of areas. Its hollow where I'm supposed to feel empowered and its shallow where I want it to be meaningful.

Basically, I can see where the critics are coming from. This movie is garbage with a lot of wasted potential. Why did it do good with audiences then? Probably because they're just looking for good entertainment. This movie did that. Surface level entertainment and nothing more. But for a critic? Someone whos seen so many movies good and bad and know the ins and outs of a truly magical movie, this was bad and held nothing of value. 

Such a shame because it was such a good premise. 

[bdub86]

blackfoxx

The white male style of debate is to antagonize you until you snap. Then they win by default, because they make up their own rules in which being upset automatically invalidates your argument. The key is also to argue about things that they have no stake and experience in, so they dont snap first. Of course in the event that they do snap first, its of course passion, not anger…

White people are like little kids who make up new rules and obnoxious powers to keep themselves from losing….

At the end of it all, they are happy that you are so civil and can debate things rationally and clearly without getting upset. Everyone shakes hands and thanks everyone for being able to discuss “conflicting” viewpoints. Because after all everyone needs to hear the opposing side to truly be sophisticated. Even if you’ve heard that side all your life and it completely devalues you as a human being.

What i hear is that the mark of civilization to white people is being dehumanized and taking it like a champ.

They also have little to no concept of power dynamics in these ‘sophisticated” discussions.

sentforwho

Why I stopped indulging people who followed this argumentative “format”

controlledeuphoria

This is so real and applicable to every dinner party I’ve ever been to

eviltessmacher

This is a particularly aggressive form of Sealioning.

Sealioning is the name given to a specific, pervasive form of aggressive and willfully intentional cluelessness, that masquerades as a sincere desire to understand.

A Sealion is someone who, when confronted with a fact that they don’t care to acknowledge, say, the persistence of systemic racism in America, will ask endlessly for “proof” and insist that it is the other person’s job to stop everything they are doing and address the issue to their satisfaction.

The purpose of Sealioning is never to actually learn or become more informed. The purpose is to interrogate. Much like actual interrogators, Sealions bombard their target with question after question, digging and digging until the target either says something stupid or is so pissed off that they react in the extreme. The other major reason why people hate Sealioning is because responding to it is a complete waste of time.

It’s an insidious trap. Responding to questions asked reasonably is, of course, a natural thing for people to do. I like to do it myself; educating others is generally pretty entertaining, especially if they are receptive to learning. Dismissing those questions can appear condescending or rude, especially if you actually are condescending or rude.

Of course, these questions are not asked because the person asking them genuinely wants to know the answer. If they did, they would do their own digging based on your statements, and only ask for obscure or difficult-to-discover information. This is the “debate principle”. It is best explained thusly: When you go to a debate, you educate yourself on the topics at hand, and only request evidence when a claim is either quite outlandish or unflinchingly obscure.

No, these questions are asked to make a responder waste their time. It works, too; I’ve responded to Sealions before, answering all their questions and claims for evidence, only to be greeted by even more willful ignorance. It’s a way to force people into responding to questions phrased neutrally but asked in bad faith.

The name “Sealioning” comes from a most splendid webcomic, “Wondermark”, by David Malki.  

It can be found here: http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/873260-sea-lioning

Sealions are just “asking nicely” but they are asking questions that have been asked and answered fully many times, and are unwilling to so much as open a new tab to look up the answer, nor will they recognize the validity of your sources, your experience or expertise no matter what you do. It is impossible to satisfy a Sealion.

Make no mistake.

Sealioning is a specific form of harassment. You may not explain their inquiry has already been address. You may not cite a source. You may not refer to a previous answer. You definitely may not ever point them to a link. You must spend all your time and energy responding as much as you can to every little details of every innocent, polite little question they ask. Sealioning isn’t a sincere attempt at anything. It’s a calculated technique to grind an opponent down.

digitaldiscipline

If any of my followers feel like you’re being sealioned, I can play elephant seal and help destroy them.

mightyviper

Not only is this a thing, it’s actually something various hard right groups are teaching their members to do. It’s essentially just never backing down no matter what, never admitting someone else is correct, and always try to force the argument onto the path you want to go down. So I’ve found the best way to combat it is:

A) Call them out on their inability to admit they were wrong. This sounds pretty simple, but it’s very easy to get dragged into whatever they say next instead of just pointing out that you’ve proven their first point is bullshit yet they’re still yakking on.

B) They try to box you into a corner? Box them back. If they won’t accept a link, laugh at them for failing to understand it/read it. Call them out for trying to veer the conversation in another direction without yielding the point. Specifically state that you see their cheap tactics and find them weak and a sign of a poor debater.

C) Never let them move onto the next question. Demand they answer yours instead. Why should they get to set the terms of the debate? Why is it always them who deserves explanations?

D) Suggest that they’re arguing in bad faith. That they don’t really want an answer. And if they say no way? Then point out that someone arguing in good faith would do all the things they refuse to. They’d read links and evidence. They’d agree on at least *something*. And failing that, they’d walk away. Good faith arguers will reach a certain point and then just say agree to disagree. But these guys? Won’t. They will not leave it alone no matter what. That’s the hallmark of a sealion trained to demoralise us.

And when they indirectly admit that, you call them out on it.

Then you don’t leave it alone. Hound that fucking sealion until he honks for mercy.

prettyarbitrary

I can understand why ‘discourse’ turned into a bad word, because this is how we’re taught in academia.  It’s debate, argument as a game.  When you’re kicking around literary criticism in a classroom, the stakes are (or at least seem) so low that to get really worked up about it is just silly.  In that context, when somebody loses their composure, it’s easy to see it as grounds for disdain.  And even more, you’re actively taught to keep your cool, because if you get emotional then it will cloud your ability to think clearly and you might find yourself descending into ad hominem attacks and other crud that’s foul play in a formal debate.

What they failed to drill into us was that when you take that behavior out into the real world with you, apply it to issues that actually have lives hanging in the balance, it becomes oppressive and abusive.

I look back to realize that this used to be me, and all I can do is hope I didn’t hurt anyone too badly and be thankful I grew some good sense.  But that didn’t happen through people engaging with my antics.  Doing that only meant you were playing the game with me (god, what a snobbish mentality that was).  No, I had to learn better through shutting up and listening to peoples’ stories and coming to understand that to them, it wasn’t a game at all. That unless all parties agree to the rules, you’re not having a debate, you’re just being an asshole by arguing with a stranger who didn’t ask for it. That peoples’ safety, health and happiness are not issues that are up for argument.

So yeah. If you find people who argue this way, tell them to go read some books and educate themselves before they come back and try to talk with you. Or if this sounds like you, consider rethinking your approach and doing something useful with all that critical analysis you’re so proud of, like turning it on the problems they’re facing to help find ways to make their lives better.  And maybe driving off the occasional asshole who still thinks they’re in debate club.