#I don't typically queue posts but I'm very tired and I don't think I'll be able to handle writing this out or rereading it in the morning

[emometalhead]

I write something like this every year. In all honesty it's hard for me to talk about Chester. I think about him every single day. It's now been six years without him, and it still doesn't feel real that he's gone. I still don't know how to cope with it. I still can't think about him for too long without crying.

Chester has been such an important figure in my life for as long as I can remember. I was raised on Linkin Park. They will forever be one of my favorite bands even if some songs are too painful to listen to now. My own mental health journey has been difficult. I'd be lying if I claimed to be doing totally fine, but I live each day trying to honor Chester's memory and make him proud. He's a big part of the reason I am who I am, and he's a big part of the reason that I'm still here today.

If you see this, please give someone you love a hug. Tell them you care about them. Cherish the moments you have with the people that matter. Listen to your favorite artist and keep them in your mind for a while. Do something nice for yourself. We all owe it to ourselves to allow some kindness in our lives. In words that Chester once sang, "when life leaves us blind, love keeps us kind".

[pceexistsinthevoid]

sorta helpful/sorta not "about me" post

I was in the mood to come across really catty when i first wrote this. i've tweaked it since, but it's still there. sorry.

(last updated: 11/14/2024)

General info

Name stuff:

"pce" (my initials) is the main thing to call me

you can say the individual letters or pronounce it like a word, i don't really care

i am a member of the lowercase name club, though, thanks

Pronouns:

basically any pronouns (I always include the "basically" because i do, ultimately, have my limits, but i promise they're not limits that are easy/feasible to cross if you're the type to care about using the correct pronouns)

Age:

I tend to be both older and younger than people assume. (over 18. legally an adult somehow. I don't really specify beyond that for very "fun" reasons.)

Boundaries/reasons i might block you:

vast and unknowable. (if you make me tired just thinking about you, there's a good chance you're gonna be blocked idk. same with if you're not good at distinguishing yourself from a spam/porn bot)

Location:

The Void, generally. (born, raised, and currently residing in the upper midwestern united states. whatever you assume about me based on that, you're probably correct. unless you're not, but idrc either way)

Other social media:

letterboxd, if you wanna see me in the grips of my various fixations

i have other things, but am not willing to share them. don't even worry about it.

Appearance:

This is pretty much all you'll ever get

if you want to picture the rest of the person making these posts, fwiw I'm white/blonde haired/blue eyed/5' 10".

i am also extremely hot, you're welcome. (sometimes that's a joke, sometimes it's not. i'll go along with whatever you want it to be within reason)

Preemptive responses to questions based on my observations of how people interact on social media

"What specific mental illness and/or neurodivergence do you have?": that's for me to know and me to find out.

"why do you talk about/reblog stuff that talks about politics I disagree with?": because I want to.

"You're not funny": cool. If I were making jokes for someone like you I'd read your diary or bother to listen while you spoke.

"i wanna give you medical advice based on the things you describe and/or reblog": don't. i won't immediately think you're a bad person, i just won't listen to/take said advice and think that there's probably (read: definitely) better ways to spend your time.

"am i annoying you by making myself known to you?": not inherently, no. I am a standoffish little weirdo, unfortunately, so i see how you might get there, but, i mean...i generally leave asks/reblogs/replies on for a reason. i'm not naïve about how this site works. if you talk to me with the respect you should have for any person, i won't have much of an issue with it.

"how often are you actually here when you're posting?": sometimes. when i see a long hiatus incoming i typically try to warn you, but obviously i can't always do that. i never tag the queue, though, bc i just kinda don't want to.