#I don't remember if Cu's son was Connla

[realtasuantrai]

this is a big headcanon post, so it's under the cut.

to start off with, my interpretation of cu chulainn takes from both his mythology and the fate series' interpretations of him along with headcanoning out some things i do not agree with.

if he gets angry, things will either burn or get scorched depending on how angry he is. when he learned of the right of first night, he burned the cushions he was sitting on because that's his wife, you fuck, you aren't getting the first night with her- he melted snow within a 30-foot radius of him because he was pissed off. generally keeps his temper under control because explaining that he's literally going to burn things if he gets angry is difficult.

he's not as underweight as he's put down as in canon. he's more around 90kg due to the amount of muscle he has, because you do not go through scáthach's hell training and come out looking like a stick.

his facial features show that he isn't quite human himself, given to his heritage as lugh's son (and a demigod). cu is classified as "dragon in human skin" because his features do look vaguely draconic in nature. he has sharper canines, smoking is "akin to breathing actual fire" and isn't a detriment to him as his lungs are made for it, his muscles are much more bulkier than a normal human's, he has claws instead of just regular nails (which he is very careful with) and his sight is more than excellent.

also, in terms of what i've headcanoned out/edited due to my own preferences of his legends:

cu's relationship with fand. she and another fae, when he hit them, made him extremely ill and then whipped him half to death. he didn't fall for her because he'd been literally made ill by her for an accident (as i do believe he would've listened to emer instead of attacking the strange birds. there's reasons she tells him not to do things, he'd be stupid not to listen to her unless it's direct orders from the king) and beaten to near death. if there was anything between them, it was magically induced and not actually cu's feelings for her. i don't follow the actual lore behind this because i find it ridiculous and stupid he'd fall for the same person that nearly killed him.

yes, cu did sleep around. that i will not deny. however he held no feelings for anyone other than emer. he treats women with the utmost respect and care because they are equals to him. though he held emer in the highest regards, as she was his first and only love. she's the light of his life, his entire world. and he only ever loved her.*

he is absolutely traumatized by the fact an entire training battalion was slaughtered by Medb when he was in a magical three-day sleep after being awake for months to fight her armies thanks to lugh. he regrets being unable to fight and make sure that they didn't die, and holds himself responsible for their deaths.

cu did not have a son by aife. he was made to believe connla was his son, but he was not. i don't care what lore says, that didn't happen for my cu.

*in regards to rps, cu still holds lingering feelings for emer but he knows the dead can't come back to life. it allows him to "move on", essentially, but she's a vital part of his life that he'll share with anyone he falls in love with.... but he'll treat them with the same respect and care he would give emer if she were still alive.

so yeah. this is a literal full thing about my headcanons for cu. i don't really like... remember the rest of them right off the top of my head so i might make other hc posts about him later down the line. but for now, this is the comprehensive list of "rea doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, but is doing his best."

[madillhethen]

There is something to be admired about that. The ‘how’ is very important in real life situations. Why is not always something you want to look at. Though understandable Shirou/Archer does look at the ‘why’ a lot due to their survival's guilt and that in itself is valid too.

But ah, I guess on a more personal note, if someone got cancer in your family, you wouldn’t or they wouldn’t be so consumed in the thoughts of ‘why did this happen to us/me’ it’s more ‘how are we going to deal with this?/how will we move forward for worse or best case scenario etc.’

I---I wouldn’t personally consider ‘Let it be’ a manly trait, Shirou...I feel that can fall into the toxic masculinity that men shouldn’t have like worries or feelings on matters. It’s perfectly fine to be one way or the other.

Then again, who am I too preach to good ‘ol Shirou the boy who self-loathes himself so hard that a future variant came for one purpose of killing himself.

Hmm, Shirou, I think there is a LOT to learn from the heroic spirits. Not any one of them are about hating each other. Not every enemy is evil or brings about disdain--Saber even told Bedivere this in FGO, ‘just because they are our enemy does not mean they are evil’ which means they do not warrant hatred.

I once read someone saying they loved all the servants in Zero/UBW (anime they were talking of) because not a single one of them resents one another and I agree. They have beef, they get along, they might bicker but they all understand that each and every one of them are essentially here for the same goal, or were somehow whisked into the Throne of Heroes unwillingly. No one hates one another because they are enemies. Iskander and Gilgamesh got along, Diarmuid and Saber, Cu and Archer, Medusa and Saber (kind of). hell Sasaki hated Medea and he was her ally lol, heck, Gilgamesh and Cu hated each other and they were allies. 

I feel that’s....a foreshadowing, huh? I don’t remember in any myth of Cu killing someone close to him besides mainly his son, Connla, but heck that can’t really count because the idiot didn’t recognize his son (that’s what you get for fathering a child as a teenager and ditching the mother only for your son to come back and fight you--reverse Oedipus except Cu killed his son and uh nothing creepy with Emer and Connla). Well, some variations of the myth, says Cu killed his best friend, I think?