#I don't know what the succinct tag is for that

[holy-puckslibrary]

━ 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞. 

main masterlist

pairing(s) — JAMIE DRYSDALE x reader (est. relationship) wc — 1.5k synopsis — jamie can’t keep his hands to himself, and neither can his girlfriend. (prompted on this ask)

note — title’s from summertime by bon jovi + yes, this is a re-upload from the main blog (@holy-pucks) since nothing of mine posted there shows up in the tags. if you’ve already liked or shared that post, i would really appreciate you doing the same with this new one :) thx a million in advance! xx 

specific content warnings listed below the cut.

cw — alcohol consumption/tipsy!reader x tipsy!jamie, accidental exhibitionism (jamie getting handsy at a bonfire bc he just can't resist lol), suggestive lang + innuendo, + general fluffy filth but nothing super explicit really, pretty tame for me tbh 

jamie drysdale has never been so pleased to have lost a fight in his entire life.

he didn't think it'd get cold enough to warrant lugging around an extra blanket (meaning him, not you—he's a gentleman). you thought otherwise, and pestered him until there was one neatly folded in the backseat.

objectively speaking, jamie was right; it wasn't even chilly. he was actually a little warm, if he was being honest, but that had a lot more to do with his wandering, beer-soaked mind than the weather or a superfluous layer.

—and he had a tent in his pants to prove it.

it's his own fault. he pulled you into his lap when there were more than enough lawn chairs scattered around the blazing fire, knowing full-well you fidget when you're tipsy. jamie knows you can't sit still to save your life, yet he sat you across his thighs anyway. and now he—and his raging hard-on—are paying the price.

he isn't embarrassed he's turned on, that's not the problem. that's never the problem. you've been dating for years, and anyone who's shocked by the effect you have on him has bigger problems than jamie's attraction to his own girlfriend.

it's the fact that he's about ten seconds away from pulling your suit to the side and rutting into you in the middle of a public beach with his friends not even a foot away.

someone across the half-moon crowd says something that makes you laugh—makes you wiggle. jamie's hands tighten on your hips to keep you still, but, by this point in the night, his body is too lax to be of much help. if anything, the impassioned touch eggs you on, and it isn't long before his hips are moving to match your mostly-involuntary movements.

jamie hisses through gritted teeth, jaw clenched so tight it aches. "baby, quit it—please."

fluttering half-lidded eyes meet his, clock his internal struggle, and immediately twinkle with mischief. under the guise of shifting your attention, you rub the outside of your thigh against the bulge threatening to tear his trunks.

"quit what?" you ask with a demure smile, your hands looping themselves around his neck. warm fingertips play with the feathered locks tickling his sunburnt neck, making him shiver.

"you know what," he glares. "i don't know when we'll get back home, and you're driving me insane."

"touch me here."

blinking in disbelief, he balks. "w-what?"

"touch. me. here."

each word is punctuated with a chaste peck to his ever-reddening cheek. the succinct affection bounces you in his lap, and jamie can't help but slide his hands further beneath the sandy blanket. at first, to halt the infuriating friction but, like usual, once his hands wander he just can't stop. consequences—and shyness—be damned.

"s'not a good idea." jamie nips your jaw, dotting a line of warm kisses along your neck, stopping once his nose brushes your ear. "my baby's loud as shit, and i'd rather not have an audience."

you swat his chest in offense, but giggle nonetheless. "am not!"

"are too." he smiles up at you.

"i can be quiet," you huff, determination furrowing your brow.

jamie reaches up to smooth the crease with his thumb. you catch his arm and press a sweet peck to the inside of his wrist. he shudders.

you hum into his skin, "i think you're projecting."

"that right?" your boyfriend feigns ignorance, amused.

"let me prove it," you whisper before leaning in to kiss the tip of his nose. with your forehead flush to his, you try again. "please, jamie. i can't wait anymore—and i certainly can't wait until t strikes out with whoever he's obsessed with this week."

jamie snorts.

you make a solid point; it could be another ten minutes or upwards of two hours. his guess was as good as any—trevor himself included. jamie's really starting to hate that him finally fucking his own girlfriend hinges on his best friend's ability—or inability—to seal the deal.

"you make even a peep, and i stop. got it?"

what's the worst that could happen if he indulges you a bit? no one's even paying attention to either of you, anyway.

you nod, bottom lip pinched between your teeth. jamie tugs it free, fingertip dancing over the fresh indentations. your tongue slips out to tease his sun-soaked skin, and it isn't long before the digit is flush to your hot tongue.

jamie's eyes are almost black with lust as they watch your lips welcome and release his finger over and over again. your eyelids fall as he slips into a trance, mesmerized by your mouth.

"words, baby. gimme words," he prods, the words barely audible.

you surrender his hand with a faint pop, blinking down at him like you're already teetering on the precipice. "no sounds or you stop—i got it," you parrot. "now are you going to touch me?"

"needy, needy, baby," jamie teases after stealing a kiss. "i've spoiled you rotten, haven't i? can't even go a couple hours without begging me to touch you... s'alright, i can barely keep my hands of you. 'specially when i've got you sittin' all pretty in my lap like this."

"—jamie, please, just... just touch me already—need t'feel you."

chuckling to himself, jamie mercifully pushes the sodden material out of the way. he nearly moans at what he finds.

how much of it is from the evening dip you took with a couple of the other girlfriends, it's hard to tell, but he'd put good money on it being little to none. no, the damp patch growing in his lap is all you. sweet and warm, and perfectly you.

you gasp when he collects some of the escaped arousal with a few of his fingers. jamie raises a brow in your direction and you cover your mouth apologetically. he bites the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. you're trying so hard to keep quiet, it's adorable.

"—haven't even done anything and you're already breaking your promise," he chides. "how am i supposed to give you what you want when you're already misbehaving?"

"the other one," you breathe. confused, jamie hesitates. "give me your other hand."

you fish his free hand out from between your bodies and bring it up to your mouth. his eyes bulge out of their sockets once your intentions become obvious; you mean to silence yourself by sucking on his middle and marriage as he fucks you with the other hand. your back is mostly to the group, but he's still paranoid as all hell.

yet, jamie can't bring himself to deny you—or himself.

"you're gonna be the death of me," he groans as your head dips.

too turned on to care, jamie relents and slips a gentle finger into you. your eyes pinch shut, teeth catching on his other hand, but no sound leaves you. as a reward for your good behavior, he sinks in even further, until he's knuckle-deep at both ends.

his movements are much slower than normal, but, somehow, it doesn't matter. jamie's thumb seeks out your clit, sensitive and swollen despite its neglect, and he traces lazy circles between deep, measured thrusts. all the while, he mouths at your neck with little concern for what evidence he might leave behind. jamie's sole focus is making you feel as good as he does right now with his half-naked, hot-as-hell girlfriend writhing in his lap, her pretty pussy clenching around his lucky fingers.

"—j-jamie," you warble around his drenched hand, hips bucking into the other with what little leverage you have positioned like this. "—close, s'close."

oh, he knows. he can tell. jamie knows your body better than you do; he's a diligent student.

"are you, baby?" jamie can't resist a bit of taunting. you're too far gone to push back. "poor thing, what do you need from me? tell me what you need to get there."

you're slow to answer, overwhelmed by the sensations attacking your mind from all angles. somewhere along the line, a second finger was added... and then a third. the burning stretch aches so good your vision blurs.

jamie, jamie, jamie—the beginning, middle, and end of your thoughts—jamie, through and though. he's everywhere, but it's still not enough.

"my n-neck," you eventually gasp. "please—kiss my neck again."

your boyfriend is more than happy to oblige. lips latched to the tender spot just below your ear, jamie lets his hand take control of the pace; he's no longer content to drag this out. it's been a long day, and all he wants is to watch his pretty girlfriend fall to pieces in his lap.

your peak is ushered in by a series of pitiful little whines and whimpers, mostly muffled by his spit-stained hand, but jamie doesn't have the heart—or the sanity—to chastise you for it. if he had it his way, his mind would play those beautiful, broken sounds on a loop.

but the reverie is too good to last. it always is.

"get a room, you two!"

a chorus of laughter and vulgar remarks succeed trevor's call-out. and, hot under the collar, jamie's cheeks burn pink as he buries his face in the safety of your neck.

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[ohwatson]

Hie!!

Do you have any johnlock fic recs :3

( or parentlock, it consumes me )

Ooh so you want to go down this rabbit hole with me, then!

These are in no particular order, just fics I've read recently or just a handful of the many authors this fandom has to offer whom I respect deeply.

Parentlock has been all I've been reading for the last several weeks, honestly, been on a real kick & need it like oxygen!

I can't reccomend anything by JenTheSweetie on ao3 highly enough - her Parentlock is just deliciously in-character, witty and tangible. instruction manual not included and Immune to Your Consultations (feat. teenage Rosie, which we don't have nearly enough of in my opinion) have been my most recently read and are just *chefs kiss*

@lurikko also has written Ten Years (feat. scheming matchmaker Rosie) and A Weird Place (which is tagged 'Just raising their kid and being confused' and...yeah, succinct, brilliant summary, have re-read this one several times)

@arwamachine has written Indefinite Lines, a gloriously long post-S4 casefic featuring lots of lovely family dynamics between Sherlock, John and Rosie in between (one of the parentlock fics of all time, in my opinion) and I also got done reading Winning the Goat, which is so amazingly witty and comical and just generally wonderfully written.

Swan Dive by @hitlikehammers is 5+1 featuring an emphasis on the relationship between Sherlock and Rosie and is once again, brilliantly characterized and wonderful to read

Keep on Changing by philalethia is a good, spooky post-S4 parentlock fic (read it for Halloween, did not disappoint!)

I know @missdaviswrites has also written heaps wonderful parentlock stories and there are plenty of stories that feature Rosie as a character and lovely domestic/parenthood fluff out there on ao3 that I haven't listed (these are mostly ones I've read recently or that come to mind)

As for general Johnlock fics...! (Most of these, again, are what I've been reading recently or first come to mind)

until we fall asleep by @itsonlytext is set post-TLD and is angsty, tense, realistic, soft, quiet, and in-character all at once and is such a little hidden gem that not nearly enough people are talking about right now!

A Thrill Failed to Deliver by @jbaillier who I know by her dozens of stunning medical realism and angst fics, in my opinion never disappoints. Have never been happier to see an author come back from a hiatus, lol!)

An Ounce of Cure by @bakertumblings is another great medical realism fic, this time with John as the one getting hit with all the angst and whump

What it Can Be by @naefelldaurk is a spin on the end of TLD and offers a much more satisfying end, brilliantly in character and wonderfully paced.

@calaisreno just finished When Harry Met Mary which follows the events of S3/4 through Harry Watson's POV (brilliant fic for those who are sick of Harry getting reduced to nothing more than John's alcoholic sister; her role in this is brilliant, developed and enjoyable). Also read Déjà Vu which is part of her genius Off-Axis series (frankly in love with all of her AUs)

The Fallen series by @engazed is one I've started just recently but has already hooked me!

Thirst by @holmesianpose is another one I've just started, so not too far in, yet, but still wonderfully written thus far!

@gaylilsherlock wrote Cutting Out the Middle Man recently (along with the several other Johnlock fics they've been putting out at admirable speeds), featuring getting-together between John and Sherlock and Greg Lestrade as a wingman and the delicious Watson & Lestrade pub scene!

Double or Nothing by @crowson75 is a study in John's bisexuality, gripping casefic, wonderfully smutty and realistically characterized, post-S4 and finally sees these two idiots figuring themselves out.

Not a Johnlock fic (there is background Johnlock, though!) but instead it’s a Mystrade one, is The Habits of a Lifetime by @out-there-tmblr and is definitely a Greg x Mycroft story but also a beautiful and realistic 54k words of a Mycroft character study and is just too much of a favorite of mine for me not to put on a rec list.

I also highly reccomend anything written by @totallysilvergirl, @the-reading-lemon, @weeesi, and @7-percent.

Realizing so many of these are post S4 or S4 compliant but I just love some good fix-its, I suppose. Hope some of these are to your liking, as they are all certainly to mine :)

[astradyke]

hey so I've been a casual Dan & Phil fan for years but never really a part of the fandom. Recently started scrolling thru the tag and like...did I miss something? Have they actually said for real for real that they dated? Like I'm queer and tbh 2 gay guys living together for that long have to at least done *something* but I'm not an rpf person (no shade) but I do wanna be up to date on the Dan and Phil facts (phacts?) Obviously they're some kinda soulmates but tbh I know some queerplatonic soulmates who aren't *together* so idk if that's them or not. Am I missing receipts or is their relationship presumed given their whole situationship? Genuinely asking and no shade to your shipping intended.

hiya! i'll try to be succinct here but i might totally miss some things as a heads up :P

In Basically I'm Gay on the Daniel Howell channel, the same monologue that led to the description of them as soulmates also included the statement: "And that was when, through the magic of the Internet, I met Phil. And obviously we were more than friends, but it was more than just romantic [...] The relationship we formed, at that point, was something that I needed in my life." Despite "relationship" being a neutral, versatile term, the preceding sentence confirms they've been in an explicitly romantic relationship. along with that explicit confirmation, we also know from several other relics from 2009-2011 in particular that the two were at the very least actively flirting (I can retrieve a few formsprings for you that point to this if u want just lmk!). Additionally, in 2010, Phil made a privated video addressed to Dan that explicitly confirms a romantic relationship; this video was unprivated via a YouTube glitch in September 2011 and circulated heavily in late 2012. it was a serious incident that outed them and thus people don't talk much about it. I've never seen it in full-- it's pretty much off the Internet entirely due to copyright strikes-- and I really solely bring it up for context that they were dating at that period in time.

Basically I'm Gay only indicates a past romantic relationship, leaving their current one ambiguous, and both Dan and Phil's respective coming out videos state that they want to keep their personal dating lives private (both of these videos were released in 2019). Since then, though, there's one other explicit confirmation of their relationship-- I had a difficult time hunting down this exact interview in entirety, but my lovely mutual freckliedan helped me find the relevant screenshot:

[ID: In bold, the interviewer's text says: "So, just like a normal gay couple then?" Below, Dan's response is not in bold, and says, "Basically, yeah."]

I was able to find another screenshot at this post as well, which has the actual context confirming that they were discussing Phil previous to this. Now, obviously, this interviewer was a little forward in their questions, so I understand any reluctance in considering Dan's response-- however, Dan is a professional, and if he was sincerely uncomfortable with this line of questioning, I have faith in his ability to avoid answering it altogether. I therefore assume he knew what he was doing, and that this can be taken as a valid statement. This was from 2023 iirc.

Both of these excerpts-- from Basically I'm Gay and from this interview-- do suggest that Dan and Phil have a romantic relationship. On top of both of these more concrete confirmations, there's a lot more information/statements they've made public that corresponds with a romantic relationship, even if none of them are technically exclusive to romantic relationships.

A brief list: They've lived together for approximately 13-15 years, and bought a house together with a mortgage (for brevity's sake, I'll exclude other things that kind of pair with this). They make frequent sex jokes on their channel, several of which stating things about the other's sexual preferences. They recently went on holiday together, just the two of them, and given the tourism biz and how they discussed the holiday it seems like they were in a place intended for couples. Phil's sister in law, Cornelia, refers to Dan as an uncle to her child. They use pet names for each other. They frequently joke with the phandom, riffing off of jokes about their relationship (reacting to posts saying they are in a situationship, making a joke about having a joint toilet, etc.) This is most arguable, but it's highly likely that they share a bed as well (again, going off of the images/videos they've shown us of 'Dan's bedroom'). Lastly, other interviews with Dan include him being highly verbose about his relationship with Phil, but he's referred to him briefly as his "husband" in a long list of other words like "soulmates" and "just mates", ending with "who the fuck knows?", in one past interview (I have a picture of this but I can't attach it rn I can find it if you'd like though!)

It's not impossible that Dan and Phil's relationship isn't currently romantic, and even operating off of the assumption that it is, there's information we don't know about that (whether they're monogamous or polyamorous, for example, or whether or not they share a bed). It honestly just seems unlikely that their relationship is queerplatonic, given the past statements indicating that it has been romantic historically and the interview (+ supplemental evidence) suggesting that it currently is (I am very aware of the variation in QPRs, though, so I'm sympathetic to that interpretation from folks. However, I also understand that many explicitly romantic partnerships are considered to be QPRs-- in media or with real people-- in a way that contributes to gay erasure. It's nuanced and I am not the person best equipped to eloquently discuss it). Obviously, just to underscore here, we are not owed any information about their personal lives and the vast majority (if not the entirety) of the phandom just riffs off of the information they tell us, all of which happen to point to a romantic relationship. They clearly don't have any discomfort in us assuming this, and I personally don't believe they'll ever give us any more conclusive statement about their relationship any time soon, given that they've told us enough that the implication of a romantic partnership is pretty solidly there.

TLDR: Dan and Phil have "hard launched" (AKA released information that portrays their relationship as irrefutably romantic) 2-3 times. There is also other more indirect information that seems to confirm a romantic relationship, though if one wanted to, it could be read as non-romantic-- however, given those conclusive statements, and the current way they treat phandom commentary about their relationship (AKA not giving a shit), it is the effective conclusion that they are in a romantic relationship. Other conclusions, such as them being queerplatonic or them having broken up, seem to rely on a lot of critical assumptions, while the idea that they are in a romantic relationship is in line with their own statements as well as what we generally see out of them.

Thank you for your patience and your very kind ask! PS calling it "phacts" is funny as fuck, I did not utilize that verbiage here through my reply but you were a visionary for this. have a lovely one :D

PS. If any folks want to add, or if I missed something when glancing back over this and corrections are needed, please please please share! I am so deeply not a phandom history i am simply a little guy! much love

[dyed-red]

years ago now, i wrote a meta titled “dean’s body as a punching bag”. even though it was a somewhat long and comprehensive post, i thought of it as a ‘first draft’ in terms of my attempts to articulate dean’s lack of autonomy. because i knew i wasn’t quite getting it right, but after somewhat more competently having expressed some thoughts about the longstanding motif of sam’s bodily autonomy being violated against his will by external forces, i’d been trying to grapple with the comparable/companion motif for dean being violated with his permission by external forces.

and i’ve just - never seen it so succinctly or aptly expressed as this. autonomy vs. agency.

the motif i’d put my finger on was how dean is repeatedly beaten and assaulted specifically by people that he loves or trusts. sam is ghost-possessed by dr. ellicot? he shoots dean. john is possessed by azazel? slices and assaults dean. sam is possessed by meg? shoots dean. possessed by lucifer? dean’s face is pulp. soulless? dean’s body is vampire chow. heaven has decided to brainwash castiel? time to beat dean bloody. the british men of letters have decided to brainwash mary? time to try and shoot her kids and focus this murder energy on dean.

and the crazy thing to me was always that dean would often (not always!) submit to this in some way, sometimes as part of a more strategic play but sometimes not. sometimes just with a plea for mercy and nothing else. which gave me some brainworms because - what??? it still blows my mind when i think of it as the consistent motif that it is, one which plays out with each and every one of his closest relationships (except maybe bobby? having a hard time coming up with an example in that dynamic but memory is imperfect edit courtesy of Z’s reply: even with bobby, in 5x01 when he’s possessed and dean pleads with him).

and like i said, my thoughts on it were a first pass and poorly articulated, and i at the time hadn’t really thought about how “dean plays bait” is related to it, how he serves up his body as a tool or on a platter in service of the hunt and specifically to help his family, and i hadn’t really extended it to “dean’s body as a weapon” which is another comparable theme.

but Z so neatly synthesizes these ideas here (and elsewhere) into “dean-as-object” because - that’s all of it.

in the narrative, sam is most often presented as an agent who makes his own decisions, even if those decisions themselves are often in response to ways he has been violated or his autonomy has been breached. meanwhile, dean is frequently presented as an object whose decisions and choices are secondary or tertiary compared to what others have decided, including what others have decided for his body. dean will ‘choose’ to place himself up as bait or get on his knees and let someone he cares about break his face apart with their fists, so his autonomy isn’t violated in the same way as sam’s might be, because dean’s allowing it – but that allowing, that “choice” is really the surrender of his agency, something he’s been trained to set aside, in this and in so many other aspects.

which (tangent) is still what throws me about the s10 finale and onward, tbh. because much, although obviously not all, of these motifs of autonomy vs. agency disappear thereafter, or are upended. the s10 finale was apparently meant as a parallel to swan song, however poorly that came across, but it’s there in sam (dean) on his knees being beaten bloody by moc!dean (lucifer!sam) who is ready to launch himself onto a deserted planet (into the pit). the reversal places dean as agent and sam as object and their dynamic throughout the following seasons is altered through the way that the lead up to season 10′s finale developed.

and part of me likes to complain about late seasons writing but another part of me is fascinated by the domestic!bros married dynamic because it integrates the push and pull of what’s come before and requires that both of them are agent and object intermittently. and i think that hardcore sam stans balk at this sometimes because it’s so foreign for them to see sam willing to surrender (even when he does it a mature, healthy, compromise sort of way!) to dean’s will or wants when it comes to shared decisions. but that’s necessary as part of a healthy mutual dynamic, for there to be a give and take that acknowledges what the other wants as part of that give. i don’t really see sam as losing his agency in later seasons but i do see him submitting to dean’s more, and i think it gets mistaken as unhealthy when i see it as somewhat the opposite.

dean needed to be given space to make real decisions that are in the service of his own wants and not in the service of family, especially if they were ever going to learn how to coexist without those types of decisions being suppressed until they build up and explode into stuffing angels into his brother and lying about it. meanwhile sam needed to provide space for those decisions and wants even (and especially) when they contradict his own, for the same damn reason. they both needed to find a more even space in their dynamic if they were ever going to trust each other in the way they eventually really do (trust the other wants to be here as much as he does, trust the other respects and also trusts him too in the same infallible way).

anyway i don’t know that i’ve added anything of value here beyond what was already said but i’ll jump (impulsively, mostly) at any opportunity to reflect on the themes of autonomy (and agency!!) and the shifting dynamics of the bros.

What's your opinion on the fandom rhetoric about how Sam lacks bodily autonomy but Dean has it? I personally think it's weird that it's such a widespread idea when it's just blatantly untrue. A big theme for Dean's character is that his body is seen as a weapon or tool for others to use, so it's strange that people claim that he has full bodily autonomy.

(...okay, that the gif is by 'unfuckablebogtroll' is somehow very fitting.)

I think my main opinion of the fandom rhetoric is that there are a lot of batshit bitter sam girls who screech that dean is a meanie meanerton who doesn't respect sammy's presh 'tonomy and there are a lot of batshit extreme dean girls who wail about how sam is a meanie meanerton who, idk, waterboards dean in his spare time or whatever they're complaining about this week (I've unfollowed as many as I can of both camps), so for the most part both groups can be completely flushed down into the sewers of 'jesus christ, do you guys ever actually watch the show rather than circlejerk the same four arguments about it? ...no? oh. well, at least you're honest.'

So, with that said.

Yeah, obviously Dean lacks autonomy. But there's a difference between autonomy and agency, and I'm not going to pretend to have a super solid grasp on either (since a lot of philosophical debate [especially by fangirls] makes me want to jump into the aforementioned sewer just not to hear it anymore), but I can at least kind of make a stab, since you asked.

At least in the way I understand it (do you see all the caveats), bodily autonomy is literally getting to decide what happens to your body, including where it goes and who's inside it and what's done with it, and agency is general decision-making of like the brain sort -- what decisions will I make, who will I be, and so on. Both Sam and Dean are assailed on both fronts alllllll the time. Fandom folks tend to exaggerate those assaults on their preferred brother (because, for some reason, egregious victimhood is the only way you get to be a cool character?? what is that about.), but as with a lot of things in CW's Supernatural, the actual facts are a lot more balanced than fandom weirdos will admit.

Sure, Sam's got a bunch of autonomy assaults. Torture, possession, etc. Most of the time, though, I see his agency as pretty intact. He may not necessarily want to do some of the things he does (childhood hunting comes in here), but he chooses to do them. Is he manipulated sometimes? Sure. Lied to? Obv. But there's an essential steel pillar at the center of Sam and whether they're good choices or whether they're bad choices, he is the one who makes them, and he lives with those consequences. This is part of why the s9 thing with Gadreel is troubling: yeah, it's about bodily autonomy on one (more boring) level, but the much bigger problem is that Dean overrode his agency -- part of why I tend to believe that Sam's biggest objection is that Dean lied and then couldn't apologize for it, when Sam's agency is the most precious thing he owns. Now, he's a smart guy, and there are times his agency does take a blow because of some canon circumstance -- he doesn't want to do X but the world will end if Y, so X it is -- but for the most part Sam's solid and he can live with what he has to do. Though he won't pointlessly die of blue balls about it. What a silly stand on agency that would be.

Dean, meanwhile, doesn't actually have his bodily autonomy violated too much. By which I mean: of course, Dean-as-object is one of my favorite tags, of COURSE he's used as a meatsack and a weapon and a fuckdoll and all those lovely things. But he's very rarely literally possessed; he's holding the blade or the gun or what-have-you. That said, his agency is in the fuckin' gutter, haha, and that's more often what I mean by Dean-as-object. From childhood he's fully expecting to be told what to do, to be used as a pawn, to be used in other ways, to take on someone else's responsibility and make it his own and subsume his actual desires and wants for the good of... whoever. Usually John, but not always. This is something Sam doesn't really... do, that often. Sam might hate that he's making a choice but he does seem to understand that he is the one making it, whereas on Dean's part it so often feels like the choice is automatic -- of course he'll do what John says, of course he'll sell his soul, of course he'll... kiss some lady so the Qareen chases him instead. Now, are all those things tied to autonomy, too? Of course. But with Dean I feel like it's a bigger issue that his agency has been taken out at the knees ever since he was ~5 years old -- the autonomy problem is very much secondary.

Agency and autonomy are tied together and assaults on both happen relatively equally to both characters. What matters more is their attitudes about it, and their natures (whether they're essential or if they've been nurtured into acting a particular way). And, of course, there are different times in canon where these tendencies shift or even flip, e.g. in late s8 where Sam's certainty wobbles, or in s10 where Dean's autonomy w/r/t the Mark of Cain is really dicey.

Violated vs violable, victimized vs victim. A ton of it is in the eye of the beholder and OBVIOUSLY fandom will just sail off in its own directions any ol' way, depending on what shipping mood someone is in, how much projection is going on, what the phase of the moon is, etc. But generally speaking I find that Sam has a lot of agency in his life but often his autonomy is imperilled; Dean has a lot of autonomy but his agency is practically nil. At least for a while. What's nice is that Sam does have agency and he uses that agency to choose his own path in life, decide what he wants, and what he wants is -- a life with Dean. Dean maybe never really had a choice in the matter, but so what? He can stay in his bunker, and fight the monsters he needs to fight, and -- lucky for him, there's a strong hand covering his left side. What more could a cat ask for.

[royal-ruin]

f1 fanfic recs charles/carlos (charlos) part 4

other f1 fic rec lists here personal favorites are starred, by the way. everything is complete unless stated otherwise

in honor of carlos' win in the ausgp and his appendix removal (and his last year at ferrari, ignore me sobbing in the background), here are some of my fav fics of them.

if all of them are starred that just means they're all amazing.

i'll make you laugh by venerat (~7k)

[“You are cute,” says Carlos, waving his marker in emphasis. “Obviously. I am always saying this.”

“I am not cute.” Charles blinks at him. “When are you saying I am cute?”]

literally so adorable.

*what we felt by venerat (~14k)

[Imprinted, Charles should say, shocked. I hope he is alright. He should say that.

“My god,” he says instead. “On who?”]

so creative and amazing. def check out this author for more of other pairings, i know they have a bunch of hot smutty one-shots if you're into that.

*sweet tea in the summer by bloodmoonforme (~10k)

[Sometimes, when they first arrive at the circuit for a weekend, Charles will look decidedly paler, a little drawn. Then, he'll show up for FP1 on Friday seemingly much better all of the sudden, eyes unnaturally bright and cheeks red - that's how to tell how long it has been since he last drank.

Not that Carlos notices. Or keeps track of it, for that matter.

Except he does.]

Or the one where Charles is a vampire and Carlos struggles.

i don't remember this unfortunately, but i do remember loving it.

*the actor says he hates himself by bloodmoonforme (~5k)

[“You okay, mate?” Carlos asks, pitching his voice a bit louder in order to be heard over the music.

Charles doesn’t answer. Slowly, Carlos realizes that the way Charles is staring is one that he recognizes. It’s the same way he looks while he’s out racing, the same one he wears in the simulator. It’s a look of total focus. There’s something Charles wants and means to have.]

tags say that there's cheating so if you don't like that, don't read.

*dice che ti ama (ma lo sai che mente) by choripan (~3k)

[But Charles smiled, dimples out and about, back against the wall of Carlos’ driver’s room. Like he knew he wasn’t in danger.

Like he hadn’t entered a lions’ den looking like a three course meal.

(Like he knew Carlos was all bark and no bite, and toying with the metaphorical rubber band —stretch, stretch, stretching—wouldn’t ever make it snap into his straight nose.)]

kinda like a carlos-focused relationship study. it lowkey altered my brain chemistry for some reason

punctuated all wrong by Cloudcollector (~8k)

Prompt: "I don’t know if someone else agrees with me but I’m a sucker for the whole person A falls in love with person B but they think they don’t deserve person B’s love trope and I’d love to see how it would play out with charlos (not saying who’s person A and who person B, even though that should be pretty obvious)"

*the trials of 2022 by chiliconcarlos (~34k)

A partial summary of the 2022 season, as told by Charles or Carlos, following each race.

Friday is Just the Beginning by nottonyharrison (~3k)

On a Thursday in December, Caco had come to him with a proposal. A PDF attached to an email, emblazoned with the garish red Netflix logo, and consisting of a three paragraph, succinct concept that involved winter training, the mountains, and Carlos timing his schedule to overlap with Charles’ for a week.

On a Friday in January, he’s sitting in a private sauna long after the cameras have been packed away for the night, with Charles right next to him.

this is basically plot w porn, with a lot of carlos inner monologue which i love so enjoy!

Don't Do This To Me by pastrnaks_sainz (~2k)

[Carlos hands shake as he stares at his phone screen. The email from Caco is displayed and the brightness is turned all the way up. Like he’s being taunted. The big bold letters in the subject line might as well be saying ‘NOBODY WANTS YOU’ instead of ‘New Opportunities Ahead’.]

fair warning, one of the tags is hurt no comfort.

Loose Lips Sink Ships by kxleida (~2k)

Carlos finds out he's leaving Ferrari. Charles finds him in his hotel room, beer bottles scattered all across. They both know it's not fair.

A bit of hurt/comfort surrounding Charles, Carlos, and the Ferrari announcement for the F1 2024 silly season.

this isn't everything you are by shadil (~2k)

The news hit him again where he least expects it.

a prayer for which no words exist by transbrucewayne (~3k)

Charles has to assume Carlos knows by now; they should’ve told him. He doesn’t know how long they took to tell Sebastian, but it had been almost inevitable for him. He walked into the 2020 season with an air of resignation. With Carlos…everyone thought he was going to get another year, at least. Charles thought he was going to get another year. Then, Carlos would move to Audi, to the surprise of approximately no one, and the two of them would part, and Charles would spend the rest of his career smiling at him across the room, fist bumping him in press conferences, and never touching him more than the others deemed appropriate.

i know better (but you're still around) by shadil (~2k)

Sometimes, Carlos dreams about María.

He was his (but also he was not) by f1amboyant (~2k)

[Charles crossed his arms over his chest. “Why are you leaving?” he asked, no bullshit, staring straight at Carlos, peering into his soul.]

Shadowhunters AU

and the world was gone by Bluejay141519 (~12k)

It’s not entirely unfounded, having something like this happen. Charles knows of various stories of the past, where different drivers’ energies don’t mix well and it causes chaos. He’s even heard of magic being used to sabotage in F1.

Charles always thought these were just stories, until he got his seat.

tbh it's not completely relationship focused, but it's still amazing.

[pseudowho]

Agony Aunt Haitch

Okay, so...enough of you send me posts asking for advice now, that I think I'm going to start collating them here. I can't really believe I'm doing this. I did not intend for this. Laughing.

ADVISORY: I am not a limitless advice pot and nor am I counsellor trained-- if I don't think I have a good answer to give you, I will likely not respond.

Someone asked me, what's your work that has people asking you for advice and opinions?

Succinct Inboxes appreciated.

If anyone would like to weigh in on the advice given, please do so via comments, not further Inboxes.

If you'd like to block these posts, these will be tagged as #Agony Aunt Haitch and my usual Asks will be #Pseudowho Answers You.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Teacher took my conduct award away-- do I still attend Graduation?

Boyfriend won't let me wear his clothes...but he lets his female BFF wear them: Part One, Part One and a bit, Part Two, Part Three

Is it bad that I may never want to have sex? Is porn different from real-life intimacy?

Tell me stuff that's different in smut, compared to real-life intimacy? and a follow-on response, I've felt dicks twitch inside me! and another one, Yeah, me too!

I'm afraid I won't enjoy intimacy irl, and I sometimes feel overwhelmed during self-pleasuring

Best vaginal hygiene tips?

My baby sister is so much younger than me...should I try to build a relationship with her when I'll leaving home?

My lab partner is sexually harassing me-- help! and its follow on, Thanks Haitch-- I broke his nose

I can't let the guy I'm crushing on go...I think he's just shy!

I feel like I'm stagnating in my early twenties, despite achieving my goals-- help!

"You're such a b**ch!"-- Should I stop calling people out on their bullshit, to save their feelings?

My friend started stalking her Crush, and I called her out on it-- AITA?

My Crush got together with my shitty rich friend, ugh! Part One, Part Two and Part Three

In a room full of people, I'm still lonely-- but I hide it so well. What's wrong with me?

Should I approach my Ex for a second chance? Am I just desperate?

How do you and your husband manage conflict?

"it almost makes me feel like I'm loveable" bomb drop

How do you deal with anxiety?

How would you respond to coworkers/strangers who feel entitled to comment on your appearance?

Help! My clingy 'friendzoned' friend keeps touching me, and I don't know how to stop him.

My friend and I are crushing on the same guy...but I lied to preserve the peace. I still like him. What should I do?

[felagund-fiollaigean]

some general fic writing tips from someone who writes fic. (mostly for my good buddy @pizza-hats-of-the-world-1882 but also for anyone who wants some)

- just because you feel bad about something you've written doesn't mean it's bad.

- on the other hand, if you find yourself rereading fic you wrote for pleasure, that's a certain indicator that what you wrote is going to be good.

- & is for platonic and familial relationships. / is for romantic and sexual relationships. pick one.

- speaking of pick one, make sure you're using the same verb tense through the entire fic. i make this mistake all the time.

- the source material may be ignored for the purpose of contriving a plot for your fic, as is your prerogative. But Watch Out. "He would not fucking say that" looms ever closer. engage with the source material regularly. know the rules before you break them.

- if you don't put spaces between your paragraphs, or your fic summary is something like "sorry i suck at summaries," i will straight up not read it. sorry. do better 👍🏼.

- start in media res if that's what you want to do. many people write fic because there's a specific moment or scene they have in mind. if writing the lead up/conclusion to that doesn't spark joy, then don't bother. post it as is and throw an explanation into the author's notes. you don't owe anybody anything.

- talking to people who also write fic is good and cool for your friends and community but is also a good way to build a captive audience. just saying.

- this is just general writing advice but if you're stuck on a certain sentence or scene, back up a few beats and rewrite that bit from the start. also, anthropomorphizing inanimate objects or landscape is always evocative and kickass. try doing that for funsies. see how it goes.

- long fic is cool and all but if all you want to make is a drabble or short one shot, that is good and excellent and don't let anyone tell you different. there is virtue in being succinct.

- these are all my subjective experiences, so use them if you like, but really you can do whatever you want forever. that's the beauty of fanfic.

- (except for the relationship tagging thing. that's real. i'm not kidding).

[apollo-likes-writing]

June of Doom Day Four: Punishment

Fandom: Honkai: Star Rail

Character(s): Sunday, Gopher Wood/Penacony's Dreammaster, Robin.

Summary: After the events at Clock Studio Park, the entirety of Penacony is thrown into chaos. The Dreammaster is demanding answers; answers that Sunday does not have.

Word count: 1,536

Tags: Angst, whump (technically), abuse, physical abuse, threats, violence, manipulation, emotional manipulation.

Author's Note: I'm actually super proud of this one. Just as a note: the term "Master" is used but it is not in a NSFW context, don't worry. Also, is this just me projecting my hatred of Gopher Wood? Yes. Do I care? No.

@juneofdoom

Masterlist | Day Three

“Sunday.” 

The Halovian’s head snaps up from where he kneels at the feet of Gopher Wood: the current Dreammaster of Penacony. He was summoned by the figurehead earlier that night after Aventurine’s little tantrum. The giant crimson gash in Dreamscape sky formed by that Self-Annihilator is still fresh and weeping at Clock Studio’s Park, and it is Sunday’s fault for letting it happen. Or that is at least how Wood sees it. 

“Yes, Master?” The compliment is familiar on his tongue and sickeningly so. He forces himself to hold eye contact with the man above him as he lounges about on his now imposing chair. 

This is not the first time. 

“What happened tonight?” It is phrased like a statement, not a question – but Sunday answers anyway with practiced eloquence. 

“An Emanator of Nihility snuck into Penacony posing as a Galaxy Ranger, and the IPC ambassador – Aventurine of the Ten Stonehearts – took her in battle and lost.” The script he has ran through in his head is simple and succinct, just as the man above him prefers. 

“Unsurprising, but I am not asking you to tell me things I already know, Sunday,” Wood states plainly, lifting his hand and checking over the fabric of his gloves as if bored with the Oak Family head. Sunday’s eyes remain trained on the Dreammaster’s but it is an actual that remains unrequited. 

“I’m unsure of what you mean, Sir,” Sunday lies. 

“You know exactly what I mean, child.” 

He hates being called that. It is demeaning and implies inferiority. He supposes in this situation that he is inferior to Gopher Wood, but that doesn’t interfere with his distaste for the term. Not that he would ever be courageous enough to demand better treatment. Sunday knew what he was signing up for when he was a child, and he intends to follow that through. 

(He, in truth, had no idea. He was manipulated and groomed.) 

This is for Robin’s sake. 

That is the thought process he has now and is the exact same as the one he had during one of his first interactions with Gopher Wood when he was only that: Gopher Wood. He expects that it will be the same thought process he has for the rest of his life and beyond. 

“Do not make me ask you again.” Gopher decides to look at him now, the image of grace and neutrality. 

Sunday fights the urge to swallow the lump forming in his throat and instead attempts to mirror him. 

“Apologies, Master,” Sunday begins. “I’m not sure what you me-” 

A harsh slap sounds out in the large room, and it echoes nauseatingly back to Sunday’s ears as his head is whipped to the side. His cheek stings, but he doesn’t dare reach to his own face to soothe it. 

This is not the first time. 

Wood’s façade cracks slightly, showing visible anger and distaste before it reverts to its statue-like nature. 

Gopher sighs, voice clearly showing restraint. “You’re making me repeat myself. I hate repeating myself. I thought you would have learned this by now.” Sunday recognises that tone of voice and he can’t stop himself from freezing up. 

“You know what must happen now.” 

This is not the first time. 

Sunday nods. Slowly. 

“Yes, Master.” 

“Get up,” the Dreammaster commands. Sunday does so immediately, lifting himself up from the ground and standing resolutely in front of him; the image of elegance. One hand rests at his lower back, the other on his stomach as he watches the man in front of him. Gopher remains where he is, moving his hand to press a button that Sunday knows is connected to a microphone. He leans in and begins to speak. 

“Robin, dear? Can you come in?” he asks, voice melodious and full of pleasant timbre. It is a voice that Sunday hasn’t heard in a long time. 

What? No. This isn’t what they agreed upon. Sunday would take the brunt of Wood’s torment to protect Robin from harm. This is not what they agreed on all those years ago. 

“Master? What are you doing? You can’t hurt Robin. You promi-” 

Gopher cuts him off again. “Silence.” The younger Halovian immediately closes his mouth. “Do not speak again for your sister’s sake.” 

The Oak Family head itches to say something. To go over to that wretched man and destroy him from the inside-out with Xipe’s blessing. To rip those glasses off his face, shatter the lenses, and stab them into his vocal cords so that he may never speak to him or Robin ever again. 

He doesn’t do that, though. The consequences are much too dire. His fingers twitch in apprehension and Gopher shoots him a quick glare over the tops of his glasses as a result. He stops, and the door behind him opens to his sister’s kind voice. 

“Mr. Gopher Wood? You wanted to see me?” Robin asks, the smile she carries everywhere evident in the way she speaks. 

The Dreammaster smiles, and Sunday wants to rip it off his face. “Robin, my dear! Come here, will you? I have a present.” Robin does so gracefully, silvery hair cascading beautifully behind her as she walks in front of Sunday to stand dutifully before Wood. He stands and unhooks the chains connected to his glasses’ frames, taking them off. He folds them up neatly and hands them to the woman. “Keep a hold of these for me, okay? They’re giving me an awful headache and I don’t trust myself to put them down and not lose them,” he laughs. “Oh, and these too. You know how I am with losing things.” Gopher then proceeds to tug at the fingers of his pristine white gloves and takes them off, folding them just as neatly and placing them gently into the outstretched palms of the youngest of the two siblings. He reaches up with bare hands and closes Robin’s fist around the objects and smiles again, eyes warm. Sunday remains frozen where he stands, feet rooted to the elaborate tile flooring. 

Robin poorly conceals the confusion in her face and shoots a quick glance at her brother, who attempts to mimic the Dreammaster’s cheery smile. Always full of that childish innocence, Robin eventually returns the smile and turns and curtsies to Gopher Wood, who chuckles and quietly gestures the door in an act of dismissal. The woman understands and twists again to leave. 

It happens so fast that Sunday almost misses it. The Dreammaster lunges at Robin and grabs her. Is he going to kill her? He can’t. Sunday would kill him if he did that. The young man steps forward slightly, ready to protect his sister, only to be halted by a withering glare from Gopher Wood and the sight of what is happening in front of him. 

He’s hugging her. 

Robin freezes up, clearly taken off guard. Her face is concealed by Wood’s arms, so Sunday can’t see her expression, but he imagines it’s one of shock. An expression that probably mirrors Sunday’s own. Much to his horror, Robin eventually returns the hug, wrapping her arms around the man in front of her. They stay like that for a while and Sunday grows more and more antsy with every passing minute. Finally, he lets go, and gently grips Robin by the shoulder and tilts his body down so his eyeline matches hers. 

“You are like the daughter I never had. You know that, right?” he states, before gesturing to where Sunday stands statuesque. “Just as your brother is like a son to me.” At Robin’s nod, Gopher chuckles and ruffles her hair playfully. It seems mundane, but there’s an ominous undertone that only Robin doesn’t detect. She giggles and turns to leave a second time, smiling graciously to Sunday as she passes. The door eventually clicks shut behind him, and Gopher’s kind, fatherly persona falls in record time, replaced by his original rageful neutrality. 

“I will never hurt your sister, Sunday,” he begins. “As long as you do as I say. That was our agreement, yes?” The Oak Family head nods, fear now evident in his face. “Good. That will change if you continue to act out of line. Do you understand me?” 

Sunday nods again and Gopher storms over to him, pissed. The younger man steps back out of instinct. The Dreammaster raises an arm and punches Sunday across the jaw, causing the man to stumble and fall over backwards. Out of fear, he doesn’t move from there, only putting his hands below his body to support himself as he looks up at Gopher as he towers above him. The older man crouches down to Sunday’s level and grabs him harshly by his now sore jaw. He pulls him towards him, his face now inches away from Sunday’s as he stares him down. 

“Use your words, child. Do you understand me?” he repeats. 

With his voice muffled, Sunday lets out a weak “Yes,” and Gopher throws him back onto the ground. He stands back up to his full height and gazes down at him, lips now curling into a sneer. 

“Your dedication to your sister’s wellbeing is admirable, Sunday. Let’s see how deep that dedication runs.” 

[eybefioro]

Weekly fic rec, by yours truly...

Especial edition: BELOVED WIPS!

Hm. I should probably take out the "weekly" part of my fic recs lol I haven't been able to keep it weekly. The recs actually take a fair amount of time and mental space because I enjoy going in depth in what I feel/think, and these past few weeks have been 💫chaotic💫. But alas. I still want to share fic recs. Maybe I'll call them random fic recs or something. I'll see.

Anyways. Until now, I haven't recommended many longer fics (I have trouble being succinct and on point with fics, I ramble a lot. With longer ones it's even worse... how could I fit in a few paragraphs the experience when there's so MUCH to talk about?) and WIPs which is a crime. So this time I will rec 3 WIPs I'm following!! You have a 100% chance of finding me screaming in the comments of these works, bc they're truly marvelous!

Drive me to the moon by CaptainBlou and Elenthya

Rated E, ~23k words (for now!)

My tags: captivating, sweet, emotional

Summary:

At GOMENS, world-renowned sports brand and sponsor, one takes pride in endorsing the UK’s most talented athletes. On the other hand, one would like to ignore the fact that their two top of the bill, Aziraphale and Crowley, have heartily hated each other since the day they met. But what should be expected, when one knows these two? Aziraphale is a professional dancer, Crowley a rally driver. While the former switches between fierce competitions and prestigious stages, the other goes from one track to another across the world, clearing out every prize from behind the wheel of his racing car. Two beings, two worlds, two universes that everything should keep apart. But an unprecedented charity event is getting set up at GOMENS, and quickly, their own athletes will have to compete with and assist each other in turns. Two worlds, two personalities. But if they want to run for a cause that matters to the both of them, Crowley and Aziraphale are going to have to find an Arrangement.

THIS FIC. HAS ME ON CHOKEHOLD. I love it so much. I'm loving to read Crowley and Aziraphale finding eachother because they want to win a race. I didn't know I needed racer!crowley in my life, but I needed it. And the fact that they're nb speaks to me on another level. It is good to read a nb character being a loved, successful, and charismatic racer. And that doesn't mean they don't go through shit, and @captainblou addresses it wonderfully. And dancer!Aziraphale is so... amazing and human, honestly. I love the conflict he has between his craft/skills and his own perception of self. How he puts effort into being confident and brave despite his own hangups. Look, Blou's writing is a joy. It is really so good and emotional, and - I will stop now, JUST GO READ IT AND YOU'LL UNDERSTAND. The characters feel real and alive. Also!!! ALSO I CANT FORGET. THIS FIC HAS ILLUSTRATIONS BY THE AMAZING @searchingforakeythatdoesntexist . Her art is so good 😭😭😭 I can't begin to describe it.

Love As A Hallway And Several Novelty Mugs by holyflyingswisscheese

Rated T, ~25k words (for now!)

My tags: funny, light and sweet

Summary:

“You’re not…” Aziraphale trailed off warily, glancing at the hallway behind Crowley. Crowley nodded in grim confirmation. “E-33. Just next door,” he said with a sigh, motioning to his classroom a few paces down the hallway. “We’re fucking neighbours.” ... Science Teacher Crowley and English Teacher Aziraphale have hated each other for years, kept sane only by the distance separating Aziraphale's English classroom from Crowley's lab. When all that is undone because of renovations in the Science block, Crowley ends up placed right next to Aziraphale for the upcoming school year. What will it take to shatter the reasons behind their resentment and make them realise just how wrong they've been about each other?

I love @howmanyholesinswisscheese writing so much. The way he describes the feelings, the ambience, the setting is so lively, heartfelt. He says he doesn't write poetry, but he goes poetic so FAST. There's a paragraph in chapter 5 about Aziraphale's crow feet and laughter that just... is so beautiful. And this fic is so funny!!! I love how they bicker and are reluctant to share space but end up finding middle ground. How Aziraphale really tries to extend an olive branch and succeeds... how their friendship blossoms. It's such a good read, and so light and fluffy. I love it sm.

Sky Clear Blue by klikandtuna

Rated E, ~23k words (for now!)

My tags: enchanting, curious, emotional

Summary:

The collaborative brainchild of myself and @suzypfonne! This human AU features time travel/fuckery, neurodivergent Tenth-Doctor-coded Crowley, closeted Regency-era Aziraphale, lots of familiar faces, humor, angst, and FUN (both innocent and steamy). Join me on a new adventure! New chapters will be posted every Tuesday and Friday! (No, really. I promise.) Cover art by me 💛 (The Dream Team is back — myself writing, @suzypfonne beta-reading, and @sparkyshinymagpie coding the social-media conversations)

The first fic I've read of @klikandtuna was find the light (a recently finished wip! So double rec!) and it was delightful – such a hopeful story! So I was super excited to this one and let me tell you... it is so AMAZING. Really. The descriptions are magical, the concept is so interesting. I'm so curious to see we're this is going! I love how colourful Crowley is in this (as the author said to me, he has a lot from starmaker!crowley) while still being Crowley... and Aziraphale is caught in so many conflicts. Gosh I am so excited for the next chapters. Go read it!!!

These fics have been a source of joy for me 💛 reading them one chapter at time for some reason makes them even more special in my heart.

[themoonweaversden]

Messeges that were found so far: SOOS (spoilers)

This is just to collect all the codes that you can type in in thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com and their effects only (please click images for better quality)

Masterpost with all messeges / codes

Transcript:

"Sup Dude! Soos here, or as I call myself now "Mr Mystery," but I also call myself Soos too because that's still my name dude! Okay, so first, the GOSS, Tad Strange. Is Totally. Crushing on Woodpecker Guy. I ship it dude. I ship it HARD.

Anyway Mabel wanted me to write about the triangle guy? Dawg, homie is BAD. NEWS. Never trust a bro who can climb inside of your brain. And his book is sus and, to be quite frank, mid. I looked inside and just saw glitches and the words "HE'S UNCORRUPTABLE." What's that supposed to mean? At least holding the book made me look kinda smart, so 1/5 stars I guess.

Anyway Mabel told me to keep it brief, which is no problem for me, I love brievity! I can't get enough of it! Being succinct is like, super easy for me for some reason, I guess it's like a gift? Don't get me started on pithiness, let alone- oh dang I'm like, running out of paper?! LOL! That's what tape is for bro!

SOLVED!

What were we talking about? Oh yeah, my life as chief proprietor/tour guide/scam-magineer (Mr Pine's phrase) of the Mystery Shack! Running this place is an actual dream come true. To stop from pinching myself I asked Old Man McGucket to invent a Pinch-Bot but then it got loose and went on a pinching spree and had to be put down, heh heh. Wild times!

What's the shack like without the Pines? Well, it's got a lot more laser tag. And Questiony is back and MORE QUESTIONABLE THAN EVER! (Turns out all he needed was PANTS!) Every day I get to regale the children with yarns of enchantment and lore, and Melody set up this dope train that goes through the redwoods carrying baby goats. We're doing like... so good. Knock on on wood, but we're always saying "jinx" after talking and like, "anticipating each others emotional needs." Might be some little Sooslets on the way! WINK!

Mr Pines is gonna be away at sea for a while but he promised to not send me any postcards, which meant a lot to me. Dude is a real one! Anyway, I gotta go get some lotion for my cheeks. Abuelita and Melody have been pinching me at the same time a lot and it's starting to become a problem.

Look what I gotta deal with over here! Seesh! Stay cool, and if you're ever in Oregon stop by the Mystery Shack to see the local world record holder for the world's happiest dude. ME! Ha-ha!

-Soos "Mr Mystery" Ramirez

PS: Don't tell Ford that I got pudding on his cursed book!! Unless he likes pussing, then tell him to lick here ⟶

PPS: Did you know that you can turn any spoon into a spork with a few simple adjustments? I'll show you how any time dude!

PPS: If you see Bill, cover your head in tin foil and bring some ninja stars. And a bat, in case he ever accquires human flesh. Or in case you see a PINATA"

[best--dress]

Ten Questions for Writers

Thank you for tagging me @aristocratic-otter! 🥰

How many works do you have on AO3? As of this week - three!

What’s your total AO3 word count? 26,297, which seems low for a year's worth of writing, but I have a lot written for Who Are You In The Dark that isn't ready to publish yet

What fandoms do you write for? Just Carry On

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I am admittedly not the best at responding to comments. I get sort of overwhelmed by people saying nice things about my work and every response I draft in my head feels completely insubstantial to express how precious their comment is to me. I am making an active effort to be better at replying though 🥺

Have you ever had a fic stolen? No

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I'd love to! @iamamythologicalcreature and I have kicked around some really fun ideas

What’s your all-time favourite ship? It's gotta be snowbaz. I think about them all the time

What are your writing strengths? Banter, flirting, and conversation generally come pretty easily to me. I often laugh at my jokes while I'm writing; I don't know who else is laughing, but if I think it's funny, I'm pretty happy. At this point in life, I also think I'm pretty good at just getting started, writing on a blank page, trusting that it will go somewhere and it doesn't matter if it's shit at first.

What are your writing weaknesses? Everything I write is short as hell - I've always been a really succinct writer. I feel like all of my stories would be much longer and more fully fleshed out in another writer's hands. I'm also always working on "show, don't tell"...the eternal struggle

First fandom you wrote for? Carry On is the first I've ever published anything for. But I was definitely writing some kind of self-insert Baby-Sitters Club fic when I was 9 years old. Too bad I didn't have the Internet back then??

Tagging @iamamythologicalcreature @thewholelemon @mooncello @louisandtheaquarian

[inkedroplets]

fanfic writer questions

Thanks so much for the tag @sideguitars

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

Twenty. A good mix of one-shots and longer fics that I will finish someday...

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

534,441

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supergirl but I've dabbled with Legends of Tomorrow and have a few unpublished fics for different fandoms that I might share

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Rich Girl With Issues (I swear I'm almost done with the last chapter. The flu kicked my ass but I'm finishing up. My weird Lena becomes a vigilante fic. I still am amazed that people like it as much as they do)

Maybe I'm Too Afraid to Admit It (Kind of cute Kara realizes she has feelings for Lena. I really don't know why this one resonated with so many people)

Somewhere You Can't Follow (My weird (and poorly written) Legends and Supergirl crossover. I would love to go back and actually rewrite large bits of this but the dialogue is on point, at least. Oh and Lena gets to see her mom again so that's a plus)

Denial is Not Just a River in Egypt (I have no memory of this place fic)

Nothing Gold Can Stay (My one and only kidfic but I love it to pieces)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do and I don't. I'm a lot more offline than I was when I first started writing and if too much time passes, I feel weird about responding since I feel like I'm bothering people but I am trying to be better about it. Because I really do cherish each one

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably nothing I've posted yet would count but I do have one that I plan to post soon-ish that's so angsty I took a year to decide whether or not to share it.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think all of my one-shots have pretty standard happy endings. I think I'll say that either Rich Girl or Nothing Gold Can Stay will have the happiest endings (in my opinion) Wait (a little longer) and see

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I'll get the occasional weird comment. Nothing out of the ordinary. I did get a really rude bookmark once that kind of made me laugh. They hated the story yet still chose to bookmark it which is a choice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I dabble in it. There's a snippet floating around somewhere on tumblr that I'm too lazy to find. I'll share it once I finish the first chapter. It's a bit out of my wheelhouse but its fun? Very different kind of writing than what I'm used to.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I write a lot of crossovers. I think when I write fic, I want to see something a little strange and unique that I can't find elsewhere. I'm working on a fic now where Kara meets Matt Murdock, that's not an interaction I ever envisioned myself writing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? To be fair, I haven't ever cared enough to check. I don't think I'm popular enough to get a fic stolen xD

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Someone translated one of my fics into Russian. I was incredibly flattered that they liked it enough to do so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I think it's mostly because I'm quite a selfish writer? I know what and how I want to write so collaboration is quite difficult. Maybe I still have some leftover trauma from all the group projects of my past.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Supercorp, if that wasn't very, very obvious.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'll finish them all!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I really don't know and that's not just me being modest. I don't really think I do anything particularly well?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Being succinct. Every ficlet wants to be a multi-chaptered story and every multi-chaptered story wants to be a novel

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think if implemented well it can be a great addition. If it's merely tacked on, however... I feel it not only doesn't add anything to the story but it makes the reader aware that they're reading a story. A bit of the magic is lost in the clunky execution.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

On AO3 Supercorp but I've dabbled in fandom for years and years. There's ancient Xena fic somewhere in my mother's basement

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Probably has to be Rich Girl but I really am fond of Swear Not by the Moon, as well. I've really enjoyed expanding the scope of Supergirl's world a bit and watching the characters slowly grow over the course of the story

No-pressure tags, of course: I never know who to tag in these until I finish these but if you like @rustingcat @vox-ex @sazernac

[protoslacker]

Big Daddy Trump

I start work at 5:30 AM, but on Tuesday I voted before going to work. I was in line before the polls opened at 7:00 and there were already about a hundred people in line. As the line wound around inside the firehall I could see from the window that about a hundred more people had joined the line. I wondered if I was the only one voting for Democrats? There was a Black couple in line. I felt that even if they were voting for Trump, they were probably as uncomfortable in this crowd as I.

In 1988 I was student teaching fifth grade in a rural Pennsylvania school. I made a unit on elections. The bulletin board I made featured the infamous picture of a helimited Michael Dukakis riding in a tank. I felt quite a lot of pressure not to expose my political biases.

I was nervous when presenting a lesson to the students. My tongue got tied. I said "regular erections" instead of "regular elections." I had to pretend not to notice the observing teacher's expression at the back of the classroom.

I had made cards with imaginary voters in the 1912 election. The cards provided a brief biography of a person and who they voted for. As the 19th Amendment hadn't been ratified in 1912, not everyone could vote. Each student took a card, I don't remember what the writing prompt was, but they were supposed to write something.

One boy's essay was an argument against electing a women president. The argument was succinct: If a women is elected then we wouldn't have any freedom.

George Lakoff contends that Americans tend to view the nation through a metaphor of the family and the government as parents. He contrasts a strict-father model of parenting with a nurturing-parent model. Pundits often present Trump as a "strict father" presidency.

Standing in line to vote there was a guy wearing a t-shirt with Trump's Georgia mugshot image and the tag, "I'm voting for the convicted felon." Another shirt in the crowd read "Fast Cars and Freedom."

An American ten year old knows he's got to do what his mother tells him to do, so the notion of a woman as president connotes a constriction of freedom. It would seem that as violent and capricious as Trump is, seeing him as a "strict father" implies that freedom must available through fecklessness.

[ddarker-dreams]

Hi! I have a question, you can ignore this if you want to but I’ve found myself really loving the way you write and the range of writing you can articulate as well. Speaking from someone who is nowhere close to that level of skill you possess, would you mind being able to explain your journey of writing, if you practiced any particular methods or anything else to get to this stage you are at right now? Unless you have been gifted the talent of writing from birth and didn’t need to try for much long or long enough to call it a journey. Could you also spare some tips and advice for someone who wants to start writing stories and what to look into/practice?

I love your work a lot and I am constantly waiting for the notification of your new posts, despite not being a writer myself I do love breaking down and analysing writing and your stories are always such good options for me to look into. Thank you so much for writing and sparing your time to produce such well done pieces of work — I felt extremely corny writing this, excuse me for this language, I promise I’m not a pimp!

THIS ISN'T CORNY AT ALL!!!! ❌🌽❌!!!!

i'm deeply grateful for all your kind words, thank you so so much 😭

i don't mean this in a self-deprecating way, but i've never considered myself a gifted or super incredible writer, i just get hype about story ideas and try to make them as good as i can. due to that, i start sweating when people ask for advice because i don't consider myself qualified... i do have a writing advice tag, but take everything i say with a grain of salt!! if it's fanfic literally all that matters is that you enjoy whatever you're writing.

i'm more than happy to share my writing journey though!! it's kinda fun to reminiscence.

i've loved reading and writing ever since i was a little lock. while thinking about this ask, it occurred to me that what i've always been the most invested in are the characters. i'd think about 275894275 different storylines with them. i didn't start writing fanfic until i was around 11 though, everything was handwritten. or in flipnote hatena.

i did a lot of fanfic writing from 11-14 buuuut then my interest in it kinda fizzled out. it wasn't until i watched hxh for the first time that i took it up again bc chrollo is that powerful. that's when i started conceptualizing HWR. i looked at my early writing folder, the first HWR fanfic i wrote was in 2016 when i was 15 ?? here's a cursed excerpt:

anyway, once i started making googly eyes at chrollo, it was gg. i've been writing often ever since.

what's helped me the most is to focus on the elements i find interesting. for example, i like fleshing out my MCs, focusing on dialogue, and developing a universe around the main pairing. because i enjoy this so much it's (mostly) always easy to devote time and effort toward it.

so i think it comes down to finding out what niches you like and working with those. some writers prefer to write with heavy prose, others are more succinct, some writers like dialogue, others prefer to be more action based... etc etc. this does require a little time if you're completely new to writing, but you know yourself best. you'll eventually pick up on what part of the story you're most excited to write.

this isn't particularly mind-blowing or anything but i hope it helps some 😭 what completely Altered my mindset was when i realized i can be as self-indulgent as humanly possible. cringe is not in my vocabulary. write a MC where every single character is in love with them if you want. write a 100k word fic about your OC being isekaid into x world. post about your f/os, draw art of you with your fav, go ham.

[madameminor]

To those apologizing for not producing...

Recently, I have seen quite a few people of my acquaintance apologizing to the community for not 'producing' in a succinct amount of time - not writing enough, not art-ing enough, not being on social media enough-

It hurts me to see it. Cause I know that place. And if there's one thing I love about getting older? I've learned that anyone who is ACTUALLY holding that against me is not actually a fan of my work, they're just a hungry ghost trying to fulfill the never-ending hunger that allows them to escape the world, and blaming me if I'm not helping them do so fast enough.

So.

To anyone feeling bad about not writing for a week (yeesh, what pressure on yourself) or getting busy pursuing goals and living life instead of spending time getting lost in fantasy (great in moderation, but dude, life), I say this simple thing.

Don't.

Seriously. Just don't.

Your art is a gift you give - people demanding your gifts come faster are children or tyrants. Some gifts take TIME. Loving time to cultivate something you care about. AND, you also need to live life - a gift to yourself. Gosh, taking in how beautiful the leaves are in the wind. Or feeling just how nice it is to stretch all the way down your spine. Or pursing a degree that will fulfill you when you enter that line of work.

In sobriety, they say 'anything you put before your recovery is the first thing you will lose'. You have to take care of your life and your well-being or your happiness in order to keep giving gifts.

You are not a content producer. You are a gift giver.

Don't forget that.

-Mads

Pardon me for these tags, friends, I just want to spread the word so creators stop treating themselves like commodity machines.

@kaminocasey, @dumfanting, @littlemissmanga, @mandos-mind-trick, @neon-junkie, @cyarbika, @rain-on-kamino, @corona-one

[hangon-silvergirl]

Hello! What are some of your hellcheer fic recs?

Hi! I had really good intentions for putting together a succinct list when I started responding to this, but I tripped and wrote a Hellcheer fanfic compendium instead, apparently.

This is a (non-exhaustive) list of completed Hellcheer fics that I love, and is the result of a two and a half hour trip down memory lane. If I've missed an author's tumblr please let me know!

Some of these stories may contain themes/content/tropes that are not your jam. Please read their tags before jumping in!

So, without further ado, in no particular order:

Never Seem to Find the Time by JuliaBrownen

oh it's not real (if you don't feel it) by BeeLove

where the streets have no name by @alltheseghosttowns

more by 71degreesout

aesthetic chills by @sloelimbs

and the twain were casting dice by @the-reylo-void

warm, sold things by @carry-the-sky

Both Alike in Dignity by @astorytotellyourfriends

the light, the heat by @cyraclove

they'll never know by hawkinshellfire

graceland too (whatever she wants) by @cunnninghams

Linger by CircusBones

You've Got Nothing to Lose by @viharker

reality & other highs by @chrissy-n-eddie

Chrissy & Eddie's Infinite Mixtape by @little-scribblers-heart

you really got me now. by melodicvinyl

don't say yes, run away now by @blondiest

i don't know if i could ever go without (watermelon sugar high) by @cricketsatnight

your turn to roll by mrsren

Alive and Kicking by FrostedGemstones22

put your lips close to mind, as long as they don't touch by @percyjacksonfan3

the answers seem so clear by agents_cxrter

twenty-one rules by elanor_gamgee

like a heartbeat drives you mad by redbelles

Gateway Drug by oponn

WAKE 86.9 by TheRookieKing412

Hobbit Birthdays by PlotWeaver

take a chance on me by WomanOf1000Faces

mixtape by @ivy-eyed

until you kill all my prints by silvermarie

Tattooed on my Heart by VPD2396

Camellia by @nevermorered

The Third Date Rule by InvalidUser1D

Loser Kid by @lokinightfury

you are the music in me by fkevino73

like hands that tick on a clock by @eddiemunsvn

she's so sweet with her get back stare by @theheart-isanarrow

Ride the Sky by Deathinasmalltown

Didn't Mean to Scare You by its_kira

Open Your Eyes by @natliecole

Of Dio, Billy Joel, and Vandalism by @shroomystar

For Whom the Bell Tolls by memequeen1127

all the missing girls are hanging out without us by greatunironic

haunted house with a picket fence by @wndasmaximoffs

someone reaching back for me by @enoughtotemptme

You make me the best kind of nervous, pretty sure you do that shit on purpose… by @phoenixwrites

alexa, play "she bop" by cyndi lauper by @majicmarker

she's under me and i'm not stopping by @majicmarker

she’s a hardcore candy-store give-me-some-more girl by @majicmarker

you'll need me now, i'll teach you how by @majicmarker (honestly, anything by Maj, I am thinking of starting a fan club)

Waiting on Satan's Call by @broomclosetkink

Duality by @broomclosetkink

It's different for girls by @adelaideelaine

Tenderness by @adelaideelaine

The shop around the corner by @adelaideelaine

Red Light Green Light by @idontgettechnology

You drew stars around my scars by @idontgettechnology

The Devil's Backbone by Maebe

You Got Me? I Got You. by Maebe

trailing stars behind us by @hearjessroar

come on pretty baby (kiss me deadly) by @hearjessroar

heavy metal hung from clotheslines by @hearjessroar

preach electric to a microphone by @hearjessroar

i was thursday's child by @agentmmayy

he's got that special somethin' by @agentmmayy

if there's nothing left for you here honey (then there's nothing for me) by @agentmmayy

Dirtbag by @bettsfic

sick part of a sick thing by @bettsfic

No One Like You by QuestionableCovariates

Burden of Proof by QuestionableCovariates

Bonus! Some excellent series (which also largely contain completed stories):

the 'first one's free to get you hooked' series by @uwusillygirl

the 'man to man' series by @bratanimus

the 'mixtape' series by @majicmarker

the 'self-taught learner' series by @adelaideelaine

the 'five drunks & a cheerleader' series by @phoenixwrites

the 'lay beside me, under wicked sky' series by @glitterslag