#I don't know if it's cause it's past 1AM

[asuyaka]

Eyyy it's been a while since I've requested anything, and since I'm back to my JJK brain rot how about a good old request for my favorite dead divorced gay couple?(how are we copin', manga readers?)

So idk if you've ever seen or heard of the "Missing Halloween" animation on YouTube, BUT--

What if satosugu found out that Reader(who they were very close with) was actually the spirit of an past special grade student that died in a mission by the hands of curse users (maybe they raided the school or something, idk it's like- 1AM in here my brain will not remember all the shit that happens in the JJK lore to make a coherent plot point) and now just roams around near the school, and that explains why everyone just seemingly ignored Reader's presence completely and gave the three weird looks whenever they hung out together. Also I like to think that these two idiots found out about reader's situation after fooling around during detention and accidentally tripping on some dusty old boxes that had some old stuff in it, finding one of those group school year pics from when Yaba was the boys' age and Reader was also in the pic from when they were still alive.

In much simpler words, Satosugu x ghost!reader that they didn't knew was a ghost until they found a picture of Reader's academic years.

-🌈, Anon.

★ - JJK brainrot 's so real f' me too !! (Satosugu once 'm get m grubby lil hands on you... >:(( )

☆ - Satosugu x Ghost! Reader !!

♡ - 's nice ta see you again, 🌈 nony !! ヾ(^▽^*))) hope you're doin' well <33 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ | 'm have seen Missing Halloween! made me s'sad (◞‸◟；) but s sooo bittersweet! m nota huuugee animation fan, but Missing Halloween 's one of m favs! (๑≧▽≦)

Being a ghost is interesting, to put it simply.

You get to see things you never got the chance to when you were alive, like the top of Mount Fuji and the vast streets of Shibuya. Sure, you missed what it was like to eat your favorite food or speak to people, but it's the price you have to pay for your naivety.

You thought you'd be alone, wandering the hallways of Jujutsu High forever until they came.

Geto Suguru and Gojo Satoru.

The strongest sorcerers in the modern era.

Shock is an emotion you haven't felt since your death, but you feel it again when you notice that those two can not only see but touch you.

It's an odd feeling. Having someone touch your skin after years (it's only been two) of being dead. Weird, but nice.

"Suguru, back me up here!" Satoru whines, holding his friend by his shoulders and shaking him back and forth.

You and Satoru were arguing about which ice cream flavor was the best. Granted, you haven't had ice cream —or any food for that matter— in a long time, but there was no way you would let Satoru get away with saying Birthday Cake.

"This is your argument, and I like Vanilla." Suguru shrugs and the betrayed look on Satoru's face causes you to giggle.

Satoru turns to face you, chest out and voice boisterous. "Well, [Name], since we can't agree, I guess that means we'll have to go to an ice cream store to find out!

Suguru's face turns blank. "Where in that argument did going to an ice cream place happen?"

"Right now, duh." You huff, rolling your eyes dramatically.

"No, guys, I don't have money, and I'm not taking you dumbasses to an ice cream place at this hour." Suguru's voice is stern; like there's no room for back-and-forth bickering.

You three were now at a small ice cream shop a few minutes away from Jujutsu High.

You tried not to talk to Suguru and Satoru much, so to bystanders it wouldn't look like they were talking to literal air, but they didn't get the hint and kept talking to you anyway.

Sometimes you wonder if they even know you're a ghost.

The way Satoru uses you as a headrest (you're putting spiders in his bed tonight) and how Suguru tends to maintain eye contact when he talks to you (earning a couple of odd stares from some in the store), you’re 99.9% sure they think you’re a real person.

Which you are, obviously, but you’re only technically real to them. Why that is, you aren’t exactly sure yourself.

Before you three get to the counter, you make up a fake excuse of having to use the bathroom. You tell them the flavor you want, make sure Satoru doesn’t do anything weird, and order the flavor with the most sugar (you aren’t 100% sure if you can even eat but it’s worth trying) before you excuse yourself. 

You make your way to the roof, sitting on the edge and looking out into the city. It’s calming. 

You’ve always enjoyed how relaxing it was to be able to see people going about their lives, the soft breeze sounding through your ears accompanied by the smell of ice cream and bread from nearby stores.

It’s nice. 

From the corner of your eye, you spot Suguru and Satoru sitting at an outside table. They were talking amongst each other as they presumably waited for you, an empty spot only held by a cup of ice cream filled with your favorite flavor.

You drop down at the back of the store, brushing the dust off your body and making your way to where Suguru and Satoru are sitting.

“Jeez! Took you long enough.” Satoru rolls his eyes and immediately starts eating his ice cream. 

Suguru rolls his eyes. His posture is the same as always, a man spread and his arms crossed only breaking whenever he needs to eat his ice cream as well. 

Huffing, you kick Satoru underneath the table. Blowing a raspberry before taking a bite of the ice cream.

Good news, you can eat.

Bad news, you don’t taste a single thing.

Well… they don’t need to know that. They’re having fun, your inability to taste shouldn’t spoil that for them.

“Satoru, Yaga’s going to kill us if he finds us, you know?” Suguru huffs, keeping watch as Satoru looks through the yearbook of past students in Jujutsu High.

“Oh, hush!” Satoru kicks him in the knee, gasping when he finds a book tucked away behind several (thankfully sleeping) cursed corpses.

Satoru grins. “Found one.”

Suguru takes one final glance at the hallway before turning to see what Satoru dragged him here for in the dead of night (or early in the morning depending on the way you look at it).

They flip through the yearbook, snickering when they see what Yaga looked like two years ago. His buzz is shorter — if that’s even possible — but he still has his stone-cold resting face.

They make it to the back of the book, where there’s a special section dedicated to students who died before the year is over.

Really, Satoru was looking for what [Name] looked like when he was younger. He’s suspected you were older than the two of them since he never sees you during school.

“Satoru… is– is that…?” Suguru’s voice is weary as his finger points at a photo of some dude he recognizes.

A boy he recognizes.

It’s your picture, you look the same as you do now. “What’s he doing here? We see him all the time– right Suguru?” 

Suguru pales. “Is that why Shoko calls us crazy? [Name] isn’t alive—”

“Yes, he is!” Satoru almost yells. The book drops from his hands with a thump! small colors of blue peeking out from the bottom of his sunglasses.

“We can touch him, we can see him!” Satoru stomps his foot. “How is that possible if he’s dead, huh?!”

“He might be a cursed sp—”

“Then the curse alarm would’ve sounded!” Satoru’s voice sounds like it’s tethering over an edge. He’s confused– he’s known [Name] for as long as his first year, you, him, and Suguru are inseparable so why can Suguru accept the fact that you’re (supposedly) dead?!

“Let’s ask him then, is that okay?” Suguru puts his hand directly on Satoru’s shoulder, moving his thumb slightly for comfort. 

The albino takes a deep breath to calm himself. He shouldn’t be mad at Suguru, he loves Suguru.

So, he does what Suguru says. He lets Suguru lead the way to where they found you the first time. Close to the artifact warehouse but closer to the forest that surrounds Jujutsu High.

You’re there. Sitting on the grass as you stare longingly at a bird.

The sound of rocks crunching under their feet must give them away because in a second you lock eyes with Suguru, a soft smile on your face.

“Suguru!” Your voice is warm– comforting even. “What are you guys doing here? Aren’t you guys breaking curfew?”

“Are you dead?”

Satoru’s blunt question causes your body to freeze. He sounds angry. Maybe it’s because you didn’t tell them that you were a ghost, and they somehow found out themselves.

You weren’t all that popular when you were alive. You were an adequate sorcerer with mediocre abilities. Nothing that puts you out there– not like the two in front of you anyway.

“Y-Yeah?” You avert your eyes sheepishly. “I mean, I died a few years ago so—”

“Why didn’t you tell us anything?” Satoru cuts you off, the hand still holding Suguru’s tightens slightly.

Why didn’t you tell them? Because they’d stop hanging out with you? Were you scared you’d lose the only people who know you’re still technically here?

Because you’re bound to this school and have only ever left because your attachment somehow shifted to Satoru and Suguru.

Ah, that’s why.

You were scared to be left alone. That’s why every time you could, you’d rush over to where they were. Engage in conversation with them, and do mildly illegal things with them because they make you feel wanted.

“I guess… I was scared you two would stop hanging out with me..?” You let out a laugh even though nothing is funny. “You two are the only people who know I still exist, so I thought if you figured out I was a ghost…”

“— that we’d stop talking to you altogether?” Suguru finishes for you and you can’t help but nod.

“That’s stupid! We fight curses, why do you think being a ghost is going to stop anything?!” Satoru grabs you by the shoulder. You’re sure his grip hurts, but you can’t exactly feel pain anymore.

“Yeah, I know…” Your hand touches Satoru’s forearm. “Now that you know… it doesn’t change anything between us… right?”

The longer the silence stretches the more anxiety swallows you whole. If they stop talking to you or start avoiding you, you aren’t sure what you’ll be bound to.

Maybe that spot by the artifact warehouse. You’ll be forced to stay there– alone, with no one to talk to, no one to make you feel alive.

“Of course, not.” Suguru’s voice is warm, it makes something well up in your eyes.

“Sure, it might be weird since sorcerers can’t see you, but you’re our friend. You just have to promise not to keep life-altering secrets from us. Right, Satoru?”

Satoru huffs, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. “You owe me, stupid ghost boy!”

A smile stretches across your face and you’re unaware of the warmth rolling down your cheeks. “I’m glad.”

You won’t be alone.

You’ll be able to talk to them, now that they know your biggest secret.

You’ll have Satoru and Suguru, and they’ll have you.

Maybe being dead– or being a ghost isn’t so bad after all.

[boozybellybaby]

Oh, god, what will my roommate think of me

I got home last night, way too early for how drunk I was. I had been pre-gaming by myself, but he knows I do that. There's no way to miss the constant flow of empty beer bottles I leave behind everyday. I got to the bar pretty tipsy already, with my belly filled with beer. Started with a pint of gimbergen, then switched to rum and coke, rum and coke, rum and coke. My friends called me out a couple times throughout the night cause I was getting excesively loud and obnoxious, but I wasn't able to control my volume.

By the time I walked out of the bar I was already zigzagging my way through the street. My friends kept teasing about it, laughing and saying "look at this drunk". I'm quickly becoming known as "this drunk". I wanted to go to the club with them, but the bouncer immediately stopped me when he saw me in such a state. My friends argued with him at first, but eventually gave up, when they saw how I was falling asleep while barely able to stand on my own two feet. I told them I could catch an Uber to my home and somehow managed to convince them.

I phoned my roomie during the ride, asked him to help me get up the stairs. We have an elevator but I rarely take it, and I guess I forgot about it at that moment. He must have notice my slurring, cause he asked if I was ok and agreed to help me, even tho it was past 1AM. I could barely walk out of the Uber myself so the driver helped me, but I told him I could make it home by myself and he hesitantly let me go.

My roomie was waiting for me at the door. As soon as I saw him I apologized and put my arm around his shoulders, leaning on him and basically letting him carry all my weight. I stubbornly asked him to use the stairs instead of the elevator, but eventually he managed to convince me. He asked how much I had drank and I lied that I didn't know.

He dropped me on my bed, removed my shoes and asked if I had to go to the bathroom but I don't remember answering.

[dixongrimesgirl]

Sinful Secret

S7 Negan Smith x fem!grimes reader

Content includes: Unprotected sex, PiV, secret relationship, Alexandria era, caught, oral (f receiving), pet names (sweetheart, my girl)

WC: 770

You had secretly been seeing Negan for a while now without the knowledge of anyone in Alexandria. It's past 1am and you heard your father and Michonne go to bed a little while ago. When you're sure the coast is clear you sneak downstairs and let Negan in. "Hey, sweetheart. Thought ya weren't gonna let me in" he teased. "You know that's not true. I just had to make sure everyone was asleep" you reply before leading the way upstairs to your room. He lands a soft smack on your ass as you walk up the stairs in front of him causing you to let out a quiet giggle. "We have to be quiet" you whisper. "What? Ya don't wan' ol' Rick seeing us together?" he asks. You send him a glare and he chuckles. "Okay, sweetheart," he says and you enter your room closing the door softly behind the two of you. He immediately throws you on the bed and climbs on top of you. "Fuck sweetheart" he groans when you wrap your legs around his waist pressing your core against his bulge. He plants his lips on yours and you part your mouth allowing him to slip his tongue in. He swallows your moans as he rubs your nipples over the thin fabric of your tank top. He kisses down your neck and pulls your shirt up and over your head, throwing it onto the floor. He sucks a nipple in his mouth and gently bites down, loving how you moan and squirm beneath him. He wishes you didn't have to be so quiet. He can't wait until he gets you back to the sanctuary and you can make all the noise you want. Thinking about you screaming his name causes him to involuntarily thrust his hips into yours. He pulls back and hastily pulls your sleep shorts down and groans noticing you're not wearing any panties. He tosses your shorts onto the floor and positions his head between your legs before devouring you like a starved man. he shoves two fingers into your already slick hole and you clench around them. "So tight" he breathes out. "How ya gonna take my cock, sweetheart?" he asks. "I can do it" you insist. "I know ya can but first let me feel ya cum on fingers" he whispers. You cover your mouth with your held holding back your moans while you ride out your orgasm. He fucks you with his fingers through it all and as you come down from your high you hear the squelching of your pussy. "Good girl" he praises and you sigh gently closing your eyes. He shoves his fingers in your mouth and you swirl your tongue around them. "Damn girl. Got me so fuckin' hard" he grunts and before you know it he's lining himself up with your entrance. "Negan" you moan as he bottoms out in one hard thrust. "So fuckin tight" he groans. He pulls out and slams back in. You don't even hear the headboard banging against the wall. You clench around him. "I know you're close, sweetheart. Cum for me" he growls and you release, your slick covering his cock and with a few more thrusts he's realising inside you. You're both startled when there's a knock at the door. "Y/N?" you hear your Dad's say. "Shit" you mutter and get up throwing on your pyjamas. You open the door. "Are you okay?" he asks. "Yeah. I'm fine" you reply. "Good. I just heard a lot of noises and was worried something..." he trails off as Negan appears clad only in his boxers. "What the hell is he doing here?" Rick growls. "Spending time with my girl" he replies and you're thighs involuntarily squeeze together. "If you hurt her" Rick threatens. "I wouldn't hurt her. She wants this just as much as me. Look at her when I call her my girl" he says and you can't help but squeeze your thighs shut again. "See. I do that to her" he says. "Wanna stay for the show? We were just about to go for round 2. Isn't that right sweetheart?" he asks. "Get out of my house!" Rick growls. "Alright, alright." Negan replies and turns to give you a kiss. You kiss him back and he slips is tongue in your mouth. "Now!" Rick yells when Negan's hand starts groping your ass. "See you later sweetheart" he says and you give him a small wave when Rick isn't looking. You know you're gonna be in big trouble but you can't help your feelings. If only your dad could understand.

[rogue-durin-16]

TOO LATE?

Request: hey honeybun<33 can I request prompt #56 with either Luz or Lieb? Can it be post war, they bump into each other or something? Also can it be angsty??? I love your writing style and I'm so glad you're back!!!!

Summary: Joe had lost his chance. If there was any glimpse of hope about it, it vanished in Chuck Grant's narrow staircase, thanks to an unexpected encounter with an old friend.

Prompt:

56. "I'm happy with them." "That's not fair!" "Why?" "'Cause I loved you first!"

Pairing/s: Joe Liebgott x Reader/George Luz x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Requested by: anon

Band Of Brothers: @fernando-jpg @chubbypotatoepie @tvserie-s-world @clumsy-wonderland @lordndsaviorwinters

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @comfort-reads

Warnings: language, allusions to sex

A/N: dear anon, I don't know why you'd do this to yourself. You know it's gonna be Angsty™ when I write it in one go at 1am lmaooo. Enjoy <3

Band of Brothers masterlist

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The stairwell in Chuck Grant's building was quiet, filled with the muffled sounds of the city outside and the worn groans of old wood under my feet. I wasn’t expecting to see anyone, least of all him. But there he was—Joe Liebgott, coming up the steps, freezing in his tracks as soon as he saw me.

Chuck mentioned it; that Joe started to drop by from time to time. After a couple of years of radio silence, even Grant found it odd. He wasn't complaining, though, so I made no comment on it, but I was undeniably bitter about Joe not reaching out to me at any point —after what we had been through, I expected a letter.

At least during the first few months. Then I managed to put it in the back of my mind, even after Chuck told me he had had him over a few times. But with the man frozen in front of me, there was nothing I couldn't do to ignore it.

For a second, we both just stood there, staring like we’d seen a ghost. But then Joe broke the silence with that easy, almost casual look that hadn’t changed since the war.

"Look what the cat dragged in." He climbed down the few stairs he had left behind from the fourth flight in order to give me space to go down.

"Long time no see." My replied was laced with a shy, half smile directed to the ground below us instead of at him.

"How have y—"

"I should get g—" I was quite sure he caught my sentence, but maybe I wanted to give his a chance. "What?"

"How have you been?" He leaned back against the landing's rusty railing, eyes roaming my form. He was seizing me up. I did the same.

"Could've been better, but could've been worse." I shrugged, a bit lost in every slight change his face and body had suffered since I had last seen him. "You?"

A shrug. He pretended to think about it. "Pretty much the same. Busy."

"I figured." It was the remainder of the betrayal I had felt a few weeks ago. Not too noticeable, but by the look on his face, he still knew me enough to catch on it.

"You mad?"

Was I?

I rolled my eyes with a soft sigh. "A little bit, yeah. I think." I chuckled at my own confession.

He scratched the back of his neck, finding it a bit difficult to meet my gaze, despite it not holding any real resentment. "'M sorry, sweetheart."

"Joe Liebgott apologizing? That's new."

"Alright, quit it."

There was a familiar fondness wrapping around us, one I presumed long lost.

"I'm glad you're seeing Chuck. It's doing him some good to have you around." It was genuine. I think that was the reason why Joe turned bashful. He almost looked embarrassed about it.

"I could tell you were visiting, ya know?" He shoved his hands in his coat's pockets. "You still use that awful perfume. Sticks everywhere."

"You're so rude." I laughed, trying to go past the fact that he still remembered the perfume I used to wear back in Toccoa.

We simultaneously stole careful glances at each other in silence. I would have never imagined Joe Liebgott at a loss of words, but there was a first time for everything and we weren't the same kids who couldn't shut their mouths to save their lives.

Or perhaps the conversation was over and neither of us wanted to acknowledge it.

Squeezing my purse, I mustered the courage to bid him goodbye. "I should g—"

“Do you miss them?” he asked, tone casual, though I could hear something tight in it, like he’d been thinking about the question for a long time.

“Who?” I asked, then quickly understood. “Oh, the boys?” Joe nodded and I forced a small smile. “Yeah, kind of. I mean, I talk to Malark whenever I can. Bill writes me letters, surprisingly.” I laughed, a little wistfully. “Not that I’m complaining, but I didn’t expect that. Ran into Tab recently, too—crazy as it sounds. George…”

My voice trailed off, and Joe tilted his head, noticing my hesitation.

I shouldn't have mentioned him, but I had a knack for getting carried away whilst talking to Joe.

"George what?"

I felt heat creeping up my neck and tried to look as casual as possible, though I knew I had already given it away. "It’s just… complicated."

"Complicated?" he asked, leaning forward, curiosity bright in his eyes. "What d’you mean, complicated?"

I didn't want to lie to him —not after all this time apart—, but the truth was uncalled for.

"Oh c’mon, tell me." He wasn’t letting this go. "I know I'm not the brightest but it can't be that complicated."

I rolled my eyes and reluctantly gave in, glancing away as I spoke. "I lost contact with him for a few months but uhm- well one day he gave me a call. Said he got my number from Toye." I cleared my throat. "He invited me over, y'know, to catch up. I stayed with him and his family for a while, and…" I flashed a tentative glance at Joe who seemed a little too slow picking up on the direction this was about to take. "we- uhm, we ended up hooking up."

Unexpectedly, he laughed; it was obnoxious, louder than necessary, his voice echoing up the narrow stairwell.

"What’s funny?" I crossed my arms, suddenly annoyed, though I could tell by his expression that he wasn’t just laughing at the situation.

"Nothin', just-" He shook his head, a crooked grin on his face. "Out of everyone, I’d never have guessed it'd be George Luz."

I raised an eyebrow, not sure whether to be insulted or amused. "Why? What’s that supposed to mean?"

"I dunno... 'cause he’s George, and you’re…" he motioned his hand vaguely at my form. "you." Joe shrugged, like it was obvious. "Didn't see it happening."

"Well, guess it happened." I said, shrugging back. I didn't know what to do to get out of that situation.

Although I had walked into the conversation by myself, this wasn't the ideal scenario to talk about George and I's circumstances, nor the ideal person.

"Was it a one-time thing?" Joe pressed on, and he sounded almost afraid of what I might answer.

"Uhm... no." I felt us sank deeper into a hole we wouldn't be able to crawl out of. Why was it so hard to tell him? "No, actually it's been happening for a while now."

His expression had a certain intent, as if he waited for an answer to a question he hadn’t asked. "What is it about him?"

The inquiry caught me off guard, and I felt strangely self-conscious. "I guess... gosh it's gonna sound so cliché." I half-laughed, feeling the blood rushing to my cheeks. “He just... he makes me laugh."

Joe’s laughter turned hollow, and his expression shifted slightly, though I couldn’t quite read it. "I used to make you laugh, too."

I met his gaze, suddenly unsure, memories flooding back. "Yeah, you did."

"So... why not me?" He tried to sound like he was joking. His humor had never been the healthiest but I knew not even this fell into that category.

Although the question threw me off, I decided it was best to play dumb and keep the mood light.

I decided it was best to keep him at arm’s length. "Don't know. Maybe 'cause you didn’t invite me to stay at your place for a month." I joked with a giggle that sounded anything but truthful.

"Damn, that's tough." The attempt at banter rang out of him, his eyes tentatively meeting my elusive gaze. "What if I did that now?"

I blinked, confusion plastered all over my visage. "What?"

"What if I invited you over?" He didn’t look away, his expression uncharacteristically intense, like he was finally saying something he had wanted to for a long time.

"Joe…" my fingers once more clutched my purse, feeling unsteady, unsure of how to respond. The words we usually threw at each other so easily were suddenly too heavy.

"Too late?" he asked, the desperation showing now, cutting through his usual swagger.

The question hung between us, and I didn’t know what to say. I didn't even know if there was anything to say at all.

It had taken us so long to get to this point; I wasn't sure if it was worth it anymore.

Then he took a step back, his expression twisting into something I hadn’t seen from him. Some kind of pain flashed through his eyes. "I don’t think this is fair, y’know?"

"What d’you mean?" I questioned, although I wasn't eager to find out where this would go.

"I mean…" A bitter scoff resounded against the landing's walls, making me flinch. "I don’t think it’s fair that I just what—lost my chance? To George Luz?" His voice grew louder as he threw his hands up in the air.

I blankly stared at him, dumbfounded by his attitude that so clearly came from a wounded ego. "Joe, you didn’t call. You didn’t even write. All I had was radio silence for a good couple of years. What did you expect?"

There was indignation in his sneer. He turned his head away from the sight of me. "I needed time."

I nodded, trying to seem understanding despite everything, but due to his hostility, I couldn't refrain my tone from sharpening. "Yeah, I know. We all have our rhythms."

Joe scoffed, the noise escaping in a sour huff. "And yours just happened to match Luz’s, huh?"

That hit a nerve. I straightened, pushing myself off the wall where I had fought to stay leaned on until now. He was hurt, but that wasn't an excuse to take it out on me. One would think, after all we had been through, he would have already learned it.

"Fuck you." I muttered, turning to leave, but he was quick to hold me back by my bicep.

I yanked my arm free, meeting his gaze with a glare, and I would have sworn they didn't have that glassiness to them a few minutes earlier.

"You jealous?" I challenged, not caring if I was pushing him too far.

He laughed harshly, his mouth twisting in a forced smirk. "Of what? Luz?"

"Yeah." I was daring him to deny it. He knew it.

Joe rolled his eyes. "You’re kidding me."

"Oh, so you’re not jealous?” I leaned forward, watching his face closely, but he didn't venture to meet my eyes again.

His jaw clenched tightly, his expression betraying him.

"You know why you’re jealous, Joe?" I pushed further, the words spilling out before I could think twice. "Because you didn’t have the balls to do what Luz did when you had your chance."

He snapped, and his voice came out in a near-shout. "You think that’s it? That I didn’t have the balls to get into your pants?!"

Vexation and anger flooding through me, flaring me up until it wasn't containable. "You think that’s all this is about?!" I felt my own voice rising, almost laughing at how ridiculous he sounded. "You think all Luz did was 'get into my pants'?!"

When he turned back to face me, I gave his chest a firm shove. "Told you it was complicated. I'm sooo sorry, darlin'," my words were venomous and they clearly stung him. "I forgot you have the emotional range of a goddamn brick and can’t understand anything beyond that."

"What, he wrote you a love letter and proposed?" Joe spat, doing a half turn, sarcasm heavy in his voice. "Give me a fuckin' break."

"Fine!" Joe shortened the already ridiculous short distance between us. He was past the point of backing down. "You wanna know the truth? Luz just wanted to fuck you! That's it!"

"God, Joe," I whispered, shaking my head. "You're so stupid, it's painful to watch." It was my turn to step back. His chest heaved, although he was trying hard to conceal it. Tipper used to say if we didn't end up together, we would burn each other to the ground. He would be so disappointed if he could see us now. "You don't get it, do you?"

The words hit hard, sharper than I expected. That same thought had relentlessly haunted me, not much with Luz, but with him. My loud scoff was sour and sad all at once.

"And you didn’t?"

He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. I watched him, waiting, knowing there was nothing he could say to take back that moment, a grim laugh tearing my throat.

"Did it even occur to you that maybe I wanted to fuck him too?"

"Jesus Christ, Y/n—" The visible disgust twisting his expression hid a kind of pain beneath the surface. "I'm not fuckin' interested."

"Really? 'Cause you look pretty interested to me."

Joe backtracked, inhaling sharply as if he was about to craft a scathing remark to hurt me more than I had hurt him already.

"Do you even feel something for him?"

"Yeah, Joe, that's why it's fucking complicated!" My voice cracked; I blamed it on the yelling, but I knew better.

"What- what-" he groaned, trying and failing to understand where the complexity of it all lied. The frustration was only driving him further off the edge. "What's so complicated about it then?!"

He looked at me, desperate and confused. This was most likely his last chance and he was blowing it. "Get what?"

"That maybe —just maybe— I wanted you to-" My voice broke off, words I had never said getting caught up in my throat. "I wanted us to be more than... Whatever this is."

The long awaited confession was so out of place and time, it was as painful to admit as it was to listen.

"A part of me expected you to..." My eyes welled up. "I sent you a couple of letters after we came back. You didn't even... and George- he did." I added, feeling the weight of the truth crashing us both. "He was there. He still is, and yeah," Joe refused to spare me a single look. "I want to be with him. And that’s why it’s complicated, Joe."

He stared at me briefly, his shoulders sagging and the frustration melting into something closer to defeat.

"He doesn’t care about you." it was a whispered lie, more to convince himself than to hurt me.

It hurt me either way. That's where the following revelation came from, because I would have never said that to him otherwise.

"You wanna know what happened, Joe?" I sounded tired. More tired than I had been in two years. "He told me he was in love with me." His face twisted, the confession hitting him like a blow. "And if you tell me he's lying I'm gonna punch you in the face, because turns out I'm happy with him."

It was the first time I had acknowledged it. And it had been in front of Joe Liebgott, out of everyone.

"Well, that’s not fuckin' fair." he muttered under his ragged breath, almost too quiet to hear.

I found myself once again bewildered by his words. "Why isn’t it fair, Joe?"

He seethed, his eyes dark with something that looked painfully close to heartbreak. "Because I loved you first."

I just stood there, frozen, his words lingering in the silence that suddenly felt so loud. The anger that had lit me up moments before faded away, leaving behind a strange hollowness.

Joe's face was still twisted with deep sorrow. And yet, even now, he was clinging to his anger, like it was the only thing keeping him upright.

I swallowed, struggling to find anything to say, something to fill the empty space between us. But there was nothing.

He was waiting, maybe even hoping I would give him something to hang onto, but I was tired.

Tired of fighting, tired of waiting, tired of wishing things had been different. Tired of trying to understand him when he kept pushing me away.

"Okay." It was all I could manage to get out without breaking down.

He watched me, his expression hardening as my silence stretched on, hurt seeping into his eyes until there was no anger.

I took a step back and he clenched his jaw, his mouth twitched as if he was trying to measure his words; maybe to craft his emotions into something that would reel me back in.

But that just wasn't in his nature.

"Yeah," he hissed, a pained chuckle escaping him. "Thought so."

I was ready to clap back, to tell him it wasn’t that simple, that none of this was simple, but the words felt pointless now. And I knew if I didn’t walk away, I would get drawn back into the storm of feelings that nearly consumed me once.

I couldn't do that, so I turned and left, my footsteps heavy as I went down the stairs, his stare burning a hole on my back.

When I reached the first floor, I allowed myself to stop, clinging onto the railing. A part of me still hoped he would have called after me, say something—anything— that could have made this hurt less. But the only sound was the low hum of the city outside, filtering in through the paper thin walls.

I blinked away the burn at the corners of my eyes and climbed down the last flight of stairs. By the time I reached the building's entrance, all I could hear was the thunderous stammering of my heart; needless to say I missed the fast stomps on the staircase.

The second time Joe tugged on my arm to hold me back, it nearly put me under cardiac arrest.

I barely had time to fully turn around to face him before his palm cupped my cheek, bringing my parted lips to meet his own.

I had fantasized with that kiss so many times, and it was nothing like I had imagined.

Maybe it would have been different two years ago, when he didn't felt the desperate need to convey all his emotions through one single effort.

Maybe his lower lip wouldn't have trembled against mine; maybe it would have been so tender; maybe he wouldn't have held back from bringing me flush against him.

Maybe it wouldn't have felt like the saddest goodbye.

The hold on my forearm and my cheek fell limply right before his mouth abandoned me, taking my breath away in the process.

He didn't allow me to take a proper look at him, casting his head down and stepping away as soon as he parted from me, but I still caught a glimpse of the teardrop running down his cheek while he turned heel.

He didn't spare me a single glance before running upstairs.

I heard his sob.

I was pretty sure he heard mine.

[britt-kageryuu]

I spent a bit to long thinking about this after reading some LMK fanfic~ I wrote this at about 1am~ then proofread it a bit in the morning.

---------------------------------

Leo barged into Donnies lab looking to annoy his twin, only to find Donnie slouched over staring at his computer screen with a slight confused/concerned look on his face.

"Hey DonTron! What's with that face? Some techno doohickey giving you trouble?" Leo asks while leaning onto the back of Donnies chair.

Leo looks at the screen, but can't make much sense of what he's seeing.

Donnie doesn't react right away, but he does slowly turn toward Leo.

"For the past 2 weeks at least, I've been obsessing over making plans, to kidnap someone." Donnie says slowly, not even adding any of his usual speech patterns.

"You want to kidnap someone? Why?" Leo asks with concern clear ing his voice and on his face.

"That's the thing! I! DON'T! KNOW!" Donnie shouts, "And it's been driving me more insane than usual!" Donnie quickly goes from slouching to sinking into the chair, almost causing Leo to fall over. "Especially with who I want to kidnap! It makes no sense!"

They both just stay quiet, not sure what to say. So Leo bites the bullet.

"Sooooo, is it one of those dragon techies you want to kidnap?" Leo asks teasingly, before ducking into his shell to avoid Donnie trying to hit his head, "Okay, seriously, maybe this is a Yokai thing. And we can ask Hueso?" He says while coming out of his shell.

Donnie stares at him for a second, "Do you really still hold a grudge against Draxum, or do you not want Dad to possibly get dragged into this?"

"A little of both. I know there's a few questions I want to ask him myself." Leo leans to grab a pen from the desk, only to find his wrist in the death grip of his Twins robot arms.

"No. You will go grab one of your swords, and leave my specially ordered purple titanium pens, Alone." Donnie emphasized, while pushing Leo out of his lab.

They will come to learn, that some things about Yokai culture and instincts can be very weird, bordering on terrifying.

If only because they had to sit through a Yokai version of 'The Talk', and realized they have to reiterate this to their brothers.

On top of wondering how some Yokai courting traditions (and some possible laws) view the whole mess that happened with their Dad, Draxum and *shudders* Big Mama.

[fizzing-imagines]

Little Minx | Billy Hargrove x Alt! Reader

Notes: I'm super proud of this, so if y'all would give me some love on this it would be greatly appreciated ♥️ MDNI! THIS IS PURE FILTH

Warnings: Smut, smut and more smut. Everything about this is purely sexual

Words: 2.3k

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You loved your little summer habit. Every day, for the past 3 weeks, you take a nap from 9pm to 12pm, to sneak off to Lovers Lake at 1am. You had time for yourself, could go skinny dipping, swim a bit, just be yourself with no other people watching. It was the perfect scenario. And, just like any other day, you were just there at Lovers Lake. You stayed in your car for 30 minutes while waiting for a teenage couple to finish making out and drive off. They did, eventually, which was your que to get out of your car, take off your clothes and get into the large body of water. You floated on your back, taking in the fresh night air, letting your thoughts wash away with every breeze. This was your ideal summer activity. What you didn't know is that someone knew about what you did this summer.

Billy Hargrove has been looking at you ever since he came to Hawkins. His high school friends didn't associate with yours, the freaks, causing him to never directly talk to you. But he always found other ways. A wink here, a brush of your hand there. He knew he could have you if he wanted to, and you knew that you were beyond attracted to him. He tried denying these feelings at first, but whenever he saw how beautiful your red lipstick looked when you smiled, or how much your eyebrow piercing made your eyes pop, he couldn't deny it anymore. Once he found out you had a tongue piercing, his mind went feral. And he doesn't even know about your other two piercings yet. The best part: You've slept with the basketball team in the past, and shit, did they describe you as a freak in multiple ways.

Billy finally saw his chance to actually talk with you, make sure you melt underneath him. Of course, he wasn't a creep. Billy didn't watch you get undressed, and he didn't watch you until he heard that you were in the water. Then, he stepped out of his far-parked car and walked up to the lake. "It's dangerous to swim without a lifeguard.", he said. You jumped up, covered your chest in embarrassment and scanned the area for the known voice. "What the fuck, Billy?", you said loudly while still trying to find him between the bushes and the twigs. "Just looking out for you, sweetheart." His figure moved in the front of your car, seemingly taking off his jacket. "Should I come in to make sure you're safe?" You knew he had a thing for you ever since he first looked you in the eyes. His facial expression, his eyes, the way his jaw clenched; it screamed horny. And, oh, did you enjoy it. The fact that popular basketball player Billy Hargrove was dying to get his dick sucked by you was hilarious, yet thrilling. At this point, you wanted to know if he fucks as good as the cheerleaders say he does.

"Sure thing, Mr. Lifeguard.", you replied while getting into the water at collar bone level. Some rustling was heard, a belt opening, zipper going down and soon enough Billy joined you in the lake. He swam over to you, grabbing your waist as soon as he reached you. "Wanna make sure you don't drown, pretty thing." The moonlight made his facial expressions clear and complimented his eyes even more than the sun does. But his lashes, oh, his beautiful lashes. You thought they were so long and full, causing a bit of jealousy to arise in you. "Aren't you charming?", you teased with a smirk. A low chuckle left his lips while getting dangerously close to you. "This can be our little secret.", you continued. "A dirty, little secret that will connect us for the rest of our lives." His lips grazed over yours before pulling away slightly. "You fucking minx.", he breathed out against the thin skin of your lips. Billy's hands found their way from your hips to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze before having his left hand travel up to your boobs. You, on the other hand, wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled his body closer to yours. "I'll be your little minx tonight if you get me to behave." Your voice was so innocent, but he knew what you were doing. It drove him wild.

"Shit sweetheart, you truly are a minx.", he said after taking a deep breath in. You had your forehead leaned against his shoulder, trying to calm down from your high by concentrating on your breathing. It didn't work as well as you hoped. "Were you serious about being my whore or did you say that just for the reward?" You let out a light chuckle at his words. "I was serious.", you replied. "Be grateful, I already fuck half of Hellfire weekly." Eddie Munson was your best friend in bed, he'd be so disappointed if you would have to stop your arrangement. Billy chuckled at your words while playing with your hair.

"You don't have to. But you're gonna be ready for me at all times, little minx."

[psycoweeb]

Sleepy Decisions

Levi/Reader

Coffee Shop AU

Content: Bad examples of a sleeping schedule, no use of y/n, light teasing, unresolved tension, interrupted, nothing explicit, more tension, what is probably an unrealistic representation of anything coffee shop related, not beta read.

_______________

It was still the middle of your shift, but you were dead tired. Turns out, deep cleaning your house, spontaneously hanging out friends, and staying up till 1am scrolling through whatever could entertain you was a bad idea. You knew you should have skipped the cleaning.

In your daze you hadn't even realized that you overfilled the drink you were making. It was now overflowing and staining your apron. Just barely missing the tips of your fingers as you dropped the cup into the drain and hurried to shut off the machine. Great.

"Are you going to struggle with the rest of our customers or can you pull it together? "

You rolled your eyes, shutting off the machine "Insightful as always Levi. It's my own drink anyway." You gestured to the empty shop "No one else to serve out there, basically a wasteland. I wouldn't dare encroach on your coffee making kingdom otherwise." You said with a dramatic flare to your voice, flicking your hand in his general direction.

He glared

"Oh come on Levi! It's one cup. I just need a little pick me up.  "

It was true, the amount of customers tended to hit a snag around this time of day. Perfect for an unofficial and unapproved break.

"Funny, I'm sure I've heard those exact words from a drug addict. There is a reason I don't let you back here. " He was now standing beside you with a towel, reaching into your space to clean the spilt coffee that hadn't made it into the drain.

"So dramatic" you groaned.

You watched as his arms moved to clean up the liquid, muscles moving in tandem with each other. His hair, which typically fell just over his ears, was now brushing across the front of his face. Such small details that should mean nothing yet never failed to send butterflies erupting in your stomach. You could hear him muttering under his breath, something about "-always having to clean up after you" and "Take better fucking care of yourself, could've been burned. "

Maybe it was your sleep-addled brain that caused you to reach out, or maybe it was shear stupidity, but either way, you found your hand drifting toward the distracted Levi.

Catching the movement in the corner of his eye, he stopped whipping up the mess and turned to you, curiously. Making eye contact, only breaking for quick glances at your slowly approaching hand. You felt drawn to Levi, as if you were attached to strings, forever pulling you toward him. Was it just you or are you closer than you were a few seconds ago?

His throat bobbed as you moved closer, he could feel your gaze burning into his skin. It's not that you'd never stared at him before. In fact he's caught you staring multiple times! It usually ended with some lighthearted banter and teasing, then back to work.

He could usually shake off the flush that your gaze brought on, but this time, he felt his body grow hot all over, struggling to force down the heat that was now beginning to take over his ears.

Your hand moved past his cheek and behind his ear, bringing a lock of hair with it and coming to a rest at his jaw. You let out a soft and slightly delirious chuckle, "You know Levi, you're really pretty" you whispered, as if a rise in volume would shatter the atmosphere between the two of you.

He was no longer struggling to keep down his blush, because it was now in full force. Completely caught off guard by your compliment, all he could respond with was some weird, strained sound that came from the back of his throat, although he tried his best to cut that off as soon as it started. Just as he was about to break away, he noticed the droopiness of your eyes and how unfocused they looked, and sighed.

He relaxed his posture slightly, now leaning against the counter behind him. "You need to stop staying up so late. It's making you delusional" he rolled his eyes finally breaking eye contact.

"Well actually, " you responded with a casual air to your voice. "science—the internet—says that geniuses tend to say up later than the average person"

"Actual science says sleep deprivation causes hallucinations" He crossed his arms, as if to put a barrier between the two of you.

"Those are some big words Levi, and I'm not exactly in the right state of mind to even pretend I heard them right"

"Go.To.Sleep." He groaned.

"Ya'know-" You placed your hands on either side of him, putting you weight on the counter "that's real funny coming from you Mr. Eye bags." You leaned closer.

Fuck. He should have broke away when he had the chance.

"I think I remember saying something similar a few weeks ago. Along the lines of 'One of these days you'll drop dead in the back room and I'll have to deal with the customers all on my own.' Does that sound about right?"

He cleared his throat, steadying his voice "Which was fucking stupid because I barely even interact with customers as is. Would barely change a thing." He said, tone still low, the tension still palpable between the two of you.

"Aw! But who would make sure I don't give myself third-degree burns?" You were closer now. Levi was having a hard time focusing, what with your face so close to his. He was trying, and failing, to ignore how well you bodies fit together, or how close your body was to his at all.

Meanwhile, you were also having quite a hard time focusing. You could feel his breath with how close you were. Watched as his eyes unconsciously flitted between your gaze and your lips. Your eyes scanned over his normally pale skin. Over his cheeks, which were currently a beautiful shade of red, over his dark eyelashes that seemed to flutter when he blinked.

You moved your hand to his chin and leaned in closer. Noses now brushing against eachother, prompting him to uncross his arms and place a hand on your shoulder, the other on the back of your neck. You responded in kind, moving your free hand to his waist, both you and Levi closing your eyes in anticipation of what would come next.

Ding

You were both interrupted by the bell from the front door of the cafe. Sighing, you began to move toward the front counter but were pulled back by a hand on your arm.

"They can wait 10 seconds" Clearly irritated by the interruption, he attempted to direct you back toward his lips. You stopped him, placing your right hand over his mouth.

Leaning closer, you moved passed his cheek, your breath tickling his ear. His grip or your arm tightened slightly, breathing heavily.

"If I were to kiss you right now I wouldn't be stopping anytime soon" You pressed your lips just under his ear, causing Levi to breathe in sharply. You pressed your forehead against his and smiled before withdrawing from his arms to tend to the awaiting customer. Leaving a flustered Levi in the back.

[neos-schlond-poofa]

Garrance: How to Save a Life

I live laugh love Garrance and I once edited the first part. And ever since like one day, I listened to How to Save a Life by The Fray and went "omg..." AND WAS LIKE THATS THEM!! It was actually in like 2021 and it was me imagining if I had artistic talent and making a general MCD edit of it but slowly its turned into a predominantly Garrance theme song for me and like. I NEED TO SPREAD THIS AGENDA!! Just a heads up, its 1am for me rn, I don't remember everything the clearest, and I'm literally just rambling so it wont be too organized or have consistent grammar or writing styles. ANYWHO cue the music

Step one, you say we need to talk He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk" He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame You begin to wonder why you came OKAY SO LIKE THIS WHOLE FIRST PART I always envision it as late season 1 Garrance. Specifically when Garroth had his depressive episode (WHICH BY THE WAY GUYS WAS NOT HIM BEING AN INCEL!! IT WAS HIM BEING DEPRESSED AND MANIPULATED AND MOST LIKELY BRAINWASHED STOP VILLAINIZING HIM). Laurance did try to talk to him in that one episode, and it obviously didn't work. Laurance CARES about Garroth, like thats obviously super clear, and to see someone close to him randomly go into hiding and act all depressed is scary to him. And then... THE WINDOW TO YOUR RIGHT IS QUITE LITERALLY THE PORTAL TO THE IRENE DIMENSION!! Garroth goes left (to Zane) and Laurance stays right (to Aphmau). THE LINES OF FEAR AND BLAME? Laurance finds out that Garroth was tricked. He's scared of Garroth rn because he's literally insane but he blames himself too, not just for being part of the illusion that made Garroth become like this, but also because he wasn't there to help him out more maybe. He could've saved him, but he couldn't, and it still plagues him especially after he escapes the Irene Dimension. Garroth is all alone there with his brother who wants to kill him.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Yes this continues with the last part. But Laurance lost a friend here. Like. Not just by Garroth betraying them, but by him getting stuck in a dimension thats practically torture. And the bitterness? ITS THE BITTERNESS GARROTH WAS LOST IN!!! Laurance would stay up with Garroth all night... but he didn't know how to save a life.

Let him know that you know best 'Cause after all, you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along And pray to God He hears you And I pray to God He hears you, and Alright this is were a lot more interpretation comes in because once Garroth returns, they interact like... TWICE??? The scene were Laurance goes out of character and hates on Aaron (although he had a point) and when he finally saw Garroth again but Aph was dressed as Zane. I also don't remember the ending of Season 2 that much; most of my strongest memories of MCD is Season 1. So like. Bear with me here. But this is Garroth to Laurance now. Laurance is now going insane. The calling (whatever that is because it is so unclear) is well... calling to Laurance. To me, Laurance's mental health is literally just spiraling. And Garroth, someone who has had his fair share of mental health struggles, wants to help. He knows best; he knows to talk to people, he knows the dark paths it can bring people. He's trying to get through to Laurance and telling him whats wrong, how he can help. But of course, in this situation, Laurance can't listen. He can't hear Garroth, and Garroth's close connection with the religion in MCD is a bonus for the final lines too.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Of course the chorus is back because I have to explain this perspective too. By now, I imagine Laurance has left. Garroth feels guilty; someone who helped keep Aphmau together while he was gone and someone he loved. This is really simple but like, I can't skip over this.

As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he'll say he's just not the same And you'll begin to wonder why you came AND NOW THIS IS BOTH PERSPECTIVES!! It shows the parallels between their own journeys. Let's start with Garroth, since we have more stuff on him. Garroth was very defensive during his depressive episode and during the final episode of season 1, he has one final choice. Go with Zane, or come to his senses. And he does admit to everything, but at first, he said he's just not the same. BECAUSE HE WASN'T!! HE WAS SAD AND MANIPULATED. But for Laurance, he would also be defensive about this. His own self will is being stripped from himself because of weird Nether laws and he's spiraling. Garroth tries to help... but he simply can't. There is nothing he can do. OR MAYBE THERE IS?? Idk this is kind of just in my mcd rewrite universe and i like to imagine theres some way Laurance does get better but at the same time realistically... would he?? The nether is like so strong. Like how would he do that. But he does have a choice: either go to the Nether, or stay with his group. He can either admit it's hard, or he's just changed and leave. And now the final chorus and everything plays and its kind of the same as before... ive gotten increasingly more eepy during this writing and I hope my rambling style got my ideas across because this song literally got in my top 5 spotify wrapped because i kept imagining garrance angst to it. its so them god one day i need to share stuff about my rewrite. theres so much random stuff i have in there and this song is really important to it. i just like. GARRANCE RAHHH. my former interpretations of this song also had an aphmau perspective, which does entirely work; like. imagine the final verses is mirroring her own experiences with garroth AND laurance. i love garrancemau (SHE HAS TWO HANDS!! ignore how i also ship her with two more people too she can just hug them all at once) but i cant put it into this song as much as i used to because its so garrance. theyre so ugh i love my sad little gay men!! anyways toodles my rant here is done

[bandarrrrr]

A letter to someone whom I think needs it~

A letter to ✨Maalik✨, A letter to my 1am Maggi partner (online wale), A letter to my friend and first person jinke sath my music taste matched 99% , A letter to a fellow Rikhari ka diwana❤️‍🔥

Dear Maalik (that's what I call you😭)

I know you are not fine and your life seems to be at its lowest point, but I want you to keep your head up in confidence as always, like a fighter you are, A fighter who has fighted for too long, a fighter who deserve to rest, who deserves to be love.

I know you feel unloved and alone a lot of times, but I want you to remember that you are the person who makes the server active with his presence, a person jiski awaaz se sabko pyaar hai, ek aisa insaan jisne mere sath raat ke 12 baje online maggi banayi thi like that day was best one, Ek insaan who is loved by me and holds a special place in my heart Infact who is loved by everyone and holds special place in everyone's heart, a person who would burn the world for everyone who is close to him. Yes you have a great importance in everyone's life, you hold a great importance in my life.

I know you can't move on from your past, but I want you to tell that ~ "There is no future in past" So stop hurting yourself for someone who doesn't even care, You will meet a lot of girls who will cherish you, who will actually do anything for you, Usse bhi behtar you will find your Miss Right, jo sirf aapke liye ho gi, to sab Kanha ji pe chor do, sab samay par chor do.

And last but not the least some songs, cause you love em, par ye mera music taste hai so lower expectations,

Sorry for writing this letter in your ask box kabhi blog pe bhi daalungi par abhi isse kaam chala lo.

From

Phoolon ki rani 😋

Tammu you don't even know what this letter means to me, yeah I am going through a lot of shit right now but I'll be fine, haa mere se interact nhi Kiya jaata when I am suffering, I love suffering alone I guess, them you for thinking so much about me, you are too apsara of our server and you have a very special place in my heart aswell, and yes, Rikhari to pyaar hai hum dono ka and no, no song in the list was bad, I love them all

[cloudbellsv3]

Yall it's edging towards 1am and here I am literally sobbing my eyes out about SteveNat.

There's this line in AOT where Ymir goes "I don't care what that says about me. You guys wouldn't know what it's like....she knows that a shifty person I am, but she still smiles at me."

And with my stony brainrot, of course I immediately went to connecting it to Tony, like duh. And then I started thinking about how much it fits Bucky and Steve too...maybe even a little more. But then my brain hit a goldmine when I thought about this literally just being Natasha. Like I can barely type right now because my eyes are so blurry FUCK.

Cause in Bucky's case (in the MCU at least....616 Bucky is more of a Natasha situation) he was quite literally brainwashed and didn't have control. Like, physically didn't have control. Tony's situation is more....fluid, but he still wasn't Natasha who was groomed into a master assassin and remained that way up until Clint intervened. She's done some wicked stuff directly, and again, not really her fault, but she doesn't see it that way - or rather, she's absolutely incapable of forgiving herself completely for her past.

Holy hell, I could only imagine the things her and Steve talked about post-Civil War. Even post-CATWS. And Steve definitely has a clear idea of the things she's done before she joined SHIELD....but it doesn't matter to him. And that's how he is with all the Avengers. It's not what they used to be, but who they are currently. And that must hit Natasha extra hard. You could tell during that conversation where he confirmed he trusts her. Such an important scene.

Okay Imma stop here cause I need to sleep but gosh. I love her so much. I love STEVE so much. Everyone loves Steve.

(Side note: I almost made a similar post for Steve and Bruce or Steve and Wanda but the Nat feels got to me. Plus there's a lot more evidence to pull from with Nat.)

(Side, side note: I still am thinking so hard about this being Tony and Steve....I can never escape the stony thoughts.....)

[ducknotinarow]

// feel I should address the curret state of the blog and why i just havent had anything the past few days.

for the second point uwu a bitch be tried cause waking up at 1am aint fucking easy XD so I sleep in till 2am at best but dont give me much time for anything like before. annnnnd its be a draining week plus some bullshit I wont go into u-u so I just been a tad to tried. I dont really have a staple plan on when i'll write like a schudeal or anything cause admittedly I saw me not writing every day did let me do other stuff too which was nice. I don't plan to go back to posting every day but I still wanna post often soo for now! imma see about when I feel like writing and do it then.

Not set certain days up per say cause mt work schedule a tad screwy this time of year and don't normally get normal again tile march at best. soo for now i'll be figuring it out mostly and update if I feel something solid sticks? My idea is every other day maybe. Or at best four days a week? XD this is why I hadn't said nothing really cause I dunno i was just gonna go with the flow and see what I do? I may make a post on days replies are set at least? I still like using a que personally after all if that seems like a good way to go?

but I think i'll still post fun things between and be a tad more interactive with my muses just let them comment on things going on uwu I done it here and there and I dunno it just fun for small junk ya know? okay im done rambling XDD

[crosswordgf]

its past 1am and i still havent done any of the readings for the seminar that starts at 10 tomorrow and im still like eh i'll get to it........... like genuinely i could skip and it'd just give me time to read more which is good but i 1) want human interaction and 2) don't want to realize i can skip whenever cause thats a slippery slope. so i guess my plan is to get up early tommorow and do the reading then but i KNOW i'll be too sleepy and just stay in bed... problems and issues and so on

[diary-of-a-would-be-success]

Hmmm

Hi Josh, I cried all night. Why do I always feel betrayed? Why don't I have people that can stand by me. Maybe asking for selfless friends is too much, but why can't people in my life just reciprocate how I feel and act towards them? Is that too much to ask? Is something wrong with me? Yesterday I had to borrow money from a loan shark app - 12,000. I needed to send mom 10,000 and I didn't have any cash in hand. I had requested for a withdrawal from one of my accounts of 60,000 that takes just a day to arrive. But I had to borrow from an app that charges you 20% interest in 2 weeks. I have friends who I've helped in thier own hard times in every way, but I cannot count on any one of them, especially those who I've helped the most. I have friends who do nothing for me. Our entire relationship is about what I get to do for them. What is wrong with me exactly? I'm a lonely young man, not by choice. But I've settled with the fact that although I'm the brother that will stand beside everyone, I cannot count on anyone. I run awya from that fact as much as I can, and I tried to yesterday. But I couldn't sleep for hours and I broke down at around 1am when I just surrendered to the fact - I'm by myself. I need to truly be alone, I need to accept this and let everyone go, start afresh. But how can I do that to them? How will I help them if I let them go? See what I'm saying? I'm thinking of letting people who are never truly there for me go and I feel like I'm doing something bad. What is wrong with me?

It's alright. I got consoled when I realized there's one person that perfectly understands my position; the one person whose best friends betrayed and denied, the one person who does good for everyone but everyone around him is there because of what they get from him, or because they have to. I got consoled in the image of Jesus in that night when Peter denied him and walked away. That's the only reason I could sleep.

But it's a new day. The fact that you exist is proof that I did get past this. So, we keep going. I did everything I planned for yesterday and worked more than I had planned. I just realized today that I've no longer been adding "avoid lust" to my daily tasks, it has become too easy that it almost isn't a problem. I've been saying no to both thoughts and people. Well, I've not been saying 'no' to people exactly, I'm too nice to do that. I've just been telling stories and giving excuses to get out of lustful situations. It's easy now because I'm in a moment of strength, but if I continue like this they will get me in my weak times. I really don't want to cause anyone pain.

But I know enough now to know that this is a dangerous place to be in. If I'm not careful, I'll be back in masturbation, pornography and lust. It's important to keep it in my mind for now. I just had a different thought: maybe I need to put something else in my thoughts. How do you keep the opposite of lust in your mind while also not ignoring the potential for lust?

What would I have done by the end of today? I'd have: spent 3 hours in reserach work (there's currently no electricity, but I will if it comes) spent 30 minutes reading a book dropped all devices by 10pm actively avoided lust in all its forms started researching data for the essay competition (more about it tomorrow)

The more progress I make the more I see that I need to do. Is this normal?

Anyway, see you later.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Having god awful insomnia lately but it is so fun to see you on my dash at these hours so that's nice, at least. -Rotten Anon

I'm sorry that you're having insomnia :( I have experienced really terrible insomnia before - mainly before I got on the right birth control that helped a lot of my symptoms, so I definitely know how shitty and awful it is

When I was in high school, I used to go for up to four days without sleeping. There was times when I took tests and had them handed back to me graded without remembering that I took the fucking test in the first place

One time I went an entire weekend without sleeping - Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and on Sunday, my mom invited me to go antique shopping with her - and I thought that getting out and doing some activity would finally make me exhausted enough to fall asleep. So I went with her and I ended up staring into a random mirror for ten minutes thinking it was a portrait of someone who looked eerily like me (a la the Haunted Mansion - how the deceased bride from years ago has a portrait that looks a lot like the modern wife). Shit was bonkers

Luckily, now, even if I don't always sleep well and sleep is still something I struggle with, my body does get exhausted enough to TKO after like 48 hours. Which I consider lucky after the hell of being awake for like 78 hours and feeling like I can smell colours and not being able to fall asleep no matter what I try

But right now, I am on such a weird sleep schedule. Which does happen to me often. My ideal sleep schedule is going to bed at light 9pm (I am not even kidding) and waking up comfortably at 6am or 7am. I like having some quiet time to myself before everyone else gets up - cause that's usually when I get a lot of writing done. Even if I wake up at like 4am when it's still dark out, I don't mind that, because I can get that peaceful alone time - I know a lot of people prefer to do that at like 1am-3am after everyone else falls asleep, but I don't really like that because I don't like to have my alone time after I have done a full day of activities and I'm already exhausted. At that point I would rather just sleep lmao

But to me, prime time for peaceful alone time is from 3am-8:30am before everyone else gets up and starts their day - I can get breakfast, watch TV, fuck around, and I get a lot of writing done during this time.

But because of my illness, my 'schedule' is not even a schedule. At any given of the month, I could be waking up at 9am or 9pm and going to bed at 5pm or 5am. I literally have no schedule whatsoever (which my online posting reflects lmao)

For the past few days, I have been going to sleep midafternoon - at like 1pm, 2pm, 3pm and waking up at MIDNIGHT. which is my least fucking favourite time to wake up ever. it's too late to eat dinner with my family so I end up eating cereal or something for dinner? and it's waaay to 'early' to call it 'morning' - and I end up being tired for BED by fucking lunch time. ass oclock time to wake up

but I have been taking advantage of it in order to work on a fic lmao. yesterday I wrote 3k on a fic - and if I keep up that pace, then I'll have another finished oneshot in order to be edited and posted later (because editing is the part that takes up the most braincells. I can't do that shit right now)

ANYWAY I HAVE BEEN RAMBLING SO MUCH OMG. I am glad that my presence online is making you smile <333

[dreamingincerulean]

A River Runs Through IT.

Rough goins, today.

I sat in a hammock and watched the wind dance through the pines above, as the sun set before me.

Contemplated the fact that all my family basically abandoned me in my greatest time of need....yet again.

But that's the past, and the past can't hurt you if you're being mindful and living in the moment. I think the forest taught me how to be mindful, today. Truly, absolutely mindful. It was a meditation, and a medication. And it was much-needed.

I stuck my hand in the swollen creek, after four days of being cooped up in a 8x12 shed all day every day with fighting dogs and a cabin-feverish boyfriend......realizing my sister was turning her back on me for the millionth time in our lives.

I touched the water, and recognized the benefits of being like the water, and not the rocks stuck on the bottom of the water. Or the leaves hindering the water. The water is going places, it's helping things grow and mature. And the rocks and leaves stilt the water's progress. If I don't let things go, I'll be a rock on the bottom of the river. If I become like the water, I'll go places. I'll keep going places. The water of this world goes soooooo many places! I want to be the water in a creek after four days of almost nonstop rain.

I just worked a full week. Well....30 hours. It was hard, getting back into workaholic-mode. But it will be worth it, not to have to live in this tiny shack.

We are exactly where we were meant to be, all along. The journey was harrowing, wild and wonderful. I've seen and experienced so much over the past two years. It's mind-boggling how much I've grown, as a person. I recognize how bitter and fucky I was, the 8 years I lived in Indiana.

But enough about that. I'm here for the future.

We can't go grab up a cheap ass house somewhere. The air bnb owners grabbed them up, the fuckers.

We can't grab a trailer. Those things cost an arm and a leg.

So we'll grab a big ass shed and hope for the best.

And apparently we'll never receive packages because Arkansas is stupid. Basically.

Being an adult is weird. Things you thought would be straight-forward are twisted and hidden from plain view. How does one go about getting their property on the map for FEDEX and UPS?

Beats the fuck out of me.

It's not by getting a 911 address, that's for damn sure. Not here in Arkansas, as least.

Do you know where you go to learn this information? Because I don't either.

It's a desert.

Now I want a dessert. But it's 10 minutes to 1am, so I should shove off of here.

And hey, remember, kids.... new construction is fucked, as far as mail delivery goes unless you have like a deed or something, so if you're renting property make sure things can be delivered. More often than not, that cool thing that store that lives down the road from you does NOT in fact carry what you saw online, and the prices may differ greatly, too. So buying off amazon or sam's club can become an impossibility and cause domestic strife. Just saying....

[eiraeths]

it's what 1am where I am ? don't rlly know don't rlly care BUT I've just re-read all of your COD fic on ao3 and idk if the theory of "feelings are stronger past midnight" is true but I NEED TO SAY THINGS NOW.

I just can't get enough of your stories! Saying I fell in love with your writing style could be a strong word to use but it's close, close to it. I already shared my excitement and love under one of your Fic but idk I feel like I should say it again and again, give you the reconization you (and every young or not artist) deserve... (I'll take the theorie).

So, like I said, and probably will continue to, you're an amazing writter, we love your works, we appreciate all of the effort you puts up and, well, thanks, for being this way and letting us having pieces of your mind through your works. I don't have the heart of being I writter yet, but I do have the heart to be the biggest supporter I can ever be to writters/artists, strangers or not. Yeah, feelings,

I originally came here to ask questions, again, but LOL, it didn't go according to plan...

My god all of this sound so 🧚🏽‍♂️🧚🏽‍♂️ or whtv but I never clicked so fast with stories and their world this fast so my brain handles it like that

Well enough of this! google translate ins't google translating anymore so i'll stop there for tonight

lots of love take care and see ya!

🍓

omg hello! thank you so much!! wonderfully high honors that you think of my writing so highly it’s so very appreciated. i recognize your username every time you comment. i love your comments and questions very much cause here’s the thing: writing boils down to asking questions. asking questions about what happens next or what should this character say or how will this impact the story. when you ask questions you’re helping me out a lot and it makes me slow down and solidify things i hadn’t realized on my own so please ask away! i’ll always take the time to respond. thank you for the ask and the comments. much love <3

also if you decide to start writing let me know i’d love to read it and i can do my best to give advice if you’d like