#I don't honestly have a solution except education

[krakensdottir]

I think you’ve hit it here. The biggest factors are that SeaWorld is a for-profit megacorporation (so it’s immoral to the same degree as, say, Disney) and they DID trade in wild-caught animals initially, as did absolutely every marine park at the time. The idea that things might’ve changed a bit since they opened in 1964, or since the 70s-80s when some of the most-quoted incidents occurred, is kind of lost on the public. SeaWorld today is as different from its early days as all modern accredited zoos are, but that’s not the narrative presented by ARAs or disgruntled ex-trainers, and that’s what the public hears.

Me, I actually believe what I do BECAUSE I know so much about them. I have the records, decades’ worth of them. I have the lists of deaths and causes of death. I have the statistics on breeding programs. I can see the lifespans extending and breeding success skyrocketing over the decades. I can see the shift from wild acquisition to captive breeding and simply improving the health of the animals so that they live longer. I have the facts, and I can form my own conclusions without basing them on someone’s narrative. I also have a lot of data on non-cetacean species in other facilities to compare it to, and I can see for myself that many cetaceans do very well in human care, even compared to land animals.

But I had to dig for all of that information. I had to ignore PETA and the media-hungry ex-trainers who haven’t worked at SeaWorld in decades and all of the other loud voices completely dominating the conversation, and actually get hold of inventory reports and death certificates and studbooks and put it all together. Most people do not have the patience for this. Which would be fine, if they’d accept ‘hey, I don’t really know enough about this subject to comment’. But they’re going and forming opinions anyway, based on much worse information, and it becomes very easy to stir up a resistance to something that isn’t actually happening.

And again, like, we know that SeaWorld as an organization is absolutely concerned with profit first. We realize this. And there are plenty of valid criticisms to be made about the way they operate in the present day, about management decisions and shitty public relations and oh yes, their treatment of their human employees, who are MUCH less valuable than the prized whales and dolphins and are treated accordingly. Even some of their animal-management practices (which are usually not decided by the trainers, the people who actually know the animals) are pretty dumb. But no one is talking about those issues or discussing them in a rational light. Because it’s much, much easier to get people upset over the carefully constructed image of poor tortured whales in bathtubs being forced to do tricks, vs. happy carefree animals frolicking in a sea pen that’s just miraculously paid for. Sure, it’s completely divorced from reality, but that doesn’t matter. It’s propaganda, and it works.

How come SO many are very against sea world? and whats some repiles to give to the anti sea world crowd?

I can only speculate as to why SeaWorld became the #1 target of animal rights extremists, but I think it was a variety of factors. Although they’re an accredited zoological facility, with all that entails, their parent organization (SeaWorld Parks & Entertainment) is a for-profit entertainment company. They initially purchased most of their collection animals from wild captures, and although this was common practice for all zoos historically, these captures took place in living memory and were documented on film. Killer whales are among the most intelligent and charismatic of all animals, and they served as SeaWorld’s main attraction for decades. Plus, thanks to movies like Free Willy, the public already had a subconscious “anti-captivity” bias, although SeaWorld for years seemed largely exempt from this, probably due to their hugely successful presentation of their whales as the famous “Shamu family.”

All this served as ideal ammunition following the tragic death of Dawn Brancheau, but had she never been killed, I sincerely doubt the anti-SeaWorld sentiment would’ve taken off quite like it did. The general public was absolutely shocked by this death, and I think at least part of that was SeaWorld’s own fault. Even though they were instrumental in changing public opinion of killer whales from mindless fish-stealing monsters to beloved icons, they went too far in the opposite direction by portraying them as basically giant friendly ocean dogs. It was too easy for the audience of the Shamu shows to forgot that this was still an enormous, incredibly powerful, wild predator, and when Tilikum killed Dawn, they just couldn’t understand it. How could Shamu do this? Weren’t orcas supposed to be friendly, lovable creatures with a mystical connection to human beings? Cue the Blackfish crew and their supporters (PETA, HSUS, etc.) swooping into create this narrative that the only reason this horrible tragedy could ever have occurred was if the orcas were abused and tortured to the point of psychosis. After all, they’re a for-profit company. They purchased captured orcas 40+ years ago. Killer whales are so intelligent and live in families just like humans, so they must have the same desires as humans. Look, we even have a handful number of ex-trainers willing to speak against their former employer. Never mind their AZA accreditation or robust research and rehabilitation efforts. Animal rights activists have always campaigned against zoos and aquariums, but this was the perfect situation to get their previously fringe beliefs presented to the wider public.

And boy oh boy, was it successful.

As for good resources in support of SeaWorld and similar facilities, I discuss it in this post! I have another ask that I’m working on answering that will go over some rebuttals to the most common anti-Seaworld talking points, so keep an eye out for that!

[cloudraker]

hello! may i have a fic about tfp breakdown comforting his sad n stressed s/o? maybe they cuddle and have a stress nap together?

For sure! Thank you for requesting <3 I don't really do fics much anymore except for special events and the like, so I hope you're okay with headcanons ^^

Breakdown with a Stressed S/o

Under the cut :)

Breakdown isn't unobservant, so he's quick to catch on when something's wrong. He'll give you the opportunity to bring it up yourself, but will eventually bring it up if you don't do it yourself

He's trying his best but he's,,, honestly not the best at talking about feelings and stuff. He's mostly able to listen and try to provide solutions, but has more trouble relating to your problems unless they're something he himself has experienced

Might ask Knock Out for some help, but whatever advice he gets he probably doesn't use cause it kinda sucks

In the end he takes you aside and stumbles his way through a conversation. It's painfully awkward but it's clear he's trying his best and it serves it's purpose in getting you to open up with what's been bothering you

He's quiet as you talk, nodding along and asking the occasional question when he needs something clarified, but is otherwise silent as you take the time you need

When you've finished venting, he scoops you up and holds you close. Tenderness is rare amongst the Decepticon ranks, but he takes the risk to make you feel better the only way he knows how

If that includes a stress nap, then so be it

He makes sure you take proper breaks from now on, often taking his own breaks with you to make sure you're getting enough rest. If it's work itself that's been stressing you out, he'll try to help out where he can, but with his own workload and his limited education it might be a bit hard

Overall his approach is making sure you know he's there to help should you need it, and taking breaks with you when you need them

[rollercoasterwords]

coed schooling or activities are actually often detrimental to girls, forcing them into support roles for their male peers. you can idealize that everyone is hurt under gender and patriarchy, but they are not hurt equally.

i'm assuming this is in response to the tags on the question i answered about girl scouts/girl guides? because other than that post i have not talked about sex-segregated schooling at all on this blog as far as i'm aware lol. but sure, whatever, let's get into it

coed schooling or activities are actually often detrimental to girls, forcing them into support roles for their male peers

right off the bat, if this is something you wanted to have a real conversation about, i'd ask you to refine what you're referring to--"or activities" is an incredibly broad category. are we talking about coed sports teams? summer camps? playdates? choirs? i'd probably have different thoughts depending on how you refine this category, so i'm going to table that part of your ask right now and focus only on schooling in my response.

the idea that girls perform better in sex-segregated schools is something i've heard before. but the actual research, as far as i'm aware, is inconclusive. here's an aclu article giving a brief overview of the disagreement within the research. i don't personally have the time to undertake a literature review of the field just to answer a tumblr ask, but one thing i'd say it's important to be aware of--in studies making this claim, what is their sample size? how are they measuring "achievement"? and, importantly, what other factors could be influencing their results? it's impossible to have two schools that are completely identical in every way except sex segregation, so we need to look at possible mitigating variables. is the sex-segregated school being studied a private school in a wealthier area? are the class sizes smaller? are the teaching methods different? do the students have more stable home lives? considering that there will always be these other variables to take into consideration, i'm not particularly compelled by any study making a sweeping claim that girls will always do better in sex-segregated environments, especially considering the conflicting research that already exists on the subject.

that being said, i do think it's important to discuss how sexism pervades school environments and how socializing children to fit certain gender roles from a young age impacts the ways they interact with each other. but even to the extent that young girls feel pressured to take on a "support role," i don't think segregating schools based on sex is a particularly useful solution. it may treat some of the symptoms of sexism, sure, but it doesn't treat the underlying cause: the gender roles these children have been socialized to conform to in the first place. (also, like--if the solution here is "all schools should be sex-segregated," do you honestly think that would result in an equitable allocation of resources amongst those sex-segregated schools?) personally, i think it would be more useful in most cases to actively work with kids to break those gender roles, rather than dividing them into "boys" and "girls" in a way that reifies the idea that such roles are inescapable. additionally, there are plenty of other factors that could be affecting girl's educational achievement that wouldn't be addressed simply by removing boys from the equation; things like how much funding their schools get, the size of classes, the teaching methods, etc. i don't think sex-segregation is a particularly wholistic approach to addressing this issue. not to mention the ways in which it fails to account for trans and intersex children.

you can idealize that everyone is hurt under gender and patriarchy, but they are not hurt equally

i'm not sure how intentional your word choice is here, but i'm not "idealizing" anything. saying that everyone is harmed by gender essentialism and patriarchy is a statement of fact. i have never argued that that harm is "equal," so i'm really not sure where you're getting that impression from; i think i'm usually pretty intentional about focusing on the fact that material harm varies under patriarchy and that different people will have varying investment and gain varying power from the institution. in fact, it's because this harm varies so greatly that i tend to be wary of sweeping generalizations about what all girls/all women/etc will experience under patriarchy--i think when we make those kinds of generalizations, we tend to end up privileging one certain kind of experience, and that one certain kind usually tends to be white, wealthy, cis, etc.

at the end of the day, when it comes to addressing problems with sexism, i think that any solution which reifies gender essentialism will not lead to liberation. that is a pretty fundamental stance to everything i talk about on this blog, and if that's something you're in absolute disagreement with then you probably shouldn't be here.

[m1ssjess]

Just fucking goes to show that when I get excited about something and start actually talking about it that it gets fucking ripped away from me.

Like I finally had an answer to the question "what's new with you?" And now i fucking don't. And it finally hits me, 8 hours after the fact that I am genuinely sad. That I fucking threw myself into a new role at work and dare I say I am.good at it and I get pulled, from no fault of my own, but because another staff is having a difficult time. And like I want to tell me boss 'you wouldn't pull Tia from her program" "but Jess you are just support staff" yeah.... like all I ever am is fucking support staff.

And my brain is just like "well at least you wouldn't be pulled from YOUR program...." except a few fucking years ago I WAS. FOR THE EXACT SAME REASON. another fucking staff having a difficult time.

And what could be a solution? Finally finishing my education? That WOULD gain me some much needed seniority abd job stability.... but FUCK then I would be over qualified for my program and I would be needed elsewhere abd they would put someone else in my program

Anyways I am spiraling

But wow... 8 hours for it to hit me that all the fucking effort I put into a new role was for fucking naught. And rhe staff replacing me is honestly over qualified to be a support staff... but FUCK FUCK FUCK

[telperinquaar]

AI-Anon here - I messaged you because I woke up with a headache, and I follow you, I made the mistake of clicking past my chatgpt/ai content filter, and chose violence instead of peace.

😅 The first thing I say every time someone brings up AI to me is to correct them to "Bullshit Machine" because that is the most efficient way of describing the actual product. The thing is that there are a lot of situations where bullshit is good enough - and many more in which it is catastrophic.

and that's really the nuance that I see most disregarded from the conversation - AI has huuge weakspots - from the impact on the environment, to the hallucinations, to a whole lot of others. But by blanket ignoring the people who use it, you don't learn from how they have dealt with those issues, or get the chance to educate them if they are unaware.

Except the environmental issue, that is a large one. But so is the use of rare earth metals in cell phones and electronics. Recyling is in shambles. Yesterday I ate a hamburger. There are a lot of individual choices I make every day for convenience that in aggregate are huge problems. I personally think it is more productive to question the large-scale implementation of AI in every app than criticize individual specific and intentional uses of it. Personally, I HATE the way ai is bundled into every type of search bar these days - it's both a terrible use of resources and a source of misinformation.

Lastly, in one of your previous messages you suggested alternative methods to compensate for my word recall issue. I use AI because it's fastest and works best with the way my brain struggles when I am deep in the midst of brainfog. I use a thesaurus when I am looking for options to change the tone of my writing. I am suuure you have always loooved when someone suggested other ways for you to deal with your adhd because its definitely one of those things that has one size fits all solutions. <- buckets of sarcasm, but not meant to be mean

I messaged you because I woke up with a headache, and I follow you, I made the mistake of clicking past my chatgpt/ai content filter, and chose violence instead of peace.

Okay but honestly this is so relatable, anon. I do this all the time. 😭

But by blanket ignoring the people who use it, you don't learn from how they have dealt with those issues, or get the chance to educate them if they are unaware.

I definitely try to remind users that ChatGPT isn't like google, and you should be googling instead of using it as a research tool, but so many people are younger and just assume I hate fire and think Thomas Edison was a witch. Sometimes, imo most of the time, if you want to learn something, you're better off going to Google.

There are a lot of individual choices I make every day for convenience that in aggregate are huge problems. I personally think it is more productive to question the large-scale implementation of AI in every app than criticize individual specific and intentional uses of it. Personally, I HATE the way ai is bundled into every type of search bar these days - it's both a terrible use of resources and a source of misinformation.

Oh, absolutely, and I agree that the onus of things like that is on the companies rather than the individuals. It's not your water bottle that's the plastic in the ocean, it's the industrial fishing nets. But half a liter per "conversation", for something I could just as easily look up through other means, is definitely a higher cost than I personally feel comfortable with.

I also have a lot of resentment for the way that AI scraping seems to be opt-out (instead of opt-in)(if you can opt out at all), and the fact that I can't fucking escape it. One or two rich morons decided this was the wave of the future and now it's everyone's problems.

I am suuure you have always loooved when someone suggested other ways for you to deal with your adhd because its definitely one of those things that has one size fits all solutions. <- buckets of sarcasm, but not meant to be mean

Fair enough, you just happened to hit on something I'm passionate about, both as an artist and an environmentalist, so I reacted a bit strongly.

For the record, having cooled down and stepped back a bit, while your reasoning and use of AI aren't my favorite thing, and while I stand by my original point of "anti-AI isn't inherently ableist", I do want to apologize for anything that may have come off as unnecessarily harsh. I do think there's a place for AI, but I don't think a novel-writing competition is the place for it.

[lunarsilkscreen]

Outting Trans Kids

I've been trying my best to stay out of this since my previous understanding was *I don't know what detransitioners go through*. I maintain that their testimony is only good for the queer community as a whole. (As long as they're not used to disenfranchise trans people as a whole )

Medical transition is NOT easy to get anywhere. And after getting it, people will take it upon themselves to steal your medication "for your own protection". (I'm F*ing 35, give me back my medications.)

I don't know why a trans person would wish to detransition *except* if they would like to have children of their own. It's a heavy mental toll for either decision in that case. And medical providers should be aware that both can harm a trans person.

I'll state that I know people that knew they didn't want children when they were young, and that never changed when they got older.

Me personally? I can't function as a whole person in the detransitioned state. (I'm talking Estrogen and Testosterone blockers) it's a night and day experience. The brain fog is back with a vengeance, and I cannot function as I used to, just keeping my head down and staying distracted with a job. Which is part of the reason I needed to leave the military in the first place. Because I couldn't function EXCEPT to goto work, and my work output was constantly getting worse. (Even as my skill improved which partially covered up the issue.)

Ok.

The reason the queer community doesn't like outing is because of queerphobia. Forcing the teachers to tell the parents put the teachers in confrontation with those parents if they are anti-trans or anti-queer. Parents in the past have gone heavy handed in forcing gender norms on their kids in order to "fix them" in the past, and this has resulted in increased suicide amongst queer youth.

The teachers may be put into a situation where doing their job can literally lead to that child's death.

On the other hand, that doesn't mean parents *won't* be understanding. And that information, as stated, can help them with the care of their children. But... Conversion Therapy (Therapy designed to force queer youth to not be queer.) Is still legal, and is still dangerous.

To be clear, I went to a religious summer camp that was uncomfortable for me to be at. (I got a perfect score in archery my second time shooting with a bow.) That's not what I'm considering as conversion therapy. It's literally an education designed to "make men, men" and "make women homemakers". And the "make men, men" part can be likened to torture. Which, you know, some people enjoy that. I wouldn't send unwilling or unprepared kids to that.

I feel like a lot of this sounds like rambling. But it's all important for the overall point.

So what do we do? Honestly, the only way to normalize being queer or trans is to stop hiding. Some parents are shitty parents, and they should probably not be parents. And outing the kids, while uncomfortable, outs the bad parents too.

But the system we have in place for children with unfit parents, the adoption care, everything sucks. Queer people are all but banned from adopting (unless they're in a hetero-assuming relationship) and some of the families that do give care to children abuse those children too.

If you're looking to fix the problem, you have to be willing to fix the WHOLE problem. But as it stands, the laws in places, the societal norms. They all say "Hide being queer, because if you don't, you will be fixed." And for detransitioners, it's worse, because they knew all that beforehand and still feel like they made a mistake.

There is a solution here, and it's not "Stop being queer." None of the "solutions" offered so far ensure that queer people can be. They all say "being queer is bad. And it's not safe to be out." No matter what you think by the queer looking representation in the media you consume. The media is imaginationland.

In the real world, queer people are assumed to be unfixable child predators. Unless they're children, then they're unfixable victims that will be predators when they get older.

As President Obama said, "the wheels of government are slow to turn". And while Queer representation is on the rise, acceptance isn't. We're still either seen as victims or sideshows.

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

HELLO I'M BACK!! GUESS WHO HAS A TERM BREAK COMING IN A FEW DAYS I'M VERY HAPPY :D this ask is Very Long so i'm going to split it up into a few parts

part 1/2

But honestly, it would probably be something like “I’m going to bring a (dead) chicken to class for show and tell and you two need to act horrified and cause a ruckus because it would be fun and it would scare the other kids :)”. (this is probably bullying, so in an effort to make them slightly better kids, an alternative plot is that a stray cat has been coming to their school and in order to make friends with it, they feed it a whole-ass dead chicken Nyo China got from the butchers and was planning to cook for dinner. The teachers are horrified and confiscate Yao’s backpack for fear of germs and salmonella.)

hhhhhh the first idea is SO FUN my gremlin repressed anger eight year old self would've loved it. the idea of bringing a stinking plastic bag to school, opening it, revealing a dead, fly-infested chicken and then maybe playing a small game of lobbing the chicken around for funsies is both simultaneously horrifying and amazing. however the second idea is also amazing, one of my previous schools had stray cats and staff and students would feed and pet them (and i miss it :( ) and it was the Best feeling... or maybe they could do BOTH? but this time they're planning to bring a dead chicken to feed the cat (aw, even if yao probably gets detention. also a lecture from nyo china on what exactly you should feed a cat, including why you shouldn't steal the chicken she bought to feed it.) and the next time they can bring like. a bunch of dead flies to show their classmates but in a not bully way. i went once to this family friend's house in a part of the countryside that had an abundance of flies. (i literally haven't thought of this in years i'm remembering so many childhood things because of this omg) they had this paper covered with glue that the flies would land on and then be stuck on the paper. it was both disgusting and amazing to watch a black mass of bulbous bodies straining with their legs (which were probably thinner than my hair) to escape the paper. i also think that indchuran, being both little sadists in the making and having an abudnace of fascination like many children, would take great delight in watching an unsuspecting fly landing on the glue, watch it still, glancing around eerily similarly to when humans realise they have gotten themselves in a bad situation, and then start struggling with all their might to get out. but fuck the flies tho they landed on our food all the time there and it sucked. they can die :)

THE PROBELM is... how will they get that many flies in what i assume would be a gentrified ass area with frequent fumigation efforts given that nyo china would not accept anything than the best elementary education for her ward?? (i have a solution) maybe indus has friends in the countryside and she goes with aditya to visit them. and while they are talking aditya wanders about and discovers a few pieces of paper filled with flies. because he is a gremlin, he is Fascinated with these pieces of paper, and he takes one out to Further Examine. all the adults yell at him, but he is Fascinated and will not be stopped. and then a Thought occurs to him: who would probably enjoy this as much as he would? duh, his friends of course! good things must be Shared even if they're kind of disgusting! so what he does is he gets a disposable plastic tupperware like container, very gently places the fly paper into it, pokes a few holes for air, sprinkles some sugar because he thinks that'll keep them alive, and wraps most of it up in duct tape he found so indus can't see it. unfortunately most of the flies died on the way home because the container was stuffed into aditya's bag and the paper slid to the side + there wasn't enough air, BUT the dead flies are still a Sight to behold when he visits iran's house (which yao is /coincidentally/ visiting) to show them. then he brings it to school after the weekend, and everyone is Fascinated and thinks it is Very Cool, at least until the teachers see it and start screaming. they throw it away but indchuran get an Idea to put dead flies into the bags of people they hate (this is now just bullying) so that opens up a very few interesting weeks of attempts to collect flies in a fumigated city and Horror for the school. fun times for all!

😔 finding and reading that encyclopedia is probably one of my formative memories now and i wish it wasn't 😔 i bet yao during his teenage years would look back on it and be like "... oh my GOD." but i think he would appreciate her directness even if he didn't absorb all the information correctly or remember most of it lmao because it seems like only a very small percentage of the world has actually good sex ed and i don't think indchuran's school would be an exception. at least nyo china like you said instilled a good sense of consent with them 😔 also the idea of saying fuck in mandarin makes me break out in hives the AUDACITY of saying fuck in your first language but of course he would. he WOULD. nyo china probably wouldn't even have purposely taught him that which is why he doesn't know what it means, just that it's an insult, but once they come up to her to complain all she does is give them a Terrifying Contemptuous Glare and steer yao away from them. yao is her kid and therefore entitled to say fuck whenever he wants.

Prev

First things first I hope you had a good term break! this is... very overdue sorry about that :(

Second, ALSK:FJ:SLFDKSFDLKJSLDF the fly infested chicken is disgusting and I want so badly to intervene,,, they need hELP. Please learn about proper sanitation, children, I’m begging you T-T. Also, headcanon accepted: they’re ostensibly bringing it to feed the cats (which is hopefully allowed) but also they want to terrorize (or awe) their fellow classmates with this discovery. Watch the school call up nyo china about this, but she gets annoyed only because yao wasted human food in order to feed cats, not because he brought an inappropriately dead chicken to school that scared the younger kids and fellow classmates lol; what a great value system. Also this scenario def happened:  School: your child got in a fight. Nyo China: Oh no! Did he win?

I am both fully revolted and half fascinated by the flypaper thing because on one hand I CANNOT stand flies, and killing them is 178% gross. But also the way you described it is... very compelling and I would like to experience that, gross as it is lol. So yea I can definitely see those three nastily observing the flies getting stuck to the flypaper one by one... they all intently watch the flypaper with round and curious eyes and it really looks very cute from far away, three heads of fluffy hair close together and bent over something, carrying on an animated whispered discussion, until you get closer and see that they’re watching flies on flypaper •—•;; An even more gross scenario would be if one of them accidentally squashes one and they crowd around to see what fly guts look like 😭 bonus points if it happens during school. Also YES to Indus’s countryside friend; I feel like India would have a lot of fun exploring over there and would be able to bring back v cool stories for city slicker Yao, and also Iran (although I don’t know where they’d live precisely. I feel like they’d probably have a medium sized house with very nice art and Classy furniture (they got good taste from somewhere), but they’d also knows a lot about how rural areas work and stuff, so uh.. suburbs? Or something like that?)

“then he brings it to school after the weekend, and everyone is Fascinated and thinks it is Very Cool. . .” O—O sigh... three balls of absolute chaos. At least the other kids are fascinated this time instead of apprehensive ^-^ but the dead flies in lockers AL:KDSLFDSJF PLEASE NO me as an elementary student would have been absolutely horrified and I. really hope they get detention for that lol; Please Tone Down kids 😔 (also do y’all get flies in the lights at school? Because every single classroom I’ve been in has either had flies, wasps, moths, or some other black spots in the lights and they’d multiply as the year went on 😭 I never thought about it too much but... what if they linger around to watch the lights get cleaned? o-o)

“i bet yao during his teenage years would look back on it and be like "... oh my GOD."” YEAH there’s always a select few memories that make you realize “what even WAS that” and I think this is one lol. Yao just buries it in the back of his spacious mental closet and makes India and Iran swear not to bring it up again but inevitably they do :))))) they find it rather hilarious, actually. Also yes at least Nyo China did a good job in that department!

“also the idea of saying fuck in mandarin makes me break out in hives the AUDACITY of saying fuck in your first language but of course he would” lol I wrote that thinking he'd call someone a 王八* (because it could technically pass as a regular noun o-o. Who knows, maybe he was insulting someone for being slow like a turtle but it got out of hand due to word choice lol) but... the second scenario is quite something... I don't know whether I should laugh or cry. RIP the other parents who just have to fervently hope that disgraceful kid from next door grows out of his foul mouth soon (he never does, just gets better at pretending his language is elegant and not at all dirty XD)

*for non mandarin speakers 王八 is literally a soft shelled turtle, but is actually a pretty big insult in mandarin :)

[everydayanth]

Question re: cultural appropriation: I am Vampirically WhiteTM (I combust/evaporate if exposed to sunlight over 5 seconds), but I sometimes do *all* my hair in tiny, uneven plaits that don't hug my scalp. Answers on various forums seem to only distinguish between big/sparse braids & Black hairstyles, so there isn't a nuanced answer for, "This style isn't Cornrows but I *do* use all my hair." [1/2]

The intention *isn't* to cuddle up as closely to traditionally African styles as possible, but rather so I can take the braids out 3 days later to poof up like a lion/Princess Merida. Humans are a braiding, weaving species, I really do like doing this thing, & I'm not always of the mindset that just b/c something *might* be problematic, I should just bend to my anxieties/White Guilt. Am I still sending the wrong message with my style? [2/2]

Honestly, I have to start by saying I’m a white female, so the action/consequence of this process holds no harm over me and therefore my answer cannot speak for the people (black, specifically women) being potentially appropriated. I can only speak of my own development and understanding of appropriating black culture, specifically with hair.

I grew up in a “black neighborhood” (a problematic concept in itself) and in school, we sat in a train-line of girls during read-aloud and braided each others’ hair. I learned to braid black hair by 2nd grade. We were kids, we saw the differences in our phenotypic traits, but we adapted and didn’t mind much. One time a friend tried oiling my hair and it did not end well, lol, I was a greasy mop the whole day. Braiding was culturally relevant to us as friends, but also to me as an individual: my mom would braid my hair on her good days. In the summer, she would put my hair in many tiny loose braids, similar to what you described, not cornrows, but small braids because it was hot and we didn’t have ac and it was an easy solution. We were judged accordingly based on uniform and size and I distinctly remember the day I learned about the use of a long pinky nail, lol. I didn’t think about it much until I got to high school, then college and studied social science and talked to POC friends there and really began to understand the problems. 

It’s not the act of wearing your hair in a particular style, we humans learn from each other, we copy, we reproduce, we recreate, and we do it for decoration and efficiency or usefulness. Every culture plays with hair and braids and for every example of appropriation, someone has a counter example perceived to be “their ancestors” or some sort of genetic heritage (”I’m 1/32 Native”) giving them rights to partake in a specific kind of decoration or practice. But that’s not the issue. The issue is that when black people, specifically black women, wear their hair in braids, they are treated disrespectfully by our society, while when white people, specifically women, wear locs or braids, they are often rewarded for being worldly or exotic or interesting. 

There is not a common consensus; “black people” are not made of a uniform opinion, and whether something is problematic or offensive varies from one person to another. Appropriation, however, is a little easier to spot because it comes with a reward to some but with a punishment to the people who owned, initiated, or historically created or utilized a thing in the same way.

Black hair and hairstyles have been historically degraded, and its easy to think we live in a better world, but when Kim Kardashian wears “boxer braids” it becomes a trend, while Sasha Obama’s braids were criticized or attributed to past trends rather than her own rich ancestry. When Zendaya shows up in beautiful dreads and dressed to the nines, she is met with racist remarks, while Christina Aguilera’s were considered an “urban” phase.

Appropriation comes from capitalizing off something that isn’t yours, or that you can remove from your identity should the oppressor challenge you (thus why “white-passing” is often part of the conversation). Actively fighting against it means educating yourself on histories of oppression and abuse, modern social perspectives of white privilege, and what we do with all those pieces. 

Black girls are sent home from school or suspended all the time for wearing their hair naturally, in traditional styles, or in styles like weaves that make black hair easier to manage in a non-African climate. Loose braids worn by black girls are still condemned in schools today, while white girls back from Jamaica go unpunished and their braids and beads remain a symbol of money, experience, and privilege. Black men, as well as black LGBTQ+ individuals, are also judged harshly by different (often white-dominated) groups for their own styles and are definitely part of the conversation. 

Understanding the role of hair in culture and seeing the ongoing inequality is the most important thing we can do. Ideally, someday, we live in a world where we can all do what we want so long as it doesn’t harm another person, but we do not live there, and BIPOC are much more subjected to policing of their images, bodies, and especially hair than white people. 

Hair dressers learn white hair by default, not both, most kids never learn about different hair textures or the evolutionary purpose for the differences, they simply learn that one majority group can do whatever they like without negative reinforcement, while the other must adhere to strict rules to emulate the look of the majority with chemicals, expensive tools, and treatments, or be mocked, judged, degraded, and not able to participate in society without fear or ridicule of their personhood, their bodies, their natural selves, as well as the potential loss of job security, violence, or harsher social punishments, like ostracization, being jailed, or murdered by police without consequence. How a majority identifies an “other” has historically included hair texture and style as well as skin color.

Personally, I think intent matters. I don’t braid my hair anymore as a public style. Sure, I braid clumps of it while watching TV or hanging out around the house if I want something of a uniform wave (my mom has type 3 and my dad has type 2 and I got a franken-head of both lol), but I don’t wear many braids as a style out in public. Wearing braids as a young kid made me look like the girls in my class, it connected me to the people around me, and I was subjected to judgement by the black moms based on quality (at least those who spoke up, again, I was a child). I was blending, but when I got to high school, I realized that wearing braids brought an attention with it - oh, you’re interesting, or pretentious, but for my POC friends, employers made them remove braids. They heard condescending things like “your hair is too ghetto” while I began to hear that I was the “ghetto friend, wow so cool and cultured and street smart.” It was always insulting, but one is shittier (you know which one) because it is only condescending, and seeks to erase culture and judges based on racist biases.

If we normalize black hairstyles through popular trends, that seems like a good thing, right? But if white people are the ones normalizing it, then the agency of black people has been taken away from the black communities and restored through a white-savior complex. Not free will or choice, but through the appropriation of their own culture which then replaces the act of demonstrating culture (like wearing braids) as an act of the oppressor mocking and being praised. 

I know or plenty of white girls who wore braids or dreads or black hairstyles as a counter-culture identifier, in the way of popular artists and celebrities, but also activists and stoners appropriating Rastafarian culture. This makes black culture a counter-culture instead of an aspect of American culture or black culture within America that is respected and valued inherently. It otherizes, fetishizes, and tokenizes black culture, takes advantage of the current racist system and white privilege/bias, and gains an aesthetic. That is an intent to appropriate for social gains, and it’s all over the music industry and Hollywood. 

At the end of the day, I don’t think my opinion here can matter, I’m not harmed by your action. Braids are braids and I have a... not-normal history of exposure and love of black hair that most white girls don’t, but even then, I had to grow and listen and understand the nuances of my environment and the society around it. Is it different wearing styles in the middle of nowhere with no social interactions vs. posting on social media or interacting in society? Yeah, I think it is.

So I suppose the sum of the parts is:

Are you benefitting socially from wearing your hair this way? If so, then yeah, that’s sucky for the BIPOC people being pushed down for doing the same and is harmful appropriation. How you measure that seems to depend on intent, so the bias of wanting to keep doing something you like has to be accounted for. 

Is your intent to fit an aesthetic? If so, yeah, definitely a problem. 

Reflect on why you like doing this, what is it you gain or feel or imbibe or get out of the experience in the first place? I’d say at the end of the day, know the history of oppression that exists in America and around the world. Being aware and able to identify appropriation in media, pop culture, and everyday life, as well as the history of it, allows you to be an ally.

And finally, do you listen to what people are saying?

If/when people say things about your hair, understand that you are a social exception to the style and address it. I do think there is a responsibility to engage in these conversations when we ride the line of these grey areas, like when culture is shared with us, to what extent we participate and own it is 100% dependent on that relationship. Be willing to hear black people if they say it is uncomfortable, listen to what they mean, have a conversation about it and be willing to let go of a thing you want if that is the feedback you get.

I think a lot of appropriation comes from the denial of history and the ignorance of oppression. If Kim K made a statement that said “these aren’t boxer braids, they are cornrows, worn by African American women for centuries, mocked and ridiculed by white culture, but have been an efficient way to manage African textured hair in the new climate environment of the Americas when forced here as slaves. Many were forcibly shaven, but for those who were allowed to express themselves in small subtle ways as slaves, through jim crow, and even today, the decoration and design of cornrows was and is incredibly meaningful.” That’s a different conversation about appropriation, that’s using privilege and platform without placating or denying the experiences of others to educate and address appropriation, rather than solely profiting off the attention and claiming to create a “trend.” Black hair is beautiful and should be appreciated and allowed to be as bold or big as an individual wants it to be. 

Hair is one of the coolest, most useful phenotypic traits of thermoregulation in humans/primates, and science still has a few questions yet to research regarding the evolution of different textures and colors. Your own hair texture can change over time, as you grow, especially in women, depending on hormones, especially through pregnancy, nutrition, and chemical treatments like chemotherapy, as well as genetics, and even environmental changes in water hardness, haircare routine and treatment materials. 

With slavery, migrations, immigrations, and other historic and contemporary movements of humans comes the issues of adaption and change to fit the new environment, fighting forced assimilation, colonization, denial of cultural expression, and active racism. We need to be able to talk about these aspects of race in society and listen if and when people say what we are doing is harmful. I think the most important thing to do is educate ourselves on the purpose, history, and meaning of a thing, particularly if we are gaining positive attention from it while others suffer for it. Talk to people of color around you who are willing to offer an opinion, and listen to them. Research the history and speak up when you see the double standard in practice. 

My line is here: if I can find evidence of a POC being criticized for a style (and it’s not my natural hair), I’m not going to wear that style in public or on social media, but I am going to praise it, and criticize those racist comments degrading or demeaning it, I will champion it and demand schools do away with discriminating hair policies, and ask my library to spend money on children’s books about black hair, and do the work of finding black people voicing their opinions, or having a vulnerable and authentic conversation with a friend, then listen and make a judgement from there. If the consensus is that the style is harmful and you continue to wear it, then yeah I’d say that’s a pretty bad message that says: I just don’t care, I want to do this so I will. 

This follows a moral judgement for me: if you love someone and they tell you a thing you do is actively harming them and show you evidence of the harm (as in: it’s not just annoying, but actually harmful to them), but you continue to participate in the thing, that’s not love. I can’t fully picture the specific style, and I don’t know your intent or if/how you gain from the style, so I’m having a hard time forming a full opinion. Is this a style that has been addressed by black communities as harmful? Is it a few different styles put together? Are you in a diverse place, are you criticized for the look, is it even a look to you? 

Personally, I’d say it rides too close to the line for my own comfort and I wouldn’t be wearing a multi-braid style in public (as in more than two, I rock the french-braid pigtails while hiking because its easier to find ticks), but again, I’m not someone who would be being harmed by it. I often try to resist judgement of strangers’ hair unless I know them and their background or platform, because I don’t know their culture, ancestry, or heritage, so I don’t hold others in society to the same standard as myself.

I’d love to hear other peoples’, particularly POC, opinions and experiences with hair and appropriation. 

If there are a few un-uniform braids, is it different than many uniform loose braids, what about compared to cornrows, where is your personal line? Is it different from your social line? How would you judge or hold people accountable in society?

P.s. Thanks for asking and trying to learn more about the potential social impact you are having. I think that’s a great step toward a more equal world that can appreciate culture without taking advantage of others. It sounds like you’re trying to do your research to learn more about whether your action is having a negative consequence, and I appreciate you taking the time to be vulnerable and research and question yourself. I think that also has to be rewarded.

[actuallyschizoid]

i am so. tired of people. I have a feeling this is the cliche schizoid thing, or something desperate edgy people might say, but I mean it. it's nice to have a list of people to talk to, just because talking fills time. but they've all got issues they try to come to me about, and I don't care about them, at all. or there's always some difference in opinion with us that i'm sure a normal person could get over, but for me it's fucking exhausting. i am so, so very tired of dealing with people

That’s fine, anon. I’m tired of people for past 20 years or so. ^^’ Or, in more intense quality, for past 5 years. To my experience, it’s unlikely to ever change. Except that it might get worse if you force that communication on yourself and/or during PD manifestation. 

But really, that’s not such a big of a deal. You always have a choice whether to keep being tired of people or try to attempt to fix it a bit. There are a few options how it can be done. 

The one probably least radical one is to change your view on dealing with people. Like in your example, in solving problems you don’t care about for people you (probably) don’t care all that much about either. 

Do you realize that it’s likely people approach you with their issues because you might be just better at helping them figure out how to fix those issues then most other people they know? At least, many schizoids are — thanks to the common among us rational (as opposed to emotional, for obvious reason) way of thinking and dulled emotions which save us from suggesting emotional (and useless) solutions.

I too used to get a lot of this, when there were people who could actually reach me for advice (spoiler: very few still do, because, hopefully, not many still remember I exist). Seriously, at some point I felt like some mix of free casual matters detective and relationship consultant in one. Every person who thought to be my friend at least a bit would visit me *only* when they have some troublesome story they suddenly want to share with me and expect me to say something about it. 

Why? Because after I listen to it, I usually tiredly sigh and say something like “isn’t it obvious? just *do the most obvious thing that you already know you need to do but you don’t coz you have emotional reasons stopping you from doing so*, that’s the only sane solution, can’t you see that yourself?”. And more often then people follow that advice... eventually. 

Not sure why, though. Maybe they actually never hear things like that being said to them by most other people they come to? And all they hear is “oh poor you, I’m so sorry, I’d feel the same on your spot, I really would be just as stuck as you are, now let’s cry together and you’ll feel better”? That’d make sense, at least — except that usually they manage to get offended by the lack of sympathy from my side *while still taking the fking advice*. >.>

But, honestly, unless things get out of control when I have no choice whether to help them or to face actual negative consequences for not doing so, I usually don’t mind it too much. Why? Even though I don’t care about those people, and even less so I care about their tiny little problems? 

Well, because solving problems is fun for me. It has always been. It makes me a little bit less bored. Especially in those nasty boredom spikes when nothing else can make me un-bored (and it still happens a lot). Even if those problems are ridiculously easy. Even if it’s a “problem” of what to do with an abusive girlfriend when the friend in question has nowhere to go but to return to parents despite a bit tense relationships with them and a promise that he’ll start to live separately — well, duh... dump her right away, shove your pride about not returning deep down your ass and get some time to recover. Or if that somehow is not an option, get a job already and rent yourself a room, you’re 24 and completely utterly fit and healthy male NT with proper education and absolutely no excuse for not being self-sufficient, the fk are you relaying on a girl that beats you to bruises on daily basis just to live in her house, that’s just ridiculous. (actual problem I had to “solve” by stating the obvious)

Of course, I’d prefer more fun problems to solve. Like something that takes a bit of thinking, maybe some googling and analyzing stuff I didn’t know of before. I wouldn’t care first thing about whose problem to solve, would they feel any better after it, what would they think about me, etc. At best they wouldn’t even know or see me. Really, I just can dig this irl game of puzzles on occasion. It adds some interest to the game when the most effective way of dealing with it wouldn’t be googling a play-through or, alternatively, not googling a play-through while feeling like you’re doing it the wrong way and dodging spoilers flooding from everywhere like fire. 

Anyway, what I’m saying... If you happen to get that treatment often enough to justify it, and the only alternative for you is to either deal with them while getting tired or endure some negative effects for not doing it... well, try to find some interest in doing so? Forget the fact that you help actual people. You’re not doing it for them — you do it coz it’s less boring than looking at the blank wall or, I dunno, watching through another episode of shitty tv-series. 

And, as usual, there’s always an alternative approach to getting tired of people: maybe just avoiding people altogether would help to solve the being tired problem much more efficiently. But it’s often complicated by the fact that getting rid of all people who make you tired is... well, it’s hard. Without sacrificing a ton to do so, at least. It’s definitely not an option for everyone, but for me it somewhat works.

Yeah, you guessed that right — solving problems is exactly what I attempt at doing on this blog in my long replies to random anon questions. More often than not at least — including this one. And yes, I kinda like it. Even if problems aren’t quite on the subject of szpd, I might still reply because... well, why not? Between this and spending an extra hour in a game where I have 1400+ days spent by now, I most likely pick this option. That, of course, doesn’t mean I’d care much whether my reply actually helps anyone or not. ^^’ But I wouldn’t mind if it accidentally does, either. 

To schizoids who read this: do you, folks, feel the same about solving problems? Do you often find yourself in position where people around you expect that you help them?

[scarletteflamerald]

I agree with all of this except the idea that some issues just "aren't meant for teenagers to dissect and discuss." Like, I understand the concern, but the solution isn't to slap a sticker on some topics that says "sorry, kids, you're not allowed to have an opinion on this until you turn 20," it's education. It's teaching kids about nuance, and actually teaching them about these issues at home and at school instead of them learning piecemeal on the internet.

And honestly? Yes, tiktok has a lot of problems, but teenagers wouldn't be nearly as susceptible to those problems if anyone actually bothered to teach them how to discuss things respectfully and listen to each other, which are skills that plenty of adults don't have, either.

I'm a teenager, technically, for another year or so. But you can't honestly expect me to believe that somehow makes me unfit to participate in these "adult-only" discussions, not when I've met plenty of adults that think climate change is fake or vaccines are, like, some kind of corporate scam that can give you mercury poisoning.

Besides, shutting teens out of the conversation doesn't actually fix the problem. If anything, that's probably part of the reason they're having these discussions with each other on tiktok in the first place—because they're not allowed to participate in real life or with adults. Adult moderators of some kind on tiktok aren't a bad idea, but if they go around telling teenagers "nope this topic is off-limits" they'll just go somewhere without adult moderators and talk about it anyway, and we're back to where we started.

discourse damaged zoomers will be like “stop fetishizing [xyz]” and xyz will be a literal sex act