#I don't even own an XBOX and this made me mad

[awesomechocolatesauce]

"XBOX fans should cope. This game is best played on PC. I don't know how anyone can settle playing BG3 on a console and miss the opportunity for mods and whatnot!"

Oh, I don't know. It could be because some of us don't have the space in our homes or the money for a decent gaming PC. It could be some of us grew up on consoles and are perfectly happy staying with it. It could be some of us don't give a single fuck about mods and play the game as it is.

It's 2023. When is this "PC IS MASTER RACE" garbage going to die out? Let people play games on whatever they please and move on.

[noirvette]

main 3! gaming headcanons!!

i missed kennys birthday because of my college classes wtf happy belated bday to kenny

a little off topic for the post but ive been playing around with the idea of making a band smau (after hours by 777bambi is so good every update got me at the edge of my seat) and ive primarily been focusing on that as of late so my next few posts might just be headcanons

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny and gaming with their s/o!! cw: implied nsfw on kenny's part

♡ STAN MARSH

Thinks it's great to game together, an easy way for you guys to bond and have fun!!

He kind of likes the more nostalgic games, like super mario bros for the wii (this made me look up the game to confirm it's age and it was made in 2009 wtf??)

Let's you be player 1 but the catch is that he gets to be luigi

Stan prefers playing games on the wii (and switch) and or the ps4/ps5. He's a console kind of guy.

Prefers playing video games at your house and he'll even bring the necessary consoles over if needed just because if his dad sees you two playing he's going to whine to Stan about joining in.

Aside from nostalgic games he's also an action game multiplayer fan, lot of games he has is stylized to be fit for multiple people, so think of games like "It Takes Two" or even the multiplayer parts of Pokemon SWSH / Pokemon SV.

If you're a more single player kind of person, he definitely doesn't mind watching you play while cuddling. Would probably fall asleep watching you play.

I could see him playing Stardew Valley co-op with you if you convince him, but doesn't enjoy the whole farming thing too much

He marries Abigail in retaliation for making him play it with you. (Marry Shane and he will IMMEDIATELY divorce Abigail and beg you to marry him)

He still definitely plays multiplayer pc games with his friends, but sees no real joy in playing it by himself (think like valorant or league)

HOWEVER, if you want to play those games with him? Total tryhard but the really bad kind of tryhard.

Considering he only plays these games with Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman and doesn't play it on his own time he kinda sucks lol.

Screams "YOU'RE BAD" into his mic when he actually downs someone. Screams "WHAT THE FUCK" if he gets downed that Sharon comes in running like "Stan are you okay?!"

He gets so frustrated when he dies that he starts literally pouting. Let him get the final kill if it's just you two against one.

Insta-locks on Sage just to heal you only in game

"Sage heal? Sage heal?" -your poor other teammates

You carry him in these games tbh.

♡ KYLE BROFLOVSKI

Unlike Stan, Kyle loves games like valorant, league, etc. He gets to let out his rage easily by winning

When he loses everyone in South Park knows, he's so mad. However he rarely loses so South Park is safe.

Out of his friends he's for sure got the most amount of kills and wins.

Screams "LETS GOOOOO" when he wins LMFAO. Then gives you a victory kiss.

FPS games is Kyle's specialty. He's def an omen main or something.

If FPS isn't your thing or if you're not good at it Kyle gets it. If you're willing he'll show you how to play (and how to get good fast) however just don't play with him, if you're lagging behind (even if you're new) he's so annoyed, but never mad.

Is willing to play other games with you 100%. Also thinks it's great to game together, even if your guys' gaming genres don't match he's willing to play what you like.

Mario Kart is your guys' go to. You always win against him which leaves Kyle in shock so he often demands rematches.

Ike joins with you guys sometimes and you both initially let Ike win. Ike gets mad though because he wants you both to play equally with him, so when you play fairly he still wins because Ike is just that guy.

Kyle is more of a pc gamer than anything, but if console is up to bat he's an xbox guy. Still is a fps guy on console but it's all single player.

HATES fortnite lol. Doesn't get the hype over it at all, he thinks the mechanics are stupid and won't play it. Might if you beg him to but.. you so owe him.

Is more of the guy that prefers you to watch as he plays, however has no issue if you want to take over playing and he watches, he makes you guys snacks to have while you play.

Avid minecrafter tbh, played it mainly for Ike but then got addicted. So now he makes you play it with him too. He's definitely the "miner". Goes all out on making sure you both have the best armor and weapons. Has a shit ton of diamonds so he made you a diamond shovel for the hell of it even though it's a dumb thing to waste diamonds on. Made you a pink wool heart behind your house when you were gone.

Also an avid tile matcher (think candy crush), begs you constantly for lives. Please give him lives he gives the MEANEST puppy dog eyes.

♡ KENNY MCCORMICK

AVID HORROR GAME ENJOYER LOL

Literally any type of horror game is his go to game. Also likes those RPG horror games (think like ib, the witch's house, misao)

Sets you up by saving right before a jumpscare and then has you come over to play it with him and then you get to experience the jumpscare.

Late night horror game playing with Kenny <3 where you two just play roblox horror games all night, sometimes he puts in the comedic horror ones just so you guys can laugh at how bad it is.

He borrowed Outlast from Cartman to play on your console and you still have nightmares.

"Don't worry baby, nothing can get you when I'm here!" "What if you're NOT here though :(" and then cue him as Mysterion for the next 3 weeks to protect you.

Demands to be princess peach or rosalina in any mario game you guys play. If only one of them is an option and you take that character he will refuse to talk to you until you give up the character

Is also another minecraft enjoyer but likes scaring you with Herobrine LOL and that one scary jukebox disc.

"(Y/N)...." "What Ken?" "Herobrine is outside our door rn" (Y/N) left the game

He also likes watching you play games. Lays down with his head in your lap watching you play.

Kenny prefers multiplayer games that aren't limited to just two players only multiplayer. Only because Karen can play the game with you two then.

If you do happen to playing a two player only multiplayer game and Karen wants to join he lets her take over for him.

Kenny also loves puzzle like games (think like escape room games or keep talking and no one explodes).

Really he just loves seeing your face get all frustrated when playing these kinds of games. He rarely gets frustrated with things like these because he manages to somehow always figure it out, but doesn't say anything just to watch you get annoyed.

If you start getting really frustrated at the game and he notices, he does one of three things; he takes the controller or your phone away and turns on a new game, he actually solves it to spare your sanity, or he saves the game and helps take your mind off of the game and onto something else.

[goombasa]

Banjo-Tooie and The Problem with "Bigger = Better"

I love Banjo-Kazooie.

At least, I love the first one. I wouldn't just call it one of my favorite Nintendo 64 games of all time, I would call it one of my favorite games of all time, full stop. To me, Banjo-Kazooie took the layout of the 3D collect-a-thon platformer that Super Mario 64 pioneered, and perfected it. It is not a perfect game (there is no such thing) but any negatives that I see in the game are so minor when compared to the litany of positives that they barely register to me, and it is one of those games that I know front to back and up to down.

And when Banjo-Tooie was announced, I couldn't wait to get my hands on it.

And then I played it. And I really, really liked it.

But I didn't love it.

Don't get me wrong, I did think that Banjo-Tooie was a good game, and to this day, I maintain that opinion. It's a good collect-a-thon, but even when it was brand new, something felt off about it compared to the original. It wasn't the tone, though the game's somewhat darker storyline and character interpretation compared to the whimsical, fairy-tale like excuse plot of the first game was a bit of a change-up. No, it was more in the gameplay. And a few years afterwards, I realized what it was, at least for me.

The game was just too damn big.

Look, Banjo Tooie was released pretty late into the N64's life span and it really pushed the system to its limits. I'm not going to pretend that it is not super impressive what they managed to shove onto a tiny, tiny cartridge. But you can tell they were running up against issues just by the fact that the game does not run great on original hardware, even when there's not a huge amount of stuff happening. But it still runs well enough to be played, and of course if you're playing the Xbox remaster, it runs perfectly fine, and that's how I'd recommend it be played. But when you get down to it, in terms of its design, the game is just way too big for its own good.

Banjo-Kazooie, even when its words were on the larger side, were not terribly big by comparison. They were very carefully broken down into manageable chunks that made navigating them really easy. You always knew where you were in relation to everything else in the world. Even more wide open worlds like, say Mad Monster Mansion, each area of the mansion and the grounds stands on its own so well that navigating around and getting from place to place is really easy to do.

Banjo-Kazooie doesn't really have that. Don't get me wrong, its maps are peppered with recognizable landmarks and most of them are also broken up into chunks. I think Witchy World gets the closest out of all of its worlds to the design of the first game, as its basically designed as a compass with a distinct area of the theme park at each of the cardinal directions, and the big top in the center. Of course, each of these cardinal areas have several sub areas inside of them, but the point is, its design is very easy to follow and navigate. But it's one of the few worlds that are designed like this. Most of the worlds in Tooie are made up of massive areas that don't really flow into one another. There's not as distinct a break between one area as there is another. There are landmarks everywhere, and yet they don't help you navigate nearly as well as you would think.

This is made worse by the fact that, especially in later worlds, navigating is just… just such a chore. There's a reason they had to add warp pads in the second game so that you can more easily navigate from one part of the world to the other, but that doesn't help at all when the game deliberately limits your movement options, which feels pretty horrible, especially your first time through. The absolute nadir of this particular problem is definitely Grunty Industries, which makes getting around its multi-floor factory an absolute nightmare, and considering how many of the puzzles require you to jump from floor to floor, sometimes in multiple forms (with each form needing to utilize a different means of getting around the different floors, and having to UNLOCK those means beforehand), you spend a LOT of time wandering around not doing anything because you can't figure out where anything is.

Even the hub world is more tedious to traverse. The first game had the cramped tunnels and chambers of Gruntilda's lair as its main hub, and it was mostly a linear ride from one area to the next, with some offshoots for extra stuff or to solve puzzles to go deeper into the lair or find secrets here and there, but it was purposefully built to lead the player around in a quick and easy manner. In Tooie, since you're wandering around an entire island, every new section of the island is like a miniature level to explore, chock full of things to look over and figure out, and it can get overwhelming. And again, warp points were introduced to make traveling the thing more palatable.

It's not just the level design that feels too big or bloated. The game kind of assumes you've already played the previous game, and as such, it feels like it's designed to pick up right after that. You already have your full moveset from the last game. Now, the last game stopped teaching you new moves a little ways past the halfway point. But the sequel has you learn at least one new move in every single level, or at least upgrading some sort of aspect about your characters, such as giving you a ton of new egg types to use like fire, ice, and grenades.

But most of the new moves that you get kind of feel… unnecessary? There are some good ones in there. The ability to split Banjo and Kazooie up and use them both independently of one another, but most of the new moves are either highly situational, like Kazooie's hatch ability or the beak bayonette attack, straight upgrades to pre-existing abilities, like the drill pound or the first-person egg aiming, and then first person aiming in the air or underwater, all of which are considered separate moves by the by, or so incredibly situational that it feels like they were added in at the last minute and they couldn't figure out a lot of interesting ways to use them, like most of Banjo's backpack abilities.

Not saying that some of the moves in the original weren't situational as well, but it felt like they were used a lot more often than some of the moves in Tooie, and since you stop getting new moves after like world six or so, you have time to get a bit more use out of each move you've learned, rather than only using a move for one or two specific uses during the last couple of worlds… or in the case of the beak bayonette, using it for one challenge. In the second world. Right next to the room you learn it in, and then never again.

I don't want to sound like this ruined the game for me though. The wide, large, sprawling maps do lend themselves to a lot of interesting puzzles, many of them spanning multiple worlds, and all those worlds are often, in some way, interconnected with one another. I like these ideas on paper, but in practice it leads to a lot more busy-work, a lot more backtracking, and a lot of dead air between all the different challenges. There was a single instance in Banjo Kazooie where backtracking for a challenge was mandatory, but in Tooie, every world except for the final one requires you to backtrack to complete at least one challenge. On the plus side, since the backtracking is designed into the framework of the game, it doesn't feel as out of place as it did in the first game.

This does lead into a very interesting feeling. When you do finally complete one of these very long-running challenges, there's no doubt that it does feel good, like you've triumphed over a major obstacle, but at times in between, it really feels like you're spinning your wheels. I really just feel like this game might have been a bit better if they had just taken what already existed and just refined it, and then walked back some of the ‘more’ that they were putting into the game. There are plenty of ways they could have substituted the duo's existing moveset for things that you learn in the second game, and the fact that it insists on you learning the duo's basic attack moves when they're separated as their own individual moves (even forcing you to not be able to learn them unless you're playing as only the necessary character when you find the molehill) does bother me. It really feels like padding meant to make it feel like you're finding new moves with every place.

Again, I find the game fun to play, but it's a game that feels so, so draining to play for long periods of time, because it takes so long to feel like you're accomplishing anything. I just can't marathon this game like I can with the first. The positive feedback and the progress in the original Banjo Kazooie feels constant, it's invigorating. With Tooie, that feeling takes longer, the time between triumphs is much, much slower, and I've had whole sessions with the game where I didn't do much of anything because I was just wandering around, trying to figure things out, and yet I never managed to get to the point where I'm moving towards the goals that I've set for myself.

This is a bit of a running theme with other collect-a-thons, even with Rare. The amount of collectibles or the distance between them is just superfluously large. The gameplay is solid, it's sound, but the game just had to get bigger. And if all of these massive, open worlds in games these days are any indication, bigger isn't always better, especially when it hinders an otherwise very well designed game.

[onceandfutureoshainspector]

- oh, for fuck's sake, what in the goddamn are you doing here?

---- i gotta say, i'm very surprised at this. i think this is the first time i've seen Maxson outside of his Brooding Room, let alone this far from the Mothership. the fact that he's not surrounded by guards implies to me that he flew himself here, too. no backup, no witnesses, presumably nobody told where he was going - what the fuck is up with this??????

Maxson: How dare you betray the Brotherhood! Danse: It's not her fault. It's mine.

- ah, dagnabit. my process at the moment is that i play through a little chunk, making notes and taking screenshots, and then i type out the dialogue from the screenshots in the appropriate spaces in my notes (and format in html as i go because the sad fact is that that's less aggravating than trying to format with tumblr's rich text editor >_<). except now my xbox is being a shit, and i've apparently missed a few lines of dialogue, after i've overwritten the file saved before this conversation. i'm so mad.

- physically placing myself between my grandson and this lunatic.

Maxson: [missed line? screenshot unclear] Cat: He's not a "thing". He's one of your best men. Maxson: Have you taken leave of your senses? Danse isn't a man, it's a machine... an automaton created by the Institute! It wasn't born from the womb of a loving mother, it was grown within the cold confines of a laboratory! Flesh is flesh! Machine is machine! The two were never meant to intertwine! By attempting to play God, the Institute has taken the sanctity of human life and corrupted it beyond measure!

Danse: After all I've done for the Brotherhood... all the blood I've spilled in our name, how can you say that about me? Maxson: You're the physical embodiment of what we hate most! Technology that's gone too far! Look around you, Danse! Look at the scorched earth and the bones that litter the wasteland! Millions... perhaps even billions, died because science outpaced man's restraint! They called it a "new frontier" and "pushing the envelope", completely disregarding the repercussions! Can't you see that the same thing is happening again?! You're a single bomb in an arsenal of thousands preparing to lay waste to what's left of mankind!

- Maxson really, fundamentally doesn't get what the Institute's whole deal is, does he? like, their thing is sinister and horrific, but he's talking about them like they're the Brotherhood. this entire crusade was never about any of the actual harm the Institute were doing, it was because he heard someone else had power and technology and assumed that they'd use it like he would if he had the chance.

Cat: That's insane. He dedicated his life to protecting mankind. Maxson: Is that what it told you? How can you trust the word of a machine that thinks it's alive? Those ethics that it's striving to champion aren't even its own. They were artificially inserted in an attempt to have it blend in to society.

- WELCOME TO BEING AUTISTIC MOTHERFUCKER YOU JUST DESCRIBED *LEARNED SOCIAL BEHAVIOURS*!!!!!!!!!!!!

Danse: It's true. I was built within the confines of a laboratory, and some of my memories aren't my own. But when I saw my brothers dying at my feet, I felt sorrow. When I defeated an enemy of the Brotherhood, I felt pride. And when I heard your speech about saving the Commonwealth... I felt hope. Don't you understand? I thought I was human, Arthur! From the moment I was taken in by the Brotherhood, I've done absolutely nothing to betray your trust, and I never will. Maxson: It's too late for that now. I don't intend to debate this any longer. My orders stand. Danse: You've convinced me that I was wrong to be ashamed of my true identity, and I thank you for it. Whatever you decide, know that I'm going to my grave with no anger and no regrets.

- dude, come on! we just talked about this!

Maxson: Touching.

- YOU shut the fuck up!

Cat: After all the sacrifices I've made and all the battles I've fought for the Brotherhood, you need to listen to me. You owe me that much. Maxson: Very well, I'm listening.

- :3

Cat: If Danse dies, then you lose me as well. I can't stay in good conscience if his life means that little to you.

- this is very similar to the position i was in with High Confessor Tetris. i have too much clout for even Lord Eyeshadow to sweep me under the rug now, and i think he's just now realising it. literally anyone else, even renowned heroes like THE Paladin Danse, he can do away with if he's quick and quiet and doesn't let them get a word in edgeways, but me? i go loud, and i go messy, and i take the bastard with me.

---- check.

Maxson: Unbelievable. You'd be willing to sacrifice your career... for the sake of a machine. So. It appears we've arrived at an impasse. Allowing Danse to live undermines everything the Brotherhood stands for, yet you insist that he remains alive. Which leaves me with only a single alternative. Danse. As far as I'm concerned, you're dead. From this day forward, you are forbidden to set foot on the Prydwen, or speak to anyone from the Brotherhood of Steel. Should you choose to ignore me, know that you'll be fired upon immediately. Do we understand each other? Danse: I do. [missed line i think] Maxson: Don't mistake my mercy for acceptance. I'm returning to the Prydwen, Knight. Take some time, say your goodbyes, and then I expect to see you there. We still have the Institute to deal with.

- good move, buster.

[nickymortis]

Alone in the Dark Returns: Investigating Uncle Jeremy's Disappearance

A big update of the OG, Alone in the Dark takes us back to the Derceto crib in 1920s Louisiana, flipping Edward Carnby into David Harbor and Emily Hartwood into Jodie Comer, ensuring there's still enough in the budget to buy Xbox games. They're both doing their thing like actors-turned-gamers, investigating Emily's uncle Jeremy's disappearance. But soon, monsters pop up, and then it's game on. Just like before, you can pick Edward or Emily. The story goes the same either way, with the one you don't choose playing clueless while you do the heavy lifting. The story itself is… odd. Not so much the plot, which is your typical showdown with a spooky cult, but how it's all laid out. The way the characters vibe is weird - sometimes they're all beef from the jump, and other times they're chatting like they've known each other forever. It might be lost in translation, but the voice acting matches the trippy vibe, whether it's on purpose or not. If it is, it's more puzzling than chilling. The other issue is nothing much goes down. Yeah, there's spooky stuff and some plot beats, but it all feels like a stroll until the final act spills all the beans. By the end, it's hard to feel like anything major went down.

Deciphering Mysteries in Alone in the Dark

Alone in the Dark is like your standard action adventure mixed with horror vibes, but it’s got this old-school survival horror vibe that’s kinda cute and makes you think about picking up some new PS5 games. It plays simple and feels a bit dated, yet it grabs your attention with its scrappy attitude. Most of the time, you’re running around the Derceto mansion, grabbing keys, collecting clues, and solving puzzles. Sometimes you’re in spooky places fighting monsters with weapons that break (ugh). Nothing here is mind-blowing, but it’s all solid, and the creepy atmosphere and visuals keep things interesting. The puzzles are where it’s at. Some are real head-scratchers. They’re not crazy hard (I figured them out!), but they make you dig through notes and documents, or piece together clues that are just vague enough to make you think. It’s been a minute since a horror game made me actually stop and strategize. Refreshing change from just finding fancy keys… although there’s plenty of that too.

Surviving the Menace of Alone in the Dark

Alone in the Dark really leans into its dramatic backstory, especially with all the deep lore it throws at you. Just like the original 90s trilogy, this reboot is packed with super long text docs that characters read out loud, complete with their own sassy comments. There are diaries, news blurbs, book snippets – you name it. If you’re down to read it all, that’s commitment. But they keep the essential stuff in a separate menu, so at least you know what’s crucial. The monsters? Meh, they’re kinda basic – think gooey not zombies and such. What they lack in originality, they make up for in sheer brutality. These suckers smash through doors, charge at you like mad, and some even spew giant maggots with serious rage issues. They’re not just aggressive; they’re tough as nails. Their speed compared to how fast Edward and Emily shoot can freak you out, but sometimes they’re more annoying than scary.

Returning to Survival Horror Roots with Alone in the Dark

This game ends up scarier than expected mainly because the enemies are so intense and relentless that dealing with more than one at a time is seriously tough. Plus, the sound design amps up the creep factor, making it feel like evil lurks around every corner. Alone in the Dark nails both the survival and horror vibes pretty well. I was pleasantly surprised, especially since the series hasn’t had the best track record lately, to find that the 2024 version of Alone in the Dark is actually a blast. It’s not the fanciest or most stunning game out there, but it’s got a cool charm. It stays true to the original trilogy with its survival horror style and tons of lore. The spooky vibes, tough enemies, and tricky puzzles all add up to a game that feels like a true return to form for Alone in the Dark after all these years.

[bearpillowmonster]

Prince of Persia (2008)

This is actually the first PoP game that I bought because, well-

Just look at it. It appealed to me most, he's got what looks like a cybernetic hand, a blue and red head scarf keeping some sort of mystery about him, nice balance between grit and cartoon. And really even the gameplay, a big wide open world, and the girl stays right along side you. It was the makings of something great, but then...I played it.

I don't even know if it was two hours. I just felt like I had enough, like I had seen everything it had to offer already and here's why:

STORY

Background information first. The game has a decent story with the Prince looking for this donkey that has a bunch of treasure alluding for an adventure that happened off screen when he comes across Elika who is being chased and one thing leads to another and she releases darkness out of a tree. Ok, maybe that doesn't sound too great but it's more character based. The struggle between her and her father is interesting as you see the darkness overtake him, which gives you all the reason to bring an end to this madness. You see flashbacks of her because she doesn't really want to talk about what's going on or give you context so it's fed to you little by little, she's not even interested in the Prince, she just sees him as beneficial to her journey and over time the two grow fond of each other, which is how it should be.

The cartoony nature lets for a variety of unique animations, like her climbing on your back when you're climbing up vines, doing a little twirl when you switch positions, catch each other when they fall and just overall a ton of fun stuff that makes up for the fact that you can't play as her. Unfortunately, the Prince really just makes jokes, he isn't given much, they made him too pun-oriented as even Nolan North was confused by it but whatever, it's a disconnect. So what's the issue here?

THE PREMISE

Well, you have to get your fair share of light orbs- wait an effing second-

Yeah, that but it's the whole game. Like there aren't even enemies to keep you busy really. It splits the map up into sections where you climb these huge towers and trek landscapes to get to what amounts to a fountain, you fight a boss at the fountain, unlock it, and poof, light appears so you backtrack through the level (which does have varying paths but you definitely backtrack) in order to collect the orbs. There're little dark blobs that block your way sometimes and platforms can indeed have an enemy every now and then but it's not rewarding for anything, you don't get light, you don't get currency, you don't get anything, they're just another obstacle, not anything special, just a random nuisance.

COMBAT

The combat is a lot different, it has a sort of fighting game element where it locks you in a battlefield, and you skirt around each other like Contest of Champions. It's not "bad" but it can be annoying because of the control scheme. I learned it over time but it basically creates its own buttons. Red glove. What does it refer to? What did you map that button to? Grey glove, uh, block? Sword is obvious. But it doesn't show you the buttons, just the symbols and it's not much more in depth than that. I played this on PC and honestly those colors resemble the Xbox control style, the PS3 version has the actual buttons (and I don't have an Xbox controller so I had to fight with my PS4 controller to figure it out) but I think it helped that I played with a controller this time around because I used a keyboard and mouse on that dropped playthrough.

You get the rapid press sometimes but it's not necessarily how fast you press it, it's how early you start. And like sumo wrestling, getting too close to the edge for either of you will lock you in a heated quick time event to launch the other over the edge.

Perhaps one of the divisive parts though is that you don't "die". It's like this, falling will just have Elika catch you and put you at the last platform. Fighting, you're given a chance to save yourself with a quick-time event and even if you fail, the enemy just heals themself a little.

Then you have the "hub" of sorts which leads to the temple but traveling this empty wasteland takes a while because of your walk speed. I don't mind it in the confinement of these areas with the structures but when there's nothing there and you're just trekking...speed it up. Luckily if you unlock the fountain then you can fast travel.

They even have cool traversal methods that you learn by taking so many light orbs back to the temple (in the hub) but they're not free abilities, they're limited to where the spaces are.

The "power plates" eww, that's their official name? You couldn't say like "Ephereal Tiles" or some sort of lore based jargon like spirit energy emits from them, juicing you up with power for a short burst? Spirit Burst?

And you have what amounts to this huge wide open and lush background painstakingly created with breathtakingly beautiful places that you can't wait to explore but you barely even notice them. Like you probably see this picture and think what fun is in store for that place and what set-piece it might hold but the camera pits you against these wood and stone structures and that's about it, the rest goes relatively unnoticed, you don't go and walk around these places at all like you'd expect.

WHAT BROUGHT ME BACK

This.

A three hour video but a well made one at that. He mentioned that it's enjoyable playing as a side gig, just something to turn music on and play like it's Minecraft parkour and so I lodged that in the back of my brain and here I am, with a new approach and a new opinion on a game that I thought I'd never return to.

So I'm done complaining because I did indeed keep coming back to it and enjoying myself by viewing it from a movement standpoint. And yeah, it's not the best use of its appealing assets but I still found something in it.

[plainbageltoastedwithbutter]

oswald cobblepot (the penguin) hcs

DONT TELL ME IM WRONG IM RIGHT /lh

I'm leaning towards asexual penguin but I feel like aceflux would also work. if you don't know what aceflux is, it just means your sexual attraction fluctuates on the asexual spectrum

ik most iterations of penguin involve him actually liking birds, even being RAISED by penguins but i feel for gotham penguin, he probably wouldn't like to get birds. sure, he uses the name penguin but only because he found power and intimidation in using it but it's still connected to his trauma of being made fun of.

he's unlabeled cause 1. robin has stated that there's no confirmation that oswald is specifically gay. he's just not straight. 2. is because it makes sense for his character not to rlly give thought to his sexuality or to put a name on it, however i do think he only likes men just isn't labeled. if someone were to ask him his sexuality, he'd whip around and go "that's not of your concern!" and storm off or something pfft

he gets sick often, especially during his umbrella boy days. like imagine standing in the rain but you have to give your umbrella to fish mooney of all people because its what you get paid for. he'd get sick often cause of the cold murky weather of gotham. he's also unhygienic, at least in the start of gotham and constantly shouts so he'd probably get sick rlly often and has sore throat. cuts back to his mom always helping him with her tea and how he has a raspy voice!!

when ed switches over to riddler all oswald does is "ed ed ed ed come back baby im sorry"

him being domestic can range from childish innocent things like singing songs to each other and having picnics to tracking down people to kill <3

probably only got a dog cause he wanted loyalty and a dog is known for being loyal. hes seems more like a cat person to me

learns asl for martin, (and teaches him it if he doesn't already know how). oswald will literally ONLY shut up for martin, he won't speak when he's signing or when martin is (ed is kinda different but THIS ISNT ABOUT HIM *proceeds to write mostly riddlebird hcs*)

oswald buys martin antique toys and lame stuff, like jack in the boxes. ed buys him extremely hard puzzles and 'educational toys'. uncle zsasz buys him music-related things, headphones, radios, etc. barbara buys him more of what a kid would want, like an xbox. (ik this isnt just oswald but idc)

actually back on the cat person oswald, im going to state how cats are attracted to HIM. he probably tried to pet a cat when he was a kid and got scratched and sobbed to gertrude. he'll immediately become upset when a cat doesnt like him but he'll eventually learn how to gain a cat's trust and suddenly theres six following him around, he teaches them to bring dead animals to his enemies.

he treats his maids and house employees extremely well. like olga was the one to like oswald and not ed. why?? because he pays her good!

sadly probably mistakes olga as his mom, he catches himself right when "mother" slips out of his mouth, he feels embarrassed and ashamed, he doesn't get mad at olga but he excuses himself and runs to his room. olga doesnt get angry, she just feels bad :(

oswald walks into gcpd. everyone stops what they're doing and are like "oh no", he just skips over to lucius and props his umbrella on his desk and is like. "make this into a gun or else." with two of his henchmen behind him. hes not even scared that hes surrounded by police PFFT

in MY gotham, oswald is still very close with ivy and other people like mr freeze and firefly.

he realizes how bad he was to them, apologizes and promises to be a better friend. everyone is skeptical besides ivy cuz she's naive but turns out he's not lying. he gets upset when ivy messes up or whatever but quickly apologizes and calms himself down, he learns to value his friends and their quirks as they have for him

oswald is autistic and has bpd, along with apd, maybe ptsd?

he usually gets driven around by others but he owns his own car which is a hearse. yes, coffin car.

doesn't know about ed's hallucinations but finds his pills and was like ???

he dropped out of school probably when he was a teen and when he did have school, i'd like to think that he had straight A's.

not only did he get bullied a lot but oswald is smart. it's only a matter of time before he snaps, so i imagine he'd put his smarts to use and would start a business where he'd write people's essays and tutor them for tests (explains why he wasn't surprised when ed asked for oz to mentor him)

gertrude would have boyfriends when oswald was younger, but oswald being the clingy mama's boy he is, didn't like them. he'd put bugs in their pillows and coffee, and other fucked up shit to scare them off. eventually, they'd break up with gertrude and yell at her about how fucked up her kid is. gertrude would get rlly upset and explains how her little oswald could do no wrong. after a while, getrude would stop dating entirely, much to oswald's approval.

his favorite holiday is christmas and thanksgiving

does not speak of either mothers day or fathers day

will disappear off the face of the earth on those days

hates the cold strangely, it reminds him of when he almost drowned, multiple times. he always has multiple layers on so when you see without all that or a suit in general its very 'woah'

he hates when people touch him, especially those who he does not trust. like did you see when sofia touched him that one time, EW. or when he first met ed, "you're standing too close", could be that he could strike at any moment but he also just doesnt like strangers

speaking of his touch aversion, oswald wouldn't trust ed to touch him after he, yknow tried to kill him. in s5, when oswald jumped to save ed was probably when he got over it and as we know they later hug (non-homosexually 😊)

ed is like the only one who can mention his mom (ofc in a good way) without oswald bursting out in tears or attacking them. partially because of their shared history, when ed nursed oswald back to health he used his mother's memory to gain his trust more.

when people insult him, depending on who you are he'll either dissociate or attack you. he's probably learnt to do that from when he was bullied as a kid

speaks rlly fondly of fish after her death, ppl would be like "but didnt she try to kill you?" "idk what you're talking about"

doesnt kiss ed unless ed goes in for the kiss first, hes afraid of somehow being rejected again, and also cause he's aceflux he doesn't crave a kiss like some ppl do but he does forehead kiss martin all the time. hes the parent who will drive martin in his limousine and be like 'wheres my hug 🥺🥺' before he gets out of the car to go to school

ok me needs to sleep hope this was enough to satisfy the penguin stans

[slade-neko]

Saw this video game tag thing pop up on my dash a few days ago. Wanted to do it.

1. First game you played obsessively? Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I believe I was 5yo. Still waiting on that FF7 Remake treatment.

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc. Well if I play a game and like it, then I'll create sims of it. Does that count?

3. Who did you play with as a kid? My brother from the day I was born.

4. Who do you play with now? My brother FROM THE DAY I WAS BORN.

5. Ever use cheat codes? I wasn't lying when I made this post. {link}

6. Ever buy strategy guides? Yes! Mainly to look at the artwork though. (Don't need no guide!)

7. Any games you have multiple copies of? Lots of games, most being Left 4 Dead with 6 copies (3 Xbox 360, 1 PC case, 2 PC digitally.) What can I say, its a GOOD GAME!

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection? Gold cartridge Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time (maybe that's rare?)

9. Most regrettable purchase? I don't regret my purchases, but I have received games I have never played like Cubix (PS2) no clue where that game came from, but I have it somehow. Madagascar (Xbox 360) came with my Xbox 360, never opened it from its case. And Monsters Inc. Scream Arena (Gamecube) or something... it was a gift.

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games? I'm only friends with people BECAUSE of video games, so yes.

12. Ever get picked on for liking games? No, that'd be ridiculous.

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has? Probably a lot, I'd say Call of Duty, but I technically played CoD 1, 2, and 4. The campaign mode was alright, but I don't really care for CoD games at ALL.

14. Favorite game music? Koji Kondo and Grant Kirkhope are two BIG ones.

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick? Triforce is the most basic option, but I'd rather not get a tattoo.

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL? Super Smash Bros. Brawl with hacks, but that was over a decade ago.

17. Ever lose a friend over a game? No, that'd be ridiculous.

18. Would you date someone that hates gaming? No, that'd be RIDICULOUS.

19. Favorite handheld console? PSP. 3DS is great, but PSP Monster Hunter has ALL of my portable gaming memories. Like playing in school after End of Grade tests with my friend.

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand? Sims 4 I like to think I know everything about Left 4 Dead. Quite a bit about Monster Hunter, more so of a series though than a specific game.

21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now? I'd say Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic. I loved it as a kid, but had a lot of complex pen & paper RPG mechanics that I never understood. I understand a lot more of it now, but its still complex as all heck. I just know you hit things, they die.

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories? That's the only thing I wear.

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into? Not sure so I'll list a few. Sims 4, Smash Bros. Brawl, Monster Hunter (its a series though), or Left 4 Dead

24. First Pokemon game? Leaf Green

25. Were you ever an arcade game player? No, don't like paying to play.

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries? No.

27. Game that makes you rage? I don't get mad at games, but I had a custom modded Hard Eight mutation in Left 4 Dead that is absolute bullsh*t!

28. Ever play in a tournament? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.

29. What is your gaming set up? A giant wall of video game consoles spanning from NES to Switch, 4 TVs, but I sit at a desk with a PC.

30. How many consoles do you own? "I own every console that's ever existed." - I Don't Play Games When I Play Games (My STRENTH) original song by Smooth McGroove BUT no seriously I own 32 consoles including handhelds.

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches? Yes. 3DS gave me headaches though I only really played with the 3D feature in Ocarina of Time 3D. I think my eyes broke because I couldn't get my 3D to work very well after.

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic? Sure I play games based on a lot of things. Literally any anime game. If I had to pick Dragon Ball Xenoverse is kinda like a dream Dragon Ball game. Oh, Attack on Titan 2 is pretty neat too!

33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games? Some SEGA plug-n-play thing once. Played it like once and now its lost to time (or my closet.)

34. Do either of your parents play video games? Yes. Mom and Dad played NES Super Mario Bros. My Dad went HARD at that game until he saved the Princess. Then he quit forever.

35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop? "Hi. Welcome to Gamestop!"I never want to hear that again, but it was my main store until I went full digital/ online orders.

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game? No, I don't tend to get upset or emotional, but Bill dying in Left 4 Dead made me pretty pissed.

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination? Never played it. I don't really play "bad" games, but maybe Sims 4.

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like? The Sims 4

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make? Dragon's Dogma 2 WHICH I think is actually in development, so I'd have to say Fallout New Vegas 2. C'mon Bethesda you cowards, hand the keys back over to Obsidian so they can make another good Fallout game!

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls? Two part question, two answers. VR Headset to immerse in world, yes. Motion Controls, no.

41. A genre that you just can’t get into? MOBAs and MMOs. I don't like paying to keep playing.

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness? Nintendo 64 opened me up to what video games could be as a kid. Sad to say my parents' NES didn't really do that for me. And years later Fallout 3 was a big game changer for me too.

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else? Every day of my LIFE.

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters? None. I'd rather emulate.

45. How are you at Mario Kart? Pretty dang good. 3-STARS MARIO KART WII, BABY!

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon? Yes, both of those. I preferred when Animal Crossing had more character to it. New Horizons looks so pretty, but feels so bland compared to classic AC.

47. Do you like competitive games? No. Not really. Usually amongst friends or if I can get competitive against AI Bots. I love my machine bot friends cause they don't cry like 10 year olds when they lose.

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character? Too long. I've seriously restarted games because I wasn't happy with my character's appearance.

49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character? Yes, I am always the magic man, my brother is always brute warrior, and my friend is the ranger.

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create? I don't really know. Honestly, I'd rather mod already good games to make them better than create something completely new.

51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep? No, that'd be ridiculous. But I've had a friend fall asleep playing games at my house 3 different times and currently dozes off during our Minecraft sessions. So, maybe that's not a completely ridiculous thing after all.

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid? Kirby 64 apparently. My brother tells me we had to count out pennies to buy it. I must've been too young with no recollection, but I believe it.

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days? It's good if its not in the game's files from the beginning and is actually developed AFTER launch... and pre-order bonuses should be standard DLC a month or two later. Some games have content lost to time because of that pre-order bullsh*t.

54. Do you give in to Steam sales? Of course. If you want a game and its on sale then why not? I typically wait just for Steam sales to get games.

55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them? No? I typically make people and characters I like in Sims. I've made villains like Dio, but he's an anime villain and I don't really HATE him despite the horrible things he's done.

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests? No. Never played that game.

57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements? I try to for all the games I really like.

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick? The Sims 4, Skyrim, & Fallout: New Vegas. Mods make them live forever. Left 4 Dead and Monster Hunter are good choices too.

59. Do you play any cell phone games? Those aren't games.

60. Do you know the Konami Code? No? But I'll take a guess. Is it make an IP and forget it exists?

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever? Keep forever... even the bad ones.

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game? PS4 Pro for Monster Hunter World. It was basically for early access since the PC version was being developed and releasing after PS4, but I don't like waiting.

63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? Sort of. Been to anime cons and walked into the gaming tournament rooms only to walk out less than 10 minutes later.

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming? No, but I'm going to be doing that soon, hopefully.

65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file? GameShark for N64, PS2, Gameboy, and Action Replay for Gamecube, DS, 3DS. And no not really, I would cheat responsibly... but there was this one time at school my friend and I borrowed another friend's Gameboy game, loaded it up with my Gameshark, tried playing, it crashed, loaded it back up, save file corrupted... we just stared at each other jaws dropped, "Here's your game back, dude. Make sure you don't play it til you get back home!"

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it? No, but I remember seeing them on billboards in the game DRIV3R on PS2.

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share? Every game I play is filled with happy memories (mostly.)

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool? These tiger plushes. My brother got white and I got orange. They were the coolest. Got a butt load of tickets from some jackpot spinning light game thing as I was good at the timing with repeated jackpot hits.

69. In your opinion, best game ever made? I've played quite a few masterpiece games, but to pick one, I'd say Fallout: New Vegas

70. Very first game you ever beat? Super Mario 64. I was a mere child on a Sunday morning and ate celebratory pancakes made by my Dad.

Wow, that was long... I get the feeling this was supposed to be a "send me ask with numbers" thing, but answering all at once is more fun.

[ma-gic-gay]

Knock Before Entering

If Chase had simply knocked before he went in that room, there would be nowhere near as much awkward tension right now between the three of them.

But alas, he hadn't knocked and they were all in an uncomfortable position.

Let's set the scene: Just an hour ago, Michael and Willow had made their marriage official. In Wiley's playroom they were supposed to be painting stars on the ceiling in so their son could have stars to see when he was an astronaut. He was going to be one when he grew up and so they had begun painting them when the annulment papers had came in.

Instead of annulling their marriage, however, they'd finally said everything they felt about each other to each other- and acted on it. Several times.

They'd decided to go again and were making out like fifteen year olds when Chase barged into the room.

The mood had never been killed quicker.

Glaring at Chase, Michael and Willow threw on their shirts and tried to look somewhat presentable as Chase was standing there awkwardly, looking at everything but the sight in front of him. Willow blushes a deep red color, more embarrassed than upset. For her especially, this is an awkward situation.

When everyone's fully dressed, she excuses herself to go find Wiley. As she leaves, Michael's glare returns, as well as his bulging neck veins. "You wanna explain what you're doing here right now?"

"Brook Lynn and I made a deal where if she and Ned talked, I'd talk to Willow," Chase explains, clearly digging himself deeper and deeper into the hole he's created.

"Why are you and Brook Lynn making deals? And what do you have to say to Willow?" Michael asks.

"We're friends. For God's sakes, she's living on my couch! So, since we both have things we don't want to do but should, we made this deal. She tries to work things out with her dad and I tell her how I feel."

Confused, Michael asks, "What do you feel for my cousin that involves Willow?"

"No, not Brook Lynn. She's great, and very interesting, but I don't feel that way about her. We're just friends, nothing more. The deal was I tell Willow what I feel for her. Willow, she told me you two were getting an annulment so I thought it was my final chance to tell her how I feel about her."

Taking a deep breath, Michael asks, "And what do you feel for my wife, Chase? Please, tell me. I'm dying to know. I'm dying to know how you feel about her."

Chase can sense the anger in his tone as he says, "I love her. I-I know what you two-"

"You cheated on her with Sasha. The two of you broke our hearts when you did that, and I don't think you can say you love her if you can have an affair. I get that your conscience might not have let you date Sasha afterwards, but you still managed to cheat on her while you were supposedly in love with her. It's been months Chase, months since the affair," Michael reminds him. "So don't tell me you love her when you broke her heart and didn't care about that. Don't you dare do that."

"I didn't have an affair with Sasha! We faked it for the custody case, so you two would get married and keep Wiley safe from Janelle and her manipulations," Chase exclaims loudly.

Suddenly, everything comes to a halting stop. How loud was he, could Willow hear? Could Brook Lynn hear? What had he just said? The affair was fake?

Willow walks back into the room, confused. "What did you just say?"

"Willow, I love you. Sasha and I never cheated on you and Michael, we made up the affair because you two needed to get married for Wiley's sake. Now that you're getting annulled, I thought this would be my last chance to tell you that I love you and I don't know if I'll ever stop loving you. I need you to know that I still love you." The look on Chase's face is one of anxiety, but it's obvious he's telling the truth.

"You two were making out on a couch! That's still cheating, you just didn't have sex. Do you want an award? Some applause? Chase, you broke my heart. You broke Michael's heart. I've moved on and I don't love you anymore. It's best you move on too," Willow explains to him.

Brook Lynn opens the door, seeing the three of them in an awkward conversation. "We heard yelling from Chase and it was decided I'd be the best to come up here and figure out what's happening."

Angry, hurt, and annoyed, Chase kisses the Quartermaine girl intensely. Is he using her? Only slightly. The kiss feels right though, and so they pull away moments later breathless. Neither were expecting that to be... That. For a first kiss, it was a solid 10/10.

Anger fuels through Michael as his cousin actually kisses him back. "What the fuck are you two doing? Chase, you love Willow but somehow you're making out with her? You can't make a decision for the life of yourself. When you chose to play god with all of our lives, you knew what you were doing. And now you don't want to deal with the consequences of your own actions."

"Michael! I'm an adult, I can take care of myself. Look, I'm fine, alright? That was the first time him and I did that," Brook Lynn reassures him and his breathing calms slightly.

There's a pause before Michael's anger at Chase continues to spew, uncontrollable. "I can't believe you! Saying you're in love with my wife one minute and the next you're making out with my cousin. Brook Lynn, I trust you can take care of yourself, and I trust you told the truth. But Chase, how can you do that? How can you break someone's heart and then say, months later, that you love her? Tell me, please. I'm begging to know. Maybe I can break someone's heart who doesn't deserve it like you did!'"

"Look, let's all take a deep breath before we do anything we're going to regret," Willow suggests, bringing Michael back to reality: they're still in the playroom, trying to solve a problem. With annulment papers conveniently somewhere around here if they so choose to get them and sign.

After that momentarily breather for everyone, Chase says, "I do love Willow, and I think you might love Sasha still, Michael. Things could go-"

As he says that, Michael can't hold back and, neck veins bulging, punches Chase. It's a good punch, one Jason taught him to throw years ago. There are perks to having your mother's best friend being a hitman and your father being in the mob, and one is punching lessons. Well, really more self defense lessons, but still. It's a perk to growing up in dysfunction.

Chase and him fist fight for several minutes to the protests of Willow and Brook Lynn, who both were trying to stop it. But alas, nothing can stop two angry men from fist fighting each other like 12 year olds over an XBOX.

They finally stop the fight, both having taken good punches and thrown good ones. Fury burns in Chase's eyes as shame fills Michael. He let his temper get the best of him and this happened. "Look man, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have thrown that punch and started that-"

The detective throws another punch, this time leaving a bloody lip. "Damn right you shouldn't have. But now, you're going to be arrested for assault."

"You do not want to arrest him. Arrest me," Brook Lynn suggests.

"As much as I'd like to, Brook Lynn, you don't have any grounds for arrest at the moment and he does," Chase reminds her.

"Chase, please don't do this. At the very least, let me take care of his bloody lip," Willow begs and Dante walks into the room.

Whistling, Dante says, "What the fuck happened in here? It smells like sex and Michael's got a bloody lip and Chase has what looks like a bruised forehead. Is this some weird sex thing I don't know about because if so I feel like it's illegal."

"Do not start that conversation or there will be more blood," Brook Lynn warns him. "But currently all I know is Chase told Willow how he feels and Michael punched him when he said that she still loved him and he still loved Sasha. But I'm guessing that the sex thing came from Michael and Willow, so I'm pretty sure that's actually encouraged in most religions. Also Chase made out with me."

"How much did I miss? But Detective, arresting him is a shoddy at best move. Trust me, I was with the police department for a while." Dante chuckles.

"Thank you for your input Dante, but I'm going to go and bring Michael to the station," Chase says before reciting the Miranda rights to him. "If you don't want him to be in jail tonight, I suggest you go to the police station."

"I feel like this is harassment and that that's how the commissioner will see this as well," Dante informs him.

But the protests of his family don't have any meaning as Chase handcuffs him and he's dragged out to the police car, absolutely silent while everyone sees him being arrested by his former best friend.

An hour later, Diane's there and clearly displeased with him. "Michael. I would expect this behavior from, say, Jason or Carly. They've actually both been in a situation like this at one point. Irony's a beautiful thing. That's not the point. You are supposed to be the good one! Not the one fist fighting people with no real reason except you're mad they're in love with your wife!"

"I know, I know. I overreacted to it and I'm sorry for that and I let my anger get the best of me which I shouldn't have and I feel like hell but it was so great finally punching him. But, in my defense, he also said false things that we'd already said we're false and made out with Brook Lynn after insisting they were just friends. And he gave me a bloody lip, so I'd say we're even," Michael struggles to defend himself. "Is it still bloody?"

"Yes, it's still bleeding. Carly, Sonny, and Jason have been made aware you're here, and I'm sure that you and Chase have very different sides to the story but, provided he drops the charges, you'll be let free. If he doesn't, someone will need to post bail money for you and this petty case will be taken to court."

Chase walks back into the interrogation room. "Michael, I think we can make an agreement. I'll drop the charges if you and Willow get annulled."

Diane steps in, chuckling. "This form of agreement seems harassing, as does the proposition in question. Detective, I understand you decided to arrest him on the grounds of assault but a jury or the commissioner will just see this as you harassing my client. Additionally, the annulment papers were received by them today."

"Diane, we're not getting annulled. We, uh, we decided we're staying together. Chase, he walked in when we were making out and then told us he'd lied about the affair and that he still loves Willow and so Brook Lynn came upstairs to figure out what was happening and he made out with her and I asked him how he could do that and he insinuated several things about my love life so I punched him, not hard, and he fought back so we had a minor fist fight and then I apologized for throwing the first punch because that wasn't smart or productive and he gave me a cat lip," Michael explains.

"Detective, I strongly advise you stop harassing Mr. Corinthos here because that's what it looks like to me. Willow can make her own decisions, that's her choice who she wants to be with. She is not to be sold as property."

Chase, exhaling, says, "You're right. I shouldn't have arrested him in the first place, and I'll drop the charges, but someone does still need to bail him out."

"What is bail set at?" Diane asks, smiling.

"$500. I'll alert his family, which is loudly congregated out there," Chase says, standing up from the table.

"Thank you," Michael smiles.

As Chase leaves, Diane's smirk widens. "What's this I hear about no annulment? Did your grounds for it become, how shall I say this, void?"

"Well, the Quartermaine's already know, why not you. Yes, we did decide not to get annulled. It isn't something either of us want, so sorry for wasting your time."

"It's your private life so I'm not going to dig into it, Michael, but for what it's worth, I wish you and Willow the best on your marriage. Trust me, she's probably the only woman who both of your families will agree is good for you and who can deal with the chaos that is your life."

"Thanks, I think," Michael chuckles as she leaves and he finds out his bail has been posted and gets uncuffed.

He walks out of the room, embarrassed but fine minus the bloody lip, and sees that there's a good fifteen people out there for him; Carly, who's pacing and talking to Jason very loudly, Jason, who's remind her they're at a police station, Willow, who's trying to just ignore the situation, Brook Lynn, who's harassing Chase about how he acted, Dante, who's smirking about everything that's happened, Wiley, who clearly isn't comfortable with this situation, Sonny, who's just scrolling through his phone, Diane, who's discussing something with a disinterested Sonny. Dysfunction at it's finest.

Willow looks up and sees he's there and runs up to hug her husband. "You're okay? Your lip's not bleeding, but are you sure you're okay and we don't need to go to the hospital right now to get you checked out?"

Chuckling, Michael says, "Willow. Look at me. I am fine. Trust me, I've been through worse than my busted lip and soreness. You have absolutely no reason to worry."

"You were arrested! For punching him over me! I feel like there was plenty of reason for me to worry and be upset," she smiles.

"Well, I promise you, I am fine and don't need to go to the hospital. Your overreaction is, though adorable, unnecessary right now. I'm fine, Wiley's fine, you're fine, and that's all that matters," Michael assures her.

Smiling, she quickly kisses him which is convenient seen by everyone there. "Promise on your life?"

"That's a bit extreme."

"Then you're going to the hospital," she declares as Carly and the adults are laughing. "What's so funny?"

"How casually you two just kissed. Yesterday, you were getting an annulment and today there's this. We clearly need to be caught up on what happened. Besides, your concern is just so much like a wife, you two really are married now," Carly laughs.

"I'm still making him get checked out at the hospital. Would any of you like to join me?" Willow asks, earning another chuckle from them.

"Sure, why not?" Dante chuckles as the rest of them minus Brook Lynn agree to join; she's doing a thing she does where she just stares blankly while you talk so you can't see her emotion with Chase.

"You are way too worried about me," Michael protests.

"You wouldn't swear on your life."

"You're lucky you're my wife."

"I am," she agrees as they walk out, him kissing her forehead. "And you're lucky I'm your wife."

"That I most certainly am."

wsdfgbhnjm words

[dredgenridge]

I am desperate to leave the living situation I am in. I need help. I have tried other place in the past and not a budge. It's a stretch for me to try here. It's a hit or miss deal.

I am 21 years old, working 40+ hours a week with $10 an hour, no vehicle* and I am living with my homophobic family. This has been my life for a while now in this broken down house, literally. I'm in hell.

I do love my job and the family I work but 10 and hour doesn't cut it to live on my own. I hate asking money from them because they have treated me so well in the past. I always feel guilty asking. (This family has gave me gifts amd money to help me get items I need like the special boots I had to order. I need to replace them since they are beat up but they were not cheap for me and work helped me.)

These are the KURU Boots they helped me get because I work outside all day and I am on my feet. I have had these for around six months but they are done. I need to buy a new pair of KURU shoes but I am holding off for at least a few more weeks. (I have plantar faciatis. Work has worked around that fact with me.)

Before you ask, I have tried to do another job, ended up quitting because it was too much to go from outside retail (from 8am-6pm depending on what day it was) to a restaurant (on weekend nights) and didn't get to go home til around midnight a few times? (and for them to ignore some of my notes on my resume about my mental health? I was not going to stay so I quit there and continued to work at my current job.) I have applied for other part time jobs and got one call back but couldn't make it and asked to be rescheduled and they say' "Yes. We can do that." Then that time comes and never get another call?

*In April, it will mark two years my own vehicle has sat in the yard. TWO. YEARS. I do, however, have someone coming Friday night (Mar 13) to look at my truck and then return Sunday afternoon to work on it. So I won't be vehicleless too much longer, hopefully. I've seen his work but I am afraid to be screwed over because I have issues with that. I am always scared since I have been screwed over before.

That truck is my golden ticket outta here.

I am the only LGBT+ person in the house. I know my family is homophobic because they wear it proudly on their sleeve. I have heard their vile bullshit. I hate living in south North America.

It is like they don't think I can hear them when I wear my headset but boy oh boy, all the shit I've been fucking stuck hearing? I have had no privacy in 5 years. FIVE. Look at this.

I am near my bed right now and that is my view to the living room and kitchen. I hear everything. I hear the fighting between my parents, my brother when he talks about me. When I make comment about it they go back and say, "That's the point." when it comes to them talking about me. They clearly are too thick to see how much that has mentally damaged me.

Right behind this wall, is a health hazard.

From the sock over to the dresser is damp on the carpet be cause for over a month we have had a water leak from our water heater tank.

When I opened the door in the room to the water heater tank is, in the room beyond that brick wall- this is what I saw.

A brick wall is literally keeping me from that right now. I am sure that is black mold. I have not felt the best since I opened that door and took those pictures.

My so called father knows about it and hasn't done shit.

You see this?

The bathroom with the working shower has looked like this since at least 2017. That plywood is starting to get bad because of us showering.

In the other bathroom a light could fall in any moment. Been like this for roughly a year or more. I don't know anymore.

We live down the road from a restaurant and when they spray for roaches, we know. We know because my brother works there and they are in our house for a few weeks. I got up late one night to go get some water, flip the switch and I managed to see three small roaches scuttling into dark areas of the kitchen.

Do not get me started on mice during the winter. I don't see them but I can sure as hell hear them.

Another thing. The house is old so the foundation is not stable. The living room floor is warped in different areas and we have a leak under the house with our sewage line I believe. But at least once a month, under the house has to be pumped out of water. We do not have a basement.

My dad clearly does not give a flying fuck about anyone but himself. I think my absent father is a scociopath. Let me clarify. Physically there but never interacted with his kids. HE DOES NOT AND WILL NEVER KNOW HOW TO INTERACT WITH HIS FUCKING FAMILY.

The audacity to think I wanted a rifle that I will never shoot as a high school graduation gift?? I told him I wanted an xbox for graduation around the time he was about to get the rifle and it baffled him. I have always had a high interest in video games and I had not owned my own gaming system like an xbox or playstation of my own up until 2017. It was always share the Wii or PS2. He doean't know me at all.

I've heard my parents fight for at least the last few months and I am so sick of it. My friends are fucking worried beyond belief. They are stuck fucking hearing it when I am in a voice party with them and it is so embarrassing.

Just get a fucking divorce already. I am really tired of playing mom's therapist. I get that she needs to vent and all but to your traumatized, mental disordered child? I already am suffering enough from lack of needed treatment. It has taken such a strain on me that my facade is completely crumbling away at work. I can't hide my pain much longer.

I have wanted to kill myself twice in the last year alone to escape this. I have wanted to make it quick and the least messy as possible with one of the many hand guns thay lay around in the house. I was so close to going through with it the second time I thought about it.

I had made my mind up. Write a letter and a will for what my friends get and what to throw away. I was about to start writing it once I decided that I was ready to die. I scared some people and they told me to go to a hotline to talk me out of it.

That was seven months ago.

I need to escape and this is my last shot on asking for help. (I have asled help for different things and I have been overlooked.) I know friends who want to help me are unable to. I am not mad at them. They are already doing what they can to help themselves first beofre me because I care aboit them and want to make sure they are in a good spot before anything else. They aren't in the best situations either.

I need financial help to help me move. I am only asking for a total of $5000. If you can only donate even just $1 dollar, I will be more than thankful for you help. I am also opening commissions at this time. Please bear with me on timing. I am working 40+ hours a week right now and will work on the commissions as soon as I get a breathing chance when I get home.

My Commission Prices

$10 for a sketch and that will go from a bust to full body. I only do traditional- so pencil and paper. No sketch lines, just a clean pencil drawing. No limit to characters on one drawing. You will be charged for more than one character if you are going to have them on individual papers.

+$1 if you want it inked.

Note- I will not draw backgrounds, do shading or draw any NSFW. I am not adept in those fields.

My Paypal-

Thanks for at the very least reading through. Please help this be spread around. I will follow up with weekly updates through reblogs.

[bosmerbitch]

Lemme tell you how I got into Skyrim. This shit is fucking bad, very very high up on the dumbass scale, so here we go.

Some backstory, so I have an excuse to why I’m so fucking bad at this

When I was growing up, I surrounded myself in Nintendo. My step brother was also a Nintendo nerd, so we didn’t stray all that much. The only time I ever heard Skyrim get referenced was by the douchebag Homophobic Dude Bros™ that were in art class just to try and get an easy grade, so let’s just say it left a sour taste in my mouth.

I moved to Nevada when I was 18 and all they had was a broken Xbox 360. My friend Chris thought I’d like Fable, and really, really did, because I literally finished it in just a few weeks. But when I tried to replay it (evil this time) I couldn’t even complete the first important task because I felt bad for being a horrible person. (the first Big choice you have is to execute some dude you’re supposed to be in love with or a group of protesters that are trying to feed their families).

So he goes, “look. Just try Skyrim.”

And I go, “no.” yaknow, like an idiot.

He wouldn’t believe me when I said I wanted nothing to do with it, because I did admit I had never, ever played it before. So he plays it in front of me for a good week or so. And as per his grand plan, I start to get curious.

And also fucking infuriated.

This dude snuck everywhere. He only used light armor. He never got close enough to an enemy to force him to draw a dagger. He wouldn’t use horses. His play style was his, no judgement—but yakno. it drove me up the fucking wall. If I had to sit through two more hours of this man slowly crab walking his ass up the seven thousand steps because he refused to walk like a normal person lest his sneak skill maybe possibility suffer by one point, I think i’d go full feral.

So I said fuck it, grabbed the controller, and started a new game.

I create a Bosmer character who looks like she could punch me and I’d apologise for my face being in the way of her fist, because i am gay. I then spend 3 thousand years on babyname websites, trying my darndest to find a name that fit her face.

Dumbass Mistake number one: I press A to input the first letter.

“wait. This isn’t a GameCube controller. Fuck.”

I actually press B.

As in. Save and exit.

Do you want to name your character Prisoner?

“what? No!”

I press A, thinking it’s B.

My name is now Prisoner.

Now I’m pissed, but I’ve spent way too much time in the character creation screen to warrant a re-do. I am stuck with a Woodelf named Prisoner.

This becomes part of her lore later on. She was raised in a prison and only ever referred to as “prisoner” when she was little, so she took it as her name but dropped the e for an o when she was learning to write because she was literally a baby who couldn't spell: Prisonor.

Dumbass Mistake #2: I’m so used to autocameras that follow the player and find decent enough angles without me having to jam the stick back and forth that I can not for the life of me fucking Look At Shit Correctly.

I almost died. Do you know how bad you have to be to nearly die in the opening tutorial? It was as if i’d decided to play with my fucking elbows instead of my hands, I was flailing about like a lunatic. All while Alduin moved around and threw rocks at people, too, and my camera work was so bad it looked as if Bethesda had actually made a good scene to convey the horror and terror of the situation. Fuck you Bethesda

Dumbass Mistake #3: heavy armor. This was, and will continue to be, my downfall. Kiss half my fucking carry weight capacity goodbye because this Bad Bitch Needs Those High Armor Stats.

Oh, what? You need to sneak into a cave and steal some shit? Well you now have too options, you absolute Unit. You heavy as fuck bone armor thicc thot.

It’s either: a) sneak as is and get detected the moment your big toe even twitches upwards or b) go streaking for a few in-game hours and stuff all that contraband.... Somewhere. Don’t really know where it goes, to be honest.

Naked but stealthy. Stealthy.... But naked.

Obviously I go streaking quite a lot at first.

As I got bigger and heavier armor and weapons, I started plowing through dungeons by sheer force alone. Mind you, Prisonor is small, angry, and has a huge axe, so it just works®

Mistake #4: no Stamina. We trudge slowly to shadowmere like a woman with infinite health and literally nothing else. I think I maybe slipped her one or two levels into Stamina, and absolutely nothing in Magicka. Actually,

Dumb of Ass Mistake number 5: no god damned Magicka. It became such a problem that i would tell Chris to remind me next time when I was leveling up, to possibly add to poor widdle Magicka pwease? And I never did, since we’d both forget, and hit “health” with a smug little smile in my face. Try and kill me, douches. I have 300 health and counting. Wait. Wait hold on I fucking forgot—

I gave her the first novice hood you find in the game, dusted off my hands as if i’d just solved all of humanity’s inherent problems, and walked. Away.

It’s now part of her backstory. She can’t grow her Magicka because her mother was a skooma addict when she was pregnant, and it fucked with a few things when she was in the womb. can you tell that her backstory is a little fucked up? Well hold on, don't have much faith in me yet, because i killed her adopted dad too lmao #hewasexecutedforpoliticalgainbecausehewasalargethreattothescoomatradeinhammerfell

Mistake #6: hello my name is Prisonor and I would like to tell you about the future of the Companions, do you have a spare minute?

Chris pointed at Whiterun as I sprinted, naked (for speed, because I am already trudging the path of Heavy Armor even at that point) down the hill from Riverwood and said, “you can become a werewolf over there.”

Oh? I can become a tormented, feral, roaring beast over there yonder? Well sign me the fuck up you funky little bitch.

So I completed the whole questline all the way through with no stops. I didn’t like the fact that nearly everyone was a Nord, but it had less context for me at the time so it rubbed me wrong less than I does now.

But hold on. You get something at the end of that quest, right? A huge axe with a lot of history I didn’t really delve that deep into at the time?

Yes. Yes I did build a heavy armor, no-archery, werewolf, Wuuthrad-wielding Bosmer named Prisonor my first playthrough.

She was the ultimate rebel without me even trying to be. To the point where her axe is more deadly to herself than to her own wife.

Dumb #7: I threw the Ring of Hircine in a lake thinking it was useless.

That’s it. I’m still mad about it.

In conclusion,

The hard drive in the 360 was shit, so the load times were awful. Sunk 80$ on a new hard drive and had to sit on the floor waiting for the saves to transfer for 3 hours.

Good game solid 7,000steps out of 5

[erindrifter]

Halo, everybody

Get it? Halo? It's like hello- nevermind, let's just get on with the post.

So, I have been on one hell of a Halo binge recently. I don't know if y'all know this, but I REALLY like Halo. I've been playing that game for YEARS. It's been one of my favorite game series since I started playing Xbox.

But, not all games are created equal, so here's my (admittedly biased) review of all the Halo games in chronological order. (Not Spartan Assault. I've never played it. I don't think I ever will) Reviews will be in three parts: explanation of the game, the good things, the bad things. Let's begin.

HALO WARS (2009)

Halo Wars is one of two games on this list that are unlike any of the other games. Instead of being a First Person Shooter, this game is a birds-eye-view strategy game. You have to build a base, train units, and battle other bases on the map. It's interesting, if you're into that sort of thing.

THE GOOD THINGS

The graphics during the cutscenes are amazing. Even today, they still look good, and the game came out in 2009. The story is interesting to follow, and the characters are actually pretty interesting. THE MUSIC IS WONDERFUL. I could listen to the menu music for the rest of my life.

THE BAD THINGS

Sometimes, the enemies are just too strategic for casual players to be able to get past. Some of the levels require a specific type of thinking to get past the obstacles, and the time limits are absolutely unforgiving. These are bad things for casual players, since they force all players to devote a lot of thought into your strategy.

HALO: REACH (2010)

Halo: Reach is one of my favorite Halo games. It follows a Spartan (of the player's design) through an event that has only been previously mentioned in Halo games (specifically, Halo:CE, Halo 2 and Halo 3: ODST) And that event is the covenant invasion of the human world Reach.

THE GOOD

The story is actually extremely interesting. I enjoyed the things happening to an immense degree. The characters you fight with are all quirky in their own unique way. You fight with Jorge, the heavy weapons expert; Kat, the technical expert; Carter, the leader; Emile, the smartass/badass shotgun dude; and Jun, the sniper. The music is pretty great, and is very fun to play the game with. Out of all the games, I believe that Reach has the most balanced difficulty level. Normal was challenging, but possible, and Legendary never made me so mad that I wanted to vow personal revenge on digital characters... Too often.

THE BAD

Anybody who has caught up on their Halo lore knows exactly how this game ends. Sometimes, the game kinda slows down, and there are levels I don't want to play unless I'm running through the game, or am in the right mood for. Some of the guns just kinda suck. And, if I'm being honest, the NPC Marines are all terrible.

HALO: COMBAT EVOLVED (2001)

This game is more nostalgic than good, to be honest. It follows Master Chief as he wanders a large ring world called "Halo". This ring is much more than it seems, and there are dangers beyond the obvious aliens that he has to face. (That might be what the actual synopsis says, whoops)

THE GOOD

This game is revolutionary. It helped to pioneer the idea of a First Person Shooter game. It has pretty good acting, an engaging story, and good graphics for the time. In 2011, it was rereleased with updated graphics, which look pretty good, considering the method they used.

THE BAD

The gun selection is tiny compared to what it is now. This is mainly for people who are more used to the gun selection there is in modern games. Every time you get hit by a vehicle, you die. Doesn't matter how fast the vehicle is moving, you die. Playing this game on Legendary is an exercise to see if you can beat the game before going insane from rage.

HALO 2 (2004)

This game holds a special place in many peoples hearts, my own included. It took the story from the first game, and made it explode into something so much more. It follows Master Chief as he accidentally goes from one disaster to another, and it introduces the Arbiter, a disgraced elite who starts questioning the covenant.

THE GOOD

The story is so good, y'all. It splits between Master Chief and the Arbiter at the suspenseful parts, but the other stories are interesting enough to keep you from wanting to skip ahead. The graphics are great, the soundtrack is amazing, and the gameplay is so fun. It got a rerelease in 2014 that updates the graphics and sound. It looks so good. So. Freaking. Good.

THE BAD

There are two levels that I honestly just skip all the time. At one point, I entirely forgot that they were in the game because I would just skip them so much. There are a few moments in the game where it gets pretty tough on Normal, and Legendary gets insane. This game is so insane on Legendary. The only reason I didn't shout my way through the game is out of respect for my neighbors.

HALO 3: ODST (2009)

This game has a strange title, since it takes place during Halo 2, but whatever. This entry follows a marine squad after they REALLY mess up an entry into a battle. It wasn't their fault, but hey, whatcha gonna do? If you're the rookie, you're going to wander a city at night and find clues about where the others are. If you're Buck, Dutch, Mickey, or Romeo, you wander the same city during the day and find the rest of the squad.

THE GOOD

This game is a refreshing entry to the lineup. Every other game features Spartans HEAVILY. They're either the main stars, or they're the best soldiers to use. This game doesn't feature a single Spartan. It also introduces lore to the game that just makes things more entertaining to think about.

THE BAD

The name is misdirecting. It's a very different playing style than the other games, since you no longer have armor and shields, so things are a bit harder here. The characters are cookie-cutter soldiers that you find in every piece of war media. Wisecracking guy, explosive guy, heavy weapons guy, sniper guy, and self-insert guy.

HALO 3 (2007)

Halo 3 is great. It follows Master Chief as he discovers the Ark, a large Halo world even more sinister than the other two. The Arbiter hangs around him, so Player 2 can finally be a character that doesn't look like Player 1.

THE GOOD

Halo 3 is the game that sold me on Master Chief being a super soldier. He runs faster than everyone, he jumps higher, hits harder. He's great. The graphics are pretty good, and the story is good. It really draws the Halo series to a close, but still leaves an opportunity for more.

THE BAD

Halo 3 is kinda long. It doesn't have a lot of levels, or even very big levels. For some reason, it just kinda feels super long. Probably because of the amount of time you spend just walking or driving. The flood is suddenly really easy to destroy, but some of the new types of flood are SO ANNOYING.

HALO WARS 2 (2017)

Halo Wars 2 is fun. I guess. I mean, it's not terrible. Basically, the folks from the first game find themselves on the Ark from Halo 3 and have to fight off some brute forces.

THE GOOD

Again, good graphics during cutscenes. Voice acting is good. Music is ok.

THE BAD

The game is kinda boring. There's not much to the game.

HALO 4 (2012)

Halo 4 is ok. It's not super good, it's not super bad. It's there. It exists. I kinda don't like it that much. Master Chief finds himself kidnapped onto a foreign world and messes EVERYTHING up for everyone.

THE GOOD

This game takes the existing lore and brings it forward. Mainly from the books. I like that. The motion capture is pretty well done, and the voice acting is pretty great. The graphics are also pretty great. It has a great moment in one of the cutscenes.

THE BAD

I don't like the new look for the game. Master Chief has new armor that the game wants you to think is his old armor, and I kinda hate it. It looks bad. It doesn't cover that much. The soundtrack is not super great. Everything is so smooth for no reason. They introduce a cliche Angry Superior Officer That Nobody Likes. I don't like that cliche. CORTANA LOOKS SO TERRIBLE. I HATE HOW SHE LOOKS. IN THE OTHER GAMES, SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE MIGHT BE WEARING A JUMPSUIT, OR MAYBE THAT SHE JUST DOESN'T HAVE A WELL DEFINED BODY, BUT IN HALO 4 SHE IS PRETTY MUCH JUST NAKED. I FELT AWKWARD WHENEVER I WAS PLAYING THE GAME AT MY PARENTS HOUSE AND CORTANA WAS ON THE SCREEN. I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN ALONE AND SHE'S ON SCREEN. HER BODY IS TOO WELL DEFINED, AND IT'S SO UNCOMFORTABLE

HALO 5 (2015)

I don't like Halo 5. I haven't even played it all the way through, honestly. Basically, Master Chief is an idiot, and so Agent Locke is sent to arrest him. It's stupid. Everyone is dumb.

THE GOOD

Nathan Fillion plays one of the characters in the game. That's fun.

THE BAD

They took away split screen and forced everyone who wanted to play with friends to do so online. The graphics didn't get much better since Halo 4. The soundtrack is meh. Master Chief is a complete idiot. They bring in his friends from the books with NO explanation about where they were for the past 4 GAMES Master Chief was in. Spartan Locke is just not engaging as a character. They tried to make him relevant in a TV show thing, but it didn't work. I almost didn't buy this game. The only reason I have it is because I am not the one who paid for it. Maybe I'll change my mind later, and have some good things to say about Halo 5, but right now, I kinda hate it.

THERE'S THE REVIEWS.

I hope you enjoyed them before I put you to sleep from how long this post is. Sorry there's no "Read More" option, I'm on mobile and I can't do that. Anyways. Have a good day/night!!!

[dr0nyx]

I'm grateful that this post exists. I don't know how my parents would have been as they died/left before I got to my teens, but living with my aunt and uncle as they are left a huge scar in my mind. The moment I got my first phone When I was 13, they were always asking who was I texting and what was I doing. Things got even worse when I got my first smart phone 4 years later. They never let me put a password on it and always demanded to go through it when they felt like. "We bought it so we have the right to" I was then treated like I was crazy when they found out I have social media, even calling me a devil-worshipper, which funnily enough when they poorly tried to impersonate me and text my friend to see what he said about me, their grammar and spelling was so bad he got confused and jokingly said "what language do you speak demon?" As gamers do sometimes. And then when I made my own email account and my aunt found out about it she was mad and forced me to give her all the information. So it wasn't my account any more but "ours" and then she flooded it with subscription things to travel sites that were sketchy, advertising, and Pinterest, so I had to drop that. All her fear and yelling over what this stuff was "gonna do to me" drove me into being more secretive and even now I can barely tell her what I'm doing without anxiety flaring up. And if she saw anything she didn't like she would take away everything, tv, phone, computer, Xbox. She finally stopped now that I went and purchased my own computer and Xbox, so she's at least true to the fact that I bought it. It just took till I was a fucking college freshman to see some reason and let me out a password on my phone.

If you cant tell this is mostly about my aunt, and I love both her and my uncle dearly. They are good people. But they took parenting way to extreme at times that resulted in me barely able to speak at times and much less to someone in authority. Things have gotten better but I still always feel as if I need to hide, need to be secret, need to lie and cover it all up. I know my case ain't as extreme but it was a different view. Over protective parents from legal guardians, which honestly I think helped to make it worse since I wasn't their child. I just wish I could say this to them.

So my dad took away my laptop because I wouldn’t give him the password. I wasn’t even allowed to type it in, he demanded to know the password to my personal computer because he thinks I’m “ doing things I’m not supposed to do. ” My sister is not, and never has been, held to the same standard when it came to passwords on her own phone etc. But my parents always suspect me of being “up to something” and will randomly ask to use my computer/ know the password, and when I say no, they get mad at me. In the past, they have taken away my devices and looked through them, which cased me a lot of anxiety and is part of the reason I don’t like it when people use my computer or go through the camera roll on my phone. Even as I type this, I’m being asked what I’m doing. If you think parents demanding to know the passwords to their child’s personal devices is a breach of privacy please reblog

[funny-relatable]

Fancy Dinner Parties

Me: *wide eyed* Oh my god, this mansion is gorgeous! It's like something out of a movie! Look at how pretty that staircase is! Is that an actual suit of armor over there? I think I'm going to faint!

Flesh Mass: *wringing out skirt* ...Yeah.

Maid: *descends staircase* Welcome back, ma'am. I see you've returned with a guest. *bows*

Flesh Mass: ...Yeah.

Me: Oh my god, is that a real maid? That's a real maid! This is so cool!

Maid: Does our guest wish to be shown to the bathing quarters.

Me: Oh! My! God! You're so old school! You don't have to ham it up like that! Like, oh my god, I can't believe this! You're so precious! But, yeah. I could totally go for a bath right now. Gosh, a real bath in stead of a shower. Sorry, sorry. It's been so long since I've been in a bath full of warm soapy water. We only have a shower back at my apartment. Am I rambling? Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed! Sorry!

Flesh Mass: Are you guys cool, I'm going to go play xbox until I pass out.

Maid: Master requested ma'am's presence in the dining room. We will be having dinner tonight to honour our guest.

Me: Oh my god, dinner for me!?

Flesh Mass: Seriously, dinner for her?

Maid: Master says her arrival is a special occasion.

Me: Oh my god, how romantic!

Flesh Mass: *under breath* It wasn't a fucking special occasion when he kidnapped me. *loudly* FINE! I'll see you guys in the dining room for this SPECIAL OCCASION. Fucking waste of my time.

Me: She's so nice. Are your baths as fancy as the staircase?

Maid: Indubitably so.

Me: I don't even know what that means, but I just know they're going to be extra fancy.

Maid: *sighs* Our guest may come with me now.

Me: Oh, I'm so excited!

*in the dining room*

Java Wolf: *seated at one end of a long table*

Flesh Mass: *seated at the opposite end of a long table* What's this all about?

Java Wolf: A feast for my first step into sheer depravity. Think of it as a true handing of the torch of evil from father to son. You'll see.

Flesh Mass: Are you going to kill that lady?

Java Wolf: Of course. Did you expect me to let her live? Anyone who enters my abode is a simple play thing for my visceral needs.

Flesh Mass: Don't kill her.

Java Wolf: Why?

Flesh Mass: She's innocent.

Java Wolf: None of us are innocent. Besides, what connection do you have to that miserable woman which makes you vouch for her life?

Flesh Mass: I've see her around town before, but it's not that. She was on the streets in a trash can. She looked so pathetic. She looked like me. I pity her.

Java Wolf: Pity. Whenever I see something pitiful I get an insatiable urge to kill it. But, my dear, I have to say that you're beginning to disappoint me.

Flesh Mass: I was never trying to impress you in the first place, dude.

Java Wolf: Indeed, it's more of a personal bugbear than a true failing in your character. It's slightly irritating that a being with a unique condition such as yours would fall so in line with traditional morality that you would even take pity on a worthless vagrant woman. Most people simply ignore street riff-raff like her. She won't be missed. Then again, I have an inkling that whatever morality you may display is but a simple front for an ideology that's much more alien and unknowable. Would you say that's the case?

Flesh Mass: I don't think about that type of shit, dude.

Java Wolf: Such a shame.

Maid: *enters the dining room* Our guest has arrived.

Me: *enters the dining room in an elegant dress* Oh my god, this is the prettiest room I've seen in my entire life. *takes a seat in the middle of the long ass table* I can't believe this table! Why is it so long! Can you guys even hear! Do I need to yell!

Java Wolf: No yelling is necessary, thank you.

Me: Oh. My. God! Are you a furry!? Your fursuit is so pretty! I used to be a furry, y'know! I had to get out of the fandom because it was too expensive, and I was working 24/7! Oh, it was horrible! But, I never thought I'd meet a real furry! Especially, one that owns such an awesome mansion! Are you a celebrity!?

Java Wolf: No, my dear. I am not a celebrity. My name is Nathan Wolfe, heir to the Wolfe fortune. So, I must be honest with you and say that the extravagant wealth that you see before you now was not created by me, but instead appropriated from my father. Rest his soul. You can refer to me as, Java Wolf. My dear, would happen to know about the history of my family?

Me: No, but I've heard the name around before.

Java Wolf: It's no surprise that you would, my family is the most wealthy family within in the county area, due in part to the former family business, that of exporting premium grade luxury coffee. My father was the head of the business for the majority of its existence, but when he passed he I had inherited control of the business and his fortune. During this period I had traveled to the country where the coffee beans that fueled the business were collected. You wouldn't believe what I saw.

Me: What'd you see?

Java Wolf: Debauchery and cruelty, my dear. It was pure slave labour, even torture at times. I couldn't believe such a thing was legal, much less condoned under the command of my father whom I always viewed as a man of absolute moral integrity. I couldn't let it continue, my dear. So, I shut the whole business down and put an end to that exploitative madness, snuffing out my father's bloody legacy once and for all.

*the maid places mugs of coffee on the table*

Me: Whoa, that's a pretty big thing to do.

Java Wolf: Yes, though I am no saint. I have my base needs, my wants and comforts. I've kept all the wealth my father accumulated through the company, though its no different than blood money in the eyes of a just arbitrator. However, I don't think such an arbitrator can exist in the Western world, so wrought with capitalist hegemony. Do you, my dear?

Me: I don't know really know what you mean.

Java Wolf: *chuckles* It's no matter. No matter at all. We're not here tonight to discuss politics or morality. We're here to celebrate an awakening, and give welcome to our beautiful guest.

Me: Oh gosh, you're making me blush.

Java Wolf: *lifts mug* So, may I propose a toast. A toast to the Wolf and the Trinity that unites us all in debauchery.

Me: A toast to the Wolf and the Trinity of something something!

Flesh Mass: Whatever she said.

Java Wolf: Drink, my dears. Drink. *sips coffee* Hmm, this coffee tastes pretty odd. *yawns* Goodness, excuse me. *passes out and falls out of chair*

Maid: Oh, how foolish of me. I accidentally gave master the spiked coffee instead of our guest. How could I have made such a grievous mistake. *lights cigarette and takes a long drag*

Flesh Mass: Yeah, if you need me I'll be playing xbox. *walks off*

Me: This is a weird party.

[fresh-breath-of-heir]

Answer all 200 questions (if you don't have time, answer as many as you can get to!!)

Fuck okay lmao

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t really have a crush right now? But my fp’s name is Sebastian! 199: I was born in: Cape May Court House, New Jersey.198: I am really: tired of being alive lmao197: My cellphone company is: Verizon196: My eye color is: Hazel195: My shoe size is: 12.5194: My ring size is: idk man193: My height is: 5′11.5″192: I am allergic to: nothing191: My 1st car was: n/a190: My 1st job was: n/a189: Last book you read: For school, Fences. For pleasure, Nimona.188: My bed is: soft and squishy.187: My pet: is an adorable Italian Greagle named Bonnie.186: My best friend: Elizabeth, who barely goes on here anymore lol185: My favorite shampoo is: idk??184: Xbox or ps3: ps3183: Piggy banks are: annoying to use182: In my pockets: my wallet181: On my calendar: n/a180: Marriage is: nonexistent179: Spongebob can: finally die pls178: My mom: is amazing177: The last three songs I bought were? ive never bought music in my life lmao176: Last YouTube video watched: the most recent wtsf by meghan tonjes175: How many cousins do you have? 2174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother and a half sister173: Are your parents divorced? No172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes171: Do you play an instrument? I used to play the trumpet but I sing.170: What did you do yesterday? Slept most of the day, saw Passengers with some friends, then went to a small New Year’s party[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: Sometimes.168: Luck: No.167: Fate: No.166: Yourself: No.165: Aliens: Yes.164: Heaven: No.163: Hell: No.162: God: No.161: Horoscopes: No.160: Soul mates: No.159: Ghosts: No.158: Gay Marriage: Yes??? wtf157: War: god no156: Orbs: idk what this is155: Magic: no[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Kisses153: Drunk or High: never been either so152: Phone or Online: online151: Red heads or Black haired: black haired150: Blondes or Brunettes: blondes149: Hot or cold: cold148: Summer or winter: winter147: Autumn or Spring: autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: apples143: Curly or Straight hair: straight142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonalds141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor137: Coke or Pepsi: coke136: Hillary or Obama: hillary135: Burried or cremated: cremated134: Singing or Dancing: singing133: Coach or Chanel: idk??132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: idk either of these people131: Small town or Big city: big city130: Wal-Mart or Target: target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: ben stiller128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk manicure i guess127: East Coast or West Coast: east126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers124: Disney or Six Flags: disney123: Yankees or Red Sox: neither fuck sports lmao[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Fuck it and anyone that supports it121: George Bush: Fuck him and anyone who supports him120: Gay Marriage: its just marriage lol119: The presidential election: fuck off118: Abortion: its the person own decision whether or not they should get one117: MySpace: never used it but it looks horrible lmao116: Reality TV: dramatic115: Parents: love my mom my dad can die in a fire114: Back stabbers: if you betray someone you can die113: Ebay: alright i guess?112: Facebook: too many conservatives111: Work: n/a110: My Neighbors: elderly but seemingly nice109: Gas Prices: i dont buy gas108: Designer Clothes: too expensive for me but i dont judge that107: College: needed but it shouldnt be106: Sports: pros get paid too fucking much 105: My family: mostly annoying and too conservative104: The future: bud i can barely plan ahead five minutes[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: last night102: Last time you ate: right now101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: last night100: Cried in front of someone: last wednesday at school lmao99: Went to a movie theater: last night98: Took a vacation: last summer i guess97: Swam in a pool: last summer96: Changed a diaper: n/a95: Got my nails done: n/a94: Went to a wedding: 2008 i think??93: Broke a bone: i havent92: Got a peircing: i havent91: Broke the law: last night90: Texted: like ten minutes ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Sebastian88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog87: The last movie I saw: Passengers86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: death and kissing cute boys85: The thing im not looking forward to: death84: People call me: a piece of shit83: The most difficult thing to do is: ask people for something that might inconvenience them82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: no81: My zodiac sign is: Cancer/Leo cusp80: The first person i talked to today was: Sebastian79: First time you had a crush: It was on Peter from The Chronicles of Narnia78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: i can hide things from everyone bud77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk76: Right now I am talking to: no one75: What are you going to do when you grow up: i want to be a veterinarian74: I have/will get a job: eventually73: Tomorrow: hopefully i wont kill myself also i want to play the walking dead a new frontier72: Today: i didnt kill myself and finished the walking dead season 271: Next Summer: maybe ill be getting ready for college maybe ill  be dead who knows70: Next Weekend: maybe get to hang out with Sebastian maybe die 69: I have these pets: a dog68: The worst sound in the world: metal scraping on metal67: The person that makes me cry the most is: i cant just pick one66: People that make you happy: Katie, Lizzie, Sebastian, Andrea, Kalina, Tabby65: Last time I cried: like an hour ago lmao64: My friends are: somehow real63: My computer is: tiny and slow62: My School: a piece of shit but im used to it61: My Car: n/a60: I lose all respect for people who: purposefully hurt another person59: The movie I cried at was: Marley and Me58: Your hair color is: Black57: TV shows you watch: Jane the Virgin, Sense856: Favorite web site: idk man youtube i guess55: Your dream vacation: I want to live a month in every country in the world54: The worst pain I was ever in was: im constantly in pain so idk man53: How do you like your steak cooked: i dont like steak52: My room is: a constant mess51: My favorite celebrity is: Idina Menzel or Aaron Tveit50: Where would you like to be: with my fp49: Do you want children: i cant take care of myself how would i take care of a child48: Ever been in love: im always in love47: Who’s your best friend: Lizzie46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl45: One thing that makes you feel great is: validation and physical touch from my fp44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Sebastian43: Do you have a 5 year plan: i dont even have a five minute plan my dude42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no41: Have you pre-named your children: ive always loved the names eliza and sebastian40: Last person I got mad at: myself39: I would like to move to: upstate new york38: I wish I was a professional: broadway performer[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: swedish fish36: Vehicle: one that runs me over35: President: theyre all pieces of shit so34: State visited: new york33: Cellphone provider: fuck capitalism32: Athlete: serena williams tbh31: Actor: Aaron Tveit30: Actress: Idina Menzel29: Singer: Syd Matters28: Band: Andrew Jackson Jihad27: Clothing store: no26: Grocery store: giant25: TV show: sense824: Movie: The Way He Looks23: Website: youtube i guess22: Animal: dogs21: Theme park: no20: Holiday: christmas19: Sport to watch: no18: Sport to play: definitely no17: Magazine: no16: Book: Nimona15: Day of the week: Saturday14: Beach: Idk???13: Concert attended: I saw Paramore in concert and it was awesome12: Thing to cook: mac and cheese11: Food: mac and cheese10: Restaurant: a local diner9: Radio station: no8: Yankee candle scent: no idea7: Perfume: no6: Flower: lilies or tiger lilies5: Color: orange4: Talk show host: idk3: Comedian: idk2: Dog breed: idk1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yeah lmao   

[captain-highly-caffeinated]

(I'm trying not to be a spamming pita lol. It's just nice fandom exploding)

I need to decide if I'm getting FFV digitally onto the ps3 as I doubt I'll get it in physical before the ps store closes down on old gen in a few months. Hoping they maybe sale before that.

VI is good! But I did have the today's benefit of looking up anything online if needed. Terra is a cinnamon roll, and all characters had their own story which made it great. The version I played had the dodgy translations though, and was mad. Tonberries were called pugs🤣

I know I've missed out a good one with lost odyssey. Fable too. But I never had an xbox, and certainly am not getting one now, as my current backlog is insane. Not joking when I say I'm probably set for life haha (Shin megami tensei and monster hunter are the WORST time consumers alone, nevermind all of the others to get through. Discovered Yakuza 0 last year too. Immediately had to buy all of the main series apart from the newest. Ugh). Also why I won't get myself a decent pc. The possibilities with that would NEVER end.

DQVIII was the ps2 one. Took a loooong time for us to get anymore localised. XI scratched the proper turn-based jrpg itch really well. Too well really. Thing was over 100 hours 😂

FFIX is smashing too, but grim. They all have undertones of it (X, entire plot more like), but IX gets grim FAST.

That's another reason I won't get a pc. I know I'd fry it trying to run something it can't. Don't remember where I saw the skins. Probably custom jobs?

You're lucky you haven't been through IX. It gets worse. There's a tree. Iifa. Two i's. I have gone almost it's entire age thinking it was Lifa. All the fun times. Always thought it was tide-us too to continue on the weather themes with Cloud and Squall.

Zell being an absolute unit. Amazing🤣🤣🤣🤣

When I got turk Vincent from those trading blind boxes without even knowing he was there as a secret, I lost my shit COMPLETELY. Totally worth the first ebay!

I always felt we got like the sub par play arts figures over here? A good few of mine had something wrong with them straight out of the box. All of them came from my local forbidden planet at the time, so no postal shade either. No idea. Also why I won't buy any of the new ones. How can I be sure the quality is there when I've experienced first hand that it isn't 🙃

My pal got my Balthier a little Fran keyring. Kicking myself over not getting her too =(

I'm pretty sure I even found bjd through a random final fantasy image search. Forgot, then remembered years later like "oh, I can maybe get these now that I work.". Boy, was that a mistake.

Cosplay 'em like no tomorrow! I've seen a Zidane done on a resinsoul. It was super good.

I feel terrible if anyone follows me for my like once a year progress. It'll be a while peeps🤣

Got the darkest American doll sized wig I could find, and it does have a little stretch, so fits-ish. Despite the sales pics being black, it's super dark brown. But that's what I was going for anyway since Laguna does actually have brown hair, not black.

Bad photos because flash is never a good idea, so bad lighting, but I was not moving him to a brighter light when the wig was such a fight to get on his giant head.

So, yeah, guess he's Laguna Loire copyright infringement now. I hate myself🤦‍♀️🤣