#I don't even WATCH the thing in question and I knew this

[lazycats-stuff]

How about Batfam x male reader, where reader is Russian and has a slight accent, unless someone really pissed him off, that's when it really shows. Reader is always eloquent and kind, and you don't notice his accent unless you are really paying attention to the way he says certain words, but after a few galas where a fat businessman keeps insulting him somehow, and Damian or Jason are trying to defend Reader, but Reader just tells them no. When the fat businessman insults his brothers, Reader finally snaps and just goes full blown Michael Blackson Teacher style roast on him and his entire family in front of everyone, even his Russian accent comes out (I just think it would be funnier with the accent). After the gala is done, Bruce tries to scold the reader, but everyone is constantly trying to contain their laughter except Jason, as Reader finally snapping is the funniest thing that ever happened at a gala. Even Alfred can't bring himself to scold Reader for what he has done because he was there.

I know you are probably busy, so whenever you have the time for this one-shot. Thank you.

Oh hell yeah. Also, I couldn't find a GIF. I'm sorry...

Summary: (Y/N) is Russian and takes no disrespect.

Warnings: fat shaming? Only when (Y/N) was insulted.

Bruce would say that all of his children are nice, but (Y/N) is an exception to a certain degree. He is nice, eloquent, kind and loves to help others. He's Russian, can speak Russian fluently and his accent is rather hidden. You can hear it come out in certain words, but other than that, it is rather hidden. And Bruce loves to listen to it. Especially when he is frustrated about something, or simply can't remember a word in English.

That's when the Russian actually comes out. Of course everyone will revert to their native language when frustrated, mad and everything else. It was something that was rather endearing. Cute even. Just some grumbling underneath his breath about something in Russian. (Y/N)'s brothers found it cute. And they started to pick up a few phrases of their own.

But not curse words, because Alfred doesn't want to hear any cursing in the manor. None. Not in English, Russian, Arabic or any other language. It doesn't matter if it's a dead language or a live one, because Alfred is going to lay down the law.

Even now, while there was a gala going on in the Manor, Bruce watched his sons carefully. Jason was evading it with everything in him, Tim was getting some food, Damian was his usual grouchy self, Dick was conversing with some people and so was (Y/N), using his eloquence to get his points across. Bruce smiled as he brought a glass up to his lips, sipping some champagne.

All was well.

For once.

Bruce was surprised, but wasn't going to complain or actually question why the universe has decided to bring peace upon the Wayne Manor. Peace was seemingly a rare thing in this Manor and Bruce was going to cherish it for the rest of the night. Actually, for as long as it lasts, Bruce will cherish it.

Oh, that peace wasn't going to last long.

At all.

As (Y/N) was talking to a woman about some charities, a big, fat businessman approached. Sure, it's not nice to call someone fat, but, if someone's stomach is spilling over the pants, then it's just a fair game. Bruce watched from afar, just observing the room.

He raised his brow when he saw (Y/N) frowning, clearly mad about something. Bruce could make out a few words and one of them struck a nerve. Commie, or short for communist. (Y/N) never liked that. Never. Just because Russia was a communist country, that doesn't make him bad. And how the hell is that an insult?

(Y/N) shot right back, calling him a capitalist for not caring about his workers, which were the more prevalent rumors in the high society. Bruce watched, wondering how it will unfold. But then it hit him. This was the man that (Y/N) had problems with for the last few galas. (Y/N) always remained polite, but Bruce knew that it would rile him up and upset him.

Damian and Jason noticed and both have jumped to his defense, defending him with polite and tense smiles. But the businessman wasn't letting up. At all. Being this relentless in insulting was rather... Weird. Bruce kept watching, ready to step in the moment it gets too tense or it escalates.

And (Y/N) had a rule. It was, insult him all you want, but insult his brothers? He will retaliate. Tenfold.

And that's where the fat man opened the door for him to retaliate. The moment that the man insulted Damian's Arabic heritage and Jason's life on the streets before adoption, (Y/N) was absolutely fuming and has decided to go onto the offensive.

He hurled insults onto the man, but one that made Bruce nearly lose his mind was, and he quotes this, " You are one sandwich away from a heart attack. " And (Y/N) wasn't done, far from done. Firstly, the Russian accent came out during all of this and he wasn't letting up. Since the family of the fat businessman joined, (Y/N) was not battling on two different fronts.

And he wasn't holding back.

At all.

Jason and Damian were trying to keep straight faces but it's not easy.

Bruce had no doubt that Jason would later say that the insults are a work of art.

The gala was now over and everyone was sitting in the kitchen, munching on the leftover food. Alfred was standing there, watching (Y/N), knowing what had went down in the ballroom. Bruce was supposed to scold him. Maybe ground him, perhaps. Take away certain things?

But then again, he was defending himself. The man insulted him first so... Well...

So Bruce was going to try to scold (Y/N). He has to. And that was difficult when everyone around them was trying not to laugh so hard. Even Alfred. Seeing (Y/N) snap, when he was normally kind and calm. And with a Russian accent too. It was all too much for Jason who was laughing his ass off the entire time whole Bruce was trying to scold the reader.

" You know what, I won't scold you, " Bruce declared, making Jason cry from laughter.

" (Y/N) snapping is the best thing that has ever happened at a gala. Ever. EVER, " Jason wheezed out, slapping his knee.

Alfred tried not to break, because he was supposed to be a serious one, but Alfred couldn't even hold it together. He was about to break. Should (Y/N) be scolded? Yes. However, he didn't start the insulting, the man did... Alfred tried to keep it together. He did.

And he was going to keep it together.

So, to conclude the evening, in the history of galas, (Y/N) has put his mark in it.

[laneywrld]

no greater engine than desire | Lewis Hamilton Series

chapter one | big talk, big offers. nomi is a genius; it's true. when you need someone to make a championship-winning car, check Texas first.

word count: 3.5k

warnings: none

When Lewis had agreed to move to Ferarri, Fred already had someone else in mind to bring onto the team.

Now Fred was a French man who spent most of his time in Maranello, but he had eyes everywhere.

On this particular day, his eyes were in Texas.

"And she is there, yes?" Fred asks, his voice crackling over the speaker.

"She is," Alessandro confirms.

And the she they're referring to is Nomi Williams.

Now, the beautiful thing about Nomi is that she's an absolute genius.

She'd been on Fred's radar since his early days at Sauber, but then he knew he couldn't afford her. Now, he knew monetary issues wouldn't serve as a problem.

But back to Nomi, she's a genius, it's true!

You may ask yourself, what is a genius doing riding around a country dirt track in an old school Mustang in the middle of nowhere Texas? And why was an Italian man dressed to the tens watching her yards away?

The Mustang growled as it tore through the loose dirt, kicking up a cloud of dust that shimmered like gold under the hot Texas sun. Behind the wheel, Nomi was sharp; she was focused and effortlessly in control. Her hands commanded the wheel, and her foot teased the accelerator like she was coaxing a lover.

"I just don't get it." Fred sighs.

"Get what, boss?" Allesandro questions.

"Why she's in a place like that, with a brain like hers."

"Freedom," Allesandro replied. "Just her, a car, and the open road. You know the type—brilliant enough to rewrite the rules, stubborn enough to refuse to play the game."

On the track, Nomi slid the Mustang into a corner, the rear tires spinning just enough to test her control.

She smiles to herself as the car skids across the dirt, but the moment is interrupted by her phone vibrating on the dash.

She ignored it for a moment, letting the Mustang roar down the final stretch of the dirt track before pulling to a halt in a swirl of dust. She reached for the phone and squinted at the screen—an unknown number.

Frowning, she swiped to answer, her voice clipped. "Hello?"

There was a pause, and then Fred's accent cut through. "Nomi Williams, I presume."

Her brow furrowed, and she leaned back in her seat, already wary. "Who's asking?"

"Fred Vasseur," he said as if that name should mean something. And to her, it did.

Nomi's lips parted in surprise, but she quickly schooled her expression, even though he couldn't see it. "Well, this is unexpected," she replied coolly, her Texan drawl laced with intrigue.

Nomi steps out of the car, her worn boots digging into the dirt. "Is that your guy watching me?" She asks.

"What gave it away?"

"I don't know; I think the fact that he's dressed like Al Capone."

Fred chuckles over the phone, and Nomi lifts her arm to wave at Alessandro, who seems to forget the meaning of inconspicuous.

"He's mine," Fred admits.

"And he's here, why?" Nomi asks, swinging the door closed to her Mustang and leaning back against the side of the car.

"He's scouting for me."

"More like stalking; I should be afraid right now; how do you have my number?"

"I have ties."

"Scouting who?"

"You, of course."

Nomi chuckles, "Yeah, right, what use am I to you?"

Fred's laugh crackled through the phone, amused.

"Come now, Nomi. Don't insult us both with false modesty. You know exactly what you're capable of. I need someone like you on my team."

Her eyes narrowed, the heat of the Texas sun doing little to thaw her skepticism. "Your team? That's a long way from here. What could Ferrari possibly want with someone like me?"

"Someone like you," Fred repeated, his voice plunging slightly, "doesn't belong in the middle of nowhere, playing with dirt tracks. You belong on the world stage."

"And let me guess," she said, tapping the roof of her Mustang. "You're offering me that stage?"

"Not just the stage, everything," Fred replied quickly. "I need someone with your mind on my team who can see what others miss."

She tilted her head, considering his words. "And what makes you think I'd leave all this behind?"

"You underestimate yourself, Miss Williams."

"I don't," Nomi replied, crossing her arms as her eyes flicked to Alessandro, who was pretending to study something on his phone.

"I just don't see how my little Texas hobby is of any interest to someone like you."

"What you're calling a hobby is what I call brilliance. I've been watching you for a long time. I know what you're working on is more than a hobby."

"Well, that makes one of us, Fred."

Fred's chuckle, in return, was rich. "You're wasted there, Nomi. Hidden away in the dust."

The line went quiet momentarily as Nomi chewed on her lip, her boots scuffing against the dirt. The Mustang behind her ticked faintly as the engine cooled.

"Flattery doesn't work on me, Fred. Don't you already have your geniuses? What's the point in me?"

"Ah!" He laughs, "That's where you're mistaken! I have geniuses, yes! I have engineers, strategists, and drivers, all of whom are brilliant. But I have no one who understands cars like you. None who can give me what I want."

"What do you want?"

"A championship."

"Big talk."

"Big offers, too," Fred countered. "Alessandro has the details. Take your time to think it over."

"And if I say no?"

"Then Alessandro will enjoy his vacation in Texas, and I'll keep calling until you change your mind," Fred said.

The line went dead, leaving Nomi standing in the heat, staring at her phone as if it might offer her answers.

From across the track, Alessandro approached a folder in hand and a cautious smile on his face. "Well," he said, offering her the paperwork, "if nothing else, you've got Fred's attention."

"And you've got a long paid vacation in Texas."

Nomi actually loved where she was from.

She was a country girl through and through.

She loved the dirt, the tall grass, she loved her home and their animals and she was enamored by the old cars and dirt tracks, and the endless rocky roads she could skid down without repercussions.

The point is, she loved Texas. And she had only ventured away from her lovely abode only a few short times.

When she spent those four years away at college in Boston that was a twenty-three-hour drive and not a twenty-hour flight across the world.

She had yet to tell her family about the offer she had received.

She already knew how her family would react.

Her mother would get all pissy and sour and scold her father for encouraging her to go. She wouldn't want her to go. She'd be overly cautious. Her mind would reel about every bad thing that could happen to her baby, especially on another continent.

And her brother, he'd ask her what she wanted to do.

Which is why she asks him first.

She's fresh out of the shower, skin slathered in cocoa butter and hair braided down for the night when she leaves the ranch house and walks down to his house about fifteen acres down the trail. She could’ve taken the four-wheeler and cut that trip down to about a few minutes but she instead used the time to reel over her possibilities.

Her brain worked logically at all times, there were facts and then there were the very motives that contradict her ever wanting to take this chance.

She'd have to relocate to Maranello - fact.

Which would mean leaving Texas.

She'd have more money than she could spend - fact.

Money as of late hadn't been a factor.

She'd be making a name for herself in the motorsport world.

She was already an acclaimed engineer.

JJ's house came into view, and his porch light welcomed her as it always had.

She climbed the steps and knocked lightly before letting herself in.

He looked up from the couch, a half-empty beer in hand. “What’s up, sis?”

Nomi hesitated, leaning against the doorframe. “Got a question for you.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Shoot.”

“If someone offered you the world… but it meant leaving everything you loved behind… would you take it?”

Her brother set down the beer, studying her for a long moment. “That depends,” he said slowly. “Do you love what you’d be leaving more than you want what they’re offering?”

Nomi didn’t reply right away. She glanced out the window, where the Texas stars stretched endlessly overhead. "No."

Her brother smiled faintly, "That just means you're comfortable. Comfort is a luxury you've had your whole life. Do you want to be comfortable or do you want a thrill?"

Nomi sighs and plops down on the couch beside her brother.

"I received an offer."

"I figured," He chuckled, reaching for the remote and lowering the volume on the TV, "from?"

"Ferarri."

JJ whoops and literally jumps up from his seat, his beer sloshing onto his hand slightly. "Nomi! That's huge!"

Nomi drums her fingers against her knees, and JJ's eyes follow the movement.

"What do you think?" He tries his best to let the expectant look drop from his face. She didn't have a follow-up for his question.

"Okay," he breathes, settling back down onto the couch and wiping his hands on his jeans. Here's what I think, I think you've worked your ass off for years. You’re already one of the best engineers in the game. No one’s gonna tell you to take the offer, but you’ve earned that kind of opportunity."

“But...” he pressed, his voice softer now. “You know what it means. You’ve got a life here. You’ve got us.”

Nomi nods, "Which is why I shouldn't take it, right?"

"But that's the beautiful thing about family, Nomi. We'll always be here waiting for you. If that's your deciding factor, I've answered it. Mama might be a little down about it, pops a little too excited, but we'll always be here waiting and accepting you back with open arms."

"It is Ferrari," Nomi whispers.

"Exactly," JJ nudges her with his shoulder, "I can't see myself living in a world where Nomi Williams turns down an offer from Ferrari, the girl who named her horse Maranello, the girl who painted her first car red by herself. I mean you manifested this."

"When you tell Mama and Pops you're going, lead with that maybe."

"I never said I was taking it."

"I know you, Nomi."

The relationship between a driver and his race engineer is... delicate.

Yes, delicate. That's how Lewis would describe it.

There's a need for balance and understanding. For the relationship to thrive, there needs to be this consistent effort.

The engineer should want the win just as much as the driver if not more, and they should do anything to get them there.

Lewis had Bono, and up until last season, he was sure he'd found the perfect partner in the racing world.

They had a certain level of trust in each other.

But here's the thing about trust: it takes time to be built but can easily be broken.

Lewis wouldn't say his trust in Bono had completely fallen to pieces; it wasn't shattered, but the cracks had surely shown towards the end.

This is why he's a bit weary of whoever will be directing him this year.

He was starting over from scratch; this person would have to learn his driving style and the perfect balance between him and the car, and they'd have to trust his word. They'd have to trust him, too.

And in return, he'd have to trust them too.

Lewis didn't particularly like testing days.

In fact, he's opted out of testing for the last few years, instead giving the reserve drivers extra time in the car. But this year was different.

He was no longer at Mercedes; he was with Ferrari and knew absolutely nothing.

It's his main concern. It reeled over in his mind from the second he woke up, all the way into the showers; it lingered with him. It clung to him as he got dressed, and it rode in the car with him all the way to the track.

He could imagine him now, balding, with grey hair, slim and tall. That description seemed to fit too many of the Ferrari team.

He was sure it was a part of the application.

40+. Check

White/Italian. Check

Male. Double-check

Maybe they'd even thrown in a quiz. Describe the essence of Enzo Ferrari in 100 words or less.

Lewis sighed, picturing his engineer explaining strategy in a heavy accent, a cigarette dangling precariously between their fingers. "No push now, Lewis. Is good time for espresso."

He let out a laugh under his breath. If the guy showed up in red loafers and a silk scarf, he might lose it entirely.

So when he stepped into the Ferrari garage and saw his new race engineer for the first time, Lewis froze.

She wasn't 40.

She wasn't balding.

And she definitely wasn't a man.

Instead, she was... young. Younger than him. A woman with sharp brown eyes, a no-nonsense expression, and hair tied back in a ponytail like she didn't have the time to do anything else with it.

No cigarette. No espresso.

No red silk scarf, no loafers.

Just a clipboard, a laptop, and a very unimpressed look.

"Well," she said, glancing at her watch. "Glad you could finally make it, Mr. Hamilton. Ready to work, or should I grab you a cappuccino first?"

Oh, this was going to be fun.

Lewis raised an eyebrow, half in surprise, half in wonder, and used the moment to take her in. "I'm good."

"Great." She pivoted on her heel, moving quickly towards the car without even so much as a look over her shoulder.

Lewis catches on to the fact that he's supposed to be following her and quickly does so.

"We've got a lot of work to do."

"You're my race engineer?" He asks. And she stops in her tracks, her fingers passing the typing on the laptop she carried in her arm.

"Oh my god, you're so smart." She says dryly before continuing her march. "My name is Nomi."

"Right," Lewis muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Sharp tongue, check. "How long have you been with Ferrari?"

"Long enough to know how this team works," she replied, stopping abruptly in front of the car. "Which, by the way, is about 80% drama, 15% tradition, and 5% actual racing. Welcome to the circus."

Lewis huffed out a surprised laugh. He hadn't expected that level of honesty. "Sounds like you've got it all figured out."

Nomi turned to face him, one eyebrow arching slightly. "I don't figure things out, Mr. Hamilton. I know them. And what I know right now is that you've got a lot to learn about this car."

"And you've got a lot to learn about me." He shot back. She freezes, and for a second, he's sure he's managed to fuck up just that fast, but then her face twitches, and a shit-eating smile takes over her lips.

"Good, let's start with that." She closes the laptop, nestling it and the clipboard under her arm, "Get in. I need data, and you need laps. Unless you'd prefer to chat over tea and biscuits?"

Lewis smirked, a flicker of amusement breaking through his guarded exterior. "Not really my style."

"Shame," Nomi deadpanned. "I had the good biscuits ready, too."

In the car, her voice crackles over the earpiece, "Radio check. Can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear." Lewis chuckles to himself after sending through his message.

Here, he was worried about the thick Italian accents when, in reality, a Texan drawl would be his biggest concern.

"Good," Nomi said. "Let's get you out there. Take your out-lap steady—no heroics. Just need to get some baseline data first."

"Oh, so you're taking the fun out of it."

"Fun comes later, cowboy," she shot back without missing a beat. "Let's see if you can even handle my upgrades before you start showing off. Pit lane's clear; when you're ready, take her out."

And he does.

And what this car is is nothing short of magnificent.

Lewis hadn't felt this fast since the W11.

And somehow, impossibly, this car felt even more alive than that.

"Steering is okay?"

"Feels good. Maybe a touch light, but I'll let you know after the first lap."

"Copy. We've got the brake bias forward by a click from Charles' run, but I can adjust it if it's not working for you."

Lewis took the car through the first corner, feeling out the balance. "Front's biting nicely. The rear feels planted so far."

"Not bad," she said, focused. "Don't get too comfortable, though. I set it up a little aggressive. Want to see how you handle it."

He smirked, pushing the throttle a little harder into the next straight. The car responded immediately, and he was a little shocked by just how smooth the power delivery was.

"This is aggressive?"

"Don't tempt me, Lewis," she warned a hint of laughter in her voice. "If you're not sweating by the end of this stint, I haven't done my job."

Alright, Nomi. Let's see what you've got."

Lewis grinned as he tore down the straight; the car hummed beneath him. He hadn't expected to feel this good or this fast. It was almost like Ferrari was trying to make up for years of... well, being Ferrari.

"Feels like you've been holding out on Charles," Lewis quipped as he braked hard into the next corner.

"Not at all," Nomi replied smoothly, her voice calm in his ear. "I just know how to set up a car for a seven-time world champion."

Lewis barked out a laugh, surprised at how easily the compliment—or was it a dig?—slipped in. "Careful, Nomi. Flattery will get you everywhere."

"Noted," she said dryly. "But don't get cocky yet. We're still in the honeymoon phase. Wait until you start complaining about understeer mid-race."

Lewis shook his head, a smirk tugging at his lips as he powered through another series of corners. "You've got me all figured out, huh?"

"I'm working on it," Nomi shot back. "And so far, you're about 50% talent, 40% ego, and 10% British politeness."

"Politeness?"

"Well, you did say thank you when I told you to get in the car. That's rare around here."

He chuckled, easing into the next corner and letting the car prom through the apex. The setup really was aggressive but in the best way possible.

"You weren't kidding about this being aggressive," Lewis said after a moment. "But it's good. Real good."

"Good," Nomi replied, efficient again. "Push a little harder on the next lap. I need data on high-speed cornering, and we'll see if those tires hold up."

"Copy that," Lewis said, already lining up the next straight.

For a few laps, their conversation shifted into a steady tempo of feedback and adjustments.

It was familiar territory for Lewis, but there was something different about Nomi's style.

For one, she was sharper, more direct. She didn't waste time explaining things he didn't need to know, but when she did speak, it was clear she knew exactly what she was doing.

As he brought the car back into the pits after the stint, Lewis found himself smiling despite the sweat dripping down his face.

When he climbed out of the car, Nomi was already waiting for him, arms crossed and a faintly smug expression on her face. "Well?" she asked.

"Not bad," Lewis said, grabbing a towel and wiping his face. "I could get used to this."

"Good. It was nice meeting you; I'm guessing I'll see you again in a month or so?"

"I-uh, yeah." Lewis reaches his hand out, "Nice meeting you too."

Nomi accepts the gesture, her hand slotting into his, "90% talent, 10% British politeness."

And then she saunters away, disappearing within some doors, so quickly and slyly that Lewis questions if he imagined her.

"Met Nomi, I see."

It's Charles. Face dripping with sweat fresh out of his car.

"Yeah." Lewis nods, still eyeing the doors where she disappeared. "She's... young," Lewis said after a beat, unsure if he meant it as an observation or a question.

Charles chuckled, crossing his arms as he leaned against the nearest workstation. "Young, yes. But if you think that means inexperienced, you're in for a surprise. Nomi's why we got 22 podiums last season and, frankly, the only reason we're not running a mid-pack car right now. She doesn't miss."

"She wasn't a race engineer last season, though?"

"No." Charles affirms, "But when she wasn't busy working on the 2025 car and tweaking her engine, she was upgrading our cars."

"Working on the car, tweaking the engine? You're saying that-"

"I'm saying that every piece of these cars came from blueprints she has scribbled in her notebook."

Fred approaches as Lewis states his next question, "And you trust her to build a championship-winning car?"

Fred shrugged, a knowing smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "I trust her to make this car faster than it has any right to be. Whether that's good enough for a championship—well, that's up to you guys."

first fic of the new year 🥳

taglist: @harrys-hs-gf1 @ariesmai @lh44girl @wabi-sabi1090 @nayaesworld @strengthandstay @annisassintchaska @greedyjudge2

[janecuppa]

Hello ladies and gents!

What you all have been waiting for has arrived! THE TEA.

I just have a few things I want to say first to bring understanding and clarification. I'm not a lawyer. I'm not going to try to sway you one way or another. I'm just going to lay it all out and let you decide. I feel what I share should be able to speak for itself. I may share some opinions and conclusions I've come to, but that is all. Opinions are not facts. It's just what I personally think.

I will admit the tea was served to me with a clear bias, so I will also have to pass it on with a bias.

I don't believe in trying to influence what you think and believe. Trying to coerce you into what I think, because it really doesn't matter. I think it should speak for itself. Those who influence and try to control what you think do so because they want to brainwash you into their way of thinking. I don't think that's right. Autonomy is so important to me. You should have your own freedom in that. So just take it in. Think it over. Decide for yourself.

Use some critical thinking.

Because I will say, when people get a little loud, defensive and aggressive and try to manipulate you and convince you of something, there is a reason. They're usually feeling threatened and insecure. And want to distract you and lead you away from what they don't want you to see. They will flow through different gears. Aggression and defensive to sometimes dismissive. Truth doesn't require such aggressive defending. Truths speak for themselves. Lies don't. Lies need weaving and defending.

So whenever someone has got defensive with me, I pause and bring a more critical eye to the situation. Why? Why are you defensive? What are you trying to deflect? Or if they get dismissive and almost seem to try to make you feel like an idiot for even considering it. "Don't be ridiculous. Why would you even give that a thought?". Theres something off there.

And every single time I've experienced that, I later realized it was because I was getting a little too close to comfort to seeing a truth. Many people can't handle the shame of being found out. So they try to intimidate. They get loud, defensive, or they'll try a different gear and attempt to dismiss it. So, just keep that in mind. If something is being talked about and causes a commotion, there is a reason why.

I keep in mind that people see and interact with the world with their own lense. People who bluster and bully, that says more about them. That reflects on them. It has nothing to do with me. It doesn't intimidate me. Go ahead. I'm not going to volly back. It's not worth it to me. I rather watch snow melt.

So go ahead, try to bully me. Riot and whoever else. You'll just be fighting with yourself. I didn't even bother reading what riot was posting because I really didn't care. I just immediately blocked her so I would stop being tagged and included with the infantile behavior. Do what you have to in order to cope. If it's throwing all the heinous words, threats and whatever else at me, go hard and have fun. And if some of the "NV stans" are paid like some think, then you go earn that coin! Put money in the bank! We all have bills to pay. I get it 🤣. But that still supports my point. If you're on a payroll, you're being told to go be loud and distractive for a reason.

Now. I went in search for answers. I'm snoopy and I want to understand. I ask questions. This entire thing has been bizarre and I think many could see that. It wasn't convincing. I knew there would be cracks and leaks if you searched hard enough. There's people out there that can't help themselves, regardless of administration and NDAs. There are many people around them. Some more consistently and some in passing. I knew there had to be a hotel worker, a sound guy, a friend of a friend, a waitress or something like that out there that would have seen or heard something. Some people can't help themselves if they think something is juicy. They'll tell their spouse, best friends, and maybe their parents. So I went in search for these people. I was determined and I did finally make some connections with seemingly valuable information. The one in particular proved themselves out when they told me that Henry and Natalie would have a public appearance soon. A few days later was the Enola Holmes premiere. The others had plausible stories that I wasn't seeing be talked about. I took it in under consideration, and that's where those stories still are filed. "Consideration and speculation." This is gossip. It's heresay. You have to remember that. It's not the gospel truth and should not be taken that way. Although I will say, personally speaking, that I'm lending it more weight based on the aggression I faced when I first started posting. Something in there is ruffling feathers and there is a reason.

I'll repeat. I'm not the only one who knows this stuff. If they were willing to tell me, they were willing to tell others. It has also been discussed in group chats. I myself have shared with selected people. This information is out there. I'm just the one who decided they were bored, realized they were sitting with all this gossip, and decided to put on the kettle. I knew what I was doing. I don't plan on outting my connections and sources. I don't think I could anyway if I wanted. They were careful. Thank you for your patience. I felt like I was back in university, sifting through textbooks and notebooks while I wrote an essay. That is what took time, trying to go back through conversations to make sure I had it right.

Now the fun begins! Remember, this is all alleged, gossip and heresay and not the gospel truth. I'm just repeating what all I've managed to find. Also, keep in mind I've been snooping and filing everything away for years. There is a lot to recall. I have had many many hours of conversations about this shit show. So even with all I share, I feel like you still will only get a summary. I feel like this could be written into a novel. Keep truck loads of salt nearby.

I've had multiple sources over the years. Some long term. Some have come and gone. I'm not going to keep mentioning them, but my making these multiple connections has enabled me to get all this gossip. It pays to be stubborn and snoopy.

This is probably going to come across as a story and in a way they are. It's gossip. It's multiple stories I've heard about them. I'm going to try to relay it how it was relayed to me.

Let's start from the beginning.

Henry was still under management with Dany. Dany liked to utilize PR relationships. They're common in Hollywood. They're a good way to generate traffic online and in the media with a celebrities name. People want to know the hottest gossip. Who is dating who. It helps keep their name being mentioned and relevant. In this type of business, they want to be relevant.

They wanted him to look like he upped his game from past girlfriends. They wanted to give him the look that he had a hot shot, big-time girlfriend in the industry. She wanted to take her career in a different direction, and she was only too happy to play along. She had been selected by Dany, and he agreed. There was a contract between them. It was originally only to last under a year. It was to be a business transaction.

Hollywood is all smoke and mirrors. They sell you what they want you to believe. It's a production. Even "real life" stuff. It's a business.

It's a cesspool if you ask me.

Social media is important to officials in Hollywood. Social media is another business tool to them. So they got her verified and a following to help her business, as stipulated in their contract. He was obligated to do that for her. It is also why he had to keep naming her publicly. It was in one of his contracts. He had to promote her. People thought it weird he kept naming her by her full name if she was a girlfriend, and I agree. It's fucking weird to do that for a girlfriend. But she wasn't his true girlfriend. She was a business associate and in my opinion, he told us that by calling her a "Partner". That was not a lie. She was a business partner. They were linked by a business contract.

They tried improving her image. They wanted her to be taken seriously. Her image reflected on him. The entire point was so he could have an elevated image. She was given a lot of guidance on how to act and portray herself. They put in a lot of effort. It was a complete scrub down and then rejuvenation.

She was terminated from Legendary. I was told because she was caught stealing their property. I was told it was a script. Which to me makes sense, because if you take that script to a competitor it can cause lots of problems and money lost. She also had a reputation as a bully in the workplace. She caused problems and was not easy to work with. Her ex coworkers have talked about her behavior online before. I've seen allegations on Reddit and IG from former coworkers against her.

Henry and her were in contract during this time. In short, the contract said he had to help her career. Her getting herself fired became his problem. He had already been in talks with Vertigo at this point for a possible producing partnership. He had been able to get her a sham title, articles and some contracted work. So she had worked for Vertigo but not as what they say. She hasn't had a permanent job since Legendary. But he did this to try to cover what happened and to help her become desirable to hire

Natalie also made many threats against Henry. She was not happy with the result of their contract. He was fulfilling his obligations, but she was not happy with the results. She expected more. She kept saying she would not leave until she was satisfied. She threatened that she would lie and tell stories against him.

This is after the era of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Amber Heard managed to be successful in ruining Johnny Depps life for a number of years with some lies. Obviously the two situations are slightly different but the core factors are the same. Lies managed to really cause upheaval in a man's life.

I can only speculate how Henry felt when he realized what he had to work with. He clearly took the threats seriously.

They renewed their contract many times. So there is a paper trail.

He tried to find a middle ground. But she couldn't be controlled. She stepped on so many peoples toes. She was so rude to people around them. He tried to keep conflicts to a minimum but she became too much. Staff members had enough, and they left. He tried to keep conflict to a minimum, but he couldn't manage. That's sad because staff members had to face bullying and abuse. In trying to appease her so she wouldn't go spread lies to the press and online, he couldn't also manage to keep a safe work environment. It's very sad and unfortunate. They were just working to get further in life like everyone else and shouldn't have had to be subjected to that. That's my opinion.

There has also been much conflict in regards to his families dislike of her. They don't hide that they don't like her and they don't invite her around. They don't include her, and there is always a distinct separation between them and her. There have been quite a few fights over this. I've heard she's embarrassed about the fact they don't hide it. TW3 premiere family pictures were to passify her.

They have so many reasons to not like her.

I mean it when I say she is unable to emotionally regulate herself. Each of my sources has had something to say about her behavior. It's a common theme.

She snaps. She loses control. She's impulsive. They've said it's like she loses her reason to her rage.

She screams. She yells. She throws things.

She has got physical in these episodes.

There is one such story I was told. There was witnesses. She must not have cared or she didn't think it through.

She was making demands of Henry. He was trying to explain what she wanted wouldn't work, she got angry, slapped him clear across his face, and then shoved him. They were separated. He went to get his gym gear immediately and left for the gym. She was escorted out. I was told there was a threat of getting the authorities involved that never amounted to anything. I'll talk more on this closer to the end. It's mostly opinion.

She has thrown things at him. She has yelled at and belittled him. She's gotten physical. And not just with him. Others have been involved in these episodes of hers.

His family was appalled, and everyone knew it. They wanted her gone, but there was a contract, and he was afraid she would follow through on her threats and he would have to deal with that disaster. My opinion, is he wanted to try to make it all work and he could get to the otherside. Help her career, keep her happy and he won't have to deal with his reputation being lied on and trying to fix it. I can guess he didn't want to live what Johnny Depp did. Johnny Depp was able to get his life back but for a big chunk of years his life was ruined.

She has also been unpleasant to his family and there's been fights over it. Word gets around. People know. You also just have to look at them and know not all is well there. But I have had people ask how he could let that happen and he hasn't just allowed it. There were big fights about her behavior towards them. With others around. A common theme is she doesn't mind fighting with an audience. My opinion and speculation is that perhaps she does that as a way to embarrass and manipulate him. To possibly try to exert dominance over him. Maybe she thought she had a higher chance of getting her way if she did it with an audience. But people talk, they gossip, and you have people like me who keep their nose to the ground, sniffing out stories like this that aren't really talked about. If you search hard enough, you will find a chink in the armor.

There's also been very long stretches of time he hasn't been physically available to her. She told her friends and family it was just normal long-distance relationship stuff. She's told her friends and family that it's a real relationship. He knows that. His business associates know that. My opinion is I don't think she could live with the shame of them knowing it was just supposed to be a business transaction. My opinion is she wanted them to believe she managed to bag Henry Cavill for herself. If my source is to be believed, she told them she slipped into his DMs, he took notice and responded positively.

But I was told it was because there was nothing coming up to promote during those stretches and he was off living his life and she was home living hers. I do know she had access to his Florida house at one point. Dany helped her with that. Dany had a lot of power and access to Henrys life. He allowed it. My opinion is he was naive and put too much trust in her. I know he changed all the codes, passwords and locks to everything in that house as a result.

I've already spoke on the Fuck Off post. It was a result of Natalie running to Dany upset at the backlash she was receiving. She was upset and felt it was getting in the way of what she wanted to achieve from this business deal. I suppose Dany felt the post was needed and concocted that post. My opinion is she tried to make it sound like he was some white knight protecting his damsel in distress lady love, and it came across disingenuous. Because it was. He hadn't been made a part of that plan. He was not happy, people knew, and Dany and him had a meeting over it. I don't know what was said in that meeting. I did ask lol. But I do know he was not happy with Dany, and it did play a part in her no longer being his manager. As I said, he had too much trust in her. Social media is a business tool, and his business associates have access to it. He had it so she could do with it what she felt was needed. He had given her that authorization.

Their contract had come to an end when filming in Turkey came around. Everything was supposed to have ended by then.

She suddenly showed up in Turkey using the last of her money while bringing her sick dog. She called crying to Henry about how she had no money and still hadn't managed to find a permanent job. She could no longer stay where she was, and to top it off, Meat was very sick, and she could not afford his vet care. I was told Henry had told her she could come and stay for a short visit and he would help her with Meats vet care. At that point, he didn't say anything about helping her with a job or finding a new home. It was, for now you can stay and I'll help with your dog. She was destitute at that point. This is the point where things went completely nuclear.

She caused many problems during the filming of this movie. She caused disturbances and scenes on set. There was a huge production hold up. She came on set and caused a huge scene with Henry. She was the perpetrator, the aggressor. Henry was taken aside by Jerry Bruckheimer himself and was given heck from him. That something like that could not occur again. They had a schedule they had to keep, too. They could not afford a hold-up like that again if it could be helped. So he needed to control her. She ended up being banned from Guy Ritchies films. This is just speculation on my part, but I do believe Alan Ritchson even alludes to the production holdup that resulted from her meltdown in an interview. I also speculate Guy Ritchie went out on a limb for Henry in that interview, where he made sure people understood Henry was a gentleman. It was his films these disturbances happened. He witnessed the meltdown from Natalie aimed at Henry. He knew and heard the aggression lobbied at him. My opinion is he wanted to say his piece and defend Henry from any possible rumors that stemmed from that. I also believe Henry wasn't expecting it. You can see in the interview from his reaction. He went to bat for Henry of his on volition.

She was not even allowed anywhere near the filming sets in Tenerife. She had been served a legal notice about it.

The thing with Natalie is. Everyone knows and has talked about how fame hungry she is. She wants to be a celebrity. It is why she entered the contract to begin with and kept making threats so she could get her way and force him to help her make her way in stardom. In my opinion, she was ruthless. Scare Henry into compliance so she could ride his coat tails. But the thing is, she did succeed in a way. People did know of her association with him. She was publicly known as his girlfriend, just like she wanted. That means throughout the years of her association with Henry, she has been caught with her ass out, almost literally. There's been a few dalliances with different men. Can it be classified as cheating? Henry and her definitely had a weird thing going on. I wouldn't call it romantic. Their relationship was built on fear and was very toxic. But she has been seen out with men. Henry does know about it. He is not ignorant to it. Those around him know about it. That's how I know, but I've also seen some of the rumors through the years myself apart from my connections. Even after posting on here, I've had a few anons ask about the different stories of her out partying and being seen with men. If there's no romantic relationship between her and Henry and it's just the most toxic business relationship known to man EVER, then she can do that. She can have fun with men. But don't be mad if you get what you want, which is seen and recognized. People know who you are. And those people don't have NDAs to protect you. They can go to their friends and say, "I saw Henrys girlfriend drinking and grinding up on some guy who definitely was not Henry". You can't be mad if that gets out and paints you in a bad light. Exactly that happened, and people know about it. She's a party girl and that didn't stop during her association with him. She's been seen out.

Let's not be naive. They have slept together. Everyone is adults. Let's not be children about it. But...

What is embarrassing is what is being said about it.

He told people around him that he could not remember ever going unprotected and that it was only ever a moment of weakness. This is just what he apparently told people and what leaked out from that. I have seen it discussed very briefly in a few private chats, but it is also something my sources shared too. That is what he was saying. He couldn't remember ever going unprotected, and he is embarrassed at the mishap if that's the case.

She told him she was pregnant and he didn't believe her. I asked why he didn't believe her, and all I was told was he thought it was another manipulation story she was using to try to get more out of him. He figured he had always been careful as a rule, so he would be in the clear. She had been poised to tell the tabloids for money. She still hadn't managed to find a job in the industry, which at this point you have to ask why, she had very little money and she was pregnant. He was ignoring her. So she was going to sell the story. He got in contact with her and realized she was telling the truth. He gave her money to hush her up. They discussed the situation. They came to the decision they were going to co parent. At this point, he did believe he could have been the father. He had slept with her recently enough it was possible. I was told that meticulous planning went into this pregnancy situation. She wanted it to be used for clout. They did influence the timeline. People have caught on to that. They did want to throw people off. It was all part of the plan. They had a very tight schedule for everything. It was meticulous. And there had been a birth announcement originally planned.

He again went to help her with a career. He went back to trying to promote her. She now had a baby she had to help look after. She didn't even have to threaten his career this time lol. I was told he wanted the baby to be looked after and provided for by both. He didn't hide that from those around him. It was all very carefully put together and planned out. It was all very intentionally done. Even the things that throw people off, it was intentional.

South Korea was all about Natalie. I'm sure everyone knows what is said about them is known. They do know about the stories going around. They're not ignorant. They polished everything to help Natalie's image based on past criticism. She was pregnant then. And her weight loss? A result from wicked morning sickness. She had awful morning sickness at the beginning of her pregnancy. I remember being told she wouldn't eat because it made her sickness so much worse. I was told she was even harder to deal with then. It wasn't ozempic like people speculated. She was already pregnant then. SK was all about promoting her and a bit about their PR relationship to help bring attention. It was part of the plan.

They both got reprimanded for their performance in SK. There was some ignorance that landed them both in hot water. Her for her appearance and him for 'allowing' it and their PDA. They both were told they wouldn't be welcome anytime soon. Which is funny considering her IG post. It's like she didn't want that found out, so she told the public the opposite of what happened. That's my opinion and speculation. I was only told they both got in trouble, why, and what was said.

It is why the London premiere was very different. They both were reeling from the trouble. And she was told there would be no PDA and she got mad. She caused a scene beforehand. I also can only speculate but I do think she wanted people to begin to talk about a pregnancy then. Her choice of outfit, and the way she was posing and making sure the coat was pulled back. She knew it would emphasize the baby bump forming. That's my opinion. She wanted the rumor mill to start flowing then. Again, my opinion.

NYC. Guy Ritchie didn't want her around. She caused so many problems during MOUW and she was completely barred from the filming in Spain. I was told Jerry B also had a hand in that decision. So she would be unable to debut on the red carpet so they had to get creative. They arranged paparazzi to come. I was told they wanted it to look like they were being followed around and like they both were a big deal. It was staged. All of it. All part of the big plan.

The red carpet premiere in NYC. The choice to have no significant others for the actors was deliberate. To be fair and look uniform. Even the interview was pre-planned. He used it as an opportunity to promote her. That was the plan.

The Father's Day post was also part of the plan. It was all promotion. It was the plan. He would make the post, and then she would piggyback off it.

When I say it was meticulous, it was very meticulous. They also had to do things when he was around and had the time. Even if he wasn't filming, he had films he knew that were upcoming that would need work. He had meetings and trainings. He would still have to travel. So things had to be done when he could do it, such as pictures. Such as public sightings. All of their public sightings were part of it. The dinners. Everything. It was like they were trying to run a tight ship and work around a schedule, in my opinion. So keep that in mind when you wonder about timelines.

Everything went to shit when the baby was born. And there is a baby. Regardless of what some may try to push lol.

She would show up when he was at work and bring her baby. She was never invited. I was told in true Natalie fashion, it was disruptive. But people took notice of the baby. Rumors started. That they both heard. Rumors that the baby didn't really resemble him. She stopped showing up. But the damage had been done. His family had also been urging him to be smart and not just take her on her word, especially based on past occurrences with her. There had been quite a few discussions about that from the beginning.

This is where my information gets spotty, and you have to puzzle it together.

He did contest paternity, and I do know that the judge had to get involved. She was told that if she refused, the judge would then rule it was because she would know the answer to the paternity test and that would be the end of it. She was caught between a rock and a hard place.

Now this is where things get quiet.

But this is the reason why nothing further has been mentioned on the pregnancy or baby, regardless of him saying in that interview more would be coming. In that point of time a lot more had been planned to come.

They have been fighting it out in court.

He has since given her a legal correspondence that she had to leave his house and be gone by the time he returned home from work out of the country. She had also been told to leave him alone while he is at work.

She had been living at his residence but I was told seperate from him. They didn't get along, and I was told that was done so there would be minimum conflict and fighting between the two. He allowed her to stay since she had been pregnant and then had the baby there with no steady income of her own. I was told he felt it was his responsibility to help her get back on her feet.

He didn't buy that house for Natalie or because they were together. I asked lol. There was no commitment between them. My opinion is they only occasionally rolled in the hay together, and she ended up getting pregnant around one of the times. I was told he told people he bought the house for his family. He meant his parents, siblings and nephews and nieces to congregate. As well as preparing for the next stage of his life. He did tell people he wanted to settle down within the next few years, and have a family home in place for when he met someone and began that stage, it had nothing to do with Natalie. I double checked.

Natalie is gone. He sent that correspondence and I was told he wouldn't help her with paperwork anymore that would allow her to stay in the UK. She had to leave.

I was told he has no plans right now to ever talk about the baby.

I don't know the results of that paternity case. I asked lol. I was told gag order and I've seen speculation of the case being sealed.

In my opinion, no one will know the paternity for a long time. But based on puzzle pieces, of people that worked with him saying it didn't look like him and her subsequent disappearance whereas before she had no problem being around. The silence when they told the public more was coming. The fact he asked her to leave and she was told to leave him alone. I feel one can read between the lines. The way they act is apparent there are secrets.

My opinion is that the baby should be left alone. It did nothing to anyone. It's here because Natalie wanted it here. I also can't say gender. I know people think it's a female. But the baby was always referred to as her baby or the baby when spoken of in my conversations. Natalie is a single mother. Let her deal with that. It can't be easy.

So while everything in regards to the baby has suddenly quieted down. I personally would hedge my bets on him not being the father based on other factors surrounding.

My opinion is we will never see that baby. She suddenly disappeared after those rumors around his work environment made their rounds. She hasn't proudly shown off her baby online even with the face hidden. She has completely retreated, which is not her usual way of doing things.

This wasn't because of privacy. Their plan feel apart and they didn't complete it.

That is the main course. The rest is just opinions and what I consider minor factors.

She has not had a steady job since her termination from Legendary. I mentioned earlier she got paid for her appearances with Henry and yall went weird with that one. I was not implying she was an escort or he was paying her for sex. Fucking hell everyone lol.

She was being compensated for her time. It was part of the job. There is nothing wrong with that. Plus, she needed the money. It was considered work for her, and so she should get paid.

I can't sit here and tell you she beat Henry. I only know of the one occurrence where she slapped him. If it's happened more times, it was behind closed doors with no witnesses. But she has tried to shove him and has thrown things at him on multiple occasions.

I've asked and never received a clear answer. But why no consequences for her acting violently. I don't know. I can only speculate. Maybe they felt it wouldn't go anywhere. Henry isn't exactly a small man. He's tall and broad. Maybe he felt he wouldn't be believed. Or because of his stature, he felt he could handle it. Again, I dont know. This is just speculation I've made about it.

My opinion is that it is so incredibly sad. No one should have to sit through that. I don't care if you're six foot whatever and 220 LBS of muscle. If someone is acting violently against you, you should be able to to say something. We have a long way to go in order for men being able and comfortable to speak up.

It's very easy to ask why you didn't just leave. You have to live through something similar yourself to understand. Abuse and toxic situations like this do something very weird to our brains. You can look it up. If it's happened long enough, the structure of our brains change. Different areas go in over drive and areas fire off that normally wouldn't. It changes our behavior. We go into some sort of survival mode.

People have noticed, myself included, that he has changed over the recent years. He looked like shit for one, and like he's been drained of life and left a husk. You can tell just by looking at him something is not right. His attitude also changed. He seemed more irritable. He didn't seem like himself any longer. Something was changing in him.

Maybe this was why.

I can't say for certain. Just based off some gossip I was told and piecing other parts together that would possibly explain things. I also had to do some amateur research on brains, abuse and the effects. I went in lol. When I say I wanted to understand, I really meant it. That means taking the time to research and try to put it together.

Again, I can't say for sure this is true. Only they can officially clarify and verify. These conclusions are my own based off my own snooping, digging, analyzing and researching. Take that in how you want.

I believe these two were a business transaction gone horribly wrong. I believe they had a very toxic situation. I believe it was very stupid. I also believe she was the main problem. She threatened him to make him help her climb the stardom ladder. She used and abused him.

He tried much too hard to appease her because he had feared her. In doing that, he allowed an unsafe work environment to crop up. He also did a huge disservice towards himself. In showing her that he would bend to her, taught her it would work. It created a vicious cycle. Of course, she is going to continue to use a weapon she knows works.

He was stomped all over.

They're both not innocent or saints. He allowed a lot of things to occur that never should have.

But I also think it's possible he was subject to things no one ever should be as well.

She must have put too much faith in the NDAs. If you treat people badly enough. And inspire enough dislike, I think you'll be hardpressed to stop their betrayal. Fear does not inspire loyalty.

These are my opinions and conclusions I have drawn. You're free to make your own. I just want to share what I have learned, which this is still a condensed summary but this is the main bulk of it.

I wanted a clearer picture of what was happening. It took time and effort, but I believe I succeeded. But you're free to disagree with me. I won't convince you otherwise if you do. I've already shared what I think and believe. That's enough for me.

Now, let's brace ourselves. We got a taste already of what to expect.

[bellobambino]

'O Sole Mio'

?: After a few glasses of cheap Chianti, Luigi tells you a story. Nothing could have prepared you for its delivery.

1,080w

Author's Note: I don't have any words left after this, all i have is feelings and crying and ... im so gone for him. ive lost my mind. i dont know if this shit makes any sense but i was just about weeping writing it LOL

------------

It was the last golden gasp of summer at Seaside Heights, the kind of evening that feels like a postcard itself. The boardwalk was alive with the smell of fried dough and the sound of distant screaming children on rides powered by questionable engineering. Luigi and I had wedged ourselves into a corner table on the patio at some hole-in-the-wall Italian place.

We had ordered slices and “just a glass” of wine, which inevitably became, “Just bring us the bottle.” By the time I was three pours deep, Luigi had his legs stretched out like he owned the place.

His eyes, espresso-dark and shining under the cheap string lights of the boardwalk, were giving me that look. You know the one. Like he knew how good he looked in his half-buttoned linen shirt.

That’s when he suddenly froze, his head tilting to the side. He pointed upward. The music—some cheesy, dramatic Pavarotti knockoff that these Italian dives play to try and appear authentic. Then he smiled, clapping a hand over his mouth.

“What?” I asked, already laughing at whatever dumb thing he was about to say.

“Oh my God.” He shook his head. “I can’t tell you. No way.”

“Well, now you have to tell me.” I smacked his arm—rock solid.

He paused and sighed. “Okay, but promise me you won’t laugh.” He leaned in with a straight face that had me eagerly anticipating another highly entertaining Mangione story.

“I promise,” I lied.

“Alright.” He looked around, then leaned in conspiratorially. I was melting for this man. Every moment with him felt important, filled with meaning. He could have said anything, and I’d lap it up like a dog. “So,” he started, rubbing his face like he was already regretting this.

“My mom used to play these mix CDs on the stereo at home. Pavarotti, Bocelli, all the classics, right? She’d be cooking, cleaning, just vibing to these… love songs.”

“Sure,” I said. Totally normal so far.

“But this song”—he pointed upwards again to the song playing on the patio speakers—“‘O Sole Mio,’ a total guilty pleasure for her. When it came on, she would lose her mind. Singing, swaying, dancing. And eight-year-old me sat there watching her, thinking, This must be the greatest song in the history of songs. So, Mother’s Day comes around…”

At this point, Luigi paused, biting his lip like he wasn’t sure he should continue. I couldn’t help the smile that possessed my face.

“Oh my God, Lu, what did you do?”

He waved me off, reaching for his wine. “No, nah, I can’t—”

“Finish the story, Luigi.”

“Fine.” He threw his hands up. “I learned the song. Like, the whole song, okay? I watched every Pavarotti performance on YouTube at the time. Memorized the lyrics. Practiced in front of the mirror. And on Mother’s Day, I performed it for her.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did. For her, my family, my cousins, neighbors. I’m pretty sure Pavarotti himself has sung for smaller audiences.”

I lost it. “You did not…” I said, breathless already. The image of little eight-year-old Luigi in my head, filled with love for his mama, singing an Italian love song in complete earnestness, was too hysterical to keep contained.

“I did,” he admitted. The music swelled in the restaurant, hitting that classic over-the-top crescendo, and Luigi—my God, this man—pushed back his chair and stood up.

“And now…” He slapped his hand on his puffed-up chest and lifted his chin.

“Luigi, NO.”

“I will sing it for you.”

And let me tell you, it was terrible.

He was hamming it up like some kind of opera drunk on karaoke night, his voice all over the place but somehow still deeply passionate, like he was singing to save Italy itself. People in the restaurant were staring. I was just as mortified as I was captivated. Tears were streaming down my face. Dying. And he didn’t stop. He didn’t care. He kept going—arms gesturing wildly, every crescendo perfectly wrong—and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

When he hit the final note—“O SOOOOLEEEEEE MIIIIOOOOOOO!”—he threw out his arms in a dramatic flourish, like he was expecting roses to rain down from the sky. I clapped so hard my palms hurt.

When he finished, he bowed. One or two other patrons gave half-hearted claps, probably just impressed by his dedication to the bit. His cheeks and ears were a delicious shade of pink, his smile lighting up his face as he moved his chair closer to me.

“You’re too much, Luigi,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes.

He finally sat down, our knees touching. He leaned towards me, and suddenly I was his only audience. “Do you know what the song means?” His voice was soft, so only I could hear. There was a twinkle in his eye that wasn’t there before.

I shook my head.

“Okay, ‘O Sole Mio’—it means ‘My Sunshine.’ It’s about… someone being the light of your life. Like…” He shifted his weight, trying to find the words. “Like even the sun itself can’t hold a candle to the person you love.”

He ran a hand through his hair, a little embarrassed by the intensity, but too caught up in the moment to stop himself. “It’s like the artist was saying, ‘The world is so much brighter with you in it.’ The guy is completely wrecked over how beautiful life is because of this one person... you know?”

His eyebrows furrowed slightly, gauging if any of this was resonating with me at all. His goofy bravado had melted into something almost painfully genuine and sincere.

This was real for him.

“I do know, Lu,” I said quietly.

He leaned back, taking his wine. He shrugged. “And that’s why I sang it for my mom.” He tried to downplay it, but I saw right through him. “Because she’s always been my sunshine. Always will be.”

My breath caught in my throat at that.

Then, he must have realized he’d gone too far into the serious zone. He snapped back to being playful. “Anyway, I fucking nailed that performance on Mother’s Day, and everyone talked about it for weeks after.”

I don’t know if he realized what he was doing to me. The lights sparkled brighter. The air tasted sweeter. And my heart was warmer. Because he was here. He was insane, but I wouldn't have him any other way.

The song made perfect sense. Life is a gift with you.

~~~

What a beautiful thing is a sunny day.

But another sun, even more beauteous, oh my sweetheart, My own sun, shines from your face This sun, my own sun, Shines from your face; It shines from your face

[thesassypadawan]

Santa Tell Me (A.J. x Button!Reader)

Summary:  It’s Christmas Eve and you except your boyfriend of year to pop the question…again.  However, before he can…you surprise him with a special gift of your own.

Warnings: 18+ (mdni), because there’s sooo much of the fluff with a bit of the smut. Fun from behind (giddy up), misuse of a jolly old elf’s hat, size diff, ho ho hoe lingerie, and… A.J.’s big, fat dick.

Notes:  Happy Holidays, lovelies!  Welcome to track seven of my special holiday mix, Santa Tell Me! ❤️💚

(Merry Christmas, @everydaydreamer! And thank you for making the perfect pic for this! 🎅)

- ‘Santa, tell me if you're really there…  Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here next year…’

- One big hand comes to settle on your hip, squeezing gently.  The other taking your smaller one, lazily lacing and intertwining your fingers together.  Swaying you both slowly back and forth to the familiar, festive music.  Blue eyes locked with yours in the mirror’s reflection; gaze warm, affectionate…loving.

- “Look absolutely flawless, doll,” he mutters.  Voice low and gravelly, rumbling deep in his chest…through your petite frame.  Goosebumps forming on your skin…and not from the nonexistent chill in the air.  “Gorgeous like always, ‘cept it’s missin’ one thing.”

- You knew all too well where the conversation was going.  In the short year you two have been an item, you’ve heard it at least a dozen or so times.  The same sweet, endearing request; accompanied by the same little, velvet box.  That he seems to make appear out of nowhere, just like…

- “Oh, baby,” you sigh, hint of sadness in your words.  Watching A.J. pull it out from his vest pocket, fiddle and roll it with his long digits.  “I know you want to marry me bad, but…”

- Words fall short when he pops the lid open.  Revealing not a ring.  Instead what was easily the most beautiful, breathtaking opal necklace you’ve ever seen.

- “I know, I know…‘we’ll see’,” he chuckles.  Repeating your usual response, while helping you put it on.  Calloused fingertips brushing, lingering for an extra moment or two on the nape of your neck.  “Someday though, it’s gonna be…‘yes’.”

- Slight smile pulling at the corners of your pink tinted lips.  As you admire the way it sparkles in the twinkling light, the fact he remembered the significance of this stone.  At the amount of faith, patience he has in and when it comes to you.  Plus a few other things.  “Yeah…we’ll see.”

- Shrugging, leaning down he places a tender kiss on your cheek…the top of your head.  “Come on, we better get goin’.”  Before straightening up once more, giving a quick tap to your perfect bottom.  “Don’t wanna be too late to the party.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- All evening long, you’re very much an inseparable pair.  Never one without the other, practically glued together at the hip. 

- With you holding onto, pressing into his side.  Peppermint swirled nails occasionally trailing up his spine, gently scratching a certain spot between his shoulder blades.  That has him grunting softly in appreciation…those lean muscles contorting, relaxing beneath your welcomed touch.

- As for him, well…  Hardly a minute passes when he doesn't have an arm wrapped around your waist or a palm resting on the small of your back.  Fingers rubbing, massaging.  Sometimes traveling a bit lower, under the hem of your cocktail dress when he thinks no one is looking…drawing out a tiny, muffled squeak from you each time.

- But on the rare instance when you weren’t attached to your better half.  You could be spotted with the rest of the ladies.  Mingling, being asked, more like grilled, on whether you finally caved…finally gave him the answer he wants to hear and officially join their patchwork family. 

- “We’ll see,” you would reply simply and politely.  Smiling coyly over the rim of your glass, at his turned back from across the room.  Watching as he folded another hand in the guys’ silly card game.  Listening to him echo your own words, undoubtedly given the same question.

- All in all, he whole night went by in what feels like a blur.  Of hearty laughs, variety of decadent treats, one too many cups of good cheer…a few stolen kisses below the mistletoe.  And, soon enough, you find yourself tugging on A.J.’s hand.  Bring him level, whispering in his ear for you to be whisked home.  Where the real party could begin, the best part yet to come…his last gift.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Crashing through the front door, nearly chipping the paint and knocking a picture off the wall.  Tongues tangled, lips meshed together in perfect harmony.  With your digits unabashedly pulling at his belt, fumbling for his fly.  And his slipping beneath the folds of your skirt; seeking out that string of mysterious, elusive lace felt during his earlier escapades.

- “Don’t be stingy, sweetheart,” he murmurs between heated kisses.  Hand inching ever higher, palm cupping and kneading a sweet cheek.  “It’s already after midnight.”  Thumb nonchalantly hooking, fiddling with the delicate fabric teasingly…letting it snap.  “Wanna open my present.”

- Jumping slightly, a squeal mixed with an excited giggle bubble up from your throat.  “Mmmh, all right.”   All the while rubbing, massaging that delectable bulge; enticing it to grow, strain the front of his trousers.  “Since you’ve been such a good boy this year.”  Giving it one last gentle squeeze, earning one more grunt.  Before…

- Gone for only a hot minute or two, you return to find him lounging naked on the couch.  Arms draped over the back lazily, long legs spread casually.  Santa hat perched perfectly, barely covering his candy cane and sack of goodies.  “That’s certainly a look, J.”

- Smirking, rising to his feet.  He keeps the jolly old elf’s cap securely in place as he saunters over, comes to meet you in front of the panoramic window.  Fingertips tangling, playing with the ribbon wound and tied perfectly around…  “Says the woman wearin’ paper like a dress.”

- Anticipating the inevitable sassy quip that would undoubtedly come, he acts quickly and smoothly.  “Not that I’m complain’.”  Bending, burying his face into the crook of your neck.  Lavishing your sugar cookie scented skin in love bites and nips.  “Or grateful.”

-As he tears away, takes his time. Savoring, slowly and carefully unwrapping.  “Musta been real good.”  Revealing the sexy, little ho-ho-hoe number that lay beneath.  “To deserve somethin’ this sweet…”

- Skillfully and in a single, fluid motion.  A.J. whirls, twirls you to the music that plays softly in the background.  “…exquisite…”  Pushing you against the cool glass.  Pinning and holding, encompassing completely with his larger frame. Stocking hat left forgotten on the floor, laying amongst the shreds of discarded paper.  “…wonderful like ya.”

- Eyes hungrily sweep and take in your red, tulle clad form.  Meeting, locking with yours in the reflective surface.  “Now, on them tip-toes, baby doll…”  Palm smoothing down your semi- clothed back, following the intricate details and patterns of the bustier.  Settling on your hip, tugging on them a bit too roughly.  “…lemme try out my new toy.”

- Eagerly you ease, precariously balance on them.  Sparks of anticipation bursting, bemused smile crossing your face.  Watching him still have to slouch, crouch slightly.  To align himself with your aching entrance.  “Sure you’re not too big for this one?”

- Laying tender, adoring kisses along your spine.  His free hand finds, gropes a pert breast.  “Nah, not too big.”  Thumb swirls, fingertips rolls and pinches your pebbled bud.  Fat tip prods, teases at your soaked folds core.  “Always liked my playthings to be a little on the small…”  Surging forward, steadily stretching.  Forcing your tight cunny to open with his thick cock.  “Fuck…side.”

- Moaning, whimpering…nails scramble, scratch lightly.  Palms flatten, brace against the steamed-up glass.  While he thrusts, pounds into you unbridled and wild.  Toned chest pressed to, resting his full weight onto you.  A.J. looms above, grunting and groaning in your ear each time he bottoms out.  Increasing his pace with every powerful drive.

- “So…shit…”  Bullying and hitting, bruising your cervix over and over.  “Lemme get…”  The heat rises, pools in the pit of your stomach.  “Lemme get this straight…”  Peak approaching swiftly, gummy walls fluttering and burning.  “You’ll become the Clause Man’s wife before m-mine?”

- Body tenses, goes ridged.  Starts to shake from all the overwhelming pleasure that courses through.  “Who…who said that wasn’t you…”  You can feel him twitching and throbbing.  Shuddering as he draws closer to his own release, mind-numbing orgasm.  “That you’re not San-San…”

- Slamming hard, you both cry out in bliss.  You clamping and clenching, gushing all over him.  While he paints your insides a sticky, snowy white; stuffing your little stocking nice and full.

- Panting, knees shaking.  He helps you back down onto your feet.  Immediately wrapping, swallowing up your unsteady form in his strong arms.  Laughing happily and joyfully.  Peppering the top of your crown in frantic, loving kisses.  All because you finally agreed.  Said the one thing he’s been waiting to hear since he first presented you with that little, velvet box.  “Then I guess ya better call me Santa… Mrs. Clause.”

- Bursting out into a fit of giggles, sporting an elated grin.  You tilt your head back, teasing playfully…finally getting in a smart remark.  “So, Santa…tell me what else you want?”

- “Yeah, actually.”  Mirroring your smile, he starts to lazily rock…buck and rut again.  “I could think of one thing or two.  Maybe even three.” 

- Santa, tell me if he really cares…  'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here next year…’

Tag List: @espinathena-17, @myheartwillgoon2022, @laylaplease, @princessswifie, @kenobiskywalker16, @loverforoldermen, @lotte08, @rafeswifeyy2, @exsamlockwood-kate, @sythethecarrot, @decaffeinatedunicorn, @fuckmyskywalker, @everydaydreamer, @jediavengers, @anisangeldust, @erosmutt, @xhunnybeeex, @vaderswifey, @anakinstwinklebunny

@hearts4sammonroe, @pitas-star, @sythethecarrot, @naberriess, @steven-grants-world, @valyna27, @elcaballerodragon, @yayyy5678, @anakinsrilgirlfriend, @padme-urlove,  @brattyyybbg, @mrschr1stensen, @rosie-chan92, @beresfordsgirl, @darthdaddi, @icosmiclou, @whoisgiinaa, @kentaviax, @arcj

[almosthonest]

Target On Our Backs

this one is a more funny one i promise. this is something else @sopaprimordialy and i talked about and gave me a little prompt idea so here you go! :)

─────────────── ✦ ───────────────

Reckless. Absolutely reckless. Peart couldn't believe this. After what they had just gone through with the Turnbulls ACs, there's another gang that's got a hit out on them. They were lucky that they got away the other time. The Furies might be a totally different case. They were totally capable of taking their turf. They had no plan, and they barely had defense. What were they going to do.

Peart was absolutely pissed. He was tired of constantly having a target on his back. The Rogues are now back on their own turf. He's tired, his drumsticks broken, the wound that he covered with the bandage was bleeding again and he has to cover it with a new one after fighting another gang off. He's had it. And all Luther could do was laugh on his face, which irritated him so much more. So much, that he pushed him up against a wall.

"You think that's fuckin' funny? Huh?" Peart growled, "We've got another target on our backs and you think this is a fuckin' game!"

"That's how games work, Peart. You win some, you lose some, and right now, we've won," Luther said back, pushing Peart off of him.

"Look, they had our stuff, if Luther hadn't set that fire──"

Cropsy. Always willing to defend Luther, even if it got him in extreme trouble. He didn't understand it. It was like some sort of Stockholm Syndrome. But Peart knew one thing, Cropsy was paranoid. So why wasn't he paranoid about this?

"I do not wanna hear what you have to say in defense of him right now, Cropsy!" Peart told him.

"Well, you're gonna hear it, and you're gonna hear it good," Cropsy said.

"I don't have to listen to shit!" Peart yelled back.

Peart had started to walk away. Cropsy wouldn't let him. He grabbed onto his wrist, pulling him back. "Luther had to do it, otherwise we would've been fucked," Cropsy told him.

"We're already fucked, man!" Peart replied back, his voice still raised, "there are other gangs going to try and ambush us! If that's not fucked, I don't know what is! I would've rather dealt with the consequences."

"Well maybe if you would've been quicker──"

Peart looked at him. He stepped closer, their foreheads almost touching. Hazel eyes are sharp like daggers. If looks could kill, it would've been that one, and Cropsy would've already been on the floor.

"The fuck did you just say to me?"

"You heard what I said," Cropsy said back.

The other gang members are watching the argument go down. They're staring in awe, and a little bit uncomfortable. They don't know what road this was about to go, but they had a feeling it was either going to the fist fighting or an alternative route. Either way, they didn't want either happening.

"Uh ... Should we break this up This seems ... A little gay." One of the other gang members asked.

A couple other gang members shrugged. They didn't know what to do, and frankly, they didn't want to get into it. But that one gang member couldn't stand to see it any more of it. In fact, he stood up from where he was sitting.

"Alright, alright, guys, I think that's enou──"

Smack!

Down goes the tagger. Peart hit him right in his nose with one of the drumsticks that he was holding. Cropsy is in shock. He ignored it.

"Why don't you mind your fuckin' business, pal?" Peart growled.

"Hey!"

Peart turned. It's Luther again. He's pissed. "Do that again to one of them and I will wrap my hands around your neck."

"Oh bull-fuckin'-shit, man!" Peart yelled back, "the only person you'd probably do that to is Cropsy if he questioned your tactics."

"You wanna try me?" Luther asked.

Peart raised his brows in amusement. A small smirk appeared on his face. "You just wanna wrap your hands around someone's neck so bad," he said to him, "you into that, Luther?"

Luther scrunched up his nose. "What are you implying?"

"Nothing!" Peart answered, "you just got a real bad habit of pinnin' me and Cropsy up against walls."

"You're fuckin' sick, man!" Luther growled, before walking past Peart, nudging his shoulder as he passed by. He shut the room door, hard. Yeah, that ruffled some feathers.

Peart chuckled. "Knew that would get him to shut the fuck up," he mumbled, before walking away from Cropsy.

[abusivelittlebunny]

I want you to know I read your blog like the morning papers. I read your filthy tags and sip my tea while doing so. An excellent morning read.

Funny that because I also am sipping on my coffee as I scroll through content and reblog with my nasty input. Cheers for a horny breakfast ☕ idk what you're interested in most particularly but here you go anon

Continuing the previous ficlet...

Warning for A/B/O & mpreg

"I gotta pay you back somehow," Charles chuckled into the phone instead of starting with a normal 'Hi' or 'Good morning'; Max preferred things straight to the point, Charles knew by now.

"Read the news. It worked that well, huh?" Max snorted, audibly sipping on something; he must be struggling with the no caffeine for the baby rule.

"He was," Charles bit his lip to suppress his giggle, rolling around on his king sized bed like a smitten teenager, his bruised body aching all over in the most delicious way possible, "just wonderful last night. God, he hasn't fucked me this rough since Vegas."

"Hm, you're a freak as per usual," he could hear Max's eyeroll through the phone almost. "Hope you're not planning on waltzing around today showing off a blackeye and a busted lip."

"He knows better than to leave such obvious marks. Well, for now at least." Charles traced the prints left on his pale thighs; galaxies of pink and purple from the belt and Carlos' strong hands. His lips curled into a too wide Cheshire cat grin. "No guarantee what he will do when he finds out the little surprise I have in store for him."

Max was quiet for a minute, but Charles could hear him shift and sigh, the weight of his babybump making it harder to get up from a sitting position. "Please tell me you didn't do something petty like key his car or take videos of last night with him beating the shit out of you for blackmail purposes. I can see a lot of speculations already about the belt; you better stay indoors if you don't want your soon to be husband to get publicly stoned by your fans."

Charles' hand caressed up from his thigh to his belly, rubbing gentle circles into his skin while he listened to Max. Instead of answering directly he hummed a coy question of his own.

"I really liked that little onesie you got from Checo. The baby blue one with the white stripes and cats. What brand was it?"

A pause and then Max spoke carefully, "I'm not sure I got a ton of baby clothes and stuff gifted to me in the last few weeks, I gotta check. Why?"

"Do you already know what you got? If the baby is a girl or a boy I mean."

"Charles, what are you on?" Max sounded irritated now, and Charles could hear him open up the fridge, no doubt looking for a sweet treat to make his overly hormonal mind calm down. Charles gifted him a whole freezerful of ice cream when Max first broke the news to the press; Max at first rolled his eyes at it but now he was munching on Charles' gift every day, his hips and tits growing even more plush as he entered the seventh month. "You know my stupid fucking gender reveal thing is not due until a month, you got fucking invited to it."

"I know, I know, just wondering. You can really tell the gender of the baby early these days. I admire that patience of yours." Charles traced his teeth with his tongue, unable to keep the grin from showing in his voice. "I couldn't wait to learn mine was a boy."

A clatter, a bang, and utter silence followed on the line. Charles hasn't told anyone yet, only received the news two days ago himself by his doctor doing the ultrasound. A strong healthy boy has been growing in Charles for the last twelve weeks.

"I just wanted to know, you know, that onesie was so cute I really envy the-,"

"Charles." Max cut his giggly rambling off with a strained voice, clearly trying to compose himself from the shock. "Don't tell me you-, you have to be kidding, mate."

"I told you, didn't I? One way or another, Carlos would have no other choice but me." Charles rolled out of bed and watched himself twirl in the wall length mirror. His belly was still completely flat, he was barely in the third month after all but he pushed his hips out and imagined how it will look stretching with his baby. He knew he could pull off a stylish pregnancy look, not get so soft and careless about it like Max. "He was always going to be the father of my children, and his transfer to Williams was just an unforseen bump in the road but nothing that could take his role away from me as my future husband."

"Does he-, oh my fucking God, Charles, how did you... Charles. What did you do?" Max wanted to sound stern but his voice was shaking a bit.

It was sweet of him to be concerned for his friend's career, he knew he'd be due in the middle of racing season, making him unable to compete. Max has already confirmed he'd compete in the second half of the season, basically robbing himself of another championship, but he told Charles how he didn't plan for his pregnancy at all either. He still didn't say who the father was, and Charles doubted he knew really.

Between Daniel, Checo, Fernando, Horner, and whoever else has found their way between Max's thick thighs, the babydaddy would remain a mystery, Charles mused.

Not that he was overly judgemental or Max giving up his cunt to any alpha that was into his bossy bratty omega ways, he admired it a bit actually for enjoying sex in such a carefree manner after he got enough championships under his belt that his daddy could no longer monitor his every waking move.

Besides, it meant he was in no danger of losing Carlos to him, since Max indulged in so many options. At first he was madly jealous, knowing Carlos had a very intimate history with Max, had proposed to him before too before Max's father shot the entire thing down. But Max reassured him they were just young and dumb, and Carlos left Redbull on his own volition not because Jos forbid him from ever seeing his son again.

They remained good although more distant friends, that's all. Just how Charles preferred it. So of course he'd be concerned and know that Carlos had zero clue about the baby.

"I stopped taking birth control about seven months ago, you remember? I got a doctor to sign off on it for performance's sake. So Carlos had to switch to condoms, and well-,"

"Don't tell me you fucking fished the condoms out of the bin, I swear-," Max groaned on the other line and Charles gave an offended squeak.

"Excuse you, I'd never do something so low, come on," Charles scoffed and waltzed over to his own kitchen for a sweet treat for himself, enjoying the soreness of his body with every step. "I just took a needle and pierced through the whole batch."

Max choked on the other side. He was coughing violently on his ice cream as Charles rattled on.

"I know, I know, it seems a bit much, but you know we were gonna have babies anyway, he knew I wanted some from the beginning, this is just a pleasant early surprise for him, you know? Just because he's in Williams now I can't let him think of other omegas as potential endgame, maybe even kick up our engagement." Charles scoffed opening a caramel fudge flavored tub. "Besides, you don't know how annoying it was, waiting for the birth control's effect to clear out of my system. He was giving it to me raw without knowing and I didn't get pregnant for weeks, it was fucking awful, not seeing the two lines. You never took birth control, did you? I know your dad was very strict on eliminating any performance reducing stuff."

Max was still wheezing softly, not saying a word. Charles felt a pang of irritation, thinking Max was judging him for what he has done. As if he had some moral highground, jumping from knot to knot for his satisfaction, not knowing who his babydaddy might be.

"Listen, I know you don't exactly approve, but still, we're friends aren't we? You're like my best friend, Maxy, you know I didn't do it maliciously. Carlos loves me. He will be delighted, I know. A bit mad at first, if he realizes the truth though, so please. Don't tell him, okay? This has to stay between us."

Max was quiet for a minute, then two before letting out a shaky sigh. "When will you tell him?"

"Not sure. Maybe after the wedding? But if he keeps pushing out the date I gotta tell him sooner. But I want it to be a public reveal. Make sure the fans see how happy and surprised he is; so they can see the wedding isn't happening because he knocked me up. I don't want them to think I forced his hand."

Max was silent on the other end of the line and Charles itched to know what he was thinking about. Sure, him and Carlos have been friends since childhood but their teen romance ended long ago, surely Max couldn't be jealous. He spent more time with Charles after all, barely ever interacting publicly with Carlos.

"Max, stop fucking judging me. You should be happy for me." Charles seethed on top of his kitchen counter, eyeing the clock. Carlos has been gone since before he woke up, but he should be back for dinner. He swallowed and took a gentler tone, "You know how much I wanted this. And now we'll be pushing our strollers side by side, and have little play dates with our kids together, go shopping, select kindergartens and everything. You won't be alone in raising your kid."

He hoped he didn't come across as too pitying, but still, Charles was the one between the two of them with a definite babydaddy.

"I know you've been having a tough time fitting in in Monaco since you moved here but I can help you with everything now while we're taking a break for our babies. It will be fun, I promise! It will be almost like they're siblings!"

Max was somehow even more silent on the other end of the line and Charles bit the inside of his cheek. He knew Max would come around, he just needed to settle his thoughts about the matter.

Charles felt a little insensitive; he didn't think about it until now but their wedding with Carlos would happen soon after Max's gender reveal party. And if he told the media about his own pregnancy right around the time Max gave birth, he'd overshadow him again. But maybe that was a good thing, Charles reassured himself. Max hated the headlines speculating about the father of his child.

"It will all work out, I promise. This will just strengthen our friendship and you won't even notice not having the father around, me and Carlos will be with you always! It will be so fun to raise them together and share their cute little clothes and-"

"I gotta go." Max hastily said, and Chsrles could hear the door of Max's bathroom open in the distance before he hung up.

Oh.

Charles mused to himself that maybe Max isn't as lonely as he thought. Of course all the alphas he was with would've been happy to step up as the father of his kid, but Charles didn't think Max was pulling towards anyone in particular in that regard.

Anyway, he was happy to know Max wasn't alone now. Maybe they could go out together baby clothes shopping once Max is calmer, just Charles, Carlos, Max, and his chosen alpha.

"Who was that?"

Max swallowed thickly and dropped his phone onto the counter, scoffing without answering the question, taking his ice cream as he walked back to the bedroom.

"Are you angry at me now?"

Max again didn't answer, just stood in front of the balcony and let the gentle late afternoon breeze wash over him.

A sigh behind him and then the tap-tap of wet footsteps approaching before a strong, tan, hairy pair of arms wrapped around him. Max grimaced at the feeling of cold moisture against his still warm body as he got enveloped in a gentle hug from behind.

"Not at you." Max finally sighed as he adoring kisses were pressed into the side of his neck, the stubble tickling his tender skin when his face was turned manually so he could receive some more kisses on his plump pouting mouth.

"Was that Daniel again? Or Horner? God, that pestering idiot won't let you breathe for a second." Max's robe was easily pulled down his shoulders as kisses rained down on him. They fucked three rounds already but that didn't seem enough to satisfy the alpha. "If the baby really is his, he'll make your life even more miserable."

"No." Max simply said, swallowing before putting hid treat on the bedside table.

"Yeah, I won't let him annoy you any longer-,"

"No, I mean the baby is not his." Max sighed, pushing the strong alpha body off of himself and moving back onto the bed. The alpha scoffed but followed, his mouth glued to Max's soft skin he loved so much; he's been more eager since the pregnancy started to show, instinctively attracted to the fertile omega beneath him. Max had a hard time peeling the man off of him now that he could fuck him raw as much as he wanted. Little did he know.

"You weren't so sure until now. If he does end up being-,"

"Horner is not the one walking around with busted condoms." Max snapped, eyes welling up with tears as he watched the alpha's brows furrow above him. "It's you, Carlos."

[ikkyfics]

hii! i was hoping you would do a pt 2 to “distraction”? it was the cutest fix I’ve read and need more! 💌♥️

Attention

Remus Lupin x f!reader

Summary: "I really don't know how I'm going to get over this," you teased, a smile forming even before you finished the sentence. "Fresh flowers and a book? You're spoiling me, Remus." He laughed, a low, almost contained sound, but you noticed how his shoulders relaxed, as if he were relieved by your reaction. "Well, I'd say you deserve this and more."

Warnings: fluffy fluffy fluffy

A/N: dear, I hope you like it <333 and thank you very much, I'm VERY happy to know that you liked Distraction

Masterlist - Distraction

The library was emptier than usual when you returned a few days later. The silence seemed even deeper, as if the space knew how to keep secrets. You sat at one of the tables near the window, where the late afternoon light created soft patterns on the books and scrolls spread out before you.

Trying to focus on your reading, you noticed your mind wandering constantly to that moment a few days ago. The conversation, the soft touch of his fingers... It was as if every detail had been engraved in your memory, repeating itself in a sweet, endless cycle.

You were distracted when you heard the sound of soft footsteps. Looking up, you found Remus standing beside you, holding a small book in his hands. He had that signature smile—small but full of meaning—and the way he looked at you made your heart race.

"I knew I'd find you here," he said, pulling out a chair and sitting without waiting for an invitation, as if the seat beside you were his by right.

"And what makes you think that?" you asked, trying to sound casual, but feeling the warmth rise to your face.

He placed the book on the table—a worn, old copy—and shrugged. "Intuition, maybe. Or maybe because you seem to like escaping here as much as I do."

You smiled slightly, unable to hide the satisfaction his words brought. "And what brings you here today, Lupin? Another task to help someone?"

"Actually, I came to find you."

The words were simple, but the carefree way he said them made them carry an unexpected weight. You blinked, surprised, feeling your heart race. "Find me?"

"Yes." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. His voice was calm, but his eyes seemed almost radiant as they watched you. "I have something for you."

Before you could ask what it was, Remus reached into the inside pocket of his coat. He pulled out a small bundle of fresh flowers, their delicate petals still covered in droplets of dew. The soft scent reached you before he even placed them on the table. They were simple flowers—daisies, lavender, and a few bellflowers—but their combination seemed almost poetic. You stared at the gift for a moment, not quite sure what to say.

"You've been... picking flowers?" The question came out hesitantly, almost as if you feared you'd spoil the moment with words. Your eyes went from the small bouquet to his face, and the expression you found there was one of such genuine care that it made your heart skip a beat.

"Something like that," he replied with a small smile. His voice was soft, but you noticed an almost mischievous tone hidden in it. "I passed by the garden earlier and thought you might like them. Actually, I thought they'd suit you."

You felt the heat rise to your face, and your fingers touched the bundle of flowers carefully, as if they were something too precious to be treated carelessly. "Remus, this is..." You paused, searching for the right words. "Very sweet. Thank you."

He tilted his head slightly, his eyes fixed on you. "You deserve sweet things," he said, almost as if it were a confession. There was a vulnerability in his tone that made your heart tighten.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The silence that settled wasn't uncomfortable but instead laden with something almost tangible. The light from the window illuminated his face in a way that highlighted the small freckles scattered across his cheeks, and you found yourself thinking about how at ease he seemed here, in your presence.

"I hope this isn’t weird," he suddenly said, breaking the silence. His hand slid across the table, his fingers stopping just near yours, but not touching them. "I mean, I..." He ran a hand through his hair, a gesture you recognized as something he did when he was nervous. "I just want you to know there’s no obligation to... like this or..."

You smiled, cutting him off before he could lose himself in apologies. "It’s not weird," you said, your voice softer than you'd expected. Your fingers moved almost instinctively, lightly brushing against his. It was a small, almost imperceptible gesture, but you felt as if something had shifted in the air around you. "It’s... kind. You’re always so kind, Remus."

He smiled, and there was something different in that smile—a warmth that seemed to reach his eyes. "It’s hard not to be with you," he replied, his voice almost a whisper.

Your heart seemed to be beating too fast. You weren’t sure what to say, but you didn’t want that moment to end. There was something in the way he looked at you—so intense, so full of something you couldn’t name—that made the world around you seem to disappear.

"You’re amazing, you know?" he said, after a moment. His fingers brushed against yours once more, this time a little more deliberately. It was a touch so light it might have gone unnoticed, but you felt as though he had left a mark there.

You opened your mouth to reply, but the librarian cleared her throat from afar, a silent reminder that you weren’t as alone as the moment had made it seem. You pulled away slightly, but couldn’t help a small smile.

Remus also pulled back, although his eyes were still fixed on yours. He picked up the book he had brought earlier—a Herbology textbook that seemed as well cared for as anything else he touched—and placed it on the table. "I thought this might help with your essay," he said, his tone returning to being slightly playful.

"I really don't know how I'm going to get over this," you teased, a smile forming even before you finished the sentence. "Fresh flowers and a book? You're spoiling me, Remus."

He laughed, a low, almost contained sound, but you noticed how his shoulders relaxed, as if he were relieved by your reaction. "Well, I'd say you deserve this and more," he said, his voice tinged with something that felt half playful, half serious. "But I'm willing to take the blame if this spoils you for the rest of the world."

You shook your head, feigning an exaggerated sigh. "I don't know if I can handle so many expectations." But your eyes sparkled, and it was clear neither of you wanted that moment to end.

Remus adjusted the book on the table, his fingers lingering a little longer than necessary on the pages. He seemed to be rehearsing something, and you felt the shift in the atmosphere even before he spoke. When he raised his eyes, there was something vulnerable in the way he looked at you—a mix of determination and nervousness that made your heart tighten in your chest.

"Do you think..." He stopped, clearing his throat. "I mean, if you don't have plans..." His hand ran through his hair again, messing it up even more. "Would you like to go out with me?"

You blinked, surprised by the sudden question. "Go out with you?" Your voice came out louder than you intended, and you almost regretted speaking before he finished.

"Yes." He leaned forward, his face closer to yours than before. The intensity in his eyes was almost unsettling, but there was something so genuine in the way he looked at you that the nervousness began to fade. "A real date. Just the two of us. Something outside the library, away from essays and crowded hallways."

For a moment, you couldn’t say anything. The request was so simple, so sincere, but it was filled with a quiet hope that seemed to fill the space between you. The librarian cleared her throat again, but this time neither of you reacted.

"I... would love to," you finally said, and your voice sounded softer than usual. You saw the tension leave his shoulders, and the smile that formed on his lips made something inside you melt.

"Great," he replied, a little hurriedly, as if wanting to make sure there was no going back now. "We can... I can think of something. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated, but I want it to be special. I mean, for you."

"Remus," you interrupted him, a laugh escaping before you could contain it. "You just brought me fresh flowers and a book. I don't think you need to worry about impressing me."

"Maybe I like trying," he retorted, and the slightly teasing tone made the heat rise to your face again. "Besides, it's never bad to be sure."

You smiled, feeling your heart race as your fingers moved again, briefly touching his. He looked down at the spot where your hands nearly met, then returned his gaze to you, the smile on his lips now softer, but no less radiant.

"Do you have any idea how nervous you make me?" he asked, and the sincerity in his voice was almost unsettling.

"I don't know," you replied, leaning slightly forward. "Do you have any idea how curious you make me?"

The question hung between you, filled with something undefined, but undeniably sweet. Remus laughed, a low sound that seemed to warm the air around you. "I think we can solve that on our date," he said, confidence returning to his tone, though still with a hint of shyness.

Before you could respond, the librarian appeared beside the table, an eyebrow raised and her lips pursed in a silent warning. "Are you two sure this is the best place for... such lively conversations?" she asked, but her tone was more of impatience than true irritation.

Remus smiled lightly, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I promise we’ll finish in five minutes, Mrs. Pince."

She huffed but walked away, and you held back a laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. "Do you really think you'll keep that promise?" you whispered.

"Probably not," he admitted, his eyes shining with amusement. "But sometimes it's nice to break the rules. Especially for good reasons."

You didn’t respond, but the smile you gave him was enough to say everything. And as he arranged the book and you carefully held the flowers, there was a sense that something, finally, had changed between you two—something neither of you wanted to go back to being like before.

[eww-y-tho]

I updated my 'Everything I Have Ever Shipped' post on my profile (the pinned one) to include the story of the sneaky way that my sister trolled me while binging Arcane because it's a really funny story and not a lot of people have read my post and I think it deserves to be put to light becuz wtf.

So first of all, when my sister pitched the idea of binging Arcane in the car while visiting her, I was hesitant at first because LoL is actually cancer, but she convinced me (for her it was going to be a rewatch). I had a peripheral understanding and knowledge of the show. Like I knew Jinx, I knew that there was a lesbian sex scene, and I knew about jayvik, but nothing in detail.

In the car, she goes into specific detail about how she did not like Jayce. Because "all the problems come from him," apparently. I was fishy on Jayce based on her opinions of the character and really tried to see her perspective.

And I will be honest, I did not like him s1 ep4-9, and I really took Jayce and Mel's character arcs at face value. He was a good man with good intentions, but the "Jezebel" character in Mel would take him away from his goal, and he would become a narcissistic prick. But I also didn't hate him. He was a good character and none of his actions seemed too dickish (except the "you didn’t say they were from the undercity" line.)

I was pleasantly surprised by season 2, however, and I started to see what she was talking about was misguided at the same time.

The thing is, I never felt upset at Jayce for s2 act 1 & 2 and trusted that he had a good reason, and he became much more sympathetic in my eyes after ep7. AND THEN I started becoming a jayvik truther in ep8 because of the Mel to Viktor transition in the cave (like wtf), and the homoerotic fight scene, and I did a little soul search deep dive into jayvik.

I completely flipped my opinions on Jayce and she was deeply upset and it was hilarious because at the end of ep7 I said "I still don't get why you hate Jayce" and she like actually sighed and was disappointed.

I remember a specific moment where she went: "EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO VIKTOR IS JAYCE'S FAULT, VIKTOR TOLD HIM TO DESTROY THE HEXCORE, BUT DID HE LISTEN? NO! IF HE ACTUALLY LISTENED TO VIKTOR FOR ONCE, NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED!" And then I was like, "THAT'S NOT HOW A STORY WORKS, THO! HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN? HE JUST WANTED TO SAVE HIS PARTNER'S LIFE!"

I would also like to point out that I was wondering who the mage guy was that saved Jayce the entire series. It was in the back of my mind for the entire time, and I was really confused about him because I didn't see a character that could really qualify for his power set.

So while I was watching ep7 crying my eyes out becuz of timebomb, memeing with 'MEANWHILE...' spongebob references every time they cut to Jayce, having my mind go a million miles an hour with theorizing and like having a breakdown, I was just in a mentally strange place.

So when the mage showed up in the "I won't fail" scene... I saw the slow zoom in, the power set involved with the hexcore blob, and all the little tiny hints, and I screamed out loud, "IS THAT VIKTOR!?!"

... And she looks me dead in the eye and says "no" in the most monotone voice I have ever heard from her.

And I believed her so much at that point that I didn't even question it. So then episode 9 comes along, and Viktor is revealed to be the plot twist. I was so pissed because I was right the entire time, and SHE made me believe that I didn't understand the story. She fucking CACKLED.

I love her, but that was a betrayal, man.

Once Jayce said, "All I want is my partner back," I was a complete jayvik shipper, and recently, she's changed her tune to Jayce after I completely bombarded her with pro-Jayce propaganda, so that's better, at least, lol.

[pisshandkerchief]

Okay tysm I know nothing about this stuff but I’d love to hear about it. I feel like because the movie was really unengaged with the actual politics in folk music at the time and it made it really unclear how much Bob Dylan himself was engaged in the politics so I’m wondering 1 how political he was in the first place and 2 if his political engagement changed when he moved away from folk music because they definitely acted like playing electric guitar meant not doing political stuff anymore but also acted like he just liked the music more/ wanted to be disruptive so did his politics change? Was the story of the movie really ‘Bob Dylan stops caring about civil rights because he gets into the kinks yay’ because that definitely doesn’t sound right but all the politics were so vague and surface level that the political side of people’s motivations felt really unclear

rubs my hands together in a delighted fashion. ok this is a question I can actually somewhat answer for you so let's get into it.

No, his politics didn't change because he moved away from folk music. there's two things it's important for you to know: one, Bob Dylan didn't start with folk music. He was into early rock and rhythm and blues first. this guy wasn't listening to Woody Guthrie from day one, he was listening to Elvis and Muddy Waters and Buddy Holly and Little Richard and Lead Belly. He only came to folk music later, which people at the time tended to forget about. Rock was his true passion at the start. Two, Bob Dylan never identified himself as a political song writer. He always said he didn't write about politics, he wrote about his own core values and the things he saw in the world. I'm watching a documentary about him rn called No Direction Home, and in it he says something along the lines of "you can care about a group of people without making it a political thing". I love his music and it's influenced me a lot, and I think he's a fascinating person, but I'm not a huge fan of Bob Dylan's politics myself, because I think he's always been a bit wishy-washy about what he actually believes. I understand why people were mad at the time, because he wrote all these moving songs about the civil rights movement and then when confronted about them later he always hedged and claimed he wasn't trying to be political even though at the time he clearly was. I think he's more of a liberal than a true leftist. There were real leftists in the folk revival, and they were people like Phil Ochs. In the end Bob really was in it because he wanted to be famous. I think he believed deeply in the civil rights movement because he admired a lot of black artists and truly thought that racism was nonsensical, but beyond the surface level he wasn't an activist and he never tried to present himself as one, he had that role forced upon him by people who saw him as one and wanted him to be the face of a generation and he was always very opposed to that idea, and eventually it made him cynical. I suppose his political engagement did change when he moved away from folk, because he did stop writing as many overtly political songs, but not immediately and not as drastically as people made it out to be. Bob Dylan is a complicated person who a lot of people tried to box into being one thing or the other and in the end all he really wanted was to get out of those boxes. It's difficult to know what was going on in his head because for years he was a very private person who very intentionally worked to make sure nobody knew his true thoughts on anything.

To put it simply, yes, when he went electric he stopped writing music that people could see as overtly political. But I don't think his beliefs changed. I think it's an early case of people having a parasocial relationship with their favorite celebrity and painting him as more leftist than he really was. He wasn't a political activist, he was a performer. And he never pretended to be anything else.

[musical-chick-13]

"It's clear the creator ships this so much, this dynamic is their otp!!!1!"

The creator in question: *Has confirmed that one of these characters is aroace and doesn't experience any kind of attraction to anyone*

[quasi-normalcy]

.

[aerithisms]

i still have so many questions about the ff7 remake story. why did aerith even have knowledge of the future in remake to begin with? from a watsonion perspective, why does she lose that knowledge after the end of remake when sephiroth doesn't? (i'm fully aware the doylist reason is that having a character who knows the future would totally break the plot but i'm still curious if there's more to what they were doing with aerith's remake character or if this is it). what was her motivation to encourage the party to fight the whispers in the original game when she knew the party would defeat sephiroth in the end if events followed fate? was it simply that she wanted the chance to live? because that makes me want to lie down and cry!!!!

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ me & my husband ]❜

ft. the salesman (gong ji-cheol) x f! reader — squid game

╰₊✧ you don’t need your husband to be perfect, you just want him to be honest┊3.3k words

contains: written before s2 came out!! probably ooc or inaccurate, angst with spots of fluff & a bittersweet ending? reader’s pov mostly, suspicions of cheating, lack of communication, mentioned age gap, random inaccurate lore for the salesman

➤ author's note: yeah, i saw the sudden uptick in notes on that gong yoo post i made and realized season 2 came out which i completely forgot about. i intend to watch it soon as possible and write fics for it as well as (probably) add new characters to my writing list, but for now, please be content with this!!

₊˚ʚ 💌₊˚✧ this fic was heavily inspired by “emotionally intoxicated” by aurasaurora!

gong ji-cheol is the poster image for the ideal husband. he’s always been like that from the moment you met him, and you can’t help but feel like you’re the luckiest woman in the world when he calls himself yours. he’s tall and handsome, someone who catches everyone’s eye despite his only being focused on you. he’s wealthy and hard-working, able to call a luxurious mansion your home, and willing to buy you anything your heart desires as long as you ask for it. he spoils you rotten with that money, gifting you expensive things even if you didn’t ask if it reminded him of you. he’s doting, always sure to smother you in affection with kisses and cuddles whenever together to make it known how much he adores you. the sex is great too, he makes you feel wanted and desirable without ever leaving you unsatisfied. 

most importantly though, you love him, and he loves you. the last two years of marriage have been so blissful, and there isn’t a single thing you would change.

at least that’s what you believe most of the time.

you like to think you know a lot about him, and in a way, you do. you know his favorite color, how he likes his coffee, what he usually orders at restaurants, the type of wine he prefers over beer, the exaggerated shocked fasces he likes to make, how his favorite chore is folding the laundry, how his least favorite is doing the dishes because he doesn’t like getting his hands dirty, the name of his childhood pet, what positions he likes to cuddle or fuck in, the names he’s thinking of giving to your child when they are finally born— there are so many little details you know about him, yet at times you feel like you don't know anything at all.

you don’t really know much about his childhood aside from a few random stories, he claims there’s nothing really notable and that it was as standard as can be. you don’t know who his parents were or what they were like because he said they died when he was young, but surely that’s an important loss which must have impacted him and made youth difficult in some way? you don’t know about his past partners if he even had any, but you doubt you were his first as he was yours with a face like his. you don’t know any of his secrets, like an embarrassing moment or something sinful he might have committed in the past. 

he knew all of these things about you and the little details of your life, so why don’t you know any of the most basic things regarding your own husband?

these periods of uncertainty are few and far, but once the icy tendrils of doubt creep in, it’s difficult to shake them off when you realize you only know these things through observations and not him actually telling you. it’s a miracle your stupidity allowed you to make it this far in falling head over heels for him, getting married, and carrying his child (not that you completely regret it, you still love him, but you wish you had given it more time).

they say there are no such things as stupid questions, yet the main question you have is exactly that as it’s something every wife should know even before the marriage. it would be impressive how long you’ve been clueless about this matter if it weren’t for how often and how skilled he is in managing to evade your curiosity and steer the conversation elsewhere. you didn’t want to press on it since he seems to shut it down every time the topic is brought up and you don’t want to fight over something you technically didn’t need to know, but it weighs on you and presses into your chest with the knowledge you were being kept in the dark. 

what did your husband do for a living, exactly?

his schedule is always unpredictably changing with little rhyme or reason and it confuses you. sometimes you’ll go an entire few days without seeing him, sensing him wake up in the morning before the sun is even up, feeling him kiss you on the cheek before getting ready, and not coming back until long after you fall asleep with no communication aside from a note on the table telling you he’ll be gone for the day along with a wad of cash for you to treat yourself while he’s gone. other times he’ll be chilling at home for an entire week, waking you up with aggressive cuddles (or morning sex), making you breakfast with the morning news on in the background, and taking you out to wherever you want to go on his card in his rare casual clothing and messy wavy hair rather than the typical fancy suits and hair styled with gel. 

as far as you’re concerned, he’s a businessman of sorts, although you don’t know what company he works for or what position he has in terms of hierarchy or how an occupation of that type allows such flexibility in hours or anything at all. 

“what if he’s having an affair?”

you paused for a second before continuing the motion of slicing the cheesecake with a fork and savoring the taste in your mouth. “that’s ridiculous,” you stated simply after swallowing. “he loves me very much, and it doesn’t explain his weird schedule either.”

today was spent with some friends you met back in high school, but honestly, you were only attending out of politeness and tradition since you honestly feel like you’ve disconnected from these girls long before the current. still, you treasure the memories shared in your more formative years and wouldn’t ever say no to them if they wanted to hang out like old times. ji-cheol doesn’t bother to hide his distaste for them, calling them a miserable lot who try to drag you down at every opportunity out of jealousy for your happiness. you laugh it off, but you know deep down he’s right and yet you’re still sitting here at the cafe with them with bright smiles like their words don’t cut deep. 

“maybe he’s dating the boss— a sexy office siren type— she gives him plenty of days off and he stays with her at her beach house at jeju island or something to keep her company, and then she gives him lots of money in exchange.”

“oh my god, could you imagine?”

“can you be realistic? it sounds like you’re just writing a plot for a new drama,” you giggled, not allowing the feeling of a twisting blade in your abdomen to show on your face or the venom to drip from your words at the mere thought of the man you loved being stolen away a faceless woman who was everything you wished you were more of: more beautiful, more wealthy, more experienced, more intelligent—

“you don’t know because he’s your first love or whatever— and you’re so lucky to have been able to marry him— but men are dogs, and i don’t see why he would be the exception.”

“but he treats me so well—”

“maybe he only treats you well because you’re pregnant— he probably just feels guilty. i mean, when i was pregnant and had my first, my husband wasn’t attracted to me anymore and demanded a divorce unless i lost the baby weight.” she shrugged like it was so simple, so common, like the notion of marriage wasn’t something so deeply important and could be thrown away so easily.

“we aren’t suggesting you get a divorce, but we’re just saying you should keep an eye on him— you know? a handsome guy like him was always bound to get a lot of attention…” her laugh was shrill and high-pitched, making goosebumps erupt on your skin.

“right… thanks guys…”

that night, you couldn’t stop twisting and turning on the large sectional couch with thoughts rushing through your head of your husband with some other woman. the jealousy from these fictional scenarios without evidence of existence plagued you. it made you want to vomit up the negative feelings and go back to the person you were a few hours ago without the images of him cheating planted in your mind, which didn’t go unnoticed by him and caused him to ask what was bothering you as it wouldn't be good for the baby.

you hesitated for a moment, “could you tell me about your exes?”

“why are you suddenly curious about that?” he chuckled, knowing damn well that it was because of those stupid snakes masquerading as people (it truly takes one to know one) running their mouths again, but still feigning obliviousness for your sake. 

“just wondering,” you muttered. “i mean, you’re the first person i’ve fallen in love with, but you’re a bit older than me so…”

“and i hope to be the only one too,” he smirked confidently, making you laugh as he plopped down on the ground and rested his head on the cushion next to yours. 

it was such a casual setting in such a vast space, bringing you back to the days in your little apartment inviting him over for chicken and beer before you knew about your immense wealth and got embarrassed over your cheap dates when he was so used to expensive restaurants. he found it very endearing though, knowing you liked him for him and not his money.

“well, if you’re so curious…” he trailed off, but you weren’t quite sure if it was because of hesitation or because he simply didn’t know where to start. you can’t remember the last time a conversation like this was held to learn more about him since it was usually about you, maybe back when you first started dating and briefly discussed his late parents.

he started with his crush when he was in middle school since that was his earliest recollection of feeling love, who didn’t really count as a girlfriend or love because nothing was established and because of their age, but she was his first kiss that he ran away from right after because of how nervous he was, and it was never addressed again. apparently it was his second girlfriend who taught him everything he knew before he met you, saying she basically “trained him like a dog” to create a gentleman out of an inexperienced boy who still wasn’t quite sure how to treat a woman like a queen. she was a bit mean though, and he didn’t realize he dodged a bullet until later after realizing she was unnecessarily cruel to him for no reason multiple times if he didn’t do things exactly her way.

you suppose you always knew your husband wasn’t always the suave charmer you know him to be, but the image of younger him being clueless on matters of romance made you burst out laughing because of how you could hardly picture it.

he reached over to pinch your cheek affectionately, “are you of all people really making fun of me when you were too scared to hold my hand for me to escort you out of my car?”

“oh my god, that was on our first date, i can’t be blamed! i was shaking like crazy on that day— you had to tell me that you didn’t bite.”

“i was actually thinking about calling off our date last minute because of an emergency at work,” he confessed, “but i’m glad i didn’t and met the love of my life instead.”

“aw, you flirt.” the memory made you smile and feel all giggly inside, all the fears you had about him possibly having an affair falling away, yet there were still some lingering at the back of your mind with the mention of his job. “what happened at work?”

“nothing that important,” he said instantly like clockwork. “just some boring business things.”

you didn’t push it, not wanting to ruin the mood, but once again, your curiosity was just itching to ask more questions about his work life even if it was truly as boring as he says. you wanted to know every mundane detail whether it was what his office looked like or what the annoying co-worker did on a daily basis, anything to satiate your need to know more about this mysterious man you had made life-long vows with.

it all came to a head one night while you were cooking dinner, you heard the doorbell ring a dozen times in quick succession and answered it to find an older man with fiery red hair that seemed to match his temper. when he addressed your husband by name and verified your relationship with him, he began spewing all kinds of insults about the blood he had on his hands by luring innocent people to their deaths and you felt your heart drop. you tried to reason with him that there must have been some sort of mistake, barely able to get your words out in a fit of confusion and surprise at the absurd accusation, but he wouldn’t hear you out and pointed a finger in your face, asking if you had any idea what gong ji-cheol was doing behind your back. 

at that very moment, he was suddenly seized by two anonymous men in all black, causing him to yell out in panic as they dragged him away and stuffed him in the back of a car before quickly driving off into the night without a trace. it all happened so fast, you just stood there with your mouth open in shock, wondering if you should call the police on what looked like an abduction. 

then your husband comes running up the steps with his locked briefcase in hand, shouting out your name, asking you if you’re okay, pulling you back inside the comfort of your shared home, and checking you all over to make sure you aren’t harmed in any way. when you ask about who that man was and what he was talking about, he simply told you he was some crazy customer who was dissatisfied with the company, was looking for someone to blame, and promised to tell you the details later. 

you didn’t tell him that you didn’t believe him, just pursed your lips and furrowed your brow for a second then let go of the topic like you always do, taking his coat off his shoulders with a peck on the lips asking how his day was. he reciprocated the kiss, said it was fine without anything special, and that he would shower before having dinner, something he didn’t really need to say since you already knew but stated anyway as per evening routine. 

as he headed up the stairs and disappeared from sight, you stared at the locked briefcase resting crookedly on the little entryway table and paused for a moment. if you did this, it would be a breach of privacy and a sign of growing distrust in your husband, but it could also answer all of the questions that never cease. 

your hands wouldn’t stop shaking involuntarily as you felt the cold black metal underneath your fingertips, marveling at the smooth material clean of any scratches or dents. fidgeting with the built-in combination lock, six number sequences started rushing through your mind as you started to hastily run through your options with a focus on dates. you were determined to only do this three times since you had no idea if an alarm would be set off or if it would close off permanently.

his birthday?

an electronic beep went off indicating you were incorrect, making you nervous.

your birthday?

wrong again, you only had one attempt left. you swallowed, shaking the accumulating sweat off your hands.

the date of your wedding?

you gasped as the locks suddenly flipped open and lightly knocked against the briefcase. it was undone, you could open it at any moment now and see it all.

and yet you still hesitated during this golden opportunity. was it the fact that the passcode to his most secret possession was the day you got married? was it guilt for going behind your husband’s back for answers instead of directly asking him? was it because you were afraid of what you would find if you discovered the red-haired man was telling the truth?

whatever it was, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and locked it again, leaving it looking untouched and went back to playing dinner.

there was a heavy tension present at the dinner table that night, the only conversation present being him interrogating you about what the red-haired man talked about word-for-word. not really interrogating since his tone of voice was still calm and gentle as he asked questions, but you could see him fidgeting with his fork and not leaving much room for any other topic until he was sure you told him everything. he then sighed and claimed the man was insane, a gambling addict who was too deep in debt to afford treatment and was trying to drag him into his misery after meeting at the subway station. 

“ji-cheol?”

he froze for a second, not used to hearing you use his real name rather than a pet name. “yes?”

“what do you do for a living, exactly?”

a pause, you watched him fidget with his chopsticks and shift the grains of rice around. “you know, business stuff— nothing you need to concern yourself about—“

“but i don’t know! that’s the thing!” you felt tears starting to well up behind your eyes, letting two years of frustration trickle through. “i know it doesn’t seem that important for me to know, but is it really so important that you leave me in the dark about it for the three years we’ve been lovers? and now some guy comes to our doorstep and tells me about how your job is playing games with people at the subway station to make them participate in death games?!” you took a deep breath, calming yourself down, “please, be honest with me, that’s all i want…”

“i-i…” that was the first time you’ve ever heard him stutter, and if the situation wasn’t so tense, you would be proud you finally got one-up on him. “i can’t say… it’s for your own safety and mine.”

“so he was right?”

he remained silent, trying to think of some way to counter what seong gi-hun had told you, but if you didn’t believe the elaborate lie he already told you and wanted to learn more, then he knew this was the end of the road. 

“i-i need some time to think…” you looked defeated and it broke his heart. “i’m going to my mom’s house tonight, i’ll be back tomorrow—“ you got up, not bothering to pack anything aside from your phone and your wallet.

he had prepared for you to start screaming and crying (not that he would blame you, i mean, who would willingly stay with a man who was complicit in mass murder), demanding a divorce and packing your things to shut the door for him never to be seen again with your unborn child. the strangely calm reaction was both a relief and extremely unsettling to him.

“i won’t be mad if you decide not to come back” he stated plainly, defeated in a state you’ve never seen him in before. “whatever choice you make, i’ll support you, just know i love you— more than anything else in this world.”

you stared at him blankly through the open doorway. perhaps your husband isn’t the perfect man you believed him to be, but he was as honest as he possibly could have been with you regarding the matter, and that’s enough. 

“i love you too, i’ll be back in the morning.” that’s how you feel at the moment, but you don’t know if you’ll feel the same way tomorrow morning when it sinks in.

[lxnarphase]

━━ ❝ the way of the househusband ❞

☾₊‧⁺...cw : househusband!fushiguro toji x fem!reader, you are megumi's mom, flirting, playful banter, just overall silly and cute domestic life

☾₊‧⁺...lunar's note : just some simple lil toji hcs of him as a househusband! i need some sweet stuff of him without a lot of sexual stuff in it bc let's be real, in a domestic setting he's probably just a big clingy and mildly annoying bear husband

f. toji is never going to complain about being the one staying home, watching over the little gremlin that is megumi. he's got his own ways of bringing in money with that friend of his, shiu, but he's more than content to being the one in the frilly pink apron, cooking for you and the lil' man.

toji didn’t ever expect to get married, especially after how he was treated as a zenin. he didn't know much about love or how to connect with people, let alone you. but when you handed his ass to him with no struggle and a pretty smile on your face at the gym, he knew he wanted you. two years later and a shit load of aggressive flirting, toji ends up with you as his spouse and he wouldn't have it any other way.

so imagine toji's surprise when he's genuinely excited when you tell him your pregnant. he's excited but scared. him? a father? there's no way in hell he has any idea what to do, his own father was nothing but a piece of shit...so what if he turns out like him? but the moment you pop that big headed little fucker out of you, toji can't help but grin, that excitement of being a father and creating memories with this tiny little thing erasing all his fears.

whenever you come home from work, toji's usually in the living room with little megumi, who forced him to take part in the exercise part of his favorite kids show. you don't know how megumi, your one year old baby who still talked in little babbles, forced his massive giant of a father who could kill a man with a look to do 'exercise for baby,' but you know better than to question it when you see the two touching their toes in front of the tv.

sometimes, he's in the kitchen, however, wearing that 'kiss the cook' apron you got for his birthday. toji always wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you into a kiss, muttering a 'welcome home’ against your lips before poking your side and going back to what he was doing, proud grin on his face at the little screech he gets from you.

he's started to get better at dodging your hands when you go to poke him back, skirting around the table before going to scoop megumi up. “you would never do such an act in front of 'gumi, would you? what if he starts going around poking girls in their sides, hm? then i'll have to explain to his teacher that his mama can't keep 'er hands to herself.”

toji's got you there...so you back off, opting to press a kiss to babygumi’s little forehead, taking him from your husband’s arms when he makes grabby hands at you. you savor the betrayed look on toji's face, sticking your tongue out at him. he scoffs, rolling his eyes before going back to make sure dinner wasn’t burnt. he’ll get you back for stealing his son from him.

despite what people might think, there’s not really a 'dominant' person in the relationship. when together, the two of you give off some of the most intimidating vibes because of the sheer power the both of you carry. it's not even put off by little megumi, because if he notices his parents looking at you in disgust, he's gonna give you one that's even worse.

toji will never forget the day the three of you went to the grocery store, him in his usual black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, you in one of those same shirts and leggings with megumi in the kiddie seat in the shopping cart, eating from the little snack pack toji made for him. toji swears he walked away for three fucking seconds, and he came back to some...fucker getting ready to chat you up. it’s no surprise anyone that he gets pissed, ready to storm over there and make it clear you're taken.

however, it's clear you don't need him to step in, and damn, you look...really hot telling this dude off, angrily flashing your ring when he wouldn't back off. god, he wishes he could marry you again. toji doesn’t even know what you told the guy, and he's tempted to playfully ask megumi what happened, knowing his lil' man would try to respond in babbles and coos.

“he said you crawled out from the trash, toj, i can't stand for that! he could’ve done you some justice and said you crawled out of the deepest pits of hell, so I had to educate him on that. besides, he called you my boyfriend and I almost punched his face.”  “yeah? hm, i’m glad you didn’t, babe, we don’t want to get kicked out the store.”  “i don’t know, i think an imprint of my ring in his forehead would get the message across.”  “well, next time, how about we just kiss like we haven't seen each other in 15 years? not a fan of showing out to some dude, but i'd do it for you, sweetheart.”  “mmn!”  “right, lil' man? mama's so mean t' me, it's a good idea.”  “gumiiii, you're supposed to be on my side!”

occassionally, when you're at work, toji'll just talk to megumi, the little one nice and comfy on his chest.

one habit he'll never get out of is randomly calling you throughout the day when he's particularly bored and missing you. if you don't answer, toji will just leave you a message, usually about how badly he wants you to come home, groaning about how tired he is but he can't sleep without you in his arms, without you playing with his hair until he falls asleep. he's so in love with you, it's almost makes you dizzy.

you'll never forget the day you come home to toji and baby megumi in the front yard, crouched down around...something. parking in the driveway, you make your way over and see what they're looking at. it's...a kitten and a puppy, two tiny little things playfighting with each other. neither one of them say anything, just looking at the two creatures. you sigh, knowing exactly what this means.

"...give them appropriate names and make vet appointments. we aren't naming the dog 'hot dog' and we aren't naming the cat 'kitten'." "i told you it would work, lil' man."

all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work

[velvetydream]

꒰ :🥀 [ Till death do us part ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Summary : What if Alastors dear little darling wife, his partner in crime, the person he thought he'd never see again, turns up with Mimzy on the day of the visit of the big boss of hell.

Pairing : Alastor x fem! Reader

Word count : 1899 Words

Genre : Fluff , Drama , Angst

Warnings ➵ Mentions of death, you're shorter than

Vaggie, possessive Alastor, swearing

Prequel -> > The radio star lost <

a/n : I love this trope ngl, tried to not make him to much out of character, hope it worked.. T T

Also I'm rather new to Hazbin Hotel, so I say sorry if anythings seems wrong or out of character! ><

┌───────────────────────── ·  ·  ·  · ♡

The whole hotel was a bit chaotic right now, Lucifer himself would be visiting in just a bit and Charlie wanted everything to be perfect. Colorful decorations were hanging everywhere, a banner was hung up for welcoming the king of hell, how does one even welcome the king of hell into their hotel? Charlie was probably the most stressed of all, but Vaggie did her best to calm her nervous wreck of a girlfriend down.

The moment Lucifer stepped into the hotel was meant to make everything go down, Alastor and his Ego had somehow always a snarky remark against Lucifer. Charlie tried her best to keep them apart, introducing her other friends, before she announced how she would be needing his help. And again the banter between the king of hell and the radio demon started all over again. As if throwing insults at each other before wasn't enough already, now they were pulling at Charlie left and right, like two babies fighting over a toy.

But all things come to an end, which Charlie was thankful for right now, as Mimzy, apparently a friend of Alastor, which was interesting to know he even had any, came barging in with a grand entrance. As the woman now settles down at the bar, talking with the others, Alastor and Charlie took Lucifer on a walk around, Husker disappearing for a second too, but soon joining them at the bar again, a scowl on his face, but something else, undescribable behind his eyes.

A bang was heard through the whole hotel as the entrance door was slammed open and heard could be an angry voice. "MIMZY! You little bitch!" A demon, a slight bit shorter than Vaggie probably, walked in. A scowl evident on the face, as her eyes scan over the place, before falling on the woman she was looking for. "How dare you leave me in the shit like that?! You've got it coming if those sharks don't kill you, I certainly will!" Ignoring the questioning looks of Angel and Husker, you stomp over to the blonde, ready to yank at her hair, when suddenly a bit of debris was thrown through the window and landed beside you, barely missing you by a hair. "The fuck?" The demon's head craned around, looking out the window and there they were, those fuckers Mimzy was in debt to.

You didn't really have time to react much, as three people stormed into the entrance hall, all you could catch was a glimpse of red before the person ran outside, screams of the sharks could be heard, at least those were finally taken care of.

The loan sharks were gone and fought off quickly by that person, his voice now directed to Mimzy, your own eyes on her yourself with a scowl. She and that red demon apparently knew each other quite well, as Mimzy was walking to the door, you finally really looked at the demon. He had short red and black hair, ears sat atop his head, despite scowling Mimzy he was smiling, though a sinister smile it seems. His attire was almost completely red too, a cane was clutched in his hands, as he watched Mimzy walk off, you could only make out a small part of his face. The man seemed so familiar as if you had known him for a long time.. Your heart was running a mile right now, it was getting hard to breathe, and then...

"Thank you Alastor, really.." The long-haired blonde spoke up.. That name, it couldn't be right? Mimzy would've told you, she knew him, she would've definitely told you.. right? You must be mistaken right now.. Your eyes were fixated on the man called Alastor, the voices and sounds around you were all a mush, drowned out as your brain was going all around. Now that you could see his face, he definitely had some resemblance to him.. to your late husband, who had died before you. You were his assistant, his partner in crime, when the news hit you that he was shot, it broke your heart, but still, you continued on alone, killing. That's probably what also got you to hell, well sooner than later you were figured out and soon arrived here in hell.

"Yo smiles, this girly is gawking at you for minutes now." Slowly voices were coming back to you, the white spider beside you talked, pointing his thumb at you, the red-haired now meeting your eyes, his ears straightening and standing alert like the ones of a deer caught in headlight. What irony if he was your Alastor, the irony of dooming him with deer-like features, after getting shot assumed for a deer while hiding one of the many bodies. That day you decided to let him go alone, oh if you just hadn't done that, maybe you both would be alive or you would've at least arrived together in hell.

Alastor was taking slow steps to you, the smile on his face looking strained, yet it never disappeared, his hand was reaching out for you but stopped. Eyes moving over your form, taking in everything. Resemblance to his wife evident, but.. how did he never notice you before? Had he ever met you, walked past, maybe even taken a second glance but dismissed this feeling he has right now.

Swiftly he grabs your wrist, dragging you behind him, ignoring the calls of his name of the other residents, his mind plagued by one only thought, more like one only person.. you.

Stumbling behind him, his grip rather firm on your wrist, yet it felt comforting as if you knew he would never hurt you. Not in your lifetime and also not now in your afterlife. Eyes watching the back of his head, you were wondering what expression his face harbors right now. Was he happy? Was he confused? Disappointed? Maybe he knew where you were all this time but didn't want to meet you. No, he wasn't like this. He may have been distant sometimes while alive, but in the end, he was always a darling to you. Taking care of you, just as he vowed on your wedding day. A distant memory, yet one of the most beautiful ones you have.

A door was opened and as you were pulled inside, the door closed. Steps echoed through the room, you noticed a forest on the other side of the room, but that didn't rather faze you, eyes on him again.. and him only. "Al-" You were interrupted by laughter, the man before you was hugging himself, his arms around him, yet you still weren't able to see his face. "D-Do you know.. How often have I thought about you?!" His voice was loud, a static sound like from a radio accompanied it. One of his hands was tearing at his hair now. "That bitch never told me... I'll make sure to kill her for that.. She kept you from me.." The laughter got even louder, as if the man before you was going insane.

This behavior was nothing new to you, he used to be like this, high on adrenalin when another murder was successful.. Or when he was close to being figured out by the police and detectives, yet he always slipped away right through their incapable fingers.

"I always wondered what happened to you, if you grew old with someone new.." If you were able to see his face right now, you would be able to see the sinister yet possessive smile on his face, his eyes darting around the room.

This all ended in a second when he felt a soft hand on his. He knew this hand, he also knew the person it belonged to like the front of his pocket. "I would never, I carried on alone in your memories, yet I was never as skilled as you darling, so sooner than later they connected all the dots to me." A low chuckle could be heard again, the static radio sound calmed down again too. The tall man slowly turned around now, his hand engulfing your own, his fingers softly running over your own, before he linked them together. How he had missed this feeling, despite having a distaste for people touching him, you were different. Your touch felt warm, like the summer sun kissing his skin, it felt comforting.

"I've missed you mon amour.." His voice was soft, probably the softest it had ever been since he had arrived in hell. His hand guides yours up to his lips, as he closes his eyes and presses a soft kiss to the back of your hand, a smile, now softer, on his lips. He was never one for kissing you on the lips, he definitely favored kissing your hand, like the gentleman he has always been. "I figured with how you were talking seconds ago my dear.." A soft smile was creeping up onto your lips too, mirroring his own one. Red eyes open again, your hand still pressed to his face, but now he was rather holding your hand to his cheek. "Oh how I wished I could've stayed with you my darling, we would've been so successful.." Giggling at his words, with him at your side, you probably would have been going for a long time. "But who says we can't be successful now?" A smirk etched its way onto your husband's face, oh how he loved your daring little mind, always thirsting for blood. With you by his side again now, he would definitely be able to get everything done that he wanted.

"Shall we go back? I want to meet your friends properly." Wanting to pull away your hand, he softly gives you a tug, your head landing on his chest now. Wide eyes look the the side now, as you weren't really able to move, his arms having snaked around you and his chin resting on your head. This was unusual much physical contact, but figured that you hadn't seen each other for multiple decades he yearned for your touch just a slight bit. Your arms lying around him, embracing the hug. "Let's just stay here a few minutes more, we got enough time to introduce you to everyone down there but for now.. let me have you for myself." Nodding softly, your head rests on his chest, as your eyes close and you simply enjoy the presence of your dearly beloved husband.

"What do you mean 'married to smiles'?!" Angel, as he was introduced to you, shouted from his place on the couch now, staring at you flabbergasted. "We've been married for quite a few years before his death." Smiling you answered his question. Alastor didn't like all the attention you were getting, but sooner than later he would have you all to himself again when you two go back to his cozy hotel room or the radio tower. "So you two fu-" Angel wasn't even able to finish his question before he shut himself up as he noticed the look on Alastors face. This time he would've been dead for sure if he finished that question.

Overall everyone invited you happily into their little hotel family, it was amazing. Charlie immediately took a liking to you and if you're being honest she quickly was viewed by you like a daughter.