#I don't care if this looks terrible compared to my other works-I had a lot of fun making this

[gossypibomaa]

I woke up this morning with the revelation that I have free will and am allowed to experiment with my art

[lairofsentinel]

Since this user's posts seem to have been deleted in previous opportunities I copy-paste their words here because they express exactly what I feel about this game. Dragon Age has died, unfortunately.

I'm a big time Dragon Age lover and have enjoyed every game in the series. Personally, I think Inquisition is the best in the series. And I was excited for Veilguard right up until I actually began playing it. Now, I want to clear things up at the start as to what I look for and believe makes a good Dragon Age game. To start, I DON'T CARE ABOUT COMBAT. I. Do. Not. Care.

You can make it Origins tactical. DA2 fast tactical. DAI hybrid. God of War action, I don't care. Dragon Age has always had combat that was...fine. A nice distraction and breakup in between the bits I actually care about: narrative ROLEPLAYING, story, characters, and exploration. I don't give a crap how great the combat is if the narrative roleplaying and writing are poor, I'm not playing BioWare titles for amazing gameplay. I am here for the story, the characters, and the roleplaying. Truth is, for a time I considered DATV's combat to be the best in the series.

And this is why I feel the game is a terrible Dragon Age, because it lacks or fails to respect those elements concerned with narrative roleplaying, story, characters, and exploration. Now, in many reviews and online videos you'll hear some reference often to the drop in writing quality. And a lot of time people will incorrectly say that the writing with the characters is to "modern" or "Marvel quippy" or not "dark" enough. I think these people are wrong, they recognize there is a drop in writing quality from previous games but aren't able to articulate why that is.

Dragon Age has never adopted any sort of faux medieval speech and vocabulary (though we'll get into this more later). This is a series that used "epic fail" as a thing someone uttered in the very first game. It's always had anachronistic dialogue and banter. So why is it such a drop then? Why is it considered poor? Simple. This is a game that does not believe in the world it has setup for over a decade. It does not believe in or engage properly with its own world and lore. I mean, look no further than the title "The Veilguard" a phrase that is never uttered by anyone in our group, and further proof it was a last minute marketing change. Compare to Inquisition where the title is apparent from the start in the game and has actual meaning.

You see, characters in DATV do not feel or react to events the way they should based on the lore. Why is no one constantly asking what the hell the Inquisitor is doing? The Inquisitor is kind of a BIG DEAL when it comes to Solas and Elven Gods, my Inquisitor drank from the WELL OF SORROWS! So why are we sitting around thinking at the start, "hmm lemme think who I can contact who might know more." The Herald of Andraste! They know more Rook, the guy that is technically your boss. The Inquisitor! Who else have you been working for this entire time? Who do you think told Varric to recruit you?!

But even removing the Inquisitor, the Elven Gods being real and also near synonymous with the old Tevinter Gods is kind of a BIG DEAL. It was only a theory fans crafted long ago that slowly revealed itself to be true. And it completely upends known religious dogma on all sides. Yet, why aren't people we meet going through a massive existential crisis? For instance, the Veil Jumpers we initially meet were presumably told off-screen about Fen'Harel, and are seemingly cool with this massive knowledge alone. But then we talk about those two other Gods being released and they're like, "well, shit those two aren't good." As if they have any clue if the fables about those Gods are real when we previously just upended everything they thought about the Dreadwolf! Why are you acting like this is another Tuesday?! Your entire religion is wrong. In that same conversation, Strife notes "Solas might be a bastard, but compared to the Evunaris? Let's just say they weren't know for being kind rulers."

My brother in Anduril, what are you talking about! Elven religion teaches that Elgar'nan was so beloved by the Earth that it "the land brought forth great birds and beasts of sky and forest, and all manner of wonderful green things." And that he fought the jealous Sun that tried to burn the land and all beasts away. Custom says that he and Mythal, "created the world as we know it" after defeating the Sun. He is literally described as one of the "good" Gods. WHY ARE YOU ASSUMING HE IS EVIL! It's like finding out Satan is real, but not as evil as have come to believe and then being told Jesus Christ is back and a devout Christian going, "well shit, that can't be good." WHAT?!

The same goes for Andraste and the Chant of Light, it took me 30 hours of playing before ONE character mentioned Andraste and the implications with the Chant and it was never brought up again. Our entire party is seemingly made up of unphased atheists. Now compare to something like Inquisition which explored this aspect HARD and was amazing for it. You'd get into great debates with religious figures and party members about the implications of Corypheus actually being a Tevinter Magister of old. And you'd talk about what it means towards the religious dogma preached and how much is true. And these intense political and religious discussions are present in every previous game, and not confined to a single conversation with one party member where it is seemingly resolved.

These conversations do not happen in DATV because there is no depth to the writing or engagement with the world. The Elven Gods are evil and need to be stopped. That's it. We don't need to think about the implications this has on Dalish customs and religion. Fuck it, all the Dalish are going to still wear their Vallaslin slave brand tattoos. Let's forget about Trespasser implying Solas was removing them from followers coming to join him. Let's even forget they were likely all told at this point that they are slave brands, nope still going to wear them yet speak blasphemy with every sentence against our Gods. No one cares about Andraste or The Maker or the Chant. Big deal if these Elven Gods contradict the overwhelming majority religion in Thedas. Not a single party member has religious or cultural objections to killing the Elven Gods; not a problem. Not one single elf wants to join Solas in tearing down The Veil and getting immortality again?

Again, let's forget about Trespasser setting up Solas gathering MANY Elven followers from Dalish clans who would be super inclined to join him after experiencing CENTURIES of discrimination and slavery by humans. The better question is what Elves wouldn't join Solas at the start? And what Elves wouldn't look at the other two Gods and go, "meh, maybe we should give them a try. They can't be worse than humans, right?" In DA2 you had elves joining The Qun to escape the discrimination of humans, but not ONE ELF wants to join Solas or Elgar'nan? Those Ancient Elves in the Temple of Mythal? I guess they all died, right?

This extends to EVERY single element of Dragon Age that previously had depth to it, it now has been completely removed. Those murdering Antivan Crows? Oh, they're just good Italian Mob Family that protect their city. Tevinter? Yes, it has poor people, but we're trying to do better. Oh, slavery? No, no we don't show that here. The Qun? The what now? No, they are all Antaam now, and so that means they are all generic evil warlords. No, they don't even attempt to follow their own hardcore view of The Qun like when Templars split from the Chantry, they're just warlords now that like plunder. Dwarves and their rigid Caste society? We don't do that here. Elves and racism across Thedas? Elves used to experience racism? News to me, what's a Shemlen? Never heard of that term, we like all humans. Pirates? That is insensitive, we are Lords of Fortune and we are sure to return any cultural artifacts found to their rightful owners; it belongs in a museum after all. The fucking Fade and spirits? Wait, you mean its different than generic fantasy spirit world? I'm sorry, that's too complicated here.

This either intentional disregard of the lore or plain ignorance also extends to environmental design. The asset reuse from Inquisition is particularly hilarious and must speak to the developers not having time after the switch from MP. Why are the same statues found in Val Royeaux in DAI also in Tevinter and Antiva? Why are those stupid Fen'Harel Wolf statues EVERYWHERE? Even in the catacombs of other Elven Gods! There are no statues of Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain. Nothing for June or Anduril. Dirthamen. Falon'Din. Nothing. No, the only Gods that seem to get statues are coincidentally the ones who already had assets created for DAI or past titles that could be reused. Hmmm.

This continues into character designs too, why do the Veiljumpers and Shadow Dragons all dress richly? They are supposed to be poor as fuck. There's a codex entry about Veiljumpers finding a lost cache of old ancient elven armor and weapons and so boom they all get to dress like High Elven Lords and not the dirty, poor, wandering Dalish clans they are supposed to come from. Why do this? There isn't even an attempt to explaining why the Shadow Dragons, an organization supposed to be secretive, has branded clothing in bright rich colors and fabrics for all members. Naturally, it must be incredibly difficult for Tevinter authorities to not identify them.

This lack of depth and verisimilitude, naturally, affects all the characters. Because in this game you cannot roleplay and you cannot ask questions. In Dragon Age Inquisition, once you started the game, you could immediately interrogate Varric about what happened to every DA2 character despite the Inquisitor never meeting them, you know because it respects its players. You could speak to shop keepers, blacksmiths, your horse master. You could interrogate every single person to learn more about them and the world. The same goes for your player character in DA2 and Origins. You show in Denermin and find yourself knee deep in a quest to help Wade the Blacksmith craft the perfect armor. Here you can't actually speak to a single shopkeeper to ask questions and get some lore bits. You can't ask party members questions about their background, religious beliefs, upbringing, their factions, etc. You can't ask any returning characters any questions either about what they've been doing. Enter a brand new area? Great, you're not asking anyone questions about this never before seen place.

How does a lost Dwarven thaig survive every single blight? How are their immortal lichs in Neverra? How long has that been a thing? Why haven't they told anyone about the Elven gods or any other knowledge they've accumulated in an immortal lifespan? If immortality is so "easy" why can't Solas just do that to restore the Elves? Why are the Venatori, Tevinter Supremacists, following Elven Gods? Wouldn't that be a major identity crisis? Why would Antaam, who still preach the Qun, follow an Elven God that speaks blasphemy with ever breadth? Sshhhh, no questions. You get what is directly told to you and that's it, no follow-up questions.

Party members do not conflict with each other or interrogate each other's beliefs which is why their banter feels inconsequential and meaningless. Lucanis is a assassin, he kills people for money. The same organization that marked Zevran for death for failing a contract. The same one that took him as a kid and trained him to murder, often brutally, for coin. And yet no one really seems to care. He's just a nice Italian assassin from a nice assassin organization. Who cares. Let's instead talk about cooking, at length. Harding, a devout follower of Andraste, has no qualms with Elven Gods wreaking havoc on known religion. We get one conversation you can tell her to believe what she wants, and that's the end of that debate. Bellara also gets about two whole conversations about the conflict concerning her Gods wreaking havoc, both easily resolved. We don't need to think about any larger implications or doubt her loyalty when the Elven pantheon are seeking to restore her people that have been discriminated against since forever. Emmerich, a necromancer of Neverra, apparently has no religious belief. A codex entry even states that those of the Mourn Watch don't know where the soul goes after death. They don't like to think about it. Buddy, Mortalitasi belief is literally that our souls return to the Void alongside The Maker, but to keep balance a exchange must be wrought with The Fade to allow a spirit to house the now empty vessel. How do you not know the religion and customs of your own faction and land? This man has a whole quest line about funerary rights, yet not ONCE mentions religion and what he believes happens after death?! Sshhhh, no questions. No thinking.

Hey, remember The Fade? Remember how mages go to dream there every night. Remember how The Black City is always visible there? No? Well, we don't either. You won't see The Black City in The Fade. You might see it in The Crossroads in a closed off section, even though it is NOT The Fade. Oh, we're going to have you physically enter The Fade in multiple quest lines and no one will think it's a big deal. No, you still can't see The Black City. Now, The Fade is reduced to nothing more than your generic fantasy spirit world. It has none of the previous rules and lore that bound it before. Demons can bind to non-mages and we won't attempt to explain it. Solas fucks with The Veil and not a single mage notices a change in their dreams when they sleep at night. No biggie.

Lastly, let's return at last to the actual minutiae of writing. I stated at the start the writing isn't bad because of Marvel quippiness, which the series has always had. I was partly lying. Yes, the series has always had anachronistic dialogue. It has had meme language in its own previous titles. But, it was just that, a small joke here and there. For the most part the series actually tried to use it's own sort of "older" speech patterns. I think a perfect example has to do with Taash, she eventually finds her own identity and declares she is proudly "non-binary." Literally stating, "so, I'm non-binary." I have no issue with this sort of inclusivity in Dragon Age, it's what the series is known for. Yet, why does that sound wrong? Simple, it's far too anachronistic. It doesn't belong in Dragon Age. In Inquisition, Dorian let's us know he's gay. But he doesn't say, "I'm gay!" or "I'm a homosexual" those terms would not exist in his world. Instead he says, "I prefer the company of men."

And it's these little subtle changes in writing that makes it feel all the more different. We went from "I once ventured in to The Fade to serve the Old Gods of Tevinter in person. I found there only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. Now I shall return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world gone wrong. Pray that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the Gods. And it was empty."

To: "Well, shit. That can't be good."

So, what do we have when all is said and done? Well, we have a decent generic fantasy action game. An intentional attempt by the developers to remove every edge from the world of Dragon Age in place of a very simple, easy to understand world with not much depth beyond what you see. You don't need to think, just play and have fun. This is beyond turning a MP game into a SP game, which so blatantly obvious in this game. DA2 was developed in 16 months, but is carried strong by its writing. You see, nothing prevented them from just acknowledging their own world they created. It costs very little to write around what already exists. Even if you can't make no assets or redesign the world. Writing is cheap and having characters voice these elements is not as costly as a redesign. No, they chose to remove the edge in every element because this was design intentionally for the masses with easy to understand world and zero depth.

But I wanted to play Dragon Age. I wanted to get into intense religious debates with party members as known lore is completely upended. I wanted to debate Elvish clans deciding to join Solas or the other Gods due to their treatment by human society. I wanted to debate the ethics of necromancy with the Mortalitasi of Neverra's Crypts. I wanted to engage in intense debating with Solas on the ethics of his goal. I wanted to see Tevinter react to a real push for anti-slavery and actually see the slavery in the slave capital of the world. I wanted to butt heads with the Antivan Crows and call them out for the murderers they are. I wanted to see the Black Divine and debate the Chant of Light with them. I wanted to speak to the Archon of Tevinter and see how he felt about the Venatori's past efforts in Inquisition. Hey, what happened to Meredith Reborn in Kirkwall and her idol and Red Templar worshipers? Forget about it.

We got none of this. I got a game that is pretty much disrespectful of its own world. I waited 10 years for this? Why even bother if this is the result? They may as well have just killed every previous character we ever knew, including Solas, offscreen and started anew with this game. Because as a Dragon Age game and sequel, it's terrible and no returning character is how they should be.

And when we get to the ending, that's pretty much what they did. Everything you did in all the past games? Well, that was pointless. Everyone is probably dead. King Alistair. Gaspard. Celene. King Bhelen. The Arl of Redcliffe. The Divine. The Circle of Magi. The Templars. The Seekers. Everything, everyone, and every organization that existed in the South is likely dead and destroyed. And now Dragon Age can become what they wanted, a generic fantasy IP.

But I just wanted to play Dragon Age.

[cripplecharacters]

hello! so, i currently have an oc in the works. i dont have much for his character yet, and hes kind of a blank slate at the moment, however, whilst trying to develop him i had the idea to give him a disability; its something i dont do with my characters very often, and i feel like it could give some depth and realism to his character. however, i..... dont know where to really start with it? i have the vague idea that i think id like him to have crutches, so some sort of leg disability, but just going off that its been hard for me to find any condition that feels quite right. im unsure about making him an amputee either; seemingly the "go to" for anyone who wants to make a physically disabled character. i want to try and represent a disability thats less fetishized by the general public, and looking through this blog here its definitely apparent that a lot of people are tired of seeing basic half amputee characters with overly functional prosthetics; i wanna avoid that. sorry this has gotten a bit rambly, but basically what im asking is,, do you have advice for what i could use as just. a general starting point in this? im terribly uneducated and lost at the moment and id love some help. thank you :]

Hi!

It's great that you're interested in writing a disabled character (with care)! I'm always happy to see more writers/artists/creatives do that.

You mentioned wanting to give him crutches, which is cool! Mobility aid users in media make me happy. However, you mentioned crutches as meaning a leg disability, which isn't always the case — and while I don't have statistics on it, I believe that most crutch users do not use them for leg-only problems, and a lot of them have the not-so-fetishized conditions. Here are some suggestions of what you could give your character, which hopefully gives you some ideas. If you need, you can get back to us with a more specific question after you figure out what exactly your character has! :-) (smile)

Cerebral palsy — probably the most common reason for using crutches in non-elderly people, and the most common (physical) disability in younger people in general. If your character has diplegic (meaning lower limbs affected) CP, he could use crutches and if he has hemiplegic (one arm and one leg affected) CP, then he could use a single crutch or a cane. Cerebral palsy is generally extremely underrepresented when compared to how many people have it IRL! Just be aware that there is a lot of research involved just about the condition itself — multiple types (spastic/ataxic/dyskinetic), different kinds of body involvement, tons of different mobility aids and orthotics to learn about. There is also hereditary spastic paraplegia, which is not the same as CP but similar and progressive.

Spinal cord injury — the general assumption is that all people with spinal cord injuries are fully paralyzed below the neck or waist, and that's not the case. If your character has an incomplete SCI on any level or just a very low level injury, he could be using crutches or switch between a wheelchair and crutches. It's essential to research SCIs to have them be more than “legs don't work, but that's literally it”. SCI can come with severe nerve pain, spasticity, atrophy, and a lot of other things. Worth noting that spinal cord injury could be traumatic, but could also be congenital (spina bifida) or illness related (polio, transverse myelitis, spinal stroke, or cancer, for example). You could think that it's overrepresented in media, but SCI is generally just used as a “default condition” for why a character is in a wheelchair, and a lot of these representations are unfortunately very shallow.

Paralysis — in the monoplegic sense here. Much more rare than the rest of the things here, but your character could have a single paralyzed leg, largely due to nerve damage. Could be traumatic or illness-related (e.g., cancer, infection, or multiple sclerosis).

Stroke (and other traumatic/acquired brain injuries) — stroke can cause a million different symptoms and depending on what happens to your character exactly, he might need crutches! A big portion of stroke survivors deal with hemiplegia and could use a crutch on their non-affected side, for example. Some kinds of stroke might cause your character to have troubles with balance and require a mobility aid to not fall. Of course stroke will also cause other symptoms for your character (it wouldn't be too realistic to only have him have problems with his legs) for example speech issues, headaches, or seizures. Stroke can happen to anyone, and it wouldn't be weird to have a younger character with it. Very common in real life but very rarely represented in fiction.

Limb difference — you can definitely write a character with a limb difference or an amputation without fetishizing it! The main concern with the fetishization is the concept of the robotic limb that works just as well as or even better than a meat leg, and thus the character is “fixed”. But your character could just… not use a prosthetic. A lot of congenital amputees, people with limb differences, or with high level (above knee) amputations might do that. He could also have a leg length difference, which could cause him to need crutches (for example, Morteza Mehrzad has one of his legs significantly shorter after a pelvic injury, and he uses crutches among other mobility aids).

Chronic pain — very broad category for too many specific conditions to count. Neuropathy in the legs and/or lower back could be a reason for using crutches, for example. Unhealed, or poorly healed past injuries. Arthritis in knees or hips. Hypermobility that makes him unsteady or dislocate joints. Pain in bones or muscles where he can't fully weight-bear.

Gait disorders — another broad category (sorry). Your character could have problems with his gait and need aids for that. It could be caused by dyspraxia (I have it), ataxia, progressive muscular dystrophy (there is a lot of different types), Parkinson's disease, or a lot of other things! Could also be injury related.

And of course you could have multiple characters that are disabled to make sure that there is some variety :)

I hope that the above list gave you some ideas for your character :-) (smile) if you have more questions, feel free to send another ask

mod Sasza

[transbianmuffin]

Memories pt. 3

cw manipulation but we all know she wants to be a pet, also two queer flirting and a hint of gaslighting

********

this thing is huge, and it's almost nonsensical, so much complexity so incredibly decorated so alienating?

"This is...incredible..."

"This, dear, is Opicala. The main Affini ship overseeing Jupiter."

"How? How? It's..."

"Huge? Fantastic? I know you tend to struggle with words." "Majestic!" "Haha, yes majestic is a nice one to describe it." "..." "I know, I know, most of sophonts don't comprehend the grandeur of Affini's architecture." wait those two affini have people? on a leash? what the hell? I've heard about domestication but I thought it was mostly reducing them to zombies and those guys are making out? they seem so happy so carefree what is happening and why why why I- I like it? No I don't want to be a slave I want peace not being a slave again "But I guess you're not looking at the architecture, don't you?" "Those people, collared, on a leash. Are your slaves? Is this what's gonna happen to me?"

they seem so happy, their eyes filled with bliss their mouths drooling each other's saliva and they seem no to care about a thing which is not their own tongues twitching and swirling "Slaves? Dirt, no! Absolutely not. My dear, those are pets. Domesticated sophonts, and we love our pets so much." "I was told that you enslaved people, keeping them drugged and compliant and used them as your servitude or to do menial work for your empire..." "The rebel propaganda really got you there, my beautiful terran. No, not at all. Well, they are drugged most of the times. That part is true, but I can assure you they really like it. As you did, a couple of days ago when we had our first chat." "What will be of me?" "Well, techinically you'd have been sent to forced domestication since you are a rebel. It is also true, though, that you did what you did and that would make you a defector. In addition to that you surrendered without any resistance and moreover you gave us some very useful intel." "So?" "So, my dear, I filed a special plead for you. You won't be assigned to forced domestication. You will stay here for a while and then we will drop you wherever you like on Jupiter. Lastly, we will grant you the status of 'independent terran', unless..." "U- unless?" "Unless you'd actually want to stay and be a pet, my dear. Oh you would be the cutest of them all. You'd have to either pick or be picked by an owner and you will live forever in care and bliss." oh god oh god a pet? would I be a good pet? I mean those two earlier seemed to be happy but maybe there were only high as fuck but being a pet seems so nice

"An owner, like you?" "Ah, you're saying this, not me~" "I- I don't know." "There is another little thing I forgot to mention." "Now you're scaring me." "Good, you will learn to fear the giant plant girl which work consists mainly in interrogating and inflicting terrible tortures to rebels." "...Sinea..." "Just kidding, just kidding! Look at your face, stars you are so damn cute! Anyway, I saw from your medical report that you were under special medications for HRT, am I correct?" "Y-yes." "Well I think it is worth mentioning that the meds you were taking are nothing more than candies compared to our Class G. Which is basically the same thing but way more advanced and effective." "Oh..."

is she lying? maybe she wants to drug me again but maybe I can trust her, she's been so kind with me and advanced HRT is a dream come true

"Am I picking your interest there?" "Y-yes." "Of course this is not to convince you at all. I am just saying that here you will be loved in a way you have never experienced. You are free to go whenever. Just say a place on Jupiter and we'll drop you there instantly, Deena." "I need some time. I am tired and it's a lot to process." "That's perfectly understandable, little one. Want me to carry you?" "..." "Stars, when you give me those puppy eyes I- I simply can't! Come on. Here." "Those pets."

god they seemed so happy I was envious? jealous? yes that's the word

"Those pets, yes." "Those pets." "Yes those were pets. Do you have any specific consideration you want to make here or are you simply stating a matter of fact, my dear?" "They seemed so happy. Their kisses so blissful, their minds overwhelmed with joy and passion." "Florets usually do that. Here they are safe, protected, free to explore their true self, their true nature. Nobody judges them and the joy you saw in their eyes was certaintly shared by their respective owners."

"I would like to talk to one of them, if possible." "I have a better idea. There will be a little social gathering among florets later, their owners will be there but they won't interfere too much in their interactions. While I am not still your owner, I am your temporary ward so I can vouch for you. There you can talk to any of them and maybe even do something more than talking~" "S- still?"

what does she mean with still? still? she wants me to be her pet? what?

"Uh?" "You said you are not still my owner." "No, no my dear you must have misheard. I said that I am not your owner, which is true. I mean I could be your owner if that's what you want but the choice is yours and only yours."

maybe I misheard? I am sure she said that but I'm also tired and the feeling of her vines around me are so beautifully distracting

"I- I think I'm sure of what i've heard?" "Aw darling~ you are so tired, sometimes it happens to misheard stuff when we are tired. Misheard or projecting. Anyway, would you like to go to the floret's gathering?" "Maybe you're right. I am really tired but yes, Sinea, I'd love to go." "Very well, but first I must to inform you that I won't let my ward take part in a social event without some glowing up. You still smell of surgical sanitizer and your dress is unacceptable. I have a reputation." "Sure..." "That's my good girl. We will go at mine, have a bath, some grooming and I'll provide you with something suitable to wear."

hehe good girl~ wait a second a bath, a dress? what am I a doll? but I don't want to make her feel bad at the gathering I guess I can see how it goes

********

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 01/07

Anonymous asked:i think youre the first liveblogger ive seen to actually remember that orphaner dualscar was eridan’s flarping name?

Mindfang clearly describes the Serkets, so I wonder if Dualscar says anything about the Amporas?

Eridan's greatest enemy does have a duality theme, after all - and he was certainly scarred when the guy stole his crush >:)

@captorations asked:i have terrible news regarding homestuck and the good place: https://x.com/nbcthegoodplace/status/1039908767763259392?lang=en not to mention that. well. the two share more than you've encountered yet. it's very likely not a coincidence. have fun! oh and. re: my ongoing campaign of pointing out the homestuck ancestry of tlt characters. please compare aradia's "i am very much alive and i intend to stay that way" with dulcinea's "i'm not in the river and i won't ever be again"

...oh my god.

On reflection, this makes a lot of sense. Homestuck's fandom is pretty large, and some of its members were bound to be involved in the production of mainstream media. Still, it's wild to see a Homestuck reference - or, technically, a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff reference - on the official Twitter for a show this big.

And Aradia does have a lot in common with Dulcinea, doesn't she? For one thing, they didn't really start influencing the plot until after they died.

Anonymous asked: Not really important anymore, but looking at what Gamzee has in his Strife Deck, it doesn’t look like he has any ranged options: he’s got the bowling pins, what appear to be a discarded sickle and lance from Karkat and Tavros respectively, what I’m PRETTY SURE is a whip of some sort, and the Zillyhoo hammer. The closest to a ranged weapon in that stack is the whip, or maybe the pins if he’s willing to throw them, but neither seem like they’d work very well against Vriska. Barring some secret power or other plot twist, I think Gamzee would genuinely be the underdog in that matchup. (Which feels weird, because Gamzee’s been mutating into a slasher villain while Vriska’s still very much an antihero protagonist. Usually the power balance is the other way around with those archetypes!)

On the face of it, Gamzee didn't seem to have great odds in that fight - but it's hard to know for sure with this pesky Bard. His Strife Deck contains plenty of cards we haven't seen, and whatever he did to the Black King is still shrouded in mystery. Everything's just so uncertain with him.

@mimescantscream asked: I've really been holding back all this time, but now that we've met the Grand-highblood, it really is extra painful to see a Gamzee who was once incredibly loving of his friends (despite their constant ridicule) end up falling down the path that fate seems to have pre-ordained for him. Was he truly always meant to repeat echoes of the past? Could things ever have gone differently for him?

Yeah, I've been having similar thoughts. His PoV seemed completely sincere, so I don't think his original personality was a fabrication, or anything. I think there is a part of Gamzee that cares about his friends - and maybe even he wants it back.

@jade-harley-real asked: […] I want a rant on the bad doctor from you pls pls pls

Scratch is straight up the scariest character in Homestuck.

What's he up to now? Hard to say since we're not telling him what to do. Guardians can never be told what to do.

The aura of menace he's cultivated is incredible, especially considering he barely even moves. He's playing the entire cast like a fiddle, armed with nothing but a typewriter and his own supercharged brain - and there's no doubt in my mind that his confidence isn't a mask. He knows he's going to win in the end.

English is coming. He's basically already here.

@elkian asked: I'll probably never be a Vriska FAN, but I gotta admit, she really never had a chance, what with the only adults in her life being: a trollvorous spider 1 missed meal away from eating her, Marquise "I do what I want" Mindfang, and Doc Scratch. Some role models! @manorinthewoods asked: So, now that Mindfang has been revealed, here's a question for you: how much of Vriska's Vriskyness is because she's Vriska, how much is because of Mindfang, how much is because of her lusus, and how much is because of Alternia in general? ~LOSS (20/6/24)

This is why I don't think she'd be like this on Earth. At this point, it's obvious that none of her Incidents were the result of her personality as it naturally arose.

I mean, look how anti-Aradiacide she was! They weren't even really friends!

Anonymous asked: ‘AA: there are all sorts of friends to meet AA: ones you already know and ones you dont’ I mean…couldn’t she just be referring to various doomed selves? I don’t see why the dream bubbles would just be confined to the alpha timeline seeing as the furthest ring is weird in terms of time and space

I was assuming that only Alpha Timeline deaths would be preserved by the Bubbles, but you're right - I'm not sure that was a reasonable assumption.

The Horrorterrors seem to eschew the concept of the Alpha Timeline. and, they've coordinated with both Doomed and Alpha versions of Rose and Dave. Plus, yeah, there is no time in the Ring, so timelines are probably meaningless there. Why would it only interface with the Alpha?

If the Bubbles do preserve doomed souls, then we might also run into the John who died to Typheus, and the Jade he couldn't save. That's a pair of ghosts I'd be very interested to meet.

Anonymous asked: If every Aradia comes back from every doomed timeline, the number would double each time, so you could get over a thousand of her with only ten doomed timelines.

Fair point- although, if an already doomed Aradia went back in time again, she'd be double doomed. Is that even possible? Would she die twice as quickly?

@mhafanlol2000 asked: Your issues with quirks and speech-to-text are pretty simple to explain. If a troll were to speak into a non-modified speech-to-text program, it would output text with their quirk. Because they, quite literally, speak in their quirk. Terezi probably isnt actually saying “YOU H4V3 LOST TH3 G4M3”, each number at a time, but the vibes are definitely there. I don’t know, this is hard to describe if you don’t inherently get it.

I think, jokes aside, it is indeed about the vibes.

In the troll intro pages, you get told a little about how each troll talks, and I think that's how we're supposed to translate their quirks to an audible medium.

Anonymous asked: i think ppl in the fandom have over time kinda built up a like, generally separate understanding of quadrants from how theyre described in the "official" explanation. which is like, not representative of how these terms are used in homestuck, but probably more useful for describing Good relationships that Do Not Suck. like basically making moirails equivalent to being queer platonic partners, making blackrom more about having a healthy fun rivalry, that kinda stuff.

It's funny, actually - I don't think I've encountered a single asker who accepts the quadrants as they're originally described.

The main issue is that, with the possible exception of matespritship, we haven't seen a single troll relationship with reflects the infodump's explanation of the quadrants. I think Hussie might just have jumped the gun a little when dropping it.

Anonymous asked: Shoutout to Karkat poking his friends in the background! Terezi (crying over Dave) and now Soloux (talking to Terezi). Karkat isn’t sure what the right response is but wants to be included! Reminds me of actual cats, just putting a paw on you for no discernible reason. @manorinthewoods asked: I'd like to note that Karkat poking Terezi's tears is the same sprite (and same 'poooke'!) as Karkat poking Sollux's burnt-out eyesockets. ~LOSS (12/6/24)

My man just likes poking.

@alicesoinions asked: not much to say just wanted to say I really enjoy your liveblog!!

Glad you're enjoying!

I've actually got a few new followers recently. Maybe I'm showing up in people's recommendations?

@heliotropopause asked: Dream bubbles are pretty neat, eh? Neat enough to inspire half of HtN, I'd bet.

…wait.

Oh my god, you're right. It's literally a River Bubble. They're both located in afterlives, for crying out loud!

Anonymous asked: Wanted to thank your liveblog for reminding me of a lot that I had flat out missed in canon, due to not putting it together or just reading too quickly. Most recently and notably on my mind right now, is that Feferi is the one who set up the dreambubbles!!! I had always thought that they were just a part of the world that readers didn’t know about yet, like how we weren’t yet introduced to Alternia and it’s moons until act 5. This went right over my head and it has me absolutely REELING (fishing pun included just for fef!!)

Feferi truly is the MVP.

I wonder what happened to dead Players before the Bubbles?

They're certainly not the only type of afterlife in the multiverse. Alternia has at least two types of undead, which implies that the Players are very, very lucky to have retained their personhood postmortem. Imagine this was what Feferi looked like in Jade's dream.

Anonymous asked: Knowing sollux, he probably already had coded his tech to recognize if his speech ever changed, and gave himself a different typing quirk for it, long ago. Not because he knew or thought it would happen, but because he thought it would be a fun coding project ((I know nothing about coding))

And yet, you somehow know exactly how we think.

Anonymous asked: Something I hadn’t really thought about, until I started reading this liveblog, is how much VRISKA ((autocorrect decided to caps that and I’m leaving it in lol)) was manipul8ted into a lot of her violence. Scratch pushed her towards vengeance against Aradia, and she didn’t want to go through with it. Did VRISKA ever tell anyone how much of her live she spent resisting these forces, or even really acknowledge it? She didn’t hide Spidermom, and arguably her need to kill other trolls was to prevent herself from being killed. BUT on the other hand, VRISKA voice would make it sound like a compliment “I almost didn’t kill you why don’t you appreciate me!!!!!!!!”

The thing is, VRISKA probably felt a lot of social pressure not to tell people she was coerced into her crimes. That would reveal that she was reluctant to kill, which is the opposite of what the Empire wants.

@manorinthewoods asked: You could have written a great Homestuck if you'd been Hussie. I think your style, if translated from reacting-to-comic to making-comic, would work great with what Homestuck is, and could have made a better product. I think you'd make a cerebral Homestuck, which would have been cool to read, except I would have botched reading it like I botched reading Homestuck in our Alpha Timeline. ~LOSS (11/6/24)

Thank you! I've tried to write before, actually, but whenever I reread my stories, they come off as esoteric, stilted and a little hard to follow. It's not an insurmountable problem, of course, and I really need to take a writing workshop at some point.

I'd love to make a webcomic, too, but my art also leaves a lot to be desired. I can adapt sprites just fine, but original drawings are hard, guys. Did anyone else know about this?

Anonymous asked: i counted just now, and only like 24 out of all 54 paradox space comics have zero spoilers. some of them are certainly more substantial than others (e.g. i counted ones that include jade’s consorts that you havent seen yet as spoilers) but a lot of them have Very Big Spoilers

It would have been awfully messy. I'm probably just going to read it once I've reached the Gigapause of 2013, and no longer need to worry about spoilers.

@bladekindeyewear asked: “Nepeta wasn't trying to pacify Equius, nor did she seem to be fulfilling any rigidly defined 'role' in his life. They just came off as very good friends, and their relationship was much better for it.” Well, maybe we ought to look at it through the lens of real relationships between friends? Once a healthy dynamic and boundaries are established, perhaps Moirails stabilize as long as they’re together.

That's a good way to interpret moirallegence - although, it does raise an issue with the quadrant that I'll be discussing on its own post, once I've finished the comp. There's no point in prehashing what I'm about to say, so I'll see you there!

Anonymous asked: karkats message didn't go through because of trollians narrative awareness feature, where it'll display something different in service of one of the several "all"-seeing entities, of which the reader is one <3 watsonian and doylist explanations are kissing with tongue

Since the fourth wall is an actual, physical piece of technology in this world, this isn't even that far-fetched!

@sashonya asked: So, as the session's timers continues to count down, what do you think will happen after The Scratch?

Beyond 'the session ends', it's difficult to say for sure. I think the two most likely possibilities are that the kids start exploring other sessions, or travel to a location completely outside the current scope of the comic. I am, of course, hoping for both.

@ericvilas asked: "I still believe that out of all the trolls, Karkat’s traits were featured the most prominently in humanity" yeah, I guess even humans aren't free from the effects of carcinization

CG: THERE IS ONLY ONE STEP. CG: AND IT IS ME.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

i am so in love with your comfort one shots. Can you write one about reader's mom is sick and y/n is worried and chris is there for reader because y/n is scared?

Going through that right now with my mom, she is in the ICU right now ;(

Forever by my side

PAIRING | Fiancé!Chris Evans x Fiancée!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 1.6K

SUMMARY | Your mom took a nasty fall down the stairs, and you're rushing to get back home. You don't have a way of contacting Chris, but when he shows up at the airport to be by your side, you know exactly why you said yes to this man when he asked you to marry him.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Hurt/comfort, mentions of a bad fall, broken bones, lots of tears and even more tooth rotting fluff at the end.

A/N | I'm so sorry to hear about your mom being in the ICU; I wish I could give you the biggest hug! (Or send Chris your way for an even bigger hug 👀), I hope she will quickly recover and be out of the ICU soon! Hopefully, this will be the comfort you are looking for right now, and I wish for this to make you feel a little bit better 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs would be very much appreciated 🩷

Divider is made by @firefly-graphics | 18+ banner is made by yours truly

Main Masterlist | Chris Evans Masterlist

Today is just a regular day at work filled with meetings, lots of paperwork, and even more meetings. This all changed when you suddenly got a phone call from your Dad because he only calls you at work when it's an absolute emergency.

You run out of the meeting room after excusing yourself before picking up.

''Dad? Is everything okay?'' you say when the door behind you is closed.

''Hi Darling, I'm sorry to bother you at work, but your mom just had a terrible fall down the stairs after she slipped, and she got taken to the hospital with an ambulance,'' he says, and the words don't seem to get through after ''bad fall''.

The world comes to a stop all around you, and your breathing gets quicker while the world around you seems to go in slow motion. Your phone drops out of your hand, shattering as it hits the ground below.

The only sound coming from you was a broken sob as you sank onto your knees, and your colleague rushed over to you to comfort you.

''What happened?'' she asks, but it sounds like you're underwater, and her words don't really register with you.

''M-my mom...'' you croak out, and you completely break down right then and there, not caring who sees or hears you. The woman you love and adore shouldn't be in the hospital, yet there she is right now.

''Y/N?'' your Mom asks as she walks into your room. ''Are you awake, Honey?'' she asks, and you stretch as she walks in.

''Mornin' Mom,'' you say, followed by a yawn.

''How was your last night in your parents' house?'' she asks with a big grin and a small tear. This afternoon you're moving to the other side of the country for a new job opportunity.

''Weird, but overall, I slept okay,'' you tell her as you sit up. You love these conversations in the morning, and your Mom was there every single morning without fail.

''Good, I'm glad to hear it. Now, shall we head down for some breakfast before your flight?'' your Mom asks, and you nod. She leaves the room, and you pick up the outfit that you laid out the night before, stepping into it.

''Is our girl ready for our last breakfast before moving to Boston?!'' your Dad asks, and you chuckle. ''Yeah, I am! Hit me with those waffles!'' you say as you sit down.

The conversation over breakfast is light and exactly what you need right now. The tears and heavy conversations would be saved for the airport.

Your parents decided to drive you to the airport to say goodbye to their last daughter, who would officially move out of the house in a few hours.

It wasn't too bad when it was time to say goodbye to your Dad; a few tears were shed, but nothing compared to your Mom. 

''Honey, please promise me you will take care of yourself and that you will call me as soon as you land, okay?'' she says as she pulls you into a bone-crushing hug.

''I promise, Mom, please don't worry about me. You know I'll be fine,'' you tell her, trying to fight the tears - without success.

''I love you so much, Honey, and I wish you all the luck in the world in Boston,'' she says, unable to fight back her tears.

The two of you fell into each other's arms and sobbed loudly until it was time for you to leave, and you waved goodbye with tears streaming down your face.

This is definitely the hardest goodbye you have ever had to go through.

Somehow you made your way to the airport in one piece, already waiting on the first flight home. Suddenly it occurred to you that you must inform Chris; you can't return to your parents without him.

You realize what has happened to your phone and can't reach him at that moment. When you started panicking about how to call him, you heard his voice through the airport.

''Y/N!'' he shouted, and it echoed through the airport. ''Y/N, where are you!'' he said again, and you quickly stood up to follow where the voice came from.

''Chris? How did you-'' is all you say before he reaches you and envelops you in a big hug.

''It's okay, Bubby, everything will be okay,'' he shushes you as you rock back and forth while you completely break down in his arms.

When you had calmed down a little, Chris went to grab a water bottle and got recognized by some fans, but he politely told them that now wasn't a good time for a photo, but he did sign some quick autographs.

He returns with 2 bottles of water and hands one to you before twisting the other for himself.

''What happened?'' he asks as he sits beside you.

''My Dad called and said she was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, she had a nasty fall down the stairs and broke many bones, and she was unconscious when the ambulance arrived,'' you tell him as he pulls you in for a big hug.

''She's going to be okay, Bubby. She's a lot stronger than she looks,'' he tells you, and you know he's right.

''I'm glad to have you by my side, and I think they would be pleased to see you again,'' you tell him, thinking back to the first time they met Chris.

''Are you ready to meet them?'' you ask, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

''As ready as I'll ever be,'' he sighs as the two of you head into your parents' house. You have been together for nearly 6 months, and they invited both of you over for a family dinner.

''Good afternoon, I'm Chris,'' he says as he introduces himself to your parents.

''Oh, Y/N, you didn't mention you're dating the famous Chris Evans!'' your Mom joked, knowing full well you told them to prepare them.

''Just kidding, Chris, Y/N has told us all about you. It's nice to finally meet the man who makes her look like she's glowing,'' she says, and you have the widest smile on your face.

''I told you they'd like you!'' you say as the two of you walk out to the garden, ready to meet the rest of the family too.

''Yeah, yeah, you were right!'' he says before leaning down and giving you a soft peck on your lips.

The flight went on without a hitch, and before you knew it, you were in your Dad's arms, crying as you finally felt the release of being back home and back with your Mom.

''Darling, thank you so much for coming, and you too, Chris,'' he says as he nods to him.

''Anything for Y/N, and of course, you and Lily, too,'' he says. He walks over to both of you and softly brushes your hair out of your face before kissing the top of your head.

''When can we go see her?'' you ask, and your Dad tells you it should be soon.

''I believe she's coming out of surgery at any moment now,'' he says, and you nod before sitting down with either one of them on your sides.

You reach out for both of their hands, and your gaze is fixed on the door; Chris strokes your hand softly with his thumb.

After what seems like an eternity, she gets wheeled through the doors, and you shoot up, practically running to her with tears streaming down your face again.

''Mom! Mom, I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you when you fell. But I'm here now, and I won't leave your side until you're all better,'' you ramble, even though she's not even conscious yet.

''Bubby, come on. Let's sit by her bed until she wakes up, okay?'' Chris says, and you nod, letting the nurse put the bed into place.

Chris sinks into one of the chairs beside the bed and pulls you onto his lap so you're sitting sideways on his thighs. Your head is leaning against his shoulder, and after all the stress and not knowing, you slowly drift off to sleep in the warmth and safety of Chris' arms.

''Bubby, wake up,'' he says softly after about 2 hours; he and your Dad have been wrapped up in conversations the entire time you were asleep, careful not to wake you.

''Honey? Is that you?'' you hear, and suddenly you're wide awake and next to your Mom's hospital bed.

''Mom, I'm here. You're okay, you took a bad fall down the stairs, but you're going to make a full recovery,'' you tell her while you hold her hand.

''Chris is here too, and Dad as well,'' you tell her, and she slowly turns her head.

''Hi, Lily; I'm sorry about what happened”, Chris says as he walks over to hold your Mom's hand.

''You have always been my favorite son-in-law, you know that?'' she says, and all three of you burst out in laughter. ''What's so funny?'' your Mom asks, and you're just happy she can still joke.

''I missed you so much, and I love you, Mom,'' you tell her and give her a soft kiss on her forehead.

''I love you too, Honey. Thank you for coming all this way to see me,'' she says, and the rest of the night is spent in light conversations and laughter until it is time to go home.

''Do you two want to sleep in your old room, or will you book a hotel?'' your Dad asks.

''We will stay with you, but only if we get waffles in the morning!'' you tell him, and he agrees.

''Deal,'' he says, and all three of you walk out of the hospital and to the car, all in dire need of rest.

''I love you, Chris. Thank you for being here with me,'' you say as he hugs you again.

''There's nowhere else I'd rather be,'' he says before kissing your lips passionately, lovingly.

[goldenheart-supremacy]

Nimona AU - How to train your Dragon

@kestrel-wylde I kinda went nuts here...

During a dragon raid, the chief of Berk, Valerin's husband died.

They were both alternating battling dragons and helping their people.

When Valerin found her dead husband's body, she saw that he'd been burned badly.

Then she found that the reason his arms were tucked into himself was because he had been doing his best to protect a small bundle in his arms.

It was a baby. Since his parents seemed to have died in the raid as well, Valerin had decided to take the child under her care and adopted him since she and her husband haven't the chance to conceive yet.

Time skip to the future.

Ballister was an only child to his biological parents but if he ever did have siblings, he would've been considered the 'runt of the litter', as he didn't seem as well built for a Viking child his age.

At least, compared to the other Viking children his age.

Maybe Valerin and Ballister has a better relationship than Stoick and Hiccup did in the start of this AU story.

The conflict for Ballister is getting the village to accept his as the chiefess's scion and future chief.

Maybe when Ballister finds out and starts training Nimona, his reason for wanting to keep the secret is as to not make his reputation worse. [I don't know yet how he ends up injuring her like Hiccup did Toothless in the movie]

I just added my OCs for more character dynamics, like the original team had in the movie but feel free to use them or not or make your own OPs for the AU hahaha 😆

Some dialogue ideas...

Ballister, voiceover as a narrator: [Tomorrow, when training begins, I'm going to prove myself and show that I can stand at par with the others. Aerin Shieldstone, Connor Silverlock, Todd Sureblade, Abigail Swiftfeet, Atticus Valorarm and...]

Ambrosius was running away from some dragons, and he jumped over some barrels as a Zippleback launched a fireball at him.

Ballister, in a dreamily way: [... Ambrosius...]

Avoiding the impact of the blast, Ambrosius used the remaining leverage from jumping over the barrels to backflip away and ended up landing unto Ballister's arms...

Ambrosius, grinning: Good looking out, Bal.

Ambrosius pinches Ballister's cheek affectionately before leaping out of his arms, grabbing his axe and a bucket to see if there's anywhere else he needs to be...

Ambrosius: Look alive, Bal! Let's get rid of these beasts! Ballister, grabbing a sword: Right behind you, Ambs!

Trainer: Behind these doors are just a few of the many species you will learn to fight! The Deadly Nadder! Atticus, mumbling: Speed: eight; Armor: sixteen. Trainer: The Hideous Zippleback! Atticus: Plus eleven stealth times two. Trainer: ...The Monstrous Nightmare! Atticus: Firepower: fifteen. Trainer: The Terrible Terror! Atticus: Attack: eight; Venom: twelve! Trainer: CAN YOU STOP THAT?! Trainer, sighing: And the Gronkle. Atticus, more quietly: Jaw strength: eight. Connor, smirking: Someone's done some advanced reading... Ambrosius, chuckling: Only about a lot, too Atticus, smiling sheepishly: I read the book seven times. Ambrosius and Connor: Wow.

During training with the Gronkle to avoid getting hit...

Aerin, keeping his eyes on the Gronkle's location: Todd, keeping his eyes on Aerin: So, I moved to my parent's basement. Todd: Got some weights in there, you should come over some time to work out. Aerin, barrel rolls away: Todd, calling out to him: You look like you work out!

Then, the Gronkle hits a shot on the spot Todd was standing at...

Aerin and Connor - my OCs, besties Atticus and Abigail - OCs I remembered reading from your fic 'Love At First Fight', I just gave Atticus a temporary last name. Unless, you know, @kestrel-wylde wants to make it final haha I didn't write Abigal yet since I don't know much how to write the character. Atticus is based off the otter knight from the movie, so I kinda headcanon him as someone nerdy with animal facts, so I made him like Fishlegs here.

Edit: Please check out Kestrel's Httyd Nimona AU art!

[wolfegoddess]

Tw: DARK FIC, grief, hair loss, suicidal thoughts, suicide, angst, nothing but sad feels.

WC:1033

Please don't read this if you are uncomfortable with these topics or they will trigger you. There are lots of other amazing stories out here you can check out instead and your mental health is important!

I blame my friends for telling me about the brought back wrong au.

AO3 link

Law couldn't bear to be without you but you weren't you anymore. Just a broken shell in a decaying body. He couldn't help the choked out sob that broke free as he ran his trembling digits through your hair only to find a handful of it in his hand. You deserved better than this. Better than being forced to decay just because he didn't want to lose you. For a moment he contemplated trying to use the true power of his devil fruit to give you eternal life at the cost of his own but he knew you'd probably throw yourself to sea if you came back and he was dead.

If it even worked.

Though, would it truly be so terrible? To be dead alongside you? To take your hand in his once more in whatever journey lies beyond this life? Law didn't even feel alive anymore without you by his side. The others would be heartbroken but they'd move on, find another crew or just keep on the journey themselves.

Law glanced out over the cliff he was sitting with you on, the polar tang resembled an ant with how far away it was down the beach. Would they see him jump with you? Would they hate him for leaving? He wouldn't blame them.

He hoped they wouldn't.

His gaze fell to your face, searching for any sign you were there yet the once familiar warmth in your gaze was dull and unblinking. The only sign you were even alive was the slow and Shakey rise and fall of your pale blue and purple chest. You had lost so much weight yet never once did your stomach growl for sustanance. Law bit his bottom lip until he tasted blood, trying his best to hold himself together. After a few moments he began to speak to you even though he knew you'd never respond.

"You know, I was trying my best to avoid you when I first let you join the crew..You were just so pure and different then the others and myself and it scared me how easily my heart soared the first time you smiled at me once you stepped on the polar tangs deck. The way you always took care of everyone and took on the chores nobody else wanted to do made me so angry. I could tell you were just trying to be helpful but I wanted you to be more selfish. It felt like you didn't think you belonged."

Law stopped for a moment to run a hand down your cold cheek, thumb gently tracing the shape of your nose before it moved down to trace your chapped lips. He knew if you could see him now you'd probably cry yourself. Law hadn't been sleeping much at all. His eyes were almost constantly bloodshot from crying and his eye bags were darker then they'd ever been. His once toned body was nearly skin and bones because he could barely bring himself to eat.

Everything he tried to eat tasted rotten, like it wasn't meant for him to consume. Nothing could compare to the food you made anyways, not even the idiot cook on the straw hats crew could get him to eat much. He choked back another sob as he cradled your face in his hands and leaned in to rest his forehead against your own as he continued on.

"But then when I finally got the nerve to call you into my office and ask about it you looked at me with such sureness and told me you knew you belonged because I chose you. You told me you had been invited to Luffy-Ya's crew after I asked you to join and you chose me. I was flabbergasted, and if I'm honest with you it was in that moment I knew I had fallen for you. That terrified me so I became more distant yet you didn't push me, you waited so patiently for me to get my head out of my ass and come to you. I never told you but you were my first for a lot of things. You changed me so much for the better. You taught me how to really live again once I'd completed my goal. I wish I'd of told you then how I felt so we could have had more time together. So I could have really made you feel treasured. I'm sorry I worked so much and put you second. I should have took you out every time we docked and spoiled you rotten. You deserved so much better than me and yet you loved me and never once complained about a single thing."

Tears fell to your cheek as he silently cried, the knot in his throat nearing it's breaking point. He was so tired, tired of crying. Tired of the repeating nightmare that was the moment you jumped in front of him to save him from the enemies attack that left him alive kneeling on the dirt and you dead on impact. Law kissed your forehead gently before trailing kisses down to your lips. His next sentence came out broken and hoarse.

"You were selfish, selfish for giving your life up for mine and I'm sorry that I'm too selfish to live without you."

"I'm sorry but this is where we part ways guys. Take care of yourselves and don't cry too much, especially you Bepo."

Law took his hat off and sat it beside his blade before he moved to pick you up bridal style and cradled your head in the crook of his neck. He slowly carried you to the cliffs and stopped, glancing from your dead gaze to the jagged rocks below before finally settling on the distant image of the Polar Tang with a sad smile.

With his final goodbyes whispered to the wind Law let his gaze fall back to your lifeless one. Even in your zombie-like state he couldn't help but to think the sunrise still looked beautiful in your eyes. He kissed you again, holding you just a little tighter as he stepped off the edge without another sound, eagerly awaiting your soft embrace in the afterlife.

[helluva-dump]

At this point, the hazbin/helluva critical community has fallen flat. And when I say that, I mean that it lacks potential. Like, I thought we were criticizing about the characters and the show itself. I thought we were talking about it's issues and what Viv could approve on it. But now, these people are just targeting fans of Viv's show who are just going on about their day, taking screenshots of harmful posts and posting it on the critical blog just to shit on them. You can't even consider that "critical" now when you're just being an asshole. They wonder why Viv and her fans think the critics are so bad. On top of that, these people love to make assumptions about Viv harassing Gooseworx all because she's a "terrible person" like please stfu. "She probably did this" and they don't even have any proof. Maybe consider that Viv actually enjoys tadc and it's success? What is all of this "viv is mad because the amazing digital circus is more successful than her shitty shows"? I dunno, man. That critical community is just so fucking dumb and stupid. They're not even talking about the shows anymore. They just bitch and fuss about everything.

For real, I had never seen such a critical community this much of a train wreck as the fandom is.

I mean hell, I engaged with the SVTFOE community before (and that show has the EXACT same problems as Helluva boss) and the critical blogs were very chill.

I feel like what didn’t help is how immature and unprofessional Vivziepop acts publicly. But at the same time…. I can’t really blame her for getting defensive when these antis dogpile her on everything.

And yes, the screenshots making fun of harmless posts of fans were red flags to me. Like dude, we have rabid fans and Stans do that to us, why the hell are you stopping to their level??? (I’m not gonna include the voodoo controversy because that to me needed to be talked about. A lot of POC fans and criticals had every right to discuss that and Viv should had given an apology or explanation over that. With closed religions that always got stereotypes due to colonizers, you need to be careful when writing about them. )

Oh God don’t get me started on the whole Vivziepop and Gooseworks relationship assumptions… that actually annoyed me too and I’m sure there’s no bad blood with them. I get she had bad blood with Tracey and possibly Ashley, but I don’t think it’s fair to assume she’s like this with every indie creator.

Honestly, its both of their fandoms that are acting unhinged. But I even seen hardcore fans of Viv like Dani praising TADC and Gooseworks, so I doubt the whole fandom are planning to sabotage them. TADC isn’t a rain full of sunshine either, they too have so much bad apples there.

Also my big issue with this community I’ve noted some critical blogs that claim they wanna make an original series (well one already made a webcomic) but they NEVER stop bitching about Viv and go on and on how they never do this to their project… unmmm dude? If you constantly compare your project to Viv’s, your gonna lose your audience this way. This can make you come off as an a logger and a very petty person to others. Trust me, this is NOT going to make people want to be interested in your original projects.

It’s also very unprofessional to do this publicly. I get looking at bad writing motivates you how to not to things… but the constant comparing is going to make you look like a very petty person to your outside audience. And they feel like your project won’t have agency on its own without being “better than Helluva/Hazbin.” I say this because I too am working on an indie project I want to make to a webcomic. And I REALLY don’t wanna ruin my reputation that way.

That’s what Zeartist did when he made his shitty ass books and would constantly hitch and whine about twilight on his life journals. And he would always bring up his original series and how it’s “better” and how he wouldn’t write such garbage like Stephanie Meyer.

And guess what???? His books are just twilight 2.0 but even worse 😂😂😂 he ended up doing the exact same thing stephanie did, bitches out over criticism, and yeah a huge hypocritical asshat.

That’s why constantly comparing your project to another person’s to seen as better is NOT a smart idea. Please have some self awareness there if your actually planning to make a webcomic or an original series.

Also… I’ve noticed people that have beautiful startled would waste it on blind hatred. Like that “I HAtE VIVZIEPOP” blog. Like godamn, their art is beautiful but they had an unhealthy hate obsession with Viv… why waste your energy on that when you can make something better?

I’m not talking about rewrites, AUs, or redesigns because to me those are like fanfics and for fun. The stuff I do is mainly just for fanfic fun and a writing/world building exercise for me. But also a little bit of self indulgence since I sitll admire Viv’s characters. You can enjoy something without giving your support to the actual creator. I’m trying to show my support to the team behind it.

(I’m even planning to buy fan merch from one of the clean up artists on their shop. To me it’s the ethical way of getting Hazbin/Helluva merch without directly giving it to Viv but to her artists instead. )

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

What are you main thoughts on arc v and what you like and don’t like about it?

*Cries out in agony*

Okay fine I'll talk about Arc V.

So... I don't know/remember if this has necessarily been a trend on Tumblr the way it has been in my Discord circles but uh... I have a habit of referring to Arc V as my least favourite Yugioh series.

Now let me clarify. By "least favourite" I do not and never have meant "worst". I have stated before that I love every current Yugioh series and believe they all have entertainment value.

Arc V is not a bad series. It has a lot of genuine merit that I would be remiss not to talk about.

That being said, my overview is going to be critical so don't like? Don't read.

1 The duels, even if they were starting to get a little too complicated by this point, are very fun and breathe life into match ups I otherwise wouldn't care for. Looking at the Arc V duels purely based on the cards and plays, I'd say they're a step up from the overly boss monster reliant but otherwise decent Zexal duels and leagues above the slog-fest overly complicated combo ridden duels of VRAINS.

2 The first season of this show is legitimately fantastic. It has some occasional whatever filler episodes here and there but overall it sets up the characters and story really well and is just fun and engaging to watch in general.

3 The way this series depicts the horrors of war, and how it's not necessarily a black and white issue. Arc V takes a more nuanced approach to this and shows characters being groomed or brainwashed into the cause on both sides, not just the fusion dimension. Serena, Sora, Dennis, Reira, even Yuri to an extent that the show didn't show too well- they're all just children forced to fight in a horrible war and Serena, Sora, and Dennis in particular have really interesting arcs and such fun personalities that they are among my favourites in the show.

4 The foreshadowing and ultimate payoff of certain elements is really satisfying and on my first viewing, eclipsed a lot of the problems Arc V had. The show truly does feel grand and epic and the ultimate reveal of the backstory, Zarc and Ray's stories, how the dimensions split, all of that is really well done and interesting and definitely the most interesting parts of the show on rewatches. But... speaking of rewatches...

I'll admit, I really loved Arc V when I first saw it and declared it my second favorite Yugioh series at the time, beating out Zexal and DM but not GX. It was when I rewatched Arc V that the cracks showed and... my god were they big cracks.

Rewatching the Synchro dimension arc after finally watching and liking 5Ds made me notice how much of the unique riding/turbo dueling elements were taken out in favor of just regular dueling on motorcycles with the occasional action card. But that's a small issue compared to how terrible the social commentary aspects were in the Synchro arc, even without comparing it to 5Ds.

Oh Shinji how they dropped the ball with you.

I'll try to keep this brief but I think the fact that the Synchro arc demonized protesters is incredibly disgusting. And sure, you can claim that the protesters weren't demonized specifically for rioting but for wanting to oppress the rich but you know what? Making all of the protesters, who had very valid reasons to protest by the way, out to just be trying to oppress the rich is still disgusting and I hate it. The way the narrative presents it, it really feels to me like this arc ends with Yuya ultimately forcing his "never fight, only pacifism" beliefs onto LEGITIMATELY OPPRESSED PEOPLE WHO WERE FIGHTING FOR THEIR RIGHTS only to be told "no no no, just talk to your oppressors instead!" which historically, DOES NOT WORK and is a disgusting message to perpetuate, even if it wasn't what the show intended. And this Yuya problem of forcing his ideals onto others along with his character development going in circles are things that do not go away after this. It's a problem with the entire show after the first season and the reason I don't really like canon Yuya very much.

All of this, and also Yuzu's character being destroyed, kills that part of the Synchro arc for me, which is a HUGE part, and the fact that very little actually happens to progress the overall plot for this entire THIRD OF THE SHOW is really frustrating. There's some character development here and there, some arcs being less useless than others, but in terms of major events for the overall story, it really feels like the plot just comes to a screeching halt for most of this arc, with the only things that happen being Serena and Yuzu getting kidnapped, Dennis's betrayal, and Sora's honestly kinda rushed but still decent redemption. So nearly an entire third of the show is both a boring or enraging slog AND doesn't further the overall story I was actually interested in. GREAT.

Also I hate Roget. I don't have any deeper analysis there, I just hate his guts and not in a fun love to hate villain way like Amon from GX. I just hate him and wish he wasn't in this show.

So... the first third of Arc V is great and the second third throws a lot of what made that first third great into the garbage and is so frustrating that I've declared it my most hated Yugioh arc in all eight shows so far. So... where does that leave the final third that most people seem to hate?

...to be honest, I'm in a weird middle ground where I find this final section of Arc V to be both underrated and also not very good. It's... a mixed bag. I have a lot of the same problems with it that most do: the way the show dropped the ball with Reira's arc, Leo Akaba getting off scott-free for being a war-mongering genocidal maniac, the non Yuya and Yuzu yu-boys and bracelet girls becoming irrelevant the way they were by the end, Rin and Ruri getting pretty much nothing but macguffin status, the creepy mind control shit in general, the Battle Beast arc. Just. The stupid ass Battle Beast arc.

Fuck this arc.

And I have some problems that I feel might be unique to me but are major all the same: the legacy characters, especially Asuka and Edo, being poorly written with Asuka overshadowing Yuzu then being sidelined and treated horribly in her duel with Yuri (still one of my most hated duels in the entire franchise) and Edo being incredibly inaccurate to and disingenuous of his character in GX with his arc being incredibly rushed and also feeding into that Yuya problem of insisting "pacifism will resolve everything!" that I mentioned earlier which also logically should not have worked on this version Edo.

Basically, I DESPISE these duels:

And on top of all of that, I don't like the Z-Arc duel. It's got some funny moments in the dub and I like the concept of it but it just goes on for way too long. For how many characters butt into this thing and how obvious it is that none of them are gonna win until Reira steps up (shouldn't have been her, should've been the bracelet girls or actually Ray in some form) it goes on for so damn long and it's just not fun. I feel no desire to rewatch this thing.

Soooo why did I say this arc was a mixed bag when I've had so many negative things to say about it? Honestly, it's just a lot more fun to watch than Synchro arc was. There's more variety in locations, it's not a tournament so the match ups are more surprising and varied, and like I said earlier, the pay off to all the foreshadowing, mostly from the first arc, is really strong. The grander story is back in focus and there are more good character moments sprinkled throughout than there were in Synchro arc. I don't care for Kaito that much in Arc V, or even Zexal II for that matter, but his duels are still fun to watch, I particularly enjoy his duel with Dennis, if just for Dennis.

And while I don't like how overly long the Z-Arc duel is, I still enjoy parts of it and the build up to it is genuinely fantastic. Nearly everything that happens from the Z-Arc backstory up through Yuri vs Yuya and all the duels in between are quite possibly the peak of the entire show. Declan standing up to his shitty father and reinforcing his loyalty to and belief in Yuya is amazing and exactly what Revolver's arc in VRAINS should've been, I love Declan and Riley's duel, Yuri gets to be a fun villain for a while before getting discarded, it's all really great stuff. Maybe it's partially my Declan bias, I really love him, he's my favourite character in the show, but these duels are peak.

Also, apart from the stupid aspects of the ending that I already discussed, the last eight episodes are just. Genuinely good in my eyes? People say they bring the plot to a screeching halt but to me, those episodes are an epilogue, and a pretty good one for the characters the show kept around. I unequivocally like the way Dennis's arc wraps up. I like Shun's duel with Yuya. Shun having to accept his sister and best friend are gone but finding happiness in knowing they do still live on in a way is pretty much the only good thing to come out of forcefully fusing the Yu-boys and bracelet girls. Also Jack and Yuya having a goddamn interdimensional turbo duel is still one of the coolest concepts for a duel EVER. And Declan vs Yuya right after it is a really fun duel with a very good emotional core. Still absolutely LOVE that moment of Yuya understanding and sympathizing with Z-Arc. All these parts are a great way to wrap up the series, even if a lot of the stuff around it isn't.

It's definitely an arc, and show for that matter, of peaks and valleys and sadly, a lot of those valleys really aren't worth trudging through to get to the peaks for me. Arc V, to a more major extent than 5Ds, is the kind of show that I don't feel compelled rewatch in its entirety, just the parts I really like (or need to rewatch for writing reasons or something).

So overall I do like Arc V but it is the Yugioh series I have the most problems with.

[solarishashernoseinabook]

Solaris reviews To Shape a Dragon's Breath, by Moniquill Blackgoose (2023)

*happy stimming*

Summary: Anequs of Masquapaug finds a dragon egg one day, the first her people have found for generations. When the egg hatches, the dragon chooses Anequs to be her companion. Anequs and the dragon, named Kasaqua, are then forced to attend a coloniser-run dragon school, facing prejudice and setbacks as they try to navigate a society that views Anequs as inherently lesser and dragons as merely a tool. Despite these problems, Anequs must do well - for the sake of her people, and the life of her dragon

Content: It was really good! Strong characters, strong worldbuilding, good lore - there's a lot to recommend in this book. Anequs is an active, determined protagonist, calling out racism, condescension, and revisionist history at every turn, and Kasaqua - a baby dragon throughout the course of the book - was a delight to read

Who I think would like it: Anyone interested in dragons, or looking for a good coming of age story

Things it does well: -copy/pastes the entire text of this 500 page book into a tumblr post- Okay, but seriously, this book handles prejudice and conflict with nuance and care, showing plainly how blatant I-hate-you-because-of-your-skin prejudice is merely one part of a larger problem. It has a canonically autistic character, portrayed with more care, accuracy, and attention to detail than I've ever seen in published fiction. The chapter titles were delightful - each was a short phrase describing the content of the chapter that, if you happened to read them all together, would give you a short summary of the novel. The book has a map, periodic table, and pronunciation guide right at the beginning, all of which were easy to follow

Things that could be improved: I had a bit of trouble following the chemistry in the book - the elements are given fantasy names, which fits the worldbuilding, but meant I had a bit of trouble following what was what. I've only got a high school understanding of chemistry, though, so I'm putting this down as a me problem instead of a problem with Blackgoose's writing

My review: This book was a breath of fresh air, especially compared to the last dragon book I reviewed. This was a book with emotional highs and lows, hard-earned happy endings, and a world that seems to leap off the page with how real it is. Definitely give it a try if dragon stories are your thing. Written by Seaconke Wampanoag author Moniquill Blackgoose, To Shape a Dragon's Breath is a masterfully-written dragonrider fantasy

Does this book have…: ✅= yes ❓= not sure ⭕= possibly/mixed ❌= no Romance? ✅ Anequs develops crushes, and her classmate Marta spends a lot of time discussing the importance of marriage to Anglish society and the need to make a good match Sex? ⭕ References are made to sex - mainly from a particular, rather bigoted character - but they're confined to a handful of scenes Racism? ✅ As mentioned above, Anequs must deal with a lot of racism from the colonisers, and it runs the gamut from outright, vile racism (openly calling her people savage or barely human) to ignorant condescension (charitably saying that Anequs's people are not terrible, they can be civilised if only they work at it!) Sexism? ✅ Anglish society is also highly sexist, another thing Anequs struggles to deal with. None of it is worse than you'd get in any other historical fantasy, though LGBTQIA-phobia? ✅ Anglish society is also homophobic, though it's more referenced rather than any characters actually facing violence for it Ableism? ✅ Sander, our autistic character, faces some ableism from his mother (forcing him to speak instead of letting him write, demanding he stop stimming, etc.), though this is countered by Anequs and Sander's sister fully supporting him Swearing? ❓ ⭕ I don't remember any, so if there was it was pretty minor Drug/Alcohol references? ✅ Characters drink and get mildly intoxicated a few times - mainly when celebrating holidays References to or actual violence or suicide? ✅ Yep. There's many references to war, genocide, brawling, executions, and so on. References to or actual animal death or cruelty? ✅ As per Anglish law, dragons who bind themselves to people considered "unsuitable" are put down. The fear of this happening to Kasaqua is one reason Anequs is so motivated to prove herself to the Anglish and succeed at school

Recommended: Yes

[aces-spade-palace]

A story for those that need it. (TW for depression, suicide, SH, and abuse talk) Life has gotten insanely better since I was younger. When I first found Tumblr, I was a depressed, suicidal pre-teen. Tumblr actually made my life so much worse. I got into the dark side. The self harm side. I would compare myself to others and wish I could do worse. I would starve myself and now I'm paying the price for it. Now I look back and see how bad it was. At the time I had no idea half of what I was doing needed medical attention. Now I look at my scars (since I worked in healthcare for 6 years) and see that I probably should have gotten stitches for many of the things I did. I had attempted. I had wanted to end it all. That continued through high school and into adult hood. I had wanted to end it so many times. I thought I hated my parents when they were trying to do the best for me. I screamed and cried myself to sleep most nights because I just hated being here. I had 7 therapists in 5 years. One trip to the psych ward. I have been in abusive relationships and friendships. Lied to and cheated on. I made terrible decisions that could have killed me and I didn't give a damn. Up until a few years ago, I had thought I would be better off dead. I was also close-minded. I was an asshole and genuinely just a terrible person. Now, I'm 25. I found that I am an agender, queer being who enjoys pole dancing and theatre. I also was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. I am getting married in just a few months. I am working job that I make 50k in without a college degree. I have three cats and we are going to start looking to buy a house after we get married. I am genuinely happy and content with my life. I learned to love myself. Yes, I have my days where I look in the mirror and get dysphoric, I get insecure, but more often that not anymore, I am starting to love myself again. It takes time. A lot of it, but at the end, it is really worth it. YOU do have to put in the work, even if you don't want to, even if you're being forced to, but I promise you that life can be so so worth it. I lived my dream job. I moved out from my parents house and our relationship got better. People have told me they look up to me and that they are proud of me. Yes, boundaries had to be set, my heart had to break on multiple occasions, and I got hurt countless times, but that is a part of healing. The hardest part of it all is doing the things you have to do for yourself. Cutting ties with the people who are genuinely causing you harm, with the things causing you harm, even if you don't realize it. You might feel like you're being selfish, taking care of yourself, but that's because you haven't done that yet. And when I say taking care of yourself, I don't mean go live in the woods in a cabin and hibernate. I mean confronting what is causing you harm. Taking care of your body and mind. Have the difficult conversations, and actually taking steps to improve your wellbeing. No I don't post this to brag, I post it to show that life can change for the better, and it is possible. It just takes work. You got this. My situation is not like everyone else's and I know that. But it is possible to get better, and if no one reads this, that's okay. If only one person reads this and realizes that life can get better, I would be ecstatic. I just want you to know that it is okay to not be okay, and this feeling is temporary. You can do this, and I believe in you. Stay Safe, Stay beautiful, Stay Handsome, Stay Wonderful, and be the best version of you that you can be. You are loved and you are cared for. If you need anything, reach out. I'll be here, and if im not, someone will be here for you.

[shyfairies]

Hello, can I have a matchup please? :3 Romantic please! A guy please!

When it comes to my type, I go for villians most of the time, they are more interesting for me than heroes. I like total opposites of me! I like dangerous characters hehe

My biggest love language is words of affirmation, I would say "I love you" and stuff like that very often. The second one is probably physical touch I am Leo and ExFJ!

About my appearance: -Around 156 cm height -Chubby -brown eyes -chin length hair with bangs -round glasses

I am pretty social, however I prefer to spend time alone! I care about others a lot… To an unhealthy amount honestly but I'm working on it! I care too much about what others feel and think and it's tiring, I just want to be selfish sometimes and care about myself even if it sounds mean. I am most of the time unserious and I love to joke around, serious situations are stressful so I prefer to be joyful, but I do like talking about serious topics (sometimes) I apologize A LOT, I apologize so much that it might too annoying but I always feel a sense of guilt inside of me. I'm also VERY sensitive and worry about everything. Ah and I'm pretty dumb and I am not trying to insult myself I am just silly hehe and I'm okay with that.

I am very sensitive and its easy to make me cry! Someone can be mad at me a bit and I would about to cry already. Cute things makes me also want to cry… Overall like I said I am very sensitive. I feel guilty about everything 24/7 even if I shouldn't feel guilty thats why I apologize so much. I also have anger issues and its very easy to make me angry.

I love horror and scary things! It excites me a lot

Thank you so much and I hope thats not too much info!

i match you with...♡

☆risotto nero☆

first thought was how cute the height difference would be

i definitely think he would love how small you are compared to him

risotto is pretty down to business most the time but you can tell he really cares about his team

it's the same for you but of course he cares about you most!

you'd unlock a different side in him, lowkey i could see him calling you pet names like "my lover" or "dear" without realizing it and then he'd get embarrassed when he does lol

when he's not busy you guys would often have long talks about anything and everything

he's a GREAT listener omg he could listen to you talk for hours

there's definitely no lying to this man, he will see through any facade you put on

he just wants to help you

sometimes when he's had a hard day he might lose his temper and snap at you

he'd immediately realize what he did when he sees your face and instantly feel so terrible

when you apologize to him it crushes his heart because he knows it's not your fault he's mad

not huge on physical touch but he loves to hold you, especially when you're upset

when it comes to bed time i don't think he'd initiate cuddles but if you end up snuggling up to him there is NO WAY that man is pushing you away

when you guys first get together he'd kind of have to get used to saying i love you alot

but with time there will never be a time you say "i love you" and he doesn't say it back

when you guys are out in public you definitely will get him out of his comfort zone but he likes it

he just loves seeing you happy

however he will immediately notice when your social battery is drained and he'll take you somewhere else

"y/n and i have places to be so we'll be going now"

you might be a little worried about what they think but he'll reassure you that it's okay to take time for yourself

lowkey thinks it's cute when you get mad???

will pummel whatever made you mad tho

like if anyone touches you they're done

tends to make insensitive jokes and doesn't realize they're insensitive until he sees the look on your face and the wave of guilt will just wash over him

you might have to give him a lil slap

"sorry amore"

doesn't really care for movies but will watch them with you if you ask

i could see you guys doing matching halloween costumes and him being like "this is so stupid" and you're standing there with a big smile on your face

he just loves you and will do anything to keep you safe and happy❤️(even if he has a hard time showing it)

p.s. OKAY that was my first time writing for risotto so i really hope it's okay😭 i haven't watched part 5 in quite a bit so if it's inaccurate you have my sincerest apologies❤️

[moonchildreads]

small town

Chapter 19 - We Built This City

IN THIS CHAPTER: Finals week, a friendly invitation, and the Hellfire Class of 86' takes a bow [7.6k]

WARNINGS: vague foreshadowing, mentions of fantasy violence? they play dnd, it's not real (again, taking the liberty of making them play 5e because i wasn't about to learn advanced dnd for this when i already play 5e)

A/N: whew! didn't think i'd ever get to finish this one lol. huge HUGE shout out to @gutterratt, who not only is a wonderful friend i was hugging and sharing the same air with just a few days ago, but also my dm (the best dm in the world, don't @ me). this chapter would have been impossible without your guidance, knowledge, and support. thank you for teaching me to dm through eddie. also shout out to brian murphy and NADDPOD for the inspiration for this chapter! check them out on spotify if you like dnd podcasts, they deserve all the love they get. onto the update!

masterlist - prev - next | playlist

We just want to dance here Someone stole the stage They call us irresponsible Write us off the page

Wednesday, May 28th - 1986

Finals week in Hawkins High was going pretty well or terribly wrong depending on who you asked. On Monday, freshman Cindy Jackson had come out of her Geography classroom sobbing, claiming that she had flunked the entire test and her GPA was going to fall drastically below average. Dustin and Mike had simply stepped around her in the hallway and headed to the parking lot to get their bikes without sparing a single thought for her. Eddie couldn’t believe how calm he felt whenever he sat down at his desk and a new test was placed in front of him. By the time Wednesday lunch period was upon them, he had already taken four of his six final exams, Dottie had taken five of her nine, and band practice had been suspended so everyone could study for tomorrow’s new round of tests, or in Eddie’s case, put the finishing touches to their upcoming D&D Friday session.

So far, their plan to stick to each other and not walk around the school alone like sitting ducks for the bullies had been working. Dottie only shared one class with Andy Humphrey, and it seemed that her threat to rat him out to their teacher had worked because no one in the basketball team had bothered them since then. At least, not any more than the usual jeers and disgusted glances they so often directed to her friends in Hellfire. Eddie had been keeping a low profile for the past couple of months, his entire thought process having been claimed by his ever growing crush on a certain short curly-haired girl; his frequent tirades in the cafeteria had been reduced to only one loud proclamation in the hallways every couple of weeks, and to be completely honest, no one cared about him or his unconventional opinions so close to the end of the school year, so him suddenly turning into a wallflower hadn’t really been noteworthy to his peers. Everyone just simply assumed that he was stressed about failing senior year for the third time in a row and left him alone to his devices.

When the group compared schedules on Monday and saw that Dottie was going to be headed to the same lecture as Andy three times that week, it was quickly decided that Donny would be her guardian since his Italian lessons were at the same time she’d be taking AP Spanish in the classroom opposite of his. Dustin and Mike were to be inseparable, and when they had different schedules, Mike was supposed to shadow Nancy as much as he could while Dustin stuck to Jeff on their way to the east wing for their respective classes. Eddie watched over Dottie like a hawk during their shared free periods, going so far as to stand outside the girls’ bathroom while she went about her private business in case any idiot got strange ideas about cornering her in a place where she was supposed to be safe. Ms. Kelly had looked very surprised to see all six boys waiting for Dottie to come out of their latest check-in session; it was strange to see how subdued they had all gotten in recent months and she knew it had everything to do with the sunshine girl that happily linked arms with the freshmen, Dustin excitedly skipping alongside her down the hallway while Mike dragged his feet next to them in protest.

It was, perhaps, that false sense of security that had her approaching the basketball team’s table after students had begun trickling out of the cafeteria, surely headed to their last classes of the day. Donny was supposed to safeguard her on their way to her second AP Spanish class of the week, but he had asked her to please wait for him near the teachers while he excused himself to the bathroom and promptly left her alone. When Dottie realized Andy wasn’t seated at the jock-filled table but one Lucas Sinclair was, she quickly forgot about her friends’ insistent requests to “lay low” until the school year was over and headed towards him without a second thought entering her mind. She stopped right in front of the freshman who eyed her curiously, brows raised in an unspoken question.

“Hi! You’re Lucas, right?” Dottie said, smiling brightly.

“Uh, yeah, I’m Lucas.”

“Nice to meet you! Would you mind giving these to Erica for me, please?” she extended her closed fist towards him and he instinctively held his palm open for her. Two pieces of shiny plastic hit his skin softly; he recognized them as part of his old dice set, the one he assumed had been gathering dust tucked away in his bedroom. “I must have accidentally taken them with me a couple of weeks ago - I would give them to her myself but I won’t see her until Friday and it’d suck if she bought a new set because she thought she lost these.”

“Yeah, that would really suck,” he chuckled uncomfortably, shifting in his seat knowing his new friends were watching the uncommon interaction unfold. “I’ll give them to her for you, don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you so much! Here, for your troubles,” she gave him a pack of Smarties as payment in kind. “See you around!”

“Thanks,” he managed to mutter before she bolted out of the room and into the hallway in search of Donny.

Lucas stared at the candy bag in his hand next to one d20 and one d4 that had belonged to him a couple of months before. They were black with gold numbers that he’d repainted himself with one of Will’s thinnest brushes, trying his hardest to cover the tacky white underneath. He hadn’t opened his D&D box in a while, the hard plastic container hidden away underneath his bed and pushed all the way back until it touched the wall. He’d yell at Erica for touching and stealing his things, but that would have meant admitting that he still cared about the part of him he’d been trying so hard to deny lately and he couldn’t allow himself to fail like that. Lucas was tired of being the bigger man; let his former friends apologize to him for once. Though, as days went on, he was starting to realize that maybe they would never come back at all.

“How do you know that chick?” asked Chance, one of his seniors.

“I don’t,” Lucas replied quickly. “I don’t have classes with her.”

“She’s a senior,” Patrick said. “I’m with her in English. She always sits with that Munson freak.”

“What does she want with you? Who’s Erica?”

“Erica, she’s my little sister. She wanted to return some dice to her, I think they are in a club together, I don’t know,” Lucas said, but he did know. He’d noticed Dottie sitting at lunch with his club members, he’d seen her wearing the same Hellfire shirt he owned, he’d heard Erica talk about her to their Mom. Lucas Sinclair knew exactly who Dorothy Burke was.

“Isn’t your sister like… eight?” Chance laughed.

“Eleven,” the freshman corrected him, but that seemed to peak Jason Carver, the basketball team’s captain’s attention.

“Your little sister is hanging out with those… freaks?” Jason asked, eyebrows bunching together.

“They play board games together, it’s so dumb-”

“She shouldn’t be around them, she’s just a kid. Who knows what they could do to her if… They aren’t good people, they- they could hurt her,” the captain said, tone stern.

“She’ll be fine, they’re just a bunch of nerds-”

“Lucas,” Jason insisted. “You’re a good friend and a good teammate to us. I’m sure you’re a good son to your parents too, but you have to be good to her as well. That’s your duty as her older brother.”

“Yeah, I-” he quickly put away the dice and Smarties in his pocket and nodded. “You’re right, I’ll talk to her about it.”

“You make sure you do that, okay? Take care of her,” the senior said, patting his shoulder in a friendly way and getting up. “Come on, guys, let’s go to class.”

Lucas walked behind his teammates until he reached his classroom and unassumingly disappeared from the group. He took his seat at the back and noticed Mike and Dustin sitting at the front, bickering with one another as usual. Bitterly, he recalled switching seats with the girl who now sat next to Dustin after Spring Break. Jason wasn’t being mean with his warning, he knew that. His captain had siblings too, he knew what being a big brother meant and he extended that same level of protectiveness towards his friends and younger members of the team. Lucas felt grateful that Jason, the current King of Hawkins High, was so willing to look out for not only him, but Erica too, if only because she was related to him. But when Mike snorted loudly at something Dustin had said, he couldn’t help but think that there weren’t people on Earth he would trust more to take care of Erica when he couldn’t watch her than Mike Wheeler and Dustin Henderson. And perhaps Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley too, but they didn’t have to know that, lest their egos got even bigger than they already were.

Friday, May 30th - 1986

The last day of finals week came towards them at neck breaking speed, causing Eddie and Dottie to stick to each other like velcro during the final three hours of the day. During third period, he’d had his Latin exam and she sat with him during every available second prior to it quizzing him on his vocab. After that, they both had had their Calc final, where they sat side by side suffering through it all together. He’d finished before her and quickly returned to his seat, noticing how her nerves seemed to be heightened every time someone got up and was granted permission to head to the cafeteria early. He slipped one of his rings off and slid it across the table until it bumped with her eraser; she smiled, thankful, and put it on her index finger to twirl with her left thumb while she concentrated on the numbers in front of her. After that came lunch and everyone was positively buzzing. Most of the student body had already finished all their exams and there was a sense of freedom in the air, a shared joy that couldn’t enter Dottie’s brain yet as she frantically reviewed her AP Spanish notes for her ninth final exam of the week. One look at her tired, wet eyes after someone had shouted a little bit too loud, and Eddie pulled her out of the room and into the back of his van where she could finally breathe and concentrate on reading her own writing before the bell rang.

After exams were finally over, Eddie headed to the woods to wait for Chrissy who had asked him if she could buy a rather unusual amount of weed considering her casual habits, and Dottie seeked refuge in The Weekly Streak’s newsroom until it was time for Hellfire to begin. She was helping Fred put together a mockup for a story he wanted to present to Nancy the next week when the editor-in-chief herself asked her if she wanted to go to the bathroom. Dottie, being well-versed in girl language, accepted without complaint and followed the blue-eyed girl into the nearest bathroom where she immediately began washing her hands in an attempt to hide the fact that she was so very much nervous about whatever she was about to say.

“Nance? Is everything okay?” Dottie asked, eyeing her carefully.

“Yeah- yes, everything’s okay. I just… I wanted you to know since you were the one that said I should just go for it so… I called Jonathan.”

“Oh,” she said, surprised that she was getting an update on the topic at all.

“We talked and he says he understands that I’m upset. We didn’t break up but we’re going to take a break, officially this time,” Nancy shut off the water tap and stepped to the side to wipe her hands dry with coarse paper towels.

“Well, how do you feel about that?”

“Good, I think. He says he has a job now, and he’ll go full-time for the summer after graduation so he might be able to save up some money to come see me,” she smiled, hope swimming behind her eyes.

“That’s great, Nancy!” Dottie said, giving a big hug to her friend. Nancy went stiff at first but after a second, she breathed out and hugged her back. “I’m so proud of you, I know that was probably a really hard conversation for you both.”

“It was but… I feel better now. I want to trust him again, and we agree that maybe this will help us get there.”

“So you’re still off the market then? Asking for a friend that’s totally not Fred,” Dottie joked, and Nancy let out a girly giggle that surprised the both of them.

“Off the market, and out of his league,” the editor-in-chief said, playfully stern.

“Oh my god, Nance!” she let out a loud snort that sent Nancy into a fit.

It felt good to laugh like this, to shoulder a silly burden together, to foster a new friendship and be vulnerable with one another. Growing up hadn’t been easy for either girl in wildly different ways, but the summer of ‘86 was right ahead of them and promised greener pastures if one could get the courage to take the first step outside. Nancy hadn’t let herself have a friend for so long. It had been easy with Jonathan - shared trauma bonds you like nothing else in the world after all - but it was undeniable that a part of her had died that day when Barb went missing. Even though Dottie wasn’t Barb, Nancy could feel like Nancy again right that moment, in that bathroom, hiding from their nosy journalist-aspiring colleagues and the junior that kept following her around like a lovesick puppy. She felt herself breathe a little bit easier almost a full year after the nightmare that still woke her up in the middle of night, prompting her to double check the guns she had stashed in the topmost part of her closet so her little sister Holly could never find them by accident.

The door to the bathroom opened and a group of cheerleaders came in, fussing over their makeup and hair before practice began. They were chatting excitedly about an upcoming party, and Nancy and Dottie moved aside to let them get access to the mirrors. They were about to leave when another girl pushed the door open in a frenzy; a slightly out of breath Chrissy Cunningham ran inside in haste.

“Where were you?!” shouted Melissa, rounding on her as soon as the door had slammed itself shut.

“I got held up by a teacher, calm down,” Chrissy lied seamlessly, but her glossy eyes were a dead giveaway to anyone that had spent any significant amount of time with the elder Hellfire members. “What are we talking about?”

“Your boyfriend’s party. What are you gonna wear?” Kathleen asked, putting away her lip gloss.

“Are we allowed to go?” Libby asked, eyes hopeful. Standing next to her was another junior tumbler, Valerie, who was downright pouting at their captain.

“Of course you are!” Chrissy said, taking full advantage of the fact that Jason would never complain about her inviting her younger cheerleader friends if she pouted at him a little. “Everyone is invited. Are you two coming too?”

It took a few milliseconds for Dottie to register that Chrissy was talking to Nancy and her, and she only realized because Nancy quickly put on a friendly smile and shook her head, a quick excuse on her lips.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I already told my Mom I would babysit my sister. It’s their date night and I’d hate it if they had to cancel,” she said, and Dottie knew she was lying because her eyebrows bunched upwards in the very familiar way they bunched whenever she lied to other people in the school’s newspaper about how great their ideas were.

“Aw, they still go on dates, that’s so cute,” Valerie said, ever the romantic.

“What about you, Dot? Are you coming?” Chrissy asked, ignoring the way her friends looked at her like she was inviting a rabid dog inside for dinner.

“Uh, I- I wasn’t aware there was gonna be a party.”

“It’s tomorrow night at my boyfriend’s house but I’m organizing it so it’s honestly my party,” she giggled, and Dottie swore she’d heard Gareth make that same sound whenever he was high. “We’re saying goodbye to senior year! I just told Eddie you were all invited, you should totally come.”

“You did what?” Melissa asked and Kathleen scoffed.

“It’s our last senior year party. All seniors can come,” Chrissy said in a tone that left no questions to be asked before she turned back to Dottie. “It’s gonna be really fun, we can probably convince Jason to let us play Queen at some point! Please think about it at least? For me?”

“Okay, I’ll- I’ll think about it. For you,” Dottie smiled, and Chrissy grinned.

“We should go now,” Nancy said, interrupting the awkward tension. “Lots of newspaper club things to do.”

“Oh, sure! We’ll see you around!”

Nancy guided Dottie out with a hand on her elbow; Chrissy and Valerie were the only ones that waved them goodbye. Just before the door closed, Melissa snarled “You invited the freaks? What’s wrong with you?” but they never heard what Chrissy replied. They made their way back to the newspaper club’s room in silence, each of them deep in their own thoughts. Nancy realized that she hadn’t been to a party since she’d broken up with Steve, her ex before she’d started dating Jonathan. Had it really been that long? It seemed like it had been ages since the last time Nancy tried to act like she was a normal teenager, like she didn’t need to keep a light on while she slept, scared of the shadows in the corner of her own bedroom. Like she didn’t have sleeping pills issued by a military doctor that she refused to take hidden inside a pair of old sneakers. Nancy would never be the same Nancy she was before November 8th, 1983, but she had to try.

“We should go,” she said, Dottie’s head snapping up from the papers in front of her. “To Chrissy’s party.”

“You wanna go?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“O-okay! I can ask my Dad to take us if you want,” Dottie offered.

“I drive, I can pick you up if you want.”

“Sure, if that’s better for you. Thank you!” the brown eyed girl smiled. “I actually haven’t been to any parties since senior year began.”

“We better make this one count then,” Nancy said, and went back to work with a timid but happy expression on her face.

Dottie tried really hard not to grin, but the thought of not only being invited to her first high school party in Hawkins, but also going with her newest friend and possibly her Hellfire gang made her impossibly giddy. Senior year had certainly sucked royal ass when it began, but it was definitely ending with a bang, not a whimper.

As Eddie ticked final after final on his list, he had allowed himself to think that he would be DMing his last session as the leader of the Hellfire Club that Friday. He had carefully crafted an emotional ending to the adventure they were currently on, and hoped his players would be on board to having a less action packed meeting than usual. They were, after all, not only saying goodbye to him as a leader, but also Jeff, Gareth, Donny, and Dottie. When classes started again in September, Mike and Dustin would be sophomores and the club would be in their hands, new sheep ready to be recruited walking down the hallways of Hawkins High.

The session had started, as usual, with a recap of the previous session's shenanigans. After finding out that their dead mutual friend Orfuel wasn’t, in fact, dead but instead trapped within Shadowfell, the party quickly realized what their next move was: to embark on a journey towards the Forest of Moonstone where Jeff’s character Tharivol had grown up and lived in, all in search for guidance and help of his elders. Orfuel’s partner in crime and girlfriend, Dedlock, had sacrificed him to Mask, the Lord of the Shadows, and was being kept in his divine realm inside Shadowfell - a castle known as the Shadow Keep. Dedlock wanted to rise above the ranks in the church of Mask, and this worthy act of manipulation was going to give her entry into the Circle of the Gray Ribbon, which is where his most loyal priests belonged.

The table was buzzing in excitement as they traveled through Eddie’s carefully crafted world in what would be their last time exploring it. They took their time on their way over to Moonstone, Eddie forcing them into lengthy conversations around a campfire, sharing stories about Orfuel and how they’d become such good friends with him that they were all willing to cross planes of existence to get him back in their lives. They attuned weapons and readied spells, and got a long rest in before the final challenge of the campaign finally arrived. Upon arrival to the Forest of Moonstone, they immediately seeked an audience with the druid that had taught Tharivol everything he knew. The slender elf advised them against their plan; they simply weren’t powerful enough to face the dangers of Shadowfell at this point in time. Instead, he proposed a different alternative.

The next steps were quite easy. They would wait until the new moon, which was, coincidentally, that same night. They’d hold a ritual to open a portal between the planes and bring back Orfuel from the terrible place he had been banished to. The eldest, most powerful cleric from the Circle, a halfling cleric named Portia, would guide them through the ritual, and they’d all have to contribute, each in their own time whenever Eddie prompted them to act. Between conversations and preparations, it was getting late, and so Eddie proposed a little bathroom break before the ritual began, which the boys accepted gratefully, cans of soda littering the table. Dottie inched her chair towards him, voice low like she was about to tell him a secret.

“So,” she began.

“So,” he said, curiosity piqued.

“I talked to Chrissy today and she invited me to a party.”

“Did she now?”

“Nancy and I are going.”

“Oh?” Eddie’s eyebrows rose. “Didn’t know you were interested in that.”

“I’m not but Nancy asked me to and I dunno, it could be fun. Our last senior year party,” Dottie said in a dramatic tone. “You’re going too, right? Chrissy said she invited you and the guys.”

“She did, but I-” he scratched his neck. “I’m gonna be honest with you, darling, I don’t really like those parties very much. I go to them, I sell a few ounces, and then we go to Jeff’s for a movie night.”

“But Chrissy wants us there, she said that all seniors should go. Please, Ed?” she pleaded, eyes rounded with weaponized innocence. “I like hanging out with Nancy but I’d feel so much better about going if I knew you were gonna be there too.”

Eddie sighed. I am so whipped for her and she knows it, he thought before turning to their other friends who were refilling the snack bowls while the freshmen got more sodas.

“Gentlemen!” he called, making Gareth, Jeff, and Donny look at him. “Princess here has a request.”

“What’s up?” Donny asked, sliding into his seat next to hers.

“Nancy and I are going to Chrissy’s party tomorrow night. I want you guys to go with us too,” she said, and the boys instantly laughed.

“Dot, we can’t go to Jason Carver’s house,” Gareth said between chuckles. “He hates us.”

“And also, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but no one invites the freaks to parties,” Jeff added.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. The party is at Carver’s house, yes, but-” Eddie put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a piece of scrap paper with girly writing on it. “-Chrissy Cunningham is planning it. We got an invite this time, fellow weirdos.”

“Chrissy invited you to her party?” Gareth asked in disbelief.

“I believe she invited us all.”

“She did,” Dottie said. “She told me she told Eddie to tell you we were all invited.”

“Those are too many uses of the verb to tell in one sentence,” Donny said, poking fun at her. She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Okay, so, let me get this straight. Chrissy Cunningham, the Uncrowned Queen of Hawkins High, invited all of us to her party? And you’re actually going? With Nancy Wheeler of all people?” Gareth’s eyes were wide open.

“How much of a discount have you been giving her?” Jeff joked, implying something less illegal than simply selling her weed, but also dirtier was going on between them.

“Shut the fuck up,” Eddie threw a ball of paper at his head. “She’s a friend, and she invited Dottie too. In person, not through me.”

“Yeah, Nancy and I ran into her in the bathroom and she told us to come.”

“What is it with girls and bathrooms?” Gareth looked at Donny, the only other one at the table who had sisters. He shrugged in response.

“So? Are we all going? If it sucks we can leave, but I just thought it’d be fun to, y’know, do something different for once,” Dottie said with a hopeful smile.

“Okay, I’m in,” Donny announced.

“Dude!” Jeff and Gareth looked at him like he had betrayed them.

“Oh, come on! It’s now or never, we’re never gonna see these assholes again after graduation. And you know those rich kids always have so much beer at their parties. Are you really gonna say no to free booze?”

“Okay, when you put it like that…,” Gareth conceded. “I’ll go if we all go.”

“Ditto,” said Jeff.

“Guess we’re going to Jason Carver’s house tomorrow night, boys,” Eddie said, reluctantly.

“It’s gonna be awesome, you’ll see,” said Dottie, right as Dustin, Mike, and Erica rejoined the group and settled for the next part of the adventure.

“If everyone’s ready,” Dustin looked around the table at his friends after a lengthy discussion. “-we go to the clearing.”

“You come into the clearing right before midnight and you see everyone sitting on the grass, making a big circle around a huge oak tree. This is where Tharivol’s Circle prays to Silvanus, The Oak Father, the God of Wild Nature. You can feel energy underneath your feet, coming up your legs and into your chest as you approach everyone else. This place is sacred, and the people here are willing to help you rescue your innocent friend. Do not take their kindness for granted,” Eddie narrated, solemn voice ringing through the tension in the room. “Portia is standing next to the base of the tree in beautiful, shiny robes, her long silver hair blowing in the breeze. She beckons you to come closer.”

“We go to her,” Erica said, firmly.

“The old halfling lady instructs you to sit at her feet where the tree’s roots come out of the dirt. She looks at her Circle and begins her speech,” Eddie held his head high as he embodied Portia with a mystic drawl. “Children of Silvanus. We are gathered here tonight to help our very own Tharivol and his allies restore order and balance to where chaos and injustice has spread. Pray with us. Let Silvanus help them return a lost friend home,” in his normal voice, Eddie continued. “Portia turns around and with her staff, she draws a line into the earth where the portal will appear, if, and only if you succeed.”

“Hang on, Portia is opening a portal?” Jeff said, holding in a chuckle.

“Portia the Portal Lady,” Dustin muttered, and Mike next to him snorted loudly.

“You’re killing the fuckin’ mood,” Gareth complained, kicking Jeff who sat opposite him.

“Moving on, please,” Erica rolled her eyes and motioned at Eddie to continue. He bowed his head in acknowledgement and carried on with his narration.

“Portia starts praying loudly in a language you don’t quite understand. At first, you think she might be praying in Elven but you quickly realize she’s praying in Sylvan, the language of the fey,” Eddie said, tense silence falling over the room once again. “Tharivol,” he looked at Jeff. “You recognize a few words and it sounds like she’s requesting access to a kingdom, to a place called Shadowfell. She’s asking the Raven Queen for help in rectifying a wrong that has happened within her realm. I want you all to tell me what you do to help Portia during the ritual.”

“What’s everyone else doing?” asked Jeff.

“They are still sitting in a circle while they pray.”

“I’m gonna pray to Silvanus too then.”

“Go ahead. Let me hear what you say to him.”

“Oh, Silvanus, God of Wild Nature, Old Father Tree,” Jeff began, in character as Tharivol with his head bowed, eyes closed and hands clasped above the table. “Orfuel saved my life once. Let me return the favor. Let me repay the kindness he showed me by righting what is wrong in his name. Let him come home to us. Let him live long and prosper.”

“Damn,” said Gareth under his breath. It was showtime at the Hellfire Club, and everyone was taking it seriously.

“I’m gonna pray to Moradin for assistance,” Erica said as Boldhild. “I’m gonna invoke my Oath, and say: Fight the Greater Evil. No Mercy for the Wicked. By Any Means Necessary. Retribution. I honor these values today, and tomorrow. In your name, Moradin, the All-Father.”

“I’ll pray too,” Dottie joined them as Holly. “I’m going to lay down my quarterstaff, my symbol of Lathander touching the earth, and I’m gonna call out to him for help like they did.”

“You can do better than that, darling,” Eddie crossed his fingers and rested his chin on them. “Show me how you commune with your god.”

“O-okay,” she said, attributing her nerves to the expectation of performing an impromptu prayer in front of everyone and definitely not because of the sultry voice Eddie was talking to her with. She bowed her head and began praying. “Lathander, I come to you as a child of the light to ask you for aid in a time of need. My siblings in arms are asking Silvanus and Moradin to come together and help, but I fear their calls might go unanswered. Morninglord, I beg of you, take pity on us. Take pity on Orfuel, who has been banished to the plane of shadows. Take pity on those who cannot walk in your light like we do every new dawn, and please let us be joyous when the morning comes.”

There was the sense in the room that this wasn’t just a regular end of a campaign. They could feel it in the way Eddie had guided the session so far: minimal combat, heavy on the roleplay, distinctively interested in character growth. He was gearing up to something, and from the looks of it, it was going to be something big. With the understanding of a party that trusts their DM to bring a satisfying story to life, they gave themselves to him freely and wholeheartedly. This wasn’t just the end of an adventure. This was the end of Eddie’s reign as the leader of the Hellfire Club and he deserved a proper farewell.

“I-,” said Mike, gearing up to join his friends in the ritual as Mozikith. “I don’t think I can pray to Asmodeus for help, I mean… Doesn’t really feel right. So I’m gonna give Silvanus an offering instead.”

“What kind of offering do you wish to give him?” asked Eddie.

“Uh, a blood offering? My own blood.”

“No!” cried Jeff. “Offerings to Silvanus can’t be blood sacrifices. You have to destroy something made out of wood or wooden materials and bury it.”

“Okay, well, uh- Do I even own something made out of wood?” Mike wondered aloud as he looked down at his inventory notes.

“You have your staff,” Dustin suggested in a sheepish tone.

“Can… Can I break my staff and still keep my arcane stone?” he looked at his DM.

“I’ll allow it but you can’t cast spells simply holding the stone. You either get a new staff or do something with it, like put it inside a locket,” warned Eddie.

“It’s fine. I won’t need it anymore anyways,” Mike reasoned. “I’m gonna break my staff in two and bury it under where the portal is supposed to be created.”

“Me too,” said Gareth, making Despair join the sacrifice. “I’m gonna add my javelins to his pile.”

“How many?”

“All four of them.”

“Very well,” Eddie smiled. “Anyone else has something they’d like to add?”

“I want to offer something to the Raven Queen in exchange for her to let us through,” said Dustin as Seebo.

“Oh?”

“She collects trinkets, right?”

“That she does, Seebo. What do you have to offer to her?” Eddie leaned forward. “It has to be something interesting, remember, she doesn’t exactly care too much about cheap junk.”

“I want to offer her my father’s ring.”

A few sharp gasps could be heard as Dustin held Eddie’s eyes as if he was challenging him to say no. Everyone at the table knew what that ring meant to Dustin’s character. The heavy brass ring was all he had to remember his parents by after a war had left him and his ten younger siblings as orphans, begging on the streets for a small mercy until Orfuel taught him to run petty scams and pickpocket. At first he’d been reluctant but he had ten mouths to feed and couldn’t afford to pity those who had so much more than he did. Dustin placed a tacky ring he’d gotten at a yard sale in the middle of the table. Trust him to always keep props on his body for D&D related purposes.

“Okay, I’ll take it. Let’s see if she does too,” Eddie accepted his token.

“I’ll offer her a memory,” added Donny as Odorr. “I know she collects those too.”

“Which memory are you offering to the Raven Queen, dearest Odorr?”

“I want to give to her the night I burned down my village. That’s why I was a hermit until Orfuel found me,” he turned to the table to explain. “I was exiled as a kid because I couldn’t control my Wild Magic and set a barn on fire. It spread to the rest of the village so they said I was a danger and casted me out.”

“Shit,” Erica said, impressed that he’d kept his origin secret for so long. “Did you kill someone or what?”

“No, but I hurt a lot of people. It’s in the past now.”

“I’m sorry you went through that,” Dottie told him sincerely. Odorr had been her first friend on the campaign, and she cared for him like he was a real person. Donny squeezed her hand as a thank you.

“Okay, are we ready to proceed? Good. Since everyone has played their part in the ritual, I’ll explain how this is going to work,” Eddie brought them back to the game. “I’m gonna ask Tharivol to make an Arcana check, with advantage. To that you’re gonna add 1d6 of Inspiration for each member of your party, so that’s 6d6.”

“Can I roll Religion instead of Arcana? Since I’m praying to Silvanus,” Jeff bargained.

“Sure. Roll in front of everyone.”

Jeff grabbed 2d20 and breathed deeply, calming his nerves. He shook the dice in his hands, letting them fall to the tabletop, the two green and gold flecked pieces of plastic glinting in the moody lighting Eddie had set for the evening.

“18 and 19,” he announced.

“I’m guessing we’re starting with 19. Mozikith, if you will,” Eddie prompted Mike to start the inspiration dice rolls.

“Wait!” Dottie interrupted. “I want to cast Guidance on Tharivol.”

“Remind me again what that does, princess?”

“You touch one willing creature. Once before the spell ends, the target can roll a d4 and add the number rolled to one ability check of its choice. It can roll the die before or after making the ability check. The spell then ends,” she read with a smile. “You told me the other day that I always use the same two cantrips so I’m using a new one today.”

“I need to stop teaching you things if you’re gonna use them against me,” Eddie grumbled, but deep down was proud that she listened to his advice so intently. “Fine, Tharivol, add a d4.”

“Thank you,” Jeff said to Dottie and rolled. “2.”

“We’re at 21. Mozikith, please.”

“Shit,” Mike said. “That’s a 2.”

“We’re at 23. Seebo, your turn.”

“Fuck. Sorry guys, that’s gonna be a one,” Dustin mumbled angrily.

“Tough start. We’re at 24. Boldhild?”

“Four!” Erica cheered.

“We go up to 28! Despair, you go.”

“Please, please, please,” Gareth whispered. “SIX!”

“34! Odorr’s turn now.”

“Fuck yeah! That’s a six!” Donny punched the air excitedly. Everyone started becoming antsy but hopeful.

“We’re at 38. Holly, please.”

“Four?” Dottie said, timidly.

“That brings us to 42. Everyone in the clearing starts humming as Portia continues praying. Seebo, the ring in your hand begins burning until you can’t stand the heat anymore and drop it. It sinks into the earth beneath you as a gash appears where the line in the dirt was drawn,” Eddie began describing, his players waiting with bated breaths for confirmation of their success. “Tharivol, you feel a surge of magic from deep inside you, like a gentle warmth crawling up from your feet all the way up and into your chest. You see the oak tree begins glowing in the moonlight.”

“Holy shit,” Jeff said.

“The ground beneath you begins to shake and suddenly, Odorr, you feel a piercing pain in your head, like a needle pushing right in the middle of your forehead between your tiny horns. You fall to your knees in agony and see that the gash begins opening more, revealing fog on the other side.

“It’s working!” Dustin cried, and Mike shushed him immediately.

“Holly, you see your Lathander holy symbols begin to shine. First, it’s the one attached to your staff. Then, your armlet. It feels warm, like sunshine seeping into your skin on a cool day. The gash keeps opening and opening until it becomes a shadowy circle right in front of you. The pain in Odorr’s head stops,” Eddie said theatrically, making a pause for dramatic effect. “The DC you had to beat… was 40.”

“WE DID IT!” Erica screeched, and everyone began yelling at the same time.

“You almost gave me a heart attack, you piece of shit!” Donny yelled.

“Fuck, that was close,” moaned Dustin, bracing himself against the table, tension finally leaving his body.

“Congratulations, adventurers. You’ve just opened a portal to Shadowfell,” Eddie laughed, throwing his head back.

“Do we go in now? How does this work?” Dottie asked, wanting to continue the story.

“You have to speak the name of a creature and they’ll be sucked in through the portal towards your plane.”

“What was Orfuel’s last name?” Gareth looked at Jeff.

“Evensorrow,” said Mike.

“We call for Orfuel Evensorrow to come back to the material plane,” Jeff said, back in action.

“You see a shadow moving behind the fog, it seems like it’s fighting back the tendrils. Call out to him again, all of you,” Eddie instructed.

“Orfuel! Orfuel!” everyone began chanting. “Orfuel, it’s us! Stop fighting back!”

“The creature becomes prone when it hears your voices and lets itself be dragged into the material plane. A dirty human man lays at your feet, gasping for air after the shadowy vines retreat. Portia loses strength and the portal closes itself, severing the connection to Shadowfell.”

“I catch her before she falls,” Mike said quickly.

“Thank you, dearie,” Eddie said in a pitiful voice that belonged to an old frail lady. He continued in his normal voice. “Portia is okay, she just needs to rest.”

“We go to help Orfuel then,” Gareth looked at his friends, who nodded in agreement.

“Orfuel is a shell of the man you all used to know. His hair is long and matted, his beard is graying at the edges. He has dark circles under his eyes and looks like he hasn’t had a drink of water in days. He tries to speak, but his voice doesn’t come out.”

“I give him my water bottle,” Erica said.

“He drinks half of your waterskin in a rush and now that he feels better he looks at everyone surrounding him with fearful eyes,” Eddie began trembling, like it took a toll on his body to even utter a single syllable. “He’s coming. We have to- we have to hide. He’s coming.”

“Mask’s coming?” Donny asked.

“Mask’s just a pawn,” Eddie scoffed. “Orcus is coming.”

“Who’s Orcus?” Dottie looked around the table.

“The Lord of the Undead,” Dustin said, wary. “He’s the master of the undead that live in The Abyss. He wants to exterminate all life on every plane of existence until only his undead soldiers remain.”

“Wait, what do you mean Orcus is coming?” Erica asked Eddie, but really, it was Boldhild asking Orfuel.

“Mask knows Orcus hates the Raven Queen, so they made a deal. Mask kills the Raven Queen, and he becomes the keeper of Shadowfell for Orcus. Dedlock gave me up as a sacrifice to grow Mask’s power.”

“Shit. What do we do now?” Donny asked everyone else in the room.

“We fight back,” Dustin said, like it was obvious. “First we go for Dedlock and the Circle of the Gray Ribbon. Then we go for Mask.”

“And then…,” Mike mused. “We go into The Abyss.”

“And that’s where we’ll end our session,” Eddie said, and everyone groaned in protest.

“What the fuck, man?!”

“You said this session was the last one!”

“That’s such a non-ending, what is wrong with you?”

Eddie laughed and looked at his friends who kept begging him for more. More stories, more adventures, more guidance. They weren’t asking for entertainment. They were looking for more friendship. He moved to lower down his DM screen and hauled his prop box onto the table. Everyone stared at him curiously, wondering what trick he was gonna pull out of his metaphorical hat next. He simply reached in and grabbed two pins, putting them on the table: one said Chapter Leader, and the other said Dungeon Master. He’d had the first one for three years, and the second one for longer. He looked up at his club members with shiny eyes, and Dottie thought he’d never looked more at peace than in that moment.

“As you all know, my beloved sheep, I’m hoping I finally get to graduate this year. I don’t know if I am just yet, but in any case, this is my last session as Hellfire’s very own DM and leader. There’s more story to tell in this campaign, but I won’t be doing it here, on this throne, in this props room that always smells a little bit like glue,” he smiled when everyone huffed in agreement. “We’re going to take a break from this adventure until Dustin comes back from his nerd camp for geniuses-”

“Hey!” Dustin protested, but he looked proudly at Eddie while he did it.

“If you still want to find out what happens next after all that, I’ll be more than pleased to keep the action going outside of school grounds. But! A king shouldn’t rule over their kingdom forever, and it’s time for me to pass the crown onto the next generation. Wheeler, Henderson, please,” he motioned to the side. The freshmen followed him a few steps away from the table where Eddie dropped to one knee and bowed regally. “Michael Wheeler, you are Hellfire’s new Dungeon Master. I trust that the tales you tell will always be as grand as Mike the Magnificent was under my reign.”

“Woah,” Mike said when Eddie presented the Dungeon Master pin to him. “Eddie, this is- thanks, man.”

“Dustin Henderson,” Eddie continued, looking into the hopeful eyes of the kid he so very much admired. “The crown is too heavy for one man to wear alone, so I am choosing you to be the next Chapter Leader of the Hellfire Club. May you be as brave as Dustin the Daring was when he was under my wing.”

“I-” Dustin managed to get out before he launched himself across the floor and tackled Eddie into a tight hug.

“I won’t disappoint you, Eddie, I swear to god-”

But there was no need for him to promise anything, because Eddie knew that Hellfire was in safe hands with the two boys that had gone from looking at him like he was their Lord and Savior to simply calling him a friend. And as Eddie said goodbye to his time in high school, he was so grateful that even if he hadn’t learned a single thing valuable within those walls, he had come out of it with a group of people that he could always count on when life got too rough to handle on his own.

taglist (comment below or shoot me a dm if you want to be added!): @munsonology @kurdtbean

[sevencardigans]

Aleksander Aamodt Kilde on Lindmo (x) - English Transcript

AL: Aleksander, it's so good to see you.

AAK: You too.

AL: It's so terribly painful to see the pictures of the horror fall you had in January. Do you remember what happened?

AAK: I remember parts of it. I was a bit in and out. It was very... I remember the entrance of the fall and falling on my back through the gate. Then I don't remember much until I'm leaning forward and feel that something has happened. I feel like I've really hurt myself. 

AL: You really cut your leg. Did you notice it?

AAK: That's what I wondered most when I was lying there, how my legs were doing. But I could only think about my shoulder, because it was really dislocated. It was just the thing that was hammering in my head, that there's something wrong with this shoulder. 

AL: So it was dislocated. 

AAK: Yes, dislocated. It was dislocated that way. It was kind of hanging forward a bit. I was leaning forward, then I "blacked out" again. When I'm lying on my back, I only look down at my legs. Then I see that something has happened to the leg. There's some film blood spurting out of the leg. Then I'm just like... Now I have to lie on my back or breathe calmly with my stomach. Then I just have to try to stay alive. Then it's straight to the hospital. 

AL: You'll get stabilized there. When do you wake up?

AAK: They flew me down to the ground and back into the helicopter. Then it was flying to the hospital. My shoulder hurt so much, but I was still conscious. Then I said, "You have to do something now," and in one second I was gone. Then I woke up after the operation, when it was around nine o'clock in the evening. I really had no idea what had happened. The first thing I thought of was that I had to tell my family, Mikaela, people, that I'm here. "It's okay, I'm alive." 

AL: But they had gotten the message, right?

AAK: They knew everything. 

AL: Mikaela was there and told you, then?

AAK: Yes, that's how it ended. So she was there, and that helped a lot. 

AL: You've fallen down before and hurt yourself. But how would you compare what happened there with the other things you've experienced?

AAK: I tore my ACL. It sucked, and it sucks. It's a big injury. No offense to ACL injury patients, but it wasn't even close. There's a trauma involved in what happened now that I've never experienced before. It's tough both physically and mentally. In one second, you go from going 150 km/h and living off your body to just being struck down and being in a wheelchair for eight weeks. It was very, very special and quite tough. When you end up in a wheelchair, you can often roll forward and get places. In the shower, you can shower by yourself. But it was difficult. I was like this and that. 

AL: With one arm...

AAK: Then you just go in a circle. So it's a bad arrangement. 

AL: It was an intense few days and weeks in the hospital, then home. Then you were also in need of care. Who could help you then?

AAK: It was my mom, then. She got on the plane and was there right away.

AL: And she's a nurse.

AAK: She's a nurse. That helped a lot. She has worked in the emergency department at Bærum Hospital, so she knew a bit about the big picture. She's seen a lot of terrible things before. But it's a bit different when it's your son. She's been a hero. Without her, I don't know what I would have done.

AL: Now there's an arm that needs to be fixed. You have the deep cut. Your body is scarred. But what about the head? What about the mental? How has it been?

AAK: It's been really tough. I've probably been at the deepest of the deep blue in my career and in life in general. I've been thinking a lot about everything. I've thought that I don't want to go through that again. I don't know if I want to do this again.

AL: Have you realized why you fell? Have you been able to see it?

AAK: Yes, I've looked at it a lot. I think it's part of the process. I think it's important to accept that it happened.

AL: Do you think you shouldn't have been skiing?

AAK: Yes, I actually do now. But I've gotten back on my feet. You learn from it. It's a process.

AL: Are you scared now? Is there an enemy now, that you're going to have fear? Can you have that?

AAK: That's a good question. I think I have to try first. I have to try and see if I can actually stand on the start, that I have no problem with this. But I hope and believe that it will go well.

AL: But have you ever thought that I won't do this again?

AAK: I have, several times. And I've told those closest to me that this might be the last time. 

AL: But have you made up your mind? Can you do more? Are you going back?

AAK: Yes, I'm going back. I'm going back. I got a little emotional here. 

AL: What you're saying now is that it's been pretty dark, but you've made sure to create something extra special and cozy in the middle of all this, I know. 

AAK: You know?

AL: Yes, I do. Someone has been gossiping a little bit. Why don't you tell me about it?

AAK: Yes, I can. There have been many ups and downs. One of the ups has been the closeness to family and Mikaela, especially. So I was lying in the hospital in Innsbruck and thought that this is it, in a way. Then I called and ordered a ring from Norway, so... I'm engaged. 

AL: Look at her! What a happy lady!

AAK: It's a victory. 

AL: She's so happy. I have a thousand questions, but first things first: With your bad leg, did you manage to get down on your knees?

AAK: I did, actually. It wasn't easy. No, it went really well. Adrenaline, you know. I didn't feel any injuries then. Then it was just a matter of going for it. 

AL: That's a winner. Down into a beautiful kneeling proposal. Congratulations!

AAK: Thank you so much. 

[cremeriie]

small world (or so it seems)

Osvald truly did not care much about the state of his hair, or any other so-called vanities, really. Unless it seriously impeded his work, the way he looked was simply not important.

Agnea thought otherwise.

"Seriously Professor, it can't be comfortable keeping it all knotted up like that."

"Yeah! You hair looks as bad as mine after a chase in the woods!"

Ochette only caught the tail end of Osvald's sharp stare as she bounded out of the Inn, likely to find something to eat. This left only Agnea as the remaining nuisance.

"Just let me brush it out, please? You can still read while I do it, you don't even have to move."

He was about to deny her, for good that time, but he stopped short at the pleading look in her eyes. Suddenly, his chest ached in a painfully familiar way.

He never could say no to such an earnest face. Not when it reminded him so much of life before the fire.

"Fine."

"Really? Oh thank you Osvald, I'll be right back with my brush!"

She almost tripped rushing up the stairs, grasping clumsily at her skirt as she went. She really was so young compared to the rest of their group and Osvald wondered, not for the first time, if letting her join their travels was a good idea. At the very least, she held her own in a fight fairly well, and she seemed to pick up on the basic wind magic he had taught her quite quickly.

"Oops, sorry about that ma'am! Whew. Alright Professor, let's see what we're working with here."

She softly pulled all of the unkempt strands back towards her to get a better look. Agnea had a usually irritable habit of humming when she was concentrating, but Osvald oddly found the sound less troublesome that night. After a while she dropped the hair and made a 'hmph'-ing noise.

"Your diagnosis?"

"Pretty terrible. But nothing I cant fix with a little hard work. Um, it may hurt a bit, though."

He brushed off the concern with a wave of his hand, to which Agnea shrugged as if to say 'alright then,' and began her attack on the knots. she started at the bottom, which was relatively tidy all things considered. When pain never occurred Osvald turned his attention back to his book and began reading once again.

For a short while the room was filled only with the quiet sounds of humming, turning pages, and brushing. It was almost peaceful, until...

Snag. His head quickly whipped back and into place.

He blinked.

Snag. Again, his vision was pulled away from the pages.

Snag!

"Agnea."

"Sorry, sorry! It's just such rat's nest back here. My mother would be furious if she saw this mess."

"Hm. Did she often brush your hair?"

"Oh yes, all the time when I was small,' a sad, faraway smile fell onto her face, "She always said how lucky I was to have thick hair, and lots of it too. I bet she'd say the same about you."

"I would get rid of it all if I could but..." He trailed off.

"But?"

"My wife. She...liked it."

Agnea could tell from the clipped response that it was not a subject to be pushed further. They slipped back into silence. At the thought of her mother, she was reminded of one of the songs she used to sing when brushing her daughter's hair. The words spilled from her lips.

"O, Lady of Grace, bless me with poise/ With which I may charm my sweet love/ O, Lady of Grace, bless me with voice/ With which I may call my sweet love..."

At first, the lyrics breezed past Osvald's ears disinterestedly. Agnea was always singing to herself, he couldn't possibly keep up with every song. However, once the last line hit the air his lungs abruptly seized, wind violently squeezed out out them. Voice croaking, he turned slightly to look at the girl.

"How...how do you know that song?"

"Hm? Oh, it's a silly old love song my mother wrote. Apparently it was very favourable with young ladies in all the places she visited. Do you maybe know it? I bet she was still traveling around the time you were younger."

"Rita, she--I remember her singing it. She said she learned it from a woman visiting town..."

"Wow. I wonder if it was mom she heard that day?"

"Quite possibly."

"Huh...and now, all these years later, here we are, together...it must be fate."

"If one is to believe in such a thing."

Osvald swallowed thickly. His body was stiff, and he was trying desperately to remain composed. It was not the time to fall apart. For Aelfric's sake, he hadn't even had a drink that evening.

Agnea stopped, noticing the shake in his jaw from how hard he was clenching it. Her movements stilled. Hesitantly, she wound her arms around Osvald's neck. She gently squeezed, before murmuring into his hair.

"Whether it's fate or not, I'm happy that we met."

She quickly untangled herself from his body and stepped back, clapping her hands decisively.

"Um, we're all done! I bet it feels a whole lot better, even if you won't admit it. Maybe next time I can convince you to let me braid it."

Osvald let out a shuddering breath and cleared his throat.

"Certainly not."

Her laugh twinkled across the room, "Oh, we'll see! But it'll have to be later, because I am quite tired after all of that hard labour. Goodnight Professor!"

"Goodnight, and...thank you."

Agnea beamed brightly before climbing the stairs to her room.

He ran his fingers through his hair and was surprised at the lack of resistance. Small and witnessed only by himself, he smiled.

Osvald knew that the pain in his chest might never fully go away, but that night he felt it ease, just a little bit.