#I don't care at all about our flag means death's fanfic-ication of historical figures | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

linde-writes · 6 months ago

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"Cruella's mom got killed by Dalmations" has got nothing on "Captain Hook lost his hand because he fucked the Crocodile's wife (and the Crocodile is Peter Pan's son) (aka Rumpelstiltskin aka the Beast aka Cinderella's fairy godmother aka a million other roles I probably forgot or blocked out or never watched because I dropped this show in season 5)." And then Captain Hook married his ex's grandson's mother, who's also the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming--

you know what? it’s been long enough i think we can admit that abc’s once upon a time was dumb as all shit and that’s why it fucks

#this is only lightly touching on the insanity that is henry's family tree #congratulations to the creators of lost #for convincing disney to pay them to make the most unhinged soap opera imaginable starring their most iconic characters #once upon a time #as a side note this show is also part of the reason #I don't care at all about our flag means death's fanfic-ication of historical figures #because BLACKBEARD IS ALSO IN FAIRYTALE-LAND #HE IS (AS FAR AS I'M AWARE BC ONCE AGAIN I DROPPED THIS SHOW AT SEASON 5) THE ONLY REAL PERSON TO BE THERE #tl;dr everyone already treats historical pirates like fictional characters they can adapt however they please #they've been doing it AT LEAST since treasure island #guess I'd better tag #our flag means death #too #op I'm sorry for derailing your post to write meta on another show

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