#I don't WANT him to die from Disease. I WANT him to be shunned and have to live with himself after that

[pseudowho]

Haitch,

After a week long thought process, I decided that I needed some elder sister advice or, I dare say some comfort. I'm about to be wedded to a man, I only know the name of, in less than two weeks (sounds like something out of wattpad, I know, I know. Spoiler: he's not any sort of Mafia boss). My parents have been pressuring me to settle down for four years now but I—as unfortunate as ever—never succeed in introducing any man to them. So, they decided to take matters in their own hands and found as they'd like to say the finest man for me. I'm not given the option to refuse cuz my father has a severe heart disease and says, his last wish is to watch me settle down. Though, because of some really personal family issues, we had to cut out the meeting before marriage part which is somehow really normal in my culture.

The problem is, I'm not sure if I want to gamble my life like this.

The said man, through his gestures, seems to be a gentleman. He's been sending me flowers as well as writing me letters as the elders refused to let us atleast exchange numbers, saying it'd be a bad omen (I know it's annoying but I want my share of property so...yeah). His letters by far, are really...uh, what do I say....nice? I don't know but he seems to be a good man. But then again, I can't judge him on the basis of some letters and flowers, can I?

So, here am I, asking the great relationship adviser, Mrs. Haitch, for an elder sister advice. What should I do? Trust the process or be a run away bride? I mean, I have a stable job and a plenty of savings, so the latter is always an option.

Love,

A potential run away bride.

Hello,

First of all, I'm pleased that you Inboxed me. I wish I could bring you to ours, and cosy you up safe in our spare bedroom.

Secondly, I raise these points:

You have one life. You will die, after a relatively short time on this planet. You deserve joy. You uniquely, unequivocally, undoubtedly and unreservedly deserve joy, and most explicitly, to find that joy yourself.

You owe your father nothing because he is going to die. I'm going to say it louder: your father is not entitled to your marriage to a stranger because he has heart disease and is going to die. Again, but differently: you are being blackmailed into marriage because of your father's impending death, because you are told that you owe it to him to make him happy. Again, and again, and again: your father is more concerned about you marrying a stranger for him, than he is for you.

There is nothing shameful about being unmarried

You are not letting anyone down or shaming anyone by refusing.

Nobody in this scenario but you had your best interest at heart. They will try to convince you that you do, because of the toxic expectations of women forced onto you because of your deeply, deeply flawed and anti-women culture; but they don't. There's better for you out there. They believe the worst thing that will happen to you is being unmarried.

Arranged marriage has a very very high domestic abuse rate. And this is from the things reported by women in them. This isn't even the women who are hiding it, of which there will be a very high percentage; this is women who are actively admitting to it.

Being unmarried is not the curse or shame that your family and your culture suggest it is. Your family's culture is anti-women, violent and antiquated.

Please, for the love of anything good in this world, run away. Run fast and run far. Ensure that you also make moves to protect yourself from honour-related violence.

If you need any more convincing, know that I have abject proof of, or have actively suspected abuse, in at least 80% of the women in arranged marriages that I have cared for having babies.

If your family rejects or shuns you for this, they never ever ever had your best interests at heart.

God I fucking wish I could be there.

Be brave. Every single red flag has been sewn together here, and if you lay down in it, you'd look like the female blood sacrifice that your family are making you into.

You would marry this man. You would have to open your body and legs to this man that you don't know, because it would be seen as your duty. You would have to have children, that you would love, with a man that you know nothing about, and that would tie you to this man even tighter.

Flowers and nice letters mean absolutely fucking nothing. Nothing. Zero.

If you have ever read any works on love and seen it as what you want, know that you can still have it. This is almost undoubtedly not it.

Please please please please run away.

All my love,

-- Haitch xxx

[casspurrjoybell-25]

The Healer of Shakkara - Book One

*Warning Adult Content*

Chapter 17 - Pinedark Forest - Part 2

Galen had just shut his eyes when a long, eerie wail echoed through the trees.

It started low, rose high and thin, then fell again and faded to end in a strange, clicking growl.

Galen sat up, wide awake and looked to Sev, who had also gone alert.

"What is it?"

"Shh."

Sev held a finger to his lips and shook his head, then pointed at the others.

It seemed he wanted them to stay asleep.

He rose and beckoned and Galen carefully got up and stepped over Behn, then joined Sev at Iksy's side.

"See anything?" Sev whispered.

Iksthanis shook his head.

"Not yet."

"Ideas?"

The larger man shrugged.

"Could be anything, this far into the pines... a wolf or a wraith."

Galen shivered.

He'd heard stories about what lived in the Wild Green but dismissed most as mere fantasy.

Everything from wolves and bears to witches, goblins and ghouls were said to make their homes deep beneath the shadowed trees.

In the middle of the night, in the middle of the Pinedark, the tales were much easier to believe.

The howl came again and this time another joined it, though from a greater distance.

Farther yet, another faint wail rose and fell on strange, discordant notes and ended in the same clicking growls.

"Not wolves... I think," Sev muttered.

"What, then?" Iksy asked, scanning the darkness beyond the fire's light.

Sev shook his head.

"I have an idea but I'd rather be sure than guess."

"Something bad, then."

Sev didn't answer but waited, listening.

Minutes passed but the night remained silent and still.

"Is it gone?" Galen whispered.

He didn't like to admit he'd been frightened by noises in the night but he couldn't deny he hoped whatever had made those sounds was far away.

"We'll know soon enough," Sev said.

"If I'm right, they won't come near the fire, anyway. Don't let it die down, Iksy and don't wander beyond its light. Who has the next shift?"

"Rea."

"Warn her, too."

"No need," Rea herself said this, speaking in a whisper and approaching with a silent tread.

"Sound familiar?" Sev asked.

She nodded.

"The mounds."

Galen shivered.

He did not know what it meant but it sounded like either a terrible monster or a terrible disease.

When no one spoke again, he ventured a question.

"What are the mounds?" he asked.

Rea glanced at him but it was Sev who answered.

"The 'mounds' are a region in Yuthraka," he said quietly.

"Over the eastern mountains, in the low-lying marshlands near the sea. They're man-made burial sites... like little hills. Rea and I once heard something similar, there."

"Barrowlings," Rea said.

"At least, that's what you would call them in Thryn. Corpse-eaters. Some say they were human, once but took to eating their own kind. Hunted and shunned, they fear the light and make dark places their home. They feast on the dead but favor fresh meat... if they can get it."

Huffing a laugh, Galen relaxed.

Whatever environs they supposedly preferred, 'barrowlings' lived only in fairy tales.

Parents used them to frighten difficult children into obedience.

'Go to bed or the barrowlings will get you.'

They weren't real.

"If you won't tell me, then..."

Sev pointed.

At the very edge of the light, where the slim grey trees vanished in the gloom, something moved.

Galen glimpsed a pale form with long, thin limbs, walking on all fours.

A pair of eyes shone with dim sparks of reflected light in a small, oval head, flashing as they turned towards the light, then blinking into darkness again as the creature slipped back among the pines.

"Shit," Iksthanis swore.

"Was that...?"

"Definitely," Sev confirmed.

"How many?" Rea asked.

"Impossible to know. We heard at least three but there's usually a hive. These are probably scouts."

"We need to get out of these pines," Rea said.

"No shit," Iksy agreed.

"We can't move until daybreak," Sev said.

"The fire will keep them at bay. Tomorrow we'll carry torches, just in case. The one thing they hate is fire."

"And no wonder. They live in a tinderbox," Iksy said, looking up at the shadowed branches overhead.

They had been exceedingly careful with their fires... a stray spark could start a blaze.

"What about the perimeter?" Galen asked.

Each night they had laid out the circle of symbols and the bells on the strings.

"That's to hide us from unfriendly forces, looking from afar, not to keep out creatures of flesh and blood," Sev said.

"Should we wake the others?" Rea asked.

Sev shook his head.

"No. Let them sleep. They'll need their rest for the day ahead. You, too," he added, turning to Galen.

"There's another four hours of night. Make use of it."

Galen nodded, doing his best not to let his fear show.

Sev saw it anyway and his expression softened.

Laying a hand on Galen's shoulder, he said.

"Don't worry. When there is something to fear, you'll know it. A few barrowlings are little threat to a strong party like ours. If they were indeed human, once, they are as animals now. They don't use tools or weapons and while cunning, they are not especially strong. We must simply hope their hive is far away and that they are well-fed enough not to bother with those who wield fire."

Somewhat but not entirely reassured, Galen returned to his bed but sleep did not follow him and phantom howls teased his ears until dawn.

[julie-su]

They don't know i'm full of Lara-Su thoughts

[kamyru]

Can u pls make a yukihisa maki headcanon pls? Thx

Hi! Of course, I want to provide more content about Yuki. He is such an underrated character. Though, I hope I don't repeat anything that was already mentioned in the stories. If I do, please tell me. Enjoy! ❤️

Headcanons for: Toshiaki Kijima, Shunichiro Tachibana, Toma Kiriya, Natsume Asaoka, MC

Yukihisa Maki headcanons

Had problems in school because he tended to tell teachers if they made a mistake in a not too smooth way.

While in middle school, Yuki had a very strong 'Medical Student Syndrome'. He learned the things he needed for university and was sure that he was going to die from that exceptionally rare disease that has only 12 cases in the world.

During his teenage years was pretty impulsive and sensitive. The kind of person who said that they would leave only to see if others cared enough to come after him.

Teenager Yuki believed in all romantic things that he started to deny in his adulthood. He even dreamed about marrying the girl with whom he would have his first kiss. However, those dreams were buried deep inside of him.

Once, had a crush on Shun's girlfriend. Shun found out about this more than ten years after.

He knew from an early age that he would be a doctor. So, on his way to becoming one, and while he activated, he drank barely any alcohol to prevent his hands from shaking.

Shun asked him more questions about human anatomy and theoretical sex than he could count. At the same time, Yuki was the one who asked Shun about real-life sex tips.

When he was younger, he didn't like his appearance.

He remains pretty even when he cries. Has a very cute crying face. Somehow, he doesn't become too red, and tears fall when he closes his eyes. While his eyes are open, they glisten in the lights like diamonds.

Intentionally sings in an obnoxious way to piss off the people around him.

Made more jokes about prostate checkups than it's admissible. Toshiaki and Shun hate him for this. Even Jun heard them. The CEO wasn't too pleased.

Tries to educate every single human being who is ready to listen to him for more than 5 minutes about what mushrooms are edible and what aren't.

Has the strangest dreams. Sometimes, when he has another one, he calls Shun in the middle of the night to talk to him about it. A few times Shun didn't answer, and he called Toshiaki.

Likes to see drunk Toshiaki. He won't ever press the poor man to drink. But he thinks that a drunk Devil Exec is one of the cutest and strangest things that the world can bring.

Has drinking contests with Shun.

Yuki smoked with Shun more than once.

Loves to kiss MC on the top of her head.

Loves to give MC piggybacks.

Wants to have kids that look more like MC than like him.

NSFW under the cut!

NSFW! Had more than one threesome with Shun.

NSFW! Remember the prostate jokes? He doesn't mind being fingered or pegged. And yes, he once cosplayed the prostate check up situation with MC as a doctor and him as a patient.

NSFW! Has a big collection of sex toys.

NSFW! Is into orgasm denial. For him and for MC.

[sideprince]

I just don't get the werewolf defense discourse. Lupin was clearly established as an outlier - most werewolves in the HP world live on the fringes of society because they choose not to try to live non-violently, not just because there's unfounded bias against them. The line between prejudice and self-preservation on the part of wizards is blurry at best.

Which is also why werewolves are a horrible metaphor for Rowling to have used. And don't get me wrong, I absolutely support the idea of challenging bias, but this is a terrible parallel for it.

"They are blood thirsty inhuman monsters who will eat your children" is literal antisemitic and anti-black rhetoric that stretches back centuries (white Christians are good at recycling like that).

"They will gleefully infect you and spread their deadly disease for fun" is literal anti-AIDS homophobic propaganda from the 90s.

What makes Rowling's metaphor problematic is that the marginalized group she establishes through Lupin actually DOES do these things. It's not that there's unfounded bias because a group is "other" because the bias is based in repeatedly perpetuated violence that's inherent to the nature of this mythical, fictional creature. Lupin is an outlier in that he isolates himself during the full moon; it's made clear that most werewolves in this world don't take precautions. Greyback deliberately positions himself near populated areas, but it's canon that he has a following and werewolves rally around him, and that Lupin has an almost impossibly difficult time preaching his own approach to them:

‘I’ve been living among my fellows, my equals,’ said Lupin. ‘Werewolves,’ he added, at Harry’s look of incomprehension. ‘Nearly all of them are on Voldemort’s side. Dumbledore wanted a spy and here I was … ready-made.’ He sounded a little bitter, and perhaps realised it, for he smiled more warmly as he went on, ‘I am not complaining; it is necessary work and who can do it better than I? However, it has been difficult gaining their trust. I bear the unmistakeable signs of having tried to live among wizards, you see, whereas they have shunned normal society and live on the margins, stealing - and sometimes killing - to eat.’ ‘How come they like Voldemort?’ ‘They think that, under his rule, they will have a better life,’ said Lupin. ‘And it is hard to argue with Greyback out there …’

Half-Blood Prince, Ch. 16

It's a terrible metaphor for marginalized people because what anon calls "bias" most people would call "common sense, being informed, and taking protective measures against a legitimate threat to safety." In other words, the marginalized group Rowling creates proves that the prejudice against them is valid - and she wrote Lupin as an allegory for an AIDS patient in this context, which is incredibly harmful, unethical, and laced with its own biases. This isn't a metaphor for bias, marginalization, or othering, and trying to claim it is can give you blinders for how you approach these issues in real life, so I would encourage people to think about the text critically and consider whether they genuinely think it's good metaphorical representation, or if they're just twisting themselves in knots to justify their blorbo. Again, I'm very on board with examining and calling out and undoing biases, I just don't think werewolves in Harry Potter are a well thought-through and informed metaphor for this.

But hey if this is the hill you want to die on, that's your choice, go off. As for Snape teaching the werewolf curriculum, it's clearly an act of protection and of empowering the students with knowledge and skills in the face of a legitimate threat, as far as he's concerned. You know what's funny, though, that I never see asked whenever people bring this up (because it's not an original question, there are posts on this hellsite going back years and years with people thinking they're the first one to ask this "got ya" about Snape):

Was Lupin going to teach werewolves at all? It's on the third year curriculum, but the trio end up in the Shrieking Shack at the end of the year, after final exams, and only Hermione knows about werewolves. He doesn't just scrap Snape's essay. It seems like where Lupin had the opportunity to teach about werewolves in a more progressive, inclusive way, he instead didn't teach it at all - even though he fully knows he's an outlier and that after third year no one will teach these students about werewolves, leaving them vulnerable to all the others who aren't like Lupin and do enjoy targeting people deliberately.

All I’m trying to say is that you don’t even have to be a pinnacle of morality, goodness, and intelligence to challenge bias, even when it’s posed to you in education.

They’re taught how to identify and kill werewolves by Snape, who clearly went out of his way to curate and deliver this particular lecture.

Ah yes... how unreasonable for Severus to teach the class the textbook curriculum for their subject. Which they are behind in - partially due to having shitty teachers, Remus falling behind on his work due to his illness and/or being a new teacher (he is disorganized too, and gets some facts wrong) - and perhaps partially due to him intentionally avoiding the topic.

After all: he didn't shorten the essay they were given on werewolves, or give them more time to do it - or do anything to make Severus' lesson with them worthwhile for their education. He instantly cancelled it - and was pleased everyone was so upset.

And I don't really blame Remus for that. He was scared. Students had worked him out twice in the past. But I don't blame Severus for focusing on it, either.

On Wolfsbane Remus seems to only takes 2 or so days off a month. The likelihood of it landing on their class twice in a year is slim. Severus has one chance to really drill this werewolf lesson home. Teaching them how to defend themselves against a werewolf is a HIGH priority, especially for Potters class:

Because he believes Remus is working with Sirius Black - the man who got Lily killed. And for good reason: all year Remus has been antagonizing and gaslighting him, spending time with Potter and blatantly lying about things he didn't need to lie about.

Severus believes Remus to be a dangerous man, beyond even a dangerous werewolf. Him doing all that he can to educate students to potentially defend themselves from someone working alongside a murderer, a known betrayer of his friends, is responsible.

You say you 'don't need to be a pinnacle of morality, goodness, and intelligence to challenge bias' - that's true. But typically you need at least something to prove what you have been taught from infancy to be true is actually false. What has Remus ever done that might make Severus consider he might be more than what society says werewovles are? Bully him? Gaslight him? Intentionally antagonize him? Bystand with a position of power? Sneak around? Lie? Undermine him? The BEST thing on Remus' record, as far as Severus is concerned, is that he doesn't seem to have killed or bitten anyone yet. YET.

+ Severus keeps his secret for 18 years. + He makes his Wolfsbane potion (highly difficult) PERFECTLY every month so, as Remus says, he 'didn't suffer as much'. Severus could have damaged him or exposed him if he tampered with the potion, but he didn't. He kept him healthy. Remus is thankful. + When confronted Remus and Sirius TOGETHER in the shack - he didn't hurt or kill Remus. He tied him up to have him face justice. Same with Sirius: he treats Sirius' unconscious body gently, carrying it up to the castle in a stretcher, when neither Remus or Sirius has EVER been gentle with him.

Very few Wizards would treat a werewolf with this much faith, care and justice. He tentatively trusts Remus despite his bias and fears, which are well reasoned but without solid evidence. I'd say that's challenging bias - and being rather moral, good and intelligent.

[yukiette]

Kiyot but now I'm craving sum onigiris lol 🍙

Since One Piece anime is getting super duper interesting rn imo, I decided to finally read Law's LN! ✨️

Though, I'm relying on various translations so I do hope I can get what's going on somehow. 💀

But really, one of my favourite arc is Law's past. Definitely one that you gotta rewatch every once and then. Just like Inuyasha Kikyo's past, Hunter x Hunter arcs b4 Chimera Ant, Might Guy vs Madara.. ANY FAN OSO?!?!

Rosinante deserved better.. *sighs* 💨

Do tasukete n sen sos for my glass heart onegaishimasu. 😔💔

• Story Start/SS •

I don't even know how far this neighboring town he spoke about..

I have walked nor eaten yet for 3 days straight.

I no longer can feel my limbs, my body feels deadweight.

I'm beyond exhausted that I feel like I could give in to the drowsiness anytime.

Not to mention the freezing weather.

At this rate hypothermia will kills me before the disease takes my life.

Maybe if I just give in now it'd be easier... Such thought crossed my mind but I quickly brushed it off.

..

Not a chance.

Cora-san desperately fought for my sake to the point of losing his own life as a result.

Even most sincere apology wouldn't cut it the slightest.

I took a scalpel from my waist pouch,

"Agh!ー" I grunted in pain when I stabbed my left arm with the familiar silver blade that has already tainted red with my blood.

"Okay... With this.. The thought of sleeping in the middle of nowhere won't even cross my mind."

As the blood continues to drip, dyeing the ground scarlet.

I stanched my wounds with bandage and started to tread on again.

If by any chance I get attacked by wild boar or wolf in this pitiful state of mine, it'd surely be the end for me..

..

No, I musn't think about pointless thoughts.

I should just think about reaching the town, The town that Cora-san and I supposed to promise rendezvous at.

• Story Ends/SE • (I jus gon translate some.)

I've also rewatched his backstory yesterday huhu, sure hits hard.

And noticed some stuffs I didn't b4, like young X Drake and Law mentioned "Water" being his true name or something.

Like everyone beside Law doesn't have that extra part of name, which piques my interest.

And as Rosinante have said, he have this devil luck keeping him alive. (Which the "D")

But looking at his state right now, people with "D" do still suffers a lot and could lose their dear ones easily. 😔

• SS •

"..Huh? I see lights over there.."

I focused my sight on that direction.

I tried and gave my best as I feel light of hope kindled once again inside of me.

"..It's.. It's unmistakeable the lights of town!"

A sudden wave of relief and elation washes over me,

In a mere moment I could feel the torturous trudges became a lot lighter and felt surge of power.

[If I reach the town, there'll be food!]

[I could eat warm soup, rest in warm futon, too!]

I ran to that hope I've longed of.

..

I finally arrived at the entrance and there stood a huge sign that says "Welcome to Pleasure Town."

[I'm not sure if this neighbouring town Cora-san mentioned but... one way or another, this all I could find.]

[I wasn't able to see it from a distance before but there's quite number of people here, as well.]

[If I just ask them.. I'm sure someone will be willing to offer me a shelter..!]

I quickly ran towards the crowds of people with those hopes in mind.

..

..

Suddenly I halted.

I just stood there breaking in cold sweat.

Recalling how I always been treated because of my illness.

Hated,

Avoided,

Shunned,

Estranged,

Tormented,

Truly none other than inhumane life form that humanity wants to get rid of.

I stopped trusting. I stopped believing.

All I wanted was to wreck and destroy the world as much as possible before I die ever since I lost everything and seen living hell.

The next thing I knew,

Despair was the only feeling left inside me.

But..

Cora-san was different.

He cried for my sake,

Whilst crying he called my name in that heartbreaking voice.

I always thought that this world is a living hell, a world that must be eradicated.

But yet, slowly with the familiar warmth that I've thought to never experience again,

The hell that always've been reflected in my eyes begun to fade.

And I started to see the faint yet evident speck of hope.

I gave another chance to believe and trust in someone.

I've decided to but I still can't take another step closer.

Haunted and oppresed by past memories,

Just by thinking entering a town that's full of people makes me shiver with fear.

[What if I'm persecuted, again?]

[It might be much more worse than before.]

Negative thoughts flows in me like a river.

However, I don't know why I took a step closer to that town.

Closer and closer.. Until I reached the town.

Then, there was a person passing by near me and I quickly called out to them.

"E-Excuse me!"

"Huh? Your face.." The woman trailed off.

[...!]

Found out. She founds out I have Amber Lead disease.

That look.

That look of disgust.

That look that telling me that I'm not qualified to life.

"Ah, waitー!"

Ignoring what she had to say I ran away from the town.

I don't even have the courage to converse with people. What a coward I am.

Cora-san, even though I know there's people like you outside there,

It seems that I have yet to come put trust in people.

• SE •

K seriously idk why i translated everything again bruh.

Honestly I thought he's more unemotional kind of character before. By reading like up to 3 chapters.. I sure was dead wrong, lol.

I don't feel like I conveyed the story like Japanese version did but I hope at least it's uhh decent, grammar mistakes is inevitable too gg 😔💀.

Sankyuu to Oda-san for making story in his POV, uwu!! 💕

*Probs this will be pt. 1 of ch.1 i'm lazeh thou aghh sowweh*

Welp, kiwotsukete, sankyuu n mata otanoshimini! 🌸

[bythegraceofcass]

Who I Am

I never really write these introduction type of things... mostly because I'm afraid for people to get to know me, and also because I'm so tired of being bullied. In short... I'm afraid. I'm afraid of judgement, I'm afraid of hatred and I'm afraid of the truth I'm about to write here. My name is Andrea. I'm 22 years old and have done nothing with my life. The reason for this is because I have multiple illnesses which prevent me to put mind over matter. I have RSD which is basically the most painful disease known to medical science. I also have Gastroparesis which means my gut is paralyzed and causes me the inability to hold down food, eat, causes chronic vomiting due to undigested food, awful pain, etc., Severe Fibromyalgia, Asthma, Endometriosis, Interstitial Cystitis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Chronic Migraines due to a neck injury I received from my abusive father and step mother, who I no longer live with. I have had seven surgeries, in fact I'm actually recovering from one right now: a spinal cord stimulator implant in my spine to help me walk due to the RSD affecting my left leg. I'm so critical of my life at this very moment; simply put: I hate my life right now. I hate that I can't work and have to amount to constant judgement and nasty attitudes from some family members. Last year, I wanted to die. I wanted to end it all because I was so tired of how much pain I live in on a daily basis, I was so tired of constantly being exhausted, I was so tired of the guilt, depression, anxiety and PTSD, I was so tired of being ignored by my father and step mother.. to them, I don't exist. I was so heartbroken due to a break up I went through with my then boycriend of two years. I was tired of the way my biological mother treated me; she in short told me she hopes I'll die alone, I deserved the abuse from my father and step mother, she said I'm a truly miserable and awful person. Even though I saved her from her alcohol addiction by putting her through rehab which caused her to meet her now husband, get my half sisters back in her custody, have a dog which I gave her... she hopes I die alone. So, last year around December I truly wanted to end my life. Then, when I had a cholescystectomy, I decided to give Supernatural a little look see.

I was immediately enraptured by the story of these two brothers and their Angel. Of all of the characters, I found myself relating Castiel and Bobby the most. Castiel because i do nothing but try. I try so hard to regain my independence. I fight and fight but, even if I have good intentions, I'm beaten down, tormented by my conscious, shunned by some of my family and always seem to end up losing. I feel just as broken as this beautiful creature.

Bobby, well, when Bobby was dying we got to see his abusive childhood, his father. Bobby so desperately wanted to be as far from his father as he could, so he shot him just so he could protect his mother and himself. Bobby's fear was always clear: He would never ever end up like his dad. Which is why he refused to have children of his own. Same goes for me. I love all of these beautiful characters, however I love Castiel and Bobby a little bit more, only because they struck a chord with me. More specifically being Castiel out of them all.

As I continued to watch I began to find my place, a fandom I could call home and family. Being sick, I lost all of my friends, I lost my independence, my future career-wise, I had to drop out of college. Instead I spend my time seeing doctors, inside hospitals and emergency rooms, in my house locked up in my dark room day after day alone (my grandmother works, which also makes me feel so utterly guilty and worthless due to my lack of contribution) with my cat and three dogs. Thanks to this show, I have a family. I have people I can lean on if I ever need the support, I have people I'm close with. One, in particular: my best friend who, even though she lives in Canada and I in Texas, we speak every single day. This show has done so much for me and more.

Misha Collins... Where do I begin. This man saved my life. Yes, the show did most of it but the moment Castiel walked inside that barn on my tiny MacBook Air screen whilst I was doped up on pain medication and struggling to breath from my gallbladder surgery, I felt safe. I immediately wanted to get to know this human, the actor behind the Angel. So I started looking him up on YouTube and watched his conventions so many of you are so very kind to post... for that I thank you. This man is the epitome of kindness, love and compassion. I know he'll never know of my existence but, because of him, because of the Angel he is both on and off-screen, I decided to stay. No matter how much I hurt, no matter how guilty and worthless I feel, watching Misha's conventions on YouTube, seeing the charity work he does (My, what fame has done to this beautiful man), the fact that he loves poetry, is so passionate about humanity and equality, his quirkiness and weird antics, his laugh, his smile, his eyes... him. Everything. He was the final reason I needed to stay.

Because of this show and it's cast, I finally discovered who I am. This is the first time I have ever written or admitted this aside from my best friend, but I'm ready. I'm ready to make peace with it and embrace it. I'm bisexual. For years I hid it, even from myself. I just shoved and pushed it aside but deep down I knew I was bisexual. The only thing that stopped me from admitting it was my father, who is very homophobic. I refuse to allow him to force me to lie to myself and hide who I am, anymore. I'm afraid to put this out there, but at the same time... I'm ready.

So, I believe thanks are in order.

•Thank you Misha Collins for simply existing. Thank you, sir, for saving my life. You don't know I exist, but because you exist... I choose to stay.

•Thank you Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles for all you do for our family: from charity work to conventions. Thank you for being there for us.

•Tina, if you're reading this. I love you, bitch. Because of you, I feel loved and needed. I feel accepted. Because of you, I finally came out and expressed who I really am; no bars, no filter. All me. Thank you for being my sister, I'll always be here just as you're always there for me. You mean everything to me.

Finally, thank you so much Supernatural. Thank you for helping me find my place in the world. Thank you for helping me find a family full of psychotic weirdos I can feel comfortable with. You guys are so accepting and kind... it just makes me feel so loved anytime I log on to my various social media accounts. Thank you so much Supernatural. And thank you SPNFamily.

[pooma-unvolunteers]

HOW MUCH DOES A CUP OF HATRED COST?

I never knew it was that expensive. I wanted to know the cost of HATRED, so I decided to branch a shop where it's being sold.

As a good businessman who was looking for a buyer, the sales man rushed out to ask what I wanted.

I told him I wanted just a cup of hatred, then he smiled and asked if I could afford it?

''How much does a cup cost?'' I asked?! Hmmmmm! He took in a deep breath, then started...

👉🏼 First, it will take away your inner peace.

👉🏼 It will cost you incurable worries.

👉🏼 It will eat up your heart.

👉🏼 You will be deeply bitter whenever you set your eyes on the person you hate.

👉🏼 When others are celebrating him or her, you will be looking for reasons he or she does not deserve it.

👉🏼 You will become so weak and tired of seeing the person.

👉🏼 Whenever he or she laughs, you cry.

👉🏼 While others are busy planning their future, you will be busy looking for how to pull him or her down.

👉🏼 The Spirit of God will leave you and you will become the temple of devils where demons reside.

👉🏼 You will begin to have different health issues like high blood pressure, diabetics, stroke, cancer, liver disease, kidney disease, etc.

As long as you drink from the cup of hatred, bitterness, grudge, unforgiveness, malice, anger, jealousy, envy, resentment.... .

Worse still, prayers or drugs cannot help much because you have disobeyed the natural and supernatural laws.

👉🏼 You will die before your time and go to hell.

The seller was still counting what a cup of hatred will cost me, when I shunned him, realizing how EXPENSIVE hatred is.

I left because I knew deep down I could not afford it.

I refused to pay such a huge amount when I can LOVE so easily and cheaply.

Beloved, don't allow anybody take away your joy and sell or give you hatred.

Avoid gossip, bitterness, anger, etc. because a lot of times, it is what you hear about somebody that breeds hatred.

Don’t die before your time.

God bless you.