#I don’t wanna eat Easter dinner rn I hardly fucking ate today and it just feels right

[justasadboi]

I had to talk to my dad today and ask a really big favor from him and even thinking about it makes me wanna blow my brains all over my fucking walls. Like now I have to go see him and have dinner with him and I was like not even gonna fucking see him at all and now I gotta go make nice with him. Like he has the fucking audacity to fucking tell me about the fucking concert he took his gfs kids to and like I wanted to fucking scream. Like I remember asking him to give me money to go to a concert and like supervise and whatever and he was like no. And then he’s like yeah it was like a full circle moment cause these people were my first concert and it was their first concert like wow crazy. And I’m like wow that’s awesome hahahah but in my head I’m like you dumb fuck I’m gonna blow up ur fucking house you piece of dog shit. Like I’m ready to fucking explode on goddamn everyone. Like I’ve just been bitchy today and distant but if I talk to these people im going to be a ducking cunt and idk what the fuck im supposed to do. Like my sister is gonna be in town when I go and idk if she’s gonna be staying with my mom or not and like I just wanna go home to my mom and fucking cry and freak out to her like idk wtf im doing I just wanna fucking die I don’t wanna deal with shit at home I don’t wanna live with my mom but I can’t live on my own financially or even mentally so like wtf is left for me bro how am I supposed to survive. Like im tryna be helpful for my bf cause he’s like having an episode but all I wanna do is fucking starve myself and cut myself and lay in bed till I fucking die. Or I wanna fucking scream at everyone around me and be like I don’t wanna be the fucking star anymore I want to be a fucking person not a goddamn star everyone looks at and talks about but doesn’t fucking care about or help. We kill our fucking planet and then complain that’s it’s breaking like wtf do you except that’s goddamn math 1+1=2 always have always fucking will. But even those numbers are made up so who tf actually fucking know