#I don’t have to be/stay close with everyone just because people Haven’t Done Anything Wrong and we’ve known each other for a while

[burinazar]

nggahh sometimes i’m really good at creating missable communication cues that i think are clear, explicit requests for help but are apparently confusing enough that other people just take them as feel good expressions of existing gratitude and don’t comprehend that I was asking for something and then it backfires into me being rather hurt and unhappy with them

me: please do this thing for me please. btw i am asking/telling you this because i think you might actually do it and i am quite grateful for that

them: ((aw ebil said something about being grateful for us.)) thanks : )) Glad we can be here for you : ))) you are welcome for that < 3

me: wait why are you smiling and walking away. aren’t you going to— wait — wait come back,

[sorbetisfruity]

Imagine you and some of the TWST guys are preparing for a little party. Whether it be a tea party, or maybe an unbirthday party, idk but THERES A PARTY GOING ON OKAY?

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Obviously Ace and Deuce are there, and so is Grim and Jack and Epel. They practically follow you everywhere so of course they’d help you set up!! Even if they really don’t wanna.

Riddle, Leona, and Vil are there too. Leona doesn’t really wanna be there, but he can’t let his poor weak herbivore do it all on their own, can he?

No, he can’t. He likes you too much to leave you alone because he knows only like, 3 people are gonna help you out.

Riddle is there to make sure no one breaks any rules and behaves accordingly and Vil is there to make sure everything is absolutely perfect. It’s a big party after all, and anything other than perfect could ruin his reputation!!! And we wouldn’t want that, would we??:(

You’re setting the table, trying to make everything as perfectly set as possible. Yet no matter how straight and how perfect you put down those plates and silverware, Vil is correcting it and criticizing you.

“Is it really that hard to set the table correctly Prefect? I know not having magic shouldn’t effect your ability to set a table..” he’d complain, fixing yet another fork you apparently laid down incorrectly.

And you’d stay quiet, getting more and more upset by the minute as you continued setting the table.

And everyone could tell you were getting fed up, but decided to stay quiet for their own good, because they know how Vil is.

“Prefect, at this point it might be better for me to set this table. You’re doing it all wrong. It looks absolutely hideous.” He complained again, making you look up from the fork he asked you to adjust.

“Vil, it looks fine. Can’t you go bother somebody else? I know how to set a table.” You finally talked back, making everyone look up and turn to you two.

“It doesn’t look fine. It looks horrendous. Just like your skin. Have you been doing that skincare routine I showed you?” He fussed, reaching out to touch your face, “and besides, the table only looks a little bit better because I fixed it. Like I said, it doesn’t take magic to set a table, now does it? You should be able to do this with no issues, right?”

You backed away from him, huffing as you did so. “No, I haven’t. I’ve been too busy planning this party and with school and with you guys. I don’t have time for that stuff right now.”

Leona then interrupts, getting in between you two.

“Leave the herbivore alone, table looks fine,” he mumbled with a yawn, “if it looks so awful, maybe you should do it yourself.” He leaned against you, closing his eyes as he spoke.

You sent Leona a thankful smile, looking at Vil as he glared sharply at the both of you.

“Are you being serious? Leona, look at it. It’s a mess. Great Seven, you can’t even set a table correctly. What are you good for, anyways? You’re magicless, you lack strength in general, you can’t even take care of yourself, and your grades are slipping!”

“You’re awful. I will never, never understand why the Black Mirror brought you here.”

The room went silent. The dishes in your hand went clattering to the floor, some shattering on impact.

You knew he can be an asshole, but fuck man.

That hurt.

That hurt a lot.

“You know what, Vil? Fuck you. I’m fucking trying, okay? But it’s hard to focus on things when I’m tackling one overblot and problem after another. I know you’re stressed out and shit, but you don’t need to take it out on me.” You took a deep breath, glaring at him as you teared up.

“I’m so fucking done.”

Before you knew it, your eyes were filled with tears and you were running out the door, hearing your friends shout for you as you ran.

God you wanna go home..

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Oh how I love angst!!

I really wanna make a part 2!! Would you guys like that? Lemme knowwwww!!

If I do make a part two, we’ll see Neige and get a lil more info about Vil and why he said what he said🤞🤞

[lulublack90]

Prompt 10 - Sugar

@jegulus-microfic March 10 Word count 574

Previous part First part

James hadn’t been still since he realised what he’d done. How could I let slip about Sirius? He’s my best friend. My brother. One of the most important people in my life. But so is Peter. Was? He wasn’t sure anymore. Up until last night, he hadn’t thought for a second any of his friends could be working for Voldemort. Well, apart from the ones he actually knew were. 

Peter was his oldest friend, and while he knew they’d drifted apart a bit over the years. Sirius and Remus filled the place. He’d still thought they were close. 

He needed to talk about this. But not with Sirius. Sirius would do something impulsive. He’d get himself killed. So, James decided to keep quiet. Regulus and the others would probably be his best bet as they didn’t have any strong feelings for his friend. Ex-friend? Enemy? 

He replayed their time in the teashop, looking for anything that might help him deny Peter’s involvement. 

A wave of dread hit him. He’d told Peter to drop in on his mother. He didn’t even think about it and apparated to his childhood home. 

His mother welcomed him and embraced him warmly, refusing to let him go until he started spluttering that he couldn’t breathe. 

“Tea, love?” She asked as they entered the kitchen. 

“Yeah, go on then.” He smiled at his mother as she bustled around the kitchen. He felt calm. Calmer than he had for weeks. 

“How is everyone?” Effie asked as she placed the tea things in the middle of the table. “I’ve not seen any of the boys for weeks. It’s not like Sirius to stay away so long.” James felt his heart sink. He hadn’t been over in weeks, either. So much had happened, and he couldn’t tell her about any of it. 

“Just busy with assignments, Mum. It’s been one after the other. I’m sorry I haven’t visited.” He looked over at her sadly. She reached out and grasped his hand in hers. 

“I’m just happy to see you, my darling. Even if it is so infrequently.” She winked at him and poured the tea. 

James added sugar to his tea, stirring it noisily, banging the teaspoon against the side. Euphemia winced and let out a breath once he’d put the teaspoon down. She stirred her own tea without a single clink of the china. 

She made them lunch, and James managed to relax fully. His Mother had always been able to do that. 

He started to feel anxious when it was time to leave. He had to say something. Put her on her guard. 

“Mum?”

“Yes, love?” She answered as she put together a care package for him to take back to his flat. 

“Just be careful who you let in, yeah? Even if it’s someone you know, be on your guard, don’t say anything that should be secret.” Euphemia stopped what she was doing and turned to look at her son.

“James, has something happened?” Her face was full of concern. 

“I—I don’t know. Maybe. Just be careful, yeah.” He took the food his mother pressed into his hands and headed for the door. 

“Mum, don’t say anything around Peter. He’s been acting odd.” He didn’t wait to see his mother’s reaction and apparated away. She’d convince him he was wrong about Peter. Because, it was Peter. But, this time, he couldn’t help but feel that she would be wrong.   

Next part

[vodika-vibes]

Worth Fighting For

Summary: After battling illness your childhood, your parents have become suffocating, not even allowing you to attend university due to their anxiety. So you make the extreme decision to enlist in the Mandalorian army.

Pairing: Marshal Commander Neyo x Reader

Word Count: 3786

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023

A/N: The most recent of my Magic and Knights AU. I really, really need to figure out how speeders work in this setting. Magic? Magic Technology? I dunno. I'll figure it out I'm sure.

Divider by Saradika

When you were a child, you were prone to illness. You once spent three months in the hospital while the healers tried to determine what was wrong with you and why you were so sick all of the time. 

There was a long period of time where your parents believed that they were going to have to bury you.

Luckily, that wasn’t the case. Eventually your healer team found a cocktail of medications and elixirs that sent your illness into remission, and, as you grew older, the illness went away completely. 

Until, by the time you were nine, you no longer had to visit your doctors multiple times a year, and could go yearly just like everyone else in your family.

Of course, the knowledge that you’re fine didn’t do anything to settle your parents' anxiety. They feared, so much, a relapse of your illness that they homeschooled you, and you were barred from any extracurricular activities. You had no friends, and the only people you were allowed to spend any time with were your own siblings and your cousins.

But, oh, you yearn.

You want to see the world. Want to go to the beach and camp by the ocean and watch the tides come in and go out. You want to make friends with witches and wizards and merfolk.

You want.

And that’s a problem for your parents.

You are now 18 years old, and you’ve not been for half of your life. And you’ve recently started looking at universities. And you’re excited. Excited to go out and see the world, to make friends, to experience new things.

But there’s one problem. Well. Two, really. And you call them mom and dad.

“It’s just,” Your dad nervously opens and closes the brochure for a college on the other side of the continent, “It’s so far away, baby. Wouldn’t you rather stay local? You can even stay at home-”

“Dad,”

“No, no. He has a point.” Your mother fusses as she picks through the stack of brochures from various universities, “It’s too far away. Baby, all of these universities are so far away. If you get sick-”

“I haven’t been sick in years, mom. I want to go!”

“Just…go where, sweetie?” Your dad asks.

“Anywhere that’s not here!” You blurt, “I love you, you’re great! But you’re suffocating me!”

Your mom sniffles, “You’re only saying those hurtful things because you’re young and you don’t understand the way the world works.”

“I’m saying it because I mean it!”

“Sweetie-”

“No! You always do this! You don’t listen!”

“Enough!” Your dad shouts, and then he takes a deep breath, “Enough.” He repeats, “We’re done talking about this. Go to your room. I’ll not have you make your mom cry.”

You sigh and your shoulders slump, “Fine.” You spin on your heels, and stalk out of the kitchen, but instead of going to your room, you go down into the basement where your older siblings have gathered.

You hear a whispered, “Act natural!” As you step into the carpeted room, and you raise an eyebrow.

Your older sister is staring, intently, at a vase that you’re pretty sure she hates. And your older twin brothers seem to be locked in a deep discussion about…ponies?

“...you heard all of that, didn’t you?” You ask.

“What?” Your sister asks, “Oh, you mean that chat between you and the rents? No. Nooo. Of course not.”

“You are an abysmal liar, Bell.”

She frowns, “I know.” Bella tosses the vase into a box where it, miraculously, doesn’t shatter, “We weren’t trying to eavesdrop, but you were all very…loud.”

“They’re not going to let you go, you know that right?” Zak, the older of your twin brothers, says quietly. “You’re going to be stuck here for your entire life.”

“I don’t want that though!” You exclaim as you drop onto the couch between the twins, and Jak, the younger brother, drapes his arm over your shoulder.

“We know that, kiddo.” Jak says quietly, “They’re just…afraid.”

“I know that. But they’re being ridiculous.” You drop your head on Jak’s shoulder, “I don’t want to spend my whole life here. I’m…lonely.”

Zak hesitates, and then he leans towards you, “Have you considered just…leaving?”

“Zak! You can’t tell her that!” Bella hisses, “Ignore him, baby. He’s full of nothing but bad ideas.” She says as she smacks the back of Zak’s head, “and hot air.” She adds scathingly.

“...right.” You reply, as a half formed idea starts brewing in the back of your mind.

“How about we play a game?” Jak offers, “Something to get your mind off of things. We have…monopoly?”

“We’re not allowed to play that after the last time,” You remind him with a small smile.

“Bella’s a cheater!” Zak shouts from where he’s standing on a chair.

“Cheater! You’re the one who refused to pay!” Bella shouts back, looking like she’s about to tackle Zak.

“Oh. Yeah.” Jak mutters.

You muffle a laugh as Jak jumps to his feet to try and stop the fight that’s brewing, though you’re pretty sure that he’s actually encouraging the fight based on some of the things he’s saying.

And for a little bit, you’re able to move your annoyance to the back of your mind.

But only for a little bit.

Because the moment you lay down for bed several hours later, after a dinner that was completely catered to you and what you like, your mind starts racing. 

You can’t get Zak’s suggestion out of your mind.

“Have you ever considered just…leaving?”

The short answer is yes, of course you have. Many times over the years since you were released from the hospital. The first time was when you were ten years old, and you even got so far as to buying a ticket to anywhere but here-

But you got scared, and you backed out. Where would you have gone? Who would you have turned to?

You roll onto your side and you reach into your bedside table. Hidden under a false bottom (made by your grandfather and magically protected by your grandmother when they realized that you have no privacy) is a small carved box.

And inside the box is your passport and a ticket, and every form of identification you might need to make an identity for yourself anywhere else.

Eight years ago, when you went to refund the ticket, the lady at the counter took one look at you, and made you an offer that you couldn’t refuse. Instead of refunding the ticket, she altered it. It can be used one time, at any point in time. 

You pick up the ticket and trail your fingers over the raised letters.

Ticket for one to Mandalore. One way.

You stare at the ticket and your passport for a long minute, and then you sit up. You shove the ticket into the passport, grab your box of paperwork, and swing your legs off the side of your bed.

You peel off your pajamas, and pull on some travel clothes, and then, from behind a false panel in your closet, you grab your bug-out bag and shove the box of paperwork to the bottom.

You take one more look around your room, grab your sneakers, and then open the bedroom window and climb out onto the roof. You shut the window quietly, and then pull on your shoes, and you drop from the roof to the backyard.

You have until noontime tomorrow before anyone will look for you.

It’s time enough.

It has to be.

With that thought in mind, you slip out the back gate of the garden and as soon as you’re on the street, you start running. The last carriage to Mandalore leaves at 11 pm. You have 45 minutes to get to the station, and onto the carriage before you’re SOL.

12 hours later, and grateful for the magic that makes long distance carriage travel faster than anything else, you hop off the carriage in Mandalore. You have money enough for a week in an inn, but you’re hoping it won’t come to that.

You hurry over to customs and you smile nervously at the red and white clad soldier checking the passports, “And your reason for visiting Mandalore?”

You lift your chin, “I want to enlist.”

He pauses and glances at you, and then lets out a quiet laugh, “Well, good luck with that. The nearest recruitment center is just to the left of the station.” He stamps your passport, and waves you off.

“Thank you,” You grab your bag, and your passport, and you hurry out of the station, following the directions the soldier gave you.

Once standing in front of the recruitment center, you take a deep, steadying breath and you push the door open. A large man steps out of the office, and he shoots you a dismissive look, “The Dance School is just down the street, ad.”

You straighten your spine and lift your chin, “I’m here to enlist.”

The man pauses and looks you over, “How old are you?”

“18.”

“Can you prove it?”

“I have all of my paperwork.” You reply.

The man shifts his weight slightly, and turns to regard you thoughtfully, “Do your parents know you’re here?”

“I’m old enough to enlist without their permission.” You counter.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“It’s the answer you’re getting,” You reply, “Sir.” You add belatedly.

A grin crosses his scarred features, “You know how to fight, kid?”

“I can learn.”

“Alright. Follow me. Let’s see where you fit in.” He pauses, “I’m Alpha-17, ARC Commander.”

You flash a razor sharp grin as you introduce yourself.

*********

Three months later, after three months of what you lovingly refer to as Living Hell, you are assigned to the 91st Mobile Recon Unit.

You’re the only person from your basic training who was assigned to the 91st, everyone else getting slotted to other battalions. When you question it, thinking that you were going to get slotted to the 104th, Alpha just smirks and tells you that Neyo has a complicated personality, and he deserves you.

“You the new recruit?” The man who approaches you is taller than you, with a tattoo under his left eye.

“Yes sir.” You reply. Your armor is still new and shiny, without any markings or paint on it, though you know you’ll earn your paint soon enough.

“Marshal Commander Neyo,” He introduces himself, “Do you even know how to use one of the mobile speeders?”

You meet his gaze evenly, “I did complete basic,” You retort, “Sir.” You add as almost an afterthought.

His eyebrows shoot up, “You’re going to be a problem, aren’t you, Private?”

“Commander Alpha-17 said that you deserve me,” You counter, “Sir.” You intentionally add belatedly.

He takes a deep breath, “Go find your fucking tent, private.”

“Yes sir.” You salute and hurry to your tent, a tent you share with five other women. It’s awkward at first though the six of you quickly form unlikely friendships. It’s made even more awkward from the fact that you’re the youngest person in the tent.

In fact, you’re the youngest person in the battalion by several years. 

In spite of that, you’re a hard worker, you learn fast, and you earn the respect of the other members of your battalion. Well, most of them. You’re fairly certain that the commander hates you.

Of course, you only think that because whenever you see him he’s glaring at you. And you think that he’s waiting for you to mess up in such a way that he can send you away.

But, well, you’ve always been stubborn.

******************

It’s been a month since you have been assigned to the 91st, and things move both quickly and painfully slowly.

But eventually orders come from up high and the battalion finds itself scrambling to do what they have been ordered to do.

Lieutenant Beam hurries over to you as you’re preparing your speeder for your orders, “There you are.” He pants out, “I have new orders for you.”

“Sir?”

“You’re being assigned to Commander Neyo for this operation.”

“What?”

“Those are the orders I was given. Go see what he needs you for.” Beam smiles apologetically and lightly taps the painted wolf print on your pauldron, “I know it’s not what you wanted, little hunter.”

“Well, orders are orders,” You reply as you stand and grab your helmet, from the seat of your speeder and hook it to your hip.

“That’s a spirit.” Beam offers a half wave and hurries off, while you hurry in the other direction. You slip into the white and burgundy tent that marked Commander Neyo’s war room, and you stand to the side as he continues giving orders to the other commanders.

Commander Neyo glances at you, but doesn’t directly speak to you until the other Commanders have left. “You’re with me today, an’edee.”

“So the lieutenant said,” You reply as you cross the tent over to him, “May I ask why?”

Neyo scowls, “I got a call from Alpha. He wants you for the ARC program.”

“...I’m flattered, but I’ve been a soldier for four months.” You point out.

“You’re clever and think on your feet. The ARCs need that.” Neyo replies, “But I’m not super inclined to let you go, an’edee. You’re a damned good recon spec. And I can and will fight Alpha for you.”

“And here I thought that you hated me.”

“I think you’re a pain in the ass,” Neyo replies, “Luckily for you, you’re far less irritating than some of the people I work with.”

“Huh.” You absently drum your fingers on your helmet, “So why am I with you then?”

“Easiest way for me to come up with a reason to not send you away is to keep you close.” Neyo pulls his helmet on, and you do the same, “We’ll be taking my speeder. You’re driving. Come over here.” You jog over to him and look down at the map spread out on the table, “The majority of the battalion is going to be doing recon on the southern ledge,” Neyo gestures to the point on the map, “We are coming from the opposite direction.”

“Do we think that Dooku and his army are in the ravine?” You ask.

“What do you think?” Neyo asks in return.

“...I wouldn’t. It’s too risky. Too much of a chance to get flanked.” You decide thoughtfully, “I would put a token force in the ravine, and then put the majority of my forces somewhere else.”

“I agree, an’edee.” He glances at you, “It’s shit like that is why Alpha wants you for the ARCs.”

You huff, and shake your head, “Come on. That’s just common sense.”

“You’d be surprised at how much common sense is lacking in the military,” Neyo replies, “Come on. We need to get to work.”

He leads you out of the tent and over to his speeder. You hop up into the driver's seat and start the speeder. Neyo gets on behind you and makes sure his weapons are secure. 

“You’re good to go, an’edee.” He says to you through the comm in your helmet. You nod once, and start moving. “Don’t forget, we’re going north.”

“I remember,” You reply, as you veer the speeder towards the north.

Later, you wouldn’t remember, exactly, the events that came 45 minutes after you left the tent. 

You remember seeing something while you were piloting that sent off every single warning sign you could think of. You remembered sharply veering to the left, and flinging your weight to the left.

You remember a click that made your stomach drop, and you remember Neyo hooking his arm around you and pulling you off the speeder, putting the speeder between you and the explosive. And you remember him twisting the pair of you so he was between you and the speeder.

You remember the concussive blast of the explosion, and that’s it. 

*******

You wake with a groan of pain. 

The first thing you do is reach up and pull your helmet off, it feels too tight which suggests that it took some damage. You drop it to the side, and then look over Neyo, who’s sprawled over your chest.

Carefully, very carefully, you reach out and remove his helmet to check his breathing, and you sigh in relief when you see that he’s alive. With that done, you roll him off of you, and grab your light orb from your hip and light it.

You look around, and then you look up, and you hum thoughtfully. It looks like the explosion opened a hole in the ground, and sent you, and your commander, tumbling into a cave. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the armor, you’d both probably be dead.

And the fall explains the massive damage to your helmet. You carefully decide to stand, and you groan as your armor pinches tightly. You strip off all of your armor, and set them to the side, they were going to be more of a hindrance than a help at the moment anyway, and you take several steps away from Neyo to try and figure out a way out.

You stop, though, when he groans. 

“Commander?” you move to his side and kneel, holding the light aloft, “Are you awake?”

“An’edee, get the light out of my eyes,” Neyo says as he squints at you, and you sheepishly lower the light, “Better, what happened?”

“It looks like the explosion opened a hole in the ground and we fell through.” You explain.

He looks you over, “Where’s your armor?”

“Had to take it off, it was crushing me.” You jab your thumb towards the pile of armor, “I didn’t break anything when I landed, fortunately.”

Neyo sits up, and quickly removes his own armor, before sighing in relief, “You’re covered in bruises, an’edee.”

“So are you.” You point out, “Do you think you can stand?”

“Yeah.” He gets to his feet with a groan, “These are going to hurt tomorrow.”

“They hurt now,” You say dryly.

“They’ll hurt more tomorrow.” Neyo corrects with a roll of his eyes.

“Well then, we’d better find a way out and to a medic before we have to deal with that.” You say with a painful shrug.

“Hm.” Neyo’s gaze drifts down your body, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in just your blacks before.”

“It’s not like I walked around camp without my armor,” You reply, “None of us do.” You shoot him a look, “You try being one of twenty women in a battalion, and walking around in skin tight material.”

Neyo doesn’t say anything for a moment, “I suppose you have a point. It is very distracting.”

“...so sorry, that my body is a distraction.” You say sarcastically.

“If we hadn’t just been blown up, an’edee, I wouldn’t mind the distraction.” Neyo counters with a small smirk.

“You…I don’t think you’re allowed to say stuff like that to me.”

“Does it bother you?”

“I didn’t say that,” You say, “Do you hear that?”

He pauses, and tilts his head, “Sounds like running water. We were pretty close to the ravine.”

“Which means there should be a way out.” You finish with a grin.

Thirty minutes later, you find a cave entrance…and a large number of the 91st. The pair of you are ushered back to camp, and banished to the medical tent, where you’re slathered in bacta, and then ordered to rest.

You’re still awake though, laying on your back and trying to ignore the throbbing of your back, arms, and legs, and really everything. It’s not working. The more you ignore it the more they hurt.

“You still awake, an’edee?” Neyo asks, his voice quiet.

“Yeah. I fucking hurt.”

He releases a laugh, “Yeah, same.” Neyo is quiet for a moment, “You’re not Mandalorian, right?”

“Alpha promised me Mandalorian citizenship as soon as I finished my first deployment.” You reply, “But no. I’m Alderaanian.”

“How does a girl from Alderaan find herself enlisted in the Mandalorian army?” Neyo asks.

“My parents.”

“What? They made you?”

You laugh, “Nah. They were stupidly overprotective. I wanted to go to college. They wouldn’t let me, so I ran away and joined the army.”

“That seems kind of…extreme.”

“Overprotective is kind of an understatement. I never went to school, never had extracurriculars, never had any friends. It was a very lonely childhood.” You say, “I just wanted to go. And when they refused to even consider university for me, I took the next best choice.”

“Have you enrolled?” Neyo asks.

“Sorry?”

“In university. There is a University in Mandalore, you know.”

“Well, I don’t know if you noticed, but we’re kind of at war right now.” You reply blandly.

“Oh, is that what this is?”

You turn your head to glare at him, “You think you’re funny, don’t you?”

He smirks at you, “When the deployment ends, you can enroll. I’ll even help you.”

“Great, then I’ll be even more likely to become an ARC.”

“You don’t want it?”

“I like this battalion. You’re an asshole, but I can be an asshole right back to you. I might not have that option in other battalions.” You pause, “Plus, you’re cute.”

Neyo releases a short laugh, “We all have the same face, an’edee.”

“So what you’re saying is I should go flirt with Commander Bacara then?”

“Absolutely fucking not. You can flirt with me.”

“Is that right?” You roll onto your side, “So…are you tired of running through my mind all day?” You ask with a wide grin.

Neyo bursts out laughing and then groans, and folds his arm over his ribs, “That was awful and you should feel terrible for making me listen to it.”

“Sorry,” You say, unrepentantly.

“No you’re not, don’t lie.”

“No, I’m not.” You agree with a laugh.

He rolls over and looks at you, “So…” Neyo starts.

“So?”

“There’s a place not far from the palace that sells the best curry known to man. Have you been?”

“I got off the carriage from Alderaan and immediately enlisted…so no.”

“That’s a shame. When we get back from deployment, I’ll take you.” Neyo says.

“Like, on a date.”

“Exactly like a date.” He replies.

“Hm…sounds like fun.” You say lightly, “But you realize you definitely have to send me to Alpha-17 now.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He glances at you with a soft smile, “You’re going to be a great ARC Knight.”

And you grin at him.

Eventually you’ll reach out to your parents. Eventually you’ll explain your decisions and your reasonings for running away. But right here, right now, there’s someone who supports you 100%, and you’ve never been happier.

[bonnefeta]

I recently saw a tiktok talking about which of the Fallout protagonists people most prefer, in light of the fact the Fallout show is coming out soon ish.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the most popular answer was the courier, which makes sense because New Vegas is a masterpiece, but also a lot of people talked about liking their backstory being less scripted.

Like compared to the lone wanderer or the sole survivor there isn’t like a cut scened backstory about your family or anything, the courier just pops up with a blank slate you can imagine however you want.

I totally get that, don’t get me wrong I love New Vegas, but having thought about it I do find the journey of the sole survivor and the lone wanderer effected me a lot more.

Especially the lone wanderer who I reckon is probably my favourite.

The characters I remember from New Vegas often have very little to do with my character. Like I remember the NPCs I met but the courier is basically just my eyes and ears, a much more blank slate.

With Fallout 3 I remember feeling gut punched by a lot of those moments, leaving the vault for the first time, finding your father and then loosing him, they really hit emotionally because I’m invested in the story of my player character.

But the main one I want to focus on is one of the moments I’ve found most impactful across all the games I’ve played,

Leaving the vault for the 2nd time.

Now not everyone might have done this quest, I’m pretty sure I missed it on my first playthrough, but if you haven’t ever done it you absolutely need too.

After your father dies if you return to Megaton you can pick up a distress frequency from the Vault where you hear Amata (your old bff and one of my favourite minor characters) asking for your help specifically. Something has gone wrong back home and you need to came back to fix it.

So you toddle off back home, and either help (or hinder) the vault get through a mini civil war. For the purposes of this post we’ll go with help.

So you save the vault, Amata is now in charge and everyone is safe and sound again, thanks to you. You’ve managed to save your home.

But you can’t stay.

Amata breaks the news to you that even after everything you’ve done there’s too much bad blood for you to stay. People blame you for the chaos, the change it’s brought. Amata can lead them into a better future but you can’t be at her side while it happens.

So you leave.

You walk out the vault door again, and as it closes behind you and you head back out into the wasteland you’re alone again.

The first time I played it (and honestly every time since) I was hit with such a strange grief. Like a hollow sad feeling I wasn’t expecting. Loosing your father is sad but this felt more impactful to me for some reason.

Maybe it’s the one-two punch of it, like lose your father and lose your home. But I for me it’s always reminds of the quote “you can never go home again” by Thomas Wolfe.

I don’t know exactly why this concept has always stuck with me, like it’s just stuck in my brain and it never really leaves. Maybe it’s from moving inter-state when I was a kid, and a few times since. But that idea of wishing to go back to a place where things were better, where you were happier, only to go there and realise it’s not how you remembered, and that you don’t belong any more, I guess it hits home.

You’ve been cast out into the wasteland, gone from your relatively comfortable and happy home into a world of violence and chaos and horror, only to lose your father. You fail, your defeated by the enclave, you’re starting again after a devastating setback, and when you’re at your lowest you get just a crumb of hope.

You get to go home, back to that place, but it’s not the same. Even when you ‘fix it’, you end the violence, there’s still no place for you there.

You just don’t fit any more.

And so you leave, you’re alone again. There’s no going back to when things were better, and the road ahead is more than hard, it’s probably impossible and even if you do succeed life will still probably never be easy.

But the vault door is sealed behind you, there’s no where to go but forward.

I know this is reading so deeply into a very minor side quest from a game from 15 years ago, but I honestly think it’s some of Bethesda’s best storytelling and kind of criminally overlooked in all the new Fallout talk.

[crownmemes]

Angry & Irritated Sentences, Vol. 2

(Angry and irritated sentences from various sources. Adjust phrasing where needed)

“I will not be manipulated like this.”

“Don’t be smart. I’m the smart one.”

“I need you to give this matter your full attention - is that quite clear?”

“Why should I apologise for trying to save a man’s life?”

“Where’s your decency? Your compassion?”

“Who is it? Who’s betraying me?”

“You’ve wanted rid of me since this whole thing started!”

“I warned you; don’t get involved.”

“I will kill you if you ever breathe a word of this to anyone!”

“From now on, you will stay out of this. ”

“After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?”

“You can’t see it because you’re clearly attracted to her!”

“If I tell you what I know, do you promise not to bite my head off?”

“I’m trying to sleep; can you stop ringing my damn phone?”

“He spoke to me as if I were a bloody child! I will not be patronised!”

“You are a back-stabbing, heartless, manipulative bastard!”

“We’re not actually going to discuss this, are we?”

“Am I happy too? I haven’t checked.”

“You heard me perfectly. I’m not saying it again.”

“I hate seeing other people happy. ”

“Why do you worry about me so much? You’re not my mother!”

“From now on, leave your ego out of it.”

“Who are you to judge me?”

“How dare you spoil my party!”

“I’m not stupid, you know?”

“You’re far too clever for your own good.”

“You show a man a bit of maternal affection and he’s all over you like a cheap suit!”

“Every single day there is something to do and I am sick of it.”

“Did you summon me here just to humiliate me?”

“I could be wrong, but I think that’s none of your business.”

“Do you think I came here by choice?”

“You don’t know anything about me!”

“You know, you could just phone me, if you didn’t have this bloody stupid power complex.”

“Nobody asked you to sacrifice yourself.”

“You are dangerously close to impertinence.”

“That’s quite enough. Nobody asked you to be observant.”

“This is absolutely ridiculous and you know it!”

“How dare you take my words and mangle them to suit your own purpose!”

“Is this merely steam-of-consciousness abuse, or are you attempting to make a point?”

“Everyone’s so stupid. Even you.”

“My patience is wearing thin.”

“You have no business looking into my family!”

[shiningwonderland]

Otoya Ittoki (Repeat)

Translator: Mae (Twitter: itoshikimaegirl)

Proofreader: Raz (Twitter: agnadance)

Editor: Aoi (Twitter: AoiTsukihime)

QA: Rei (Twitter: wolfe_raine)

March — Vivace

The day after Otoya-kun forced his way onto the Song Station broadcast, we faced public criticism. 

Several students had already been expelled for going against the love ban.

Despite that, we brazenly declared our relationship at the Christmas party. 

Furthermore, with this incident on Song Station, I think there are some people who can’t accept that we haven’t been expelled yet. 

In particular, those who were close with people who have gotten expelled have begun eyeing us with resentment. 

When I came to school today, I found a piece of paper in my shoe locker that said “Drop out!”

Seeing and experiencing something like that firsthand, I feel like we're doing something wrong.

In reality, we aren't doing anything wrong, but it seems everyone else thinks otherwise.

Select the Phrase!

変えていきたい。I want to change things. (+20 Love +5 Music)

I want to change things.

I want to make it so that what we’re doing isn’t considered wrong.

Even so, it still hurts a little.

少し、罪悪感。I feel a little guilty. (+0 Love +0 Music)

We haven’t done anything wrong. I believe that, but…

But there are still people who have been hurt by our actions…

That’s the truth of the matter.

悔しい。It’s frustrating. (+10 Love +0 Music)

I want to be understood. How can I make them understand, though?

Otoya Ittoki: Haruka, what’s up? …Ah, that again… No surprise there’s pushback with what we're doing…

When Otoya-kun arrives at school, he notices me standing frozen in the hall and calls out to me.

Otoya Ittoki: I was ready for this but… Is it hard? 

Select the Phrase!

うん。少し。Yeah. A little. (+0 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: The students who were expelled weren’t given the same chance we got—they were expelled without question.

Haruka Nanami: But… here we are. I’m sure the love they felt was no different from how you feel about me, so it feels kind of awkward.

Otoya Ittoki: Truth is, it doesn’t really matter whether it’s different or not. We’re still here.

Otoya Ittoki: That’s why we should believe in ourselves and do our best. There are still things we can do!

Haruka Nanami: Right!

大丈夫。頑張ろう。I’m okay. We’ve got this. (+20 Love +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I’m able to endure because I’m not alone… So, please stay with me forever…

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah, I promise. I’ll never leave you alone. 

わかってたことだから。We knew this would happen. (+10 Love +10 Music)

 Haruka Nanami: I have to do my best…

Otoya Ittoki: You don’t have to do it on your own. I’m right here, so if things feel hard, just let me know. I’ll protect you.

Haruka Nanami: Thanks.

Male Student A: Hey, it’s those guys, the two from the rumors. 

Male Student B: Yeah, must be nice, being able to flirt out in the open.

Haruka Nanami: …

Otoya Ittoki: Right! There’s nothing wrong with romance! That’s what I think. 

Otoya Ittoki: I’m just doing what I believe is right for me. You should do the same. 

Otoya Ittoki: If we all appeal to him like that, I’m sure the principal will understand. That’s what I believe! 

When Otoya-kun speaks up, the students who had been gossiping about us quietly leave.

Otoya Ittoki: Hmph! Just stand tall as yourself! There’s nothing to be scared of. 

Select the Phrase!

驚いたけど････ I’m surprised, but… (+0 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: It really is true. 

Right… it is. I try to convince myself that’s the case.

It’s not good to sneak around.

ありがとう。Thanks. (+20 Love +0 Music)

Otoya Ittoki: It’s nothing much, what are you thanking me for? It’s a boyfriend’s job to protect his girlfriend!

Haruka Nanami: I… suppose so. But hey, that’s still kind of embarrassing. Stuff like “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”...

Otoya Ittoki: C’mon, get used to it already~ 

頼りになるね。You’re reliable, aren’t you? (+10 Love +0 Music)

Otoya Ittoki: Huh? You’re only noticing now? I thought I was a pretty reliable guy, but maybe I haven’t been as loving as I should?

Haruka Nanami: No, that’s not true… I don’t think…

Otoya Ittoki: Really? 

Afterward, we continued to be slandered and received a bit of harassment. 

Nevertheless, we weren't discouraged, and we continued to practice every day.

Then, today…

I head to the recording room alone in order to make some final adjustments. 

Otoya-kun wanted to come with me, but I told him not to come since he would lose his voice if he didn’t rest properly. 

I have to finish this by tonight…

Besides the mixing, we also played the instruments ourselves or asked others to play them for us. We also recorded our own harmonies. 

All that’s left is to adjust the balance and polish it for the performance. 

It’s a lonely battle, relying only on my own ears. 

The last things to work on are…

I wonder what I should work on first. 

Select the Phrase!

とにかく聴く。Just listen . (+0 Love +5 Music)

I’ll give it a listen and check for places that need improvement. 

I want to make it sound as good as possible for the performance, and make it as easy as possible for the singer to sing. 

I need to be certain I don’t miss even the slightest hitch. 

Just like that, I work on the song until morning. 

データを見る。Check over the data. (+0 Love +5 Music)

We check information not only with our ears, but also our eyes. 

Now that the data can be viewed on a computer, I can check for even the smallest of discrepancies. 

Then, I just have to balance the music and…

Just like that, I manage to complete the song by morning. 

バランスを調整する。Adjust the balance. (+0 Love +5 Music)

I can’t fine-tune things in my dorm room, but here I’m fully equipped for it. 

I can only do the things I need here in the studio, which is why I came here…

And so I manage to complete the song by morning. 

Then, the day before the performance. Our last day to practice to perfection. 

Otoya Ittoki: Hey, Haruka. What do you think, does this suit me?

Otoya-kun holds a beautiful, silver accessory up to his chest and shows it to me. 

Haruka Nanami: Yes, it suits you well. It’s beautiful. But where did it…

Otoya Ittoki: Right. It was a gift from everyone at the orphanage. They all scraped together their pocket change for it. 

The accessory gleams next to Otoya’s narrowed, happy eyes. 

Otoya Ittoki: They said it’s a good luck charm… for the performance to be a success. 

Otoya Ittoki: The orphanage has a pretty high turnover rate, but despite a lot of them being lonely, they try to be positive and have as much fun as possible. 

Otoya Ittoki: They’ve helped me out a lot too. I feel like everyone at the orphanage is my real family these days.  

Otoya Ittoki: So, when I wear this, I can remember I’m not alone. It gives me a lot of courage!

Select the Phrase!

みんなの気持ちが嬉しいね! I’m happy they feel that way! (+20 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Ah… I see. You’re kind, so everyone is kind back to you, right? 

Haruka Nanami: They must really love you.

かっこいいね。How cool. (+5 Love +5 Music)

 Haruka Nanami: That kind of accessory suits you really well, Otoya-kun. 

Haruka Nanami: I’m sure it was chosen with all consideration. I can feel the love from it. 

音也くん、人気者だね。Otoya-kun, you’re popular, huh. (+10 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I can feel their strong love for you, Otoya-kun. 

Otoya Ittoki: When you put it that way, it’s a little embarrassing. Yeah. I love everyone there too. This kind of thing makes me happy. 

Otoya Ittoki: But my greatest source of energy is you…

He gazes at me pointedly. 

Otoya Ittoki: I want to continue where we left off at the school festival. Is that okay? 

He rests his hand on my cheek. 

Haruka Nanami: You… shouldn’t. 

Otoya Ittoki: Why not?

Haruka Nanami: I want to hold off until we win the graduation audition. 

Otoya Ittoki: I see, I see. A kiss as a reward! Nice, I’m feeling motivated now. 

Otoya Ittoki: Alllright, let’s do this! You can look forward to it too. Right!

And so we practice until late into the night.

Mini Game

Ringo Tsukimiya: At last, we reach the final lesson. Whether you become a pro or not… This is where the game is called—game, set, match. 

Ringo Tsukimiya: There’s nothing more I can teach you. All that remains is for you to do your best at the graduation audition…

Ringo Tsukimiya: This will be the final check. I’ll be listening strictly from the same perspective as the judges. Please do your best for this performance!

Ringo Tsukimiya: And make sure to get the results you want. I believe in you. 

Ringo Tsukimiya: Right, let’s hear it. Give me your best shot!

S Rank

Otoya Ittoki: We’ve finally come this far. Now I can show everyone just how great you and I really are. We’re going to win, I promise. Trust me!

Haruka Nanami: Yes. I trust you. I’ll be cheering from the audience, watching the entire time…

Haruka Nanami: Enjoy the stage… and my song as well. 

The day of the performance. 

Otoya Ittoki: Ahhh!!! 

As soon as he enters the classroom being used as a green room, Otoya cries out.

Haruka Nanami: What’s wrong?

Otoya Ittoki: The costume is… gone… The accessory too…

Haruka Nanami: No…

They were definitely still here yesterday. 

Otoya Ittoki: Damn it. Everyone worked so hard on it… I was happy they gave it to me.

Haruka Nanami: Otoya-kun…

Otoya Ittoki: Everyone said they were looking forward to coming to see it today. And now…

Otoya Ittoki: I was careless. I should have brought it with me instead of leaving it here. 

Haruka Nanami: I wonder if this is more harassment? How can we make people understand?

Otoya Ittoki: It’s no surprise there’s been backlash after what we did. But, I’m sure everyone will understand eventually. 

Otoya Ittoki: It’s no good to lose heart here. We’ll absolutely find everything and stand on stage in perfect form.

Otoya Ittoki: I’ll sing with pride. There are things that can only be conveyed through singing. I’m well aware of that. 

Otoya Ittoki: I’ll convey it all in one shot!

Haruka Nanami: Yes!

Otoya Ittoki: Let’s split up and look for it! We’ll find it for sure!

Haruka Nanami: Right. I’ll do my best.

Saying that, we start looking for the costume until the very last moment.

Haruka Nanami: Ah, Otoya-kun. 

Otoya Ittoki: Haruka! How’s it going? 

Haruka Nanami: I’m sorry, I couldn’t find it.

Then, suddenly…

Tokiya Ichinose: Otoya, haven’t you gotten changed yet? The show’s about to start. Not that I care what happens in your life. 

Tokiya Ichinose: It’ll be dull if you lose by disqualification. I want you to lose to me in a fair fight. 

Otoya Ittoki: Ah, Tokiya, listen to me. My costume is gone. Have you seen it anywhere?

Tokiya Ichinose: You’re doing this right before the show starts? You really are a hopeless idiot, huh. 

Tokiya Ichinose: If you can’t even keep track of a single costume, you’re not fit to be an idol. You’re not ready for this. Slacker.

Otoya Ittoki: Sorry…

Tokiya Ichinose: That’s why people do things like stealing your costume.

Haruka Nanami: Eh? Did you see anything by any chance?

Tokiya Ichinose: Yes, a couple of students were carrying a costume up to the rooftop. 

Ichinose-san mentions the outfit was red, just like Otoya-kun’s. 

Ichinose-san says it also seemed suspicious since they were heading that way when the audition was just about to begin. 

Otoya Ittoki: Seriously!! Tokiya, thank you!

Otoya-kun lurches forward and seizes Ichinose-san in a tight hug. 

Tokiya Ichinose: Let go of me—it’s too stuffy. I’m leaving now. Do your best to beat me in a proper battle. 

Saying that, Ichinose-san pulls away and leaves.

Together, we hurry to the rooftop. 

Otoya Ittoki: Ah!! It’s there! It’s right there!

Haruka Nanami: Yeah, thank goodness.

There, on the rooftop, the costume lies casually tossed aside. 

Otoya Ittoki: Okay, let’s hurry. It starts in ten minutes. 

Haruka Nanami: Right!

We grab the costume and start running. 

Otoya-kun hurriedly shoves his arms through the sleeves and finishes getting ready. 

Haruka Nanami: W-we made it just in time. 

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah, now I can sing as much as I want. I can go and fight!

Then, he pulls his hand away and smiles. 

Otoya Ittoki: I’m off! I’ll go and deliver our passionate feelings! 

Haruka Nanami: Yes!

Haruka Nanami: Next up…

We’re waiting in the wings for the cue.

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah… With all my strength, I’m gonna knock it outta the park. 

Haruka Nanami: Yeah. 

Otoya Ittoki: I’m going to win for sure. 

Haruka Nanamil: Yes. 

Otoya Ittoki: Haruka… I love you. 

Haruka Nanami: Ah… I-I love you too…

Otoya Ittoki: I’m going to convey “love” to you! So feel it from here and see how I’m perfectly matched with your song. 

Saying that with a wide grin, Otoya-kun runs out onto the stage. 

Otoya Ittoki: My name is Otoya Ittoki! As some of you may know, I violated school rules. 

Male Student A: That guy, what’s he saying all of a sudden…

Male Student B: Jeez, it’s always something with him. 

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah, that stupid school rule, the “love ban.”

Shining Saotome: Hmph. Still talking big. 

Otoya Ittoki: I don’t want to give up on my dreams or my love! But, I know it won’t be easy if I don’t win here today. 

Otoya Ittoki: And if I don’t make 1 million sales in my first year, I won’t be able to stay in the entertainment industry. 

Otoya Ittoki: I know it’s next to impossible for a complete nobody to suddenly make a million sales. 

Otoya Ittoki: Even so, I don’t want to give up before I start! No matter how hard or painful it is, I want to carry my desires through until the very end!

Otoya Ittoki: That’s how important and irreplaceable she is to me. 

Otoya Ittoki: That’s why, no matter what it takes, I’ve decided I want to live with her. We love each other and don’t want to stifle our feelings. 

Otoya Ittoki: To me, she’s already half of my life. I can’t live without her by my side. I wouldn’t be able to be myself anymore. 

Otoya Ittoki: That’s why I’m going to win this competition and I’m going to make a million sales in half a year and I’m going to get rid of this school rule!

Before I know it, the entire hall has gone silent, every single person listening to Otoya’s speech intently. 

Otoya Ittoki: Everyone wants to fall in love, right? Don’t you want to be with the girl you love forever?

Otoya Ittoki: Not a single good thing comes from lying about your feelings. 

Otoya Ittoki: That’s why I’m going to sing about what I feel honestly. This song holds all our feelings. 

Otoya Ittoki: So, listen up. This is our song. TRUST ☆ MY DREAM! 

Chapter End

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Extra cw for racism and ableism. It is quite bad in this chapter.

“No, I don’t, Master. I might think it of some men, but never of you. I don’t for a minute think that you would do her or any woman any wilful wrong. But you may do her great harm for all that. I want you to stop and think about it. I guess you haven’t thought. Kilmeny can’t know anything about the world or about men, and she may get to thinking too much of you. That might break her heart, because you couldn’t ever marry a dumb girl like her. So I don’t think you ought to be meeting her so often in this fashion. It isn’t right, Master. Don’t go to the orchard again.”

You know, this speech of Mrs. Williamson started off so well. Because she's right! Even in a world where Eric is a better person and doesn't have any of his issues towards women, he is at risk of harming Kilmeny. If this passage had ended, 'I know you're going to go home and marry an heiress like your father wants you to' it would be fine! But no, we veer hard back into ableism, with the clearly stated belief that Kilmeny's muteness means that of course Eric can't marry her.

And look. This was written in 1910 and possibly set earlier, since it was cobbled together from an earlier short story. Eric meeting Kilmeny alone without her guardians knowing about it could absolutely ruin her if anyone found out. That is the material harm he is doing here. But Mrs. Williamson's concern is not, 'you could lead her on and destroy her' it's 'if you do lead her on there is no way you could marry her because she's disabled.'

And Mrs. Williamson is framing this as a favor to Kilmeny's mother. Once again, Kilmeny exists only as an extension of her mother. Her own desires aren't even discounted, they are not even considered to exist.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Williamson's warning has made Eric realize that he is in love with Kilmeny. Sure. Fine. If you say so. But, unlike Mrs. Williamson, Eric does not think that Kilmeny's muteness is a reason he shouldn't marry her. What he says instead is,“If I can win Kilmeny’s love I shall ask her to be my wife." Which is possibly the most agency anyone has granted this woman to date! It's not, 'I shall ask her immediately,' it's 'if she should love me back then I shall ask her.'

Look, the bar for people granting Kilmeny agency is so low it may as well be a buried sewer pipe.

So Eric agrees to teach school in Lindsay next year so that he can stay close to Kilmeny and woo her. He is weird and gross about it, as is his wont: "It will be my sweet task to teach her what love means, and no man has ever had a lovelier, purer, pupil.”

You know, when most people say they're going to 'teach someone what love means' they generally mean it as a euphemism for sex. Please do not have sex with Kilmeny, Eric. I don't think she knows anything about contraception and how to protect herself.

Anyway, Eric goes back to Mrs. Williamson and says that he intends to marry Kilmeny if she'll have him. She thinks he is committing himself to a great folly. I don't genuinely understand why Kilmeny being mute is such a big deal to everyone. As far as disabilities go, hers is fairly mild. She has no trouble communicating with anyone. Is speech making really so required for a society wife?

He does agree to go speak to Kilmeny's guardians about it, and thank heavens for that. He even admits that he should have done it earlier, and was just so caught up in things he didn't think of it.

Mrs. Williamson then says something interesting, which is that in her opinion Kilmeny has also not told her aunt and uncle about their meetings, because if she had they would have forbidden them. According to Kilmeny her isolation was mostly her mother's doing, but very clearly Thomas and Janet agreed with it and maintained strict control over her after Margaret's death.

I do not think I like Thomas and Janet Gordon very much.

Mrs. Williamson is also racist about Neil, because of course she is. Neil is ~Foreign~, a word which in this context means Not One Of Us rather than its more conventional meaning of Born Elsewhere. Again, remember, Neil Gordon was born in Lindsay and raised by the Gordon family. He's no more Italian than the Williamsons. But his parents were Italian (and Lord knows if they were actually from Italy or if they too were born in Canada) and so he is forever tainted.

And we finish with Mrs. Williamson thinking to herself that Kilmeny must be very beautiful indeed to have so captivated Eric. Never mind if she's nice or funny or clever or anything else. Clearly she is beautiful, because that's the only thing that matters in the end.

Gods the philosophical and thematic underpinnings of this book are gross.

[fraudkuna]

“i think i’ve only ever been wasting my time all this time, doing nothing.”

“i don’t know about that.” gojo says. “there’s something special about standing still, isn’t there? look at us now, we were at each other’s throats just seconds ago.”

you wait for the usual fire that blooms at gojo’s taunts to fuel a witty response, but the temperature is less hot than you remember. it just makes you warm.

you breath the feeling out and wait to see if it’ll leave with your exhale. when it stays, you smile. “it feels like i’ve been standing still forever. i don’t remember the last time i felt like i’ve done anything productive.”

“that’s harsh.”

“it’s true though.”

“why do you think you need to do well?”

“because what else was i put on earth for? it feels disgusting knowing that i can’t fulfil anything, that i haven’t yet. it’s not like i’m unfortunate or anything, i have everything i need to make something of myself but i just can’t. and all this time while i can’t, everyone else can.”

“no one has it figured out. we’re all just faking.”

you shake your head. “it doesn’t matter because to me, it feels like i’ve been left behind. and how i feel is all that matters.”

the wind fills the silence before you speak again.

“i wonder how people do it.”

“do what?”

you gesture vaguely at everything. “well, life is hard, you know? the thought that all of my life and all that’ll come after, i’ll only ever be disappointing myself or failing or missing opportunities and missing timings that might just make my life better and more meaningful but it doesn’t matter because i missed it. there’ll be good things, sure, but the bad things are just, i can’t look forward to that.”

“like tripping in front of the person you like.” gojo nods wisely.

“like stumbling over your words.”

“like submitting the wrong file to your lecturer.”

“knocking over a glass of water.”

“running into a pretty girl and pressing your shoulder into her hands which were holding a sandwich thus causing mayo to drip down her shirt.”

you squint over at him. “that one sounded real.”

he waves away your concern. “i thought this was a safe space but i guess not.”

“whatever.” you laugh faintly. “i just, i don’t know. it’s hard. and i know i have no right saying something like that when all my life i’ve been privileged with education and caring parents but i, i can’t be happy and it’s all my fault.”

“you can’t help it, it’s the chemicals in your brain.”

“and what is that brain connected to?”

gojo sighs. “will depressing thoughts make your life better then?”

“no, but it’s the only thing that comes out.”

“i know you probably don’t want me to sprout words you’ve already heard before, but they’re popular statements for a reason.”

“i know.”

“does that mean you want to hear them?”

“no. i already know what you’re going to say anyway. i’m not a lost cause, gojo, i know what’s wrong with me and why it happens. i just can’t make it go away."

“you know i can’t do that.” gojo smiles. “this is your fight, won’t it be cheap if i lend you a hand? it’ll only be a temporary solution.”

you groan. “like a bandaid.”

“and scars are uglier than fresh wounds. might as well deal with it now.”

"don't say that. i think scars are beautiful."

"on everyone but you."

you frown. “what are you saying? what should i do?”

“weren’t you listening? that’s something for you to figure out.”

“what was the meaning of this conversation then?”

“was there a meaning? i thought you just wanted to rant.”

you blow a raspberry and fall backwards, starfishing on the grass. gojo joins you soon after and his pinky lightly brushes yours as if in silent support. there’s little to say at a time like this, and whatever there may be is small talk at best. so you close your mouth.

unresolved, unfinished, the feeling only tastes worse.

stars fly across the sky. while it feels as though every minute has you chained by the feet, the world will continue anyway.

you close your eyes against the night and push these feelings back for one more day.

[maddyb-rapps]

One

The Farmers Son

I’ve always felt alone but I was never truly alone. I’ve always had people responsible for me, I was a burden and I still am now. My foster parents went as soon as the world ended and after I was no longer their burden I became the burden to a group on the outskirts of Atlanta.

master list

Ivy

I sat in front of Lori as she brushed through my oily hair. “Maybe you should just cut it out.” I groan as my head jerks every time the brush pulls at the knot. I would ask Carol for the practically magic detangler spray she had for Sophia but it would feel wrong to ask because half our group was about to leave to look for the poor girl.

“Quit being dramatic I’m almost done.” She chuckles as she works through the knot. She carefully french braids my hair with gently fingers. “It’s not my fault your so tender headed.”

Once she finished I thank her as we both stand. “Are you sure it’s fine that I stay.” I can’t help but feel guilty because even Carl is going.

“No honey, don’t worry about it Dale needs help looking over everything and T-Dog that cuts pretty bad. Go ahead and rest up in the RV we’ve all had a long night. Dale will get you when we leave.”

I nod and give her a tight lip smile as I make my way to the back of the RV.

Not long after the group leaves Dale comes to tell me everyone had left. I really do appreciate the extra time he gave me. Pulling my shoes back on and grabbing my chunky sunglasses I step outside the RV into the Georgia heat.

The first thing I see is T-Dog clutching is arm. “Hey T, you feeling any better.”

“What do you fucking think.” The usual nice man snaps.

“Oh, well nice to see you too sunshine.”

“Ignore him Ivy, that’s just the fever talking. Say why don’t you go and look around for a few things for yourself. Hopefully you’ll run across some meds while you’re at it. Just don’t wonder to far.” Dale tries to give me a smile but his face is consumed with worry as he looks at T.

“Yes, sir.” I waste no time going straight towards the many abandoned cars.

My first victim was a red suv. It was a gold mine. Well a gold mine to a teenage girl. I squeal as I grab the pink juicy couture backpack. There has to be something good in here.

Pulling it open the first thing I see is mp3 player and some headphones. “Hell yeah!” Besides some other personal things I find deodorant and an unopened chapstick. Thank you Jesus for what ever queen ditched her car.

I then move to the trunk and pull out the pink suit case. This just keeps getting better and better. Unzipping it I find a whole bunch of clothes that seem close enough to my size. Slamming it shut I decided that I’m keeping it all and who even wants to say something can pry it out of my cold dead hands.

I haul it back to the RV with a smile on my face. “I haven’t seen you smile like that even when I gave you that chocolate bar.” Dale says with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile.

“I found my pink jackpot Dale. I couldn’t be any happier.” I wheeze out hauling up into the RV.

I walk back out sitting beside Dale listening to T ramble. “Shouldn't they be back by now?”

Dale takes a long look at him. “It's still light. Let's not worry, just yet. How are you feelin'? T-dog? I asked you how you were feeling just now. Please don't blow that question off.”

“It really, really hurts. It's throbbing something awful.” Welp now I feel bad for wanting to kick him earlier.

Dale asked to see him arm but T flips out. “Ah, don't-don't touch it!” Ouch that looks really bad.

Dales face twist in even more worry. “Yeah, that would be-that would be stupid. I-I've been saying since yesterday, we gotta get you some antibiotics. We've been ransacking these cars the whole time. I can't believe that we have not found some ampicillin, or something in the-in the whole place. Ivy go see if you can find anything even Tylenol.”

“Ok, on it”

I found nothing after what felt like forever. I get back the same time as the others. But not all of them are there. Glen tell us about how some girl came and took Lori saying Carl was shot. Kids are dropping like flies in this camp and I’m lowkey starting to worry I’ll be next.

“We can’t just leave!” Carol cries out.

“Carol, the group is split. We're scattered and weak.” Dale tries to reason with her.

“What if she comes back and we're not here? It could happen.” As much as I would like that I don’t have much hope in that happening.

“If Sophia found her way back and we were gone, that would be awful.” Andrea says not helping.

Daryl looks at Carol then speaks. “Okay. We gotta plan for this. I say tomorrow morning is soon enough to pull up stakes. Give us a chance to rig a big sign, leave her some supplies. I'll hold here tonight, stay with the RV.”

“If the RV is stayin', I am too.” It’s like Dale and that RV are attached at the hip…if an RV had a hip.

The group continues to make a plan as I hang back it’s not like they’d listen to anything I had to say so I saw no reason to pay attention.

Thankfully Daryl’s weird ass brother had stds so T got some good meds. So I guess something good came out of today.

A/N

This is my first time actually fully trying writing a fic so mange your expectations lol. I’m trying to get better at writing so tips are appreciated. I really hope y’all like it. Also POOKIE IS NEXT CHAPTER YAYY!!! 😏😏😏

Series master list

[silveredfeathers]

An audio file has been uploaded courtesy of a mischievous Rotom! Take a listen?

//Please read the TW before reading below the cut! Stay safe.//

[Audio ID:

“I am TELLING you, you are not a MONSTER!” Lynda growls in frustration, this seems to have been going on for a bit. She seems to be crying… Who’s recording this…?

“Of course you’d think that Lyn… But with what I’ve done…” Silver sounds quiet, as if he would rather be off hiding in a hole. His voice seems to be closer to the microphone however, so it’s still being caught.

“What do you mean by that? Your dad knows you aren’t a monster, your mom knows, your brother knows, our kid, her friends, EVERYONE who knows you knows you aren’t a monster!” Her voice sounds very shaky. “What you’ve done is escape a horrible situation with horrible people. Yes you hurt people, but they hurt YOU, and would have done it again if given the chance! They’re better off dead!”

“Everyone who likes me is obviously not going to call me a monster because they don’t want to upset me… Hell they may be too scared to because they think I’ll hurt them like I did back at the lab… I had no control of myself back there… I killed a ton of people at once. Not because they were bad… I killed them because they were in the way…” Fear taints his voice as he goes on. “What if something makes me lose control again… I’ll end up just hurting those close to me…” 

“Silver, I can easily pin you down and scruff you with my dragon form, for one. And for two, I know for a fact if your brother was scared of you he wouldn’t want to be around you or tolerate you. Three, you have gotten so much better with controlling it, you haven’t been forced into that form for years, and now you’re worried that you’ll rampage? Also, none of them have felt fear towards you.” She sounds like she’s trying desperately to calm back down.

“Yet there might be a breaking point… Someone pushes me off the metaphorical cliff… One wrong word… And they have been scared. I’ve seen it. The looks on their faces when they saw what those fuckers did to me-” 

The sound of a door opening is heard, probably hitting a wall pretty hard if the loud bang is to say anything.

“Why do you keep arguing about- wait シルバー, why is your phone on?”

A soft “Bzzt!” is heard, before the video cuts out.

End of id]

//Translation for what Gio said: Silver

[dotspoetrycorner]

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies Cynthia x OC Part 9

Chapter 9: Girl Gang

Word count:7.1k

After spending time at Jane’s drafting up a game plan for her student council campaign, I went home and straight to sleep, trying to avoid my parents questions as to why I got home later than expected. 

The next morning I woke up to my mom screaming from the bottom of the stairs, “Ella! Phone!” Phone? For me? At, I looked at the clock next to my bed..  5 am? On a Monday morning? I picked up the phone from my bedside table. “Hello?” I asked. It was Cynthia, “hey, mcgee’s been calling all of us this morning-“ “Hold on Cynthia wait” I heard a soft clicking sound meaning my mom was still on the line downstairs, “mom! Get off the phone!” The clicks stopped and I let Cynthia continue, “She’s trying rat us out for yesterday, just giving you a heads up, just try to intercept any calls.” I responded “of course, thanks, hey do you think you could just stay on the line with me?” “Sure” And so we talked for an hour, about anything we could think of. Occasionally we would run out of things so say and we would just sit in silence, comfortable silence, just to keep the line busy. Eventually my mom came in my room to tell me to get off the phone and get ready for school. I really wanted to fight it but I didn’t. Instead I just said, “Hey, Cynthia, I gotta go, I’ll talk to you at school” and hung up.

“You know it’s strange, I haven’t heard you talk to or about Cynthia in years and now, you’re spending hours on t he phone with her and I haven’t seen Dot in a week. Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?” My mom asked. But before I could answer, the phone rang. I reached for it but my mom got to it faster. I after a moment she looked at me and yelled “She did what?!” 

“You ran out of school and aided in stealing a car?! Where did I go wrong?” My mom lectured as a sat on the living room couch with my parents standing over me. Then my dad chimed in, “Believe me, there will be consequences… you’ll… you won’t… I don’t know, you’ve never done anything wrong before.” “Ella,” my mom continued, “ you’ve always been such a good girl, good grades, good friends-“ “Was it Cynthia? You know I always thought there was something off with her-“ I cut my father off, “there is nothing wrong with Cynthia! Everything that happened I made the decision too be a part of” “I just don’t know what happened Ella…” My dad stared at me with a look that made me so ashamed of what I had done, then I remembered how I felt with the girls yesterday, like nothing could touch me. I haven’t felt like people actually cared about me in the longest time. I felt a surge of confidence and said, “are you gonna punish me or not because I need to get to school.” Both my parents just looked at me with a shocked expression, I had never said anything even remotely disrespectful before. “Well, we weren’t going to, but if you’re going to talk back, you’re grounded for two weeks, only to school and back. And we’re taking the phone out of your room.” After my dad finished I simply stood up, grabbed my bag and walked out the door, off to school.

On my way to school I saw a man sitting on a bench finishing reading a newspaper. A newspaper that had the girls on the front page. He closed the paper and started walking down the street. I had no money on me to get my own copy but I needed that paper. I don’t know what came over me, I would normally never approach a stranger, but I caught up to him and said, “Excuse me sir, are you done with that newspaper? Could I have it by any chance?” He looked at me questioningly, “I’m an aspiring journalist and I just love to-“ he cut me off by handing me the paper, rolling his eyes, and walking away. I happily turned around and continued my path to school.

Once there I found all of the girls talking outside. “Look at who made the front page of today’s paper.” I said, everyone already crowding around me to try and look. "Vicious vixens perform vulgar acts before violently vacating the premises.” Jane read.

“Who wrote this? Mother Goose?” Cynthia joked. "Even more shocking were the ideas Ms. Facciano espoused in her manifesto-like speech.” Olivia continued. "To paraphrase Richard Nixon, speaking of his 1950 Senate opponent Helen Gahagan Douglas, she's pink right down to her underwear.They're calling us communists. This will sink my entire campaign.” Jane finished. “Maybe not. I mean, you made some really good points during your speech. They wouldn’t be trying to ruin you if they didn’t think you might win.” I chimed in. “It’s great press and it’s going to work perfectly with our new jackets” Nancy said pulling her new design from her bag. It was a black jacket with the words “black widows” and a spider on the back. The design and craftsmanship were stunning but the concept was, well, not it. “So, what do you think?” She asked. “Its.. violent..” Jane replied, trying to turn Nancy down gently. “Thanks! We’re the black widows. Nobody messes with us because if they do, we eat them for breakfast.” Oh. And the jacket comes with retractable fake blood coming out of the spider’s mouth. Fun. “I like it!” Cynthia said with the biggest grin on her face. Not helping. “Probably not the best way to convince people we aren’t vicious vixens.” Jane said. “Sure thing boss,” Nancy started, “Black Widows dead on arrival. New name pending.”

We all started to walk into the school when Cynthia stopped, “Hey thespians! Jealous we put on the most interesting show Rydell’s ever seen?” Then she stole one of their hats and threw it to a group of boys who kept throwing it around. “I’m so sorry about her” I yelled to them as she dragged me away. Once inside the school, we were immediately met with an angry Gil Rizzo, “All right. Which one of yo use is gonna pay for a new paint job for my car?” 

Cynthia chimed in with “I could buy the hunk of junk for cheaper. Think of it this way, Gil: at least you finally got some girls in it!” She was met with a giggle from all the girls.

Gil muttered a “whatever.” “See the paper, boys?” Cynthia continued, "When's the last time any of you chowderheads made the front page?” “Congratulations.” Shy guy said, smiling at us. He’s sweet. Potato just had to throw in his tow cents, "Whoa, watch out, fellas. It's a girl gang. They might beat us up with their pocketbooks!” Cynthia started hitting him with the paper and chased him down the hallway, all of us following in a fit of laughter.

“Ladies. My office. Now” Miss Mcgee. Shoot. We all started filing into her office until she stopped me, “Not you miss Bartlett. You didn’t do anything.” But, I did. 

[jimblejamblewritings]

IM SO HAPPY YOU’RE DOING THE TWLIGHT REWRITE I LITERALLY JUST REREAD BOTH OF THE TWLIGHTS FICS 😭😭

☺️ Yay, I’m glad you like the other two enough to reread.

Honestly a rewrite has always weighed on my mind. This might be the last really long Twilight series unless I get a request that just ends up being a journey. But I wanted to fix so much of what I (and probably everyone else) thinks is wrong with Twilight. So canon is out the window lol. Also I’m changing Bella to Y/N cause people voted but this is still a rewrite so no Bella cause you are them.

Spoiler Alert but here are my ideas (I’m saying Bella for now instead of y/n):

- Edward isn’t so much of a dick in the Twilight book

- Not every boy is in love with Bella, they are actually just friends

- Jacob is actually a real friend and not a plot device. And Bells already knows some of the other Quileute boys she’s just not close with them yet.

- Bella doesn’t just go dress shopping with Jess and Ange to go to the bookstore, she actually wants to support them getting good dresses

- Bella is actually terrified when she realizes Edward is a vampire and gets more freaked out when he says he likes her. At first she’s only dating him because she wants to stay alive but then she starts to fall in love with him

- Rosalie is cool with Bella because Bella doesn’t want to become a vampire. Edward and the others expect her too so Rosalie is a big Bella defender because she wants to keep her human

- No weird interaction between Jacob and Edward at the prom. Jake helps Bella cause that’s his friend, Edward swoops in to finish cause he’s the boyfriend but they aren’t already heated with each other when Jake is still human

Onto New Moon

- It’s not a paper cut that sends Jasper into a frenzy but some bigger blood

- She gets lost in the woods until Sam finds her but she’s not just on the forest floor laying there

- No hallucination Edward!

- Jake visits her during her Great Depression Era and he actually brings her Forks friends and some of the future wolf pack

- when Bella is working on getting out of her depression, they’re all supportive. She gets the motorcycles as a thank you gift for Jake and also because she wants to learn as a distraction

- Jake’s mom dies and that’s what turns him. Laurent and Victoria in the area turns Embry and Seth. While Leah turns from Harry’s death

- wolves don’t cut their hair. It’s not as big a deal in Quileute history from what I researched but the still have long hair and sometimes view it spiritually. I would imagine being literal spirit warriors that are wolves would be one of those occasions so no hair cuts unless in mourning and when the cut their hair the wolf looks sickly cause fur is gone.

- when Bella finally confronts Jake there will be angst/comfort

- she puts two and two together and goes to Emily’s house to bring up the werewolf instead of the altercation with Paul cause why are we slapping people that haven’t actually done or said anything to you?

- imprinting doesn’t happen right away for wolves but usually when their imprint is in danger

- Actually showing that imprinting isn’t just romantic because wtf Stephenie Meyer? Sure the Sam Leah Emily pain fest will still happen but Quil has a girlfriend he very much plans on marrying so Claire being his imprint is very big brother. And one of the others might imprint on a Cullen to also show it isn’t romantic, not sure

- Bella and Jake fall in love. Jake imprints when she says she has to go to Italy. He doesn’t tell her and lets her go

- Volturi thing happens

- Bella is in shambles because she has to become a vampire but doesn’t want to and loves Jacob

- Edward proposes

Eclipse time!

- Bella has been avoiding Jake and he gives his imprint space until he finally has to show up to Forks high school cause of the Victoria Emmett and the wolves scene that happens

- Bella finally tells Jake what’s going on

- this is where Bella is kind of morally grey cause she does have a relationship with Jacob that’s behind everyone’s back at first

- Rosalie is still a Bella defender and basically knocks the sense into Edward and the rest of the family

- The newborn army means the Volturi do show up and because Bella is still human they install a deadline to when they will return which means she has to become a vampire

- They get to keep Bree instead of the baby dying!

- Bella’s Great Depression #2

- It’s understood that she and Edward have to put on a whole act that they are together so when Aro sees his thoughts/memories or other people’s thoughts/memories he only sees a happy couple. Bella gets to actually be with Jake since her thoughts are safe.

- Vampires can definitely have kids it’s just really rare because the body can be so incompatible. I’m thinking that maybe it’s hard for a woman’s body to accommodate the fetus since they are literal diamonds and don’t really grow or move so there is no room. And for men, the venom that mixes with their other fluids changes the properties of them. So sperm is basically destroyed by venom and isn’t potent at all (idk I think this makes more sense than it being venom because shouldn’t Bella have turned if it was pure venom?)

-Rosalie and Emmett have been trying but to no luck sometimes on Rosalie’s end and sometimes on Emmett’s end

Welcome to Breaking Dawn!

- A fake wedding and a real honeymoon

- The Vampire Baby will definitely kill Bella if taken out early and only might kill Bella if delivered. Done. No pro-life vs pro-choice debate.

- Rosalie kinda turns on Jake cause she’s always wanted a baby and now Bella has one and she needs to stay a part of the family

- of course Jake’s absolutely pissed thoughts alert the pack

- I’m gonna keep the rest a surprise

BUT feel free to leave suggestions or ideas you want to see and who you want to be Endgame!

I’m slowly going to answer the asks sitting in my inbox. Sorry I got so behind on that y’all.

[theorizer-sleepyhead]

I don’t even know why I’m so mad, it was just some asshole making a rude comment to me on discord. Actually, what made me mad was that he was making me out to be some “wah wah evil racist” because I…actually, I don’t understand what I did? I asked if people actually were getting mad at a Genshin Impact character over their skin color? And I was too afraid of defending myself because everyone there are close friends and would end up dogpilling me. But even if they did, so what? It’s a discord server! I’m not obligated to be there! None of those people are my close friends, or friends at all! I could just quit and it would not make a single difference in my life!

It’s actually a good lesson to learn. I need to learn that some people - and groups - are assholes and will get mad at you even if you haven’t done anything wrong, and I am not a bad person or have bad social skills because of it. Oh, and that the best way to enjoy a game is to stay away from its “communities”.

[madisonhunn]

May 26- free Sunday to (mostly) myself

(Family)

There’s something so special about being constantly surrounded by the same 16 people, and surrounded by people in general. I feel like a lot of the work I’ve done in therapy in how to handle relationships has come to these moments. I am using those tools I’ve learned.

Because we came from an Utah school, a group of students went to the “local” (it was very much not close to where we are staying) Mormon church. They said they wanted to join me and my friends Ella and Jack at the flea market so we planned what time we went around them. Shocker to no one, but they didn’t go and didn’t tell us they weren’t going until we were leaving it. I knew they weren’t going when they didn’t text us to drop a pin. It was “too far” to go to, even though they ended up going to an orange grove that was five minutes from the market anyway? I don’t know.

So we ended up trying to go home. We had people cleaning our flat who didn’t allow us back inside so we walked around. We sat on the curb for a while and some of the church girls stumbled on us and they wanted to go to a park. I wanted to go shopping and they knew this. So when I stood up and sent them the pin that Jack had sent me (he went to scope it out to see if it was worth it) they asked why I wasn’t going.

I said, “just not what I wanted to do today” and I literally… got scoffed at. We all ended up walking in the same direction for a couple more minutes and only Ella turned to say goodbye to me. So that was fun and awesome and I went and had more fun without them!

I took the metro by myself which is something I was terrified of doing alone since I was positive I’d take myself the wrong way. I didn’t so that was nice. I just walked around and went into a bunch of different stores and treated myself. I bought my mom one of the shirts she likes from UNIQLO and got some hair accessories I needed since my bangs have been driving me wild. Dark hair + hair covering your forehead + the sun = dying.

I ended up taking too much time to go back before our group dinner. So I stuck around in the area, breezed by the pantheon, and walked to Miscellanea for dinner. Everyone else complained about their food after, but mine was good. Not overcooked and like almost no tomato sauce. Literally my ideal pizza. I had some good conversations with Laura, and David, and Alvaro.

I told David that I watched Fight Club kind of out of spite, and I really liked it. I told him it was kind of c***y (naughty slang word that’d require too much explaining so I’ll censor and apologize) and he laughed because 1. I’m right 2. He knows what the word means in the context I said 3. I’m right!!!!! I also learned he dislikes Baz Luhrmann movies too, so that’s validating. Headache films.

I don’t even want to dive into the LDS drama that occurred during the dinner. It’s just a bunch of the Mormon kids being sensitive about any commentary (can’t say anything about anything to them or else it’s a personal attack on their belief system) on the institutional decisions of a church organization they are a part of. They are blowing it way out of the water and one girl wants to contact the dean. She’s also upset that we have been focusing on Catholic art. Which makes me want to laugh.

1. We are covering hundreds and hundreds of years of religion and art and life here. Catholicism is the prevalent religion in Italy AND the biggest section of Christianity. It is engrained in the fabric of this country, it is a part of nearly everything we have seen.

2. She’s upset that we haven’t visited the LDS temple as part of our class curriculum, but the BYU students she met at church have. Well, USU is not a church school. It’s a state school and church and state are separated. Also, the temple was completed less than ten years ago so obviously our class isn’t going to go there. Maybe if we were in the Eastern/Midwest on a study “abroad” trip about religion in America, it’d make more sense to include it in the curriculum.

I feel sorry that she has been ruining her own experience by not understanding the content and context of what we are seeing and reading about for the classes she’s paying for and signed up for. She’s such a nice girl, and I think if she wasn’t so tunnel-visioned right now, she’d be enjoying herself more.

Anyway, I’m fine! Just really enjoying my headphones and the time I’m able to spend alone. My day walking around was really nice and I got some really cute new clothes. And a couple vampire movies to watch.

In order:

1. The Tiber! Imagine naming a baby Tiberius

2. Jack wearing his “skater” hat

3. Giant cat I need

4. I wanted this but had no cash

5. I found the Italian Diary of a Wimpy Kid!

6. Giolitti🥰🥰🥰 post dinner gossip sesh with a side of chocolate gelato

7. Came home to “clean” sheets. I don’t know. I just peeled them back and this was here. Legend has it that I’m still sleeping on it because the linen cabinet is locked. Legend is factual.

[nella09archive]

Marriage. 7

Chapter 7: Before It Begins

It was finally my 18th birthday next week, I was so scared. Dad was going to throw me a party, like always, but I suggested something else. I asked if we could have a small tournament. Any boy who could beat me I would consider if he could be my husband. Surprising dad agree. Good, because I knew no boy in my village was stronger than me. It would be an easy win for me. But I was surprised that Li was on the list of guys who was taking part.

I was starting to feel some type of panic. Doubts started to show itself. What if he wins? What if dad tells me I had to marry him on the spot? What if… what if I could never see my Goku again? Tears started to slide down my cheeks, as I began to sob heavily into him pillow. I can’t allow that to happen. I just won’t!

During this week, until my birthday, I’m going to train extra hard. I can’t let anyone beat me. I am the strongest female of my village, and it’s going to stay that way.

…

“Goku, are you excited?”

“Why’s that Kami?”

“The tournament is only a few months away now.” At the news my face lit up. It’s finally almost here. I need to get some extra heavy training in before the day. I can’t wait!

“Kami, do you think I can try the ROSAT again before the tournament?”

“I’m sorry Goku, you can’t. Have you forgotten the rules of that room?” At that I frown, how could I forget. So I got back up, and started my katas till lunch.

…

It’s the day before my birthday, and I was walking the halls with a big smile. I was so proud of myself, for I finally mastered a new technique. After dad taught me about life energy, which is also called ki to some, I tried putting it to practice. I practice using it intertwine with my fighting style. I also learned more about channeling my chakras.

Day in and day out I practiced till my energy flowed as I landed every strike. Now as I take a break before my birthday, I walked around the castle. Then I turned the corner, and spotted father. He was speaking to one of the young maids. How dishonorable. And yet I was told I had to be a proper princess. So why can everyone else do they please, without care.

I then left without being seen, and as I continued walking, I could hear people whispering about me. “Did the king really think anyone could beat her? What a waste? She’ll never find a husband.” “What a shame she has such a temper? I’ll feel sorry for any man who marries that.” “Did you hear?” “Hear what?” “She hasn’t slept with anyone yet. What a stuck-up bitch.” “I agree.” “She thinks that she’s so proper, so reserved. But who can forget that showy outfit she worn as a child?” “Oh, don’t remind me. She still acts like a child.” “I know, right? Especially still believing that stupid promise to a boy all those years ago.” “Exactly. He probably doesn’t remember her. Heck. I bet he done it with other women already.”

And after that last comment I ran at full speed to my room. How could they? My father apologized for all his wrong doing. He even went as far as doing what he can to help everyone. On top of that I been nothing but nice to them.

Just as I reached my room, I spotted Li next to my door. He had a grin on his face as walked away. I went into my room and found a box on my bed. When I opened it, it was one of those showy customs. I got so angry. I then threw it out my window. How dare he!

I just couldn’t take it anymore. Tomorrow, at my birthday tournament, I’ll make sure he understands who he’s messing with.

…

Today I feel so on edge, and I don’t understand. I wasn’t training or anything. Today was my relax day, so, I should relax. But it’s strange that I feel this edginess, this eagerness to punch someone merciless. I haven’t felt that since fighting King Piccolo. Maybe it’s just due to the tournament closing in. But really, I don’t understand why I’m just so on edge. Yesterday I was fine, but just not right now. Whatever it is, I hope these feelings ends.

This edginess and uneasiness is really bothering me, not even meditation helps. On top of that, I was getting angrier by the passing minutes. I don’t know how but, it felt something was giving off that energy, and it’s really affecting me.

…

Li was my next opponent, and I was feeling on edge. I had already taken down the first two easily, but strangely I felt on edge with him. “Fight!” With as much speed I could master, I went in for the attack. He didn’t even see if coming, and within seconds he was out of the ring. “Winner, once again, Princess Ox Chichi!” The tournament was then announced it will resume the next day. Well, that is because there were more men trying to win me over. Most of them came from my village, some from another kingdom all together.

The next few days was brutal as I defeated every one of the males, who challenged me for my hand in marriage. Well, there was one person I hoped would show up. Yet he never did. I was very disappointed, and dad kept insisting I take one of the losers to be my husband. I just couldn’t.

…

Why did I feel sad out of nowhere? I was in the middle of doing another set of katas, when an overwhelming sadness fell upon me. This was just too weird.

…

The week before the tournament I decided to set out to find him. Maybe when I do, we can enter the tournament together. And while we’re waiting our turns, we could spend time together. Maybe I get to kiss him. With those thoughts running through my head, I couldn’t help by giggle. Maybe he’ll kiss me. That thought made me blush and having a huge smile.

As I traveled to where dad said his old sparring partner lived, I felt my heart beat racing. What if he’s there? What if he’s waiting for me? Of course, he’s waiting for me! After all, we made a promise. I do everything I can to keep my promises. And how dad speaks about Gohan, I’m sure he taught him to keep his promises, too.

The moment I realized I was closing in on Mt Paozu, my excitement grew. Once I made it to where dad said it’ll be, I was soon disappointed. Goku wasn’t here, after all. I did a look around the clearing, and enjoyed my surroundings. Then a thought occur. When me and Goku gets married we’ll live out here. It’s so far from cities and towns, but it’s just so peaceful. There’s also so much to do around. Like endless hikes, and even train together. And when we have kids!

Oh my! The kids would love it here. So much room to play, and explore. I could just picture it now. A big oh happy family, enjoying the outdoors. And when they get old enough, they can train with me and Goku, and even spar. It’ll be so amazing. I can’t wait!

…

Now that’s weird. Why do I feel excited? And I’m not talking about getting into a fight excited. Or the type of excitement I get when I see food. This excitement feels, happy yet bubbly. Whatever this excitement is, I like it. It’s just weird that it happened so random.