#I don’t even have tiktok but I see the clips and…yikes

[rynhaswritersblock]

tiktok famous (hc) - part four | p.p.

summary: episode four of tiktoks with y/n and peter ayooooo

warnings: cussing. what's new LOL

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- BACK AGAIN

- these are the imagines that i can pretty much just pump out because the plot line is like already layed out for me

- in conclusion i like writing these lol

- okay SO

THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE IDEAS::: spideybparker starbabez mrose12623 elliedevotee lilcassipuff buckybigbutt

THANK U! <3

^^ if you've changed your username i'm so sorry whenever i get requests i write down the username and it's lowkey difficult to track who is who and if they've changed it ahhhhh

- aight

- lets get into it

- yuhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- i'm gonna be saying yuh get into it so much in this imagine i apologize in advance

- like it's kinda bad

- oops

- so y'all know those audios that are like the fake calls

- it's like that man's voice he's like "hey whassup shorty your man around?"

- THAT ONE

- so naturally

- y'all know where this is going

- you and pete are just chilling (this is how all of them start. i feel like a broken record. help)

- you're like FUCK IT LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- you start recording

hey whassup shorty

- peter goes into FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE

- he's just playing video games (fortnite aye) but the  S E C O N D  HE HEARS THAT RANDOM MAN'S VOICE

- fuckin RIPS OFF THE HEADSET

- EYEBROWS FURROWED AS HE LOOKS AT YOU HE'S LIKE

- huh wHAT NOW

- ????!!!!!!!!!!

- you fail at keeping a straight face cause the fucking AUDIO

your man around?

- a wheeze FLIES out of you mouth as peter SHOOTS UP FROM HIS CHAIR

- big "FUCK NO!" energy

- mans practically jumps on top of you

- he's like angry and confused at first but then he sees how hard you're laughing and just gets even more confused

"what was that?"

- his voice is all high cause it does that in tense situations

- puppy face is loud n clear!

- babey

- meanwhile you can't catch your breath for SHIT

- so you show him the video as you continue to literally die

- as soon as he realizes he just melts

- he's like laying on top of you and buries his face in the crook of your neck before bursting out into laughter and holding you tighter

"you can't do that!"

- god me thinking about that happening irl is giving me BUTTERFLIES

- sexc

- okay this one is another fake phone call

- just gonna jump into it it's pretty much the same situation

- in this one you two are over 18 btw

- for ~legal reasons~

- the audio starts playing with the ringtone and peter just glances over

- he's too busy watching b99

- naturally

hey this is dr. alvarez! we received your pregnancy test results

- WHAT

- peter has never jumped so hard in his LIFE

- tv is PAUSED even captain holt has the shocked expression (who am i kidding it's holt his facial expression is as dead as a brick)

- 🅱eter literally yells

"WHAT"

- audio keeps going

is there a time next week you could come in and talk?

"y/n what"

- he runs over to you and you bust out laughing as he looks at your phone and realizes it's a tiktok

- an annoyed smile pulls at his lips and he groans and wraps his arms around you

"you had me there for a second"

- let's just say peter parker had family on his mind a LOT more since then

- wink wink

- k SO

- queso

- haha

- anyways

- y'all know that one sound

pussy so good i could save that shit for later

- welcome to straight tiktok!

- so y'all just chillin on his bed as best friends do

- on ur phones and shit

- and peter parker is a basic bitch so he has the led lights

- which i want SO BAD btw ugh my room would be such a vibe

- update i'm editing this and i just ordered some ayooooo

- anyways they're currently blue so like

- innocent

- chill

- but THEN

- the audio starts playing from peter's phone

pussy so good-

- you gAsp as the lights turn red

- ur like

- holy shit i didn't know parker could do that

- next thing you know peter's hand is on your chin/jaw (just about ur neck OOPS)

- his mouth is practically ON your ear

- you see him holding his arm out in front of you recording and you can't help but laugh

- but DAMN

his jawline is out and everything and he's fucking SMIRKINGGGG as he whispers the lyrics into your ear

- BUTTAFLIESSSSSSSSSSSSS

- big mattia vibes (btw that man is NOT attractive i'm sorry)

- moving on

- i know i've written one of the ones where you kiss your best friend

- but time to turn the tables

- oh how the turn tables

- time for y/n to be a bad bitch cause WE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE!!

- hell yea!

- so it's late right

- like late late

- at least midnight (sleep schedule is MESSED from quarantine though so honestly late rn is like 2 or 3 in the morning yikes)

- and ur hella bored

- on tiktok

- the fuck else do you expect?

- and you start doing the thing where you start thinking about getting up and doing something and you think about it so much that you physically can NOT sit there any longer and must Move or Die

- i KNOW i am not the only one

- so that happens

- and you're like FUCK IT

- so you walk out of your room and into peter's next door

- oh to live at avengers headquarters and live next to peter parker

- you just fucking stroll in

- peter's fat ass just goes "hey thanks for knocking"

- meanwhile you can't even stand to look at him because you're afraid that if you do all of your confidence will VANISH

- so you set up the camera and start recording

- at this point peter's sitting up and just watching you cause he's so confused

- and

- (HERE WE GO)

- it takes everything in you not to RUN OUT

- but you walk over to him

- wrap a hand around his neck

- tilt your head and lean down

- when peter realizes what's going on he's like OH MY GOD

- fight or flight response HITS except its JUST FLIGHT

- HIS BODY CHOSE FLIGHT

- he fucking REELS back

- can't even process that his best friend and crush since EVER just tried to kiss him

- sdfjksdkfjsdfg

- DKJFNHSKDFNSLA

- you're like fuck! so you turn to start  r u n n i n g   a w a y

- but then his hands wrap around your waist

- you FLY backwards and laugh as the two of you flop into the bed

- and he kisses you

- mwah ha ha haaaaaa

- don't ask why the evil laugh just accept it

- i am tired yes it is only 8:43pm i am still tired

- NEXTTTTTTT

- so y'all know those povs where it's like you find out your soulmate's first words on your bday

- well

- ha

- you and peter are bored because ~ q u a r a n t i n e ~

- chilling at headquarters

- bored in da house and i'm in da house bored

- and peter's like "imma make a pov!"

- okay!

- so i'm just gonna lay it out for you HERE WE GO

- he has the generic countdown thing (text boxes saying 3...2..1! you know the deal) and then he looks at his wrist and it says "hey spider-boy!" and he gets so flustered - next clip it's him running into "you" (obviously you're not actually in it but he does the text box thingy) - you're asking about what it says and try to get a peek but he pulls away - next clip it's right before your bday - and then you find out your quote and it says "it's spider-MAN! cause i'm a man!" - and peter is just looking anxiously/happily at the camera

- PERIOD

- i hope that was a good visual idk i tried

- and uhhhh yeah that one stays in the drafts bc he doesn't wanna expose himself

- moving right along by the way it's raining rn and i'm listening to my kind of woman by mac demarco and UGH this song makes me so...... jkdfhsdk

- OKAY THIS IS ANOTHER STRAIGHT TIKTOK ONE

- but it's cute so

- fuck it

- y'all know it

i wanna put you in seven positions for seventy minutes babe

- mischievous as ✨hell✨

- oh my god i got another idea okay i'm writing that after this one

- anyways!

- you and peter are chilling

- note: i yell at myself every time i write that because the AMOUNT OF THESE THAT START THIS WAY GOD

- he's watching netflix or something idk

- fyi outer banks is overrated sorry not sorry

- yell at me if u want but

- it's riverdale for vsco girls

- you set up the camera and start recording

- audio starts playing and you climb into his lap and he's like WOAH

- you like put your hands on his cheeks/jaws lol and you start mouthing the lyrics

- but the THING IS (pt 1)

- homeboy catches on pretty quick

- and

- fuck

- he starts MOUTHING THE LYRICS BACK

- you deadass have to take a second and reel back to catch your breathe

- but the THING IS (pt 2)

- HE'S GOTTEN ALL INTO IT

- SO HE PULLS YOU BACK IN

- UR FUCKIN FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING AND YOU BOTH JUST START REALLY AGGRESSIVELY MOUTHING THE LYRICS

- kinda hot doe

- something for u to think about at night

:)

- hey bitch this is a reminder to write about the fairy comments

- thanks past me

- SO

- hmm lemme think

- okay

- so

- okay yes

- so peter-man posts a tiktok of him doing flips n stuff

- like very generic white boy look at me doing things

- and it's very impressive

- but

- you decide to just GO AT IT IN THE COMMENTS

- LIKE TOTALLY ANNIHILATE HIM

- i'm just gonna write some examples

- fuck me for writing this on a computer finding all these emojis on here is very difficult

- oh well

- here we go:

- oh my god a squirrel just climbed up the tree in my front yard and it caught me so off guard my heart skipped a beat

- wait okay irrelevant

- for real this time here we go:

you ate that 💕🧚‍♀️⚡🌟next time make it me instead 💖🧚‍♀️✨ omg peter you came on my fyp 🧚‍♀️💖✨but make it on me next 🧚‍♀️💕✨🦋 a necklace 💕✨🧚‍♀️⚡but make it your hands ✨💖🦋😌

- and so on

- lets just say when peter saw those

- his face got SO RED

- TOOK HIM AT LEAST TEN MINUTES TO COMPOSE HIMSELF

- AND THEN HE RAN INTO YOUR ROOM

"y/n what is this"

"uh fairy comments"

"but they're so-"

- you just stare at him and like

- shrug

- but knowingly

- HAHA OKAY NEXT ONE

- okay i took a break to go sit in the rain and eat hawaiian rolls 10/10 experience def go do that next time it rains

- i think i wrote one like this but with the supalonely dance

- so this time

- we doing the savage dance

- first of all that song is a BANGER

- second, the dance is SO FUN

- so it's the same thing as last time

- you set up the camera but have it face peter instead of u sneaky sneaky

- and then u start doing the dance of course

- and obv peter is like yuhhhhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- clapping along and smiling and whooping

- supportive bby

- but THEN

- YOU THROW IT BACK

- HOMEBOY DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING

- HALF OF HIM IS LIKE OH FUCK I SHOULD'VE STOPPED HER

- OTHER HALF IS SAYING holy shit !

- once you finish you look at peter and he's just like 👁👄👁

- lol

- anyways

- you watch that video MULTIPLE TIMES afterwards

- okay in this one you and pete are 18+ because

- we like being legal 😌✋

- but it's one of those where you walk out in front of your boyfriend naked

- so peter just got home from patrol and climbs in through the window of y'alls shared apartment

- oh to live in an nyc apartment with peter parker UGH

"y/n? i'm home babe"

- the camera is shaking because you're laughing so hard and kinda nervy

- but you walk out of y'alls room and peter just turns to you

- nearly drops his fucking mask

- he's shocked for a second before he gets such a big smile on his face and throws you over his shoulder

- hehe

- okay last one i love this one sm this tiktok came up on my fyp and i immediately though THIS IS Y/N AND PETER

here it be::

https://www.tiktok.com/@wizqueifa_/video/6826567570116611333

god i hope that works and y'all can watch it lmk if u can't like if the link doesn't work or anything

- okay basically it's that tiktok but u and peter

- like that video EXACTLY everything about it is perfect

- that's it lol

- and i recommend watching her other tiktoks with her boyfriend bc their relationship is adorable and it's totally y/n and peter

- okay i think (hope to god) i've written all the ones that y'all requested

- i think i might only do just one more part of these???? idk i feel like if i just keep going on with them (cause obv trends keep coming) half this book would just be the tiktoks lol

- ANYWAYS

- peace out homies i love each and every one of you

- be kind to urself and try to be productive

- i'm gonna go try and write some more so

- yes

- MWAH <3

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hi i hope you guys are doing well

ily

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020: 10/01

So: REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020. We’ve got the second episode here, and we’ve already stagnated. Hey, I’m not complaining. It’s really boring and we’ve got nothing to talk about with the exception of the top five new arrival, but let’s agree that we’d really not want to talk about that one either. Here’s the top 10.

Top 10

Stormzy’s “Own It” featuring Burna Boy and Ed Sheeran is still at the top for its second week at #1. I can’t really see a threat to this as of yet, but we’ll see.

“Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi hasn’t moved at number-two, the runner-up spot. To be honest, I don’t see this hitting the #1 but the charts are pretty unpredictable right now, so I can’t decide as of yet.

Dua Lipa’s “Don’t Start Now” sticks at number-three. I doubt it’ll get there, but let’s hope this hits #1.

“ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas is at number-four, the same from last week.

Now for our first and pretty much only headline here, “Yummy” by Justin Bieber, his new song that despite a massive promotional push, only debuted at number-five. You’d figure that Bieber would learn a lesson from Taylor Swift’s “ME!”, which is that pop veterans can’t just release Godawful singles and rely on name recognition anymore in the streaming era, at least enough for a #1. It’s his 45th Top 40 hit if I recall correctly (which is crazy), and about his 17th top 10, and somehow not his worst.

“Dance Monkey” by Tones and I is down one spot to number-six.

Surprisingly up a spot due to... well, seemingly no reason at all, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi has rebounded up eight spaces to number-seven. It’s been nearly a full freaking year since this song first charted and it won’t go away.

Sadly, due to “Yummy” and “Someone You Loved” rising, Billie Eilish’s “everything i wanted” is down two spots to number-eight but it could very much propel back up next week.

“Adore You” by Harry Styles is also a victim of the two songs, down two to number-nine.

Finally, we have a one-spot boost for “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd, which has reached #10, marking his ninth top 10 hit in the UK.

Climbers

There are actually a couple here, seemingly from “end-of-year UK hits” YouTube playlists? I don’t know; this happens often after the Christmas songs fade away because there are all of these playlists and different end-of-year commemorations. It would explain “Ride It” by Regard and “Bruises” by Lewis Capaldi both up 12 spaces to #11 and #12 respectively, as well as “Memories” by Maroon 5 up eight spots to #13, “Lose Control” by MEDUZA, Goodboys and Becky Hill up 16 spots to #31, “South of the Border” by Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B up 15 positions to #17, and finally “Circles” by Post Malone up seven spaces to #19. It doesn’t exactly explain “The Box” by Roddy Ricch up 24 spots to #16 though.

Fallers

There are quite a few honestly pretty surprising and unexpected fallers here, once again because of end-of-year commemorations allowing songs from the past year to have some sort of artificial boost. This leaves actual upcoming hit songs pretty much in the dust, such as “Pump it Up” by Endor down eight spots to #14, “This is Real” by Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson collapsing nine spaces to #18, “Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez tripping down 10 spaces to #20 just to rebound next week because of the album, “My Oh My” by Camila Cabello featuring DaBaby, as well as “Falling” by Trevor Daniel, seemingly losing all of their momentums since they’re down eight and nine spaces respectively to #21 and #23. The same seems to apply for Stormzy and Harry Styles as they’ve had pretty bad weeks: “Audacity” featuring Headie One is down 10 to #26, “Vossi Bop” is down 12 to #24, while “Watermelon Sugar” is down 12 to #29, and “Lights Up” is down 14 to #32. “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One is down 11 to #31, as is “Gangsta” by Darkoo and One Acen at #33. “Heartless” by the Weeknd is also struggling down 13 spaces to #38, which is unfortunate as the song has only grown on me since its debut. Oh, and “In the Unknown” by Idina Menzel and AURORA from the Frozen II soundtrack is down 18 spaces to #37. Yikes.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

The climbers and fallers aren’t the only result of the end-of-year commemorations though, as we do have returning songs straight from the end-of-year list (Which I have ranked and will post on my Twitter as soon as possible). Those are “HIGHEST IN THE ROOM” by Travis Scott and remixed by ROSALIA and Lil Baby back at #25, “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber at #27, “Beautiful People” by Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid at #28, “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello at #30, “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey at #36, “Turn Me On” by Riton, Vula and Oliver Heldens at #39 and “Outnumbered” by Dermot Kennedy back at #40. That does mean a hefty list of drop-outs however, including “Lucid Dreams” by Juice WRLD out from #27, “River” by Ellie Goulding thankfully out from #28, “No Cellular Site” by D-Block Europe also thankfully out from #29... in fact, I’m not complaining about any of this really. I can’t be upset about “Better Half of Me” by Tom Walker out from #30, “hot girl bummer” by blackbear out from #35, or even “No Idea” by Don Toliver out from #39. “Netflix & Chill” by Fredo is out from #34, and unfortunately, J Hus had both of his singles from the forthcoming album drop out this week: “No Denying” is out off of the debut from #33, and “Must Be” is out from #37... and that’s all other than the new arrivals, so I’d like to note that despite momentum being slashed in half by all these returns, there are some songs within the UK Top 75 that are promising; not all of them are good, but you can expect these songs from the tail-end of the top 75 debuting in the coming weeks after a good rise, probably even next week: “Up All Night” by Khalid, “Say So” by Doja Cat, “BOP” by DaBaby, “Ballin’” by Mustard featuring Roddy Ricch, “Suicidal” by YNW Melly and “July” by Noah Cyrus. I figured I should start doing this. Now for the new arrivals:

NEW ARRIVALS

#35 – “Savage” – MIST

Produced by Swifta Beater and Zeph Ellis

MIST is back... I guess. I’ve never found MIST very interesting, well, musically – I saw the dude on a really awful ITV2 comedy panel show thing, and he was pretty charismatic, so I have no idea why that’s not present in his music whatsoever. This is his fourth UK Top 40 hit however, and “So High” with Fredo has grown on me a bit since its release, so I figured this could be somewhat interesting... and you know what, MIST might have won me over with this one. The chipmunk vocal samples are catchy and the beat coming in so abruptly after the first line is just perfect. MIST’s content isn’t exactly all that unique, but some of the description of him shooting this man is pretty specific and intimidating. The beat is heavy with plummeting 808s and a sporadic trap drum pattern, and the part in the first verse where after he mentions his gun, a sound effect (Of said gun) plays, and the next line is a pitch-shifted “Cabbage (Bang)”. It’s just really funny, and adds some needed humour to the otherwise pretty menacing song. In fact, all of the three verses in this very short song (2 minutes and 26 seconds) have a really intense delivery from MIST, who really surprised me with his angry cadences and overall emotive performance here. The production is great but the mixing is at times slightly dodgy, so the bass does start clipping, but that’s mostly during the chorus, which is a repetitive vocal sample that does sound good, but at first is somewhat jarring and the sample is way too quiet to work as an anthem. The first two verses follow a strict rhyme scheme that is limiting but MIST makes the most of it, calling himself a “Birmingham assassin”, which again is a comedic turn of phrase to depict something that’s genuinely very dangerous. The third verse does feel out of place but I’d like to say that the rejection of the rhyme scheme and a calmer flow represents him abandoning the “Gangsta all the time” mantra and ideology that runs through the track. It still could sound better if there was some kind of beat switch, and in some way it does make the song seem underdeveloped, especially since the song fades out, which is just a really odd decision that doesn’t fit the song’s mood at all. Still, it’s a good song, a surprising one at that, and definitely my favourite from MIST.

#5 – “Yummy” – Justin Bieber

Produced by Poo Bear, Kid Culture and Sasha Sitora

On January 3rd, Justin Bieber, one of the biggest pop stars of the millennium, a viral star who has been a polarising figure in music for 11 years straight due to legal issues and a tsunami of online hatred. He released the single alongside a music video and a trailer to promote his new documentary, that also was a trailer for the song and his tour. Bieber joined TikTok and encouraged his fans to make TikTok videos of the song, him doing so as well, raking up millions of views not only on the app but on YouTube compilations. Four days later, he released autographed cassettes, autographed picture discs, SIX unique autographed CDs and FIVE unique autographed vinyl records. They were only available for 24 hours. There were also FIVE additional music videos released other than the official music video upon release and the audio. If that wasn’t enough, Billie Eilish suddenly started promoting the song, and soon afterwards, Bieber posted on Instagram a fan-made image asking for his fans to manipulate streaming numbers and get a VPN if they are not in the US, proving that this isn’t just a promotional push, it’s the #1 that Bieber and Scooter Braun want; whether it’s because Braun wanted the #1 to undermine Taylor Swift or because it’s bragging rights and label politics, we don’t know. This meant it was ever so funny when “Yummy” by Justin Bieber debuted at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100, below a non-single without a music video, “The Box” by Roddy Ricch, celebrating its first week at #1 with a triumphant “err, ooh”. In fact, it’s never hit #1 in any country at all (As of yet). That’s just a beautiful moment when the entirety of the world unites to refuse streaming this garbage fuel of manufactured, plastic trash with headline-chasing references to Megan Thee Stallion and a falsetto from Bieber that’s as weak as ever. This is as out as touch as pop music could have possibly ever been in 2020. It’s a new decade but it seems like we’re regressing.

Conclusion

Yeah, it should be obvious that Worst of the Week is going to “Yummy” by Justin Bieber, but surprisingly, and also by default, MIST’s “Savage” takes Best of the Week. Good stuff; I hope it’s not a fluke. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank, I’ll see you next week.

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020