#I don’t actually mind them being shipped with Wilson but eh

[bilberson]

WX design cause I ain’t drawn them in a while. Also like, art style stuff.

[misstyless]

as someone who shipped sambucky since civil war, I feel like I have to recommend the best pre-tfatws sambucky fics I've read on ao3

double back by flowermasters

Sam gets stuck in a time loop. In 1943.

Things could be worse, but they could certainly be better.

quick time by flowermasters

He’s never bought Sam a drink in any of the other loops—all ten of them, now. Maybe he should’ve tried that earlier.

Companion to double back.

Thanks by TheHedgehogSong

He opens the door to find Sam standing on the other side. "Me and the others are going to watch some movies in the living area if you're interested." Sam says by way of greeting.

"Steve ask you to keep an eye on me?"

"Yep." Sam replies simply. "So if you could come and sit with us it would make my job a lot easier."

"You're so charming." Bucky deadpans and Sam smiles at him.

"Hey when I'm putting on the charm you'll know." Sam says and jerks his head in the direction of the living area. "Come on, otherwise Clint will start the movie without us and if I miss the start I'm going to be pissed." With that Sam walks away. Bucky watches him for a moment before trailing after him – he guesses there's worst ways to spend the day.

Marriage Counseling for the Inept and Oblivious by ToriCeratops

Or: How Steve Rogers likes to play matchmaker for his infuriating best friends.

my love language is annoying the shit out of you by desastrista

There's a lot of nuances of human romance that Vision doesn't understand, but he thinks he can see what is developing between Sam and Bucky. Even if no one else does.

semi-cataclysmic events by wilsonsnest

It took time travel for Steve to figure his shit out, so Bucky doesn’t think he’s doing too bad.

feat. Old!Steve, Cap!Sam and Pining!Bucky

Flesh And Bones by asgardianthot

in a world where people bond with their soulmates through physical pain, living in the same compound makes the search much easier (or it should, if they weren't so damn stubborn)

When I'm With You (i'm who i want to be) by theappleppielifestyle

Threat, his mind says, but Sam Wilson makes him feel the opposite a threat makes him feel, like he's safer than he has been in seventy years.

Honey, Til I Die You'll Have Me Too by Ithinkwehaveanemergency

Five of Bucky's Friday nights in the months following the battle of Upstate New York.

“You stayed for me?” Sam's voice is a whisper. His eyes are more open and vulnerable than Bucky has ever seen.

“Eh.” Bucky smirks, trying to escape the heaviness of the conversation. “Mostly didn't wanna go back to an era where I wasn't an honorary citizen of Wakanda. God, I love that place .”

three words that became hard to say by suzukiblu

“I wanna step out with Wilson,” Bucky says, audibly traumatized. Steve blinks again, and lowers the shield.

“Uh,” he says. “Come again?”

I just couldn't say it out loud. by ashers_kiss

“Are you flirting with me?”

“Yes?” Bucky tries.

Are you both courting? by daredeviltrash

Gamora and Mantis asks bird boy and metal arm guy if they're dating. hilarity and sad stuff ensues.

farmhouse by Tazmaster

"You know, I think I'd want a farmhouse."

"A what?" Sam turns to look at him, slightly annoyed. This was the first thing Bucky has said in the past hour and a half they've been cramped in this god forsaken car. He had a knack for impulsively voicing his dumb thoughts at the worst times, but whenever you wanted to know what was actually going on in that head of his, he'd never say.

They were staking out the front gate of a large mansion, very much not a farmhouse. It was mind numbingly boring, being stuck in a beetle with absolutely nothing else to do than stare at the gaudy gates of some rich asshole.

"A farmhouse," Bucky repeats nonchalantly, "If we ever get out of this business, or you know, live long enough to retire maybe--- I want a farmhouse. With a lot of animals."

---

Bucky keeps talking about a farmhouse and it drives Sam crazy, that is until he finally asks why.

These Walls are Shakin' with My Heartbeat by Ithinkwehaveanemergency

“Well now I need to know.” Sam rolls his eyes. “Please, enlighten me. Explain why an eighteen year old is so invested in our non-existent sexual relationship.”

“She’s almost twenty. You were at her nineteenth birthday party.” Bucky frowns at Sam, disappointed.

Or

Sam tries to process Shuri's inappropriate suggestion that he should have sex with Bucky, and Bucky won't stop eating his fucking pizza.

6PM/8PM by captainafroelf

Sam gets a call from a world away.

If I'm the Last One Standing, I Would Want to Watch it Burn With You by Ithinkwehaveanemergency

Just before the final fight in Infinity War, Sam and Bucky have a moment.

Or

My canon compliant explanation for why Sam and Bucky are so cozy and content with what happened in Endgame.

Just an illusion by Llixale

Bucky and Sam are back from the Soul stone, unaware that they shared more than the experience of being snapped.

The Simple Life by through_shadows_falling

One year since the Accords, and Steve asks Sam to check up on Bucky in Wakanda. Sam agrees, but the man he finds is the not the man he expected...though that's not exactly a bad thing.

Bucky is a peaceful goat farmer who enjoys the simple life, and who happens to be attractive as hell.

Sam is so freaking screwed.

Takes place between Civil War and Infinity War Part 1.

Alone, With You by cruxcantare

Sam's pretty sure they're dead. Bucky disagrees. But whatever this is, it isn't living.

warm blood (feels good, i can't control it anymore) by notcaycepollard

Sam's just chilling watching TV one evening when Bucky comes in and stares at him silently for a minute or two before sitting down on the couch. He's pretty close to Sam.

Okay, he's really close to Sam. Like, Sam would be using the word 'cuddling' if it wasn't so bizarre.

"What," he says, carefully not looking at Bucky, and Bucky huffs a sigh.

"Steve's not here," he says as if it's obvious. "Don't make it weird. Just- shut up."

Unexpected Houseguest by faeryn

When Sam comes across Bucky in the strangest of places, his first instincts are to run, and to call Steve. He does neither, and in doing so manages to form a strange bond with the Soviet assassin who once tried to kill him. Bucky is broken, a shell of his former self, and Sam wants nothing more than to help return him to himself. But can he maintain a respectable and responsible distance from the man, despite how Bucky draws him in, in order to help him? Or will he falter, and shatter all the progress he has made by giving in to his own desires?

The Multiverse of the Falcon and the Winter Soldier by OhHelloFandoms123

Sam and Bucky find themselves trapped in alternate realities of their lives due to Dr Strange, they have to find out how to get back to their reality.

or

“How come in every fucking universe we’re married?” Sam said, looking around the place, raising his arms in anger and confusion.

“I’m not sure, maybe it’s trying to tell us something.” Bucky replied, shuffling his feet, looking at the ground.

a couple more fics that I remembered later

[meshkol]

9, 15, 31 and 51! 💛

cheers, darling and thanks! <3 this turned into a novel lmfao but i’m wordy so

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

well, i’m in a mixture of naruto and marvel hell at the moment and they have very different environments and individuals inhabiting the spaces. for naruto, it’s that fandom creators and consumers are generally tracking that content ≠ reality, and purity/cancel culture isn’t as widespread while constructive/critical consuming is accepted and celebrated (i mean c’mon now, they send six-year-olds to war for power and money, the naruto ‘verse is wild and totally not applicable towards our reality). for marvel, it’s that it’s so damn big that there is an abundance of content to consume and create both, plus you can always find a little bubble of like-minded people while avoiding all of the inevitable toxicity that inherently comes with a massive fandom.

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

eh, probably kakaita and ironfalcon right now. i just really love sam wilson and i’d climb anthony mackie like a tree so.

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

i’m not really a writer who tracks or anxiously awaits comments -- i don’t even have e-mail notifications for comments/kudos activated on any of my accounts, and most of the time i don’t even realise that someone’s commented on something i’ve written unless i’ve mustered up the social energy to revisit a fic and reply to comments (and that’s rare enough as it is, plus is usually only triggered by the fic being part of a fest). i know it probably makes me a shit person, but about 95% of the comments on my fics haven’t even been read by me. what can i say, i lived in fandom before and during lj’s prime, and i was burnt on reading comments because it was a toxic time period for fandom that usually resulted in death threats or the flagging of a fic. reading comments and responding to them tends to wig me out.

that being said, one of my fics dealt with csa, drug use, eating disorders, and emotional manipulation, and then how both the character and the people he’d surrounded himself with reacted and dealt with that. a reader told me in a dm that the fic helped them come to terms with what happened to them and encouraged them into therapy while letting them communicate with their friends about their boundaries and their past. that’s...a hell of a thing to read from a real human person, y’know? i don’t know if that can be qualified as ‘nice’, per se, but it was one of the most amazing things i’ve ever read.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

i just...really love that archive of our own exists. fandom, especially in larger fandoms, can be toxic and corrosive and hateful, and i’ve been in fandom for a long, long time. i remember how fics would be arbitrarily deleted just because someone didn’t like the pairing or fandom or the kinks in a ‘lemon’ or literally anything (even up to not liking the fucking tense a fic was written in). i remember how we were censored for lgbtqa+ pairings on sites/servers not friendly to queer creators or queer characters/queer interpretations of characters. i remember always being terrified of getting sued by the Actual Author of a universe and having to avoid a fandom/pairing because of it because creators were being sued. ao3 is a fucking gift for fandom even though people can misuse or blatantly abuse tags and i am grateful every day that it exists. i’m also incensed that people want to police it or complain about the fundraising because i intimately know what fandom is like without ao3, but that’s another rant entirely that people much smarter and coherent than me have said in-depth. i just really love ao3, so fucking much. i’d marry that site if i could.

ask me some fanfiction things

[fanfic-scribbles]

On the Run: Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten: “Awkward Spaces” or “Gonna Keep Movin’” (or “Sam Wilson Is Too Good to Have to Deal with This Shit”)

Masterlist Here

Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Avengers; MCU Captain America

Adventure/Romance – James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes/Reader – Female Reader

Warnings: Violence, language, eventual romance, reader character with sassy/abrasive personality

Chapter Summary: Sam is the most well-adjusted person in his immediate group of friends and that is terrifying.

Special Chapter Warnings: Chapter told in present tense with flashbacks to the past in italics

Words: 3655

A/N: This is a chapter set in the present with parts in the past. Tense shifts are also marked with tildes ~Like so~. Sorry if this chapter is weird; this is the first outside POV that has quite a bit of Reader character in it as well so while it is still 2nd person it’s limited on Sam. Fun, interesting, but kind of hard to juggle. Also adding to the mix, I broke format a little bit (sorry Sam) by slipping into the Reader’s POV at the very end because it’s important. Sort of. Mostly? It’s– eh, you’ll see it when you get there. Please enjoy.

PS: To the anon who asked if we’re getting a POV chapter from a certain someone…I have only very vague plans so I don’t want to overpromise (I don’t post things I don’t like and it might be crap, who knows) but as of right now: yes. It is in the works ;)

  Chapter Ten: “Awkward Spaces” or “Gonna Keep Movin’”

  Sam has seen some shit in his life. Dealt with some severely uncomfortable circumstances over the years, even before he joined the Avengers, even before he started leading group therapy at the VA, even before he shipped out. He’s been in life or death situations, more than he can count, and he’s talked people off the edge– both figurative and literal. People have always commended him for having a cool head under pressure and knowing what to do even if he doesn’t know what to say.

All of that, however, and he still feels insultingly unprepared to deal with the level of awkwardness that comes from a centenarian assassin’s best friend and maybe-girlfriend fighting through silent treatment. Honestly, he’s been through high school, he should be able to handle this.

“Hey, uh…” Steve starts to say. You glance at him and he stops. You both stop. You all stop. Steve scratches his head, mumbles “never mind,” and starts leading the way again.

And yet.

“I’m going to scout ahead,” Natasha announces. Sam does not whimper, but Natasha throws a merciless smirk at him and disappears into the bowels of the underground shelter. Sam isn’t sure if you or Steve even notice. Well, Steve probably does, but he shows no sign of caring and neither do you; you both just gravitate to opposite sides of the hallway like repulsed magnets. Sam tries to tell himself that this isn’t any more awkward than that one time Clement and Singh had that little fling that made the whole unit–

Except that it totally is. Clement and Singh were professionals and pissed off so at least the tension got let out in arguments and a truly memorable sparring session. You and Steve though, you dance around each other like you’re trying to figure out how to apologize while waiting for the other person to apologize, both, and goddamn if that isn’t making it even worse.

Sam sighs and it’s the loudest noise in the room since Natasha pranced on out of there. It even grabs Steve’s attention. “Anything interesting?” Sam asks like everything is fine and peachy.

Steve frowns and shakes his head. He relaxes a miniscule amount and opens his mouth but his eyes flick to the side, just over Sam’s shoulder, and he clamps it shut again. Sam looks to see you’ve gravitated closer but your attention is on a box you’re poking with your foot. You look up and see Steve. The two of you immediately turn your backs on each other and go in opposite directions.

Sam isn’t sure what he’s done to deserve this but he’s really, really sorry.

  ~Past~

Sam sits on the couch with a plate of breakfast and eats. Slowly.

On the other end of the couch, James Buchanan Barnes bears the scrutiny of Sam’s sharp gaze. But then, at one point, he squirms. Sam raises both eyebrows but the slight movement might as well have been a trick of the light, for how the ex-assassin stills again. Barnes turns his head and stares ahead at nothing and Sam goes back to his food, keeping his eyes on the other man’s profile.

“I’m sorry I broke your car.”

It’s quiet but Sam hears it. He’s too busy chewing to acknowledge it and he might not even do that even if his mouth wasn’t occupied. Yeah, the car. When Natasha had jumped up front, shoving Steve and Sam away from the bullets aimed at their heads.

“And tore your wings.”

They were good wings; strong, and Barnes had pulled one off like it was paper. Sam sips his juice.

“And kicked you off the helicarrier.”

Where he fell, hurtling through the air and trying to get a hold of himself even as a dark voice whispered in the back of his mind that he deserved this; that this weightless fear was something Riley had to suffer and so should he. But then he had landed and it was so much worse, knowing Steve was up there without backup, and the guilt had piled on when they found him, beat to hell and shot, and Captain America had lain like a man dying. Because he was.

But Steve’s alive, ultimately, because Barnes broke the programming. And as James Barnes sits in Avengers tower, willingly in the middle of the room where he can be approached on all sides, physically holding himself from fidgeting –or running– Sam has to concede he sees nothing of that murderous machine he had braced himself to face. Barnes looks like he’s been eating better, like he showers and cleans up fairly regularly, and his eyes hold a soul to them that would probably hesitate when told simply to kill. He looks human.

Sam settles back against the cushion and sets his plate aside. It’s a start.

  ~Present~

After some soul searching, Sam has decided that he hasn’t done anything for the universe to have it out for him, but apparently the same cannot be said for Natasha. He’s not sure what he did to her specifically, but he’s fairly certain he doesn’t deserve this.

“Go ahead.”

“No, you go. Take the hot water while it’s there; Natasha used up a lot of it.”

“That’s why you should go first.”

“God; I’m trying to be nice. Why are you so fucking stubborn?”

“I’m stubborn?”

Sam’s eyes roll back into his head and he resists the urge to yell that yes, they both are, and knock it off or so help him God– but he doesn’t, because he knows the kind of reaction that will get and he doesn’t want to deal with your verbal insults or Steve’s ‘how could you do this to me Captain America is sad and disappointed now’ pouting.

So instead he gets up, grabs his towel, and stays long enough in the shower for the water to become lukewarm. Satisfied with his passive-aggressive tactic, he dries off and dresses and comes out to Steve speaking in a low tone. He resolves himself to ignore the both of you until he actually hears you laugh.

“You’re such an asshole,” you say, but you sound delighted.

“Yeah, it was pretty funny,” Steve chuckles.

The hotel room looks the same, yet Sam has to wonder if he has somehow stepped into an alternate universe. He really, really likes this universe and thinks a quick prayer of thanks for the mercy.

“So what did he do?”

“You mean after he did the splits, or during?”

“Both, both!”

“Well, Bucky was pretty well steamed, but I got a lot of good mileage out of that. He– oh, I just remembered this time in France when that came up again…”

Sam lets out a little snort. It figures your bonding point would be over Bucky’s misery. Not that the guy doesn’t deserve it. And even though you and Steve are still on opposite ends of the room, Steve isn’t sitting quite so stiff and you’re laid out on the bed, listening to an old war story that Bucky will probably kill Steve for telling.

It’s progress, Sam thinks, and goes to take Steve’s patrol since he’s otherwise occupied.

  ~Past~

It’s been a month or so since Bucky’s sudden arrival and things mostly go back to how they have. Pepper is working hard with Phil to make Bucky’s presence not a complete media and legal nightmare so he hangs around, sometimes like a ghost, and sometimes like Steve’s own shadow. Sam has come around to him, if not warmed completely. As relaxed as Sam strives to be, even he finds it hard to warm quickly to someone who tried to kill him and his friends. He’s trying, but Sam sometimes wakes feeling Natasha’s warm blood soaking into his shirt.

Not tonight though. This one is a hundred percent Riley and Sam hasn’t had a dream this bad in a while. He’s done everything he can think of to come down but it hasn’t worked, so he’s in the gym at two in the morning, circling through machines for anything that will wear him down. Steve left on a diplomatic mission the other day, so Sam isn’t surprised when Bucky comes around and starts going to town on the punching bags. Aside from nods of acknowledgement, they don’t interact, going through their own routines but eventually ending up on treadmills near each other.

Sam isn’t opposed to getting to know the guy, just appropriately wary, and they’ve had a few stilted conversations by now. He can do this. “Are you staying up late or getting an early start?”

Bucky snorts and flashes a quick glance at him. “You coming after the honor of being my keeper? Careful; Rogers’ll get jealous.”

There’s no malice in his tone, just a dry humor, and Sam can really get behind that. “I’m just wondering if Steve’ll be getting a date for his morning runs so he’ll finally let me sleep in peace.” If only Sam had known Steve had been literal about the ‘late start’ on that fateful morning run all those months ago.

Bucky gets a crooked smile that must have been the basis for all those stories Steve has for how Bucky was the most eligible bachelor on the block. “If I gave in he’d take that as a victory and just get more annoying.”

“Ah, well can’t have that.”

“Damn right. Better to stay in bed.”

Sam smiles and turns up the speed. “You doing all right with Steve gone?”

But Bucky snorts and answers like it doesn’t bother him none. “Any more mother henning this week and I’d’ve decked him.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

Bucky blinks in surprise and then turns his head, expression changing to become suspicious. Man but that glare is something else. Unperturbed, (Tony and Clint are still alive, so Sam is almost certain Bucky doesn’t kill based on how annoying someone is), Sam raises his hands. “I know you can handle yourself but man, those baby blues are deadly. How you think he gets me out of bed at six on a Saturday?”

Bucky loosens up and looks ahead again. “Nah, it’s fine,” he says, a little more quietly. “Gotta let him work it out of his system.”

Sam isn’t sure Steve’ll ever stop being amazed and awed that Bucky is here with him. And he’s starting to understand that a little more. If Riley showed up one day Sam isn’t sure he’d ever let him out of his sight again. So really, Steve’s been pretty good about this whole deal.

Standing on the machine at a stop, Sam decides he’s not really that tired yet and goes over to the bench and stacks some weights on the bar. He sits down and prepares to lean back when suddenly Bucky is there, standing almost awkwardly nearby. Sam stares at him and waits, and Bucky eventually says, “You…need a spotter?”

Sam eyes the infamous arm and can’t imagine anyone better for the job. Still, Bucky looks like he wants to flee and Sam thought they were over this, so he tries for something different. “That hunk of junk doesn’t malfunction, does it?”

Bucky scowls and holds his arm, but it’s not his Murder Scowl. Score one for Wilson. “Only for people who call it ‘junk.’”

Sam laughs. “Okay, I take it back then. Will you please use that beautiful piece of machinery to keep my head in one piece?”

Bucky lightens up the tightness in his face and says “I’d like that” and now Sam has to worry because he has two sets of emotionally intense blue eyes to contend with, dammit.

  ~Present~

Another day, another old safehouse Nat has somehow brought up out of nowhere, judging by Steve’s reaction to it. Despite his initial annoyance at Natasha knowing one of Bucky’s secrets, though, the air isn’t so heavy. Even in an old condemned apartment block.

“This place kinda looks like my old building,” you say and sigh. Sam feels a twinge of sympathy, but he can’t be anything other than glad they got there in time. Natasha is too damn good at what she does, and honest to a fault, so Hydra had to have known about you and been on their way even before Steve, Natasha, and Sam were.

“Are you sure you want to compare your home to something that’s been abandoned for years?” Natasha asks.

“Nat!” Steve scolds but you just laugh.

“I don’t know; it looks a little too decent to have been left that long.” You sweep your foot through the dirt on the floor. “Maybe Bucky took a broom to it once or twice.”

Steve chuckles as he and Sam take up their posts while Natasha ducks into a room. “Why? Did he ever do that for you?”

“Pffffft!” You roll your eyes so hard Sam is surprised they don’t go rolling down the hallway. “Mr. I’ll-eat-your-food-but-I’d-rather-lose-my-other-arm-than-wash-one-fucking-plate? Yeah, right.”

Steve laughs like he’s surprised to make the sound. Or maybe he’s shocked you made the joke. Either way, Sam lets out a little snort at the mixture of offense and humor on Steve’s face.

As soon as Natasha pops out to give the signal Steve goes in ahead of you and Sam follows behind. The unit they’re in has vague outlines in the dust and dirt, but it still hasn’t been used in a long time. Sam pays attention to the tone of the conversation you and Steve are having, but he doesn’t listen to the words.

Until Steve sounds concerned. “–ou all right?” Steve asks and you don’t respond.

Sam turns and does a quick look around the rest of the room. He follows your eyes to a hole in the floor Natasha has pried some boards away from. You walk forward and lift out…a blanket. The thing is well-worn, stained in places, and colored in such a way that Sam is fairly certain it used to be much more blue than it currently is. You cradle it, but Sam’s attention is stolen when Steve moves forward to examine what else is there.

“It’s not much,” Natasha says and hands Steve some papers.

Sam goes to stand behind him as he looks through them. Bucky’s enlistment papers, a photo of the Howling Commandos, a sketch of a building that makes Steve’s breath hitch before Natasha holds up dog tags that take it away entirely. “How did he–” Steve clamps down on a laugh and shakes his head. “I shouldn’t be surprised anymore.”

Sam sees you look at Steve’s treasures and then back at the raggedy blanket. You look lost for a moment and then press your lips into a tight line. Before Sam can say anything, though, Steve, well-meaning but sometimes-misguided Steve, says your name. And again. And again.

“What,” you bite out. Sam rolls his eyes to heaven. Lord save him from good-natured good old boys.

“Are you okay?” Steve asks, verging dangerously close to Captain America. Sam groans and even Nat sighs.

“I’m fine!”

Natasha steps in between you and Steve and puts her arm around you. “We’ll be in the car,” she says and leads you away.

  ~Past~

Bucky’s first mission out has gone perfectly. Injuries are minor, none of the team is down, collateral damage is at an all-time low, and he and Sam have made a damn good team.

Bucky has to go and ruin it by dropping two drones almost on Sam’s head.

“Hey! Watch it,” Sam says and kicks one of the little metal bastards. The metal-armed bastard that threw it there drops down next to him, landing light on his feet and smirking up at Sam from a crouch.

“What?” he says ‘innocently’ and stands. “Not like it would have ruined your ugly mug.”

“Oh yeah? Well this ‘ugly mug’ has a hot date tonight,” Sam says and smoothes a hand over his head.

“Did you flash some plumage? Do a mating dance?”

“I’m going to,” Sam says and does a little booty shake. “You want to come? I hear you used to be quite the stud and she’s got cute friends. Steve is hopeless; he’s not invited.”

Bucky loses some of the humor. He doesn’t take on the anger that thinking of his past sometimes entails, so Sam waits patiently while Bucky thinks it over. He looks a little sad and shakes his head. “I, uh, I’m not much of a catch. Any guy or gal with a brain would walk the other way. Should walk the other way.”

There’s a story there; Sam can feel it. “So you weren’t tearing up the town between leaving DC and showing up in New York?”

Bucky shoots him a sharp grin. “Depends on what you mean by ‘tearing up the town’.”

“Aw come on,” Sam says. “Even you can’t punch Nazis all the time.” Bucky raises an eyebrow as if to challenge that, but Sam doesn’t allow the attempted deflection. “What’d you get up to outside of that?”

Sam expects one of three things: for Bucky to ignore the question, for Bucky to tell him off for prying, or for Bucky to make a sarcastic comment that draws them away from the subject. Any one of those would be useful enough for Sam to know how much or how little he should back off. But Bucky frowns heavily and says, “Mostly I was trying to decide what I wanted. I thought I knew.”

Sam studies him. “What about now?”

Bucky gives a helpless half-shrug. “Honestly? There’s a lot I want and not much I deserve.” He looks thoughtful. “I’m still figuring it out.”

  ~Present~

Sam catches up with Steve when they’re switching shifts to patrol. Nat’s on the prowl elsewhere with a promise to return soon, you’re safe in the room Sam just left, and the countryside is quiet. Sam bumps into Steve’s arm, and Steve nudges him back. “Are you okay?” Sam asks, placing the emphasis where Steve often doesn’t.

“Yeah,” Steve says even though he sighs heavily. “Yeah, I’m f–” He sees Sam staring. Sam continues to stare. He stares hard. Steve rolls his eyes and huffs and Sam is struck once more by the fact that this boy has one of the biggest attitudes he has ever encountered. It’s a miracle he survived his own commanding officers long enough to give Hydra a shot at him.

Thankfully, Steve is smarter than most everyone gives him credit for and he drops the act, running his hand through his hair. “I just…don’t get it,” he says. “Bucky’s opened up to me so much, more than I expected– sometimes more than I can handle– and he…” Steve purses his lips. “He means something to her and she means something to him. So why didn’t he ever say anything?”

Sam shrugs and wonders about some of the chats he’s had with Barnes, if there was ever something between the lines that could have clued him in. But that way lies madness, and he hopes Steve knows it too. “Apparently he didn’t say too much on you either, considering she’s just getting to know you now. And sometimes, yeah, people don’t stop talking about the people they care about.” Sam looks at Steve. “And sometimes they keep it to themselves because it’s too much to share.”

Steve sighs, mumbles something about going to check on Natasha, and heads downstairs.

Sam watches him go and lingers at the banister for a moment, listening to the house creak and groan as it adjusts, and thinking about the road so far. Things are starting to slot into place and Sam is feeling positive about the future, actually. This can be good for Bucky– and you– and Steve. Now Sam can only hope Bucky will learn to use his words. On the plus side, you seem like the type of person who will accept nothing less from him, at this point.

Preoccupied and tired, Sam is halfway down the hall when all the lights suddenly go out.

  ~~

You’re out on the balcony, your back to the house, and you stare across the expansive field in front of you, drawing in air like you’re trying to savor the feeling of breathing.

It’s falling apart.

The blanket, that is.

You play with a loose thread, rolling it between your fingers and resisting the urge to tug as hard as you can, just to see what happens. It’s been washed– it smelled like dirt and dust and made you cough and sneeze until Natasha had pulled it out of your hands and shoved it into a washing machine. Now it…well, it’s just a blanket. A nice one that you’ve missed, but you’re a little embarrassed over how emotional it made you earlier. Then again, you were more emotional over where it was put away. What else it had been packed with.

You’re not going to think about it. Trash Panda is still frustratingly out of reach and you can only fantasize about being the Homer to his Bart and choking him out with the threadbare cover that will probably tear itself to shreds under the pressure. So you don’t think of anything at all. You huddle up under the blanket and stare at the night sky. It’s awfully pretty, and somewhat soothing.

Your not-moping is very rudely interrupted by noise. And buzzing. You jump at the vibrations coming from your pocket and pull out– oh, your phone. It’s been so long since you’ve used it you’ve sort of forgotten you can get calls on it. Now you find yourself staring at the number on the screen. You stare a little more. It isn’t an exact match but it’s close enough that you answer the call and snap the phone up to your ear.

“Lucy, you’ve got some splainin’ to do.”

There’s a pause. Then, on the other end of the line, Bucky rumbles with reluctant laughter.

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