#I do wanna geek over the event food though and the fact it looks like a Lakelight Lily bud and those flowers are meant to represent

[petitexmagician]

Fontaine does not shy away from the messiest of BS humanity can pull.

[letarasstuff]

An awkward Meeting

(A/N): This was requested by an anon. I'm happy to finally present you this one, I really had fun writng it, because it's practically a casual slice out of the crime fighting lovelies :) Enjoy it!

Summary: Derek's daughter accompanies her Aunt and Uncle to the convention. That's pretty much it. Except for that one awkward meeting...

Warnings: A little awkwardness, Kevin Lynch, mentions of murdering someone (it's a joke), the reader dresses up as Black Widow (dunno why I say this, but maybe someone doesn't feel comfortable dressing up as a white/female character)

Wordcount: 1k

✨Masterlist✨ _________________________________

Derek Morgan is the king of teasing. No, really. If there was a medal and trophy for teasing, he would definitely have it displayed in his glass cabinet next to his daughter’s achievements.

That’s why (Y/N) has to defend her choice to go with her Aunt Penelope and Uncle Spencer to the bone. “Princess, are you really sure you want to do that? I mean, I won’t be mad to take you back home. We can relax on the couch or look at the new house I want to renovate. What do you say?”

(Y/N) pushes the hair from her wig out of her face. “I say no. Dad, I promised them to go and I worked way too hard and long on this cosplay to just don’t use it. Face the facts, your daughter is a nerd dressed in a Black Widow costume.”

Derek laughs and tries to ruffle her hair from his position without causing a car crash. “You, little missy, spent too much time with your Uncle Spencer when you were younger. I think I have to keep both of you from interacting with each other.”

“Oh shut it, you love us and our nerdy rants. Also you have to take the next exit”, his daughter says while looking at her phone for the directions. “Oh okay. I see. You don’t trust your old man bringing you to your little geek event or what?” He teases her and takes the turn.

“Ok, have fun with your Aunt and Uncle. Penelope will bring you home after you ate dinner together. Be good for them, understood?” “Yes”, (Y/N) murmurs while checking her bag.

Her father smirks. “Yes what?” “Sir, yes, Sir. Better?” He pulls her in for a hug. “Much. I love you.” The teenager opens the door and responds: “Love you, too! See you later!” And off she is, the red curls of her wig bouncing with her very step.

“Ah, there she- Oh my god, this cosplay is amazing, like literally everything. You really have to steal our spotlight, do you?” Penelope gushes over (Y/N)’s outfit. “No, I mean look at you. And Spencer, did you handknit that scarf, because I’ve been looking for one like this for ages and I couldn’t find one. You have to show me the pattern if you did.”

After a while of babbling over each other’s cosplay and how certain parts got done, the trio decides to go into the convention. “Okay, the TV Movie is at Hall H at 9. Can we go to that?” Penelope asks, being a step ahead of them. She is practically glowing with excitement.

“Absolutely!” Spencer tells her, being as delighted as the blonde techie. “Do you guys think we can make it to the Enterprise panel at 11? I really wanna see that”, (Y/N) nearly begs. She didn’t wait for nearly two months to miss it in the end.

Penelope nods. “Probably. Thank you both for coming.” “Of course, I wouldn’t want to miss it for the world”, the genius tells her. Together they go into the convention and nerd out about any little thing.

“Do you guys think my Dad would be mad if I bought that Bucky hoodie and Captain America shield after purchasing two pop figures already?” (Y/N) asks, looking indecisive. “There is only one way to find out", encourages Spencer with a sly smirk.

A little later they leave the complex to get a bit of fresh air after spending hours upon hours in a clamped building. As they fangirl about other people’s cosplays, they meet a familiar face.

“Penelope!” “Kevin” Garcia counters, though she is more solemn. “You came and brought a friend. CSU technician Sharp how are you?” Spencer and (Y/N) look at each other uncomfortably. This is definitely the most awkward situation they ever witnessed.

After telling Kevin how lame the whole convention is, Penelope takes her companions by the arm and drags them away.

“Wow, I’ve never seen Penelope Garcia this stiff. Are you sure you don’t have a stick up your-” “I dare you to end that sentence and I’ll tell your father the real amount of money you just spent in there”, she cuts the teenager off, looking her deadly serious into the eye.

This whole Kevin thing pretty much killed the mood, but they still go on with their day. They even meet Rossi, who seems like he just wants to forget that he saw the three of them in costumes.

Later that evening, (Y/N) sits with her Aunt on her couch nearly passed out from the food coma they induced themselves in. “To be honest, Penny, I think you can do 1000 times better without Kevin. Also, I can 100% kill that guy for you, I watched enough Bones episodes to know how to do the perfect crime.”

The blonde laughs and cuddles her godchild closer to her. “Naw, I can’t let you do that as a responsible wine aunt, but I thank you very much for the offer. Now get up, I have to get you home else your father will send out a search party with dogs and as much as I want to pet them I don’t think he will be happy about it.”

That night Derek enters his daughter’s room, spotting her on her bed nearly asleep. “I had the most awkward meeting today, Dad. It was even worse than your cooking fiasco last Christmas.” “Nothing is worse than that. The only thing able to trump that is Penelope meeting Kevin”, he laughs quietly. But as he sees his daughter nodding, his eyes go wide. “No they didn’t!”

“They did and it was super awkward!” Derek lays himself beside her. “Spill the beans. I have to know everything about that to tease your aunt at work.”

And this is exactly how they fall asleep, cuddled close to each other, gossiping about anyone they don't like.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

[staystrange]

Things I Noticed at the First Sunday Matinee of Be More Chill on Broadway -- 02.17.19

It took me so long to write this post because I had so many thoughts, but I get to post it now in honor of opening night, so I guess it works out : )

NOTE: I have never seen the New Jersey production, so any references I make to that version of the show are based only on the original cast recording. I saw the Off-Broadway production once, back in August, and I wrote a very long and detailed post about that, which you can find here if you are interested. I tried to remember as much as possible from both the Off-Broadway and Broadway productions, but my memory isn’t perfect, so apologies in advance if I misremember anything. Enjoy!

OTHER NOTE: When I saw the show Off-Broadway, I saw Troy Iwata as Jake, and when I saw it on Broadway, I saw Troy Iwata as Michael, so any comparisons between productions for those two characters could either be actual character changes or just changes because I saw two different actors play those characters.

Act 1

Jeremy’s bed isn’t onstage at the top of the show anymore. It gets moved onstage once the music starts.

JEREMY WEARS GLASSES!!!!! The Squip fixes his eyesight later, which is a cool way to bring up the fact that the Squip has control over Jeremy’s optic nerves before the optic nerve blocking part happens. As far as I can remember, Jeremy doesn’t wear the glasses again at the end of the show. But still, I was just so excited to see that he wears glasses now. Yay glasses!! (EDIT: I HAVE SEEN PHOTOS AND HE DOES WEAR THE GLASSES AGAIN AT THE END OF THE SHOW)

Will says “Good morning, time to start the day!” a LOT more sarcastically than before.

The dialogue in More Than Survive is different. The conversation about Madilyn being a slut / Jake being a player / etc. is gone and instead there’s a conversation between Jake and Chloe about how he thinks they should both see other people and she pretends to be mature about it but she’s actually upset. The part where Rich writes “BOYF” on Jeremy’s backpack is still the same, though.

At the end of the first round of “Christine…” Will sings it up the octave and it sounds so good and so perfectly Jeremy and I love it. Whoever made that decision deserves an extra round of applause.

There’s an extra bit of dialogue before Michael’s entrance in More Than Survive. Jenna walks onstage with Chloe and tells her that she saw Jake flirting with Madeline, and Chloe stops and says “I want details!” before shoving food in her face and walking offstage.

When I saw the show Off-Broadway, George got entrance applause, and I’d heard that Troy had gotten entrance applause in previous performances the weekend I saw it, so I was all ready for there to be entrance applause when I saw the show. There wasn’t any. It was just me awkwardly cheering.

When Will says “you’re listening to Bob Marley again, aren’t you?” he raises his voice to be heard over the music that is for sure blasting in Michael’s headphones.

The “I wrote Christine a letter telling her how I feel” dialogue is gone. I don’t remember if it was there Off-Broadway either, but it’s such an iconic line and I miss it. I’m glad it’s preserved on the OCR, though.

Michael gets so excited when he sees that the backpacks say “boyf riends” and he says “my mothers will be thrilled!” and takes a selfie with them. When I saw it on Broadway, either the audience laughed too loud or Troy’s mic didn’t work for a second because the first part of the line was cut off and my friend who had never seen the show before totally missed the fact that Michael has two moms.

When Michael says “there’s never been a better time in history to be a loser!” Jeremy responds by saying “thanks” in a way that is exactly like that video with the girl who gets an avocado for a gift. You know the one.

There are new Michael/Jeremy “Christine…” harmonies!!

The cast doesn’t hold out “Canigula…” as long as on the cast recording.

The end of More Than Survive is as heartbreaking as ever and I cried.

CHRISTINE’S BOOTS ARE RAINBOW NOW!! Also, I want them.

I thought they may have cut the “I’m joking!” “I’M JEREMY!” part but nope, it is still there, and it’s still one of my favorite moments of the show.

I Love Play Rehearsal got about a hundred times dorkier for both Christine and Jeremy and it was perfect. Stephanie Hsu is so perfectly dorky off course but the way Will as Jeremy reacts to everything she says and does during that song is so spot on and it just shows how incredibly talented Will is. Aside from that, I Love Play Rehearsal has barely changed.

After I Love Play Rehearsal, Jeremy says something about how he wishes he loved something as much as Christine loves play rehearsal and I thought it was really sweet.

The first More Than Survive reprise is still there! Untouched! Yay!

The Squip Song scene didn’t stand out to me as having any significant changes, aside from Rich now being noticeably affected by his Squip.

I’m not 100% sure but I think there was an extra section in the actual Squip Song that wasn’t there before.

Jeremy’s Squip Song reprise is still there, too.

The dialogue in Two-Player Game is a little bit different, though I already knew that because I was at the Be More Chill event at the Guggenheim that day when it was FREEZING. Michael mentions that Jeremy’s like the Crystal Pepsi he got from Spencer’s Gifts, and Jeremy asks, “Not safe for human consumption?” and Michael replies, “Better with age.” I’m pretty sure Michael referenced a different drink in previous versions of the show, though I’m not 100% sure about that. Also, the choreography is different.

I have now seen three different combinations of Michael/Jeremy perform Two-Player Game: George Salazar and Will Roland (Off-Broadway and the Guggenheim), George and Joe Iconis (Two-Player Game at 54 Below), and Will and Troy Iwata (Broadway). I just think that’s pretty cool.

When Michael sings “I’m your favowite person” he like leans back on Jeremy instead of hugging him.

When Michael and Jeremy sing “it’s just what we do, we make it a two-player game,” the note on PLAY goes up instead of staying the same. I’m not sure when this change happened because it’s the same as the original version on the Two-Player Game album but every time I’ve seen it live since Off-Broadway, it’s had that change. Whenever it happened, I love it and I’m glad it’s a permanent change.

The “I spent all of my bar mitzvah money on a winter-green tic tac!” line is still there. Jeremy is still Jewish. REPRESENTATION!!

When the Squip first appears, he sings this like intro to Be More Chill Part 1 that has part of the old version of Upgrade in it and I was not expecting it at all whatsoever but I like it!

Will looks so proud of himself when he says “I am a masterbater” and it’s hilarious.

Instead of “Jesus Christ” Jeremy says “This was a mistake” and it’s so funny.

The Squip jumps up on the top of one of the clothes racks and sings from there and it’s great.

The mall characters are still as hilarious as ever.

THIS is a big change: The second More Than Survive reprise was almost completely cut and replaced with a new song called Sync Up, which is about Jeremy’s first day of school with the Squip and how it helps him connect with the other characters. It’s a pretty cool song! The “all in all a not too heinous day” part of the More Than Survive reprise is now part of Sync Up, and everything else is gone.

This isn’t a change, but Will Roland dramatically reciting Shakespeare lines will never get old.

A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into is pretty much the same as Off-Broadway (which was changed from the original), though the bridge part has like a couple extra notes at the end.

The Squip Lurks instrumental might be gone but I don’t remember for sure.

UPGRADE. Upgrade is seriously like 90% a completely different song than the version on the cast recording. It has changed even more since Off-Broadway, but it’s so much better now!! Instead of just being about Jeremy and Christine each “getting an upgrade,” it now reveals so much about the other characters and adds so much depth to them. I wish I remembered every single lyric, but I remember there’s one part where they all sing “I’m tired of being the person that everyone thinks I am” and it’s just WOW. But yeah, seriously, Upgrade got a serious upgrade.

Loser Geek Whatever is pretty much the same, though the orchestration and staging are slightly different. The song starts with Will sitting on the bleachers on the right of the stage (from the audience’s perspective) and he eventually gets up and just sings it on the otherwise empty stage like he did Off-Broadway. I figured they weren’t changing it much since they already released the studio recording of it. I definitely cried during it though, despite this being my third time seeing Will sing it live. It’s just SO GOOD. He really leaves everything out in the open onstage and I could feel it, even up in the balcony.

Act 2

Halloween has a couple changes. The Squip dances during Halloween with the rest of the cast, which is an interesting change from Off-Broadway. Also, there’s a new section in the song with a new melody and lyrics and I wasn’t expecting it but I like it!! Will did a cartwheel during this song Off-Broadway but didn’t on Broadway and I was disappointed (but not for long — see below).

Christine still wears the princess costume and the whole Prince and princess misunderstanding between Christine and Jake is still there, but now Christine doesn’t wear her Juliet costume. Instead, she wears a low-cut princess dress that she would normally never wear, but she’s wearing it because she thinks it’ll impress Jake. YAY CHARACTER DEPTH!!

Do You Wanna Hang has not changed as far as I can remember.

When I saw Michael in the Bathroom Off-Broadway, I remember that the introduction music for the song started while the audience was still laughing at the joke that preceded it, and I have never heard a room of people go silent so quickly. The shocking effect of it really stuck with me. This time, though, the band waited a couple seconds for the audience to laugh before starting the song, which still works, though it doesn’t have quite the same effect. Also, this may have been because I saw Troy Iwata as Michael, but there were some lines that were sung slightly differently than before, and I think the song is a bit slower overall, too, though it may have been that way Off-Broadway.

OH ALSO THERE IS A THEREMIN PART IN MICHAEL IN THE BATHROOM NOW!!

The A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into (Reprise) scene on the couch with Jeremy and Christine is still one of my two favorite scenes in the show. I absolutely love it. It has not changed very much, though I did notice that when Will sang “Christine… will you go out with me?” he sounded a lot more insecure and quiet than he did Off-Broadway. This version works better for the character for sure, though I miss the belting version of it because it sounded SO GOOD. This version sounds good too, though, for sure.

Instead of carrying a bottle of gasoline, Rich carries a jack-o-lantern right before The Smartphone Hour.

There are some new harmonies in The Smartphone Hour!! Also, Troy Iwata and Jason Sweettooth Williams were lowered down onto the stage at one point and it was great.

In the scene right before The Pants Song, Mr. Heere still asks Michael “Do you love Jeremy?” but instead of Michael responding like “wHAT?!” he now responds like “…what?” if that makes sense.

I honestly cannot even tell you if The Pitiful Children has changed any more from Off-Broadway because I don’t remember what any of the new lyrics are. Chances are it’s changed at least a little bit more.

The Play has a few notable differences. First of all, though, I finally got to be part of the huge cheer during “My Squip says I can go all the way to Broadway!!” because I saw the show Off-Broadway before anyone, even the cast, knew it would be going to Broadway. I have been waiting MONTHS for that moment. It was worth it. For Michael Makes an Entrance, Troy ran through a wall and it was so epic. During the fight sequence between Jeremy and Michael, the movements made it look like Jeremy was glitching as he fought with the Squip for control of his own body, and it was so cool. Also, Will did a cartwheel during this scene instead of Halloween. I’m pretty sure Jake’s part in this song is different, though I don’t remember for sure. The Brooke and Chloe part definitely changed a little bit. During Christine’s part, instead of just singing Jeremy’s name once, she sings it three times to mirror the way Jeremy always sings Christine’s name three times.

The final scene is my other favorite scene in the show, and while it’s mostly the same, it has a couple changes. The “oh my God I’m totally bi!!” line is of course still there. Voices in My Head still starts as Jeremy gets choked up about his dad wearing pants (and I still started crying immediately). Michael still sings his line up the octave. HERE’S THE BIG CHANGE: the lyrics of the second verse of Voices in My Head are COMPLETELY different. Totally rewritten. I don’t remember what they are, but I do remember it ends with something about them being Jeremy’s squad. I did NOT expect that AT ALL, but I like it!! I do miss Will being like “what, this?” in response to the line about the acne, but I love the new lyrics too. THE OTHER CHANGE: when Jeremy asks out Christine, instead of saying “lunch? just the two of us?” he says “bowling alley performance art? just the two of us?” This is a reference to the A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into scene where Christine describes this idea she has for bowling alley performance art in response to Jeremy saying that his screaming in the mall after taking the Squip was part of a performance art piece. It’s a perfect moment. Jeremy and Christine still kiss adorable, and Jeremy still squeals in the dorkiest way possible. At the very end of the song, Christine goes up to Jeremy, leans into him, and says “ready?” leading to Jeremy screaming “LET’S GO!!” and going into the end of the show and it’s perfect. Some of the costumes are different, most notably Michael wearing a red jacket instead of his hoodie and Jeremy wearing Hello Kitty shoes for some reason.

Curtain calls are the same.

Overall, the show is fantastic, even better than it was Off-Broadway!! I’m sure they’ve made even more changes in the preview performances since I went, so I can’t wait to go see the show again after opening and see what changes they kept and what else is different. I hope as many people as possible get to see this show live because it is truly special and beautiful.

Happy Opening, Be More Chill. Thank you for everything.

[naruto-oc-critiques]

Thank you for reopening!! So, I wanna make an au where sasusaku doesn't happen. I wanna pair him with my oc, and I'm just wondering what to look out for? This is post manga pre baruto. I think Imma make her a civilian.

Ok well before throwing out suggestions for your OC how about we look at some of post-Manga AND pre-Boruto Sasuke’s personality.

Personality

Reclusive

When he leaves Konoha once again, this time for less power seeking reasons and more of the redeeming my past sins reasons, he tries to minimize his contact with people to the bare minimum. However he is more than willing to help if there are problems the villages’ have difficulties addressing, but if it within said villages expertise he more than likely turned down their request for help. In addition you’ll be more likely to find him helping from the shadows than in the heat of events.

Sense of Humor?

His self searching journeys are important for his development back into a healthy being before the Uchiha Massacre. You’ll find he’s showing a kinder side and shows a sense of humor, but you won’t find him actively admitting it. In his marriage with Sakura he’ll decline showing her affection to tease her. He continues to insult folks as an adult but it’s meant to be humorous and not cold hearted.

Protective

His self-proclaimed duties of protecting Konoha from the shadows stems from Itachi’s wish for Sasuke to live and protect Konoha, however he might take it a little too seriously to the point he didn’t recognize his own daughter Sarada from lack of interaction. In the end though he does take his role as a shinobi and father VERY seriously since he does spends most of Sarada’s childhood investigating potential threats, greater than Kaguya, to the village and his family. Even in his fault as a parent he shows strong parental skills, he believes in his daughter’s abilities and dreams and even tries to prevent her from making the same mistakes he did as a young shinobi. On a side note even though his presence is lacking, when he is around for Sarada he does his best as a loving and doting father to make her happy and to prevent her from being sad.

Loyal

I’m not so much saying he’s loyal, since he switched affiliations so much in his youth but I’m more so saying loyalty is important to him even as a younger shinobi. The reason Sasuke came back to Konoha from his self-searching and new threat be gone journeys was the fact that Sakura had stayed faithful to him in their long distance relationship still had faith in him even after their slow burn, long distance relationship.  

How it could work?

Now here comes your oc, how it all rolls out to be in the end depends on you. One thing that I’m going to say is that reclusive trait of his may be a problem, you are going to need a reason for Sasuke to meet your OC and continue to run into your oc to build a relationship. However I think your civilian OC should not be a citizen from Konoha, especially since Pre-Boruto he’s having one big redemption journey. So here are some possible jobs/roles your OC could play:

OC works at an establishment (food, inn, entertainment, etc) that Sasuke favors when visiting x place (maybe a place that’s good for intel?), even though he visits once in a blue moon she enjoys every one of them and even knows his favorite dish (omusubi with okaka and tomatoes). Twist, she aspires to runs a sweets shop. 

Sasuke has got to stock up supplies somewhere on his journeys, maybe she can be part of a weaponry shop that specializes ninja tools, however lacks the proper training to wield them but geeks out over their make. Maybe have a cheesy plotline where oc gets in trouble because of some “LEGENDARY EPIC BLADE OF AWESOMENESS” that’s she’s rumored to have possession of and blamo got yourself a mini adventure that might give her some opportunity for growth as a character. 

In my opinion your oc whether she’s civilian (which would be cool) or not should be loyal, have a strength in mind or heart but not actual physical strength (Sasuke values power but doesn’t like people being stronger than him), shouldn’t like him for JUST his looks (remember his academy days? He hated his fangirls and had a strong dislike for Sakura for a while because she was so annoying about her approaches), and when the time comes for their relationship she might have to be the instigator I’m pretty sure Sasuke wouldn’t openly confess anything or be affectionate. 

Just because you don’t want the Sasusaku to not happen doesn’t mean you have to completely destroy all interactions between the two (I honestly don’t like Sasusaku). In most OC x married schmucks fanfics people tend to kill off, in this case Sakura, or have some kind of event like an affair that breaks of the relationship or rewrite the whole fact that there had been some kind of relationship. You do not have to do that. Especially the last one, not everyone ends up with their first partner. You shouldn’t have to worry about messing with Sakura too much since your target time period is before Sasuke uber realized that both Sakura and Konoha were his home.  

And remember Naruto was always about believing that you have the power to shape your own destiny. If you want to explore 12 different self growth lessons from Naruto check this out: Believe it!

If you’re having a hard time finding something right for you but love pressing buttons, check out Springhole’s Quick Character & OC Creation Kit to get started. There’s heck a lot of generators and even writing guides.

Hopefully this will help you get started. 

-Mod Kana 

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

NSFW #09: Showcase

Big Mike’s was closing up for the night. Cheerfully, Kerrigan McGuire gave a wave to the last straggling customer who shuffled out the door with his gym bag, turned the lock, and went about cleaning up- sweeping, wiping things down, tossing a couple bins’ worth of towels into bags to take home and wash. One would think he’d hire someone to do this for him, but Kerry liked being a minimalist operation. Finally, after a good amount of cleaning, he was about to go home to his wife, but he paused, and then laughed a hearty chuckle, shaking his head. He’d almost forgotten to do something very important. Striding over to the photograph wall, he smiles at a certain frame that’d been empty for ages. Producing a large manila envelope, he slides a glossy photo from it and into the frame. His daughter and her partner, one arm around each other and the other each holding up a title belt. Bloody, bruised, sweaty… and victorious. Kerry took a few moments to admire the photo, beaming with pride, before shutting off the last few lights and slipping out, locking the door behind him. The camera feed opened up with a close up on one half of the EWC tag-team champions. Mike McGuire looked rather happy- not surprising, considering they’d spent a week in her hometown already with the added bonus on being the newly crowned champions. She had her belt over one shoulder- she’d made a habit of carrying it with her practically everywhere. “Say hey, EWC faithful! It’s ya boys- and ya NEWWWWWWW EWC Tag Team Champions- NSFW! Holy shit. Did you all see Rumble in the Bronx? Did ya? Do it if you haven’t. Watch it on EWC TV. Or YouTube that shit if you’re cheap. It was fuckin’ A from start to finish. Mucho Grande beat the fucking shit out of us, but hey. We made a promise. We’ve said from day one that we were gonna be champions, and here we are.” She patted the belt, a calloused up hand slapping against the central golden plate. “Now, just so you know, we plan on being fighting champs. We got our eyes on the repositioning of the division, seeing who’s gonna rise up and try to take these from us. But in the meantime? We’re gonna keep fucking pounding. We ain’t just gonna sit on our laurels stuffing our faces or something.” Camera panned to the left. Bishop Church was in the middle of popping a neatly cut forkful of pizza into his mouth. The shot sat on him for a few awkward moments as he refused to talk with his mouth full. He finished the bite, and then took a sip from a glass of ice water. “Uh, that’s right.” The shot pulled out a bit to reveal NSFW was actually sitting at a table in front of Juliana’s, one of the best pizza joints in Brooklyn. Two pies sit in front of them- one pepperoni, the other a peculiar affair festooned with garlic, sausage, and broccoli. The place was fairly busy, considering the locals and tourists were taking advantage of the last stretch of summer-ish weather before it started cooling off. Some pedestrians passing by noticed the champs sitting on the porch and gave a cheerful holler, to which Mike would holler back. Bishop forgoed the hollering but did wave in return politely. For his part, Bishop looked the most obviously like he’d been in a major fight- dark bruises ringed under his eyes, and the bridge of his nose was still black and blue. This didn’t seem to put much of a damper on his mood, though. He seemed quite content with his dinner, cutting each oversized slice into small pieces, removing the sausage, and eating it nibble by nibble, much to the consternation of his partner, who in a more traditional manner was folding her slices in half before scarfing them down. “You’re supposed to fold it, y’know. That’s how you do it here. The slices are big so you can fold ‘em, it holds the toppings in all nice, and you can eat ‘em with one hand.” “I don’t like directly touching my food if I can help it.” “Okay, fair enough. Hey, where’s your belt, though? I mean, looks kinda weird for me to be carrying mine around without yours to match it and stuff.” John dabbed a cloth napkin at the corner of his mouth and shook his head. “Didn’t want to get grease all over the leather.” “...you are the most logical fuckin’ person in the whole world, y’know that? But I like that. Makes up for me never thinking anything through.” Mike laughed, and regarded the camera again. “See folks, said it before, said it again. This is why we’re an awesome fucking team, and this is why we’re champions. Our positives make up for each other’s negatives and together, we’re un-fuckin-stoppable. But that don’t mean we ain’t gonna welcome people trying. That’s why we didn’t wanna take a week off for some goofy coronation ceremony or whatever. Those things are corny and stupid as shit.” “Imagine the pomp and circumstance.” John paused, and as much as default expression would allow, some wonder creeped into his tone. “There could be dancing.” “Usually ain’t. I mean, if we WERE doing one there could be I guess. But I dunno about you, but I’d rather have a match. We’re fighters. Not lovers, like our opponents this week.” John’s fork clattered against his plate. “Los Amantes.” “That’s ‘The Lovers’ en espanol, compadre.” “Yes. Modern day Lotharios.” “I got it! I got that fuckin’ reference! Can’t fuckin’ stand guys like that though. They’re usually the type to see women as fuckin’ trophies and not, y’know. People and shit.” “Character flaws aside, what’s there to know? New team. Old friends. Mike, you know what that means?” “I absolutely do.” “Not to be taken lightly.” “Yep. Cuz even if they’re new here, they probably know each other really damn well. Which as we can tell you? Makes for a pretty fuckin’ awesome team.” Mike paused, polishing off her slice before picking up and folding another. John, used to the voracity of her appetite, watched nonplussed and then picked up the thread. “And so we aren’t going to take into account a number of things here. You haven’t teamed before? We all start somewhere. Liam Mason not being able to get any momentum going? Maybe Romeo joining him stateside is just the shot in the arm he needs. You’ve got our undivided attention. Our first appearance as this division’s champions will be a showcase event. A statement to any potential challengers.” “We may be the good guys, but we sure’s fuck ain’t softies. Actually… let me speak on that for a sec. See, we’ve come to the realization that some people around here think ‘good guy’ means you’re soft, fluffy, squishable, and roll over when somebody pokes you. Somewhere along the line, moral quality got equated to being a fuckin’ pushover.” John had finished his meal. As Mike spoke, he set the plate aside and watched her speak intently. He waited until she almost instinctively threw over to him. “That narrative is controlled by those in power. And this company is a microcosm of the world and all that it contains. Including that eternal struggle. History has repeatedly shown that those that crush people underfoot are also the ones who call for civility when their tyranny is resisted. I’ve seen it here. And NSFW will stamp it out. With extreme prejudice.” “See if there’s one thing we both can’t stand? It’s an unfair fuckin’ power balance. We don’t play that shit. We don’t fit in boxes, we tear boxes up. We don’t stand by while other people do or say horrible crap, we shut that shit down. That’s the sort of fuckin’ intensity we bring every time we step in the ring. Now, Los Amantes, you’ve been through thick and thin, but can you step up to that?” The penultimate slice of pepperoni was bitten into like aggressive punctuation. “This ain’t no battle royale, there ain’t no Muppets to goof around with, and this ain’t the bush leagues, kiddos. You are stepping in the ring on EWC’s flagship show with NSFW, the goddamn kings of this fucking division.” “We did what we said we would do and that was take what was ours. But we aren’t like Rob Garcia. We aren't going to hide in the bank while things sort themselves out. You two will put a good fight. We expect no less. But Los Amantes will not make their name off of our backs.” “Nobody will. Least of all you. We worked too damn hard and fought too damn long and payed too damn much in blood for anybody to bring us down, much less this fucking soon. Our match against Mucho Grande was close, but I won’t have nobody saying it was a goddamn fluke. We fought a long road of teams to get to this point- we’ll fight a longer road to show just how much we fuckin’ deserved it. You two just happen to be the first mile marker.” Mike finished off the entire pepperoni pie, and flagged down a passing waiter, ordering a dessert to split before turning her full attention back to her partner. “Don’t take that as a dismissal. As I said, Los Amantes has our full attention. Our critics say that we go out of our way to disparage the others in the division. No, we would never do that. We do however hold you to higher expectations. The days of being a tag team as something to fall back on when there just isn’t anything else going on - are over.” “Tag teaming is a fucking art form. Anybody joining the division hoping to coast by is gonna hit a brick wall really fucking fast, because we won’t allow it.” “And don’t think any of the others will either. The Limit? Vile. But a force of destruction.” “Freaks and Geeks Presents: The Foxy Ladies of Dream Sound Revolution, Live From Mr. Biggs’ Limo? A fuckin’ mouthful and a half to say, but a fuckin’ awesome pairing that just might wind up taking these belts from us one day.” “Mucho Grande! After last Monday, we know for a fact that they are the team they say they are. So Los Amantes? Will you join our esteemed ranks? Or will you be another Bulletproof?” The question was emphatically deadpan which was stretching pretty far for John’s range. Something about them, something he knew, irked his partner and so that dislike was shared in kind. “Oh fucking God, I don’t think anybody here is another goddamn Bulletproof. Are you? I sure’s fuck think better of you than that.” The waiter dropped briefly by the table, bringing the bill, a take-home box for Bishop’s uneaten pizza, and a slice of New York cheesecake with two clean forks. Mike handed one fork to Bishop and her card over to the waiter along with the bill, and the two oblige him a quick selfie before he heads off. “Los Amantes, we want you to step the fuck up. Give us a Nice Sweet Fucking Workout. Don’t disappoint us.”