#I do not think this applies to farscape because how can you watch all that and think its not extremely gay . that would be delusional

[zagreus-eats-your-bread]

40+ year old men irl love me because i watched so many old sci-fi shows and they can talk to me about them but once they do they eventually realize i like them in a really cringe and gay way which is why they also hate me

[dangermousie]

Watched 'Till The Blood Clear' which is an ep I love. It makes me giggle and sigh and everything. I hate Furlow. Stupid, selfish, greedy horror. I will not remember Infinite Possibilities. I will not. I will not. So much to love about this ep: Zhaan's photogasms (She basically spent this whole ep in bliss, good for her!), the design for sand planet, the continuity continuing to be amazing. But, hey, this being me, I want to talk about John and Aeryn. Do you know what I noticed this time? The brief, arrested look on Aeryn’s face when she finds out that John may, in fact, be able to go home. She has slowly come to rely on him, and he is her constant in the Universe that has shifted almost as crazily for her as it has for John. (Rygel, Zhaan and D’Argo are much less lost than those two, aren’t they?) And I love that John is so drawn-in by that wormhole, that he almost acts reckless for a moment and only Aeryn’s repeated and almost panicked comments about the wormhole not being stable, keep him from going in, even though he has no idea where it will come out. No, he isn’t at the chop-Pilot’s-arm-for-a-map stage, but it’s a theme of the show, isn’t it, how the desire for ‘home’ (which comes to mean so much more than the physical space: it comes to mean belonging, the one thing or person most desired) throws everything awry.   But yes. John and Wormholes. Throughout the show, this will grow to be a relationship as crucial as that of John and Aeryn, or John and Scorpius. Love and comfort and sanity for the former and hate and fear and darkness for the latter, but wormholes? Will both save and curse John all over again, but really are also a reflection of John-the-scientist, John-the-obsessive. Here, he is pure excitement and giddiness only. And  yet the seeds of obsession are there. The Ancients picked him - and I can see why they chose him. But to get back to Aeryn. As in so many early eps, Aeryn’s isolation, her inability to go back and her ambivalence towards it (she finally gives that ambivalence conclusively in AHM in her confrontation with Crais) are rather heartbreaking. If Farscape is about breaking John and putting the pieces back together again, one can say that the same applies to Aeryn, in a different way. She doesn’t want John to go, and she’s realized that, and I don’t think this knowledge is welcome to her. She is Peace Keeper, she does not like relying on another: this ep demonstrates it when she goes temporarily blind from solar flares and shakes off John’s help, snapping at him. She is afraid of helplessness because as DNAMS demonstrated, her upbringing left her with the belief that her tuned and well-functioning efficient body is the most valuable thing about her and she is slowly learning about soul and spirit and intellect and heart being even more important traits of her, but a part of her will always maintain the Peace Keeper worship of body-as-self-sufficient-machine. It actually shows how far she’s come and how much she loves Crichton, that her reaction to his slowly going insane in S2, does not involve in any way diminishing of her love. Or her pity. John and Aeryn never pity each other, do they? Not even when they see each other at their worst or weakest? I think that is one of the most crucial things about them as a couple. I think why a lot of the thrust of wounds for Crichton are psychic wounds and for Aeryn physical (though of course they get plenty of vice versa) is because if Aeryn has been taught to prize her obedient body, her strength, her instinct, for Crichton, lost in a strange crazy world, himself, his sense of self, his way of thinking are not just his strength, but all he’s got. So those respective hurts lash out the most at their sense of self. And this is a heck of a digression. OK. Right. Back to the ep. I love that John casually mentions to Aeryn that his offer (of going back to Earth) is still open. But for Aeryn, Earth isn’t home. Peace Keepers are still home. And that is why her reaction to Crais’ beacon is like John’s reaction to that wormhole. You know it’s a bad idea, you know it’s unstable, you know no good can come of it, but you cannot help but be tempted nonetheless. She wants to believe because somewhere she still feels a bit like a Peace Keeper inside. Notice her unconsciously standing ‘at rest’ in front of the beacon. It’s hard to give up the previous idea of home, for both John and Aeryn, hard and takes time. I do love how Crais tells Aeryn that he will restore her blah blah ‘my word as a Peacekeeper,’ and John interjects bitterly: “well, we know what it’s worth.” I love that ref to ‘That Old Black Magic.’ Oh John. I really love the interaction with Volcarians. John’s impersonation of the tough-as-nails alpha male is hilarious. The funny thing is, yet again, John wins through his brain. But while he is a lot tougher than John of Premiere or I, E.T. or what not, this is still a huge put-on act. S4 John wouldn’t even think of this sort of thing. He’d just walk in and own the place, really. But yeah, his telling Aeryn to keep her ‘damn mouth shut’ and her look at him are just...it’s funny because it’s so the opposite of their actual dynamic. I love that we know so utterly that John doesn't believe in any of this one bit, himself, and it's completely an act, that is so amusing precisely because it's so the opposite of who John is, someone who loves Aeryn for her strength. And when he tells the Volcarians that Aeryn is “one of” his mates? Ahahahaha In your dreams, you poor geeky darling. And I love John’s telling the Volcarians that his and Aeryn’s names are “Butch and Sundance.’ Heeeee. I love John’s off-kilter sense of humor. It will stick around even through the worst. And then of course D’Argo gets caught and Volcarians make John torture him and John turns it into that ‘clearing D’s blood so he’d live’ thing but the thing is: he has to hurt him. And I love that he doesn’t want to, he tries to get out of it, but he ends up doing it. And he says some very nasty things to D’Argo and they are mainly play-acting for purposes of Volcarians (and you can tell that John is horrified he has to say that stuff) but also there is a real frustration at D’Argo, all the real resentments and issues in that relationship, that inflect that incident. And I love that he says it’s a waste (the torture). And it’s true. He is stuck doing something senseless to pacify morons. Because they are dangerous morons. The senselessness of the Universe manifests again and it’s just the start. I do love his conversation with D’Argo, full of frustration, and caution, but also a new beginning, of agreeing to be allies (even if not friends because at that point it’s ‘too much to ask.’) I think it does reflect that D now sees John as more of an equal. Oh, and we end with Furlow. Whom I hate. You know, later John would just hit her and take the data and the ship with him. But this one? Not yet. 

[scripttorture]

Torture in Fiction: Farscape, Season 1, Episode 7

Farscape is the most off-the-wall, ludicrious sci fi series I have ever watched and I have very little idea how to explain it to anyone who didn’t have the joy/horror of watching it on release in the early 2000s.

The plot centres on a scientist and astronaut, John Crichton, who accidentally ends up in a distant galaxy. He is taken in by a group of escaped prisoners fleeing the oppressive Peacekeeper regime. They travel through uncharted space on a living ship, attempting to evade pursuit and build a comfortable life for themselves.

One of the big highlights of the series is the set and character designs. Farscape was made in partnership with the Jim Henson company and it shows. There are humanoid mostly-human looking aliens but there is also a real commitment to creating creatures and characters that look decidedly inhuman. Creative design and excellent puppetry really brings the Farscape world to life.

But I’m not here to talk about my desire for more inventive aliens in sci fi, I’m rating the depiction and use of torture, not the story itself. I’m trying to take into account realism (regardless of fantasy or sci fi elements), presence of any apologist arguments, stereotypes and the narrative treatment of victims and torturers.

This episode sees the crew come across a legendary Peacekeeper ship in ruins. The crew elects to explore the Zelbinion, some of them hoping for answers about what destroyed her and some just looking for salvage.

Rygel, a character who is usually arrogant, unflappable and hard to shock, is visibly shaken by the sight of the Zelbinion. He refuses to go aboard and makes excuses over why he can’t.

Eventually he confesses to Zhaan that he was imprisoned and tortured on the Zelbinion. We see flashbacks of this featuring a sadistic Peacekeeper captain and Rygel in a state of helplessness and despair.

As Rygel tries to hide away Zhaan convinces him to go aboard the Zelbinion, if only to provide Rygel with proof that the man who tortured him is dead.

Rygel agrees. He finds the dessicated corpse of the torturer, identifiable by his uniform and items he stole from Rygel. The torturer appears to have shot himself, either during or after the events that destroyed his ship.

Rygel reflects on the time that he lost while imprisoned and concludes that after everything his torturer lost. He spits on the corpse and leaves.

I’m giving it 7/10

The Good

There’s incredible emotion through these scenes and it feels all the more extraordinary because ‘Rygel’ is a 2 ft puppet. The intensity of his lines, his expressions and responses are all a combination of superb voice acting and exceptional puppetry.

Rygel is generally a pretty unsympathetic character in the series. He’s arrogant, self absorbed and often puts his desire for status over the safety of other characters. But here, in the context of him being a survivor, the narrative is very much on his side. He’s understandable and sympathetic. He’s shown as deserving compassion.

Torture is shown to have had a lasting effect on Rygel, even though this happened a considerable number of years ago and the implication is that he’s had a lot of time to recover.

Nothing Rygel goes through is high tech or complicated, even in an advanced sci fi setting. He’s caged, beaten and dragged along a floor. The torture itself is realistic.

Much of Rygel’s behaviour is typical for a survivor. He deflects. He withdraws. He avoids potential triggers. And he responds antagonistically towards Peacekeepers that had nothing to do with his torture, the negative association applying to a wider group.

Rygel’s speech to his torturer’s corpse is short but very well done, it captures a very typical antagonism towards torturers. ‘You robbed me of so many cycles but no matter what you did to me I’ll always remember one thing: You Lose.’

The Bad

This is not a good way to handle traumatic flashbacks. The flashbacks are very literal, showing us things that we have to assume actually happened. Real flashbacks are often more symbolic then literal. They are not the replaying of an accurate memory of an event, but the feelings that came with that event resurfaced. More symbolism and creative juxtaposition could have made these elements more realistic and more narratively satisfying.

The design choice for the torturer himself is… very much not to my taste. He’s shown with a distinctive facial scar and a self-satisfied smile. It seems to be riffing off the physical description of one particular Nazi torturer whose description gets used in fiction again and again. It’s become so ubiquitous that I feel it suggests torturers are visually distinct.

It also positions torturers as sadistic and inherently different to ordinary people. The evidence we have so far doesn’t back this up. Organisations attempt to screen out anyone viewed as sadistic or ‘deviant’. Interviews with torturers themselves as well as their families and colleagues suggest that torturers are mentally healthy before they begin torturing. Their mental illnesses seem to be caused by torture not the other way around.

Miscellaneous

Zhaan’s advice that Rygel ‘must’ confront his torturer and go onto the Zelbinion is not necessarily good advice. This kind of thing can be a massive help to survivors but only if they’re ready for it. Pressuring survivors into confronting their past before they’re ready can be incredibly damaging and traumatic. I don’t feel as if the episode portrays this as a universal good idea but it also doesn’t take the time to hint at the potential dangers. It pays off in Rygel’s case, in a way that feels realistic.

Overall

The episode strikes a really nice balance between showing that torture has serious long term effects and showing torture survivors as whole, independent people. Rygel is afraid, he is mournful, he is angry. But he isn’t controlled, broken or sympathetic towards the people who abused him.

Rygel’s story is only a subplot within the larger narrative of the episode, but his defiance and insistence on living are some of the most powerful moments in the episode. They serve to add depth and humanity to a character who is often unsympathetic.

There are flaws here; most of them come from the fact this subplot isn’t the main focus of the episode. Shortcuts, like very literal flashbacks, function to save time. There are mistakes in the portrayal and characterisation of the torturer but they don’t server to lionise him.

The focus is resolutely on Rygel, on the survivor. And for all that he’s a 2ft puppet I think it’s done very effectively.

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

[ginnyzero]

Dad Advice, Originality, and Writing

About a year or so after I left college, I went to work for my father at his small parts machine shop “part time.” (That never happened.) I worked on the floor running a mill power, a drill and milling machine that could be programed with a computer (to make your life that much easier and faster.) Every job that came out of the office came with a job sheet and the job was broken down into where the job went on the floor. You were to use this sheet to mark down the day you worked on the job, your initials and how long it took. (This was supposedly to price the job.)

If the part was a part that the shop had done one hundred times before, the side of the sheet had an estimated amount of time that was based on the time that other employees before you had taken to do the job. Now, I was new. I’d never done any of this before. And so I remember asking my dad about those times and saying I knew that I couldn’t be that fast!

He told me: “Worry about what you’re doing. Don’t worry about what other people are doing.”

That advice came in really handy as I worked in the shop. I spent two years on the floor mostly running the mill power and focused on what I was doing and doing it to the best of my ability and not worrying about how fast I was or if I became the best mill power machinist ever. (Now, this did irritate some people for different reasons. Other people didn’t care. All I cared about is if my father, my boss, thought I was doing a good enough job. Period. Then I took over the office and I didn’t give a shit about how long it took them to complete jobs as long as the jobs were completed before they were due! Not an easy task given the way things were ordered.)

Now, I apply that advice to other areas of my life adding it to my lifetime perspective in writing and in general. Worry about what you’re doing. Don’t worry about what other people are doing.

Because, I can’t control other people. I can control me and I can control my reactions. That’s it.

Boundaries.

At this time since I had a job and a steady income I was buying a lot of traditionally published books and trying to find new authors to read. And I kept slamming up against kitchen sink urban fantasy with protags that actually weren’t what they said on the tin and had no shit clue what they were doing with all the archetypes and tropes that come from being a kitchen sink urban fantasy. The few that had original concepts, like Weather Wardens or Death’s Daughter, were grossly lacking in the good plot department. (Just my opinion.)

I, um, got fed up. I mean. I’d been fed up with kitchen sink urban fantasies for a while. At the same time, none of the high fantasy stuff was really catching my interest and the science fiction that wasn’t the “lone soldier fighting a war on an alien world” was really hard to find and as far as I know, still is. (And what I found was very plot focused and dry.) But I still liked werewolves. I still like vampires. I still like space operas. I still love high fantasy with elves and magic and bad fairytales.

After binge watching the first few seasons of the Sons of Anarchy and having watched the Expendables 2, I finally got an idea that had been a tiny spark in my brain from my college days about biker werewolves. But I wanted to be different. I wanted some “originality.” I wanted to have that Post-Apocalyptic Mad Max, Dredd mixed with Minority Report type of feel. But I still wanted it to be urban fantasy without it being “kitchen sink” with every vampire, fae, werewolf and other fantasy race in existence. And my love of Vampires and my love of Werewolves had a fight and a piece of advice from a college professor of “No Vampires” and that tiny spark of an idea of biker werewolves really blossomed into an idea.

Reading all that, it’s still not really original. Werewolves. Mad Max. Sons of Anarchy. The Expendables. Where is the originality in that? (Heathens may not expressly be the best example for this to be honest, but bear with me.)

But who would want to read yet another werewolf story? How is yet another book about werewolves even remotely original? I mean, I just typed it, it’s Expendables and Sons of Anarchy drawing from Dredd and Mad Max and Minority Report and there’s bits of Star Wars Wraith Squadron and Ratchet and Clank and Starship Troopers in there too actually and I mean, that sounds like a tangled mess of inspiration. All of this shit has been done before, who’s going to read that?

I didn’t really think about this when I started compiling ideas and really digging into research about werewolves and biker gangs and planning my post War World 3 setting. Because, I wasn’t worried about that. Other people could be worried about that, but I wasn’t worried about that. I knew I was genre mixing in an out of the box way that wasn’t on bookshelves in that combination even if the concepts themselves, the building blocks weren’t original.

Because, I’d already proved that people would want to read something like that through my own actions! I was the one going “I like kitchen sink urban fantasy,” and picking up the first three books of every series I could find that remotely interested me (and supporting those authors) in hopes of finding a new author to read that was entertaining as the authors I already had on my shelves.

It wasn’t the author’s fault that my tastes weren’t precisely lined up with what they were writing. They had a story they wanted to tell and if the blurbs of their story didn’t actually reflect what was in the pages or if the books had things that I didn’t like. I was free to stop buying them. These books are huge series, some have hit the double digits! People like them. They’re getting sales. Just because it’s not to my taste doesn’t mean they aren’t decent books.

I mean, look at licensed books such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Forgotten Realms and so on. These books are huge parts of the expanded universe franchises of those stories. People buy them. (I bought almost all the old EU of Star Wars.) People collect them. People saw the Star Wars movies and wanted more Star Wars and then bought books and comics and other merchandise for that franchise because they liked that thing. Science Fiction fans are likely to watch Star Trek, Star Wars, Battle Star Galactica, Star Gate, FarScape, Lexx, Firefly, KillJoys, Dark Matter, The 100 and anything they can get their hands on that’s space opera related because they like that sort of thing even if it’s the same type of thing in different trappings. Look at how many series Star Trek has and it’s all the same universe! SeaQuest and SeaQuest DSV was space opera IN THE OCEAN.

Maybe I was being out of the box in Joss Whedon does a Western in Space type of way, but it wasn’t wholly unoriginal.

My third perspective on this came from being in fandom. There is nothing quite being in fandom where fanfiction and fanart are encouraged and there are tons of people with tons of ideas and yet somehow there are 50 Coffeeshop AUs, or 100 Highschool AUs or good lord, the MERMAID AUS, “let’s write this missing section of canon” stories and “let’s get so and so together” stories and “this is what happened after this scene” stories. And lots of them, if not all of them, get views and likes and comments and kudos and so on and so forth. And sure, they have the same premise, but they aren’t all exactly the same. They have different styles. Different POVs, different events. They started out with the same building blocks and came up with different plots and ideas! (Now, whether they were any good is a matter of opinion, just like any sort of book writing.)

You see, people crave certain types of stories. Those are the stories they like. They’re comfy. They’re familiar. They’re old friends. They sit down with a certain type of story they know to an extent what is going to happen and no matter what type of story it is, they’ll more than likely enjoy it because it’s familiar and comfortable.

People don’t like the unfamiliar. They don’t like being uncomfortable. When someone sits down to read they’re sick, bored or lonely. They want to have the warmth of an old friend. They don’t care about originality. They just want to escape. They’re risk adverse.

Originality doesn’t appeal to the risk adverse.

Firefly was risky. Western in space. Cowboys Vs. Aliens is risky for the same reason, a science fiction western. Aliens in the old west! People aren’t always prepared to take that next step out of the box of genre conventions despite the masses and masses of amounts of different types of speculative fiction stories. You start adding things they don’t expect (like Western to Sci Fi) no matter how much Dark Tower they’ve read or Vampire Hunter D, they are likely to back up and go “I’m not ready for this!”

Not that originality is easy to find. I’m sure someone out there wrote the first “IN SPACE” story. Our stories are made from building blocks of old stories, myths, legends, fairy tales, stories we’ve read and the stories that go on around us in the world at the moment. (Truth being stranger than fiction.) Originality is a very difficult beast to come by.

The fourth perspective of this came from Fashion Design classes and Project Runway. If you give ten people the same inspiration, those same ten people are going to come up with ten different things because they’re bringing in their voice, their aesthetic and their experiences and style to the design. I don’t care if you have ten different “hard vs soft” designers. They are all going to “hard vs. soft” in a different way! Sadly, in my classes we never really experimented with this overtly! (One girl and I did have a similar inspiration for a design class once, Thailand. We were very different people and did very different things.)

Project Runway sometimes does this by giving the designers the same types of materials or the exact same brief. And it’s interesting to see how each of them actually run with it and what they turn out in the end for good or bad. (The more limiting the brief the more interesting to see how this plays out actually, often in unconventional challenges, but not always.)

This is the same with writing. Your kitchen sink urban fantasy isn’t going to be Jim Butcher’s or Patricia Briggs’ or Kim Harrison’s or at least another half dozen writers I have forgotten the names of. Your voice, your rules, your world building, the setting, the characters are all going to be a point of difference between your story and their story. The point of difference is your voice. Your writing style and your voice are your brand of writing.

So what if you’re writing another kitchen sink urban fantasy? There are lots of people out there that love kitchen sink urban fantasies. As long as you’re writing the best and most polished kitchen sink urban fantasy you can in your own style and voice, then don’t worry about the other people writing kitchen sink urban fantasies and not being original or that your writing is inferior.

You know what readers see, “MORE KITCHEN SINK URBAN FANTASY. MINE!”

It's the Two Cakes thing:

https://helpfulwritingstuff.tumblr.com/post/175643753023/lbibliophile-salt-of-the-ao3-pervocracy

Look, stealing from one person is plagiarism. (And I do mean word for word, idea for idea here.) Stealing from many people is research. And if you’re compared to someone else and it doesn’t matter for good or for ill, that’s great! That means there is an audience for your writing! So what if they don’t think you’re as good as the other author? Or maybe they think you’re better than that other author? Why does it matter? As long as you’re putting out the best possible work you can put out in your voice. You aren’t that other author! Don’t worry about them. Worry about you! You’ve got to move on to the next book and the next set of characters and the next idea.

You can’t control what readers (including editors) think about you or how they compare you to other authors. You control your reactions. Sure. Go ahead. Get emotional. Let the emotion run its course. Come back and see if you can learn anything from that critique. Or, you can accept that readers are critiquing for other readers and not you. They all have opinions. Everyone has opinions, it doesn’t mean they’re good or even applicable opinions! You have to find people to put around you that you trust know your vision and what you’re trying to convey to an audience and find that editor that pushes you to improve the way you write or the way you pitch. Worry about what you’re doing.

Don’t worry about what the readers are doing outside of reading. You can’t control it.

And honestly, if they don’t like what you’re writing. They have fan fiction.

You, as a writer, don’t exist in a vacuum. You can bar yourself away from social media and society and write the most original concept you can think of writing and submit only to find out that someone else had the same type of concept even though you’ve never met and never read each other’s works. Why? There are a lot of ideas out there floating around. No one owns them. No one owns how they get to be combined. But your concept and their concept will be different in execution. The building blocks may be the same and maybe they built a fairy tale castle and you built a brooding manor house.

This is the universal consciousness of mankind. People all over the world coming up with permutations of the same building blocks over and over again and creating wonderful things that reflect their experiences and share their voice!

And if you let that get to you, that someone out there might have the same idea as you do. Then you’re going to be paralyzed and not write anything at all for fear of “not being original.”

Being original doesn’t matter. Execution matters. Your voice matters. Once you get past that originality is Queen then you can focus on you and your story. Worry about your voice and your execution and creating the best book possible for your audience, the people who want more of your type of comforting stories.

So, as daddy says, “Don’t worry about what others are doing. Worry about what you’re doing.” Because, that’s all you can control, you and your reactions.

As for me, I have my post-apocalyptic urban science fantasy adventure werewolf stories, my broken fairy tales, my sometime in the future kitchen sink urban fantasy bakery adventures, a urban fantasy magical horse game, and a straight out science fantasy space opera adventure thing to write. So many ideas, possibly none of them original all ripped out of building blocks of other things, but you know what, they have my voice and I don’t care. People who like that sort of thing will like those sorts of things.

Happy writing!

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Some Bally Good Sci-Fi Shows For Your Consideration

You ‘orrible lot may have noticed that I haven’t written anything on here in a really, really long time. Even longer than usual, in fact. There are two reasons for that. Firstly, I have a column with a real online magazine now. I’m a regular contributor to Culture Matters. So suck on that. Secondly, I’m happy for the first time in awhile, because I’m seeing someone beautiful and amazing. Since my best writing definitely comes from a place of hate, I don’t write during those periods when my life doesn’t suck. However, the world of cultural commentary still has need of me, so here I am. today’s topic, is sci-fi shows! I’ve moaned about the poor quality of Doctor Who and how distasteful I find its cheap, nasty gender-flipping antics (way to get rid of a great example of non-toxic masculinity, BBC... you fucking berks). But now I think it behoves me, as your guiding voice in the modern cultural wasteland, to suggest some alternatives. If you’re looking for offbeat space sci-fi that can replace the gaping Who-shaped hole in your life, I have a few suggestions. Read on, ye fuckin’ reader-man.

1. Red Dwarf Yes, I know I bring up Red Dwarf every time I talk about TV, but there’s a reason for that: it’s great. For those of you who somehow don’t know what it is, it’s a British sci-fi show about a slobby, well-meaning human, an uptight, sarcastic hologram, a narcissistic cat-person and a prissy cleaning droid with a head “shaped like a freak formation of mash potato”. They’re trapped in space on a failed mining vessel and therefore, inevitably, get involved in all sorts of high-concept sci-fi misadventures. As you can probably tell, it’s a comedy. The genius of it, however, is that the sci-fi scenarios themselves are totally serious and carefully-plotted. The humour arises from the neuroses of the characters and their skewed, off-kilter reactions to the perils they find themselves in. Speaking as a Brit, I think it encapsulates our sense of humour and our attitude to science fiction better than any other show. Including Doctor Who when it was still good.

2. Farscape Farscape is brilliant. It may be the single greatest space opera ever told in a visual medium. I could tell you it concerns a random assortment of aliens on the run from a fascist galactic police force while an internecine and complicated interplanetary conflict bubbles away in the background, constantly threatening to spill over into outright war. However, that sounds a bit generic and doesn’t really do it justice. The greatness of Farscape lies in its patient and heartfelt characterisation and the care and authenticity it uses to develop every planet and civilisation. There are wonderful digressions and side-plots that flesh out world or characters and feel just as vital and important as the main plot arc while you watch them. It helps that the universe it portrays is actually completely unique and unlike anything else in the genre once you get past the broad-strokes stuff. 

3. Hyperdrive Another British space comedy. I’ve heard it described as The Office in space, but it really isn’t. It applies the bureaucracy, incompetence and mild weirdness of a UK office environment to the process of space exploration, but it’s not like The Office. For a start, it’s fundamentally optimistic. The Office was bleak as fuck (which is also good, but not relevant here). It’s kind of nice to watch people who are a bit like people you actually know bumbling their way through theoretically-epic space adventures. Watching Hyperdrive always feels a bit like slipping into a lovely, warm pair of well-worn slippers, even if you’ve never seen it before. It’s just nice. It’s also piss-yourself-laughing funny.

4. Lexx Lexx isn’t just an alternative to modern Doctor Who, it’s an antidote to it. Cynical, nihilistic and bitingly satirical, it regularly features entire planets getting blown up for no reason, random support characters being reduced to protein or devoured by sexy plant-women, gleeful acts of wholly unnecessary sadism and moral quandaries that never actually get resolved. It’s also never heard of gender politics, but has a surprisingly egalitarian attitude towards fan-service, so expect lots of nudity and weird sex shenanigans that serve no purpose other than to remind you that Lexx doesn’t care one fucking jot if normal people are grossed out or offended by it. The unremitting ethical void that the show offers instead of a conventional sci-fi universe is balanced out by the core cast, who are all loveable losers, who alternate between trying to be good and just trying not to die. It could only have been made in the 90s (by a Canadian and German production team, no less) and it’s amazing.

5. Space Dandy Why yes, I have mentioned Space Dandy before. It’s the demented space-manga that features entire episodes about hunting for great ramen or sentient vaccuum cleaners falling in love with coffee machines. It’s also got a talking genius gorilla in it who dresses like a cross between George Washington and a mad scientist. Because reasons. Bizarrely, it actually has continuity, but that continuity is subjected, within the show’s lore, to the unpredictable nature of an infinite pseudo-multiverse. It’s bonkers and I  urge you to go watch it right now.

Right, that lot ought to keep you busy. Honourable mentions go to the 1980s version Flash Gordon, in which Brian Blessed plays a vengeful humanoid kestrel (the film says ‘hawkman’, but he clearly looks more like a fucking kestrel), Cowboy Bebob, which came out of the same minds as Space Dandy but doesn’t reach quite the same level of transcendent weirdness and The Orville, which is just Star Trek if the characters all had the rods surgically removed from up their arses. 

[allspark]

Joining us in the Allspark Studios today is the strongest and wisest of all Autobots, Optimus Prime!  Will he fulfill his role of protecting all the life on your toy shelves, or will he split into three autonomous modules and spend the day watching Nextflix with himself?  Tune in after the break to find out!

At this point, you could basically fill a small museum with all the different versions of Optimus Prime.  Each one has its own personality of design, with high points and limitations of the era within which they were created.  Having been a fan of the franchise for most of my life, I have owned nearly all of them, minus G2 Go-Bot Optimus Prime, which still leaves a void in my collector’s heart.  Every time I buy an Optimus figure, there has been a moment of reckoning, as I look at the new figure and compare it to the Optimus Prime in my head; the spirit of the character, as interpreted by my once 7-year-old’s mind as he watched cartoon Optimus in awe every Saturday morning in the 80’s.  While each figure is essentially him, none of them have ever truly come close to glory of the cartoon aesthetic of Optimus Prime while maintaining the ability to transform.  While we may be getting an official MP (and some 3P) that will do just this, finding a figure at the average collector’s budget just didn’t seem likely…then Hasbro dropped Siege Optimus on us.  Let’s see how he measures up!

Vehicle Mode

There are a lot of really good things going on in this vehicle mode, even if it does not perfectly embody G1 Prime’s cab mode.  It has the right basic square cab shape, clear-ish windows, tires on metal pins, and a nice amount of red, blue and silver with just a bit of white thrown in.  From a bit of a distance, it comes really close to getting things on the G1 dot, but there are a few elements that break the illusion.  Most of the non-slavishly G1 elements come out of looks versus function needs, and I am OK with that.

The smokestacks are not the “right” proportion, and if they were, they would get in the way of transformation and posing/play. The “overcab” light section that also contains the grill, headlights, and bumper is needed to turn a heroic torso section into a flat-faced cab front.  All things considered, the only design element I find a little off-putting is the grill, which is covered in the same translucent blue plastic as the windows and lights.  I would have preferred for this section to have been grey or silver, but that is easy enough to correct with some touch up paint if it really starts to bother me.

The paint ops are nice enough on this mode, with the exception that the “battle damage” was not clearly designed with this mode in mind.  There is a little bit on the front just under the windshield, and the shoulder damage is still in view, but aside from that the rest of the vehicle mode is devoid of this random detail.  I understand budgets come into play, and perhaps this was the best medium between all or none in both modes, but it leaves the vehicle mode with random markings that just seem out of place.

One feature of the Siege line that I love on this figure is all of the 5mm ports.  Between the deluxes like Cog and Six-Gun, the Micromasters and Battlemasters, a creative young (or old) fan can turn Optimus into a veritable “battle convoy”.  It is even possible for Headmasters and Titanmasters to get in on the fun, if only as pilots for the added weaponry.  This is a great move on Hasbro’s part, and I think most fans will love it as much as I do.

  Robot Mode

Truck Mode was great.  Robot mode is where Siege Prime really shines.  First off, he has the right look.  Except for the wheels at his sides, the “overcab” panel (which could be looked at as a jetpack) and the panels on his forearms (which are way less obtrusive than the panels on Classics Prime), he is basically cartoon Prime.  Get rid of the battle damage paint and swap most of his greys with his whites, and he’s there despite those other details, all for the cost of a voyager (local pricing policies may apply).

One of the things that really pushes this Prime to the top of my personal list is the insane amount of articulation.  He has:

  Ankle tilts

Knee joints

Lateral knee movement

Lateral thigh movement

Hips on rotating swivels

Waist movement

Backward shoulder swivels

Shoulders on rotating swivels

Lateral bicep movement

Elbows

Swivel fists

Swivel neck

Partially moveable head on ball joint

He can do lots of awesome poses, such as the classic scene from the ‘85 movie where he transforms and blasts Decepticons from the air as he leaps above them.

This is truly one of the most iconic Optimus Prime figures ever, especially at anywhere near an affordable price for most fans.  If you throw in the added fun from all the 5mm ports and the ability to add weapons and other figures into the mix, he is well worth the cost.

  Transformation

While I was able to transform this figure back and forth without the instructions, the first time through was a bit of a learning curve to get all the parts in the right place.  While I enjoy a mildly challenging transformation, this might make Prime a little difficult for younger fans.  Don’t be surprised if you gift him to one of the kiddoes and find yourself being asked to switch him back and forth.  At least he’s not as frustrating as Car Robots were back in the day.

    Recommendation

I give Siege Optimus Prime 9 blast effects out of 10!  He is a packed with fun in vehicle mode, ready for action posing in robot mode, and very close to the ideal Optimus Prime with a price tag that won’t kill your wallet.  While he may still need some assistance if gifted to younger fans, I still think they will love him as much as the G1 generation will.  Make sure to keep your eyes peeled and pick him up as soon as you have the chance!

    Firedrive

During my review of Megatron and the Wave 1 Battlemasters and Micromasters, I lamented slightly about how HasTak ditched the Japanese Targetmaster molds from Legends in favor of newly designed Battlemaster molds.  Since then I have spent more time with Firedrive and Blowpipe and they have grown on me because of their designs.  There is a certain amount of curve or puffiness in the techno-organic, Cybertronian style that the Legends figures just don’t have.  Once you look at Firedrive’s shins and shoulders, you will see what I am talking about.  There is something very classic to their look, and I am happier now that we got new figures because of it.  I still wish Firedrive had a slight bit more articulation, but I will keep buying Battlemasters because they look great and come with blast effects.

    Lionizer

Lionizer is a Cybertronian lion whose tail becomes a back-mounted blaster, and who can also transform into a sword/blaster (Qualta blade, #farscape).  He comes with a slashing effect that also looks nice on Megatron’s sword/blaster.  I think he is my favorite Battlemaster so far.

    Race Car Patrol

This is a neat set of mini-figures.  Both Roadhandler and Swindler maintain vehicle modes that look close to their G1 forms of a Trans-Am and a DeLorean.  If that wasn’t cool enough, they have decently articulated forms for such tiny robots, and they can combine into a blaster (of sorts).  The only knock I will give them is that they don’t stand very well on their own if you do much more than a vanilla standing pose.

    Battle Patrol

These were the Micromasters I wanted as a kid (who was considered too old for toys by that time).  Topshot and Flak are great recreations of half of the original team.  There is something cool about tiny Cybertronian tanks and missile launchers, especially since they are a bit more in proportion to the city bots.  Due to the way their feet are designed, the Battle Patrol is more stable in standing and action poses than their Race Car Patrol brethren.  They also form a much more convincing blaster, which is almost as cool as having a DeLorean on the team.

      Siege Optimus Prime

  Lionizer 

  Firedrive

  Autobot Race Car Patrol

  Autobot Battle Patrol

  Siege Optimus Prime, Wave 1 Autobot Micromaster and Battlemaster Gallery and Review! Joining us in the Allspark Studios today is the strongest and wisest of all Autobots, Optimus Prime!