#I do not remember if I made up the headcanon of Marius diagnosing appliances with things

[miralines]

Marius

*cue fire elmo*

One Marius coming up!

*****

“Well, Mr. Scorch, this has been *very* illuminating. I’ll have to run some tests, but I believe you suffer from a debilitating case of Seasonal Affective Disorder.”

Mr. Scorch says nothing. Marius pats it gently, reassuring.

“Now, I know this must be a shock, but it explains your symptoms perfectly, and the good news is that most cases respond well to–”

“Why are you talking to the toaster?” Tim asks from behind him. Marius jumps up, hiding his notes behind his back.

“Aha, Tim! You should have knocked! Confidentiality and all–”

Tim groans. “I’m telling Ashes you’re diagnosing the appliances again.” He turns and walks out of the kitchen.

“Wait! No! They’ll take my cooking privileges again!” You prescribe a microwave a bottle of spLexapro one time… how was he to know it would explode?

Tim breaks into a run, and Marius sprints off after him, his patient forgotten.