#I dislike shipping discourse (and labels) So I don't consider myself anything

[narmothewraith]

Introduction of my blog

My main rule is when interacting with me: just be nice and if you harass people for the content they like?? Just fuck off, this page is safe for the freaks. (I mean look at the warning) As long you're nice and you let me be me, I won't give a fuck who you are. So yeah that's all :)

~ I go by the name; Sam

~ I'm a masc person and while I prefer male pronouns I don't really give a fuck, so you can call me anything.

~ I'm 18 and post/reblog 18+ content now and then, so if you're uncomfortable with 18+ content or are a minor please do not interact with those posts... Thank you <3 Uhhh so basically I'm being horny on main...

⚠️ WARNING: I play DoL (Degrees of Lewdity) and I post/reblog stuff about it but it's a very fucked up porn game, so I will post/reblog dark content on here. I will try to tag accordingly but yeah. In general there will be some reblogs of dark content, so if you don't like that, well this was a warning ⚠️

[selchwife]

augh <3

bitching about this here bc i feel way more comfortable doing that than on main where i have a ton of followers i dont know but like

i hate shipping discourse so fucking muuuuch lol. i usually try to just ignore it but occasionally i stumble upon it anyway and i end up so fucking frustrated with how uncharitable people tend to be.

there's been this article going around recently on twitter that was meant to explain the "anti vs proship" debate to people in JP fandom, but it was (imo anyway) like EXTREMELY heavily biased and felt pretty cruel and dismissive bc of that.

i get that there are people on both sides of the discourse that are utterly horrible fucking maniacs and that there are also people who ascribe to one label or the other and end up not really having a lot of difference in opinion, like "i think it's wrong to write simulated CSEM/abuse/etc but i also don't think that means topics like abuse should never be written about, and i don't condone harassing people even if what they do is wrong" is something i've been like. shocked to find is the exact stance of people i've met who i found out aligned with pr*ship and who were equally shocked to find that most of my experience with people who consider themselves pr*ship is like "you are literally a massive fascist puritan if you have any qualms with people making underage/incest/etc type content." like, i was really scared bc of Labels that these people i'd known for a while were actually dangerous to me and would advocate things that hurt me, and it turned out we had basically the exact same opinion.

and like i guess i can't blame people for thinking "oh those guys are clearly the nutballs here bc i didn't do anything wrong and got harassed/saw them saying something insanely cruel" on EITHER side. like, i certainly do not give anyone who bitches about "puritan antis" or who considers themselves pr*ship the benefit of the doubt, bc in my experience most of those people have gone on to say and do extremely offensive hurtful stuff, and people who hang out in those communities are not people who i feel at all safe around or who i generally consider great people. it's just really frustrating to have my own concerns painted as like "anyone who doesn't feel comfortable with pr*ship people is just making their feelings other people's problems and being thought police, and all they ever do is harass people, you should avoid them for your safety!" bc like. i just leave people alone! i avoid them if i dislike them!!

and especially bc like. i don't even consider myself an "anti." i feel like i'm just a reasonable person, and that's a label that's only ever been maliciously put ON me by people who object harshly to my having any sort of standards for how i think other people should act. i don't like that i want a VERY SPECIFIC sort of person to leave me alone (people who are OK with romanticized and sexualized portrayals of incest, csa, and abuse), and since most people who advocate for those things use a specific label, i ask that nobody from that group interact with me. so naturally the latest Big Fandom Thing is all about how people who make that request are like....unreasonable and will attack other people and shit? i literally do not have the time in my day to do that shit. i just don't want to have flashbacks or feel like people believe what happened to me is okay.

it's so fucking frustrating and exhausting and it wouldn't be a problem if we didn't live in a horrible fucking broken-ass culture that just CANNOT resist defending sexual abuse in fiction OR in reality. i'm not going to trust people who parrot rape myths in fiction even if they insist they don't believe them in reality. they're lying, or they wouldn't repeat them at all. i just, like, UGH. i wish it wasn't seen as radical to just ask people to be respectful of survivors but it is bc i feel like so many people just immediately jump to victim-blaming. people who lived through this are the lowest of the low to them and doing anything to us and saying anything about us is fine and if we object it's because we're oversensitive and need to shut up and take all the abuse we get heaped on us, because GOD FORBID anyone not get to have their fun valorizing sexual abuse at our expense! we're all acceptable collateral for their entertainment! it's just like. not fair.

[rpbetter]

Wha-? Now people are labeling muns who just play devil's advocate and don't have strong feelings either way about what other people write? I didn't sign up to be a 'proshipper' just for not caring what other people ship. I don't care about a lot of things. Why the label for this particular thing? It sounds so dumb, like a way to yank in more muns who just want to mind their own business into drama and 'sides'. I agree with your post, I'm just angry at the rpc for being babies. And the labels...

I'm always angry at the RPC for being babies and the labels, it's alright, Anon.

I believe (and I could be wrong, because for the most part, I tried to stay out of any and all fandom-related things for years and years - I just want to enjoy the movie/shows/books, I don't need or want to discourse about that shit, you know?) that all of those terms originated in fandom, outside/predating transfer to the RPC.

I know when I encountered them initially, it was in fandom, not the RPC part of fandom...and at that time, it was just the label of people being "antis." A label they gave themselves by, literally, asserting themselves as "anti-character here-."

It's been my supposition that the RPC's transition to being more canon character and fandom-based than OC-preferred led to an organic transfer of more fandom-specific terminology (and behaviors). As places like twitter and tumblr became hubs of fandom and RPCs, they brought tags to the table. While that is an absolutely wonderful thing, it also means that we all started out tagging things with good intentions, only meant to be tags. You could tag something, pulling from a random fandom here, "anti-Daryl Dixon" from TWD and the plethora of fans who love that character could block it. It was a peacekeeping measure at that state, not a flag for discourse and drama.

Tag-language influencing and becoming an organic part of language, in general, is a whole other, though fascinating, topic, so I'm going to just leave that there. The point is, it happened.

And unfortunately, you quickly got people popping "anti-whatever" in their bios and blog descriptions. Not as a means of allowing others to avoid it, but as a means of making it really clear that they despised the character, fandom, ship, whatever. With purity culture 3.5 hitting in earnest, the reasons for despising those things became raised stakes. It wasn't a basis of simply disliking them anymore - you needed a dissertation how this thing was morally objectionable and destroying the world. Anyone disagreeing with you, by that logic, is morally reprehensible themselves and must be stopped. Raised stakes.

Actions cause reactions, too. People started making it clear that they were "pro" whatever, too. These became opposing designations, and honestly, I'm not sure who started up "proshipper" first. I only know I saw it being used negatively first, that doesn't mean it happened that way! What I've seen has been the entire ship/write/like what you want crowd being given that label negatively and taking it up themselves in the same way people are given to take up a lot of things they've been negatively called.

By "what I've seen," I don't just mean witnessing it happening in the wild lol it happened to me, as well. I reblogged a post about how shipping wasn't activism, and got an anon informing me that I was a disgusting proshipper (every time I reblog that, I get at least one person popping off in my RP inboxes, actually, it hasn't slowed down any). At which point, I, too, was very much like, I'm a what now? Yes, I am okay with shipping? What the hell is this person even on about?

So, it's my theory that in response to the anti movement, some people stated that they were "pro-ship and let ship" and thus...we got to be "disgusting proshippers."

Regardless, it absolutely is just another way of labeling people in order to single them out and/or keep feeding drama, yes.

And again, I feel you. I know labels, good, bad, reclaimed, whatever, seem to give a lot of people a grounded sense of identity, but I've always been uncomfortable with them. I don't understand the need for them, even if I get that they make others feel a certain way. I just want to feel the way I do, be the person I am, and have that person engaged with based singularly on my actions.

It's alright if someone else wants to freely label themselves in a way they feel is positive (though, I do wish that younger people, especially in the queer community didn't have this batshit pressure to do so, and correctly, the first time), but they've always felt threatening and restrictive to me.

As such, having people create and bestow a label on me for the purpose of designating me a problem is kind of an uncomfortable realization of why I feel negative about them. I don't like it, and it's part of why I don't like the bullshit of making this distinction in DNIs. By doing so, they're literally as hell singling people out...with a negative label they gave them for the criminal act of feeling like it's absurd to police fiction, instead, expecting adults to behave like adults when engaging with fiction and each other.

It's honestly forcing hostility and drama, when the point of being ship/write/like and let ship/write/like is not having that hostility and drama. It's merely a live and let live mentality, that's what y'all are attacking! The labeling is a rotting cherry on top that is so indicative of this same, legitimately problematic, behavior that goes on in the extremism I talked about in the post you referenced. It's...gross, let's just say that.

And I'm really sorry that it makes you upset, too! You don't have to label yourself, you can reject that and refuse to engage with those using it in this negative way. That makes me feel considerably less annoyed and disturbed! I'll totally joke about it, as I do fall into the designated parameters of being both "proship" and "anti-anti," but I don't actually label myself thus. I only consider myself a reasonable adult who has better and more serious shit going on than to worry about what fiction someone else is writing or enjoying.

Just...do be aware that, like myself and others, you're likely to be labeled if one of these hostile parties sees you reblog the "wrong" thing or make the "wrong" statement. You are being labeled in those DNIs for your viewpoint of wishing to avoid absurd drama. So, I'd advise, for your peace of mind, to try to avoid blogs stating that they're "anti" anything but drama/bullying etc., or who feel it necessary to put up those DNIs. You are who they're talking about, they just don't know it because you're not labeling yourself or being otherwise obvious about it :/

Try your best to avoid that changing, you deserve to peacefully enjoy RP! As disturbing as it is, as rightfully upset about it as you are, maybe it's a good thing you found out? In this way, I mean. Without someone bringing it to your inbox hatefully. Now you know what it means, that they mean you, and you can stay away from it! Try to look at it that way - there will always be people weirdly desperate to make their drama hobby everyone else's problem, you can only make an effort to stay out of it if you know what to look for, right?

I hope any of this made you feel better about the fresh hell that is the RPC lol keep doing you, Anon! You're not the problem, infantile drama mongers are <3

[fictolotus]

faq

q: what's self shipping? what's an f/o? what a s/i?

a: self shipping is exactly what is says on the tin - shipping yourself with fictional characters. for many people, including myself, it's a coping mechanism. f/o is short for "fictional other", a play on s/o or "significant other", n it's a character you self ship with. s/i stands for "self insert", or a character who is basically you that is in the source's universe.

~

q: why do you go by multiple different names?

a: well, my actual name is rory. i used to go by keith, n key is a shortening of that (kei, but spelled differently). lotus is just a cute nickname based on my url. i've gone by several other names in the past, most notably cas and cash, but i don't really use those anymore.

~

q: i'm confused about your sexuality!

a: i'm multisexual, mlm/vincian, nln/diamoric, and wlw/sapphic. i call myself both omni + bi!

i'm aromantic, which means i don't experience romantic attraction. i'm aromid, which means that i share experiences with alloaros + aroaces due to me being acespec (greyace, specifically)!

i am also fictosexual + fictoromantic. i know these are controversial labels to some people, but they're very important to me; n as they were originally coined for aspec people, i refuse to feel guilty about using them.

i am attracted to fictional characters regardless of gender, but i have a preference for men + enbies, probably due to my irl preference in attraction.

~

q: wait, if you're transmasculine and agender, how come your s/i(s) look so feminine?

a: i'm extremely gnc (gender non-conforming) and i'm a femme. i actually dislike looking super masculine - the only reason i wear masc stuff irl is so i pass. however, since my s/is are fictional, i can have them wear anything i want, and they will never be misgendered no matter how feminine they are!

also, all of my s/is have had or end up having top surgery (or the magic equivalent), so i don't usually draw them in binders unless i'm drawing a backstory. this is partially to relieve my dysphoria (i desperately want top surgery lmao) and partially to open up new outfit options. but hey, if you were wondering what the scars on my s/is chest in every canon are from, now you know!

~

q: what do the acronyms on your f/o list stand for?

a: they're acronyms for the source material! here's a list of the full names!

NDRV3 - New Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony

SDR2 - Super Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair

DR: THH - Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc

BNHA - Boku No Hero Academia

DDLC - Doki Doki Literature Club

UT/DR - Undertale/Deltarune

YTTD - Your Turn To Die

MC - Minecraft

SDV - Stardew Valley

STH - Sonic The Hedgehog

~

q: why do you use [certain pronouns] for [f/o]?

a: as a trans + nonbinary person, i headcanon a lot of my f/os as trans and/or nonbinary. here's a list of my (headcanoned) nonb f/os, the gender headcanon, n the pronouns i use!

Izuku Midoriya - Bigender - Any pronouns

Rantaro Amami - Genderfluid - Any pronouns

Sayori - Demigirl - She/they

Mina Ashido - Feminine Xenogender - She/xe

~

q: you said you're neurodivergent/mentally ill, but how?

a: i have the following conditions (in order of how much i use this blog to cope with them):

madd (maladaptive daydreaming disorder)

bpd (borderline personality disorder)

hpd (histrionic personality disorder)

trauma, possible c-ptsd (complex post-traumatic stress disorder)

anxiety disorders (generalized and social)

schizophrenia/psychosis

mdd (major depressive disorder)

did (dissociative identity disorder)

also, as mentioned in my about, i'm on the autism spectrum.

some of these are professionally diagnosed, some i'm in testing for, n some are self diagnosed.

~

q: you said you're disabled, but how?

a: i have scoliosis + other crap that causes me chronic pain. a lot of activities are difficult for me because of that. i tend to be very self-consious about my disability, n hide it well, even when my symptoms and pain are really bad. i would consider myself to be "invisibly disabled".

~

q: what is [insert group on my dni]?

a: it's probably a discourse term for a group of bad peope. please ask off anon or message me if you need an explanation; but keep in mind that this is a coping blog n it may take me a while to answer questions abt negative things.

~

q: i have a question that's not on this list!

a: send me an ask or a dm! please understand that interaction with others is hard for me n i run out of spoons very quickly, so i likely won't answer right away. it's nothing against you, i'll get to it!