#I didn't notice the guitar was transparent

[callmerainman]

in having ✨ideas✨ again, and this one’s very fluffy

could we maybe have a sinner! adam oneshot where the reader plays a mandolin and decides one day to play this song in a very low key attempt to impress romance the guy? and maybe adam’s all like “yeah it’s alright I guess” but he’s totally transparent.

please, and thank you

SHOW AND TELL | sinner!Adam x sinner!Reader

word count. 1.7k

tags. Adam being in denial, Reader plays mandolin, fluff, sinner!Adam, gn!sinner!Reader

a/n. aaaa sorry for taking so long! hope you'll enjoy this because the prompt was so cute and funny 😭

This could be a chance.

You rotate the wooden instrument between your hands. A mandolin, your musical companion for so many years. You would have never thought that one day you'd be using it for trying to pick up someone. Especially not the First Man, Adam.

It's "Show and Tell" night at the Hazbin Hotel. The monthly occurrence you never understood, because no one really ever showed anything worth talking about. Angel Dust would put on some of his old porn videocassettes, Husk a cheap bottle of booze that he'll come up with a story for right on the spot, and let's not talk about the time Cherri Bomb showed one of her most recent, newly advanced creations that almost blew the whole Hotel up to pieces.

Also, the last couple of months, Show and Tell night has been graced with the addition of Adam. When he set foot in the Hotel it was clear that he still didn't really believe in Charlie's project. He just didn't have any other options. But, after some time, a hint of comfort was starting to show on the arrogant fallen angel. He became tamer, more sufferable to be around, almost pleasing sometimes. At first, you thought that you would have never had anything to share with Adam. But then conversations started to flow in the common rooms, and you two started to hang out outside the Hotel, even opening up to each other.

Adam wasn't that bad. Adam was funny to be around. Adam was easy to talk to. And Adam was pretty and...

Oh. Oh!

You crushed hard. Denial was the first stage, because c'mon, that's Adam, the former leader of the Extermination, a sadistic bastard. But he was also the one to greet you first when you came down for breakfast in the morning, who sat next to you at dinner to have some small talk, and the one who laughed more at your jokes. You learned to accept your feelings, but then a new problem presented itself. How exactly do you pull Adam?

He was more interesting than you thought that you could ever be. Not to inflate his ego, but he was the First Man to ever be created. He named the animals of Earth, he has been around for so long that he has seen it all. And he had two knock out ex-wives! How could you even compete? He played the guitar and was in a rock band in Heaven. But then, remembering that information, you glanced over at the wooden mandolin hung up to a hook on the right wall of your Hotel room. Maybe Adam didn't like you, but he for sure liked music. And mandolin wasn't exactly his type of instrument, but you still had music on your side. Yeah, this could be a chance.

——

You and the other guests take a seat each on the couches and chairs of the common room. Adam is sitting right in front of you, your eyes interlocked for a second before you both look away. Geez your cheeks feel hot. Then here comes Charlie, waltzing in the middle of the circle traced by the seats, smiling happily as she announces Show and Tell night. She suggests Angel to go first.

"I hope it's something a little...different from your usual presentations" she proposes.

Angel cocks an eyebrow upwards "No miss, this is exactly what you're all thinking of".

Husk groans, dragging a paw down his face as Angel puts on one of his porn movies he starred in. You look everywhere but the screen, and this includes Adam. He's not paying attention, playing with his VPhone behind his crossed legs so that Vaggie won't notice and threaten him with her angelic spear. As you throw him quick glances throughout the night, you realize that he quite literally didn't pay attention to anyone, not even a second. Concern starts to build up in you. What if he doesn't even look at you?

Adam only intervenes when it's his turn, positioning himself in the middle of the circle with a loud sigh. He then rummages in his robe, and takes out his designated object.

"A bra?!" Cherri Bomb asks.

"Yeah" a sly smirk spreads on Adam's face "this is the first bra a chick ever threw at me during a show. The first of many, many bras"

"How the fuck did you even bring it down here?" you question, more worried about that circumstance than the origin of the underwear article.

"You don't know my ways" Adam replies.

He keeps rambling some more minutes about how he broke Heaven's record for bras thrown on stage, with the smuggest, biggest shit-eating smirk known to man. After he's done, he plops down on the couch again, ready to not listen to anything the next guests have to show. And he does, either by taking a nap or playing on his phone.

"It's your turn, (Y/N)!" Charlie announces, clasping her hands together.

Shit. You reach for the case resting near your ankles. You open up the hard cover and take out your wooden mandolin.

"You play instruments?" Angel Dust asks, surprised.

"Yeah, I practice everyday" you say.

Of course no one knew, because Adam always has his rock music and amps blasted on max and he obliterates the hell out of any sound from your Hotel floor.

"I used to play mandolin when I was alive, it was my first instrument. I thought that I might as well bring it down here with me".

"C'mon, play something!" Charlie encourages you, a bright smile sparkling on her adoring face.

Here comes the difficult part. You gulp, feeling your guts squeezing from nervousness. Because Adam is staring. Since Charlie called your name, you noticed that Adam had put down his phone and he's now actually paying attention to you, unlike how he did with everyone else. This is sending you over the edge. Out of embarrassment and excitement at the same time. Damn butterflies in the stomach. You just hope to not mess this up.

You stroke the chords with your thumb to make sure they're correctly tuned. You shoot Adam a quick glance. Still staring at you, nonchanlanty, but he's watching. Just like you planned. You take a deep breath, you position your hands correctly and then you start playing the mandolin. The tune is relaxed, dreamy, mesmerising as you pluck the strings with ease. Your fingers almost flow with the sounds coming out of the instrument. You make sure not to mess anything up. Your technique is flawless, so there shouldn't be any worry. What's worrisome is trying not to look at Adam too much. You do give him a few glances to check for any reaction, but this could lead to missing pieces. You take a deep breath and go on strumming. Finally, despite Adam's wanted but feared attention, you manage to relax and let the sweet serenade curl around the room. As the delicate melody unfurls, you notice Adam shifting, placing his chin in his palm as he gives you his undivided attention. Then, you signal the end of the tune by finger picking a calm, lingering chord progression. The second you put the mandolin down, an excited clapping of hands makes you jump on the spot.

"Bravo! Bravo! That was amazing, (Y/N)!" Charlie erupts.

You chuckle "Thanks, Charlie"

Your gaze shifts from Charlie to Adam. He was still staring, but something's different. Is he blushing? Are his pupils dilated? Or maybe is just the result of your delusional imagination. Maybe not, because even someone else noticed Adam's change in attitude.

"Sooo, Adam, whatcha think?" Angel Dust cooes, a pointy smirk curling on his face.

Adam snaps out of his state, his eyes shooting up at Angel.

"Uh?" he goes, defiant but at the same time confused.

"You seemed to reaaaally enjoy it" Angel inquires.

Adam's eyebrows shoot upwards, his lips tight and reduced to a thin line. Oh he's blushing.

"I ehm-" he stutters.

"Right!" Charlie is quick to interrupt him "What did you think about it, Adam? Share it with us!"

Adam looks at you for a brief moment. You don't say anything, you're probably as embarrassed as him. He breaks eye contact, scoffing.

"Yeah I don't know, whatever" he mumbles, crossing his arms in an attempt to look unimpressed.

His own body is betraying him. His foot rythmically tapping on the floor, his heart racing, his scrunched, nervous face and his cheeks now turned into a hot mess.

"You sure? Seems like Cupid hit you in the right spot" Angel elbows Cherri Bomb, who giggles "Your face looks as hot as me"

Adam grits his teeth, clenching his fingers around his clothed arms.

"Yeah!" Cherri Bomb intervenes "you need a hand? A cup of water? Some air? (Y/N), you broke this guy!"

Adam jumps in his own seat, pointing a furious finger towards Cherri and Angel who are laughing their asses off.

"Cupid didn't hit shit! I said that I don't give a flying fuck about (Y/N) and how fucking good they look when they play mand-FUCK!"

"Ooooh" Angel and Cherri sing song in unison, a devilish grin.

"Aww, Adam! That's so sweet of you!" Charlie chirps, genuinely proud of him.

Adam lets out a frustrated, anger-boiling growl before hurriedly getting up from his seat. His newly sprout horns grow bigger, his tail quivers and his wings puff. He starts to hysterically point at everyone in the room.

"You know what? Fuck this shit! Fuck this stupid Show and Tell night, fuck this Hotel, and fuck you, and you, and you, and fuck everybody! Except (Y/N)- no wait shit!"

And then, Adam punches the air and just storms off, leaving Angel and Cherri Bomb laughing behind him.

"Oh my God..." you whisper, incredulous as you rub your shoulders up and down with your hands.

Angel gets up and plops down on the couch next to you, leaning towards you with a smug grin.

"I dunno why would you hit that, but good job" he says, offering your a fist bump.

You let out a small chuckle before pounding Angel's fist.

Nailed it.

[nadiegesabate1990]

soundcloud.com/nadiegesabate.

Before coming to this site, I managed to disconcert the public with my talent and the vitality of my compositions. I was an idiot just listening to other artists' songs and sitting around doing nothing. And quickly converts me into a composer. In 2014, my page ello.co debuted. So, in 2022, I premiered on soundcload some of my operas

https://soundcloud.com/nadiegesabate.

Upon returning, he noticed that the site had many errors, but I didn't give up. The songs belonging to this second phase of my career are more transparent and popular and some of them are directly inspired by Russian popular music. And after some conflicts with the cultural authorities (facebook), I was forbidden to interpret Chopin's works, and I hope that the ban ceases to be in force.

I am a composer, I create works that someday will value me.

That's kind of childish, banning! It cannot be prohibited. I'm at home listening to symphonic music to orchestrate, I'm not stealing anything from anyone, I'm authentic. A lot of the music I used sounds from the different instruments in FL Studio, because each character is assigned an instrument and a melody of its own. I still left written many symphonies, piano concertos, guitar concertos, numerous works for piano, electronic music. I also have masterpieces the scores composed for westerns.

[kindaeccentric]

You know what? I'll be honest with you, full transparency. I didn't really notice Ray when I was a kid and that's on the music industry and media back then, AND ON ME TOO, I admit it! But I didn't have that much access to videos, to interviews, I literally knew nothing about the guys save for a music video or two, I literally learned about Bullets only after a couple years of listening to Revenge, I literally didn't know Ray is a man of color, I didn't know who played what guitar part, I didn't care for a guy in a tshirt, I knew nothing, I didn't know better. But it's so different now. I have the entire history of the band at the ends of my fingertips, I just need to type into a search bar, it's the most digitalised time ever. And it helps I am a grownup, my brain is finally fully developed, my tastes are more refined, I understand a lot of things differently, I did some reading, went through university education. So the moment I saw Ray live (because to be honest I initially didn't plan to go, I gave up on MCR ever returning, I didn't trust it to be anything, but a reunion that will come and go, oh how much that changed as well) was the moment I fucking understood. His presence is impossible to ignore if you can see him and hear him play and I didn't go in expecting it at all, considering my lack of interest in Ray as a teen, I was just vaguely interested, I was always a Gerard fan first and foremost, but man. He's everything. I didn't need to be told that, but if someone didn't experience this revelation, they should be told, because to actively, purposefully ignore Ray now is just malice, it's racism. You have opportunities to learn I didn't have! It doesn't excuse me, because I had that white fan privilege that I didn't have to think about race at all and I know I should have read up on him much earlier, absolutely. But it's never too late to learn, it's the refusal to learn that deserves condemnation. If you have all the resources and can hear Ray play his solos and still only focus on Frank (and I adore Frank, I desire Frank carnally), I will judge you. Ray deserves better than how he's treated, how even my teenage self treated him, how me from before the concert treated him, he's an incredible musician, and even if we put that aside, he's a foundational member of the band, plain and simple. Yeah, he's also a very good looking sweet feminine man that I finally know how to appreciate, but even if you're simply not attracted to him, you have to appreciate his skills, his massive role in the band or it's plainly obvious why it is you're ignoring him. Do better. I am not perfect, by any means, but I'm trying. Do. Better.

[ashtonsunshine]

Easier / Behind the scenes

[melghi]

Hi guys this is the second part of " A trip with a lot of surprises" in the enemies to lovers universe of Julieta and Agustin. Let's see how it goes.

Señorita: Miss

Corazón: sweet heart

Conejita: little Bunny

I will update tomorrow too✌️

-------

Leaving the box with arepas on the first row of seats, Agustin noticed both Bruno and Felix were seated in the musicians' spot, it was the last row basically. Most likely the twins, Carlos and Tony have convinced them to join them. Those two always carried their instruments everywhere they went. An old but sturdy guitar, a drum that has seen better days and a 2 sets of maracas.

Before he could continue paying attention to how his companions had settled in.

Agustin got off the chiva to go further back and help Julieta get on. This bus was very high and had no aisles to walk through, but you had options if you wanted to change your seat.The first one was getting off and then climb again wherever you wanted, the second one, was jumping over the stalls, and your last and wildest one was hanging from the structure like a monkey.

Also, you had to be careful with the sides, there were no doors but chains that could be removed or put on, that was its only security. He had never understood how they were used especially to celebrate parties, he couldn't even imagine getting on one of these while drunk.

"Allow me please, it wouldn't look good if la señorita Madrigal were to fall and hurt her cute butt." the bespectacled boy whispered to the brunette as he climbed up again and offered her his hand. When she walked past him, he slowly let go of her hand. It almost seemed to hurt them."

"Thank you," Julieta replied, giving him a mischievous smile and sliding into her seat between Pepa and Johana.

"Move shepherd, you're blocking my view of the little lambs," Manuel snapped. "Dumbass meat isn't transparent."

A couple of sheeps accidents and that's your name for the rest of you life.

Only when Manuel saw the disapproving faces of the Madrigal sisters, he snorted and stopped bothering Agustin, giving him one last push. Manuel went on his way and got into the row behind the driver, next to the arepas, as Wilmer, Juaquin and another 2 guys followed him.

Rolling his eyes, Agustin swung to sit next to Bruno, taking the seat nearest to the edge. The seer grinned at him sheepishly as he gave him a maraca.

"All right everybody, Father Juan is already waiting for you up on the mountain. Besides you, we'll pick up some people along the way, that's right guys, 3 years ago we made a road," laughed the driver. "That makes things easier for everyone."

Seeing how the kids organized themselves, the driver pointed out quickly, "Girls it would be a good idea if you put the little ones between you to avoid accidents." Susana obeyed and sat Rogelio, Margarita and Maria between her and Daniela, she then turned her head and asked johana for a blanket to tuck the little ones in, it was 8:00 a.m. but still, it was cold.

"Alright let's go," shouted Mr. Perez. Screams of Excitement were his answer. "Tony, play something spicy man."

With that the journey began.

-------

Bruno was excited, he didn't think he would feel good when they arrived at the middle of the town, but when he saw his friends, he began to feel better.

Besides his sisters, Felix and Agustin made Bruno feel at home, he owes them a lot. Especially Agustin, Bruno almost made his sisters murder him a couple of months ago, the seer let out a chuckle at the memory of what had happened.

A cute squeak brought him out of his thoughts. If anyone thought he wouldn't bring one of his rats they would have been dead wrong, Bruno thought as he pulled a small rat out of his pocket.

Fergus loved to go on adventures and then tell him, through his incredible acting, what he had seen during the day, he was a very talented actor, so as a director, Bruno had to nurture the experiences of his actors.

Of course, sometimes it was a little difficult to know what his furry friend was trying to tell him, like the other day for example...

A strong cough to his left, made him look worriedly at his friend. "Wow Gus, everything ok?" Bruno asked as he gently tapped him on the back.

"cof, cof... Cof, sure. It's nothing," Agustin assured him while looking at the rat in his friend's hands.

"New member?" Agustin smiled tensely.

"Yes, his name is Fergus, he's one of the best of his generation," Bruno said proudly.

Agustin nodded slowly, encouraging Bruno to star talking non-stop about all the stories they hadn't done yet. The bespectacled guy changed his attencion when he felt a pair eyes on him, subtly turning his head a little, his eyes met Julieta's.

"The rat!" he said, moving his lips without making a sound. Realizing the brunette didn't understand, He frantically started to point with his eyes at Bruno's lap.

Oh boy, the brown and white rat from the alley!

When the little guy noticed his observers, he gave them an innocent but dangerous look, it remembered them.

Shit!

If her eyes could have popped out of their sockets, they would have done it by now. Julieta couldn't believe it, what is that little animal doing here, Bruno!?

Okay calm down and act normal, Julieta! she yelled to herself in her head.

"Julieta!" One of the girls in the front called out to her, making the brunette jump.

"What?" Julieta said quickly, but upon looking at  the surprised faces of her friends, she cleared her throat and answered more calmly.

"I mean, Yes?"

"Sorry july, but could you please tell the driver if we can stop for a moment, we've been driving for 2 hours and I need to go to the bathroom, I saw about 30 minutes ago, there is a store nearby, I'm embarrassed to ask."

The girl was kind, Julieta had no problems with her, but she was madly in love with Manuel, ugh! and she was Vanessa's best friend, so they were not very close. Although she would help her this time because that girl just saved her from a breakdown.

"Sure," Julieta answered with a condescending smile.

-------------

Once in the store, their companions began to look around to see if there was anything they wanted to eat, especially the children.

Julieta, for her part, stood one the side, next to the bathrooms trying to look for Agustin with her eyes, while Johana and Pepa went to ask the twins for more famous songs and of course, a few kisses from Felix.

"That was scary, wasn't it? said a voice from behind her, making her jump.

"Agustín!" Julieta mumbled, with her hand on her chest.

"Sorry, Conejita. I didn't mean to scare you." her tormentor replied affectionately.

Julieta could only roll her eyes, it was impossible not to melt at how tender Agustin could be.

"Do you think Bruno's pet, said something to him?"

"I didn't know Bruno besides seeing the future talked to animals," Agustin chuckled.

"You never know, what if someday one of our children could do something like that, it will be our end." Julieta said with exasperation not looking at him.

"Ohhh." Agustin purred.

"What?" replied the brunette with annoyance.

"One of our children you say? Who knew my Conejita would want to have not just one but several children with little old me, my god" Agustin sang.

Blushing beyond belief, julieta stammered. "D-don't be silly, I-I never said that! Besides, they couldn't o-only be ou-, mine. Pepa could have children with Felix or Bruno could.... Well Bruno, I don't know about Bruno, b-but I-."

"No, no easy love. I promise you 1000 children if that's what you want, I'll sacrifice myself." Agustin quipped, as he moved closer to Julieta from behind, putting his chin on her shoulder and hugging her closer, away from curious eyes.

"Don't b-be," Julieta's scolding was interrupted by a nibble on her ear. "W-who says I want children with y-you?" the brunette mewled again as Agustin flushed them together.

"Your mouth says no, but the rest of your body says yes, so I'll have to convince that little mouth of yours."

Agustin growled and put an arm around Julieta's mid riff as his other hand sprawled across the Lenght of her body to Raise up her dress enough to get to her slick sex.

The brunette sobbed quietly as she pressed her back into his chest while Dropping her head on his shoulder. "G-gus someone might see us," julieta said feebly.

"Should I stop then?" Agustin grunted.

"I'll kill you if you even think of stopping, this is my prize, you idiot." Julieta rasped as she put one of her hands behind her torturer head pulling at his hair while the other one, rested on top of the hand that was driven her crazy at the moment.

It was mortifying.

And that just made it better.

If someone had asked Julieta Madrigal before if she would had ever let a guy ever approach her and do these kinds of things to her before marriage, she would have said, "Never, that would never happen, I would look for a man incapable of thinking about those things, someone serious and courteous like me, leave those things to Pepa".

Agustin was serious and courteous, but he was also a wolf in sheep's clothing, ready to make anyone who was careless lose their minds, she was lucky to be his prey. No matter how much she denied it.

The good thing was she was his drug too and that thought made her so goddamn happy.

Agustin would agree with her, no women on earth would drive him nuts like the woman on his arms right now, she was pure magic, she was heaven and hell all at once and at this moment, she was been a brat.

"I-i, Gus please, i'm c-close." Julieta sobbed while bitting her lips.

"I don't know, my supposedly good girl was insulting me 2 seconds ago, besides, she said she didn't want to have children with me, that hurt me, Love," Agustin started to slowly remove his hand.

"No, no, no, no, no sorry, sorry, sorry, I'll be good." Julieta pleaded while scratching his hand.

"You'll be good and not a spoiled brat? Agustin hissed as he Grabbed one of her breasts  squeezing it, while his other hand pinched her clit.

the brunette's eyes rolled back in her head, she was torn between crying and cumming.

"yes, yes, yes, just please..." Julieta cried, arching her back.

"How many children do you want then, Conejita? I'll give you as many as you want." Agustin taunted her as he bit her neck.

"Come on, love, answer daddy." Agustin ordered as he pick up the pace.

That did it.

"Three, three, three! Sss oh fuc-." Julieta bucked againts his hand uncontrollably until she had no strength left, if it wasn't for her companion who was holding her with care, she would be on the floor.

"Good girl." the bespectacle gentleman kissed her sweetly on her cheek. "let's rest for a moment, Corazón."

[lewisbian]

hi! i've noticed you talk about astrology a lot and i know the basics but i wanted to know more about the sagittarius mercury tag you keep posting on lewis content if you don't mind?

anon - you didn't ask for a bible length post but i typed one out anyway. sorry! lol here you go.

on lewis hamilton's sagittarius mercury:

quick disclaimer: i don't use astrology as a rule book but as like, a tool that makes possibilities visible. if you have a sag mercury and this does not sound like you at all - there's many reasons why that could be! placements interact with each other and express themselves differently and this is how i see this particular placement in lewis, or at least in the part of himself that lewis shares with us.

skip to "on lewis + sag merc” if you don't wanna read the whole astrology part, although idk if it'll make sense without the explanation. up to you!

on mercury:

in mythology, mercury is the messenger. the one with the winged shoes who delivers messages for the gods. so in a birth chart, mercury represents how you communicate, how you express yourself, how you deliver messages. it also represents how you think, how you understand and process info. there’s stuff to be said about how lewis does this, but we're focusing on communication here.

on sagittarius:

now, to understand sagittarius there's a whole lot of things that need to be looked at. first, its element. it's a fire sign. fire of inspiration, of passion, of competition. fire that gives life just like it takes it away. second, its quadruplicity. sagittarius is a mutable sign. mutable signs are the most volatile, the most changing: they are signs that start when a season is ending, turning into the next (sag is fall->winter in the northern hemisphere). now think of these two combined: mutable fire. when i think mutable fire i think of a forest fire, something that grows and grows and spreads outwards. so what is sagittarius? expansiveness, larger than life, borderline mythic. something that reaches further, out of its own body, like the arrows of the centaur that represents the sign. and think of the centaur too: they asked sag if they wanted to be an animal or a human and sag said YES. everything. overarching. huge, not in a “shoves everyone away, there’s no space for anyone but me” way, but in an always inclusive “if i’m huge there’s space for everything inside me” way. think of the arrows: expansion, but with a goal, and mutable, a goal that might change. sag is ruled by jupiter, largest planet in the solar system. monumental. imposing.

on lewis hamilton + sag merc:

i said we are focusing on communication - we are - but let’s talk about thoughts and ideas and processing info very quickly.

this mindset that accepts and embraces growth, that always wants something larger, always wants to learn something new. lewis being interested in so so many different things, all of which are mentally stimulating to him, saying he knows if he dedicates himself to them the way he has to racing he can be the best at them too - a centaur that watches what’s around him curiously, finds what interests him, picks a target before shooting an arrow that’s an extension of himself, that reaches out where he can’t (also transparent capricornations, but that’s a conversation for another day). this mercury insight and attention to detail (remember mercury rules virgo) that’s taken outward and projected. these thoughts, these ideas, this acquired knowledge - all shared. lewis will dig in to find the root of the problem - all with the purpose of sharing it, making it visible, having everyone see it. think of his activism. outward, expanding, spreading out but again, inclusive, bringing people in. or he will find something to learn - piano, guitar, music making - and then share it with the world and say hey i’m not great at this but look how much i love it look how hard i’m trying. truly - fire sign passion and inspiration in learning shooting out like a beam of light.

now re: communication.

think about how lewis communicates for a second, think about his word choice, the figurative language. this flame of inspiration, this brightness that spreads outwards, this sagittarian expansiveness.

oh, he posts good morning videos three times a week. he logs on to give you positive energy and to tell you you're gonna have a great day. the way he speaks, nothing is mundane, no, everything is transcendent. a race, his time in mercedes, his fight for diversity: all journeys he goes on. his work with law roach is them shining bright to light up the way for others. it's not just that he wants to win, it's that the fire in him is brighter than ever. the spray painted sign he saw while stuck in traffic isn't just that, it's one of the many signs around him telling him not to give up. his boss says he needs to give him space to express himself, that he can't be put in a box. "i am but a vessel of light and love, i can be anything." this video where he talks about 2020 as a year where he discovered how to use his voice for something larger than him and than his sport, something that gave him a new purpose, and, "we're all shooting stars and we've gotta let people get in our slipstream." his whole conversation with kenneth nicholson in our table ep. 2 - divine flow, divine love, it's an art form what i'm doing. "you're all incredibly talented, and superstars in your own avenues."

lastly - the man who made maya angelou's still i rise into his life motto? just like moons and like suns / with the certainty of tides / just like hopes springing high / still i rise ??? i can't quote the whole poem here but like????

notice how everything is transcendent, larger than life. not only the words he uses to communicate - celestial bodies, light, natural elements - but also in the way he uses communication as a tool to try to move others, to try to change structures that are massive and seemingly sturdy, and also in the way he is talked about - the way he expresses himself too large to be contained. the relationship between communication and this outward expansive force is present literally all the time if you look at lewis. i've seen people call it his white girl social media presence, others his live laugh love antics, but eyeeee personally just call it him being in his 30s with a very visible sagittarius mercury.

[king-mico96]

The Girl I Never Met.

Why are we here, what is purpose, is there a reason for all of this madness and pain, and does fate/God exist? These tantalizing questions have plagued mankind's greatest thinkers for millennia and still have no answer. But enough jokes and philosophical malarkey, lets skip to the introductions.

Waddup losers, name's Liam. I'm 17 years old, I play guitar, and I'm a complete mental mess who hides his insecurities with dry humor and sarcasm. I know I probably sound like some angsty whiner, and I'd probably have to agree with you. Yeah, I mope around like a mental mess, but then berate myself for keeping myself trapped in this vicious cycle of self-hatred. Guess I'm complicated(Or stupid) like that.

I guess my problem is that I just feel like I'm sleepwalking my way through life, like a weary vagabond bereft of a purpose. I don't hate life or wish I was dead, but just wish I knew exactly what I was doing. I have no ambitions, no drive, and I have almost no passion. I just kinda drift through life without any destination in mind, like some sorta existential zombie. It's not necessarily depression, but imagine feeling like you don't really exist, and that you're just a phantom desperately trying his best to prove to himself that he exists.

This is the story of how all that changed. I don't know how to tell this story without sounding like a nutcase, but hey, ya can't enjoy life without having a few screws loose. 

At the behest of my mother, the despot who runs the tyrannical state that is our house, I trudged my way to the school dance. God do I hate these things! Not only can I not dance, but I ain't got a thing appealing about me, at least not that I can see anyway. As I approached the building, I could've sworn I saw a translucent deer waltz on into the building. Absolutely baffled, I ran faster into the building. I saw legions of mindless homosapiens shambling about in what seemed to be attempts at dancing. Eh, guess it was just my imagination. I usually don't hallucinate, but I wouldn't put it past my brain. Besides, a translucent deer? Yeah, that's just silly.

‘’Alone again’’ I thought to myself. I didn't want to go to this silly dance, but mom insisted. You don't argue with Mom, at least not mine(Unless you wanna get ripped a new one). Like every other dance before I'll probably just sit in the corner, wallowing in self pity and existential questions about my meaningless life while everyone else enjoys themselves. Oh well.

I make my way into the building and behold a room filled with lights, music, and dancing. I already feel like leaving. I greeted a few of my friends(Who miraculously managed to score dates!) and began making my way to my trusty corner.

Before I got there, I noticed a beautiful girl in a short party dress. You know the cliche of ''love at first sight’’ that you see in corny romcoms? Well, I think I may have scored a starring role in a romcom.

I made my over to a seat and sat next to her. I introduced myself as Liam and asked, ''So, what's a girl like you doing all alone in a place like this? Most folk all dressed to party would be dancing.’’ She looked away from the deep thought she seemed to be lost in and looked inquisitively at me, as if she were studying me. She looked away for a moment before looking back and replying, ''I did have a date, but I think he stood me up; I stood and waited for what felt like a year, but he just didn't show. So I guess I'm alone.’’

I thought for a minute before saying, ''Well, I guess that makes two of us. On the bright side, we can be alone together. Not as a couple or anything, but as two lonely folk.’’ She looked at me as if I told a bad joke before responding, ''I'd like to say that's the weirdest a thing a boy has said when asking me out, but I'd be lying. Definitely top ten, though.’’

''Heh, am I that obvious?’’ I asked while chuckling. She giggled a bit and said, ''It didn't even seem like you were trying. You're so transparent that I can see your kidneys, haha. My name's Laurie Daly by the way.’’ We spent about 30 minutes talking about our lives. I regaled her the stories of my childhood, such as building my first snowman with a friend I no longer talk to, getting my first dog, and visiting the shores of Myrtle Beach. I had also shared tales of woe, such as watching my uncle die of cancer, of my friend moving away, and of my family's financial struggles. She in turn shared with me stories from her childhood, like the time she decorated a Christmas tree with her grandmother, her first kiss at age 12, and of how proud her dad was when she no longer needed training wheels. ''Can't help but notice that you hardly talk about the negatives. Your life couldn't have been all sunshine and rainbows.'' I said. Looking away for a minute, she looked back to me and said ''Nobody likes to suffer, but while good days bring you Joy, bad ones give you experience. It's easy to focus on just one side or the other, but life is a collection of good and bad experiences. The good ones make you happy and teach you how to love, while the bad ones give you strength and teach you how to fight. You can let the bad experiences overtake you, but then you're blind to all the good around you. Life's just life, Liam. It's not really good or bad. It just is, y'know?''. Guess I can't argue with that. 

We chatted until we had almost nothing else to talk about before she finally asked, ''Well, since we're both alone, maybe we could pretend like we're here together and dance…you know, not as a couple, but as some lonely folk.'’

We began dancing for what felt like forever. Maybe it's because I hardly ever came to these things or had dates, but I felt like this was the best I'd felt in my whole life. She pulled me close and whispered in my ear, ''You know, they say lonely hearts are like halves, and when two halves meet, they become a whole.’’ As we moved to the rhythm of the song, I felt like I wanted nothing more than to hold her and stay in this moment in time forever, but all good things have to come to an end, right?

As the dance came to an end, she told me it was about time for her to return home. Not wanting her to go alone, I decided to walk with her. She didn't say much as we walked, but just looked off into space as if she were lost in thought.

The wind picked up and whipped her wavy blonde hair across her face. Seeing that she was probably cold, I removed my sweater and gave it to her. As we made our way to her door, she stopped. With tears in her eyes, she said, ''Liam, this was the greatest night of my life, and I appreciate that you stayed with me on the way home. I've been waiting so long for someone, but no one ever sees me. I... think I can finally go…’’

I was a little perplexed by this. I asked, ''Why, are you moving or something? If so, then I'll wait for you. I really like you, Laurie, and I'm willing to wait as long as I have to.’’ the tears fell even harder and she said, ''You just don't understand!’’. I grabbed her and held her close. I don't care what the issue is; If she's moving, I'll wait, if she's sick, I'll deal. Whatever it is, it won't be enough to drive me away. This has been the greatest night of my life, and I don't want it to end.

After about a minute of holding each other, she turned around and went inside. Before I turned to leave, I remembered that she had my sweater. I knocked on the door and waited. The door opened and a large man appeared. He looked at me inquisitively.

He asked, ''What do you want?’’ A little intimidated, I explained how I met his daughter and shyly asked for the sweater I gave his daughter. His eyes went wide before almost turning red with anger. ''Is this some kind of twisted joke?'’, he asked angrily. ''You couldn't have been with my daughter. She died in a car accident one year ago today.’’ Shocked, I said, ''That's impossible, I was just with her!’’ To which he responded ''She was waiting for her date to pick her up, when a drunk driver lost control of his car and...killed her…. I don't know who put you up to this and I don't care, now go away!’’ And with that, he slammed the door in my face.

I began walking, unsure of what to make of what I heard. I just walked in the midst of the darkness, with only the light emanating from the moon to guide my path. Hearing a rustling sound, I turned to see the translucent deer again. Unlike earlier, it wasn't running away, but was facing me directly. I swear, it looked me dead in the eyes, almost like it was peering into my very soul. It turned from me and made it's way into the woods. I watched until it vanished, lost to the shadows of the woods. It's translucent glow growing dimmer and dimmer until there was nothing.

I eventually stumbled into the cemetery. I wasn't willfully walking, but my steps were being guided by a strange force. I was compelled to walk, unsure of what else to do  I kept walking until I finally saw my sweater. It was peacefully resting on a grave.

I grabbed my sweater and looked reluctantly at the grave. The name carved on the stone was... Laurie Daly. 

So yeah, turns out the world's a stranger place than I thought it was...or maybe I'm just crazy. I've been cycling through my screwed up noggin in an attempt to make sense of  this, and to find a rational explanation. No matter how hard I try, I just can't find any explanation other than my fabulous brain finally breaking. Or maybe I really fell in love with a ghost… after meeting Laurie, I know now that I'm not a ghost, or a phantom. I let myself get so lost that I forgot the little boy who dreamt of breaking through the heavens and reaching the stars, of the boy who wholeheartedly believed that the angels loved him, who saw the silver lining in every cloud, and of the boy who had a glimmer of hope in his eye when he looked out at the world. Laurie was a ghost, but she was so much fuller and fulfilled than me. If an honest to God ghost can find such contentment and meaning in life, then maybe I can too.