#I didn’t improve tha most this year but ITS OKAY. you know how it goes

[ganonboars]

Art summary for 2023.. i may have mental issues

(The guys in June and July belong to @eraofthirteen)

[dramarising-replacement]

And now, a better version of http://dramarising.com/post/171472034768/and-with-this-announcement-my-annoyance-with-frs now that I’m not so livid and can jot my thoughts down properly.

  So! Let’s get started here, this is just my opinion, and if you like how FR is currently,  good for you! But for me, I’m done with how mediocre the site is (to me and others I know), and this is how I personally think the site could improve greatly. Expect comparisons to both Lioden and Tattered Weave, as they’re both I think shining examples of how to do good in the pet site world.

  Drama Admin, if you could add a read more here, that’d be great!

  First off, the Coli: It’s…. a game, technically? I honestly think as a basic feature, the coli is fine. It’s a bit boring but some people have fun. The issue however is how the coli is deeply rooted as being THE ONLY good, consistent source of treasure. This is honestly a bad thing I feel for multiple reasons, the major one being accessibility. If you have issues with your hands like carpal tunnel, it’s already very very hard to go through the motions for hours (Yes I know, it doesn’t always take hours). But hey, we have keyboard controls now, right? Right. It’s a step in the right direction, but the issue here is you… you can’t go to the next battle with keyboard controls. Or do the Captchas, I assume. This pretty much makes the keyboard controls a waste. And speaking of captchas, that is where the main problem with coli accessibility now lies. There’s already many people saying the captchas are extremely hard if you are visually impaired. This wouldn’t be too bad of an issue if they happened less often, but it’s what, every 5 battles? For those who REALLY coli, that’s nothing! It’s both a nuisance and a hindrance, to those with or without disabilities.

  How would I improve the coli? First off: make it FUN. Make it an actual game! Add more variance to how enemies fight, and what we can do with our dragons! One suggestion I liked was making it more like Pokemon. The second thing would be making it easily accessible to anyone. Proper keyboard controls, the option for audio captchas, etc. Please FR, at the very least make there be different options for the captcha. Along with that, currently the most viable option for any coli team, the only thing that makes it worthwhile to earn treasure and level dragons, is eliminate- which has its own problems (Please fix the goddamn drop rate for it already- newsflash, when you add more rares to a venue, the chance of getting a specific rare goes down. I know, shocking.) Adding other viable options besides eliminate, even something as simple as a magic based eliminate or maybe elemental stones that are as strong, would be something that could be added to freshen the coli up just a bit without changing it drastically. Not only this, but it could make PVP something people actually want to do! Encouraging PVP could be a lot of fun, especially if rewards come from it. Let people be creative with their sets so we can see more than eliminate for every coli-trained dragon!

  Fairgrounds: Alright, this is the big thing I’ll be complaining about. Fairgrounds, where to start…..

  Okay, the main thing: we need more games, FR! It’s been YEARS since we’ve had any additions other than more jigsaw puzzles! Games are really important, especially since FR’s games can give treasure. If the fairgrounds was actually fun, we wouldn’t need to be so reliant on the coli, as we’d have two major ways to earn treasure.

  This will get flak, I know, but I honestly think it’d be for the best if the 75k limit was removed. “But then you could get millions!” Exactly! A few dedicated people can too. There’s no limit on training dragons in the coli, or exalting, why should there be a limit to playing a minigame? The limit makes the fairgrounds even more useless, since there’s no point in playing once that limit is reached.

  So, fairgrounds: It needs to update its games and fix any bugs in them. Add the option for choosing jigsaw puzzle perhaps. Make it a valid option of income.

  If there were to be more games, i’d also like to suggest: Solitaire (TW added this, it’s one of the best games there) as it is actually a lot of fun to play and earn treasure with, maybe chess or checkers, even a flappy bird clone could be nice. Even taking a look at some of the popular neopets games from back in the day could give some inspiration- a snake game, something akin to meerca chase, would be a nice addition- A friend of mine used to love Hassee Bounce and Ice Cream Machine as well, which both seem like fun games! Even something like breakout? Lots of fun potential with tha, you could do anything from powerups to levels of difficulty with more balls to keep track of.Ultimately though, having a variety of games would make the fairgrounds so much better- not everyone will like every game, but having a variety of options you are more likely to hit something nearly everyone enjoys.

  Lioden’s system of giving item rewards for its minigames could also be a fun thing to consider with FR too. No genescrolls or the like, but chests could be a great incentive to play. Hey, even festival currency!

  Festivals: I didn’t really mention them in my mega rant, but I think it’s important to say something about them. Let’s be honest. The festivals are a boring event now where it feels like nothing exciting happens. They need to be spruced up! The current system of gathering hoping for currency and then, once again, going to coli or wait for ages in baldwin is just plain boring. Shouldn’t festivals be fun? A celebration of the flight?

  In-game events tied in with festivals could be great. Some kind of quest, maybe? They would give festival currency and also provide lore! Looking at Lioden mostly for this, but if you aren’t familiar, Lioden has monthly events. These last the entire month. Midway through, an event NPC appears, and everyday you do quests with them in order to gain lores and get story. It’s a lot of fun and a great incentive to keep playing! FR having a feature similar to this would be AMAZING. It provides lore, makes festivals fun, and gives potential options to get event currency if Baldwin or the coli isn’t an option for you. Players already do stuff like this every month to try and make festivals fun. They’ve come up with some great headcanoned lore. Why not give them the opportunity to see these things become a canonical event? In general actually, the Lore could be improved greatly. FR’s base lore is great, I love it! But having more lore events every few months would be a blessing, rather than this once in a blue moon wave of new information. (Also, maybe it shouldn’t happen right during a flight’s festival, hm?) I was not around for when the Beastclans were introduced, but more events like that would create new content for old and new players alike to enjoy, and keep people playing. Taking from Tattered Weave here, along with Lioden’s monthly events. This wouldn’t need to happen every month, but perhaps bi-monthly lore events could be fun? From information about the NPCs at the trading post (Tell us about Tomo! About Swipp and Baldwin, and Pinkerton and Crim! We know nothing about them!) to lore about flights and dragons, this could be a lot of fun and keep players returning.  So much of the playerbase of FR is in it for the lore, and it’s probably one of the biggest selling points. Adding more of it would be great! Even the return of Q&As could be great, that at least gives SOME kind of content and answers player’s questions. The suggestions forum. Alright, this is the big thing for me. I’m sure everyone here is familiar with the suggestions forum and its reputation. I’m not here to talk about that, but instead: FR’s admins need to listen to suggestions. They need to at least acknowledge they are being read. Lioden and Tattered Weave both very consistently listen to user suggestions. People wanted lesbian lionesses in Lioden’s february event as an encounter? A week later, lesbian lionesses were added! People wanted some recolors of apparel in Tattered Weave? It took a few months, but they got added! Listening to popular suggestions from users shows admins care, that they listen to their player base, and it gives satisfaction to the players. Seeing a suggestion you recognize become a real thing is amazing.   So, the big suggestions that FR should REALLY be at least considering at this point: Pose change scrolls, the ability to rearrange battle stones (although this might be happening in the coli rewrite), layering skins and accents, uses for perma babies from skins and accents to the coli, locking awakened familiars in the bestiary, and lair tabs. All of these things range from creating fun content, to quality of life improvements, which would surely improve the site somehow. These final thoughts aren’t completely related to any one topic, but I think I’ve gotten my major gripes across with the above paragraphs.

FR, think of accessibility. Before doing a site-wide unannounced forum revamp, don’t use blinding colors. Don’t do captchas many people can’t properly see. Think of lore, how players want more and more often, and it’s one of the appealing things through the game. Think of actual new content! We don’t need more cluttered apparel sets and premium boons, we need new games and features! Just…. Flight Rising, you can do so so much better. You’re more than 5 years old. It’s time for some major changes I think, or your playerbase is simply going to become smaller and smaller on a site stale from lack of worthwhile updates and nothing to do without waiting a month. Be transparent. Host forums asking for feedback on certain topics. Tattered Weave does it with great success, Lioden does polls at the very least! Ask the players “Hey, do you want a forum revamp?”. Acknowledge bugs happen instead of deleting threads when people suggest you to fix rampant bugs. Looking at you, blocked users could still send friend requests issue! Maybe act less like robots. Respond to ‘Contact Us’ messages so players aren’t left in the dark! The admins are so important for the site. Lioden and Tattered Weave’s are both successful with being friendly with players and joking around with them, and listening to what they want. Why can’t Flight Rising at least try to be like this?

And for the love of god add a new breed, September of 2016 is too long a wait.

[hales-bellls]

Touch Base

Figured I'd do a check in with my grief work in hopes that someone in a similar set of circumstances can benefit from it.

Back story: I was widowed last July, I turn 30 in a few weeks and I'm on a journey of learning how to do this "self-love" crap.

Immediately post-accident, I was kept busy with all the "final affairs". Phone calls, paperwork, trips to the DMV, bank, city hall; notarize this, copy that, mail this, review that. After a few months, things started to settle. There wasn't much left on the to-do list, work started to level out again; but we all know what happens when the quiet sets in. I tried dating again, what a joke that was. You think I was ready for vulnerability? Ha. So off to therapy I went. Nothing like the death of a spouse and being a nurse in a pandemic to set the tone for a first appointment.

First few sessions were just information sharing. I thought myself an average emotional nutcase but I assumed she'd need the big picture in order to help me dig into my BS. I started to see a theme come out of me as the sessions went on. I'm sure it's something common, but the weight of it kind of slapped me in the face. I just want to be happy but I have no idea what that means.  I thought by the time I turn 30 I'd have a few things under my belt, one of them being knowing what I want and how to go after them. To find out after all this time just how clueless I am at what makes me happy is extremely disappointing. Nonetheless, I've decided on a path for my next phase of life. Lord knows I've got my work cut out for me.

Step 1: Evaluate the situation.

As every research study or quality improvement project starts, one has to assess where they're currently at. In my eyes, I have a cool job, an amazing set of family and friends, a decent house and 3 doggos that keep said house full of love. I'm set. Sure. I've got this.  I'mmmmmm happy. Yup. Happy. Sure, the recent loss of my spouse is painting everything in shades of gray, but I have all the things in my life to be okay. So why am I not okay? Therapy helped connect some dots. Happiness isn't a checklist. Happiness isn't a country you move to and set up shop. Life is a winding road up a mountain side with potholes where you're trying to drive with a muddy windshield and your wipers are old and falling apart. Happiness is what happens when you switch out the wipers and clean the windshield, get heavy duty tires for the potholes and enjoy the view off the mountain side. Happiness is the habits you do on a daily basis and the mindset you nurture through all the difficult times you face.  

So far in my winding road of life, I've been purely reactionary. If I give people everything they could ever want, then they'd love me and I'd be happy.  However, all this did was lead me into unhealthy relationships with broken people who just want someone on their team. I'd give all of myself to the "team" thinking they would appreciate my sacrifice and reciprocate. Hello codependent, thy name is yours truly. I was always left the only person on that team. For my next chapter of life, I can't better myself without acknowledging the truth of my past relationships. I have to heal my wounds, develop healthier views of love and become whole myself before I can be with someone else. I owe it to my future relationships to be the best me I can be. However, in order to do that, I have to switch from being reactive to proactive. And what a habit to break when you've had 30 years of practice.  I thought if I did all the things I'm supposed to do, I'll be happy. I was a good girl in high school. I went to college and got a degree. I bought a big house. I was reactive to society's checklist of "Things to Get to Be Happy".  So why is it not working? Let's flip back to my original statement of "Happiness is a mindset and your daily habits."

My job is a lot. A lot physically, a lot emotionally. It's heavy, it's dark, it's not everyone's cup of tea. I'm a trauma ICU nurse at a major Midwest hospital. If you're obliterated in a car wreck, lit up by a Glock, or elderly on a ladder trying to clean out your gutters; there's a good chance you woke up in my unit to my lovely face.  My job is to take care of people in their worst nightmare.  However, my job is inspirational. I work alongside some the strongest people I'll ever meet. They're people who are always in search of bettering our care, wanting the best for our patients, and always striving for new ways to save lives. I learn new things every day, I'm challenged and I'm tried and I'm certainly never bored. I get daily reminders of how important it is to value the time we have.  There's no place else I'd rather be.  Happiness is a mindset that you have to nurture daily, so I started practicing.  I practiced at my place of employment, but I also found the urge to practice at my place of rest.

My house was one of the first things I tackled post-accident. I'm sure it was my spirit trying to protect me against the tsunami of grief that was heading my way but I had this huge surge of energy in the weeks following his death. Sunrise to sunset I was either scrubbing, sorting, painting, shopping, reorganizing, trashing; the list goes on. I painted walls bright colors, I hung pictures that made me laugh, I threw away stuff that sat in boxes since we moved in a few years ago. I couldn't stop. I noticed something though. I felt…peace.  I felt joy even. Whenever I enter my bedroom to the bright yellow wall behind my bed, I can't help but smile whenever I see it. When I see the renaissance paintings of my three pups, my Star Wars art in my living room, or my quirky plants in my window sills, I feel joy.  I never understood the value of home décor, I thought it was frivolous and a waste of money.  For the first time in a long time however, my house was my haven. It was easier to find the desire to clean because I was motivated to maintain the sanctuary I built. I felt joy putting in the work of the daily house scrub because it was mine. I felt joy knowing my house is where my family can gather on holidays and where people can crash when they need an escape.  It's something I've built for myself, and a first major step in cultivating the happiness I've been seeking my whole life thus far.

Step 2: Nixing the Nay's.

So, you've evaluated your situation. Time to get rid of what's no longer serving you. Seems simple right? Just take out the trash, no biggie. I'm not just talking about stuff though. There's a meme going around that says something like, "If it doesn't bring me joy, money, or orgasms; I want nothing to do with it." It usually gives everyone a superficial chuckle, but think about it. How much stuff do we carry around with us in our day to day life just because it's uncomfortable to change? Jobs, relationships, thoughts, feelings, habits; everyone at some point has held on to these way past their expiration date because its uncomfortable to change them.  For me, it was my thoughts. I've struggled forever with negative self-talk because I thought it was normal. I thought those thoughts were part of being a human being. I didn't know it could be different. Therapy swoops in again, showing me that inner monologues are actually reactionary habits that we learned as a child and that with active attention paid to them, one can change the darkness the thoughts bring.  It still seems unbelievable how I've been given the power to change something that seems so engrained in my DNA. This definitely has become a spiritual mountain to climb. These thoughts have to go, though. They're holding me back from being my most fabulous self, and I deserve better. SO DO YOU. Nix the nays, no matter what form they take.  

Step 3: Nourish the Yay's.

So, this one was confusing for me. It's easy to acknowledge what makes you feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is a very clear feeling, it's very distinguishable from a resting state. Joy, however, can take many forms. Of course, joy is clear when you're on a beach with a margarita. It's clear when you're with people you love, when you're laughing, etc. I'm talking about the daily habit of joy though. Doing the dishes doesn't bring joy. Going to the DMV doesn't bring joy. Having dog drool land on your face as your alarm clock at 0500 does not bring joy. So someone like me, someone currently in a low part of life, finds herself scratching her head at this whole joy concept. I always filed it away under "do the hard stuff now, then you'll get a margarita on the beach in a few years. That'll top me off for another few years of suffering." This can't be it though. Life can't be army-crawling through fields of glass and lemon juice in hopes of making it to an all-inclusive once every few years. I had some work to do.

I had done some of the work already through reorganizing/decorating my house post-accident. The yellow in my master bedroom, the renaissance paintings of my dogs both make me laugh aloud with joy whenever I see them. This spills over into my daily life too, giving me the rule while I'm shopping that if it doesn't make me feel like the yellow wall or the dog paintings, it ain't worth having it (thank you, Marie Kondo). Overall, making one's house a place of peace and spiritual harmony is a good place to start in finding daily joy.

Another thing that brings me joy I've discovered in the recent years has been cultivating a green thumb. At the beginning of lockdown, I got my first plant; a Fiddle-Leaf Fig I named Janet. She was a few inches tall and after some research, I learned she's going to be quite high-maintenance. However, with society closed down for the foreseeable future, what else was I going to do with my time? So here we went, finding the right window, working out the right watering schedule etc. When I woke up one morning and found a little green leaf sprouting off her stalk, it was like Christmas. Something so silly made me feel so proud. I made a living thing feel like they could grow, and I needed more of that. Some people do heroin, I do plants. A high is a high is a high, eh? Janet is now as tall as me in a pot on the floor with leaves as big as my dog. I've got a whole wall of windows in my dining room full of different plants with different routines, all with new growth and new rushes for me to enjoy. I've even started planting things outside.  Sure, plants aren't for everyone. The point is that you have to try new things. If they make you feel like that little leaf made me feel, you have to keep doing it. If that little leaf didn't have me doing cartwheels, I'm sure the motivation would have gone right out the window and Janet would have been laid to rest in my trash can after some time.

Probably one of the most earth-shattering discoveries I've found is one I thought I'd never do.  Fitness was not something cherished in my house growing up. I was a naturally thin lass who wasn't into sports, so I didn't have a need to maintain a frame on the daily anyway. Once I hit 25 and discovered existential dread, the gut started to rear its ugly head. I played it off for a few years, tried the whole "body positivity" thing but it was a ploy. I could blame it on the accident, sure, but my weight gain was from something much deeper than that. I just wasn't "woke" enough to see it yet.  In this same timeline, my best friend gets engaged and starts "sweating for the wedding". Being that I'm a regular at her and her fiancé's dinner table, I often got the "you should totally go to this gym with us!" After several months of eye rolls and lame excuses, I caved. I figured if I just go once, they'll leave me alone about it. Something strange happened though. After the workout I felt…good?  I felt motivated? I went home and did several chores my depression had been putting off? And I did them to…music? What? Who am I? What is this? Why did Britney Spears leave us? I digress. In the name of joy research, I had to try this workout thing again to make sure it wasn't a fluke. It wasn't. I started going twice a week, and I found myself dancing and slaying my to-do list after every session.  I found myself sleeping better. I found myself saying, "I should probably start going more days throughout the week so I can be more productive."  Even in therapy, I found myself struggling to find things to share with my therapist because overall, I felt better. It wasn't until a family member I was sharing this all with dug deep and asked me what I think is different this time. In my 29 years, I had tried several gyms with all different set ups, all of them lastin the one "free-trial" session then I was able to talk myself out of needing to continue so I could get back on my couch.  So, what was different this time?  Therapy once again put on its cape and responded to my bat signal.  I was given the tools to see the problem for what it was: weight gain was a symptom, not the problem.  It was a symptom among many others like it of how I felt about myself.  I got in a habit over the years of putting myself at the bottom of my priority list. There was always a person, place or situation that was more worthy of my attention/energy.  Now that I'm in a place in my life where I can/want to focus on myself, I can see just how poorly I was doing so.  I think the motivation to go to the gym is different this time because I changed the goal the gym was helping me achieve. Before, the gym was always discouraging because everyone else there was in shape, knew what they were doing, had matching fancy workout clothes etc. I always felt out of place or like I was being judged. The gym I'm going to now has people of all shapes and sizes, the staff's goal is to just get you in the door and they are so motivated to make you succeed all while loving you along the way. Most importantly, I was going to the gym because of how it made me FEEL afterwards. I wasn't going to get thin, squat "X" amount of lbs, or find my next beau; I was going so afterwards I could bask in my glory and endorphins. The performance pressure was gone and it completely changed the game. I stumbled upon a "Yay" and I nourished it.

I know I still have a long way to go in my spiritual journey. I hope that what I'm doing can give others in similar circumstances some direction, insight, and/or hope to better and brighter things. It's always better knowing you're not alone. Take care of yourself. Go to therapy if you can. Most importantly, start where you are. Find your right "window" and "watering routine" and watch the new leaf grow on your stalk. You deserve it.