#I did warn everyone they might not be quite true to character tho so ;p

[unhingedselfships]

Forget-me-not for Kiryu? 👀 (Lol I couldn’t help but notice one of ur f/os shares a given name with mine)

I noticed that too! Kaz solidarity? Lol (I wonder if it's the same kanji too, I'll have to look sometime)

(update note, while working on this, I got distracted and looked it up, they do not. They share the “一/kazu” character meaning “ lone” but Kiryu’s second character is “馬/ma” for horse while Asougi’s is “真/ma” for truth. Neat!)

Forget-me-not– Share a cherished memory you have about s/i

Looking at him, one might think Kiryu didn't particularly like the question. His expression was on the severe side of stoic, and his brow furrowed.

"His face is just like that", she chimes in from the background, "don't worry too much about it."

His eyes narrow further, but his lips twitch just slightly, refusing to commit to smiling at her teasing. 

With a deep (long suffering) sigh, the planes of his face relax and his shoulders drop. 

"Once, she said to me 'is it terrible a part of me hopes none of these kids ever get adopted? I mean I do, of course! But I don't' and I didn't really understand what she meant. I guess at the time, assumed she was worried about them getting bad parents or something. I know I didn't say much and just let it go."

He shifts, leaning forward to grab his drink off the table before resettling. He swirled the glass before taking a sip, then tilted his head back. Something almost nostalgic passing over his face.

"About a week later, I think I understood what she was getting at. I'd had to go out to handle something, and she'd stayed with the kids. It was late and the lights were still on. I thought maybe she'd had trouble with them, and honestly, I didn't really want to deal with it. I was tired. But I couldn't just leave her to deal with it alone."

He smiles gently, lost to the memory. 

"It was quiet. The TV was on but it was faint. I get to the sitting room, and there they all were. Blankets and pillows strewn around the room, and just," a barely there laugh, "this pile of kids. And her, smack in the middle of it, half buried under them."

"I think I got it then. She was attached. She wanted the kids to find happy families, but she also didn't want to lose any of them."

Glancing over the back of the chair, looking at the woman fussing about the other room, he smiles just a bit more.

"She loves. Deeply and completely."

[robinofinashiro]

request: “yandere alphabet Bakugou Katsuki”

request status: open

pairing: yandere! bakugou katsuki x fem! reader 

A - Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

》 Bakugou is based off actions, not words. THAT’S NOT TO SAY THAT HE WOULDN’T LOVE YOU VERBALLY BUT he would prefer to show you rather than speak it. 

B - Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

》 this is Bakugou we’re talking about, he already does the most in a non-yandere situation so imagine for the love of his life? he’d go to the ends of the world for and he’d do it the minute they asked. 

C - Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

》 okay so logically speaking, you’re probably going to go against him when you first get napped so yeah, he’d make sure you’d know that you’re his forever and he’d 100% mock the death of a loved one to make sure you got the point. YOU. ARE. NOT. LEAVING. HIM.

D - Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

》 affection? like previously mentioned, he is more actions than words so he will force you to cuddle with him if he had a hard day at work. kisses after work are a thing he makes you do too. forced physical affection is a big one with him.

E - Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

》 once he’s realized that he cracked you enough, enough to the point where you’ve developed stockholm syndrome, that’s probably the breaking and vulnerable point. he’ll lay all his thoughts, past, future plans, and anything else to you. i mean, it’s not like you’re going anywhere. 

F - Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

》 Bakugou is PISSED. especially if you’re doing it after months of being kidnapped. he doesn’t understand why? you literally have the best life. you’re clothed, fed, pampered every second that you’re with him so why are you being such an ass? 

G - Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

》 I can imagine there are a few yandere MHA characters that would think of this as a game. Bakugou is not one of those. you’re his. whether you like it or not and if he sees that you’re trying to escape, he will punish you for doing that and god damn it, that aint the move.  

H - Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

》 either punishment after they’ve broke a rule of his or right when he first kidnaps them. both situations are very very bad and as a darling, don’t ever try to experience those situations again. it wouldn’t end up being a good thing for you. 

I - Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

》 white fence house with kids. basically being a housewife. oh, you were thinking of becoming a hero? yeah, okay! let’s keep thinking that and for a while, you will but then you suddenly end up pregnant bc the condom broke! whoopsie! 

J - Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

》 VERY EASILY. if the two of you somehow leave the house together and he sees you talking to man, oh pal, you’re in for it. it doesn’t matter if you were just talking to a poor salesperson at the grocery store, he’ll whisper a warning that if you ever pull that shit again, your privileges are taken away. 

K - Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

》 he’s very affectionate. like an arm around your waist at the store and peck on the cheek if he sees someone is staring at you. it becomes doubled or even tripled at home. he’s constantly cuddling, kissing, or holding you.  

L - Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

》 um, he’ll court you for a bet. go all out. buy you flowers, chocolates, a very expensive gift an anniversary, and all that jazz. he’ll make sure that you feel loved very early on in the relationship. 

M - Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

》 yes and no. yes because he gets very easily jealous and no because he has a reputation to uphold. he’s King Explosion Murder. he doesn’t do that fluffy shit willingly in public. 

N - Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

》depending on what you did, it could range from a simple locked in your room for a few hours to you’re not eating unless he remembers and when he does, he’ll give you the bare minimum. 

O - Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

》 like previously mentioned, it depends. he won’t let you have any cell phone or phone privileges. he will try to keep you as healthy as possible so hospital, dentist, vision appointments are a thing but he won’t take you to the mall or visit family. you do get to watch TV tho!! 

P - Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

》 ironically, very patient with his darling. he’ll try to rationalize the things you’re first doing when he kidnaps you but after a while, if you’re still doing shit to piss him off, he’ll get irritated very quickly. 

Q - Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

》 HAAAAA. yeah right. whatever the case is, he won’t. if you died, he’d go right with you. if you leave or successfully escape, he’ll look for you until the day he dies or he finds you. you aren’t escaping him that easily. 

R - Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

》 yes and no. at first, he recognizes that his emotions towards you are not healthy and will try to step away from you but once he realizes that he can’t live without you, he’ll come to accept the emotions. 

S - Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

》 probably his past with Deku and his relationship with his mom. whichever side eats him up the most is probably the reason but it’s probably both tho. he won’t ever fully forgive what he did and said to Deku as a child and his very off relationship with mom will just seal the deal. 

T - Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

》 at first, hella shitty. he’ll sit and realize that he’s the reason why you’re so upset but after a while, he starts caring less. if he sees you crying/screaming, he’ll leave you alone for a few hours but come and get you a bit later. if you’re isolating yourself intentionally, he’ll show you what true isolation is. he won’t have you misbehaving in such a way. 

U -Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

》 probably not. he’s very much the stereotypical yandere. if anything, he’ll probably give you a few hours outside with him. he can’t have you going sick bc you aren’t outside. other than that, nope, he’s the classic yandere.  

V - Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

》 pregnancy or anything that has to do with your health. that’s the best time to tell someone about the situation and RUN. 

W - Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

》 fuck no baby. he might be cruel and irrational but he wouldn’t ever physically hurt them. he has to keep you the precious darling you are and how can he do that when you’re hurt, bruised, and broken? he’s more of a psychological, ‘I’ll fuck with your brain and mental health’ person. 

X - Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

》 he’ll do the most in the very beginning. he’ll become a simp. a huge simp. the good thing in all of that is that he’s very secretive with it so he can do it without really anyone realizing it. he’ll shower you in compliments and gifts. do not test this man. 

Y - Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

》 probably a few months. he doesn’t wait too long though. I think the thing that keeps him back a bit is the fact that he knows his feelings aren’t okay. those aren’t normal emotions and he will sit back and think of the actions that come with becoming a yandere. so give or take, he’ll keep himself back for roughly four-ish months. 

Z - Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

》 mentally yes, physically no. he’s all about the psychology of it all. if he can break your mental health and can realize that you’re on the verge of snapping and becoming his perfect darling, he’ll try his hardest to break you. like previously mentioned, he can’t physically bring himself to hurt you. he gets upset at himself and that’s something nobody wants to deal with. 

[aprilfayelikes]

So I’m reading TGCF... (part 2)

Welcome to the second part of my TGCF readthrough. This is my first time reading Heaven Official’s Blessing and since I find MXTX’s storytelling very fascinating, I figured, I might as well blog my way through it. I don’t know if it’s gonna be anything interesting, and I’m not used to composing coherent thoughts in English, so please don’t be mean. If it’s uninteresting, just scroll through. *WARNING: Really spoilery and will definitely be more incoherent than the last one, ‘cause I’m writing this while reading, so these are basically just random thoughts or me trying to guess the plot:)

Stick around if you’ve already read the book from chapter 32 to chapter 42.

Chapter 32

(Xie Lian is called back to the Heavenly Court. We meet the crown prince of Yong’An and the Heavenly Emperor, Jun Wu. They start to discuss what happened at the Banyue Pass, and turns out that they know about Hua Cheng.) - I really like how the word ‘awkward’ is missing from Xie Lian’s dictionary XD - But I still find the heavenly parts quite boring. I’m guessing the info dumps will pay off in the later chapters, but for now... I can’t remember a single name, na-ah.... - ‘The spotlight, it seemed, was on him’. MXTX knows how to end chapters to make you want more, that’s for sure.

Chapter 33

(General Pei tries to blame everything on Hua Cheng then on the Guoshi of Banyue. Literally on anyone. But fortunately, Pei Junior admits his wrongdoings.   The crown prince of Yong’An sleeps through the meeting.) - And here comes even more info on General Pei, so I’m thinking he continues to be an important character. I don’t like him. - Xie Lian’s cultivation method demands purity of the body and the mind...? Hm... that’s unfortunate in a danmei. Or so to say, makes things interesting:D - Well, Pei Junior admitting everything was unexpected...

Chapter 34

(Jun Wu talks privately with Xie Lian and sends him on a mission to save a heavenly official the identity of whom they don’t know yet. The mission is to sneak into the Ghost Realm. Lord Wind Master partners up with Xie Lian) - ‘It may no longer be appropriate for you to investigate this case, so come, let me tell you everything about it... Also, it’s okay if you are friends with Hua Cheng, just be careful.’ Jun Wu acts all fatherly, but that’s just strange. Is he a good guy? Or am I just suspicious about anyone and everyone now?? (NHS and JGY ruined me)  - Whaaat?! That’s cool~ I think I like the Wind Master! He disguised himself as a woman, because he looked cute:D Well done on representation:D I want to know more about them. - Also Xie Lian cannot get himself to enter his new palace is sad :(

Chapter 35

(The two follows a group of female ghosts to sneak into the Ghost Market, which is a strange and creepy place. They soon get separated, when the Wind Master gets pulled away by the female ghosts and Xie Lian gets assaulted by a very dead prostitute.) - This chapter comments on gender norms and biases and does it so effortlessly that I have to raise my hat to MXTX. So the Wind Master can appear as a woman, because he was often depicted standing next to his brother and somewhere, somehow people started to worship him as a woman, since a woman is looking better next to a man (’handsome and beautiful make a pair’). In the same style, people started to worship Ling Wen as a man, because a lady cannot be a civil god. It is a ridiculous concept, but tells tales about the prejudices in people’s mind.  - It’s a shame, she couldn’t convince Xie Lian to cross-dress, tho :P - Ghost market! This is fun~ (That scene of a boar cutting up a wiggling human leg... chef’s kiss. This is exactly the weird and disturbing shit I’m here for. And of course I’m reading this at 10PM) - Pft... can’t get erect X”””DDD I can’t with this guy, really. Xie Lian has no shame at all:D

Chapter 36

(Xie Lian enters the Gambler’s Den, where he meets up with the Wind Master. The Ghost King, Hua Cheng also plays that night. When a father wants to pay with the life of his daughter another person pops up: the crown prince of Yong’An. The naive prince tries to stop the unjust betting, but gets defeated by Hua Cheng. The Ghost King offers him as a prize to anyone, who wins against him. So naturally Xie Lian tries his best...) - Hua Cheng is such a badass! Also that martial god he decorated the ceiling with is kinda cute, as well... but if anyone dies, that would be him. - That reveal made my heart race... We finally got to see him in his true form! - Xie Lian’s legendary bad luck enters the chatXD

Chapter 37

(Hua Cheng says Xia Lian’s dicing form is bad, and he starts tutoring him in front of the whole crowd. He also asks for a prize in case Xie Lian would lose. Our protag offers a half-eaten bun. He tutors him until Xie Lian wins.) - Okay, the flirting is INTENSE! in this one >///< I love them. Also... A half-eaten bun? Xie Lian, save the poor guy some face and at least offer your left hand (or your undying devotionXD) as a bet:D 

Chapter 38

(Since Xie Lian lost a bunch before winning, Hua Cheng still asks for the bun, and eats it. Thus the crown prince of Yong’An, Qianqiu gets saved. But as they roam the city, Xie Lian sees a familiar figure) - AND HE ACTUALLY EATS THE BUN! I can’tX”””””DDDD - I like this Qianqiu guy, he’s cute. Not very useful, but adorable. - Oh! Could this be the kid, with the human face disease?! Another one of those cruel chapter endings.

Chapter 39

(Xie Lian notices the boy with the human face disease and starts to chase him, while Qianqiu gets into a fight, so they get separated again. Xie Lian loses the boy, and gets into trouble, but the Waning Moon Officer gets there just in time. This ghost officer works for Hua Cheng. He tells Xie Lian, that the Ghost King wants to see him, then escorts him to the Paradise Manor) - Yes, it’s him! The kid, with the human face disease.   - Meet up in three days??  Not one or two hours but THREE DAYS? What are you planning to do for three days in the ghost realm? Also why exactly did we bring the other two along if we’re ditching them all the time, huh?! Well, goodbye cute heavenly officials. We’ll see each other in THREE DAYS. - Now I get it. We needed some space for Hua Cheng and Xie Lian to be able to meet. 

Chapter 40

(And they speak and its cute. Hua Cheng offers to help searching for the boy. His officer finds him immediately. They interrogate him then take him in)   - Let me note that Hua Cheng is really refreshing as ‘the love interest’ (or very good friend for now). Yes, he’s secretive and mysterious, but he’s willing to talk about himself, not restricting the protagonist, not being violent, helping out but not sheltering him, has a very distinct worldview, and is not scared to be emotional. Also he’s snarky and easily amused and makes fun of people, while being a badass all along. What’s there not to love.

Chapter 41

(Hua Cheng has to leave because his sword warns him of trouble. Meanwhile Xie Lian gets suspicious on the Waning Moon Officer, and on Hua Cheng, as well. He finds a room that only opens if you throw two sixes with dice, so he obviously can’t get into. Then Hua Cheng gets back to the Manor and shows Xie Lian his armory, and I’m in love.) - A bit of sneaking around is fun:) - That’s a very peculiar sword Hua Cheng has. Hm... I have my theories about the sword :) - Also about the Waning Moon Officer and his ‘tatoo’. - What’s with all of these masks, tho. (the officer, the white-clothed calamity, the people on the street....) - Nnnn... I don’t like Xie Lian being mistrustful. I get it, but still. - I’d be just as giddy in an armory as Xie Lian! I want to touch pretty swords, as well~~

Chapter 42

(Hua Cheng introduces his sword, E’Ming to the protag. The sword seems to be alive and is kind of cute. Hua Cheng holds a banquette for Xie Lian and during the banquette he gives him some of his luck. The Wind Master also sneaks into the Ghost Kings Manor, and as the night falls, the two starts to sneak around again.) - What the actual fuck, E’Ming is cute! >///< And we’re patting a sword and the sword likes it... Should that be symbolic, or...? - I want to borrow luck, too! I could really use some! Anyone? Do you have some extra luck which you could transfer? (Not necessary through hand holding) - Hua Cheng gets so irritated by the fact that Xie Lian’s cultuvation method forbids promiscuity. XDDDD Oh, poor you. This is gonna be though XD - And more sneaking around. I would feel bad, too. Xie Lian, that’s not nice. 

[shelllessturtle]

Behind the scenes of this livetext: Mycroft gets a new phone and identifies Iago via haiku; Iago sees Hamilton; "Pride and Prejudice but in Starfleet" becomes a thing; Iago quits their job; SO MANY PUNS; and it turns out that Mycroft has never finished Avatar: the Last Airbender. A year in the making (I'm not even fucking kidding), I present you with: Iago Reads Wizards At War (lightly edited for ease of reading)

Mycroft: Better start bracing yourself for book 8 now

Iago: Oh sweet Jesus

Mycroft: There, no you can't say I didn't warn you

Iago: But you /know/ it's funnier when I get to threaten you with gruesome death!

Iago: Are you ready for this?

Iago: ...one of the chapter titles is "Acceptable Losses". /I/ am not ready for this.

Iago: Nita needs a vacation from her vacation. Nita sweetie...

Iago: "Neets, is it true he destroyed a whole alien culture in just ten days?" Carmela Rodriguez is my Patronus

Mycroft: Right?

Mycroft: She just keeps getting better

Iago: Roll call at the Callahan home: "three humans, one humanoid, one tree, and one giant bug" and I'm quietly cackling in public

Iago: "The centipede pointed a couple spare eyes at the Christmas tree." Taken out of context, I think that may be the most bizarre sentence I've ever read. In context, it makes perfect sense. I don't know which amuses me more.

Mycroft: Yesssss

Iago: "But her mom had loved those lilacs, and wouldn't be seeing them again." OKAY OW

Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus

Iago: You weren't wrong.

Iago: And I wasn't prepared.

Mycroft: So not prepared

Mycroft: What's that in response to specifically?

Iago: Basically the entire series of events leading to Kit and Nita becoming Seniors

Mycroft: BASICALLY

Mycroft: IT'S ALL GONE TO SHIT

Iago: Descriptions of wizardries in action never fail to be beautiful

Iago: "The changes in the structure of space then start affecting the thought processes and reactions of all living beings in the area. Their behavior will start to become less and less rational...less committed to Life."

SHE WROTE THIS BOOK OVER A DECADE AGO HOW IS IT SO RELEVANT RIGHT NOW

Mycroft: Oh you have no idea

Iago: God help my soul

Mycroft: So yes, welcome to Tom's Wizardly PowerPoint of universal doom

Iago: I should just go see Moana again. It's far less depressing

Iago: "Uh-oh". Now Nita's getting in on it

Mycroft: Indeed

Iago: Looks like Nita's playing "fake it 'til you make it"

Iago: I don't know if that's good or bad, to be honest

Mycroft: Fairly characteristic tho

Iago: True

Iago: "...yet another lollipop sticking out of his face." That is the greatest description of someone with a sucker in their mouth that I've ever witnessed

Mycroft: Roshaun and his lollipop addiction

Mycroft: The real OTP

Iago: *chokes* oh my gOD

Iago: Sker'ret just called Nita "Senior". I think both Nita and I had a quick internal freak-out

Iago: THEY STILL HAVE BETTY CALLAHAN'S NUMBER IN THEIR HOME PHONE I'M GOING TO GO CRY IN A CORNER

Mycroft: ;__;

Iago: "The universe has started expanding too fast, and we have to stop it before it tears itself apart."

"Um. Okay, I see why you might need a few extra days off for that."

*slightly hysterical laughter*

Mycroft: Same

Iago: "Two weeks to save the universe". Sounds like an album title

Mycroft: I'd listen to it

Iago: "What /is/ grenfelzing, exactly?"

"It's kind of like emmfozing, but with chocolate."

Have I ever mentioned that I both hate and love your ability to quote these goddamn books at me when I ask questions?

Mycroft: I can't recall, but I'm glad to hear it

Mycroft: Also I mean that's the only canon explanation so really, what else could I say

Iago: But you quoted it /word for word/

Mycroft: Admittedly, that was at least partially For The Meme

Iago: I'll allow it

Iago: "...a brief, profound case of amnesia. They'd instantly forgotten why they were there" sounds like my life

Iago: Oh my god what is Spot doing with the TV

Iago: *whispers* How bad is it that my mind is currently in the gutter

Mycroft: Dataaaaaa

Iago: AM I JUST A PERVERT OR DOES THAT SOUND INCREDIBLY DIRTY

Mycroft: It's certainly something

Iago: "But most of the aliens are here for the cocoa plants." Well, I can't exactly blame them...

Iago: Carmela Rodriguez remains a gift

Iago: Oh god Ronan's back

Mycroft: Yessssss Carmela and Ronan

Mycroft: A dangerous combination

Iago: Ronan keeps the Spear in a pen

Iago: *checks date published*

Iago: Feels a bit Percy Jackson to me

Iago: Carmela has the insta-hots for Ronan. This is gonna be fun

Iago: "The fucking heir of an almighty something or other" is still a really good description for Roshaun. In case you were wondering if I had warmed up to him any more

Iago: WHALE

Iago: WHALE ON THE MOON

Iago: Whale On The Moon is the name of my new techno jazz band

Mycroft: Can I join?

Mycroft: I'll learn any new instrument you need

Iago: ...having thought about it, I'm legitimately not certain what instruments would be /played/ in a techno jazz band. So, I mean, if you want to learn the synthesizer...

Iago: Young Wizards book 8 alternate title: Wizards' Reunion

Iago: Lots of air quotes going on right now

Iago: ....I want Darryl's manual

Iago: "Where's your adjunct talent?"

"Playing with rocks, as usual."

Okay now I really want a puppy

Iago: "Twychild". Have I mentioned lately that the worldbuilding in these books gives me a case of the warm fuzzies?

Mycroft: Yesssss Tuyet and Nguyet

Iago: *whispers* Why is there a thought-voice talking in second-person in Kit's head

Iago: The description of Roshaun's living space send help

Iago: "A three-way collision between an antique furniture warehouse, a jewelry story, and a Gothic cathedral carved and decorated by the artistically insane."

Iago: So my brain has given Roshaun's father the voice of Mark Hamill.

Iago: There's a decent chance I'm going to just call him the Phoenix King

Iago: "Speaking truth to power is never 'out'." DAIRINE REMAINS GOD

Iago: (Also if I ever go to a protest I'm putting that on my sign.)

Mycroft: Yessss do it

Mycroft: And which kind of Mark Hamill are we talking here: Skywalker, Firelord or Joker?

Iago: Firelord. Thus the Phoenix King comment

Iago: Oh my god Dairine in the face of implications that she and Roshaun are ~involved~

Mycroft: Blessss

Iago: "You tell those people that they are completely nuts!"

Iago: Did...did Roshaun just /whine/ at his mother?

Mycroft: Yes

Mycroft: Not so dignified now

Iago: *falls off the table in laughter*

Iago: Oh god is Roshaun developing a Thing for Dairine

Mycroft: WELCOME TO THE MADDENING AMBIGUITY

Iago: MADDENING AMBIGUITY IS THE NAME OF MY NEW POLITICAL PUNK BAND

Mycroft: Bless

Iago: This is my favorite game

Mycroft: I know a fair few YW fans who have a particular talent for it

Iago: I have a list. I use them in my stories for bands my characters like

Mycroft: Most excellent

Iago: Ponch wants blue food

Mycroft: As do we all

Iago: I /could/ go for some blue Jolly Ranchers

Iago: Ponch, to Ronan: "You two just talk among yourselves."

Dog sass is best sass

Iago: "It's math, Kit, but not as we know it."

SHE. SHE JUST. SHE FUCKING DID THAT ON PURPOSE

Iago: I'm going to go curl up in a corner and cry with laughter now

Mycroft: Yup

Mycroft: What a nerd, right

Iago: Pot, kettle

Iago: Oh shit Sker'ret is having a fight with his parent

Iago: ...I currently have a desire to cuddle what amounts to a giant centipede. What have you done to me

Mycroft: The magic of Young Wizards

Iago: That was terrible

Iago: But, then again, I love terrible

Iago: Okay so the description of dark matter

Mycroft: Yes?

Iago: I feel like I have something crawling around under my skin

Mycroft: It's unsettling, isn't it

Mycroft: That gets worse

Iago: Oh god

Iago: "Nita for the first time actually saw someone else look out of Ronan's eyes. The expression was one of recognition coupled with a very controlled anger. The one who looked out had seen something like this before."

Oh. Shit. Oh /shit/.

Mycroft: Yessssss

Mycroft: Shit just got real

Iago: I am not prepared for this

Mycroft: Correct

Iago: GIGO

Mycroft: :D

Iago: "For transits like this, we temporarily rewrite the kernel that manages local gravity and mass in our solar system. It's no big deal."

oh my gOD

Iago: They are actually Dairine's children

Mycroft: They've been busy since we last saw them

Mycroft: And it's awesome

Iago: "A world of true computer wizards" get the fuck out

Iago: They're actually calling her Mother s e n d h e l p

Mycroft: RIGHT

Iago: I'm not crying you're crying

Mycroft: I'm not crying I'm eating a quaesadilla

Mycroft: The crying one must be you

Iago: Well I can't see to tell you so who knows

Iago: "Guys," [Dairine] said after a moment, "you make me proud."

"That is our other purpose," Beanpole said. "Our first one."

Iago: I A M D E A D

Mycroft: I knowwww

Iago: "Life's all the time sending /me/ messages I can't read." [Dairine] flicked just a second's glance at Roshaun, who she was starting to think was yet another of those messages.

Iago: Oh lordy

Iago: Oh god above send help

Iago: Spot's becoming less of a machine, more alive. I don't know if I'm in support of this change

Mycroft: Everyone needs upgrades now and then :P

Iago: I don't like change

Iago: I kind of adore the mobiles all bowing to Dairine

Iago: Roshaun raised his eyebrows and produced another lollipop, which he held out to her.

"How many of those things do you have?" Dairine said.

"Not nearly enough," Roshaun said.

Iago: Please excuse me while I go laugh myself sick

Mycroft: Roshaun has his priorities in order

Mycroft: There was always a jar of lollipops on hand at CrossingsCon in his honor

Iago: Perfect

Iago: "I'll give you a dysfunction where you'll have trouble finding it again."

Totally stealing that don't even care

Mycroft: Excellent

Iago: "I may be a mother, but you are /mine/."

Maybe I didn't take enough time to recover after finishing The Slow Regard of Silent Things I'm going to go collapse in an emotional heap

Mycroft: So many Dairine feels, I knowww

Iago: "Enthusiasmic incorporation of the Hesper--"

What? What?! What does it say? What does it mean? I NEED TO KNOW

Mycroft: [rubs hands together; evil laughter] I'M SAYING NOTHING

Iago: Oh god is time moving faster on Metemne

Mycroft: MAYBE

Iago: Oh fuck it's relativity isn't it. Because they're near the source of the dark matter, they're moving faster than the rest of the Universe

Mycroft: Very possible

Iago: Oh no. Introduction of Della Cantrell and MY EMOTIONS CAN'T TAKE THIS HALP

Mycroft: Oh boy

Iago: Nita's phone call to her dad. Direct hit to the feels.

Mycroft: Harry Callahan is such a good dad

Iago: That is part of why it hurts so much

Iago: "Nita, could you please get off me before we accidentally become more than just good friends?"

*cackles maniacally*

Mycroft: BEST

Iago: Holy fucking sHIT ALMOND SPIDERS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Mycroft: Wait what

Mycroft: Remind me of the context for that

Iago: On Rashah. The creatures destroying the trees are almond-shaped and have eight legs. Almond spiders

Mycroft: Oh ok that's what I figured

Mycroft: HELLO TO OUR TERRIFYING NEW ALIEN FRIENDS

Iago: ALMOND SPIDERS. WHY.

Mycroft: WHY NOT

Iago: "They've been fighting each other, on and off, for /millions/ of years?"

"They must be really enjoying it, to keep the war going so long."

Sker'ret is so great

Mycroft: Rashah is not exactly a great vacation destination, that's for sure

Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus the almond spiders are a remnant after an atomic holocaust I need a drink

Iago: And...they're all avatars...of the Lone Wanker. Better make that two drinks.

Mycroft: WELCOME TO RADIOACTIVE POSSESSED WAR-MONGERING GIANT SPIDER CULT WORLD

Mycroft: ENJOY YOUR STAY

Iago: Where is Nita's dad

Iago: I am Concerned

Iago: Also

Iago: I will never get tired of the "check your spelling" joke

Mycroft: Same

Iago: "Words had just failed Dairine." Gods above have mercy on us all

Mycroft: I appreciate that the narration pauses to note how unthinkable that is

Iago: Also, a "bright" version of the Lone Power

Iago: What does that mean

Iago: Why is bright in quotes

Mycroft: To indicate it's kind of a rough description of a more complex subject, mostly

Iago: But does it mean that we're getting a version of the Lone Power that's more on the good side or a version that's worse than usual

Mycroft: There's more explanation later, but basically picture the LP's non-evil twin

Mycroft: Like its opposite, basically

Iago: I thought /you/ were refusing to give spoilers

Mycroft: Meh, I saw that as more clarification on what you already read, ymmv

Mycroft: But stay tuned

Iago: Well obviously

Iago: Nita doesn't like shooting people who are shooting at her

Mycroft: Krakens don't count but I don't think they were as sentient

Iago: "I'm a wizard, not an engineer" goddammit /again/?!

Mycroft: Yesss

Iago: I shall take myself off to the laughing corner

Iago: Oh god self-destruct at the Crossings

Mycroft: Kind of a terrifying prospect

Iago: Nita just blew up a giant gun

Mycroft: Yesss

Iago: "High-fiving a giant centipede can take a while."

Up next on Winning Understatements....

Mycroft: That is so fun to picture

Iago: I know!

Iago: "I don't wear socks."

"Just as well. You'd bankrupt yourself."

That is /also/ fun to picture

Mycroft: As an antidote to the tense battle scene, have a bunch of centipede leg jokes

Iago: Pretty much

Iago: Wait

Iago: /Carmela/?!

Mycroft: Hahahaha yesss

Mycroft: THE GLORIOUS RETURN

Iago: What

Iago: WHAT

Iago: Okay, Sker'ret just /swallowed/ the self-destruct panel

Mycroft: He's got a talent for that kind of thing

Iago: Which, I mean, okay, great way to not lose it

Iago: But

Iago: Can't he digest, like, /everything/?

Iago: And the self-destruct sequence is still going?

Iago: What happens if he takes too long to get the panel back out?

Mycroft: Rirhait stomach work in mysterious ways

Iago: ...is that the canon explanation or your way of saying "don't think about it too hard"

Mycroft: Yes

Iago: Why did I let you talk me into this

Mycroft: Because it's awesome, come on

Iago: Ugh

Iago: *quiet noises of agreement*

Iago: "So I took steps." CARMELA

Iago: (Carmela is the reason I let you talk me into this.)

Mycroft: That's the best answer

Mycroft: This book is Peak Carmela honestly

Iago: *whispers emphatically* Juanita Louise

Mycroft: Yessssss

Iago: Carmela just referred to Filif as "my favorite Christmas tree" and Carmela is all of us in that moment

Mycroft: So true

Mycroft: Filif is tree-mendous

Iago: I fucking hate you so much right now. :b

Mycroft: :D

Iago: "We are on errantry, and we greet you."

"Not that you particularly /merit/ greeting." Nita pls

Mycroft: She's earned the right to some snark, I'd say

Iago: Clearly

Iago: "You get more honey with flies. Wait a minute, that's not how it goes." CARMELA PLS

Mycroft: Oh my god

Mycroft: Get ready for another legendary Carmela moment

Iago: IS SHE BRIBING THE TAWALF WITH CHOCOLATE

Iago: FUCKING SHIT YES SHE IS

Mycroft: YEAH

Mycroft: And now you know why this book made Carmela everyone's favorite

Iago: I'M SO PLEASED WITH THIS

Iago: I mean Dairine is always going to be my eternal favorite but yeah Carmela's a close second

Mycroft: Relatable

Iago: Oh my god now she's threatening to /eat/ the chocolate right in front of them I'm crying

Mycroft: I KNOW RIGHT

Iago: Ponch the almond spider is trying to catch his non-existent tail

Mycroft: Omfg I forgot about that

Iago: It's a hilarious picture

Iago: I think I just witnessed a cult gathering

Iago: "You let me worry about this planet, and I'll let you worry about all the others." HARRY CALLAHAN IS BEST DAD

Mycroft: THE VERY BEST

Iago: NO

Iago: NONONONONO

Iago: TOM AND CARL HAVE FORGOTTEN THEIR WIZARDRY

Mycroft: AH YOU'VE GOTTEN TO THAT PART

Mycroft: WELCOME TO HEARTBREAK CITY, POPULATION YOU

Mycroft: And also Nita

Iago: S E N D H E L P

Iago: Wait are Rirhait mostly purple

Iago: Because if yes than they are my new favorites

Mycroft: They also come in blue, green, and pink, but yeah

Mycroft: I'm pretty sure Sker'ret in particular is purple

Iago: Well I saw that but the book makes a point to say that there are a /lot/ of shades of purple and I fucking love purple

Mycroft: You're in luck, then

Iago: "I would never lose my balance. I am a paragon of grace and stability."

"Oh, yeah. Who said /that/?"

"Roshaun."

Someone help me

Iago: I cannot

Mycroft: Pffft

Mycroft: Classic Roshaun

Iago: Kit is hiding his eyes from "sex stuff" and I'm laughing

Iago: "My dog brings home strays." Kit your dog is a fucking gift

Iago: A ducking gift who knows how to work a situation to get dog treats

Iago: And...and then he gave the treat to the Yaldiv that he brought home.

Iago: Ponch is a good dog.

Mycroft: Ponch is a good dog

Iago: "What is it with these Callahan women that they're always after yelling at you and giving you grief?"

"Not always. Just when it's going to get most on your nerves."

Kit just be glad Nita isn't here because she'd sock you

Iago: Oh

Iago: Oh shit

Iago: Just head the story of the dogs' Choice

Iago: And

Iago: everything is fine

Iago: EVERYTHING IS FINE MYCROFT

Mycroft: E V E R Y T H I N G I S F I N E

Iago: "Even when people mean to do good things, bad things happen in the world."

"They're happening already. Pretending they're not won't help."

Memeki the almond spider is speaking to my soul I'm gonna go start a revolution now

Mycroft: Yes please do

Iago: ALMOND SPIDER ATTACK OH GOD

Mycroft: I'm greatly enjoying your dedication to calling the Yaldiv almond spiders

Iago: NITA AND CARMELA TO THE RESCUE FUCK YEAH

Iago: WAIT WAS THE "THING" NITA WAS SUPPOSED TO GO BACK AND GET ACTUALLY /CARMELA/?!

Iago: BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE THE FUCKING GREATEST

Iago: Also

Iago: What does it mean that Memeki was honored by the Great One

Iago: Is she pregnant

Iago: Is she being nommed from the inside

Iago: Oh. Oh shit. What does Memeki mean by "my time"

Iago: CALLED IT ASSFACES

Iago: I mean

Iago: She's not currently getting et

Iago: But

Iago: Eggses

Iago: EGGSES, PRECIOUS

Iago: ACK NO WHY WITH THE MEMORIES OF BETTY I AM NEVER PREPARED FOR THOSE

Iago: Okay apparently the thing Nita was supposed to bring was /not/ in fact Carmela but rather hEART-WRENCHING MEMORIES OF HER MOTHER'S DEATH

Iago: Oh god Carmela is yanking Kit's chain about having found a manual and I'm experiencing emotional whiplash halp

Mycroft: Carmela is dedicated to yanking as many chains as possible, the audience's included

Iago: THEY'RE ALL LOST THEIR WIZARDRY SEND HELP

Iago: ROSHAUN IS ON HIS DIGNITY SEND A DIFFERENT KIND OF HELP

Iago: *inhuman screeching*

Iago: ACK NO YOU ABSOLUTE WANKHOLE GET YOUR DIRTY POWERS OFF CARMELA

Iago: "Oops," said Carmela...and, very slowly, smiled.

Mycroft: OOPS

Mycroft: The holy grail of Carmela badass

Iago: *screams a lot*

Iago: *so much screaming*

Iago: Oh, now This Bitch is rising from the ashes, because obviously

Iago: *snarls a lot*

Iago: *basically continuous snarling*

Iago: RONAN

Iago: R O N A N

Iago: *screams forever*

Iago: *interrupts eternal screaming for a breath* oh yes Sker'ret is in fact purple *continues screaming*

Iago: ROSHAUN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Iago: ROSHAUN

Mycroft: ROSHAAAAUN

Iago: *still screaming*

Iago: WHAT THE HAP IS FUCKENING

Iago: WHY IS THE TRANSCENDENT PIG HERE

Iago: WHY IS PONCH A SHADOW DOG

Iago: P O N C H

Iago: PONCH IS SUCH A GOOD DOG

Mycroft: PONCH IS THE BEST DOG

Iago: *cries forever*

Iago: *is also still screaming*

Iago: TOM AND CARL ARE BACK

Iago: BUT ON THE OTHER HAND PONCH

Iago: PONCH

Iago: PONCH IS BACK

Iago: HE'S A SHEEPDOG NOW BUT HE'S PONCH

Iago: TOTALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS THE ANIMALS THAT GET TO ME

Iago: IT'S THE END OF THE BOOK AND THE DOG TECHNICALLY DIDN'T DIE

Mycroft: The dog did the opposite of dying, ultimately

Iago: PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I COLLAPSE ON THIS BED AND SOB WITH JOY

Iago: Okay I'm going to go collapse in an emotionally exhausted heap and probably read all of A Wizard of Mars tomorrow. So. Be ready for that.

Mycroft: CONGRATS you made it to the last stop on the emotional roller coaster that is Wizards at War

Mycroft: You win a free trip to Mars

Mycroft: Where definitely nothing will go wrong