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vktrjyce · 1 month ago

Text

tell me that i'm what you need

a jayvik college au

length: 6.8k

author's note: them in a college au has been rotting in my brain since I finished act 3, and i had to write it. it's completely self-indulgent and i understand that and i do not apologize. i have TONS more ideas for this so if it gets enough traction maybe i'll write more LMAOOO. jayvik has their hooks in me good you guys. anyways, thanks so much for reading!! i hope you enjoyed it, and feel free to leave likes and comments! i'd love to hear any feedback or thoughts :) have a great day!!

there is also a playlist that goes along with this fic!

tags: college party ; weed smoking ; trans viktor ; sub jayce talis ; dom viktor ; college au ; shotgunning ; making out ; sexuality crisis ; first meeting ; viktor is hot and confident and jayce loves it ; they're both idiots

warnings: sexual content, weed smoking

summary: Jayce goes to a party with Caitlyn and gets more than he bargained for when he meets a handsome stranger in the basement.

originally posted by vktrjyce

Jayce followed Caitlyn into the overflowing house, wincing at the music pounding against his skull. Three different people bumped into him in the foyer alone, the third spilling an obscene amount of beer on his shoes. He grimaced, waved away the guy’s half-assed apology, and attempted to adjust to the stickiness. It felt a little like he’d surpassed his age of enjoying parties like this. Or maybe he simply needed to be with the right crowd.

This did not feel like his crowd.

“Cait!” He shouted over the music, grabbing his companion’s arm. She turned to him with a raised eyebrow, “This is really how you want to spend your Friday night?”

She pressed her lips into a thin line and leaned towards him, “Vi invited me! I couldn’t exactly say no.”

He overdramatically rolled his eyes, a knowing smile on his face, “So your girlfriend’s the partying type?”

Caitlyn’s own eyes widened, her cheeks going slightly pink, “She’s not my girlfriend! Yet…” She shook her head, dark blue strands swaying back and forth, “And her sister threw this party. She’s just along for the ride.”

“Mmhmm.” Jayce scanned the crowd, looking for a head of hot-pink hair he’d only heard about in stories, “So, where is she?”

“I don’t know. I can’t see her from he-”

“Cupcake!” A muscled arm landed on Caitlyn’s shoulders, simultaneously knocking her into Jayce’s side. The owner of said arm had the exact hair he’d been on the lookout for. Also, the ‘Vi’ tattooed on her face was sort of a dead giveaway, “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.”

Caitlyn looked over at Vi, a pleasant smile sliding across her face. She leaned into the woman, “What, and leave you to your own devices? I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue.”

“You think so low of me. I’m hurt.” Vi teased, before her eyes landed on Jayce, “Who’s this?”

Caitlyn answered before he had a chance to, “This is Jayce Talis. I’ve told you about him.”

Jayce, in turn, offered a polite smile and a small wave.

“So, this is the brainiac?” Vi gave him a once-over, pursing her lips, “Quite the pretty boy, isn’t he?”

He choked out a slightly embarrassed chuckle, resisting the urge to rub at the back of his neck. His Mother always scolded him for having such an obvious nervous tick.

“Don’t say that, it’ll go right to his head.” Cait retorted, giving her friend a knowing look, “And it’s big enough already.”

The man barked out a laugh, “There’s better ways to show off than making fun of me, you know.”

Once again, her eyes widened, “I wasn’t-”

“Aww, are you trying to seduce me with your stuck-upness?” Vi cooed, pinching Caitlyn’s cheek. Though she scrunched up her nose, she didn’t pull away from the touch, “If you are, it’s working.”

“You’re an idiot.” She deadpanned, and then looked back at Jayce, “You both are.”

“I guess you attract them.” He winked at her.

“I like this guy. He’s not all prude and stiff like most of the people you introduce me to.” Vi commented, grinning, “We could have some fun together, pretty boy.”

“The feeling’s mutual, Vi.”

“I don’t know, the thought of you two together doesn’t sit well with me.” Caitlyn piped up, ��And I absolutely do not want to be demoted to third-wheel.”

“I don’t think you’ll need to worry about that.” Jayce gave her a knowing look, sending her gaze to the floor. So he turned it on Vi. She smirked in response.

“You guys want a drink? The kitchen’s stocked with all kinds of stuff.” She offered, pulling Caitlyn closer to her.

“I wouldn’t mind a drink.” His friend responded. She looked at Jayce with a warning on her face. He was no longer welcome in the group.

He heard her loud and clear.

“You guys go ahead, I’m gonna go mingle for a bit.” He told them, taking a step back, “We’ll meet back up later.”

Caitlyn’s look turned grateful, eyes sparkling in the strobe lights. Vi nodded at his declaration.

“Alright, see you later, then.” She bid him adieu, turning Caitlyn (presumably) towards the kitchen.

As they walked away, he heard his friend ask, “Where’s Jinx?”

“Somewhere causing problems, probably. I think she was trying to make fireworks or something.” Vi’s response came, and then they were out of earshot. And Jayce was all alone.

He shifted his weight, patted his hands against his pants, and then decided he should do something. Something other than standing in the middle of this room. Watching the party go on without him. Like a loser.

He sucked in a deep breath and moved further into the house.

People were dancing, mingling, playing games, and making out on practically every available surface. He could only imagine what others were getting up to in the non-public spaces. He’d had his own fair share of trysts in his younger days. Now, though, he much preferred a quiet night in or hyperfocusing on a new project. Cait always teased him for ‘turning into an old man.’

Maybe she had a point. Just a little bit.

It took Jayce a 10-minute conversation with Salo and another 15 minutes of standing against a wall before the noise and the lights became too much. He was uncomfortable, on his way to overstimulated, and in desperate need of a small respite. So he went looking for one.

All the bedrooms were… occupied. The bathroom, when not occupied, was more of a cesspool of untoward activity than a sanctuary. The backyard was just as loud as anywhere else. All that left him with was the closed basement door. Which had an eccentric, bright pink ‘Stay Out!!!’ spray-painted on it.

He did feel bad about ignoring the warning, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Jayce opened the door, stepped inside, and shut it behind him. The immediate quiet, even with the muffled music through the wall, sent relief through his body. He sighed and walked down the stairs. About halfway down, a familiar skunk-like smell wafted its way up to him. But since he’d already committed, he simply wrinkled his nose and kept going.

He stepped off the final stair, turned the corner, and took a look around the room.

It was a typical basement- a couple of couches, a TV, a coffee table, and various movie and show posters on the walls. The lights were off, save for a warm-colored lamp on the table. None of it was out of the ordinary. Nothing particularly caught his eye.

What did gain his attention, though, was the man on the couch.

Pale and lanky, long brown hair with strands of blonde pulled into a low bun, clad in a burgundy cardigan and black sweats with a leg brace on the right knee. Only his side profile was visible from here, showing off a long nose and sharp cheekbones. A beauty mark sat above his thin, pink lips, which were currently wrapped around a half-smoked joint. His long lashes fluttered closed as he inhaled, pulled the joint from his mouth, and laid his head back against the couch. One long finger tapped against it.

Jayce was, for one moment, very taken aback. If this guy was a girl, he’d be stunning.

“Uh-” He grunted out, like an idiot.

The man’s eye opened, iris sliding in his direction. No other part of him moved. He exhaled the smoke and closed his eye again, “The bathroom is upstairs, on the second level. At the end of the hall.”

As if this stranger’s looks weren’t enough of a shock, his words came out accented. It sounded Russian, or maybe Czech. It made him sound melodic, like voicing an elegant song instead of speaking. Jayce found himself wanting to hear more.

“Oh, no, I, uh-” Jayce cleared his throat, then tried again, “Sorry, I was actually just trying to find a quiet place for a minute. All the noise was… it was a little much.”

The man’s eyes opened again, and this time he turned his head towards Jayce. The latter discovered two distinct things at that moment.

One, he had another beauty mark. Under his right eye, lighter than the one above his mouth.

Two, the attractiveness increased tenfold when he saw his whole face. A few strands of his hair had fallen out of the bun and framed his face. Seriously, he could be a model or something.

The stranger raised a thick, dark eyebrow, “Why come to a party if the party is going to be ‘a little much’?”

“Well, that’s not-” He scoffed, rubbing a hand over his jaw, “I didn’t- I came with a friend, so.”

Piercing golden eyes watched him with mild curiosity, “And where is your friend now?”

“She’s with her- you know what? It doesn’t matter.” Jayce shook his head, feeling a little disgruntled, “You’re the one hiding down here all by yourself.”

“Well, I live here. I can’t exactly escape the party.” He explained, tilting his head from side to side, “This was supposed to be my safe haven.”

Jayce ignored the last part, partly out of stubbornness, and responded with a question, “You live here? I thought Vi’s sister was the host.”

“Jinx.” The man explained, looking away. It gave Jayce a chance to take a deep breath. He felt like a bug under a magnifying glass with those eyes on him, “And she is. She’s my roommate. One of them.”

“Jinx? What kind of a name is that?” He chuckled.

There was no response. Only a noncommittal shrug as he lifted the joint to his lips once again. A motion by which Jayce found himself hypnotized. The slender fingers holding it, the way his lips pursed as he inhaled, the twitching of his eyelids. It looked so natural- as simple as breathing. He was so caught up in it that he didn’t realize the man’s gaze was on him again.

“Do you want some?” He asked, jolting Jayce out of his trance and offering the weed up.

He could feel his face heating up, both from being caught staring and from the offer. He’d had weed a couple of times in the past, but it never ended well. Whether it be not knowing his own limits or peer pressure, he always went too far and got too anxious to enjoy it. He was open to it, but that didn’t stop him from feeling nervous. A familiar emotion right now.

“Oh, I uh- I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

The man smiled, just a small thing, but it made a certain softness take over his face, “A little late for that, no?”

His cheeks were sure to be bright red now. He laughed nervously.

The good-looking stranger shook his head, gesturing for Jayce to come closer, “I’m joking. Come. The company might be nice.”

“Are you sure?” The question came out hesitant, but he was already moving over to the couch. Something about the way this guy spoke made him feel compelled to listen.

However, that could be the sleep deprivation talking. Or he’d finally lost it. Both were possibilities.

“I find you… intriguing.” His new acquaintance told him, watching as he sat on the opposite side of the couch, “Besides, you said you needed a moment of quiet.”

“I guess that’s true.” He shrugged, “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“Mm.” Humming, he offered the joint to Jayce once again. This time, he took it.

It was only then that he realized there was a cane resting next to the man. Silver with a red and gold handle, decorated with graffiti that matched the ‘keep out’ sign on the door. He wondered if it was the stranger’s doing, but that felt unlikely. It didn’t seem like his style.

Jayce took a drag, forcing himself not to cough as the marijuana burned all the way down. He really was not used to this sensation. The only thing worse than the burn, though, would be looking like a fool in front of this interesting guy he’d just met. He had to play it cool.

God, he was such a loser.

“You’re supposed to exhale it, you know.” The man spoke up, amusement lacing that magnetizing accent. It was just shy of patronizing, which strangely made his stomach coil.

This entire interaction was making Jayce’s head spin a little bit.

He let the smoke out in one quick breath, which immediately sent him into a coughing fit. He hunched over himself, hitting a fist against his chest in an attempt to clear the pipe. He didn’t think this could get any worse. Either the humiliation or the coughing would kill him. A death that he’d happily embrace.

“There, there. Easy.” A hand rested on his back, lithe fingers rubbing into the muscles, “You haven’t smoked much, I see.”

Jayce barely noticed the hand on him, too preoccupied with trying not to die. He shook his head, letting out a hoarse, “Not really.”

“Here.” The joint was taken from his hand and replaced with a glass of water, “Drink.”

He didn’t hesitate to chug half of it. Then he slumped back against the couch, eyes closed as he took a few deep breaths. The burn had subsided, leaving only a bit of irritation in his throat. At the very least, he’d stopped coughing. Small victories.

“Are you alright?”

Jayce looked over at the stranger- his savior, in a way- and froze. Those amber eyes were locked on him, rimmed with red, and hungry. That feeling in his chest tightened, making him feel on edge.

He swallowed, “Yeah. Yeah, uh, sorry. I don’t- I’m sorta new to this.”

The man tucked some hair behind his ear and laid his arm over the back of the couch. His hand was only a few inches away from Jayce’s face.

“Was this your first time?”

“No.” He shook his head, “I’ve done it a couple times before. Just… not in a while.”

“I see.” He picked at a loose thread sticking out of the cushion, “Did you enjoy it? In the past?”

Jayce’s mind was starting to feel foggy. He pursed his lips, “It wasn’t bad. I think I just… I did too much too fast. Got in over my head.”

“Mm, you seem like the type.” The man’s fingernails were painted black, the polish chipped, “To get in over your head, that is.”

“Yeah?” He smiled lazily at his new friend, “What about you?”

The man shook his head immediately, “Definitely not. I am always calm and collected. Just don’t ask anyone close to me for a second opinion on that.”

That made him laugh. He laid a hand over his stomach, head tilted back. When he looked back at the stranger, still chuckling, there was something close to admiration on the guy’s face. Again, his stomach did a flip. What a strange way this night was going.

“What’s your name?” He asked, voice deeper and accent more prominent.

“Jayce.” He responded, “Jayce Talis. You?”

“Viktor.” The man told him, and it was perfect. He couldn’t think of a better-fitting name.

“It’s nice to meet you. Even if I made a complete fool of myself with the weed.”

Viktor snorted out a laugh, taking another hit from the joint. He made it look effortless, “Not at all. You’re new to it. I’ve been doing it for a long time.”

“You never get sick of it?”

“Never. It helps too much. With the, eh, pain. And, you know, it quiets the mind.”

“Right.” He gestured to the leg brace, “I don’t wanna pry, but I assume that’s what you’re talking about.”

“Well, there are worse ways to be nosy.” He responded, screwing up his lips, “You’d be right, though. It’s my bad leg. I was born with it.”

“I’m sorry.” Jayce blurted, because he felt like an idiot. The weed definitely wasn’t helping with his stupidness, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t.”

He held his hands up in surrender, “Alright, that’s fair. I just don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“My hero.” Viktor deadpanned, rolling his pretty eyes, “Can you feel it yet?”

Jayce furrowed his brows, “Feel- oh, the weed?”

The other man nodded in confirmation.

“A little. I don’t think I had much, honestly.”

“Do you want more?”

“And have another coughing fit? I can’t take more embarrassment, Viktor.”

He chuckled, “You’ll survive. And we can try another way to get it down for you.”

“Another way? Like what?”

Something mischievous had crossed over his face, which was slightly scary, “I believe most people call it, uh… shotgunning. Have you heard of it?”

Jayce most definitely had. And the prospect was simultaneously intriguing and panic-inducing to him.

Viktor was nice and funny, and he was good-looking. But shotgunning was sort of… an intimate thing? In a way? The kind of thing you did when you wanted to get up close and personal with someone?

Was that what Viktor wanted? Was he coming onto Jayce?

If he was, well, that was flattering. But Jayce wasn’t really… he’d done stuff with men before. The typical college, experimenting stuff. And it was fine- wasn’t terrible. But he didn’t think that was really… him.

But he was also a little high. And spiraling. And he was having a good time with Viktor and he didn’t want it to end.

So what the hell? Why not? What’s the worst that could happen?

“Yeah, I- I think I have.” He spoke, finally giving in and rubbing at the back of his neck, “We could give it a shot. If you want.”

“Excellent.” Viktor patted the empty spot next to him, “Come.”

Jayce followed the order with no hesitation. Like a dog obeying the commands of his master. Something about it made the other man’s eyes light up, much to his confusion.

“So, how are we-”

He didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence. The words were cut off as Viktor slid onto his legs, seating himself right on Jayce’s lap. It sent his brain, his heart, his whole body into overdrive. It didn’t even occur to him to move him, though. He was too busy trying to remember how to breathe. Not necessarily in a bad way, but definitely slightly unnerving.

Friends could do stuff like this, right?

Did Jayce even want to just be friends? Was there something more here?

Viktor smelled like weed, cinnamon, and old paper. It drew him in with every breath.

Jayce, even with his sluggish mind, was coming to a semi-realization. While he couldn’t be sure how true it would feel in the light of day, it felt true now. Which could mean tons of things, honestly.

Jayce was realizing that he liked this feeling. He liked the buzzing under his skin, the fogginess behind his eyes. He liked the weight of Viktor on him, liked the smell of Viktor, liked Viktor. Something about him was just so magnetizing. It made him nervous. This whole thing did. But he found that he didn’t really mind it.

This was surely a crisis in the making. Something to be dealt with and reflected on in the sober light of day. He could analyze every move, second-guess every word and every reaction. He could take the time to nitpick his feelings until everything was clear. But right now, that didn’t matter.

Right now, he felt good. And he wanted to keep doing what felt good. That should be simple enough.

He nodded to himself. Literally. He probably looked like a freak to his companion. If he did, he garnered no reaction.

“Open your mouth,” Viktor told him, raising the joint to his lips.

Fuck. A cacophony of not-appropriate things flitted through his mind in reaction to the words. Not on purpose.

“Wait-” He heard himself saying, which was the opposite of what his heart (and his dick) wanted him to do. Apparently, his head still had the wheel.

Jayce rested his hands on Viktor’s hips to stop him. Even through the thick cardigan, the latter’s hip bones were prominent. It made something twist unhappily in Jayce’s chest.

Viktor did wait, pausing with a raised eyebrow and the weed an inch or two from his mouth.

“A-are you okay like this?” Jayce stuttered out, looking up at the star of his current dilemma, “Your leg-”

The questioning look on Viktor’s face turned to amusement, and he tilted his head, “That’s what you’re worried about? You idiot.”

The word didn’t even sting like it would’ve from anyone else. It sounded like an endearment more than anything.

“My leg is fine.” He hummed, resting a hand on Jayce’s shoulder. The weight was nice, soothing, “I’ve lived with it all my life. I know what I can handle.”

Did weed have some sort of magical attraction properties? The sensation in his chest certainly felt like something out of a fairytale.

“Okay.” Jayce exhaled shakily- again, not on purpose, “Okay. I just wanted to check.”

“How kind of you.” That hand left his arm, coming back a moment later as Viktor grabbed his chin. He squeezed lightly, causing Jayce’s lips to pucker, “Are you ready?”

Jayce nodded eagerly, giggling. Any harder and his head probably would’ve snapped off.

Viktor gave him a look of approval that made his lungs ache, “Inhale when I exhale. Yes?”

He swallowed, “Yes.”

The man half-smiled, gave him a little nod, and took a long drag. It looked so easy, so beautiful, when he did it. Which was a strange thing to think. A strange action to find beautiful. But it was, nevertheless.

Jayce parted his lips when Viktor lowered his hand, watching with expectant eyes as the man leaned toward him. Their noses brushed, sending a tingle through his skin. His breath hitched, and then the smoke was blown into his mouth. He closed his eyes and inhaled.

It burned again, but he loved it this time. It filled his chest, his brain, left him feeling a little weightless.

There was no coughing when he exhaled. Only the relief of subsided stinging, the warmth of Viktor against him. His nerves began to hum from his head to his toes.

He was pretty sure he understood what all the hype was about now. Why the drug was so popular.

But then again, that could all be because of Viktor.

Viktor, Viktor, Viktor.

“So beautiful.” He heard his companion say, and there was a thumb brushing over his bottom lip.

Jayce blinked his eyes open. It was harder than usual. Everything felt a little sluggish.

Viktor was watching him. The whites of his starlight eyes were red, his gaze half-lidded, and that hunger was back. He looked like a cat on the prowl. Stalking its prey.

Jayce had never been so pleased to feel like a cornered mouse.

“Do you like men, Jayce?”

“Do I-?” The question echoed his own thoughts bouncing around his mind. It sent a strike of panic through him, slightly dampened by the drug in his veins. He didn’t really have an answer for him. This night had brought up a lot of feelings on that exact topic, and most of them were muddy. It was terrifying, “I don’t… I’m not really sure, Viktor.”

“Allow me to rephrase my question, then.” He hummed, and he was back to brushing his fingers over Jayce’s face. His lips, cheeks, nose, the space between his eyebrows, “Do you want to kiss me?”

This question was much simpler. But it wasn’t much easier to answer.

He really liked Viktor. He was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Viktor was funny and he had a nice accent and his face was- honestly, the only word that came to mind was beautiful. He’d never found a man beautiful before.

Jayce wanted the answer to be easy. He wanted it to come to him like a reflex. But he was scared. The fear was holding him back.

He tried to remind himself of the vow he’d made only a bit ago. Analyze emotions later, do what feels good now.

If Viktor was a woman, Jayce knew what his answer would be. And that should be enough for now. He met Viktor’s gaze once more.

“Yes.” He whispered. It felt a little like signing his death sentence.

“Go on, then.” Their noses were touching again. Viktor’s skin was cold on his. Or maybe Jayce’s was just unusually hot.

“You want me to?” Jayce was over-thinking. As he, clearly, had a tendency to do. But some part of him felt like this was all a prank, or a dream. Surely, the moment he leaned forward it would all go up in a cloud of smoke.

“Take what you want, Jayce.” His voice was lower, deeper. The words curled with his accent, like music notes drifting through the air, “Hesitate, and the opportunity will slip through your fingers.”

That was all the push he needed.

He kissed Viktor. Slowly at first, awkwardly. He was giggling again, mostly out of nervousness. Jayce had experience in kissing- 95% of it was with women. And this was different.

He’d lean forward and end up squishing their noses together. Let out a chuckle, re-adjust, try again. Their teeth clacked together on the next kiss, a jarring sensation that made them both flinch. Still, they were smiling and touching and going for more. Jayce tried to kiss him and missed, planting a smooch right on his chin.

“Shit-” He snickered, pulling away. His cheeks were red-hot, “Sorry, sorry.”

“Don’t be. And don’t be nervous.” Viktor’s eyes crinkled a little as he smiled, “We’re in no rush.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Okay.” He took a stabilizing breath, half-grinning, “Can I try again?”

“I’d be offended if you didn’t.”

Jayce laughed and kissed him again. A little more sure this time, but just as sloppy. He leaned up off the couch, pressing his hand into the small of Viktor’s lower back. Needing him closer, closer, closer. His lips tasted like raspberries.

Viktor’s fingers tangled into Jayce’s hair, keeping his head right where he wanted. He kissed him like he was a master at it, like it was something he’d done a million times. It made Jayce feel very, very inadequate.

He nipped at Jayce’s bottom lip, pulled back enough that Jayce had to chase him for more, then plunged right back in. A gentle tug on the locks in Viktor’s hands had Jayce’s mouth falling open. Viktor’s tongue slipped inside a moment later. One of his hands came to rest on Viktor’s face, thumb brushing over that sharp cheekbone. He allowed himself to be manhandled- let Viktor use his mouth as he pleased. He couldn’t stop fucking smiling.

“There we go, you’re getting the hang of it,” Viktor murmured against his lips. His kisses moved to Jayce’s chin, mouthing along his jawline, “So eager, too. Like a puppy. Will you wag your tail if I call you a good boy?”

He wanted to be embarrassed about the comparison. Wanted to not like the insinuation as much as he did. Mostly, though, he just wanted more Viktor.

“Fuck.” He breathed, tilting his head back to give the other man more access. His pants were starting to strain a little bit.

“I think that’s a yes.” He whispered, his breath sending goosebumps across Jayce’s skin.

Viktor’s kisses moved up, up, up, until he was nibbling on Jayce’s earlobe. He gave it one sharp tug.

And Jayce fucking whimpered.

He’d never made that noise before. He didn’t even know he could make that noise. It definitely didn’t sound like something that would’ve come out of him. But it had. His face was on fire.

“Oh, you like that?” Viktor practically purred. He pulled away to look at Jayce, and his hazy eyes widened a bit, “You didn’t know you liked that.”

“No, I-” He swallowed, shifting a little in his seat, “I didn’t mean to make that… noise.”

As if his inexperience wasn’t bad enough, now he was making sounds that could only be labeled as pathetic. Viktor must have thought he was such an idiot.

The man frowned, pink lips forming an adorable pout, “I put work into getting that noise from you. I’d appreciate if you didn’t try to downplay it.”

Jayce blinked up at him, “You liked it?”

Viktor stared at him like he was an idiot. Jayce could only focus on how pretty he was like that.

“Kiss me again?” He pleaded, because the way his head was already spinning wasn’t enough. He needed more.

His companion was happy to oblige.

The kiss was back to passionate and sloppy, all tongue and teeth and wandering hands. Jayce’s shirt got halfway unbuttoned, Viktor’s hair was let down, and the forgotten cup of water was kicked onto the carpet. Neither of them noticed, or maybe they didn’t care. Too caught up in each other to remember there was a whole world around them.

They’d fallen into a rhythm, moving together like partners in a dance. It was euphoric.

“Shit-” Jayce moaned, eyes rolled back as the other man sucked at his neck.

Viktor ran his tongue down Jayce’s pulse point, kissed the spot right above his collarbone, and then bit down. Hard.

Jayce hissed at the sting, then grunted as it immediately turned into pleasure. All of his blood had gone South. His head was blissfully empty. Had he ever felt so needy in his life? If he had, he definitely couldn’t remember it.

Viktor slid his hands down Jayce’s arms, interlocking them with the ones still on his waist. His fingers were slender against Jayce’s, bony and long while the other’s were thick and strong. They fit together perfectly.

Viktor kissed him again, then again. Little pecks that left him desperate for more.

“Had enough yet?” He asked through the kisses, his lips swollen and red, “Perhaps you should return to the- mm- party. If you’ve had your moment of quiet.”

“Trying to get rid of me?” Jayce asked, his breathing ragged. The question was asked jokingly, but it made his chest ache. Maybe he was doing terribly- maybe this wasn’t as good for Viktor as it was for him. He squeezed Viktor’s hands, still clasped in his own, “And here I thought we were having such a good time.”

“Whatever gave you that idea?” He shot back, attempting to hide the amused smile on his lips. He certainly thought himself funny. It made Jayce’s fear die down, just a little, “Be a good boy and lay me down. I need to rest my leg.”

The nickname went straight to his dick. It also made him sit there for a solid five seconds like an idiot as his mind tried to process the words. Then he did, and it immediately had his heart lunging with worry.

“Does it hurt?” Jayce asked earnestly, hooking his hands under Viktor’s thighs to lay him down on the couch. He knelt in between the man’s legs, the right one stretched out and relaxed.

Viktor let out a relieved sigh as he settled into the couch, “It was starting to pinch. Nothing too bad, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” Jayce asked softly, one hand holding him up while the other held Viktor’s hip. He watched the man closely, worriedly, “We can stop if-”

“Do you want to stop?”

“No!” He choked out, dark strands falling over his forehead. The answer came out faster than his mind could keep up. Complete instinct. He furrowed his brows, “No, I don’t. I just am… worried.”

“Jayce, I am high out of my mind, having my way with a beautiful boy. I am fine.”

He grinned at the sentiment, even as it made his face heat up, “Beautiful? Really?”

Viktor rolled his red-tinged eyes, “You know you’re beautiful. I won’t feed your ego. Come and kiss me more, yes?”

Jayce giggled. He leaned down, “Yes.”

It was easier to kiss Viktor like this- more familiar. He still wasn’t the one leading, but it did feel like he had more control. Not that he’d minded being at the mercy of his companion.

Jayce’s hand slid down the other man’s hip, grasping his thigh and pulling the leg against his waist. He could nearly wrap his hand entirely around the limb, fingertips almost touching. It made something primal, maybe territorial, bloom in his chest. Viktor was so fucking skinny.

“Mm-” Viktor gasped as their groins slotted together, fingers digging into Jayce’s shoulders. He looked up with those pretty sunset eyes, lips parted, “Jayce.”

If he was sober, Jayce would’ve realized that his name sounded a little like a warning. But he was high, he was horny, and he had never been much of a good listener. And Viktor smelled so good and his skin was soft and Jayce was kissing up and down his throat. Really, it wasn’t his fault. He had too much he was preoccupied with.

He rolled his hips again, desperate for friction, and paused. Something about that was… off. It didn’t feel how it should.

“Hold on,” Viktor spoke up again, another warning. Jayce couldn’t hear him- he was too busy thinking.

The cogs in his head were turning, and he was realizing, and- Shit. He pulled away like he’d been burned. He watched with wide eyes as Viktor sat up, the latter’s expression nearing resignation.

“Jayce-” He began, and it sounded like the beginning of an explanation.

Once again, Jayce was not listening. How the hell was Viktor so calm? This was serious!

“Oh my God.” He breathed out, running a hand through his already messy hair. He sat back on his heels, “Oh my God, Viktor, where’s your dick? What happened to it?”

The other man watched him in stunned silence. It was totally unnerving. Really, why wasn’t he freaking out?!

“Did I crush it? Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that was possible. My Mom always told me I had more strength than I knew what to do with, I just didn’t think it could do this-”

Viktor snorted. Loud and sharp enough that it shut Jayce up, quieted his mind. The two stared at each other for three long seconds.

Then Viktor started laughing.

The sound was light, a little wheezy, and beautiful. Despite the strangeness of the situation, it made Jayce smile. He’d never heard a laugh quite like it.

Still, that didn’t take away from the very real panic coursing through him.

“Jayce, you are- oh, God.” He chuckled, covering his mouth with a hand, “It is a good thing you have your looks.”

He furrowed his brows. His brain was very slow right now and he was very, very confused. Shaking his head, he rested a hand on Viktor’s knee, “I don’t understand.”

The smile the man gave Jayce was equal parts fondness and patronization, “I don’t have a, eh, dick, as you so eloquently put it. I never have.”

Jayce tilted his head to the side as if things would make more sense at a 45-degree angle. He blinked once, twice, three times, “What?”

Viktor rolled his eyes, more for theatrics than anything else, “To put it technically, I was born a female. Which took me very little time to realize was not the case. Thus, here I am now. Not a female. My body simply… is a little behind in the process.”

“Oh.”

Jayce was the dumbest fucking idiot in the world. His face was absolutely on fire, embarrassment burning through him. Part of him hoped death would just take him now, or that this was all a dream he’d wake up from. If only to save himself from the humiliation. Viktor must have been kicking himself for spending time with such an imbecile.

“Is that a problem for you?” Viktor asked when Jayce stayed silent, an incredulous eyebrow raised. The warmth was gone from him, defenses raised as he waited for an answer.

Jayce lurched forward, desperate to fix the situation, to stop being so damn stupid. A large hand cupped Viktor’s cheek, “No! No, not at all. I’m sorry, I just- I feel so stupid.” He laughed, more self-deprecating than anything, “You’re great, Viktor- wonderful. And I’m an idiot. I didn’t- I’m sorry, my brain is not working. It’s not a problem. I like you how you are.”

The word vomit spewing from him was grating on his nerves, making him cringe. He wanted to curl into a ball and die. This was the worst.

He expected Viktor to pull away. To tell him to leave, that they were done and Jayce was unwelcome. He expected to be shunned for his idiocy. He would’ve deserved it, too.

Instead, the man huffed out a laugh. He shook his head, “I’m not sure I’d go so far as to call you an idiot, Jayce. But it certainly was not one of your finest moments.”

“Definitely not.” He grinned, running his thumb over the sharp cheekbone, “Try not to hold it against me? I don’t care that you’re a guy without a dick. I like you. I’m just very high.”

“Oh, you like me?” Viktor wrapped a hand around Jayce’s forearm, “You just met me.”

He gave a half-assed shrug, getting a little caught up in how starkly contrasting their skin tones were, “It doesn’t take much.”

“Just weed and some kissing, huh?”

“You also happen to be very cool.” Jayce argued, a teasing lilt to his voice, “Though the weed and the kissing don’t hurt.”

Viktor chuckled. He looked so lovely with his hair down and a smile on his face. Jayce wanted to commit it to a canvas and look at it forever.

“Can we do some more of it? The kissing?” He asked before he could stop himself. This longing in his chest was more than he could bear.

The man’s eyes shimmered like starlight, something akin to pride flaring in him. He liked that Jayce wanted him. Jayce liked it too- he liked that look on Viktor’s face a lot.

Just as Jayce’s companion opened his mouth to respond, though, they were interrupted.

The door to the basement was flung open, letting in a flurry of pounding music and strobe lights. Jayce jumped a foot in the air, heart rate skyrocketing, while Viktor didn’t move a muscle.

“Vik, you down there?” A voice that could only be described as cackly called. From here, Jayce couldn’t see any part of the intruder besides black scuffed boots and two ankle-length blue braids, “Ekko says I can’t set off my fireworks unless you’re there to supervise!”

Viktor laid his head against the back of the couch and looked up toward the doorway, “I’m assuming you won’t be taking no for an answer?”

“Nope!” Came her enthusiastic reply as she rocked back and forth on her heels, “I told you I was gonna make you participate in the party. You’ve had your time.”

The man let out a long sigh before responding, “I’ll be right there.”

“Don’t take too long! I’ll be on the roof!”

Then the door slammed shut, and they were in the quiet again.

Viktor looked at Jayce with an expression bordering on apologetic, “It seems we’ll have to rain-check our kissing, unfortunately.”

“You have to go?” He didn’t mean to sound as pathetic and whiny as he did. The thought of parting with him right now made him very sad.

“Jinx is not one for patience.” Viktor got to his feet, stretching his arms above his head until his spine popped. His shirt rode up, giving Jayce a peek of smooth skin over a prominent hip bone, “And I’d prefer if my house didn’t get burned down by her antics. I like having a place to live.”

Viktor was reaching for his cane and Jayce was panicking, panicking, panicking. He didn’t want to say goodbye, not yet. His mind was a haze but he knew that much.

“Well, can I see you again? Sometime soon?” Desperate. He must’ve looked so desperate. He didn’t care.

Viktor paused and looked down at him, half-smirking. His fingers tapped against the head of his cane, “I’m sure you’ll see me again, Jayce. Some time.”

“But-”

“You can stay down here as long as you’d like.” Viktor walked towards the stairs, favoring the weight of his bad leg a little, “Enjoy the quiet, get some rest, take care of your… predicament. No one will bother you.”

It didn’t take a genius to know that the ‘predicament’ was Jayce’s not-so-subtle erection. His cheeks were heating up again. All he could do was watch with resignation as the man moved away from him. He was like water Jayce was trying to hold in his hands.

Just as he was about to ascend the stairs, Viktor stopped again. He looked at Jayce over his shoulder, gazing through strands of brown hair. His eyes shone with warmth, “Thank you for keeping me company. I hope it was as… enjoyable for you as it was for me.”

He left after that. Deserting Jayce in the basement with kiss-swollen lips, too-tight pants, and a whole lot of questions.

711 notes · View notes

ravewing · 1 year ago

Text

cambrian period dashboard simulator

redlichiida-realdeactivated0455414

petition to ban anomalocarises from the local sandbar. theyre so fucking big and it's freaking everyone out and me personally ion want a trilobite muncher looming over me when im trying to have a drink.

🪲 trillybite17 Follow

they dont call them the ABNORMAL shrimp for nothing, they're fucking weird

🎸 punkrock-halluci Follow

No, you know what petition needs to be started? One to get rid of ignorant bigots like you. Have you ever SEEN an Anomalocaris ever eat– let alone ATTACK– a trilobite? No, you haven't. Because they DON'T EAT TRILOBITES. Do some fucking research before you say shit like this.

⚜️ splendidmarrella Follow

fyi if you get rid of anomalocarises from public spaces then you will quite literally starve. you know those dead soft-bodied organisms yall scavenge and eat? yeah anomalocaris is the one providing those for you. as a scavenger myself i have been personally impacted by loss of food due to unfair treatment of anomalocarises that have forced them to leave the shallows that i live in and let me tell you eating detritus and nothing else is literally awful. please think twice before you post something prejudiced like this.

🩶 pleurae71 Follow

common hallucigenia + marrella W

ignore the OP, i promise most of us trilobites aren't like them- i don't even know why this is a debate. i guarantee they've never stepped outside of their little rock cave in their life

🌀 xcorynexospikesx Follow

LMFAOO they deactivated☠️

32,354 notes

🫧 cambripuns Follow

What do you call a Hurdiidae without any eyes? A Hurddae!

♟️vampeytoia Follow

actually you'd call it 'uncle maximilien' because my uncle maximilien was hatched with no eyes

💼 stanley-shrimp Follow

Valerie, you and I both know damn well that you do not have an "Uncle Maximilien," let alone one with no eyes. Stop lying on the internet and stop leaving your soft-bodied organism carcasses on my front sandbed. It smells putrid.

♟️ vampeytoia Follow

wow ok mr fun police. just go and piss on my parade like that

51,039 notes

👾 fiveeyedcoolguy Follow

giys i.m tripping bals rn lol. shuld not hv eaten tge 'detritus " browni e from the hallucigna.. i saw thr magic anomllcrais

🪱 pinkpikaiapage Follow

What?? Elaborate

👾 fiveeyedcoolguy Follow

He told me a prophecy

6,211 notes

🦐 apexshrimpy Follow

she cambrian on my period till i explosion

#anomalo talks #misc tag #is this hash tag funny or no?

211 notes

🎸 punkrock-halluci Follow

thinking about dying my spikes again. what color should i get?

🍢 leancho852 Follow

Do magenta to match your skateboard!!

🎸 punkrock-halluci Follow

ohh that's actually really smart thanks🙏

17 notes

🪨 shalesifters Follow

�� the-odontogriphus767 Follow

yo wtf. none of these fuck the landmasses. we're all in the ocean for a REASON

🦪 biofilmer08 Follow

Hey, actually, a few other molluscs and I browse on the microbial biofilm :)

♟️ vampeytoia Follow

🤓

9,761 notes

🕸️ arthropodstemz Follow

reblog if u get around by undulating ur lateral lobes

21,006 notes

📜 g-wiwaxia Follow

Did anyone else happen to see @shalesifters poll on the landmasses (followed by the reblog of the mollusc)? I'd like to think that I was born in the wrong generation. I should have been able to experience the joys of being a land-dweller. I may just have grown tired of being in the ocean every day; quite frankly I just want some sort of change or reform (especially considering the incredulous prices of jellyfish nowadays...)

#Rant #I hope you guys get the idea. I expect some (likely a copious amount of, actually) hate for this one, but regardless I thought that I'd share my thoughts here #I'd like to move to Laurentia

74 notes

📸 daily-cambrian-pics Follow

⚜️ splendidmarrella Follow

omg thats me on the bottom in the middle! @romip51212 @kookykootenia look its us from earlier today

🫑 kookykootenia Follow

Woah whatt this is actually crazy

🍤 romip51212 Follow

yo i look rad in that.. changing my header immediately

8,121 notes

🦂 radiodont-radiostatic Follow

DNI if you support any of the anti-anomalocaris propaganda that's circling around. Sick and tired of the twisted lies that are being spread on here. I won't stand for the slandering of my brethren.

#static speaks #dni #will not hesitate to block and report any of you bigoted assholes

93 notes

🪼 jlyfsgh224256 Follow

79,343 notes

🍌 nectocarisking69420 Follow

I FUCKING LOVE DETRITUS

🍌 nectocarisking69420 Follow

Yo wtf was i on last night

🍢 leancho852 Follow

You were speaking your truth king. Don't hold back

755 notes

🪸 see-you-lagerstatte Follow

thought too long about the big white orb beyond the surface and broke down crying. What to do about this?

#why is it there?????? what is it???? #please im going insane over this

23 notes

🐾 catboycanadaspis Follow

born to say "nya!" and meow. forced to consume the coarse particles found on the sediment surface

886 notes

🌊 tidal-trilobite Follow

hey has anyone else noticed that it's been harder to breathe lately or is it just me? can't afford to go to the doctor for an exam rn

🦀 clackyappendages Follow

I thought that it was just me! I might sound crazy but have there been less archaeocyathids lately??

🐚 sand-muncher-757 Follow

i've had TWO neighbors pass away from hypoxia in the past month, definitely have noticed the breathing issues too. also i havent seen an archaeocyathid in so long either. so weird😬😬

682 notes

#cambrian period #cambrian explosion #cambrian #paleozoic #paleontology #paleoblr #dashboard simulator #anomalocaris #anomalopost #opabinia #trilobite #hallucigenia #wiwaxia #canadaspis #pikaia #possible amrev reference

972 notes · View notes

beifong-brainrot · 8 months ago

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I do find it annoying how a lot of Zutara fans tweak the character's stories, personalities and even the timelines to suit their own needs.

Once again, there's nothing wrong with fanon and headcanons, however if looking through the lense of canon, you're objectively wrong.

I ended up stumbling on a post from a Zutara shipper. (At this point I'm regretfully considering not following the tags for Zuko or Katara because I get way too much Zutara content lol) I'm not replying directly to her because I don't want this to turn into an argument, and I know she doesn't take criticism very well.

Ok, So let's break this down.

The character who was first out of the group to trust Zuko?

I'm quite sure this is referring to the scene in Ba Sing Se's caves. And yes, that is a very important scene. I think it's a very important scene preceeding Zuko's 'relapse'. It shows how he's matured during his time in Ba Sing Se and therefore it serves to add to our dismay when he joins Azula. I adore the fact that Zuko's journey to redemption is not linear, it certainly adds a lot to the character and shows us how his trauma affected him.

It's also a horrific moment for Katara. To have her worldview on Zuko and firebenders as a whole challenged, and then for it to go blowing up in her face. It rips open old wounds of her childhood. It refreshes her resentment of Zuko and the Fire Nation as a whole. It parallels the death of her mother when Aang dies due to Azula's lighting and she is unable to do anything about it. It places her back in that spot of helplessness. Even though she's grown up, even though she's a master waterbender, she still comes a hair's breadth to losing one of the most important people in her life.

No wonder she hated Zuko so much after this.

It's an important moment for both characters, but I wouldn't say it is that in a romantic sense. It's a sweet, hopeful moment that then turns absolutely horrific and visceral for both parties.

I could argue that there are other characters who could be given the title of 'first to trust Zuko'. Funnily, Appa being one of them lol.

But other characters trusting Zuko dovetails nicely into the next point.

The character who emotionally connects to Zuko?

Well, technically, I'd argue that most members of the Gaang connect emotionally on one level or another with him?

But I'd argue that Aang is the person Zuko connected with the most. Aang is Zuko's parallel. Aang is the first person to reach out to Zuko. Aang is the person who showed mercy to Zuko, multiple times. Aang is the person who valued Zuko's life, the life of someone whose whole life goal is to capture him.

This was also an incredibly important moment to Zuko. This is the thing he brings up when trying to convince the Gaang to let him join.

Zuko: Why aren't you saying anything? You once said you thought we could be friends. You know I have good in me.

The character Zuko feels safest letting his guard down around?

It's Mai. Love her or hate her, her relationship with Zuko is incredibly important to him. Maiko isn't my favourite Zuko ship, in full honesty. But even platonically, Mai and Zuko are one another's reprieve from their respective shitty lives.

People often talk about Katara touching Zuko's scar while discussing healing his scar, however one could argue that she did so as a medical examination. Mai touching Zuko's scar is a casual thing, neither of them really make a big deal of it and that's the beauty of it.

I'm mainly talking out of my own personal experience, as someone with a huge amount of burn scars, but there is a world of difference between someone inspecting my scars like Katara did and simply accepting them as a part of me, like Mai does for Zuko.

With Mai, Zuko isn't the scarred banished prince, Ozai's son or Azula's brother. He's just Zuko. And they speak freely with one another, arguing like real people do. Often, being comfortable having arguments is actually a sign of being comfortable with one another.

The character who helps Zuko heal from his trauma?

Once again, this is a bit of a flawed question. By the end of the show, Zuko isn't even fully healed, in my opinion. He has made leaps and bounds on the road to recovery, but when he will truly heal if ever is yet to be seen.

Zuko's journey to recovery includes plenty of people. This includes Iroh, Aang, Song and Jin. People who show him the error of his coping mechanism. Who challenge his worldview, who coax him out of the his shell of pain and anger.

The character known for showing most compassion to others?

Yes, Katara's compassion is a huge part of her character. Her need to help and protect those who cannot do that for themselves cannot be understated.

But Aang's compassion for others and all beings is just as great, if not greater than Katara's. Compassion and nonviolence are huge parts of his culture and his own philosophy.

Aang: Wait, we can't just leave him here. Sokka: Sure we can. Let's go. Aang :No, if we leave him he'll die. Aang airbends himself off Appa and retrieves Zuko, bringing him to Appa. Sokka: [Sarcastically.] Yeah, this makes a lot of sense. Let's bring the guy who's constantly trying to kill us.

Friendly reminder that Aang could've absolutely wrecked Ozai, but held back because his own moral compass was so powerful. Hell, he was friendly and nice to Azula, the woman who literally killed him.

This is why Aang and Katara work so well together. They're both incredibly compassionate people who will immediately jump in to help others in need. Like they did during the Painted Lady, destroying the factiry together.

The character who primarily bears the burden of having to step up into a parental role?

I think "parental role" is an incredibly vague term. There's a lot of things that go into a "parental role". Katara plays a stereotypically "maternal" role, while someone who plays a "paternal" one would probably be Sokka.

Katara deals with very "homemaking" tasks like sewing and cooking, etc. And Sokka often takes on the role of leader, hunter, gatherer and also protector, despite being a nonbender.

This coincides nicely with their core childhood traumas. The loss of Katara's mother impacted her greatly, leading her to have to step up into a motherly role. While Sokka was clearly heavily traumatised by his father departing and the crushing responsibility of having to care for his entire village.

Sexism also probably played a part in this dichotomy.

The character who represses their emotions to be strong for others?

I'd argue that this could apply to all the members of the Gaang in some capacity.

Aang's pain is something most of us will never experience and cannot hope to understand. The complete horrific destruction of his culture and home followed him through the entire show. He was entitled to his grief and rage, yet he supressed it. We see during Appa's kidnapping, how easy it would be for Aang to rage, to let himself be destructive. And yet, he wakes up every day and chooses to smile and goof off, because his friends need someone to remind them how to be children.

Sokka puts on a very impressive bravado, despite having a lot of insecurities. However, as the oldest member of the Gaang (pre Zuko) he puts on a facade of the confident and unbothered older brother. Even if he's the butt of almost every joke, he still keeps that demeanour up, letting it slip only a few times.

I'd actually argue that Toph is the person whom this label fits best. While we know Toph as witty, callous and strong, we have to remember that she kept up the facade of her parents' good, helpless little blind girl for no reason other than her mother and father's comfort. She actually hides a lot of her hurt, covering it up with a prickly exterior.

I want to do longer think pieces about Toph and Katara so apologies if this isn't complete.

I'm actually baffled by the idea of Katara repressing her emotions. She's actually quite straightforward and open about her feelings. She yells and feels a lot of emotions and lets them be heard. She gets angry and sad. She's actually kinda bitchy sometimes and that's honestly why I love her so much.

The whole inciting incident of the show was her getting so pissed off she somehow pulls a giant iceberg from the bottom of the sea.

She is anything but repressed.

She is angry.

She's angry at the fire nation, at Sokka, at her father, at men, and with good right to be so.

This is what makes her an amazing character and one who broke the mould of a lot of female characters at the time. Her anger and unrestrained emotions rang true with a lot of watchers at the time. I'm not sure why this is being taken away from her rather than celebrated.

I reiterate the point I made at the beginning of this post: there is nothing wrong with headcanons and fanon interpretations for one's enjoyment. I do find it a bit odd when it changes a character too much (because then, why not just create an oc?) but it's all in good fun. However, you shouldn't push that onto other people and how they perceive canon and you certainly shouldn't use it to take away from other characters. It's a very unfair way of entering discourse.

472 notes · View notes

fanaticsnail · 8 months ago

Note

we love unhinged dirty thoughts >w> they're funnnnn!!!! and aslkdjlkgf if you want my unhinged, tired flavour thought of the day- it is thusly... luffy could ostensibly get off from getting any part of his body being used as a stim chew toy. which is a v v fascinating thought, at least to us >w> - @remisloves

Oh, Remi. I love you. I see your Luffy wanting to be a chew toy and raise you a Kid wanting to be topped and dominated...

Told You You'd Like It

Masterlist Here

Word Count: 1,700+

Synopsis: You suggested something new in the bedroom, and your boyfriend immediately shot it down. You thought that's where the conversation ended, it had now flung from your thoughts never to be thought of by you again. Unbeknownst to you, Eustass Kid was consumed by the thought so much he almost thought on nothing else.

Warnings: Eustass Kid x gn!reader, penetration (reader and Kid receiving), rough smut, anal (Kid receiving), MDNI, 18+, smut, little to no plot, Kid is a switch, dumbification (Kid), Kid is into it.

Notes: I am a little loopy today and thought I'd try something new. Please read the warnings, do not read if it makes you uncomfortable!

Tag list: @sordidmusings @feral-artistry @since-im-already-here @writingmysanity @indydonuts @gingernut1314 @i-am-vita @carrotsunshine @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training

The first time you suggested the idea to him, Eustass Kid scoffed, berated you, and tied you to the bed and showed you exactly who was the dominant one in this relationship. The amount of times he coaxed orgasm after orgasm out of you, putting you in your place as your mind was spared of all thoughts other than how good his hand, lips and cock felt on your skin, had you regret ever suggesting such a notion.

You had assumed the conversation died there: no more offerings of railing Eustass Kid and attempting something new in the bedroom he was yet to experience. Taking that into consideration, you refused to ask him again out of fear of the fact he'd make you cum on his metal hand again.

But then he thought about it more.

The thought alone of being topped, pleasure being pressed into him as he had done so many times before to you, was intriguing. He was wondering how it would feel, having you enter him and stretch his puckered and unexplored hole with your hands or anything else you wanted to try him with.

And then he thought about it even more. Thinking about how it would feel to reach his depths, picturing how hard he would cum, or if he would even cum at all. The curiosity never ceased, and he needed to know exactly how it felt.

As he fucked you with his cock, his hips smacking with your body and watching your ass ripple with every thrust, he could picture nothing else than what it would feel like if you did the same to him.

Would you grip his hips as hard as he gripped yours now? Would you bully his ass the same way that he was bullying you? Would he cry out with his eyes rolling back, contracting around you as you were around his cock now? Would he be loud, biting down on the mattress the same way you were, empty of all other thoughts than the way you'd feel caressing his depths?

“K-Kid I'm gonna-... I'm gonna c-cum-... Please can I cum? Please?” you whimpered, your body twitching and overstimulated as you pulsed over his throbbing shaft. He growled your name, forcing your back into a low arch as he pummeled himself into you harder and deeper.

“Cum, fucking cum now. Cum on my cock,” he barked his order, feeling you ring and contract as you screamed his name through your bliss. He was not far after, painting your insides with ribbons of his cum while whining and panting into your shoulder. He bit down on the back of your neck as he felt his release spurt and splash back within your body.

After spending time tidying, cleaning up your joint release and bringing back you both your favorite drink, he slung his arm loosely around your shoulders and drew you in close to him.

Shifting up to look at him, you study his scarred face and noticed something behind his eyes. His gaze was fixed on the wooden wall in front of him, his lips falling into a line and staring vacantly ahead.

“Are you okay, honey?” your soft question drew him out of his prior hypnosis, his eyes softening with a soothing smile drawing up his lips.

“Yeah, m’alright Sunshine. Don't you worry, alrigh’?” he responded while muffling his voice against your temple, placing a soft kiss atop your skin. Humming against his touch, you lean into his embrace and nuzzle against his bare chest.

“So long as you're sure,” you murmur to your lover, pressing your lips to his clavicle and nestling against him to begin to fall asleep. As your breathing evened, you fell into a soft and blissful slumber, your body spent and finally ushering you into the arms of rest.

Eustass Kid would only dream of being so lucky. No sleep found him as he was consumed by the thoughts of you violating his body, entering his ass and bucking into him with reckless abandon. As the fifth hour of unrest drove him into the wee hours of the dawn, he could no longer stand the thought.

You felt your shoulders shake, waking you from your peace and forcing you to immediately draw up arms and ready yourself for a fight.

“What is it? Pirates, marines, bounty hunters?” you hushed your tone, reaching down and tugging your jacket up to place your arms into, “They above deck? Let's move-.” Kid’s arm clapped around yours, halting you as he gazed intensely into your eyes.

“-I want you to fuck me in the ass,” he said humorlessly and in the absence of all mismeaning. His eyes holding nothing but all sincerity, almost sheepish in asking you such a request as soon as you woke.

After taking a moment, you held your eyes with his and slowly shrugged the jacket from your shoulders and placed it to the side. Deeply inhaling through your nose, you release a lengthy exhale and attempt to collect your thoughts and lower your heartbeat from the earlier adrenaline spike.

“And you couldn't wait until the morning?” you slowly drawled at him, glaring up at him through your eyelashes. He shook his head, offering you a soft pout and widening his eyes innocently. You groan and roll your head on your shoulders in disdain for the lack of a full night's rest.

“Okay,” you nod, gently coaxing him to lie on his back and crawl through his legs, “We'll start small and work our way up to-.”

“-No,” he uttered quietly. You lulled your head to the side, scanning over his face for any inhibitions. Upon finding only a sheepish grimace, his eyes lowered to the ground, and a warm blush rising up his cheeks, you slowly smirk and look down your nose at him with your brow arched high.

When Kid met your eyes once more, the look you had was foreign to him. Looking possessed, consumed with desire and feral with lust, Kid gulped back his nerves and rounded his caramel eyes up at you.

“Alright, pretty boy,” you smirk down at him, giving his chin a gentle tap with your index and middle fingers, “Lay on your stomach and arch your back.” You inched your way off him, aiding him to unceremoniously flip onto his belly. Gifting him an ‘L-shaped’ pillow from your side of the bed, you place his chin in the corner and rest it beneath his arms cradling his chest.

“You're gonna regret not letting me work up to it,” you run your fingers down his spine, halting just above his ass cheeks before you grab at the taut muscles, “But if you're that adamant about it, I'll just go straight in.”

As tears began to sting the corner of his eyes, he bit down on the mattress while feeling your pelvis meet with his in a repetitive buck. You had warmed and stretched him with your fingers as best as you could without his impatience getting the better of him, but as soon as you drew down to the hilt, it was like a switch had been flipped inside Eustass Kid.

He couldn't think, breathe or move without feeling how far his body stretched to accommodate your actions. Each cruel piston felt all too foreign, but oh so good. He was drunk on the feeling, his body completely dominated and relaxing beneath each thrust and grind.

Kid whined your name, groaning into the pillow while biting down hard on the plush material. Reaching further depths than he could ever dream, his eyes began to roll as the blunt tip hit his prostate and had his cock twitch in the approach of ecstasy.

“You're doing so well, honey,” you praised him, gripping his hips and bucking in harder to perpetually hit that sweet spot deep in his abdomen. You rake your blunt nails over his hip and down to circle around his painfully hard cock, choking the tip before pistoning the shaft in the same motion you fucked his ass with.

Kid couldn't grace you with an answer, his mind finding itself vacant and jaw falling slack, as he drooled onto the flush material. His body began to contract, his balls lifting flush against his abdomen as his cock twitched in your palm.

He couldn't warn you, his body immediately betraying him by snapping that coil deep within the pit of his stomach and spurting his seed in hot ropes of translucent release. His whined and strangled cry had you smile down at him. The tension on his shoulders fell slack as his body gave into the feeling of being completely spent.

Eustass Kid had never cum so hard and long in his life. Each time he thought his orgasm was close to concluding, another twitching wave shifted through him and pulsed through his cock in a spurt of viscous cum. He felt so full, so complete and stuffed to the brim and he couldn't get enough.

The duvet beneath him was coated in the sheen of his cum, just as your palm was painted by his dribbling knob. His asshole twitched around you, still sheathed all the way to your abdomen and taking all you had given him.

“You okay down there, honey?” you cooed down at him, feeling his cock still twitching in your hand as his shaft rapidly deflated. He couldn't nod, couldn't breath or speak without it coming out in incoherent babbling and mumbles.

All you offered him while inching out of him was a simple phrase whispered into his ear with a gentle kiss on his cheek, “I fucking told you you'd like it.”

He offered a soft grunt in response, burying his blushing face into the pillow to hide his bashfulness. You hummed down in glee, crawling off him and beginning to ready several items to clean both of you up with, just as he did for you hours earlier.

As you returned back to the room, all you could see was your hulking boyfriend laying flat on his back and haphazardly tucked into the duvet: face flushed, eyes peacefully shut, and a soft smile drawn up onto his lips.

You would look forward to topping him again, and again, and again: never ceasing to tire from the overstimulated little whines and mewls from him each time you made him cum by fucking his ass.

There was no denying it now. Eustass Kid enjoyed himself too much to let the situation never occur again. His sheepish grin, innocent rounded eyes, and biting his lips to stifle a blush was all you needed to see to know he wanted it. And you were more than happy to oblige him each time he was consumed with the need.

#one piece #x reader #one piece x reader #one piece smut #gn!reader #x gn!reader #eustass kid #eustass kid x reader #eustass kid x gn!reader #eustass captain kidd #kid #op kid #one piece kid #one piece x reader smut

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stormz369 · 4 months ago

Text

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 6

Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

warnings: tense conversation ahead, reader character has more loyalty than sense

word count: 1.8k

Chapter Selection

“Umm, why is Bruce Wayne requesting a table in your section?”

My head snapped up from the silverware I was rolling to meet Edna's eyes. “... Me?”

“Yeah, you! What's going on?” She leaned in conspiratorially; “you're not in any kind of trouble, are you?”

I laughed a bit awkwardly. “Not that I know of.”

“Hm… well, he's at table 6, so …” she waved me off.

I grabbed a pen and rushed over. Bruce Wayne was an imposing man up close. He looked a lot like Jason actually, and I had to remind myself that Jay was adopted. He followed me with his eyes as I approached; an intimidating, emotionless stare.

Before I could open my mouth, he spoke my name. Not a question, a matter of fact, as if we'd met before. “... Um … yes, sir. That’s me. … Can I get you started with anything?”

“Just a coffee please. And when you have a minute, get one for yourself and join me.”

I nodded slowly and went to tell the shift manager that I needed a quick break. The diner was practically empty at this time of night, so he gave me minimal shit for it, and I took the coffees back to the table. Mr. Wayne gestured for me to take a seat across from him.

“… I'm sorry we're meeting this way, but it became … necessary.”

“... Necessary, sir?”

“Please, call me Bruce. … Um, yes; it seems my children have been a bit … overzealous in protecting their brother, and you are owed an apology.”

I blinked repeatedly. “... S- sorry?”

He sighed softly. “I believe you met Dick and Tim?” I nodded. “Dick informed me that you've been dating Jason, and … last night I discovered that Tim has taken it upon himself to run a background check on you.”

I blinked slowly. “Oh … Well, I guess that makes sense. Your family is well known, it's logical to want to know exactly who's getting close to you.”

Bruce stared at me, raising an eyebrow ever so slightly as I awkwardly sipped my coffee. “... You aren't upset?”

“I mean, it's definitely weird to hear, but I can't say I'm surprised. When I realized who I was talking to it did seem probable that something like this would eventually happen. … Anything interesting in the report?”

“... All pretty standard stuff. … It said you dropped out of college, may I ask why?”

I shrugged. “Life got in the way, and I didn't know for sure what I wanted to study. Couldn't justify the expense anymore if I didn't have a clear trajectory.”

“The Wayne Foundation has a higher education fund, I'm sure you would qualify for a scholarship.”

“That's kind of you, but once again - unsure what path to pursue. That money would be better spent on people who do know what they want from school.”

He observed me for a moment. “... Interesting. … Well, nevertheless; on behalf of my boys, I'd like to offer you our sincerest apologies. They know they've crossed the line, and have been reprimanded accordingly.”

“I … thank you, I guess? But I don't think I'm the one who needs the apology.”

“No? Your privacy was invaded.”

I shrugged. “They haven't bothered me since introducing me to Jay, which I already forgave them for because … well, it gave me Jay. But from what I've heard they've been doing more than the usual amount of protective-sibling stuff towards him, and he's getting frustrated about it. Seems like he's the one who'd want to know they're going to stop.”

Bruce nodded once, seeming to be deep in thought. “... Jason-”

“Wants to know what exactly you're doing here, Bruce.” I nearly jumped out of my skin. I hadn’t seen or heard him approach, but Jason was suddenly looming over the table, glowering at the man across from me.

“Jesus! … Jason, what the hell?” I cautiously reached for his hand, hoping to calm him down a bit.

His demeanor shifted entirely when he turned to face me. The sharp anger in his face slipped away as our eyes met, and the faintest hint of a smile slid across his lips. He gently stroked my knuckles with his thumb, turning fully toward me.

“Hey Doll~”Jason leaned over me, gently cupping my cheek with the tips of his fingers. “How’s my favorite girl?”

I blushed bright red, unable to stop the grin that spread across my face. No one had ever been so openly affectionate with me in public before, and while we had made some progress in the casual touching department, this was the first time he'd touched my face. I could feel Bruce's eyes on us, but mine were transfixed by the look on Jason's face. There was something in his eyes I'd never seen before; he looked focused and determined, but for the life of me I couldn't guess what he was determined about.

“I … I'm good. … What are you doing here?”

“Just taking out some trash, darling.” He smirked a bit.

“Jason, really, I wish you would calm down.” Bruce's sharp stare was trained firmly on the back of Jason's head. “Dick said you've been dating this nice girl for months, so I wanted to meet her. If you aren't going to tell me these things yourself, and you clearly aren't going to bring her by the manor, you can't be surprised when I eventually take matters into my own hands.”

“Don’t you know better than to harass pretty girls at work, Bruce? Someone should have taught you better.”

The atmosphere had been tense in the first place, but now it was frigid. I gently squeezed Jason's hand, frowning. “Honey, that was uncalled for. He's not harassing me, he just came to apologize for your brothers.”

Jason growled a bit; “They have mouths, they can apologize for themselves.”

I sighed softly, gently cupping his hand on my cheek. “Jay, … why don't you take a seat at that table,” I pointed to one a little bit away; “and when my shift is over we'll go home.”

He frowned; “no, I'm staying right here.”

“Jason, you're going to get me fired if you keep bothering the customers, which is exactly what Bruce is right now.”

“You don't need this job, I'll-”

“I'm gonna stop you right there. This is not 50 Shades of Gotham, you are not my sugar daddy, and we are not married. You are not going to be paying my rent any time soon. If you want to watch over me you can take a seat. Otherwise I can give you my keys and you can wait for me at my place, or you can find somewhere else to be for now and I'll call you when I get off.”

A look of annoyance flashed across his face, and for a moment the green flecks in his eyes seemed more prominent than usual. “... If he says or does anything you don't like…”

“You'll be my knight in shining … denim. I know~” I turned my head a bit to kiss his palm. “Go on, now~ I'll come over as soon as I can.”

Slowly, he stepped back, letting his hand drop to his side. Glaring at Bruce the whole way, he took a seat at a nearby table, and Edna went over to take his order. Bruce looked me over, a curious expression on his face.

“... That was … interesting.” He mused, sipping his coffee.

“I’m sure he didn't mean what he said. He gets a bit defensive when Dick and Tim bother him about us too, but once he's had a minute to process he always realizes they're just trying to be brotherly … in a weird, slightly overbearing way.”

“Oh, that was all par for the course. No, what's interesting is how readily he backed down. It usually takes him hours to calm down enough to be rational when he's upset with one of us. …”

I clenched my jaw. Jason hadn't told me much about his family, but I knew they had a tense relationship, and I felt like I was starting to see why. “... It probably helps that I'm not treating him like he's being irrational. I don't know the full story, but I do know that something in his life taught him that you showing up here is a threat of some kind. A threat he felt he had to come here to protect me from. And while I'm sure that’s not what you mean by it, I also know that telling him he's wrong won't solve anything. He doesn't trust based on words, he trusts based on actions. I don't know what actions of yours have taught him this about you, but here we are. So if playing the protective boyfriend role helps him to feel safe, I'm not going to belittle him for that. And if you are, then I don't think we have anything else to say to each other… Sir.”

Bruce watched me through my whole rant, a detached look on his face almost like he was gathering evidence. It would be unsettling if I wasn't already seething inside. After a moment he smiled softly, finishing his coffee.

“... I'm glad he found you.”

“... You're … glad?” I blinked slowly. After all I just said, I hadn't expected to hear that…

“Yes. I think you'll be good for him… I do hope you'll consider coming to the manor for dinner one of these days; I know the boys met you briefly, but the others are curious as well. Particularly since Damian spoke so highly of you.”

“... He did?”

Bruce nodded. “... In his way. He said you strike a fair bargain.”

“I see … Well, meeting everyone will depend mostly on Jason. I'm not opposed, but I'm also not going to push him. You shouldn't either.”

“... Damian was right.” Bruce smiled a little, sliding a business card across the table to me. “Please do call if I can do anything for you, or for Jason. He … he doesn't reach out to us very often, even when he probably should. … I worry.”

I took the card, nodding slowly. This was definitely the weirdest interaction I'd ever had in my entire life. “... Alright. I'll do that.”

Bruce dropped far more money on the table than was necessary for two coffees -for a moment I wondered if he even knew how much two coffees cost- and made his way to the door. In the next instant, Jason was crouching next to the table beside me.

“Babe?” He frowned, looking at the card in my hand. “… He gave you his personal line. … What did he say?”

“... Apparently Damian likes me?”

He chuckled a bit breathlessly. “... Of course the demon child likes you… what else?”

I stood, pocketing the card. “... My shift is over in an hour. Do you want to wait for me? We'll talk after.”

He groaned softly; “you’re really gonna make me wait?”

“We'll get those doughnuts you like on the way home.” I gently squeezed his hand. He sighed softly, but smiled, lifting my hand to his lips.

“You’re torturing me, Doll…”

Next ->

Divider by: @saradika

Taglist (open):

@jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona @mystic60 @iwannabealocalcryptid @morstuavitamea-a

(if you are in the taglist and are not getting notifications, please let me know - some of the tags keep looking different from the others and I'm not sure if it's affecting anything ... 🤔)

#fanfic #fanfiction #dc fanfic #jason todd #red hood x reader #dc #first person pov #no y/n #wayne family adventures #Can I Get Your Number?

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kikitakite · 8 months ago

Note

I saw your callout in the Gale tag for that one user (no comment on them, tho ty for the callout bc i'd seen them in the notes of my fics) and was curious if you could elaborate on some of the Mystra incidents you described towards the end of the post? I'm new to the lore of the setting and find it hard to research (which makes sense given its importance to dnd), so I've heard a lot of conflicting things about Mystra's portrayal in the wider series. No pressure, obviously!

No problem! And yea, I've seen her arguing in the posts of a few people I follow or just Gale-related posts I find interesting. Usually I don't get involved in stuff like this, but I noticed a constant pattern and then all the homophobic shit so I went off a little.

Unfortunately it's hard to find exact examples of the Mystra lore because certain modules aren't very popular or even free to access, but if you're interested the best way to learn about her is by reading the Elminster novels. There's twelve total, dating all the way back to 1994, and they detail Elminster's adventures. I'll be honest though, some of them are a hard read and written through the lens of a man who's admitted very creative, but also has a lot of problematic ideas.

In the first book Elminster is a child. His entire town gets wiped out by mages, thereby making him hostile toward magic. He sneaks into Mystra's temple to deface her statue one night, but she appears before him and basically gaslights him into learning magic and becoming her rare Chosen. He becomes a wizard and cleric basically overnight, until eventually he multiclasses into pretty much every class type in DnD. As you can imagine a lot of players aren't too fond of Elminster, as he's a well known self-insert of the author and pretty annoying to run into during campaigns. None of my dungeon masters like him anyway.

He also becomes one of Mystra's most loyal followers, but she fucks with him over and over, turning him into a woman to teach him a lesson and SLEEPING with him in that form, berating him when he struggles with the torture he endures when he gets stuck in the hells, making him reproduce without his knowledge and getting jealous when he gives his partners more attention. Because she's a very jealous goddess, which I think the game vaguely touches on but not really.

I wish I had the time to flip through all the novels and give exact citations but the best I can do is suggest them, because they're so eye opening. She's considered a neutral good goddess, but neutral gods often do terrible things for the sake of their domain. I think it needs to be noted that Mystra, as with all gods in the pantheon, only cares about her portfolio. She isn't wrong for that, but it doesn't mean she's blameless when she messes with people's lives. She's done a lot of good but she's also made horrible decisions, especially where her followers are concerned.

For example, Elminster having children he doesn't know about. He has a daughter named Narnra. Her conception was... pretty fucked up. Basically a song dragon named Ammaratha Cyndusk was an occasional lover of Elminster's (he has a lot of those because of course he does) and she wanted to bear his child, but since he's a Chosen of Mystra he can control his fertility. Magic birth control, basically. He didn't want a kid so Ammaratha went behind his back to learn a counterspell that would make him fertile during sex. The man she asked refused to teach her because...duh that's messed up, but then Mystra intervened and told him to teach her the spell because she wanted Elminster's "seed to spread". Ammaratha never told him and neither did Mystra. No matter what the reasons, that was NOT consensual on Elminster's part, and it happened two more times, resulting in two more daughters with different women. If I remember correctly Elminster did eventually find out waaaaay later when they were all adults, but it never amounted to anything.

The sisters I was taking about are the Seven Sisters, Mystra's "daughters". And I put "daughters" in quotations because Mystra possessed the body of a woman named Elué and impregnated her without her consent. She slept with the woman's husband (again, while possessing her body) and made them sire seven children. This of course lead to Elué's death because the constant flow of magic in her body was too much for her to handle. Her grieving husband broke after she died and eventually left, abandoning his daughters and earning Mystra's scorn...as if he was in the wrong. The sisters were then orphaned and raised by foster families.

That said, most of the awful things anyone can say about Mystra were the doings of her previous incarnations so ultimately it doesn't apply to the Mystra of BG3. In fact, this third Mystra is supposed to be a new and improved goddess who's nicer to her followers. So her portrayal in BG3 annoyed a lot of DnD fans. I should also point out that Mystra has two types of fans: ones who will defend everything she does, even when it's fucked up beyond all comprehension, and the ones who will tell you she's a true neutral goddess capable of good and bad. I'm the latter. There are plenty examples of Mystra sticking her neck out for innocents, but there's also examples of her doing the most horrendous shit imaginable.

A lot of veteran players, at least the ones I know, are upset with the portrayal of Mystra in BG3 because her plan to end the Absolute is, quite frankly, stupid. Your party is the best chance anyone has of ending the threat, but she asks Gale to nuke himself and possibly tens of thousands, which makes no sense because she could've just sent her mages/clerics to deal with the problem. And there was no guarantee the bomb would've worked anyway. She put all the responsibility on one man and it DEFINITELY comes off as vindictive. That isn't out if character for her but she's not SUPPOSED to be that bad anymore. For a lot of DnD players it felt like she was reverting back to her old habits.

I think there's also a part in the game where you can directly ask Gale why she doesn't just blip the Absolute out of existence and he says something like, "She could but Ao won't allow it." That was also really strange for a lot of veteran players to hear because Gale drops Ao's name like it's nothing. Most people (especially if they're new to the franchise) wouldn't know this but most people in Faerûn don't know who Ao is! Because he wiped people's memories of his existence! I suppose it does make sense for Gale to know that name, since Mystra probably explained the pantheon to him, but it's VERY unlikely tav would know it. So during that conversation all I could picture was tav tilting their head like, "Huh? Who? Whaaa?"

And on top of that......Ao absolutely WOULD allow it because the Absolute effects the Weave and every other god! It had the potential to ruin the balance of the universe, which makes Ao a very angry boy. Balance is one of the ONLY things he cares about. The Dead Three were stealing souls and worshippers, which gods needs to survive, and dying gods disrupts the balance. It's a whole circle of chaos. So the only conclusion left for me to extrapolate is this: Mystra just really, really wanted Gale to kill himself to prove his devotion to her. Which...isn't great. Bad look for her.

It's kind of like how Raphael thinks the Crown of Karsus is going to help him end the Blood War and take over the hells. DnD players laughed during his epilogue because...no it won't lol. He doesn't stand a chance even with the crown. He's arrogant and he's gonna get slapped by his daddy and all the other archdevils, the same way Gale gets slapped by Mystra if he ascends. Even the Absolute ending of the game wouldn't last long because the gods would go to war with the Dead Three, wipe them out and rebuild Faerûn, which has happened many times in past DnD campaigns. Mystra alone has torn worlds apart and glued them back together. The main crisis of BG3 is saving the world you live in or everybody dies. For the gods it's just a Tuesday. I mean look at how Withers owns the Dead Three with a wave of his hand at the end of the game. Mystra COULD'VE killed the Absolute, just as she could've removed the orb from Gale's chest the moment it happened. She just didn't WANT to. She wanted him to die. She wanted him to chastise himself. She wanted him to suffer and come crawling back to her as an obedient follower. She wanted him to learn a harsh and honestly unfair lesson, which is a terrible throwback to her previous incarnations.

#mystra #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #elminster #dnd #dungeons and dragons #raphael

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uplatterme · 2 years ago

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aether and kaveh look like disney princesses i wanna fuck the shit out of

there is no need for elaboration

-🪸

—okay. you’ve got me hooked. rapunzel!aether in part 2! (tba)

—cinderella!kaveh/royalty!reader, sub!bottom!kaveh/top!dom!reader, amab!reader (referred with they/them pronouns) | cinderella au, semi-public sex, quickie, clothed sex, cum as lube, porn with actual plot (don’t let the tags fool u, this is so fucking soft)

You completely regret hosting this party.

It was something that your advisor had tasked you to do. Host a party, find a suitable partner, get an heir so the kingdom has someone to depend on, blah blah blah.

It’s not like you were even that old.

You sigh, a cigarette on your lips as you lay your back on the wall of the balcony. So many folks festering you, for that chance that you’ll somehow hand them their crown.

Your head aches at the number of conversations you have had to endure just to be polite, the amount of times you’ve had to shake off someone from hugging your arm without your consent.

“Oh, fuck!” You hear someone yelp.

And while the owner of this voice sounds overly anxious, you can’t help but want to hear it again, especially with the polite wording that the attendees have used to butter you up. someone swearing right in front of you catches your interest.

Hands reach the bottom of the balcony, and someone lifts their body up to get on the platform.

“Oh god, why is the entrance so crowded?” The person says.

Your ears perk up at that.

“Well, their highness did host it. it’s been a while since such an event has happened.” You answer.

The figure flinches, turning their attention to you.

Your mouth gapes as you finally see who that voice belonged to. Everything about him is enticing that you can’t help but to drown in his gaze.

He’s properly dressed as well, although not anything overwhelming to the eyes.

Now, which family had been hiding such a prince from you?

“Ah sorry, I didn’t realize someone was here.” He quickly apologizes. His cheeks flush, not expecting someone to catch him climbing up a balcony.

“You’re more than welcome to stay.” You offer, craving more of him.

He shakes his head, much to your disappointment.

“I’m actually here for something else.” he says.

You hum. “Also aiming for the heart of their highness, then?”

Take it, unknown prince.

“What?! N-No, not at all!” He screams in reply. “I mean, I'd be flattered if their highness even finds me a bit intriguing.”

“Have you met them?” You ask.

“Oh. I haven’t really got the time for that.” He answers, although he seems to be in a melancholy thought when he does.

Still, you breathe at his beauty. You think you can stare at him for your whole life.

You quickly try to change the topic.

“So, what are you here for?”

He points behind you.

You turn your head back but what faces you is nothing but the empty hallway.

“Sorry?” You question.

“The castle.”

His answers just keep surprising you.

He blushes, rubbing his arm as he paces around the small space of the balcony.

“You’re interested in the architecture?”

As soon as you mention that, he brightens up. “Yes! From what I've seen, it’s alright.”

You feel offended. It is your castle, one for which you’ve decided most of the structure. He seems to notice his mistake as he panics.

“But don’t tell anyone that! Especially not their highness…”

You grin.

“Perhaps, the inside can change your mind?”

“Inside? I don’t think we’re allowed—”

“If we don’t get caught, it’s fine, right?”

“Yes, but—”

You grab the stranger’s hand and lead him inside, he stumbles in after you, the warmth in your hand startling him.

You bring him into different rooms, hoping that one of them will at least suit his taste.

“This?”

“It’s a bit cramped, the furniture set is going against the wallpaper.”

You roll your eyes, he’s so damn picky. That, or you’re just really bad at interior decorating.

Still, you smile at every single word he says. Being royalty, you have no damn clue what he’s saying. But with that pretty voice of his, you could listen to it for hours.

“Don’t you think you’re being a bit too harsh? What if their highness were merely shown bad choices by their architects?” You say, hoping that wouldn’t risk the random attendee persona that you’re playing at the moment.

“If that’s true, they should’ve fired those architects.” He states confidently.

You laugh. “And what, hire you instead?”

He purses his lips, he didn’t expect you to get that so easily.

He stays silent.

“Do you want to?” You ask.

“Get hired?” The look on his face is so innocent like he can’t even believe that you’re asking such a thing. As if the answer is painfully obvious.

You shake your head.

“To build a castle.”

He stares at you dumbfounded. His eyes glimmer as he grabs your hands and does so aggressively. You don’t mind even a second of it.

“Are you fucking crazy? T-That’s like my dream!” He admits. He’s smiling widely, his face nothing but only a few centimeters away from you.

He starts babbling about the materials he’ll make it with, the different types of rooms and decorations he’ll add. He’s so damn fascinating, you don’t even care about the speech that you’re supposed to give by midnight.

It’s like he has planned this for a long time. Everything he says is so intricate. His hands move as if he’s drawing it, he’s a bit shaky but it’s obvious that it’s from excitement. To your amazement, the way he describes everything makes it seem as if you’re actually in that castle in your head.

Once he realizes how much he’s talking, he stutters an apology.

“Sorry! It’s just that no one has ever asked me about this, I mean at home I—”

“Okay. I’ll give that to you.” You reply genuinely, your eyes are focused on his soft lips.

His chest heaves and his golden eyelashes flutter with grace…just looking at you.

“You know that’s impossible. I’m not even a professionally licensed architect.”

“It’s not.”

You’ll make it happen, even if your advisor goes against it. It doesn’t matter if you have to demolish the entire castle you’re in right now.

“It is! You’re just flattering me, I get it. You’ve been nothing but nice to me, but you don’t have to promise and lie to about such things.”

“I mean it.” You say it so sternly that he almost starts believing it.

He sighs deeply. “Going to this party is already a dream come true. There was this little green fairy with white hair, I—”

The words slip out of your mouth, cutting off whatever stupid things he has to say.

“Meeting you is a dream come true.”

The next few moments are a blur. Your hands are all over the unknown stranger. Fuck, it’s as if you’ve been hit with a love spell. You want to keep kissing his mouth, tell him that he has nothing to worry about when you’re with him. That you’ll do anything he asks.

Your prince whines and the sound has you going insane.

You want more.

You’ve gotten so addicted easily that your mind is insatiable.

It doesn’t matter that the room is left unlocked, no one is going to keep your hands off him.

“Hah—God!” He breathes enticingly. His mind is so hazy, so weak at how his heart is pounding each second.

You take off his coat, the clothing echoes as it falls down on the floor. His blouse is silk and you swear you can see the way his chest is lined underneath the white cloth.

Your fingers rubbed his hardened nipples and his entire body shivers. He holds onto your shoulders for support, the aroused moan that escapes his throat is just enough for you to keep doing it, and so you do.

“W-Wait! I-I’ll—” He pushes you for a moment, to take a breath as he slowly composes himself.

You watch him impatiently. You can see how his cock twitches from his tight pants, the wet spot in the center, and his dick dripping from precum as the white liquid seeps through it.

You keep your hands inside your pocket. Despite how your pants are perfectly fitted for you, your cock is begging for warmth, specifically from the blonde stranger in front of you.

He then nods.

“I’m okay…we can continue.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t have any—”

“I can take it. It’s fine.” He says as if he’s in a hurry. You’re not sure if it's just because he’s needy or if it’s something else.

You still indulge in his wants, however.

You’ll have to make do with his own fluids although you really don’t want to do anything that’ll hurt him.

Your fingers steadily prepare his walls and you’re trying your best to not be greedy. His needs first, more than anything.

He’s so damn tight, not that you need to worry much as the sounds he’s making are signaling everything but pain.

He’s so soft and so perfect that you’re starting to get jealous of even your own fingers.

“Are you..?”

He nods, and desire fills his eyes. It looks like you’re not the only one getting impatient.

When you finally feel his insides with your cock, the expectations you had were completely blown out of the water. Your hands find their way to his waist and it’s perfect.

The first thrust is enough to send you to heaven.

“Keep going.” He pleads.

You continue to pound into him, enjoying how each one brings out a soft mewl from the blonde.

His cock is dripping white on the floor, and the carpet gets soaked. You know you need to get that replaced but instead, you want to keep the stain there, as if some kind of trophy.

And while you stir up his insides, a familiar noise bothers your ears.

You don’t let it even phase you, enjoying the pleasure that’s eating you up.

However, your prince decides otherwise.

“H-Hold on! What was that—”

“Just the clock. You don’t need to bother yourself with it.”

A groan escapes your throat, feeling how he tenses up all of the sudden.

“Is it twelve?” He asks.

“N-No, but it’s close. Five more minutes.”

“I need to go.” He says.

No way was he leaving you like this.

“What?”

“I’m so sorry, but I—” His words are cut off by his moaning.

The way you fill him up has him salivating. You didn’t even move but god, his walls clenching on you are betraying his choices right now.

“T-Three minutes.” He whimpers out.

“Thank you, love.”

Your fingers feel up his cock, stroking it up and down while still continuing to pound ruthlessly. He continues to scream out, his mind too overwhelmed from getting his ass and cock ravaged at the same time.

His legs quiver and you have to hold him still. You’re both close and you’ll make sure to have him finish in time at least.

“F-Fuck!” He sobs.

And the worries in your head disappear, cumming inside his walls as he splatters more onto the carpet.

You sigh, your chest thumping as you stand there with your clothes a mess.

He quickly slides off you, trembling but still hastily moving as if the adrenaline has gotten into his head.

“I-I’m so sorry, I’ll try to get in contact with you again. I swear!” He stammers out before fixing his clothes, nearing the doorway.

“Don’t go through the balcony! There’s an exit to the right of this room!” You say, helping him out despite your wishes to keep him here.

“Thanks!” He shouts back.

You swipe the sweat on your forehead, zipping your pants back on.

The clock chimes as it signals it’s midnight. What a fucking way to end the night.

You hear rushed steps from the hallway.

Your attention turns to the door. Did he come back?

Your disappointment is immeasurable when you find out it’s just your advisor.

“Your highness! I’ve been looking everywhere, you’re late for your speech—Oh my god, what did you—No, who did you?!” She looks disappointed.

You look down. Ah, right.

Who?

Oh fuck, you never got his name.

“I didn’t ask. Oh no.” The realization slowly sets in.

“Excuse me?!” Your advisor answers offended by your words. You can tell how stressed she’s been, her teal hair in a mess.

“I’ll be right there. Let me clean up first, Ma’am”

“I’ll get everyone distracted. Jeez, young ones these days!” She says before rushing away.

The urge to punch the wall in front of you right now is high.

You look at the floor and notice the coat on the floor.

It smells just like him.

You lay your head on the cold table, mind filled with everything but your duties. The only thing that’s engraved in there is nothing but the sweet prince you met a while ago.

But no matter how many times you’ve gone through portraits of different royal families, even going through the nobles, you’re not met with a match.

“Your Highness. I see you’ve been distracted again.”

“Madame Faruzan, I cannot do this anymore.” You tell her wholeheartedly.

Your advisor rolls her eyes.

“Right after I caught you and that whole mess, you should be working.”

“He’s a great guy! He’s skilled with his hands.” You argue with her.

“I do not need to hear what he did with you.”

“That’s not what I meant! He’s an architect, he’s good! I’ve heard how he works, I’ll vouch for him.”

“You’re biased. Something that a ruler should not have. I told you this when you were younger.” She warns you.

It seems that she won’t hear you out no matter how hard you try.

“I really cannot focus.” You say.

It’s the truth. You’ve been sleeping with that coat for weeks, along with other things. As if it’s actually him to begin with.

“If he’s such a great architect, then why don’t you work with that?”

An idea enters your head.

“Ma’am, you’re a genius.”

“Of course.” She says confidently with a smile.

She shakes the compliment off, lord knows she's the smartest person you’ve ever met.

“So? What’s your verdict?” She asks.

A day after, a letter was sent out to the people of your kingdom.

Needless to say, everyone was freaking out.

“Goodness, that’s a big deal. Isn’t it?”

“Right! That’s a big opportunity.”

The entire market was in an uproar as Kaveh shops for his family. He couldn’t care any, especially not with the consequences he faced from being caught out late in the night. They never knew that he went to the party, but he’s sure his snarky scholar of a step-sibling knows.

“Oh, Kaveh.” A friendly face greets him.

“Miss Nilou.”

She smiles at him,

“Are you participating?”

The confused face of Kaveh is enough for Nilou to shake the soul out of him.

“You have to! Their highness is currently looking for an architect to turn the whole castle into something new!”

Kaveh’s eyes widen. “…Actually?”

“Yes! Oh, you have to hurry! It’s only up till today!” She brings it up, and Kaveh rushes home as fast as he can.

It’s almost like a dream come true.

First, that little green fairy that gave him the opportunity to attend the party in the first place. Then, that person he met at the said party who he flushes at every time he thinks of them. And now, this?

He almost tears the whole place down from searching for his plates.

Kaveh compiles it in an envelope. He feels rewarded as if everything that he’s gone through has finally led up to something.

“Fuck! Where is it?” He’s missing a folder.

Technically, what he’s giving is already more of what was asked for. Still, the perfectionist in him cannot stand to not have everything in its place, especially not with the opportunity that he was presented with.

A knock comes from his door and he flinches, his family cannot know about this. They’ll get rid of it again.

“It’s just me.” He relaxes, rolling his eyes before turning back.

“Asshole,” Kaveh says.

“After I saw your folder in the living room and kept it? Alright, I’ll guess I’ll throw it out.” Al-Haitham replies sarcastically.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I kept it for a reason. I wouldn’t throw it out now.” Kaveh forcefully takes out the folder and shoves it into his envelope.

He wants to say thanks, but his pride is too high for that.

“Be home before your curfew, I won’t cover for you.” Al-Haitham says.

Kaveh knows that he will despite the annoying tone that he’s using.

He runs to the front of the castle as fast as he can, his legs were not made out for this kind of journey. Still, he won’t give up.

He reaches the gates luckily, just an hour before the deadline.

Now, all he had to do was wait.

“We got a lot of submissions…and most of them are barely even considered actual pieces. I mean, look at this. Who would turn a castle into a teapot?” Faruzan complains, searching through the different envelopes.

You take a look at the amount and you couldn’t help but agree more. It’s absurd.

“Everyone who’s a licensed architect can be thrown away.” You ordered.

“Did I hear that correctly?” She eyes you as if you’re crazy.

You are.

“It’s fine, I have faith in him.”

After that, the submissions are lessened quite easily. While there were some that had fit up to the standards, they weren’t simply what you were looking for.

You remember every single thing he said, if you could just match that up with an envelope then you’ll be fine.

“We have two left.” Your advisor states.

Two names in front of you. One was named ‘Albedo’ and the other one was named ‘Kaveh’. You hesitate to open, the anxiety that he never heard of this competition or that you have sorted away his piece is eating you.

Your advisor notices this and gives one of her very rare encouragement.

“You said you have faith.”

You sigh, trying to calm down.

“I do.” You say it just loud enough to believe it.

You and Faruzan both take one, opening them at the same time.

Your hands shake as you do.

This ‘Albedo’ is good. God, it’s gorgeous. Though what he’s sent out are more artistic than they are architectural, you can see the vision that he’s presenting, it’s something you think your mystery man would find great fun studying.

You literally cannot do this.

You only had one chance left.

It’s this or nothing.

Faruzan holds your hand while you go through his envelope. It’s breathtaking, it’s almost as what you imagined that time Kaveh was talking to you were right here, laid out perfectly.

“Kaveh.” The name sounds so sweet on your tongue.

Finally.

You dress up in a nice outfit, sitting on the carriage’s seat, trying your best not to scream. You could have gotten the wrong person, but you’re sure that this Kaveh is him.

You’re not accompanied by anyone except your coachman. You’ve asked him “if you’re there yet” about five times.

You bury your face in your hands. This is fine, you’ll be fine.

You almost smack your head face-first on the seat when the carriage comes to a stop without any warning.

The door opens for you.

You hear the gossiping of the people around you and you give them that perfect smile you’ve been taught to do even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

There’s a person by the door. One who’s certainly not the one you met at the party.

“Hello.” You greet.

“Your highness.” He replies, bowing his head.

There is an awkward silence between the two of you. It is clear that neither of you likes talking.

“I’m looking for—”

“Kaveh, I presume?”

You nod nervously.

He opens the door and shouts, an annoyed response can be heard from the outside.

Everything’s fine, you rule this kingdom. If it’s another person, you can just bomb the whole place away!

The joking in your head does not make it any better.

“I swear this better be important, I was busy—” He stops talking as soon as he meets with your eyes.

There’s a flushed look on his face that matches yours.

“Oh. It’s you…”

There come the gasps from around you.

“He did not just call them that.”

“How disrespectful!”

“Right?!”

You cough, unsure how to state why you’re here. You just hand him the contract.

He shakes as he reads it.

“What…?”

“I told you that I’ll build you a castle.” You remind him.

Kaveh remembers and you can see everything click right in his face. He’s very expressive, not that you were a stranger to that.

“Y-Your Highness.” He stutters.

You wonder if it’s appropriate to go down on your knee.

Fuck it. You can have Madame Faruzan reprimand you later.

The people watching scream in shock as you go down on one knee.

“Now that we have that out of the way…Will you do me the honor of ruling by your side?”

Please say yes, please say yes, please say—

“What?!” Kaveh yells at you.

“G-Get up! Oh my god, your highness!” He tells you.

“I’m not standing up unless you say yes.”

The man you talked to previously whistles before heading inside the house. Kaveh glares at him, he did just not leave him in a situation like this.

“I’m serious, Kaveh.”

“You’re crazy.” He says.

“I know.” You look up to him hopefully.

He’s so red, it’s almost painful to look at. Not that you were any different from his case.

“I—Alright! Yes! So stand up already, your cape is getting dirty and everyone’s looking so—”

You pull Kaveh down by his collar, drowning in his sweet familiar lips.

#plattered writings #dom reader #sub genshin impact #dom!reader #sub genshin #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #kaveh x reader #sub kaveh #sub!kaveh #sub kaveh x reader #thirsts for blake

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medicinemane · 9 months ago

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And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"

I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse

And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa

And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house

I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished

...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)

And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff

There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government

No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)

Like have some accountability there and in every situation

Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free

If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off

I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)

But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced

Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around

I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)

...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change

(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)

(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)

#anyway; if I'm a lousy cheat or whatever least they can do is give me a gun so I can solve that problem #shit makes me wish I was canadian so I could take advantage of their sick implementation of assisted suicide #what should be a system that gives people a choice about the quality of their life; and I don't think should be relegated to terminal illne #...there was... think he was dutch; had been burned by his girlfriend all over his body; was in constant pain #and he ended up using assisted suicide in the end cause he was just in constant agony... think that's his choice to make #but of course the canadian system concretely pushes people; mostly the poor and disabled; to kill themselves #not theoretically; as in literally says word for word to them 'you should really kill yourself; just sign here'#it's sick; it truly is #but for any americans that want to dunk on it; I'm telling you we're no better #we have the exact same miserable desperation and people (again; mostly poor and disabled) into despair #only difference is we don't offer assisted suicide #the underlying issues in the US and canada are so damn similar; so much of what's happening ends up being the same #you can't act smug just cause you only make people want to die instead of also offering to help #that's like saying that you're the good guy cause while you did everything you could to drive someone to the brink #get them fired; slash their tires; just cartoon level villain stuff to personally harass this person... at least you won't hand them rope #we have such similar systemic issues to canada; and I am explicitly telling you that like the people in canada that have said #'I can't take it anymore; disability doesn't cover my expenses and I can't get any help... I'm at my wits end so I'm gonna go die'#I'm telling you that I feel that same way; just without any eugenics agency I can call up #I'm really working to get things stable; but it feels like I'm teetering on the edge of falling into permanent failure #and... and I'll actually tell you the amount even though I don't like to mention money... makes me feel guilty #my gramps left me $27k; which sounds like a lot; but I got 20 windows that need redoing (house has a lot of windows)#...if they ended up being 1k each; that's most of the money gone; if they end up being more...#and I got a whole lotta other stuff I've been putting off like plumbing around here; need to replace that faucet #it's an amount of money that helps; but it's an amount of money that isn't gonna last #...that's like a year of bills; and my mom already needs me to pay like $400 to the propane bill since she got behind #I want to use it to... to try and really get my feet on the ground; but it might loose me my insurance... it makes me want to die #and not to be a selfish bastard; but if I could I'd like to try and take and invest a bit to maybe build some passive income #given that... that a job never seems to work out for me cause I fucking suck and cause like... my insomnia has me up at 5:30 am right now #mm tag so i can find things later

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z3rinn · 1 year ago

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# #. GROCERY STORE !! pt. 2

a part 2 to my grocery store post !! This time it contains scarabia - diasomania ! ahem- going grocery shopping is usually a mundane task, boring and usual. that is until the twst boys want to join you in your outing. you just hoped nothing would go wrong this time… for once…

Sorry this took so long to get out !! I hope you all enjoy !! ♡

# #. KALIM AL-ASIM

Going grocery shopping with Kailm is definitely an experience. Its basically like bringing a kid to a candy store. He is ogling at everything around him. That's when you realize he's probably never even been to a grocery store-

By the way he's running around and pointing at everything- putting as many things in the cart as possible- (which you would not be able to pay for) you would like to place him in the baby seat of the cart, but alas he can't fit. So you just settle for placing him in the cart instead. Its at times like this you can imagine where Jamil is coming from. But its ok because he's a cutie patootie and i love him w all my heart- Oh! And just know that he finds the ride absolutely delightful.

Kalim tries to take turns with you when riding the cart, pushing you around the store while laughing happily. He walks into aisles youve never even seen before, showing off weird things that are fascinating to the both of you. Like that self washing cup! Or those lava lamps that costs well over 5000 thamarks !! But he could easily pay for them. You never thought grocery shopping could be so fun- and so you can't help but smile back at his amusement, joining along as the two of you ran around target.

9/10 it's a little overwhelming at first, yet going with him just makes you happy beyond words. Plus he pays!

# #. JAMIL VIPER

Jamil is obviously one of the best people to go grocery shopping with. He's a food expert, and he knows exactly what to get and do while there. Plus, he is most likely tagging along with you to get some things for the Scarabian kitchens.

As I said, Jamil's a food expert, and he knows just what to buy and get while out. Like I said in my previous post, Ruggie knows how to haggle with grocery store managers- and I think Jamil does too. He knows what products are the best, yet are also the cheapest, it's not like he's paying with Kalim's money. (Although he did offer to give you his card!) Jamil is also the type to not get distracted while out, so whenever you try to but something you definitely don't need, he'll snap you back in place.

While out with him make sure not to buy any frozen food, as it'll make him think your prefer that over his fresh and healthier food. And he'll give you a judging look due to it. Oh! And he's gonna cling to you the entire time. This is one of the only moments he'll be able to hang out with you without having to worry about any of his duties and Kalim. So don't question it if he holds on to you or if he's pressed up against you the entire time.

10/10, I'd go with him any day of the week. It doesn't even have to be to the grocery store smh.

# #. VIL SCHOENHEIT

Vil is taking you to some fancy ass grocery store. Like whole foods or sprouts, maybe even the mall. Or whatever the twst equivalent is. As if he'll you just go to some random grocery store- And with him- it's not gonna be all fun and games -_-

He immediately takes you to the veggie and fruits section, piling on good enough amounts of spinach, broccoli, tomatoes. He also buys fruit for his homeade smoothies, those will make your skin glow for days afterwards. It's annoying- you just want your chips- but you cant because of the preservatives. You just want some cookies. Yet you cant. Honestly you were this close to just falling to the floor and crying your heart out like a frenchman. "I JUST WANT MY JUNK FOOD" Shopping with him just seems like a chore instead of something fun tbh.

He's right in front of the cart, dropping only the necessities into it. You were this close to running him over the cart if he slapped your hand one more time for trying to reach out to the chips. He gives you a glare, and tries to resist your puppy eyes. With a click of his tounge he eventually does calm down, dropping a bag of Cheshire Chips into the cart. He might allow it if you come over to Pomefiore to do some face masks with him.

5/10. It's like going shopping with a mom or like a weight trainer or smth. You understand why he's doing this of course- But theres no funny business with him. Zero. Sigh. Well he pays at least. I LOVE HIM I SWEAR-

# #. ROOK HUNT

When Rook notices you walking out of the broken down building you were staying in, from the tree right above your house, he obviously offered to accompany you on your endeavor! Even when you told him you were just going to the grocery store a part of him just couldn't help but be overjoyed. Oh how he just loved being out with you!

Rook is notorious for loving the smallest of details- the simplest things in life. So going to a grocery store and seeing all the beautiful people surrounding him- along with the gorgeous displays of food made his heart practically smile. You watch as he holds an apple in his hands, raising it up to the sky with a glorious smile on his face. (You're this close to just walking away-) He's humming in joy as he recites a poem of the luscious, juicy, red apple to you. Very fun !!

Meanwhile- when Rook is not being a hopeless romantic for apples, the huntsman is all fun and games !! He's straight up singing in the store, admiring anything and everything. He watches as you shop for groceries, a smile on his face. Rook lets you sit in the cart whenever you get tired, pushing you across the store while humming to himself lightly. Just don't say you're getting tired while going back. He'll carry you all the way back.

8/10- he's a bit over bearing at times. But its Rook so like what can you say about it? I love Rook yall.

# #. EPEL FELMIER

Epel is tagging along for two very important reasons! Firstly, his family has branched out to stores all across twisted wonderland- and he obviously has to make sure the quality and presentation were absolutely perfect! Secondly, he gets to hang out with you!

Epel makes his way to the fruits aisle first, dragging you along with a bright smile. His excitement is slowly seeping into you, causing you to laugh yourself. The two of you make your way to the fruits section, the both of you gawking and jumping up and down happily. After that little moment its basically a normal shopping spree. He has experience in going out to the grocery store with his family- so he helps out with practically everything!

He tries to show off as much as he can. He'll help out with the water packets, and baskets carrying them if your hands get tired. He will jump up to grab the snacks you need- that might be too high for you reach. Speaking of snacks - Being out with you lets Epel get junk food and snacks that Vil would NEVER allow- so maybe the two of you can sneak them in the middle of the night.

10/10 !! One of the best to go with! He doesn't bother you whatsover and is very helpful. Guys I love Epel so much KDHDVFTSSKS

# #. IDIA SHROUD

Uhhh- your more likely going to a electronics store- and then maybe stopping at the grocery store on the way back. There's NO way Idia would ever go out to a grocery store on his own. Especially if Doordash exists. But if you stop by an electronics store first, and you need a handsome firey head boy to show you around the store. How could he ever refuse??

He felt like a prince, leading you through his castle while showing off all his prized possessions. While in reality he was just walking through Best Buy or something, and was being an unemployed clerk. He probably pays for your electronics- or maybe he says he'll just make them for you! His designs are 100 times better obviously. However on your way out, he doesn't expect you to point out the whole foods or twst version is across the street.

He basically just sticks to you like a shadow while out. The poor dormleader can't help but be scared that people are gonna judge him for being blue all over. That is until you tell him this was your little shojou moment. Walking out in a supermarket together, inspecting what brand of eggs or milk you should get. It's the whole package! Well obviously now he can't complain. But now he might be just a bit too excited to be here.

6/10 Honestly if you needed groceries that badly you could've just asked him to order from online. Doordash is sooo much easier that doing it the plain (and scary) way.

# #. ORTHO SHROUD

Ortho probably tagged along to experience the "real" life. He's seen families on TV before- and he can't help but crave that domestic lifestyle. So when you ask if he wants to tag along- how could he ever refuse?

He's buzzing with excitement! Hovering around the grocery store with stars in his eyes. Usually he orders groceries from the comfort of his brother's dorm- it's a lot easier that way- but going outside is just so fun !! Ortho might even switch to his P.E form, as it'll make it easier for him to walk around the store like you! Although, he does want to try riding in the cart, it's something that everyone wants at least once in their lives- so how could you say no?

He's very helpful too, it's common courtesy since you took him out in the first place. He's able to reach high places and doesn't have trouble carrying the heavy things. Another plus is if your shy (like his brother) he's able to scan the store and find whatever you're looking for- without asking any employees for help! Sweetie pie fr.

10/10. He's one of the best to go with! Plus no complaints here (like his older brother)

# #. MALLEUS DRACONIA

Malleus? Why does he go??? He just wants to hang out with you. And maybe see how human grocery stores are nowadays. But its mainly the first one. Perhaps when the two of you are out on one of your nightly walks- you suddenly remember that, "Oh no! You forgot to get groceries!!" And now you have to take a menacing dragon man out with you.

Like others, Malleus tags along behind you, inspecting the many products and items in the aisles. He asks questions about products he finds interesting, he'll inspect all the different kinds of fruits (dragon fruits especially), and he'll find different products to try out. He'll always ask you for help too, asking if something is good enough to get. Like that tamagotchi in the corner !! He should get a bunch of friends for Roaring Drago...

He's so oblivious and confused it's kind of funny. Just imagine being a little kid and seeing a giant- like a literal GIANT- standing in the ice cream aisle inspecting the icecream sandwiches. Kinda silly ngl. Wait- what this- your phone is buzzing now? Who? Sebek? Wondering where Waka-sama is? Uh oh.

7/10! It's like going out w a kid whose never been to the outside world- but in a fun way. It would be higher if he told Lilia or Sebek he was tagging along tho... hopefully you don't go deaf from sebek yelling !

# #. LILIA VANROUGE

Did you bring him along? No! Of course not! Should you have noticed he was trailing behind you? Yes! But you didn't because he's an old fae that has experience? Right again! Does that excuse you? No. Obviously not. It's a rule by almost everyone in the dorm. Never bring Lilia grocery shopping. But your dumbass still did.

Well as long as he didn't feed you the food it was fine- right? So you'll let him tag along i guess. Lilia is the type to sit in the cart as you drag him around the store, and he only really gets out when he needs something. You guys probably stop by the spices aisle like 10 times- you feel bad for those in diasomania who are eating that mush. He tells you about the stores in Briar Valley and how he would take silver out when he was but a boy.

It's nice to listen to him as he drops another (that's 15) box of noodles into your hands- again, you feel bad for the people who are going to eat this. You guys probably bulk up on food while there- I mean it's totally not like Lilia has a butt load of money from being an old ass general right? And of course hes not gonna spoil you because your the best right? Yeah of course nottt. Just be careful at the end of your trip. As compensation for taking him with you he might offer to make you something.... and it might be a bit rude to say no....

9/10 ! It's nice listening to him talk- but uhm like many before this- you won't make it through his ...amazing... cooking skills.

# #. SILVER

Silver had spent most of his life living with fae and not many humans. Briar Valley doesnt have many grocery stores- instead being filled with various farmer markets and merchant's. Meaning he'd never been to a grocery store!! So obviously you had to invite him.

Silver is straight up just following you. He's wandering silently like a little cat, trailing from behind. He's looking around with a hint of curiosity. The store was very different from Sam’s- bigger and more luminous. It had a certain vibe to it. He liked it though, it was oddly comforting. Silver usually sticks to himself, but you can tell when something is confusing him. Take the dragon fruit for example, when he saw it a slight chuckle escaped his lips. It looked so different compared to the dragons and longs he’d met before. You couldn't help but laugh yourself- It’s fun watching him experience something new.

Silver is a very reliable man, if you ever need any help he won’t hesitate to jump in. He will help with the cart, the heavy groceries, the water jugs that weigh a mountain load. As you all know- Silver gets tired (and omg he's so pretty thats not fair) and wont hestiate to fall alseep on you if he ever gets tired. So easy solution: just put him in the cart and bury him in food. It’s easier to drag him that way. (instead of him sprawling on top of you)

10/10. Love him. I love HIM. HIIIMMMM. I LOVVVEEEEE HIM. RAAAAAAHHHH-

# #. SEBEK ZIGVOLT

There's no way in wonderland Sebek would ever go with you! He has duties to attend to! He has a beautiful, mystical, enchanting prince to protect!! Malleus was of the upmost importance, why would he ever go with a dumb human like you? You didnt matter compared to his leige-- Lilia is making him accompany you.

At first Sebek will grumble to himself, upset he couldn't stay with the majestic Malleus. Yet he soon remembers (you reminded him) that Lilia was the one to tell him to accompany you. So he immediately assumes this is a type of training for him !! Oh and now he's bragging that he got to join you on this trip instead of Silver- oh boy-

Like others, Sebek will help. Uhm. But like- loudly. As he carries the bags he will ask if you notice how strong and capable he is, a smirk on his face. And then he goes on a rant about Malleus. Whenever you need something you can't reach he will help, with a "human" comment on the tip of his tounge. And then he goes on about Malleus. It's kind of funny though not gonna lie- seeking a giant man boasting while getting groceries of all things. Very fun!

3/10. But a nine in my heart. He's so silly. Anyway. GRAAAHHH- I WANNA PULL HIS HAIR OUT (in a loving way !!)

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #kalim al asim #jamil viper #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmier #idia shroud #ortho shroud #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #silver #sebek zigvolt

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fuck-customers · 4 months ago

Note

This situation truly felt like the closest I've ever gotten to reenacting the L vs. Light from Death Note battle lmaoo I kept my cool and plausible deniability, but I was dying laughing internally.

(I think I've won the battle, btw. I'll have to wait and see. There's more to this war, though)

So, for background (and I've complained about this on this blog several times...sorry) my moron boss refuses to put price tags/signs on the products in the store, especially at the register. Considering I work in a retail store...this is obviously a problem. So I've made several attempts to get products priced, in varying degrees of extremity.

1. I made handmade signs/tags out of receipt paper/scratch paper and put them on the products around the register. (Candy, toys etc.) Braindead manager took them down.

2. All but 4 of the shopping carts at work are broken, but customers are stupid and still try to drag them halfway through the store and then abandon them or somehow blame me personally for them being broken. So I put signs on the broken ones and blocked them off. Dumbshit managers keep unblocking them and then customers try and fail to use them and abandon them throughout the store, rinse and repeat daily.

3. I then got the idea to go over my manager's head, but without having it fall back on me. Write to corporate. I originally started snatching receipts to leave negative reviews on the store survey, but that seemed to be a dead end, as the SM and DM are the ones who are supposed to read the surveys, but appear not to, as not a single thing was fixed in over 6 months of "customers" complaining weekly. (Usually at least 1 every 2-4 days)

4. I found a clearance price gun and tagged everything with it, even if it wasn't clearance. One way or another, it had a price on it, right? Of course the braindead moron took them off.

5. I then found actual price tags that were technically for different products, but had the same prices as our current candy, so I tagged the items with that. (For example, we'd have a tag for chocolate that we no longer carry that was $3.99 and we have some current chips on the shelf that are $3.99, so I'd just put the old tag for the current candy, since all customers need is the dollar amount and blacked out the old product description) These lasted longer than the previous attempts, but were ultimately taken down, but this is (hopefully) the turning point.

6. Just to really make sure something would change, a month or so after reusing old price tags, I (simultaneously, while also putting up old tags) made several fake emails posing as disgruntled customers and emailed corporate complaining about the lack of prices and the broken carts (among other things) at my specific location. (I did not name any specific employees or throw anyone under the bus. I just complained about the appearance of the store and any mention of employees was simply left at "the cashier" "the manager" etc. with no personally identifying info) I did this on the feedback section of the company website as well.

This all came to a head today when the braindead's mini-me (the ASM) pulled me aside before I clocked in today to basically call me out. She said that she knew that I was the one who put the handmade tags and also put "broken" signs on the broken carts and blocked them off. I, of course pretended not to know about it, because I'm not THAT stupid. But I'm not in trouble, because she has no real proof. (It was very much "I know that she knows and she knows that I know she knows lol) Anyway, she says (and we'll see about this) that new carts have been ordered and are on their way and also that she had to go around and undo all the tags (oh boohoo, she had to do her job, poor her) and will be putting real, correct tags on the products.

We'll see. In the meantime, "customers" are still going to leave bad reviews and contact corporate until changes are actually made for real. There are still other issues that need to be fixed, but are not as important as the lack of price tags and carts. (Such as the lack of price checkers, the shit radio music, the lack of employees, the dysfunctional inventory system, the bare shelves, the disorganized store, etc.)

Posted by admin Rodney

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thisapplepielife · 7 months ago

Text

Written for @steddie-week.

Can't Miss Us.

Day #5 - Prompt: Reunion/Exes to Lovers | Word Count: 1979 | Rating: T | CW: Language | POV: Steve | Tags: Post S4, Future Fic, Corroded Coffin Eddie, Hawkins Steve, It's Wedding Season, If They Didn't Have Their Besties, They'd Still Be Floundering Alone, Platonic Stobin, Eddie and Gareth are BFFs

He's in his pajamas.

And they aren't even his good pajamas. They're just a ratty-ass pair of plaid sleep pants that Robin and him fight over ownership of, and a soft, but ragged, t-shirt that the logo wore off long, long ago, with holes all around the neck and under the arms.

Steve was just running to the store for ice cream before they closed at midnight. He didn't think he'd see anyone, let alone Eddie Munson.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Maybe he will go unnoticed. He backs up out of the aisle, and runs his back straight into someone else's chest. He turns to say sorry, and it's Gareth.

"Steve?" Gareth questions, and he sounds just as surprised as Steve feels.

Eddie looks up at hearing Gareth speak. Steve sees the movement out of the corner of his eye, and there'll be no running from this. From them.

From him.

"Hey, I didn't know you guys were in town," Steve says, trying to play it way cooler than he'll ever feel about the situation.

Eddie left, Steve stayed, and that was that. They don't hate each other or anything, but it has always been far easier for Steve to just keep a healthy amount of distance between them.

"The wedding, you know," Gareth says, and Steve doesn't know.

Is Eddie getting married? Is Gareth?

Steve lives here. Surely he would have known if a big wedding was happening right under his nose. But he's heard nothing, from no one. Surely, Henderson would have let it slip if Eddie was coming home to get married.

"Oh, no, I didn't know," Steve says, "Congrats?"

That shouldn't sound like a question, and he feels dumb, dumb, dumb.

"Well don't congratulate me, I'm not getting married," Gareth says, then holds up his hand, "mainly because I already am."

Steve nods, dumbly, not really listening to Gareth at all. But Eddie hasn't moved an inch to come closer. Apparently he's not going to. He's just standing there holding two tubs of orange sherbet. Eddie as frozen as the sherbet.

Time to get the fuck out of this awkward situation.

"Okay, well. Good to see you," Steve says, and leaves without the ice cream.

Robin will understand.

"He was just standing there staring at you like a creep?"

"Well, it didn't seem creepy, as much as shocked to see that his ex-boyfriend is now apparently homeless. Look at what I'm wearing, Robin! Look!" he shouts, tugging on the collar of his shirt, and it rips a little further.

Steve's spiraling.

"Calm down. You look comfortable. It's midnight. Eddie's not dumb. He doesn't think this is your new style. He knows."

And Steve knows that. He does. But it's still terribly embarrassing. You don't want to go years without seeing the guy you'll probably never quite get over, and then be wearing your scrubbiest clothes.

It's tragic.

"He might be getting married," Steve says, dejected. That's the real problem here. Not his clothes.

"In Hawkins? Get real. Eddie would never. He hates it here."

He wouldn't. Steve knows that, too. Eddie hardly ever comes back, saying it's not his hometown, not anymore.

Steve understands. Hawkins kind of lost that right when they tried to burn him at the stake for something he didn't do. But Steve likes to think it's changed, at least a little, after the ones that did stay have worked to make changes.

Like Robin, and him. They stayed, and they aren't unhappy about it.

"I'd say get some ice cream and calm down, but we don't have any," Robin snarks, and it's just what he needed, as he laughs and leans against her shoulder.

The next afternoon, they drive around in Robin's car, Steve slunk low in the passenger seat, checking every possible venue in town, trying to determine where this wedding might be. They check the churches. The best hotel that has a shoddy excuse for a ballroom.

And in an act of desperation, the school.

Lover's Lake.

But it's not in town. Can't be. There are no crowds anywhere.

However, out near the country club, they spot balloons stuck to a sign.

Green/Goodwin Wedding

"See!" Robin crows, "It's Goodie! It's not Eddie. I told you so, dingus. Can we go home now?"

Steve nods. It does make Steve feel a little better, but Eddie still didn't tell him he was coming home. Still didn't want to see him while he was here, obviously.

Definitely didn't expect Steve to be loitering around the Big Buy at closing time.

And that kind of stings, just a little.

The whole "we'll still be friends" thing was a load of horseshit. They aren't anything to each other, not now.

"Home, Jeeves," Steve says.

"Ice cream first?" Robin questions.

Steve nods, "Only if you go in. I'm traumatized."

Robin looks over at him, "Well. I'll do it just this once, but don't think this gets you out of ice cream duty, dingus. I can drive. But I still don't want to."

"Deal," he says, because once Eddie's gone back to his life, things can go back to normal.

"Door!" Robin shouts from the bathroom, and Steve looks at his watch. It's after ten. He didn't even hear anyone knocking from his room. And it's a little late for anyone they know, unless Henderson is in town for this wedding, and just said nothing.

Steve eyes the bat leaning near the hall tree, and then opens the door.

It's Gareth.

"How'd you know where I lived?" Steve asks, skipping the hello.

"It's Hawkins. I just had to ask the first person I saw. Which was my mom," Gareth says, and Steve looks out beyond him. Checking to see if Eddie is lurking in the bushes. He doesn't seem to be.

Gareth just reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tape, "Here."

Steve takes it because he doesn't know what else to do.

"If you think it's what I think it is, we're at the club all night. We're out back. In a tent. Can't miss us."

"It's a wedding," Steve says, "one I wasn't invit-"

Gareth pulls an envelope out of his jacket pocket, "From Goodie."

Steve doesn't know what to say, but Gareth doesn't make him, because he just turns and leaves.

"What?" Robin asks, coming out, her hair up in a towel.

"It was Gareth. He gave me this," Steve says, holding up the cassette.

"Is it 1986?" Robin asks, and Steve laughs. The stereo still has a tape deck, but a CD would have been more convenient. "What do you think it is?"

Steve shrugs, but he knows. Down deep. He knows.

And he's right. It's a tape of songs that are very clearly about Steve, and by Eddie's voice, and the way it's matured as the tape went on, they've been laid down over many, many years.

Steve doesn't know what to do with this information.

Eddie didn't give it to him, Eddie didn't come to him.

Why does Steve have to be the one to stick his neck out?

Because, Eddie won't. Eddie will run for ten, twenty, forty more years.

And these songs? They say that he regrets it. That he doesn't want to have ever done it in the first place.

So. Steve pulls a suit out of the closet, and demands that Robin put on a dress, any dress, or slacks, anything she owns other than her yummy sushi pajamas.

She does. They both do.

And Robin drives.

And Steve frets, worrying the tape case in his hands, the whole way.

Gareth wasn't lying. They couldn't miss the tent. It's a beacon in the night. Edged up to the woods, and it's a testament to what they all did, that that's a safe thing to do, here in Hawkins. Steve just hangs back, and looks. Sees the blur of people moving around, dancing, having fun.

The music is decidedly wedding reception, and not Corroded Coffin.

But Steve doesn't see Eddie.

"I don't see him," Steve says, not taking his eyes off the tent to look at Robin. She'll tell him if she sees him first. "Do you think-"

"I'm right here," Eddie says from behind them, and Steve turns. Slowly.

Robin pauses, for just a second, and then bolts for the tent, like a little traitor. Leaving him alone, staring Eddie down in the near dark.

Steve fishes the tape out of his jacket pocket, and holds it out for Eddie to see. Eddie takes it, but doesn't look shocked, or betrayed, or anything really. Until he cracks a smile.

"Kid's a meddling little shit," Eddie says, meeting Steve's eyes.

"Was he wrong?" Steve asks.

"No," Eddie answers, "but he rarely is. Which is part of the problem. It's annoying."

"Well, I have Robin. So I get it," Steve says, and Eddie smiles.

"You want to go to the tent? I think it's about time for Cotton Eye Joe," Eddie teases.

"Oh, well, in that case…" Steve laughs, because seeing Eddie do that Cotton Eye Joe dance would be worth it.

"Or, we have rooms blocked off in the lodge," Eddie offers.

Steve raises an eyebrow, and Eddie keeps talking, "Meeting rooms. Sitting rooms. Not bedrooms," Eddie rambles, "I mean, we do have those. But I meant the other options."

Steve laughs, because he's still Eddie. He wasn't sure he would be, but yeah, this is Eddie. Just polished up a little, not as rough around all the edges.

Grown up.

"Okay, Munson. Take me to one of your non-bedroom rooms," Steve teases, and Eddie lights up, offering Steve his elbow. It's goofy, and silly, but Steve slides his arms through the loop of Eddie's elbow, letting himself be led.

Eddie stops at the open bar, gets them both a drink and a huge tray of the leftover passed appetizers. And they sit in the room that the guys clearly got dressed in. There are garment bags, and street clothes, and stuff on every surface. Eddie scoots a bunch of it down the bar, making room for the two of them.

"Sorry, it's a mess in here," Eddie says, "we weren't expecting company."

"I don't think I count as company," Steve says softly, picking up what looks like a fancy little pig-in-a-blanket and popping it in his mouth. Even cold, it's pretty damn good.

Maybe he's just hungry.

They make small talk. Catching up, skirting the real reason they are both sitting here, together. The tape. The songs.

They eventually fall into a lull, and Steve doesn't feel like he needs to fill the silence. They can just sit together, that's okay. Eddie still feels comfortable, even after all these years, those miles, this distance.

He's still Eddie. And Steve's still Steve.

"They are about you, you know?" Eddie asks, and Steve knows. "The songs."

"I know," Steve admits.

"But they were private, so they didn't make any albums," Eddie says, "not because I didn't want you to hear them. I just didn't want anyone else to hear them."

Steve puts his hand on Eddie's forearm, and squeezes, "I get it."

"I have missed you, you know? Leaving you? The hardest thing I've ever done."

"Harder than fighting off demobats?" Steve teases. They can do that now. Time has passed, and enough of it, that it's in the past. Which is wild. He wasn't sure that'd ever be true.

"Way harder," Eddie says, smiling a shy smile.

"Staying was hard, too," Steve admits, softly.

Eddie nods, leaning his face down, until it rests on Steve's upper arm, Eddie rubbing against him, like a cat. Steve had almost forgotten that was a thing he'd do.

His chest constricts, squeezing.

He wants Eddie. All of him. Everything he can get, for however long.

"So, about those bedrooms…" Steve trails off, smiling as Eddie meets his eyes, smiling right back.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddie-week and follow along with the fun!

#steddieweek2024 #day five #reunion #exes to lovers #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie fic #steddieweek #platonic stobin #robin buckley #gareth stranger things #corroded coffin #thisapplepielife: steddieweek #thisapplepielife: short fic

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ladyluscinia · 1 year ago

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What Exactly Did David Jenkins Say?

Look, I'm still staunchly of the opinion that Word of God statements and creator interviews are overvalued in fandom, especially when they get pulled out mostly as gotchas without then continuing to analyze whether or not the show canon is successful at getting across that same message. Death of the Author is good, actually, and we should remember that. But they are worth looking at in the context of evaluating intent vs execution, and for future speculation - just, like, please with less of the whole mile high pedestal idolizing and backlash cycles.

But if overvalued "Word of God" is annoying, then overvalued "supposed creator statements that have gone through three rounds of telephone and any given blogger has only heard about a quarter of them, which they'll use confidently anyway" is worse. So, since I'd already looked up interviews for various reasons...

Here is a fairly comprehensive list of interviews David Jenkins has given and statements he's made during them, presented without commentary (save curating which statements get highlighted). All provided with links. I definitely missed some, so if you have any that you want to add, please do - though if you could trim off any commentary and save it for tags / your own post with a link that would be cool.

Also, again, just because he said it doesn't make it incontrovertible canon that only a blind person wouldn't understand. Some of these even arguably contradict each other. The creator's intent doesn't always translate to what the show is doing, nor do you even have to think it was a good idea.

(Listed in chronological order from oldest to newest - post contains spoilers below the cut)

Pre-S1

Gizmodo - Feb 22, 2022 - with Cheryl Eddy (io9) - Link

Why this story - Really, it was the enigma of Stede that drew him in. "I think actual pirate stuff is fine, but it's not necessarily my cup of tea. And I think Taika [Waititi] felt similarly. But hearing about this guy and reading about him and seeing that, you know, he left his family, then he met Blackbeard, they hit it off, and we don't know any of the details in between. So filling those blanks in, and having a very human story, and then being able to do it with the pirate genre, that was like, 'Oh, this would be cool.'"

Post 1x01 - 1x03

Polygon - March 5, 2022 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview

About Stede running off to sea - "Stede thought he could outrun his baggage, and you can't outrun your baggage."

About S1 - "I don't think there was enough improv on set! We had an insane schedule, with a huge amount of plot. We were budgeted and designed as a one-hour show, but with a half-hour production schedule, which means we really had to chase these episodes to get them shot. And then there are certain emotional beats that we really needed. So trying to find places to find the fun was hard."

Mashable - Mar 5, 2022 - with Belen Edwards - Link

About the show concept - "It was Jenkins' wife who first told him about Stede's adventures; she thought it would make a good TV show."

On casting Rhys Darby - "Stede did a terrible thing to his family. If you cast it wrong, he's a very hard character to get behind," Jenkins said. "Very quickly, the only person I thought of for this was Rhys [Darby]. He has this childlike quality that's endearing."

About the story - "Seeing them discover a need for each other that neither anticipated and charting how that relationship goes is the meat of the story." + "If you're on this ship, you're running from something, and you're running to something that you can't be on land"

Mentions of matelotage - "In fact, one of Jenkins's favorite pirate facts that he learned while working on Our Flag Means Death was the term matelotage, which was a civil union between same-sex pirates. "The more you look at it," he explained, "the more you write to the fact that this is a queer-positive world.""

Discussing piracy careers - "Something else that astounded Jenkins about pirates was "just how fast it all moved — their lives were quite short," he said. "Your career [in piracy] wasn't very long.""

Post 1x09 - 1x10

Decider - Mar 24, 2022 - with Kayla Cobb - Link

David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview

Pitch for the show - "That was in the pitch," series creator David Jenkins told Decider. "That was the reason, to make them fall in love with each other."

About the romance - "The main thing to me was to side-step coming out," Jenkins continued. "I just want a romance. I want a Titanic romance between these two people. We don't have to do the coming out story and then the non-binary story for Jim [Vico Ortiz]."

About S2 and the show - "The show is the relationship," Jenkins said. "So, we end in a place where there is this breakup. What happens after a breakup between these two people who, one’s realized he's in love and the other one is hurt in a way that he's never been hurt before? What does that do to each of them in an action, pirate world with them trying to find each other again? So again, I really love those rom-com beats."

Collider - Mar 24, 2022 - with Carly Lane - Link

On making it a romcom - "It's the only reason to make the show. If you didn't do that, it would just be weird. I mean, you're using the rom-com beats. You're using these like they're together. And it's funny because so we're so habituated to be like bromance, bromance, bromance, and it's such a simple move to put them together."

Discusses focusing on romance - "I guess I really... I get kind of bored. How much pirate can you do? They're going to rob stuff. They're going to steal ships. There's only so many pirate stories you can do. So if you're going to do a workplace story, I mean, you're essentially having this... You'd have this same amount of relationships in Grey's Anatomy in the ER. So it's standard. It's the most standard. We're making a soap opera on a pirate ship, and to use those soap opera beats... I like it, and I like the flavor in a comedy when you have something that's played genuinely up against very ridiculous things."

Discusses history and kissing scene

Discusses importance of going home to Mary - "Yeah, that was the problem for me in the story. I knew that I wanted to have the end where he goes home, because you need to give Mary her day in court. I just wanted to know from Mary's perspective what happened and then to see that, yeah, they're friends."

Is Lucius dead? - "You got to wait."

EW.com - Mar 25, 2022 - with Devan Coggan - Link

David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview

Pitch for the show - "To me, [Stede and Blackbeard's relationship] is the reason to make the show," Jenkins explains. "When Taika and I were first talking about it, he was like, 'Oh yeah, that's the show.' I first started reading about Stede and how he befriended Blackbeard and we don't know why. Very quickly, it was like, 'Oh, it's a romance.'"

Polygon - Mar 25, 2022 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

Discusses 3-season intent - "I think three seasons is good. I think we could do it in three."

Discusses acts within S1 - "To me, when you see him get stabbed, and the blood runs through his fingers, it’s like 'Oh, no, the clown got stabbed! And not comedy-stabbed, he got stabbed stabbed!' That to me is cool. And then having Blackbeard find him as the end of what would be the first act of our story felt good to me."

Discusses kiss scene filming and the national moment around gay rights

What to focus on a rewatch - "I think Con O'Neill does such a great job. He's such a complex character, and it's such a tortured relationship. And that's a love story too, between him and Blackbeard. It's a very dysfunctional story, but it's fun to watch. Watch that maybe, on a rewatch, looking where their relationship ultimately goes."

TV Insider - Mar 25, 2022 - with Meaghan Darwish - Link

Discusses show pitch - "When I was pitching [the show] to people, I'd be like, 'Okay, so it's about Stede and Blackbeard, and then they hit it off and then they fall in love.' And then people are like, 'Okay, cool,' Jenkins shares. "And then they really fall in love, and become intimately involved."

Discusses historical inspiration

Discusses S2 direction - "But when [Stede] goes to find [Blackbeard], he's gone and his crew's been abandoned. And so watching them try to negotiate that, that's a good rom-com beat," he adds.

The Verge - Apr 15, 2022 - with Charles Pulliam-Moore - Link

Discusses being surprised by queerbaiting legacy - "...part of me knew that, yes, Stede and Ed's romance was going to be real. But one part of me felt like, 'We're going to do this story, and they're going to kiss, and maybe that's not even going to be that big a deal. Maybe it'll just be a blip.'"

Discusses writing romance - "I'd never written a romance before this one, but I think with Ed and Stede, the question's always 'what's the need for each other?'"

Discusses falling in love and Stede's accidental seduction - "It made sense to have that love be almost like a teenage version of falling in love — one with all these intense and conflicting feelings. They're middle-aged, but Stede's young. Ed's young. Emotionally, they're like 16, and they've both got a lot to learn."

Discusses Con O'Neill as Izzy - "He plays an exhausted quality that's really lovely because this character could just be generically evil, and the way Con plays, it is like, he's credible. I believe that he can do some damage if he wanted to. My favorite thing I've seen about the show is somebody saying that Con's playing the only human with a bunch of Muppets. It does feel like that a bit where he's like Charles Grodin in The Great Muppet Caper."

On Izzy being in love with Blackbeard - "I think Izzy's deeply in love with Blackbeard, and it's a very dysfunctional kind of love, and he's like the jilted spouse who's losing his man to fucking Stede Bonnet, and he can't believe this is happening."

Discusses masculinity and piracy as an escape from that

Discusses diversity and trauma based stories - "And the consensus in that very diverse room was that we wanted to show that isn't just wallowing in trauma. We don't have to do a coming out scene or focusing on the trauma of it — not to say that those stories aren’t valid."

Gizmodo - Jun 20, 2022 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

Musing on fandom response to the show - "I'm wondering if the fact that because the queerness of this show isn't gaslighting the audience, and isn't a function of wanting to do something, but not being able to produce the results because of network standards. I think we just happened to be in this lucky spot where the show is actually queer… and I do think that people are responding to that."

Comparing fanfiction to writing - "And Con O'Neill's audition was one of those things I would go back to. I would watch that and be like… Oh, right, that's the show. And in a way, you're writing fanfiction for a certain actor and character because you want them to do something, and you're like–" at this point, it must be said, Jenkins let out a maniacal little giggle. He’s just as thrilled to show off Con O'Neill's ability to seem both deeply exhausted and menacing as the rest of the fandom. "And you [as the writer] you're like… And then Izzy does this now."

EW.com - Dec 13, 2022 - with Devan Coggan - Link

Discusses The Chain sequence - "I had initially wanted that end sequence to be like the FBI raid in a mob movie, where the feds come in, and they've got boxes of stuff, and everyone's running, and someone makes a dash for it," Jenkins explains. "So, it's like a mob movie or FBI raid story, and then it's also a story of Stede's lover coming back."

Pre-S2

Collider - Oct 2, 2023 - with Carly Lane - Link

Discusses fan reaction to S1 - "I thought that they'd kiss, and people would be like, 'Oh, cool, cool!' I kind of thought people would know a little bit more [about] where we were going, but then in hindsight, no, people have been hurt and burned on so many other shows and then made to feel silly."

Discusses starting S2 dark - "One of these characters is very, very damaged and has never made himself vulnerable in this way before, and I don't think [he] would react very well to having his heart broken in this way. I don't think it would be cute, and I don't think it would be funny. I think it would be scary as hell to watch a very damaged guy that we've established in Ed, who killed his dad and thinks he's not capable of being loved, deal with rejection and see that Stede really hurt him."

Discusses adding more female characters

Discusses S2 needle drops including "This Woman's Work"

Discusses 3-season arc

Post 2x01 - 2x03

Mashable - Oct 5, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link

Discusses fandom response to S1

About the canon gay relationship - "To watch the explosion of enthusiasm around [the kiss] was disorienting, almost," Jenkins said. "I thought people would react to it, but I didn't think the reaction would be that big. And then it was moving, because I didn't realize that this audience felt so unserved in general, as far as storylines go."

Insider - Oct 5, 2023 - with Ayomikun Adekaiyero - Link

Tease on leaning into the Stede / Ed / Izzy love triangle - "I think Izzy, in a certain way, got the worst deal in the first season," the showrunner tells Insider. "He gets jilted and then he still is in spurned spouse territory at the beginning of the second season."

Discusses Izzy's arc - "What is that relationship about? And I think by the end of the season it kind of becomes a little unexpected of who they are to each other and what they mean to each other," he teases

Discusses addition of Zheng - "He likens Zheng's way of pirating to a successful tech startup, compared with the garage sale vibe Stede had going on the Revenge."

Discusses introducing Hornigold - "I thought Hornigold was the most obvious because he was the person who made Blackbeard what he is. And Blackbeard has a father complex, so it's natural that he's going to bring his former captain back," the show creator said. "It's a struggle with him because he and dad figures don't historically do well."

Discusses importance of the mermaid scene

Inverse - Oct 5, 2023 - with Hoai-Tran Bui - Link

Reveals he didn't commit to the romance until shooting 1x06 - "Jenkins always intended his pirate comedy to end with a romance, but he'd envisioned it as an unrequited love. "It was going to be about Stede learning what love is, and Ed making himself vulnerable and getting burned," Jenkins says of his original pitch. But Darby and Waititi's choices in the scene, which they played without diffusing the tenderness with a joke, made him wonder if they could take the show in a new direction."

Discusses mermaid Stede idea from S1 - "We talked about Stede as a mermaid very early on in the writers' room," Jenkins says. "At some point, yeah, I want to see Rhys Darby as a merman." + "They wanted us to come up with a Season 2 pitch during Season 1. And that was one of the ideas we hit on, and I can't quite remember how we got there, but it was us asking, what is a pirate world? Are there mermaids? Is there magic in this show? With pirate stuff, I don’t know that I want there to be magic, but there was a way where it was something really beautiful about a mer-person, and I like the idea that their coming together would have a mythic size to it."

Discusses historical divergence

Discusses matelotage and pirates as weird outsiders

TV Guide - Oct 5, 2023 - with Allison Piccuro - Link

About the shipping culture - "It's the meat of the show, so it's great to have people bought into the central romance. If it were a bromance that we were trying to make look like a romance, that would suck."

Discusses playlists he makes

Discusses opening dream sequence - "I just like that it started with something badass. Stede, Blackbeard, and Izzy are on an arc together. Whether they're in stories together or not, their ultimate arc is together. I think, by the end of this season, the last episode, that first scene will be gratifying. I won't say why, but their fates are tied together."

Discusses Kraken arc - "But I think the thing that's good about this show is that it can go to really sweet comedy land, but I want there to be, like, if someone loses a body part, for instance, they lose a body part. To do justice to the fact that this guy is a killer and a monster, and dealing with heartache that he doesn't know how to deal with, I think you really need to go there."

Discusses Izzy in S2 - "I mean, he's jilted. He had a partnership with Blackbeard, and he knows he can't live up to this person that Blackbeard fell in love with... Who is that guy? What are his hobbies? What does it look like when he's not totally subsumed with his boss's love affair with somebody, and heartbroken?"

On S2 reunion - "The second season is them being a little bit more mature... It's the thing where you're in your 20s or 30s and you're like, "Well, should we move in together?" They have to make up some time because neither of them have been in a functional relationship before."

About genre of pirate stories - "...is a show about multiple relationships. That's what I want to see when I see this show. I don't want to see a bunch of pirate things that I've seen in other things, I'll just go watch another thing if I want to see that. That's not really my thing. I like the genre, but it's a very hard genre to budge. I want to see relationships in a pirate world."

Discusses the A Star is Born aspect of seeking fame / retiring

Mashable - Oct 7, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link

About the mermaid scene - "You need something expressive for when they come back together," Jenkins said. "Their reunion moment has to feel big and mythical. This is not a world where mermaids actually exist, but their love for each other has that size that you can get [a mermaid] in there somewhere."

About Kate Bush - "I love Kate Bush, and I love that song, and I know Taika loves that song," Jenkins explained of the choice. "So I wanted to find a place for that song somewhere in the second season."

Polygon - Oct 9, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson & more - Link

Compares S2 and "Golden Age of Piracy" stuff to Westerns, lists 5 he was thinking of - "Every Western that’s good is that story," Jenkins says. "'This way of life we made is coming to an end. It can't last. It's a blip in time. We created this thing because we need it to exist. We're outlaws, and we need a culture that suits us, but it's running out of time.'"

Gizmodo - Oct 9, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

Short tease on leaning into the love triangle

About Stede, Edward, and Izzy - "I think the three of them are on an arc together that's pretty inseparable," Jenkins said in an interview with io9. "And to watch Izzy try to process what's happened [in season one]… to watch him kind of grow and figure out what's his own story, if he can separate himself from this kind of toxic relationship, is interesting to me and I think gives him a lot of room for growth."

Post 2x04 - 2x05

IndieWire - Oct 12, 2023 - with Sarah Shachat - Link

Discusses directing and show creation

"The limitations of the show also naturally push it back towards moments with the ensemble and plot problems that it would frankly be irresponsible to tackle if you had a giant budget and a fully working ship-of-the-line to sail and then blow to bits. "That's the fun of the show to us, I think. If you open this up and you're like, unlimited budget, that would be terrible because I think you can get seduced," Jenkins said. "[It could be like,] 'Oh man, it's all leading up to a climatic battle on the sea.' And those things are great. But that’s not this show.""

"The nice thing about that, though, is you get to be the lo-fi show that’s like, 'Hey, we’re making The Muppets.'"

PopSugar - Oct 12, 2023 - with Victoria Edel - Link

About S2 Stede - "I like the idea that he learns and grows and he doesn't just stay a bumbling captain. He might be ridiculous, but he is getting better at it."

Discusses genre challenges - "How do you have a show that's a romance show but it's also a workplace show and they're criminals?"

Discusses Edward's redemption - "But Blackbeard still has to come back and apologize and be part of the community again, and give his little press conference. It was fun for us to look at that in the context of piracy, where they all do terrible things to each other. But even by their standards, what Blackbeard did was a bit much."

Discusses Izzy in S2 - "When Izzy shoots Blackbeard and they all mutiny on him, that's Izzy breaking up with Blackbeard. And they're both having their own journey in the wake of it, and Izzy's having his own redemption arc. He's trying to figure out, "Who am I if I'm not Blackbeard's first mate? Who am I outside of this relationship?"" + "If Stede's Spongebob, he's Squidward. I don't know what that makes Blackbeard. But there's a real pathos to Squidward."

Discusses trauma-based narratives - "As a diverse room in terms of sexuality, socio-economic background, and race, we thought, "Wouldn't it be nice to have a non-trauma-based story for these characters who don't get that historically?""

Variety - Oct 13, 2023 - with Hunter Ingram - Link

Discusses three act structure and making Stede work for a relationship - "The way I like to look at a season is in threes. The end of the first act is when they find each other, and this is the beginning of the second act. They've found each other, but they are pissed. Stede thought it was going to be [Kate Bush's] “This Woman's Work,” but, in reality, it is this headbutt –– literally."

Discusses the central romance - "It was always part of the pitch... that is the reason to make the show. The pirate genre is fun, but I wasn’t dying to make a pirate show. Taika wasn’t dying to make a pirate show. But the thing that was interesting to me was that Stede finds love, and he finds it with Blackbeard."

Discusses 2x04 plot - "This episode is based on a very, very thumbnail sketch of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?." Anne and Mary are Martha and George, and they are Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton."

Discusses adding historical pirates

Discusses Buttons exit - "I just love the idea of him turning into a bird: I love the idea of Buttons somehow being the one character that is able to figure that out."

Discusses Izzy and the crew's trauma plot - "We liked the idea that there is something about trauma and getting past that trauma, even on a pirate ship. They have been through two very different ways of living and they have to get used to each other again. But it's also a family that was separated, and becoming one family again is painful."

Discusses bringing characters back - "We could bring Calico Jack back, who, if you remember, was hit by a cannonball last season. Anyone who is that fun to play with and wants to keep playing, you always find a way to bring them back."

Polygon - Oct 14, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

Discusses 3-season arc and how keeping them apart with some plot device was never in the cards - "at the end of the first season, they're 14-year-olds, emotionally. In this season, it's more like they’re in their late 20s."

Discussing New Zealand production and ensemble cast writing - "It's pretty organic, because as we're going through and tracking everybody's journey for the season, we're watching the thing that holds us together — what stage of Stede and Blackbeard's relationship are we in? Because the overarching arc is, are these guys going to learn how to settle into a relationship?"

"The second season is more overtly about romance, and more a relationship story."

Energizing aspect of fan reaction

S3 is about "love is work"

Gizmodo - Oct 16, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

About the story - "I want to see them become a functional couple or fail to become a functional couple," Jenkins said. "Those are the most interesting parts of the show."

Discusses fandom engagement - "...ultimately the writers are also "the fans in the room." He goes on to say that, "We're fans of the world. We're writing fanfic about our own characters, our own worlds… It's paid fanfic, but it's fanfic." He gives another example: "If you're writing a season of Succession, you're writing fanfic Succession. You're just getting paid to do it. We, as writers–" it's clear that he's not just talking about the writers in the writers room, "become fans of the world and we all have things we want to see these characters do. What we do is not that different."

Discusses the A Star is Born aspect of seeking fame / retiring

Discusses Zheng Yi Sao

Villains of the series - There are a lot of new villains this season, but, Jenkins says, ultimately, "the antagonist on this show is normalcy… These pirates have a way of life that they're not finding in normal life. They've found a way to live and support each other and be there for each other. And that's always threatened by these larger, tyrannical forces that want to shut them down."

Post 2x06 - 2x07

Mashable - Oct 19, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link

Discussing drag performance in 2x06

"It is nice to see with Izzy's arc, where he finally breaks through whatever he's been doing to himself. He lets himself have that moment, which I just love. It resonates for Izzy, and I think it resonates for Con. Just personally, it made me feel good to see how it turned out."

Consequence - Oct 19, 2023 - with Liz Shannon Miller - Link

Discusses intent for romance - "...telling a love story in a serialized medium like television has its perils, largely because it's tough to know how much you can draw out any unresolved tension. "I think we take it episode by episode and we try to not piss people off in taking too long and doing double beats and triple beats," Jenkins says. "You can only do Will They or Won’t They for so long. Then you have to deepen it.""

Discusses pirate setting - "The emphasis on relationships also fits into the show's high-seas setting, which Jenkins finds similar to post-apocalyptic narratives. "It is a little bit like you're doing Mad Max, except there's relationships," he says. "Stuff's shitty, so you gotta try to find some joy. Of course, people are going to have a need for each other in these extreme circumstances, and I like the idea of these characters finding some level of a healthy relationship in these extreme circumstances.""

Discusses Jim x Archie

Discusses 3-season arc

Polygon - Oct 21, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

Discussing gender and power dynamics in Jackie x Swede / Zheng x Oluwande / Blackbeard x Stede + A Star is Born aspect

Jim not being jealous of Oluwande - "I think that relationship was always seen in the room as a friend relationship that got romantic."

About adding a villain - "I think a lot of the internal forces in Our Flag are the villains." + "I think this is a story about the age of piracy coming to an end. This way of life is coming to an end. And every Western that's good is that story: This way of life we made is coming to an end, and it can't last. […] I think every story about outlaws is about trying to preserve a way of life against normative forces that are kind of fascistic."

Historical accuracy - "The balance of the show is 90% ignoring history, and then 10%, bring it in, whenever we're like, Ah, gotta move the story forward! Remember, the English are out there, and they're really bad!"

Post 2x08

AV Club - Oct 26, 2023 - with Saloni Gajjar - Link

Killing Izzy was always the plan - "We wanted to show the depth of that character. Izzy is one of my favorites. He's like middle management who is in a sort of love triangle [in season one]."

Discusses how they really wanted the happy ending for S2 - "I think with season one's end, it was a gamble to leave it the way it was. Everybody stomached through it. Now if it turned out they didn't want us to make more, I just didn't want to have another story where the same-sex love story ends in tragedy, unrequited love, or if one or both of them are being punished."

Discusses S2 progressing the 3-season romance - "They’re a couple who is like in their late twenties right now as opposed to being teens at the end of season one." + "It was an interesting tension of, which one gives up their dream? A lot of times in relationships questions can come up, like who is going to give up on their dream to take care of the kids? Obviously, no one wants to, but someone ends up giving up more than they want to at some point. What's wonderful about a mature romance, and what I'd want to see more of in season three, is Ed and Stede making these tough decisions." + progressing past the getting together point

Discusses parallels, Republic of Pirates, and Zheng Yi Sao

Short bit about fan response

Collider - Oct 26, 2023 - with Carly Lane - Link

Discusses Ed leaving fishing - "I like that he had a little prima donna moment where he thought he could go and be a simple man, and then it's revealed that he really isn't a simple man; he's a complicated, fussy, moody guy. No, he's not gonna be able to catch fish for a living. For him to be told that, "At your heart, you're a pirate. You have to go back and do it," he doesn't want that to be true, but it was true."

Discusses Izzy's speech to Ricky - "I wanted to give Izzy a proper eulogy for himself. He gives a eulogy for himself, but it felt true writing it."

Discusses Izzy's death scene - "In a way, it's very much for Ed, that speech. The "we were Blackbeard" is claiming that he is also Blackbeard, that Blackbeard is not just Ed’s creation, and I like that for him, too, because he's worked so hard for that — and then just to say, "You can give it up." There can never be a Blackbeard again as far as Izzy's concerned because he's dying, and they did that together."

Discusses Republic of Pirates / music parallels from premier to finale

Discusses finale wedding - "We knew we wanted a matelotage in the season, which is the real term they had for marrying crew members. And yeah, they've always been in relief to Stede and Ed, and they're a little bit ahead of Stede and Ed in how much they can talk about things. So to have a bunch of family things in the season, like a funeral and a wedding, and have the parents kind of watch the kids sail away, felt right, and all of those things seem to work well together and build on each other."

Discusses retirement ending - "That will-they-or-won't-they is interesting to a point, but the real meat of it is always like, "Can they make the relationship, and can they do better than Anne and Mary?""

"Frenchie's in charge of the Revenge" + teases Stede struggling to give it up

EW.com - Oct 26, 2023 - with Devan Coggan - Link

Discusses Izzy's death and telling Con - "It feels like the logical end of Izzy's arc. It's heartbreaking to me because he's my favorite." + "I told him in the middle of shooting because I didn't want him to find out at the table read, obviously. I also didn't want it to leak. He was lovely about it."

Discusses Izzy's final arc - "You know, I didn't expect him to become kind of a father figure to Ed. I think we hit on that while we were breaking the [final] episode. He's in such a weird position: He's like a jilted lover, and then he's a middle manager who has to work for a terrible boss. He gets thrown away, and then he comes back. He really develops, and he becomes a part of this family. I think the biggest surprise was the extent that he was a mentor to Ed. They were both Blackbeard. They both made Blackbeard happen."

Discusses the happy ending intent - "With this season starting so dark, I kind of wanted to reward them for the work that they've done and the character growth that they've had. I wanted to leave them in a place where they're really going to try and make this work. I don't think it's going to be easy for them, necessarily. They're both still immature."

Discusses the wedding - "We knew we wanted a matelotage in the second season, and pretty quickly we landed on Lucius and Black Pete. It seems like they were ready for that. We made up a ceremony and everything, where they call each other mateys, and it was just fun to make our own version of a pirate wedding ceremony."

Discusses potential S3 and Frenchie's Revenge - "But it felt like a good place to end the second season. It felt like a contrast to the first season. If it turns out we don't make any more, I'm comfortable with that being a resting place."

Variety - Oct 26, 2023 - with Hunter Ingram - Link

S3 endpoint - "I love things in threes," he says. "That first act, second act, third act structure is so satisfying when it is done well, and you don't overstay your welcome. I think this world of the show is a big world, and if the third season is successful, we could go on in a different way. But I think for the story of Stede and Ed, that is a three-season story."

Discusses the draw of a "Golden Age" and it's ending

Talks about father figure Izzy and wanting a real sense of loss - "There is a nice parallel to have Ed treat him so badly at the beginning of the season and then come all the way around to where Izzy is this sort of father figure he doesn’t want to lose — because Ed usually kills his father figures."

Gizmodo - Oct 26, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

Teasing future Izzy - "Jenkins looked slightly sad himself, saying that "Ghosts exist in this world." I told him not to make promises he couldn't keep."

"Jenkins said that he doesn't see Izzy as a pure antagonist in season one because on some level… Izzy was right in his hesitations about Stede."

Discussing Con O'Neill & Rhys Darby acting

Jenkins confirms the season was always 8 episodes due to budget cuts

About S2 finale vs S3 - "The first season ends on such a downer, so it made sense to end the second season in a kinder spot." + "I think there's plenty of story left for season three, but I think that it was important to end this as if it was the end of the show, and on upbeat note and avoid the kind of "kill your gays" trope. I don't want to see Stede and Ed punished for giving it a go. I want to see them really say, 'yeah, we’re going to we're going to try to have a relationship'."

Teases S3 revenge against Ricky and going to the Americas

Vanity Fair - Oct 26, 2023 - with Sarah Catherall - Link

About the ending - "It's bittersweet. There's death and there's the rebirth of Stede and Blackbeard's relationship; there's a funeral, there's a wedding, and the idea that this family is going to keep fighting even as they lose members. And then it's about belonging to something." + "A lot of times, with this narrative of characters, same-sex relationships end on a dour, downbeat note, where one of them dies and it's unrequited or it's unrealized; something horrible happens and they're punished in a way. So it was important to leave it open and a lot more show to go, but also leave it in a place where it's happy."

Discusses Izzy as a mentor / father figure - "We felt like Izzy's story had reached its conclusion, where we put him through enough. And then there was the realization that he is kind of a mentor to Blackbeard and that he is kind of a father figure to Blackbeard." + "And it's also a pirate show, so he's got to die."

Discusses filming challenges - "It's a big show; it's basically a one-hour show that we're doing on a half-hour budget."

Discusses adding Zheng Yi Sao

Is the show a queer romance? - "For this show, it's important to me just to write a really bold-bodied romantic show that happens to be between two characters of the same sex. I think that the story beats don't matter, because if you've been in love and you've been hurt and you met someone you love—hopefully we all know what those feelings are."

Blackbeard's arc in S2 - "...the second season is about Blackbeard's midlife crisis. And then when they both have their midlife crises, they can open a B&B together." + "I don't think Stede and Blackbeard are ready to be married. They're emotionally saying: 'Let's give this a go.'"

Discusses historical piracy as "counterculture" that's been straightwashed and whitewashed

Did he feel responsibility to the fan community? - "As opposed to responsibility, it feels more like relief—that people feel seen and they feel good about it and they liked what we did. And so it feels like, Okay, somebody's out there and wants the show. The makeup of the writers room looks a lot like the makeup of the fan base. So as long as we're true to our stories in the writers room, I think we just feel excited that there's somebody waiting on the other end to enjoy it."

Paste Magazine - Oct 26, 2023 - with Tara Bennett - Link

Discusses whether fandom expectations felt weighty - "I think particularly for this season, that "bury your gays" thing… I didn't want to end on a downbeat for Ed and Stede. We did that in the first season. I like that there's a lot of different flavors. It's even a little melancholy because the Republic of Pirates got blown up. But there's still more good things."

Discusses production and plotting - "I wanted to start at the Republic of Pirates this season and end at the Republic of Pirates. And I knew I wanted the Republic of Pirates to be destroyed, ultimately. Within that, we are making a one-hour show on a half hour budget, on a half hour schedule."

Discusses planning the ending - "In terms of ending this season, it all felt right just in talking through it when we were in the room. It felt pretty intuitive. When you get to the third act of the story, things kind of settle in. There's gonna be a funeral. We always knew we wanted a wedding at the end of the second season. And I knew that I wanted Stede and Ed to start an inn together. So once you have those beats, it's kind of locked in."

Discusses Izzy's arc - "It's kind of a strange arc in that I knew we were going to put him through all these things, and I knew he would ultimately die. But I think him becoming a father figure to Ed in the last episode didn't really dawn on us until we were breaking the last episode. Asking what would this man say to Ed at the end because they've been together through everything? He went from a troubled and downtrodden employee to a jilted lover to a discarded employee, to someone that is just trying to find his footing again—no pun intended—to actually becoming this guy's parental figure on some level. And he's one person who kind of raised Ed right, because Blackbeard usually kills his parental figures. So, it felt right and it felt like that's how the mentor dies. The mentor in a story usually dies in the second act and then our hero has to go on and try to do it without them. It felt like the right journey for Izzy and a gratifying one for Con."

On leaving open for S3 - "I don't think it was a very hard thing to do. I think it was more that I felt a responsibility to leave Ed and Stede in a good place, at least for now. It's not gonna go well. They're not going to run a business well. Ed's too much of a talker. Stede can't focus. It's gonna be challenging."

Vulture - Oct 28, 2023 - with Sophie Brookover - Link

Discussing Izzy as a "father figure" and his S2 send-off being a priority

Meaning of piracy - "...what our pirates stand for is a life of belonging to something larger than they are in the face of a crushing, slightly fascist normalcy."

Re: Con O'Neill & Izzy's death - "I had to tell him about halfway through the season"

Third season about the work of a relationship between still damaged main characters

Discusses middles as about change and transitions, and wanting characters to change instead of reset, have them experience permanent consequences

About the final scene - "...Ed and Stede as the parents kind of watching the kids take the ship. Frenchie's the captain now..."

Objective of the crew - "...have had terrible things happen to them at the hands of colonial forces, so they want some payback. Party, plunder, and payback — the three P's."

Metro Weekly - Nov 1, 2023 - with Randy Shulman - Link

Discusses historical premise of S1 and easing into the romance

Discusses S2 genre - "In the second season, it was great because we know it's a romance and we can lead with that. It's a workplace show essentially. I wanted it to be more in the vein of early episodes of Grey's Anatomy or something where there are all these relationships on those shows. That's what you’re following — relationships and friendships that are taking place in a hospital, procedural. That's Grey's Anatomy. This is less procedural for the pirate stuff — and you need the pirate stuff."

Discusses not being into pirates - "But I'm like you. I'm not a big pirate person. In general, it's a big creaky genre that's hard to budge" + "Pirates of the Caribbean, those movies are great. That's not necessarily what I hunger to see, but in that genre, it's great. You're not going to beat that, especially on something that's lower budget. We've seen a lot of this stuff, so it's fun to take it then and don't do any of that stuff."

Discusses adapting historical piracy - "You don't want to see them punch down. You don't want to see them do terrible things to people who don't deserve it, which is not what they really did. So, in the show's world, I think piracy is like a stand-in for something. I think it's a stand-in for being an iconoclast and an outsider and queer in some ways and just different." + "Yeah, I mean, the British are there to be Stormtroopers, or Nazis in an Indiana Jones movie. I mean, they're in there to die essentially."

Discusses diversity staffing

Discusses performative masculinity

Discusses Izzy's death, happy endings, and openness to S3

#trust me i appreciate the irony of making an extensive word of god reference when i want people to stop blindly promoting word of god #(and also when i'm currently very irritated with the creators)#and fyi showrunners talk A LOT but i was already committed so this was more work than i was expecting #i'll even use a small bit of my extra hour of destiel day to post this (most of it was assembled while watching supernatural)#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd meta #david jenkins #word of god #ladyluscinia

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