#I did not mean to pose like an instagram baddie in that first pic I swearrr

[yhrite]

Went out to take photos in Northumberland with a friend and the quality of his DSLR photos always throws me as someone who is way too used to smartphone jpegs

[redbullgirly]

The Dancer [FA14 smau]

Fernando Alonoso x dancer!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Few months after, everybody laughs when they remember the rumors about Fernando Alonso and Taylor Swift dating. Would they laugh though if they new it maybe wasn't so far from truth as it may seem? Well, one thing's for sure - Y/N and Fernando will laugh very much while soft launching their relationship... and confusing everyone with swiftie content thanks to her job.

Warnings: Maybe wrong dates and timeline of The Eras Tour, but whatever XD.

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by alex_albon, zhouguanyu24, pierregasly and 562,109 others

fernandoalo_oficial I was taken by the view like we were in Paris... romance is not dead.

view all 4001 comments

user1 i dont think my brain can comprehend so many things all at once😨

user2 right? I'M IN SHOCK

user3 fr fernando wants to give us a heart attack😭

lilymhe I see what you did here...

alex_albon I indeed see what he did here too...😏

user4 guys tell us what he did pls I'm begging youuuu

user5 Alonso soft launching was not on my 2024 bingo card

user6 him soft launching with TAYLOR SWIFT wasn't on MY bingo card 😭

user7 How he's suddenly so hot in the first pic? Like damn sir okay🫢

user8 girlfriend effect is real y'all

georgerussell63 Mate you can't do that to me, I just woke up 😧

user8 lmfao princess georgie is as confused as we are xd

fernandoalo_oficial sorry mate, don't get wrinkles🤞

gerogerussell63 What even is that choice of emoji?

fernandoalo_oficial well, someone is original with an emoji and someone is original with a pose... choice is yours 😃

georgerussell63 Stop it's been almost a year 😭

user9 not them bullying each other💀

user10 Yeah the duo we didn't know we needed

user11 I saw the first picture and almost spat out my drink in shock of such a hot photo of Nando. Then I swiped and literally choked on it because the last think I'd ever expect from his photo dump is a soft lunch of some baddie girl🫣

user12 I am delusional for thinking Taylonso could still have a chance, aren't I?

user13 well i mean you basically answered it yourself so... yeah XD

user14 OMG WHAAAAAAT😱

user15 oh no Fernando is not single anymore💔

user16 I think I accidentally teleported into some alternative universe... what is thiiiis?

user17 REAL

user18 fuck me this man seriously used lyrics from paris by ts💀

user19 Idk why but I kinda like this new side of Fernando😻

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by taylorswift, fernandoalo_oficial, carmenmmundt and 5,234 others

tagged: taylorswift and 9 others

yourusername crazy performance, even crazier night out and the most crazy training the day after... I call that the life of a dancer😻🎉 also my head and heart did go vroom vroom after the second pic

view all 218 comments

taylorswift I call that the eras tour life!💗

yourusername yes ma'am!

user1 damn she got our queen Taylor replying to her posts... how does it feel to live my dream?!😭

yourusername amazing! 🥰

user2 such a shame my mum didn't force me to try dancing when I was little... I could have been at podium next to Taylor Swift right now 😃

liked by the author

user3 You are such a good dancer, the shows wouldn't be the same without you Y/N!

yourusername omg thank u sm I really appreciate that!!🥹

user4 sooo... are we gonna just ignore Fernando in the likes or what???

user5 THAT'S WHAT I CAME HERE TO SAY

user6 fr I need some crazy detective from twitter to figure this out😫

carmenmmundt Hey, could you give me and lilymhe vip tickets...?

yourusername I mean... everything can be done 😏 I'll just need to ask mother Taylor bc I just used my plus one at the last concert🫡

lilymhe OH MY GOD WE LOVE YOU Y/N

yourusername I love you girls as well, we have to finally meet sometimes!!!

carmenmmundt Yeah, I think we'll have chance at the end of February at the latest😉

user7 WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE

user8 Omg are they hinting Y/N at the Bahrain GP?? F1 season starts at the end of February right?!

goergerussell63 Well hello there, nice to meet you Y/N... given the fact my dear girlfriend doesn't care about me, could you give me and alex_albon vip tickets as well?😊

alex_albon Yeah Y/N we are very big fans😊

yourusername everything for the guys that go vroom vroom🫡

alex_albon Like your heart

yourusername exactly!

user9 I AM FREAKING OUT

user9 MY BRAIN HURTS FROM HOW MUCH IS GOING ON

user9 WAIT FUCK I THINK I GOT IT

user9 AAAHHH I FEEL LIKE SHERLOCK MF HOLMES

twitter & messages between Y/N and Fernando

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by selenagomez, fernandoalo_oficial, francisca.cgomes, astonmartinf1 and 8,234 others

yourusername preparing for the next season🤞

view all 1,029 comments

user1 y/n is literally living my dream life rn

georgerussell63 Oh no... he infected you with that emoji, didn't he?

yourusername we'll never know... maybe I infected HIM with it

gourgerussell63 I think higher of you and your taste in emojis

yourusername aww thanks princess georgie how sweet🥰

georgerussell63 I take it back

user2 HELLO?! what is happening💀

dancer1 excuse me little miss y/n... is that a man i'm seeing?🤨

yourusername well... maybe

dancer2 Be fr she's trying to soft launch him for like a month now😭

dancer1 okay i'm calling you rn STAY WHERE YOU ARE

user3 Guys why's nobody talking about the paddock pass in the 5th picture!!!!

user4 omg that's a PADDOCK PASS?😱

user5 yeah it is I noticed it thanks to this comment

user6 Wait... does that mean her and Fernando have been together longer? Because she already went to a race before the winter break??

user5 idk girl we don't even know for sure she's really dating him😓

user6 idgaf about who's dating her bc even without bf y/n's sooo hot like damn... mommy🥵

user7 I'm so confused... is this Alonso's girl or not?

user8 trust me user7 - we'd all like to know that😭

user9 😍

yourusername and fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram stories

yourusername story has been seen by taylorswift, lance_stroll and 13,634 others

fernandoalo_oficial story has been seen by charles_leclerc, astonmartinf1 and 308,003 others

user1 replied to yourusername story: is that an f1 driver there y/n

dancer1 replied to yourusername story: Hope he'll not disappoint me in person when you talked about him sm 😒

yourusername ohhh trust me you'll love him just as I do🥰

dancer1 omg bleeeeh I hope not 🫣

user2 replied to yourusername story: your friends are so pretty😩

taylorswift replied to yourusername story: When you'll take him to get my approval??

yourusername soon taylor, soon... I'm just afraid it'll break the internet lol

taylorswift I think we're used to that already with Travis at this point😂

yourusername true😭

fernandoalo_official replied to yourusername story: 🔥

yourusername it's going to be okay, they'll love you 🫶

fernandoalo_oficial how did you know I was nervous amor?

yourusername I saw you literally shaking when you left to the bathroom love...😹

yourusername oh they're back come quickly!!💞

fernandoalo_oficial onmw

user3 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: IS THIS THE CONFIRMATION WE NEEDED?!

user4 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I see what you're doing here old man 👀

user5 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: soft launch slowly turning into a hard launch and I'm here for it!!!!

dancer1 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I guess you aren't that bad in person...

fernandoalo_oficial 😁

user6 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: screaming crying throwing up

taylorswift replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: You better treat my best dancer right Alonso!🤍

fernandoalo_oficial of course ma'am! 🫡

user7 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: So cute!!😍

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, f1, yourusername and 601,239 others

tagged: yourusername

fernandoalo_oficial All these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret... #swiftie

view all 6,022 comments

yourusername I'd just like to make it clear to everybody that it's me who made him be swiftie... you're welcome💋

liked by the author

user1 OMG THE LYRICS FROM PEACE BY TAYLOR

carmenmmundt Y/N is so pretty!😍

yourusername ohh carmen ilysm you're even prettier🥹

user2 No way Fernando just really har launched his gf😭

f1 We smell a new wag!

user4 LOL you're kinda late for that admin xd

user5 Congrats and wish you well world champ!💪

user6 can we talk about how gorgeous she is???

lilymhe double date when honey?

yourusername anytime babeee!!!

fernandoalo_oficial why do I have a feeling me and alex_albon will be third-wheeling on you two?🤨

alex_albon you'll eventually get used to third-wheeling your own girlfriend and her friends, trust me fernando...���

user7 This girl is like a goddess, I can't even blame him ❤️🔥

user8 mommy & daddy

georgerussell63 Finally! Congratulation on the hard launch mate👍

fernandoalo_oficial and look who's original with emojis now...😂

user9 from now on this is my fav couple

user10 mine to

user11 SHUT UP THE DELULU GIRLIES ON TWITTER WERE RIGHT

lance_stroll 💚💚

user12 nah I don't know what he see in her🙄

user13 Go away we don't want the jealous haters here 🥱

kellypiquet Welcome to the F1 family yourusername!🤍

yourusername thx!💞

user14 i call this couple goals

user15 I'M SO READY FOR BOYFRIEND MATERIAL ALONSO

user16 I can already feel he'll be so hot in his new era 😩

user17 lmao nando in his swiftie and stlutty era as someone on twitter said😹

yourusername swiftie and slutty era? i like the sound of it😏

user16 not y/n reading all the comments sipping over her bf 💀

liked by yourusername

THE END

Author's Note: Hello everyone, hope you liked it! I'm not sure you should get used to me posting so often, but let's say that after Lance's social media au and the great feedback I had so much motivation... plus I'm sick, so I actually have the time to write and create XD. Anyway, I'll be glad for likes, comments, reblog and every other way of showing support! Have a great day and let me know how you liked Nando and swiftie dancer together!

[nutbanana]

haha whewwwwwww sis slap zimzalabim gays hello laid ease ! name is yuno title is local ghosting legend pronouns r she/her nd we are stuck with nutbanana until i come up w a sexie url <3 this is gna be new for those of u who know me but i’m gna be putting everything into a read more for now instead of slapping 3 links nd calling it a day so hold my hand 😳😳 and for those of u who don’t know me i have two hands for a Reason haha,, nd my disco is @ daddy yankee#7776 ! add me let’s go feral nd if u wna plot send me ur favorite heart emoji here or on disco <3

*   //   𝙻𝙾𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴 …   /𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙼𝙰𝙽/𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 : umeko saito, also known as hermes, is wanted for grand larceny. she is a twenty two year old female who has ties to the mastermind because of a charity event she was the face of.   𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷  : expensive fancy dresses, flirty stares from across the room, signing with red lipstick, a glass of champagne with diamonds in it. 𝙳𝙾 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙵𝙾𝚁  : minatozaki sana.

01.    background info.

pinterest board ─── umeko saito, twenty two, up-and-coming actress, doesn’t like to label her orientation, would definitely be part of cherry twitter

full list of aesthetics so far ( core to what shaped her ) : eating fruit on a balcony in your silk pyjamas, signing with red lipstick, strap of your dress snapping, flirty stares from across the room, a glass of champagne with diamonds in it, cherries seductively held between lips, expensive fancy dresses

umeko was born and raised into one of the most expensive neighborhoods in manhattan, daughter to a magnate and a socialité nobody thought would get too far together. luxury was the norm from the get go, and the low profile kept by her parents didn’t quite make their name go unnoticed among the elite of new york. summers were spent in the hamptons and on expensive trips, walk-in wardrobe stranger to everything below high-end and glasses of champagne coming in early

stardom was always in the back of her head. she loves being the center of attention, all eyes on her for as long as she can attrack them, and so the hunger only grew bigger the older she got. in her young, twisted mind, there wasn’t anything more eternal than the ineradicable link between character and actor, and she loves playing the role. the first real taste of fame came only a few years ago, and it became insatiable almost insantly. she’s been on the rise ever since and has scored quite a few big roles to be proud of

j came into the picture at a point in umeko’s life where she was having fun, but it wasn’t enough. something more exciting, more thrilling was missing. and so they met at a charity event where rich people feel like they’re contributing something to society by bidding big money for famous paintings where umeko was one of the faces of said event. she did not hesitate to join him. after all, it makes her feel like she’s playing an even bigger, more dangerous role

her code name has a lot to do with her as a person ! as a lil taste before getting to it, initially, it was going to be loki, the most infamous trickster, but she felt it gave too much away too fast, and although she felt it was the perfect code name, she opted for someone whose trickster label got overshadowed by more important duties, and so it came to be hermes, who, in a way, is also perfect for her

02.    personality breakdown.

umeko is........ an experience. she may be fun she may be chaotic

umeko saito’s biggest role is life itself, and she will die a legend or risk becoming a fraud. she was born yearning for attention, and she was born a trickster. she has always been manipulative, loved fooling and playing with people and twisting the narrative of herself, enamouring ( trapping ) others, a strange desire to be the dream girl. and she took it upon herself to make the world her personal stage. and maybe she has played the role for so long she has lost a bit of herself on the way, who knows !

everybody’s sweetheart, looks like a saint ─── yet is the devil holding a halo above their head. she loves to stir shit up, always up to something. won’t hesitate to create a scene if it’s needed, asked of her or solely because she’s bored. a lot of her boils down to being, getting bored. she’s a bit batshit, a bit unhinged <3

umeko is flirty. she likes to flirt, it’s fun, it’s another way to fool people, it’s entertaining, it feeds onto this being the girl of people’s dreams thing. it gets her things and opens ways for her, and she thrives off getting people hooked on her, specially men who think they got a chance with her ( they don’t )

she acts like a bimbo and surely looks like it but may not be one. or maybe she is. she could be a baby bimbo. an oblivious bimbo who plays the role of bimbo in real life. you decide because i can’t JKDGVDS

she’s dramatic to the v bone in more ways than one, loves bringing attention to herself and playing dumb, playing clumsy, an airhead, and she’s a bit of everything ( dumb, clumsy, airhead ), but she knows how to exaggerate it to her gain. u won’t catch her calling herself any of that tho

there really isn’t a big scheme, a big story, a trauma behind umeko’s behavior, some people are simply born certain way and she thrives off being this antagonistic, trickster being just because

03.    headcanons.

she lives by herself in a duplex penthouse located on the top floor somewhere in manhattan, she bought it with her first big paycheck. she also has a smaller ( to...... her standards ) apartment she got for her 18th birthday from her parents, and it’s where she takes flings or people who aren’t that close to her as not to disclose her real home

she’s the type to break the strap of her dress before walking out of a store with paparazzis waiting outside for her and pose like she’s marilyn monroe fighting against a burst of air with her white dress, and she’s like “omg no ! the strap of my snapped ! what to do ! don’t take pics or maybe do aha x”

most definitely checks tabloids and stuff after she pulls one of those numbers to grab attention so she can see the reactions And the pics. also probably has a neat instagram feed

she’s the epitome of “all girls do is 🥺🥺🥺🥺” and “girls always trynna ‘🥺🥺🥺‘ their way out of everything”. that’s her

loves cute two pieces pyjamas. silk ones, velvet ones, lace ones, and especially the see-through robes with fur you pair up with cute lingerie and pieces. when at home she’s usually in those, long robe big fur glass of wine in hand, and if not she’s wearing an expensive baddie dress she has no business wearing for no reason

she enjoys dating on and off, having flings, random sex. usually nothing too serious and without too many strings to get tangled in. would she be able to commit ? yes, probably, she daydreams about it sometimes, but it wouldn’t be so easy

despite umeko’s passion for creating a scene and stirring up the pot, she isn’t mean, nor is she someone who is found in conflicts or fights often, if at all. she tends to get along well with everyone ─── she’s playful, a bit crazy, and fairly outgoing. she’s nice despite all her antics. but there is one person that brings out the worst of her, though: nandy freda richardson, fellow new york city socialité with a shared feud going twenty years strong ! they have known each other since they were little and it has kept escalating ever since 💔 it ranges from petty, insignificant antics to more serious, real shit stuff. the catalyst ? nandy somehow managing to make umeko lose a minor role on a small movie she was really anticipating. umeko’s response ? selling her out to aspen when he came asking for more intel on rich people he could rob: she gave him all the information he needed, carefully crafted a foolproof plan then gifted aspen an all - expenses luxury vacation to a destination of his choice <3 umeko was like yeah ? ok i lose my role and you lose your safety money and that one of a kind dress i wanted aha x

when she was sixteen her then boyfriend cheated on her with some chick. the lad pulled the infamous move of playing single and messing with the girl’s heart, so she was unaware of their relationship and was left as mortified as umeko. umeko, though, felt humiliated and, above everything, disrespected, and she also felt for the other girl who was just as much a victim as herself. so umeko made sure he regretted even thinking of disgracing their worth and set for revenge: over the span of a few years she snatched five consecutive girlfriends, one after the other <3 she also kept a good relationship with the girl he cheated on her with