#I did end up getting rid of a lot of my muses

[scarletemeraldpurple]

Kinktober day 9: Lactation (posting this at 1 am on the 10th but ssshh)

Rio finds you on the brink of death, but it isn’t your time yet. She takes it upon herself to nurse you back to health.

CW: Reader suffers from homophobic violence, the consent is a bit dubious

Other notes: Very gentle Rio, lots of pet names, lactation with healing properties (and aphrodisiac properties), reader becomes Rio’s pet

“Well well, what have I found this time?” Rio mused to herself as she saw you on the ground, curled up, almost unconscious.

Death. You thought to yourself. Death has come to take me. It’s just as well.

“Let’s find out what your story is, hm?” Rio said, lightly massaging your temple.

What she found horrified her. You were dragged out here by a group of men. They beat you half to death, in theory it was because you were suspected of being a witch, in reality it was because one of them suspected you of trying to seduce his girlfriend.

“They don’t even truly know of the power you hold,” Rio said quietly, “it’s not your time to go yet, little one.”

That was the last thing you heard before blackness took over your vision.

You woke up in a cave, on a mat of woven vines.

“Sorry, I don’t have guests often and I don’t really sleep, this was the best I could do on short notice.” The strange witch who saved you said.

You tried to get up, you were unsuccessful, wincing at pain coming from your abdomen.

“Easy there sweetheart.” She sat beside you on the mat as you laid back down.

“I thought you were Death, coming to collect me.”

“Well in a sense I did, just not in the way you expected. But you can call me Rio.”

“Rio?”

“Rio Vidal, at first it was just a pseudonym, but I’ve gotten a bit attached to it.”

“River of Life, so Death has a sense of humor.”

“Gotta have one in my line of work.”

You chuckled lightly, which caused you to wince again.

Rio reached a hand out, very cautiously, to brush some hair out of your face. “I can help you with that, sweet thing.”

“Yeah? Why do you want to help me?”

“Someone’s a bit mistrustful.”

“Can you blame me?”

“No I cannot. Look, here’s the deal. I have something I need help with, and you can help me with it.”

“What exactly does Death need help with?”

“You forget that at the end of the day, I am a green witch. And there’s a little side effect of that I need help with.”

You looked at her confused.

“What exactly do you know about witches?”

“Not a lot. Managed to find an old banned book about potions but that’s been about it.”

Rio nodded slowly. “Okay well…how should I break this down? I can help heal you, quickly in fact.”

“Okay. And in return I?”

“You help me get my breasts to stop aching.”

Your eyes widened.

“You drink from me, it heals you, I get rid of my milk from this cycle.”

You could not believe what you were hearing. She had to be joking right? Maybe Death’s sense of humor was more twisted than you thought.

Then Rio flung her top off, and you saw her nipples leak a bit. “Think you can get on your side or do I need to straddle you?”

“Does it have to be like, mouth to tit? Can I not use a cup or something?”

“You could if I had any.”

“Right, right, guess you don’t really need to do the ‘sustenance for survival thing’.”

“Look, sweetheart , you can spend possibly months healing, unable to sit up for weeks. Orrrrrr, you can put your mouth on my tits and both of our lives will be so much easier.”

You really did not mean to be staring at her chest, but they were big…full, and right in front of you.

“You’re not exactly being subtle, doll.” Rio said, bringing a hand to cup one of them. “C’mon, it won’t take that long, you don’t even need to drink all of it to heal. And I’ll still get some relief.”

Fuck it. You thought to yourself. “Okay. Y’know making a deal with Death was not really on my agenda for today.”

Rio smiled. She slid next to you and gently coaxed you to your side. You cautiously wrapped your lips around her nipple. She stroked your hair encouragingly.

“There you go, just like that.” She let out a moan. “Oh you’re good at that baby.”

It really did work quick. You were already starting to feel better. You felt calmer too. You weren’t sure how to describe what it tasted like, but it was good, and you wanted to keep going.

“Mmm, feeling better baby?” Rio asked.

You were but you found yourself in a haze. It just felt so good to keep sucking. To keep drinking Her in.

“Mmm, I bet you are. You should be all healed up actually. But you can keep drinking that works for me. You’re awful cute like this.” She scratched at the back of your scalp and you moaned around her.

“Maybe I should keep you. Yeah, I think I’ll do that. You’d like taking care of me like this every month, wouldn’t you pet?” Rio mused as she petted you.

“Other side now if you wouldn’t mind. Not that you’d mind very much right now.” She chuckled.

You readjusted so that you were on top of her, now drinking as much as you could from her other tit.

“It’s been so long since I’ve had such an eager little mouth on me. You feel so good pet.” She reached an hand between her legs. “You’re being so good for me baby, just keep sucking.” She said as she started to rub her clit to the sight of you.

She had stopped leaking into your mouth so you detached and realized how worked up you had gotten…how worked up she had gotten.

“Kiss me, pet.”

You didn’t hesitate to obey. Her free hand wrapped around the back of your neck as she let you explore her mouth with your tongue. You moaned into her.

“Easily excited little thing aren’t you?” Rio whispered against your lips. “Fuck baby I’m so close, fuck, yeah keep looking at me like that.” She said as she grabbed your jaw, wanting those big doe eyes on her for as long as possible.

You felt her shake underneath you as she came. Eye contact broken as she screwed her eyes shut in pleasure. You stroked her hair, totally in awe.

Rio composed herself and brought her fingers to your lips.

In that moment you realized you never wanted to be done tasting her, every part of her.

“Such a good little pet. Already so well trained.” She teased. She adjusted you so that your legs were on either side of her thigh. “This is the last thing I want from you tonight okay? Can you cum for me, sweetheart?”

You nodded and started grinding against her. Every sensation seemed so intense tonight.

“I did forget to warn you about something my dear. See I can just heal people, but if someone is healthy, then drinking from me can act…as a bit of an aphrodisiac. Feeling a little fuzzy?”

You nodded and continued rocking your hips against her.

“I could have stopped you I suppose. But you were just so cute. And I bet if felt really good didn’t it?”

You nodded again, whimpering.

“And I bet this feels amazing right?”

“Uh-huh” you moaned out.

“Oh did I make you lose your words? That’s okay. Pet’s don’t need words, they just need to hump or suck, or whatever else I tell them to do. And right now? I want you to cum.”

Your body complied with her demand. She took your hips and made sure you rode all the way through it. You collapsed on top of her.

“Big night huh sweet thing?”

“Mhm.”

“Get some sleep my dear. I’ll be right here.”

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

It's difficult to come up with something relevant to say after I had my moment of excitement last night. Yes, I did stay up to watch the launch trailer and then I think I managed to fall asleep around 4:30? Jikook are ruining my sleep schedule, that's for sure.

I have also watched the trailer an embarrassing amount of times. In slow-motion too....But what can we do when there's fast pace editing and blink and you miss Jikook being cute together?

So far, it's been exactly what I expected the show to look like and for them to be with each other. Doing lots of activities, laughing and cloud gazing. I expect more mellow moments in the next trailer, but also the crazier ones. I'm not forgetting the MMA fight or Jungkook saying how everything got once Jimin arrived.

There would be plenty to tell about each single thing from that teaser, but my brain is working at half capacity so I'll focus on a few things that I remember.

Their time in Jeju and Connecticut was before they got their approval for buddy enlistment which I think will make those trips special in their own way. Perhaps a sort of melancholy intertwined with the joy and freedom of being together.

Just beautiful. That's all I have to say here.

It looked like Jimin was grabbing the umbrella perhaps in an attempt to either take it for him or get rid of it. Nothing like getting soaking wet on a hot summer day. Rainy Day Playfight 2.0.

It's cruel to know that Jimin here is wearing glasses but the clip is too short to see him raise his head. I'm always on the Jimin in glasses agenda.

KooKoo looks like a baby here, such a cutie. I bet that photo ends up in the photobook.

That's all I have for now, although I know there's plenty left to talk about. My inbox is open anyway.

There's going to be a while until the next trailer which will make time feel like slowing down. But I have Muse until then!

[space-blue]

Melina, Messmer and the Gloam Eyed Queen.

Disclaimer : this is not my theory. I saw it in a buried youtube comment and it rings so damn true I want you all to see it! From this guy, in this video.

OK so I was watching a lore video and disagreeing with a lot of it. Good stuff though, and the comments were fun. As I scrolled, I saw this, which blew my socks away and is definitely my personal take now! (the comment is edited for readability)

Melina is a daughter to Marika and Radagon. This is confirmed as she’s represented by a butterfly. The butterflies we can find in game all represent the children of Marika and Radagon.

Nascent butterfly represents Miquella, Aeonian butterfly represents Malenia, Smouldering butterfly represents Melina. And then in the dlc we’re introduced to Messmer and Black Pyreflies.

I like to believe that the children of Marika and Radagon come in twos. First came the twins Melina and Messmer, and then came Miquella and Malenia. The later share a contrasting theme, Miquella is cursed with eternal youth while Malenia is cursed with Scarlet Rot which caused her to rapidly decay, symbolizing old age and death.

And then we have Melina and Messmer who both share the theme of fire. Messmer has his own flame, a flame which is notably different from any other pyromancy in the game, his fire is more red and more aggressive. He is able to share his fire with his followers, his fire knights who cast incantations of Messmer’s flame. Then when we kill Messmer, we obtain his flame as a physical item.

Now Melina’s flame was black flame, and in contrast to Messmer’s flame which could burn away all physical things, Melina’s black flame could burn metaphysical things (being burned by black flame does hp damage because it’s burning your very soul) and just like Messmer, Melina was able to pass on her black flame power to her own ‘knights’ the Godskins.

And so Messmer went on to use his flame to burn the enemies his mother pointed him at, where as Melina desired to burn the things that she could, she wanted to burn the Erdtree.

Marika couldn’t risk Melina tearing down everything she had worked for, so she had Maliketh confront Melina and defeat her. Maliketh then took Melina’s black flame just as we take Messmer’s flame, and he converted it into destined death, giving Maliketh sole control over the only thing that can kill the soul, thus truly killing someone once and for all.

(Note, Maliketh didn’t have destined death when he defeated Melina, which is why she’s still around, he killed her, but couldn’t get rid of her for good, nor did he need to once he took her power away.)

So when we meet Melina, she doesn’t know who she is or what her purpose is, but in time, she ultimately arrives at the same conclusion once again, she wants to burn the Erdtree, even without her black flame, she’s still the same person. We can then see to her wishes and use her to burn the Erdtree OR we can spare her and burn the Erdtree with the flame of frenzy.

And then in the flame of frenzy ending, we see Melina take on a new form, her original form, the form of The Gloam-Eyed Queen. Why has she reverted to this old form?

Because we kill Maliketh and unleash destined death, thus returning Melina’s black flame power to her.

The idea of Melina and Messmer being twins is backed up further by their association with the serpents. Messmer’s association with the serpents is obvious, where as Melina’s connection relies on the theory of her being the Gloam-Eyed Queen, where she’d then be associated with the Godskins, and we know the Godskins are associated with serpents.

My own musings...

What if Maliketh defeated Melina/the Gloam Eyed Queen, but let her be. Deafeated doesn't mean killed. It's possible she was burnt and bodiless because Messmer destroyed her. Marika already makes him do her dirty deeds with his subjugation of the shadowland, isn't it possible he requested he burn his sister so she could better control her as a spirit?

Things that don't really gel : why would Melina be "queen" of anything. Where would she have ruled? If she's an empyrean, as we know she was, where is her shadow bound beast, and more importantly, why wasn't Messmer? We know both Miquella and Malenia have no shadows (as far as we can tell) but were also both Empyreans despite the curse.

Perhaps it's because Melina inherited Grace, while Messmer didn't.

Perhaps the flames aren't the curse, but only the serpent inside of him. Making him uneligible, not only for grace, but also for empyrean status.

Now that I think about it, there's NOTHING to support this, but it's possible that Melina could have been the queen Marika puts in charge of all the shadowlands while she's off with Messmer in the Lands Between. There is a lot of death there. Maliketh and Messmer could have come for her together, Messmer burning her/returning her to Marika to control (and use later on).

[seuonji]

彡 my rockstar boyfriend — lee chan

★ he’s shy but for you, he wants to be confident.

notes ๑ vocalist!chan, college setting, band au.

genre ๑ fluff

warnings ๑ non

word count ๑ —

req: hiyaaa :D i hope you're having a great day :> i was wondering if your reqs are still open, and if yes, can u write about rockstar bf dino version? :3 thank you for your hard work !! — @chweverni

from aya: HII!! i am thank you so much<33 yes i can write that for you!!! thank you for requesting!! ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

vocalist bf lee chan left a message….”yn, i came up with a new song. can i come over and play it for you?”

i feel like he’d be a vocalist so frontman of the band. that or drums! but yk like dino is literally a whole ass all rounder i could say he’d fit as pianist or guitarist and it would make sense!! (he doesn’t give me bass vibes tho idk why)

and omg he’s actually the sweetest ever!

when he comes up with a rhythm or some lyrics, he goes straight into the producing room. he spends a lot of time with his band to make the song sound perfect.

somehow he’s able to make all the songs about you. you could go to a park and do nothing and he’d make a song about that.

seriously, he’s so man in love and you’re his muse.

but i feel like offstage, he’d be the shy type with a significant other. like he’s confident until his crush walks into the room.

he doesn’t invite you to practice even if you beg him because he’s just way too scared about messing up infront of you.

yet before gigs/shows, he’s so clingy. like that’s how he gets rid of the jitters. as you two sit on the couch in the dressing room, he just nuzzles into your space until he feels okay.

you two have a ton of selfies backstages, you take at least ten everytime you two are there.

despite his jitters, he’s an absolute god on stage, all of his nerves are gone and his aura is intense and almost intimidating yet there’s a softness in his gaze when he sees you in the crowd and a smile even creeps up on his face.

he also has heavy metal/serious songs which tends to be funny to watch because it’s just him performing a song with so much passion and fire in his eyes then when it ends, he’s back to smiling, giving you a face that’s asking, “i did well right?”

after he’s done performing, he jumps off the stage and runs to you, tackling you into a hug. he wouldn’t be able to perform all of these songs in top condition if you’re not there.

if you couldn’t make it to his gig, he’d be lying if he said he’s not upset.

there’s a clear difference in his voice when you’re there and when you’re not.

he likes to show you off so when you two are out.

when he finds fans taking picture of the both do you, he raises up your hand thats holding his and waves to them as long as you’re comfortable with it.

his social media profile picture is a picture of you and him.

he tends to sing all the time. like. that’s your warning that he’s nearby. you just hear his sweet delicate voice incoming.

[crownmemes]

Criminal Sentences, Vol. 16

(Sentences from various sources for criminals and/or dangerous muses. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"You want to execute him? We could bury him right out here. I don't care."

"Why should I be worried about my conscience?"

"Whatever you're thinking, it's not going to work. You're not going to get away with it."

"Thank you for not pressing charges!"

"Just a quick tip; you never want to block a punch with your face."

"Swear to me that you had nothing to do with this!"

"I am not merciful, you understand?"

"It's one hell of a day when a gunfight's the second most exciting thing that happens to you!"

"Have the police been to see you?"

"I am required to kill, so I kill."

"Do you enjoy threatening people?"

"Have you seen what a 12 gauge shotgun can do to a human body?"

"Everything they say about you is true!"

"You are good, but you're not that good."

"Are you in danger of becoming a good man?"

"Nothing quite as pretty as napalm at night."

"Is this where you warn me that this town isn't big enough for the both of us?"

"Killing this guy isn't going to fill up what's missing in your life."

"Have you not yet realised that there's no way out?"

"Tell me why I'm here. You never bring me anywhere near your work."

"You should probably be thinking about who hates you enough to want you dead."

"I'm going to do you the honour of letting you die superbly."

"As always, your support is undercut at the end by a vague threat."

"I believe in you. Well, until it's no longer in my best interest, and then..."

"It seems my life is in your hands once again."

"You're following me. I don't care to be followed."

"I don't do guns, okay? I might shoot you by accident!"

"Do you want me to feel threatened?"

"Being killed is an occupational hazard."

"You're making this a lot harder than it needs to be."

"There's no such thing as forgiveness. People just have short memories."

"He scares me, but, you know, in a way, you scare me much more."

"Such caution in a man like you - it seems so wrong!"

"If you disrupt my plans, I will have no further use for you. Do you understand?"

"What am I supposed to call you?"

"How did you expect to get away with this?"

"If I help you, then you help me, right?"

"Once you've got the smell of what human beings do to each other in your nostrils, you'll never get rid of it."

"A man doesn't have to be brave to pull the trigger, but he must be brave enough to face the consequences."

"Looking at my tie pin? It's the finest species of human molar."

[rahuratna]

Hello hello! I have yet another musing (even though it isn’t one am) 🥹

There was one line Megumi said in season one that stood out to me: he will save people unequally based on his own conviction. Perhaps this was initially intended to be a foil for Yuji, but I ended up comparing it with Geto’s ideology. One acknowledges that not all of humanity is worth saving, that not all of the weak is necessarily innocent. And the other takes it to the extreme, that the weak are “polluting” the world, forcing sorcerers to become nothing more than disposable tools.

The reason I bring this up is because I couldn’t understand Geto for the life of me. Perhaps it is a good thing that I do not relate to a mass murderer LOL. Specifically it was his extremism that threw me off. Why didn’t he just leave like Nanami? Why not live off the grid and enjoy life doing whatever he wanted to do? Why put in so much effort in something that wasn’t even going to be realized in the first place?

So after reading up about it, I finally understood the back-to-back events that led him down that path. There’s a lot of analysis out there explaining it, and it made sense. That Geto will always be against non-sorcerers since he blames them for creating the curses causing sorcerers to have to sacrifice themselves. That there was no end goal, curses will never stop existing and sorcerers would continue to die in an endless cycle. He needed a reason to justify all the pain he had to go through.

But. I was not satisfied with that answer LOL. It seems almost TOO cold-hearted in a way. I mean, yes you need to be cold-hearted to be able to commit genocide, but Geto was not completely emotionless. Especially when he adopted the two girls, didn’t kill any of the Jujutsu High students, and was still able to smile in front of Satoru during his end…

Hm, I don’t think I’m very good at articulating this part of what I’m thinking. But it’s kind of like how I can understand the reasons why Eren killed 80% of the earth’s population. So the people that made up HIS world would be able to live better lives. I was able to understand this because we had followed his journey from the very beginning. We knew just how precious the reason he was fighting for was, and we also saw the exact world he envisioned. With Geto, we weren’t given the same opportunity to go in depth to what he valued.

The reason for Eren’s genocide was emotional: it was for his friends. Like we could say, “yeah, Eren killed almost all of humanity because they were opponents and would’ve destroyed Paradis,” but there’s another layer of meaning behind it ykwim. With Geto, framing his reason for genocide in order to get rid of all non-sorcerers just doesn’t seem to capture the full extent of his purpose. MAYBE IM JUST OVERTHINKING IT BUT MAYBE—

Perhaps what I was looking to hear were two things:

- why Geto thought the world would have looked like without non-sorcerers

- what happened during his isolation when Gojo and Geto were in their third years of high school

I vaguely remember this scene from the jjk movie where Geto went a bit batshit when he saw the Jujutsu working together to beat him. I think? Anyways, I think it revealed how Geto was fighting for sorcerers to be able to be together. But maybe he was also fighting for the relived memories when both Gojo and Geto were strong together, how they were able to overcome anything together. That was probably one of the happiest times in Geto’s life. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to happy anymore after he had changed… and Gojo too… so perhaps he was trying to revive the moments that made him the happiest… That’s wishful thinking on my part but these types of thoughts absolutely change my perception on Geto (I still don’t condone genocide 🫠).

Lastly, we were given a glimpse— a crumb, really— of the drift between Gojo and Geto. This part really is up for speculation because we did not watch what happened throughout their third year. The part that I haven’t really heard much about is loneliness. Maybe people describe Gojo’s loneliness but I haven’t heard much about Geto’s loneliness. The extent of it, the impact it had on his descension, was it preventable, and what would’ve changed if he wasn’t alone. That’s where the song “Akari” might help answer some questions but this ask is wayyyyyy too long.

Omg, I’m so sorry if I am incoherent because I’m definitely rambling! It started off with Gumi then extremism talks then Eren then… yeah… I suppose my thoughts about Geto have been unresolved for a long time (aka 3 days💀)

Hey! Another lovely ask, yay! So, I think that you expressed this whole analysis far better than I could. I think the comparison to Eren is very apt, considering that these are two characters who are shown to be empathetic, to feel strongly about issues that affect those they care about and take decisive action on those ideologies ...

... unfortunately ending up committing mass murder. Where Eren's character arc ended was a hard to swallow, but understandable one to me. Considering everything he'd experienced and the burden placed on his shoulders, Eren's choice carried a lot of weight. He socialized with his victims! People who would die horrific and violent deaths at his hands, and he FELT the weight of their lives. It broke something inside him, and once he made the decision, there was no backing down. It would have been a sacrifice poorly spent (in his mind) if he didn't follow through with those plans for a safer world for HIS people.

The word that comes to mind when I think of Geto is 'isolation', something that @pmpmyread got into really well in her analysis. The things that happened to him were terrible and sent him spiraling into deep depression, but a lot of his isolation was also self-imposed. Nothing is more insular than building your own cult, which looks down on regular humans as trash and regularly kills them without batting an eye.

You're absolutely right about us not seeing enough of Geto's thoughts as he spiraled further, making his genocidal tendencies more difficult to explain, considering who he was at the outset. However, I do believe the answer lies in the underlying reasons that cults can exist, in spite of human logic and free will.

Because people need a space where they belong.

Geto was suddenly in a very dark and lonely place, where he was beginning to realise that he hated humans for creating the necessity for sorcerers to risk their lives, and that there was no desire to remain a sorcerer either, as their world was equally driven by corrupt and soulless motivations. He carved a space for himself, and other curse users, where he would finally feel a little less isolated. At least, that's the impression I got. His group trusts him implicitly, and risk themselves for his ideals, so there must be some form of bond he has created, even if, like most cults, it stems from an 'us against them' ideology.

And apart from all of this, Geto still preserved some sense of humanity. This is the same man who showed genuine care for his group and who still smiled at Gojo before he died. He still recognized the strength and value of his enemies, because they had once been his friends, in another place where he had belonged, a long time ago.

Those are my thoughts, and I'll stop there because I can also ramble on and on and lose the plot, LOL. Please send more thoughts (whether 1 am or any other time) when they strike you like lightning! It feels like having a great cup of tea with a like mind and good friend!

[makeitmingi]

Cause Baby You're My Muse [Chapter 24]

Genre: Romance, Idol!AU, Music, Slight angst

Pairing: Mingi x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Producer!Reader, IdolLyricist!Mingi, IdolProducer!Hongjoong, Idol!Seonghwa, Idol!Yunho, Idol!Wooyoung, Idol!San, Idol!Yeosang, Idol!Jongho, cameo(s) by other celebrities

Summary: You always preferred producing underground, having an unknown face and governed by your own rules. But when you start freelancing for idol groups, you say goodbye to your lone wolf lifestyle as you learn to work with idol producers and lyricists.

Word count: 3.2K

"Okay, I think that's enough." Yeosang said as Hongjoong was trying to "shake" out the last drip of soju from the bottle. Mingi nodded in agreement, casting you a look. You were curled up against Seonghwa's side, snuggling into the older male.

"Party... poop...er." Hongjoong scoffed with a slur in his voice. He pouted as Yeosang threw the empty bottle into the bag.

"You good Mingi?" Yeosang asked.

"Yeah." As much as he wanted to move you into his embrace, he helped Yeosang clear up first. He got started on the dishes while Yeosang went to get rid of the trash and recycling.

"Mings?" You whimpered. Mingi immediately dropped what he was doing and rushed to your side.

"Are you okay, baby?" He asked softly, touching your warm cheek.

"Mhmm... But can I hug you?" You held out your hands. Mingi chuckled but leaned forward to let you clumsily wrap your arms around him. You buried your face into his shoulder.

"You smell nice." You commented.

"I use your soap. We smell the same." He replied, rubbing your back. Not realising that he was still "awake", Hongjoong was watching the whole thing. He pushed himself to stand up and stumbled over to where you and Mingi were having your moment. Hongjoong wobbled as he tried to separate you and Mingi.

"Y-Yah... Y-You... What are you doing to my baby sister? Huh?!" Hongjoong frowned as he pointed at Mingi.

"I'm not doing anything to her, hyung." Mingi sighed. He wasn't too worried, Hongjoong probably won't remember any of this tomorrow when he sobers up.

"You better not be..." Hongjoong warned.

"Sit and sleep, hyung." Mingi guided the captain to sit on the couch. Then he went to you, carrying you up bridal style.

"Weee!" You cheered like you were on a rollercoaster. Mingi chuckled and brought you to your room, laying you down on your bed. he tucked you in.

"Please don't leave me." You held his hand.

"I won't leave you. But I have to take care of the others too. I promise I'll be back." Mingi bent down so he was at your eye level.

"I'll wait for you." You declared.

"No, don't do that. Go to sleep, pretty girl, hmm?" Mingi kissed the top of your head. You wrapped your arms around his waist to hug him again. Afraid that Yeosang might come back and see or hear you two, Mingi tucked your back under the covers.

"Goodnight." He kissed your forehead and went back out to the living room. Yeosang was already there, trying to get the others to calm down and go to sleep.

"What song should we sing now?!" San asked, jumping to his feet.

"Quiet down, you'll wake the neighbours. And no more singing! Everyone sleep now." Yeosang scolded.

"No, we don't need sleep. I can still dance." Yunho said. Mingi sighed and went to help move Seonghwa up onto the couch to share the space with Hongjoong.

"Where's my drink?" Seonghwa asked.

"There are no more drinks, hyung. You've drank a lot, it's time to sleep now." Mingi coaxed.

When Mingi stood up, he counted everyone and realised someone was missing. That was when he looked up and saw your bedroom door open. Pursing his lips, he walked into your room to find Wooyoung cuddling with you. Mingi swore he almorst burst a blood vessel watching Wooyoung lay in his spot.

"Ah, this Jung Wooyoung. How did he end up here?" Yeosang poked his head into the room and saw the situation. Mingi would like to know too.

"I'm not letting him stay here." Mingi mumbled.

"Can you manage?" Yeosang asked as he watched Mingi pull Wooyoung up by his arm.

"Yeah. Go ahead and settle the rest or sleep." Mingi replied. Yeosang nodded and left your bedroom. Wooyoung whined, not liking that he was being separated from you and pulled out of the warm bed.

"This is my spot and that's my girl, Jung Wooyoung. Doesn't mean you're drunk means I won't punch you." Mingi growled in his ear.

"If I don't get to sleep here tonight, you sure as hell won't get to as well." He yanked Wooyoung out.

"Just park him here." Yeosang said, tapping the space beside San. Mingi put Wooyoung down and he immediately wrapped his arms around his soulmate.

"Is your back alright to sleep there?" Yeosang asked.

"Yeah. Luckily she has these mats down for Haneul so we're not sleeping on the cold floor." Mingi took one of the couch cushions and put it under his head. All he had to do was wait for Yeosang to sleep before going back to you.

Drunk or not, he wasn't going to break his promise to you of returning back to your side. He would just go lay down with you for a bit and make sure you're okay.

"We're going to have to order a lot of hangover soup tomorrow morning." Mingi sighed.

"That's if they wake up in the morning." Yeosang replied.

"Why didn't you drink too? I think I probably drank even more than you." Yeosang suddenly asked. Luckily it was dark or else Yeosang would have seen Mingi's flustered reaction.

"Just didn't feel like it. I don't drink anymore, remember? Plus, it's not fair for you to be the only one to take care of the members again. And last time you had manager hyungs to help you." Mingi lied.

"Oh... Thank you for doing that." Yeosang said, no suspicion in his voice at all.

"Goodnight." Mingi wished and Yeosang hummed. Mingi waited for Yeosang to put his phone away to sleep. But just to be sure, he waited for a bit before standing up. In the dark, he scanned to see if anyone reacted to him moving then moved to your room. You were hugging your pillow.

"My baby." He slid into his side of the bed, pulling the pillow away so you hug him instead. Mingi adjusted you to lay on his arm and you immediately gravitated to his warmth.

"You're here?" You looked up at him sleepily.

"I promised I would come back." Mingi said softly, kissing your temple as he stroked the back of your head.

"You're... good at keeping... promises..." You murmured, starting to drift back to sleep. Mingi let out a small laugh, melting at how cute you were.

Mingi stayed with you and only went back to where the boys were sleeping just before sunrise. He stood at the doorway, reluctantly to leave you but he knew he had to.

"See you when you wake up." He gave you another peck and went out, laying in his original spot beside Yunho.

Seonghwa and Yeosang were the first to wake up. While Seonghwa nursed his hangover headache, Yeosang ordered hangover soup for everyone to be delivered. He also ordered a box of hangover cure drinks from the mart delivery.

"Here, hyung. Take this first. I don't know if Indigo has Advil for you." Yeosang handed one of the small bottles of hangover cure to Seonghwa. The older groaned but took it.

"You're an angel, Sang ah." Seonghwa said, downing the liquid and cringing at the bitter taste.

"Everyone gets one hangover cure then one soup, when it gets delivered." Yeosang said from his seat on the floor.

"Ugh, my stomach..." You stumbled out of your room. You went to Seonghwa, yawning as you laid your head in his lap. Seonghwa naturally made space for you.

"Hangover cure?" Yeosang offered.

"No... It tastes bad." You whined, turning away so you faced Seonghwa's stomach instead.

"Come on, it'll make you feel better. I don't like it too but I still drank it." Seonghwa coaxed like a mother to her child. You pouted unhappily as you took the opened bottle and drank it. Immediately, you ran to the fridge to find one of your bottles of cold coffee to wash the taste out of your mouth.

"Everything okay?" Mingi 'woke up' at the commotion.

"Yeah, Indigo just doesn't like the taste of the hangover cure." Seonghwa explained.

"I'm going to brush my teeth. Yuck." You shuddered and went to the bathroom to brush your teeth. Before that, you went to find some spare toothbrushes for all the boys.

One by one, the boys woke up, most of them suffering from hangover symptoms. Yeosang gave them each a hangover cure.

"I'll make coffee for those that need it." You announced. Mingi came over to "help you".

"You feeling okay?" He asked.

"Mhmm. Once I have the hangover soup, I'll feel better. Don't worry." You smiled with reassurance. While you made the coffee for everyone, Mingi poured the soups into two pots to heat up. The boys all gathered after washing up.

"My head is still throbbing." Hongjoong groaned, face planting onto the table.

"I don't feel too bad." San blinked.

"Because you practically passed out after like the third shot. What a light weight." Jongho replied with a snort. San glared at the youngest in annoyance.

"Rather than the alcohol, all the supper food made me so swollen. Geez." Wooyoung complained, looking at his reflection on his phone.

"Pufferfish." You squished Wooyoung's cheeks while laughing. He swatted your hands away with an unhappy pout.

"Careful. Hot soup coming." Mingi brought one of the pots to the table while Yunho held the other one. Seonghwa made sure everyone had their own bowl of rice while you went to the fridge to get some kimchi for everyone. Jongho sipped his iced coffee, letting out a contented hum.

"I really needed this life saver." Jongho said.

"I'll portion the soup out." Wooyoung held the ladle and gave out the spicy beef soup to everyone. Even just the smell made you feel better as your stomach growled in hunger.

"Thank you for the food." You all chimed before digging in. The moment you all took your first sip, you sighed blissfully.

"Wow, that hits the spot." Yunho said. You nodded in agreement.

Everyone was quiet as they ate their food. With the warm soup in your system, you felt a wave of exhaustion hit you. You yawned, leaning your head on San's shoulder.

"Are you tired?" San looked down at you.

"The soup is making me feel sleepy. I'm going to need a nap after this." You told him.

"I guess the alcohol was good for one thing. It made Indigo catch up on all the sleep she missed." Hongjoong commented with a snicker and you kicked him under the table with a glare. He yelped in pain and glared back at you.

The boys helped you clean up before calling their manager to pick them up, going back to their dorm to sleep off the rest of their hangover. But Mingi stayed back.

"You guys go. I'm sober so I'll head to my studio to do some work." Mingi said to his members.

"I can drop you after I drop the others at the dorm." The manager offered.

"No, it's okay. I'm going to drop by my mum's restaurant first then go to the studio." Mingi replied, putting his hands into his pockets. They nodded and piled into the van, driving off to the dorm.

"Baby, I'm back. Where are you?" Mingi entered your house, closing the door behind him.

"In here!" You called out from your bedroom.

"Finally, I can have you to myself." Mingi removed his hoodie, revealing his tank top underneath. He rolled onto bed, hugging you as he showered you in kisses. You laughed from how squeamish you were until you winced from your head that was hurting. Mingi stood up and went to get you water.

"I'm going to get Advil from your medicine box." Mingi took the tray out from the fridge and found the bottle of Advil. He poured out two pills and came back to you.

"Thank you." You took the pills and chased it with the water. Now, you just wanted to sleep with Mingi hugging you.

"Comfy?" Mingi asked as you pressed yourself to him.

"Mhmm." You mumbled. He chuckled, lightly patting your lower back to coax you to sleep like you would do to a baby. You fell asleep quickly, lulled to sleep by Mingi's warmth and his patting.

"You're so cute." He cupped your cheek gently, lightly kissing your nose but careful not to disturb you.

Mingi did admit that he was jealous. Now that he was in a relationship with you, he realied just how close you had become with his members. There were times Mingi just wanted to tell them you were his but he wanted to respect your wishes to be private.

"I'll just have to wait." Mingi sighed to himself, closing his eyes to join you in dreamland. Just like how you slept better with Mingi around, Mingi experienced the same thing when he was with you.

When Mingi woke up, you were not in bed. He pushed himself to sit up, looking around the dark room.

"Baby?" He croaked out. There was no reply.

"Babes? Where are you?" He emerged from the room, roughly running his fingers through his hair. You were in your studio, headphones on as you were lost in your music.

"Hmm~ Hmm~" You hummed softly to yourself. You didn't even notice Mingi opening the door.

"Baby?" He stepped to the side, not wanting to scare you with his sudden appearance. Your eyes glanced over at him.

"Mings, you're awake." You greeted with a smile as you turned your chair to face him. Mingi nodded with a hum, approaching you and wrapping his arms loosely around you.

"Yes, you left me and I had to wake up alone." He pouted. You laughed at how he reminded you of a child that woke up without his parents beside him.

"Sorry, I forgot I needed to submit this by tonight. It's an external project. My last submission for now before I completely focus on Ateez stuff only." You explained. Mingi nodded his head, understanding where you were coming from. He didn't complain any further, sitting on the couch behind you.

"I'll be done soon. Sorry." You put your headphones back on, but only covering one ear so you could still hear Mingi.

"Stop apologising, baby. I know you have to work, it's okay." Mingi replied. He laid his long body across the couch, playing a game on his phone while he waited for you.

"What time do you have to go to your studio?" You asked.

"I'll go after dinner then ask my manager to pick me up from there." Mingi informed. This was something he did to make it more believable.

"Baby..." Mingi put his phone down and lifted his head. You stopped typing and turned to look at him.

"Hmm?" You tilted your head.

"Do you want to meet my mum?" He randomly asked. He grew nervous, worried that he was pushing you too fast or pressuring you. But to his surprise, you shrugged and nodded.

"If we're dating, it's only right that I introduce myself to her, right? Why don't you set something up before we start to get busy with the recording? We can go out or drop by her new place for dinner, whatever she prefers." You blinked.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Why? Do you actually not want me to meet her?" You chuckled as you went back to your work.

"N-No! I mean, it's not that. I was just asking because the thought came to me randomly. I was worried I might be moving too fast or pressuring you or something." Mingi rubbed the back of his neck.

"No. Mings, we're in a relationship. Just talk to me, don't be worried about my reaction or else we'll end up walking on egg shells around each other." You smiled.

"True. I don't want us to be like that." Mingi said.

"Me too. So just come to me, speak freely. It's okay." You giggled. Mingi stood up and went to you, kissing the top of your head.

"Should I start on dinner? I can make something simple." He asked. You looked up at him and nodded.

"We can make rice porridge. I have stock in the freezer, just use whatever you want in the fridge. If you need help, let me know." You told him. Mingi hummed and patted your head before going to the kitchen to start cooking. You tried to finish up your work quickly so you could return to Mingi's side.

It warmed your heart, working but hearing Mingi move around the kitchen at the same time. Somehow, it made you feel less lonely knowing that he's there.

"Omma." Mingi called his mother.

"Oh, son. Why are you calling?"

"I'm trying to make rice porridge. How much rice should I put in? Or the ratio of rice to stock to put in." MIngi asked, pressing the phone to his ear.

"You don't need much rice actually. I usually put in half a cup to half a pot of stock. When I cook for you, I add a lot of vegetables and beef."

"I see... I cook the beef first right?"

"That's correct. You can lightly cook it with sesame oil and a little bit of garlic. Then throw the vegetables in. Once they've soften a bit, put the rice in and stir it around. Only after that then you put the stock and leave it to boil."

"Okay. I get it. Thanks, omma." Mingi took out some vegetables and scooped the rice out into a bowl to wash.

"You're welcome. Are you cooking for your girlfriend? When are you going to bring her to meet me? You should bring her over for dinner. I want to meet the girl that stole my son's heart."

"Omma... Don't say it like that... Anyway, she asked when you are free for us to go over so she can introduce herself to you." Mingi informed.

"I'm free any time! Just tell me in advance so I can go to the market and prepare enough food."

"Don't go overboard. The main thing is for you two to meet." He sighed.

"Don't tell me what to do. Let me handle it."

Mingi didn't even get to protest before his mother hung up on him. He huffed but continued his task of cooking dinner. The first thing he did was cut the vegetables so he could start cooking them. As he stood at the stove to cook, he felt you wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his back.

"Are you done with work?" Mingi asked. You hummed, peeking around his tall body to see his cooking.

"Food's almost ready." He said, closing the lid on the pot. While letting the porridge boil for a bit, you and Mingi cuddled on the couch in silence.

"My omma is excited for us to go over. She's already thinking of what to cook." He looked down at you tucked under his arm.

"I hope she doesn't cook too much or she'll end up being tired. I can't wait to meet her." You smiled.

Mingi smiled too, he couldn't wait for you to meet his mom. The two most important women in his life meeting, it's like his worlds colliding. And he knows he mom would shower you in as much love as she did with him.

~

Series Masterlist

[canirove]

Broken Hearts Football Club | Bonus chapter 1

Author’s note: Suprise!! Look whose muse paid her a visit! 😅 I wasn't planning on writing more of Ben and June's story, but a couple of weeks ago I got inspired (probably because I miss seeing Ben more often and we've been talking a lot about him), and here we are. So far there only are two bonus chapters and there may be a third one in the future, but I can't promise anything since I still don't know how I want to approach the topic it will be about if I end up writing it. Also, these chapters don't continue the story where it ended, they happen some time after what you last read (this first one is like a year after or so). I just I hope I've managed to keep the vibes of their relationship and their dinamics. Sometimes that can be a bit tricky 😅 Anyway, hope you like it, and as always, thank you very much for reading! 💜

First chapter | Last chapter | Bonus chapter 2

Masterlist

“I swear to God, Chilwell. If I trip or hit something and end up injured…”

“You'll fucking murder me, I know.”

“Don't make fun of me” June said, moving her arms in the air, trying to hit him. 

“Just keep walking and stop complaining.”

“I'm playing against United tomorrow. If we win…”

“You'll be a step closer to winning the league, I know. I'm commenting the game, remember?” Ben chuckled. “Wait there.”

“What?”

“Just wait there, June” he said, moving around her and taking her hands. “Now, keep walking.”

“Are you going to tell me why we are in the garden and I have to wear an eye mask or...”

“You are so impatient, Maxwell.”

“Well, you promised me food and cuddles, and I am getting nothing!” she protested.

“Just a few more steps… Here. Stop.”

“Can I get rid of this now?”

“You can.”

“Finally” June sighed while taking off the mask, her eyes taking a minute to adjust to the light. “Now what?”

“Look at what you have in front of you” Ben said.

“That's… What is that?” she asked with a confused look.

“A raised bed garden” Ben smiled.

“A what?”

“It's like a little patch of land where you can grow your own vegetables or whatever you fancy.”

“And why did I need to have my eyes covered to see this?” 

“Because of that” he said, nodding towards the little envelope hanging from one of those tags people use to know where they've planted what. “It's for you, take it.”

“Ok” June said, doing as Ben had asked her. Inside it, there was a key with a J keychain. “I… I don't understand.”

“June” Ben said, grabbing her by the waist and making her look at him. “That's a key to my house. I know you already have one, but this one is different. Because I… Because I want it to be our house.”

“You… what?”

“I want you to move in with me, June. You've basically been living here since we started dating, so why not do it permanently?”

“Ben, I…”

“That's why I set up this” he continued, nodding towards the garden bed. “Because I want you to grow your own vegetables and herbs for all your recipes just like I grow my flowers. To have something you can take care of and help you disconnect from football and everything going on out there. I've actually already imagined us both here during a sunny day like today, taking care of the garden together” he said with a shy smile. “And think about Pepper. Here he could have his own room with all his toys, his bed, one of those big scratching towers… And we could even give him a little brother or sister.”

“A feline one, you mean.”

“Yes, yes, of course. It's too soon for the human one.”

“Oh, so you've already thought about that too.”

“I've been thinking about our life together since the moment I realized I had fallen in love with you and that there was no going back, June. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, grow older with you. I want it all with you, June Maxwell.”

“Ben, I… I…”

It made sense. All he had said made sense. She had started to spend more and more time at his house than hers, and not only because John was seeing someone and she didn't want to walk into them doing… things. Ben's house was closer to the training grounds and to where Lauren and Vittoria lived, and during the season it made things easier for her. The neighbourhood was quieter, people not caring about who she was since they were used to seeing famous people and especially football players all the time. She could also go for walks or a run and not have to care about the traffic, and there were shops, cute coffee spots, parks, and everything she may need. 

And she also was in love with Ben's house. She had been since the first day she had set foot in it. It was the style she liked, and even though the inside still needed some work, it was a place where she could see herself living for a long time, getting older, raising her own family. Like Ben had said, there was enough space for Pepper to enjoy himself, but also for… children. Children with blue kind of grey eyes and brunette curls. Children playing football in the garden, hitting Ben's precious flowers and making him scold them but a minute later cover them on kisses, all while June watched them from the kitchen, cooking them their favourite meal with Pepper at her feet asking her for something to eat.

It was all there, and imagining it, thinking about it, wasn't making her freak out like it could have happened in the past. 

That was the house where she had fallen in love with the man who had changed her life, the one who had mended her broken heart. And whatever the future held for her, for them… she wanted it all with him.

“June” Ben said, caressing her cheek and bringing her back to reality. “June, are you…”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes. I want to move in with you, Ben. I want to use this thing to grow my own tomatoes while you do the same with your flowers, and I want to see Pepper run like crazy around the house trying to catch flies, and I want to argue about who has to take out the rubbish or empty the dishwasher…”

“We already do that” he chuckled.

“Don't interrupt me, Chilwell.”

“Ok” he said, trying really hard to not smile.

“And I want to throw parties with our friends, host dinners for our families, and then maybe get another cat that will destroy our sofa and pee the carpet, and if it's possible… Maybe one day find ourselves renovating a room for a litte one with brunette curls who will drive us crazy and definitely break at least a couple of windows while learning how to play football. And I want to sit on those sofas and watch the sunset every day while resting my head on your chest, cuddling and hearing your heart beating healthy and strong, and I… I want it all. Because I love you, Ben.”

“Can you say that again?”

“All of it?”

“Just the last three words. Well, four if you count my name” he smiled, pulling her closer towards him.

“I love you, Ben” June repeated, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

“Say it again, please.”

“Chilwell…”

“Please?” he pouted. 

“Fine” she sighed. “I love you. And I want to move in with you. Because I love you.”

“Because you love me.”

“I do, yes. Very much.”

“I love you too, June.”

“I know” she smiled. “Are you gonna kiss me now or do I have to do everything first?”

“You? Seriously?” he laughed. “Who kissed the other first? And opened up first? And say I love you first? Or ask the other to be boyfriend and girlfriend? Or…”

“Shut up, Chilwell.”

“Make me” he smirked.

“Gladly” June said before kissing him. “Do you want to go practice how to make one of those brunette babies?” she whispered against his lips when they managed to break apart.

“Weren't you hungry?”

“We can do that later, we'll need to recharge” she said, making them both laugh. “Besides, we have all the time in the world to cook together in that kitchen.” 

“Our kitchen” he smiled.

“Our kitchen” she smiled back. 

“I love you, June Maxwell.”

“I love you too, Ben Chilwell” she replied, giggling like an idiot as he threw her over his shoulder and walked her inside the house. 

Their house.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Thank you very much for everything, Fred. We could have not done this without you” Ben said.

“You’re welcome. And thank you very much for the photos and the autographs, June. My girls are gonna love them.”

“Of course” she smiled. “And thank you.”

“Just doing our job. Goodbye, lovebirds.”

“Bye” Ben and June said at the same time.

“So…” he said while they watched the moving guys drive away. 

“So” June repeated. 

“Ready to start the new chapter of your life, Maxwell?”

“Ready” she replied, taking a deep breath. “Wait, no.”

“No?” he asked with a confused look.

“We can’t just walk in as if this was something normal.”

“What?”

“We are moving in together for the first time, Ben. This is important.”

“I know.”

“Then we can’t just walk in as we always do. It must be special.”

“Ok… What do you suggest?”

“I want you to carry me inside like newlyweds do in movies.”

“You what?” Ben laughed.

“You know what I am talking about, don't you?” she asked him.

“Of course I do, Maxwell.”

“Then c´mon. I’ve always wanted to do it” June said, extending her arms towards him.

“Really? Has it been like a childhood dream or something?” he teased her.

“It actually has, yes. So come here, Chilwell. Pepper is inside already, and I’m pretty sure he is freaking out in his carrier, asking himself where the hell he is.”

“Fine” Ben sighed, trying to hide his smile. “Let’s go” he said before lifting her in his arms. “Is this what you wanted?”

“Yep” she smiled, kissing his cheek. “Thank you very much, Chilwell.”

“Anything for you, Maxwell” he smiled back.

“And I love you, by the way.”

“I love you too, June” he said before walking into his house.

Their house.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Not again, bro!”

“Everything alright, Chilwell?” June said from the living room.

“Of course not!” Ben replied, joining her. “That bloody cat did it again!”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Him!” he said while pointing at Pepper, who was sitting on the sofa next to June, too busy cleaning his paws. “He did it again!”

“Do what?”

“Pee on my trainers, June!”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“Pepper, did you pee on Chilwell's trainers again?” she asked him while petting his head.

“He isn't going to reply, Maxwell. He is a cat” he said, rolling his eyes. “And he did. Smell this.”

“Eww, Ben. Get that away from my face!” she said when he moved his trainer closer to her face. “And it isn't Pepper’s fault.”

“Isn't it?” he laughed.

“He still is adjusting to the new house and is a bit stressed. He needs time.”

“June, it's been three months.”

“And?” she shrugged.

“Urgh” Ben groaned. 

“But you know, maybe he would pee somewhere else if you kept your trainers in just one place and not all over the house.”

“What?”

“This morning I tripped with one and almost fell on my face, and I have a photoshoot tomorrow. What if I had broken my nose or something?”

“Oh, so now it is my fault that your cat isn't properly trained?” he said, raising his voice.

“He is properly trained!” she said, also raising her voice. “But maybe you are the one who isn't, Chilwell.”

“Oh, fuck off, Maxwell!” Ben said, leaving the room.

“Yes, go away! But be careful, you may trip with one of your trainers!” she replied, hearing him close a door somewhere in the house with a loud bang.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“June, is everything alright?” Lauren asked her.

“Yeah” she said while taking off her boots.

“Is it? Because you sucked at training today. Big time.”

“Did I?”

“C'mon, June. You know it better than anyone. What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“June…”

“Ok, fine” she sighed. “Ben and I had an argument.”

“Again?”

“Yes, Lauren. Again.”

“What happened now?”

“Pepper peed on his trainers. When we moved in he started doing it in different corners of the house and the vet told us that it was normal after such a big change. But lately he's started to do it on Ben's shoes.”

“Could he be marking his territory?”

“I don't know, Lauren” June sighed again. “They've always gotten along, you know? Like, Ben was with me the day I took Pepper home, he helped me with everything. But now… I don't know.” 

“Maybe you should go to the vet again.”

“Maybe… But all this mess with Pepper isn't the only thing going on. Since I moved in, we've been constantly arguing because of the most stupid things. Things that we were ok with or that didn't bother us when I was just staying in the house and nothing was official. And I just… I…”

“You what?” Lauren said, taking her hand on hers and giving it an encouraging squeeze.

“What if we weren't ready to take this step just yet? What if it was a mistake? What if we are…”

“June, don't.”

“Don't what?”

“Don't you dare going there” Lauren said, threatening her with her finger.

“Go where?”

“To start thinking you and Ben being together is a mistake or whatever crazy thought was crossing your mind right now. You didn't go through everything you went through to end things just because your cat has a weak bladder.”

“What?” she laughed. 

“June, you love Ben and he loves you, and you are meant to be. But living together isn't easy, and things won't always be rainbows and glitter.”

“I know. But Lauren, we've been living together for three months, and all we've done is argue.”

“I'm pretty sure you've done more than just argue” she smirked, making June roll her eyes. “But you also chose to move in together before the most stressful months for both your jobs. Feeling like this is normal.”

“Is it?”

“It is, trust me. You should see the arguments we have at home. And when I meet on the weekends with my parents, and Reece also is there… You don't want to witness that.”

“You can be quite scary when you are mad” she chuckled.

“I know” Lauren smiled. “So stop overthinking so much, and talk with Ben about all this. He may be feeling the same too.”

“Yeah, I guess. Thank you, Lauren.”

“You're very welcome, June. Now go shower, you stink.”

“Me?” she gasped.

“Actually, you both stink” one of their teammates said, June and Lauren both throwing their dirty shirts at her before they all started laughing.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Ben?” June said, meeting him in the garden once she got home after training, Pepper running inside the house as if his life depended on it. “Ben, what happened?”

“That bloody cat of yours, that's what happened!”

“Pepper?”

“Do you have more cats?” he spatted.

“There is no need to use that tone, Chilwell” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “What did he do now?”

“He ruined my flowers, that's what he did. Just yesterday I planted some new seeds here, and look” he said, pointing at the soil at his feet. “He dug them all out to do his business.”

“Are you sure it was him? I haven't been in the garden for the past few days, and I don't allow him to be outside if I'm not with him in case he tries to run away.”

“He did it today while I was watering the other flowers.”

“Then it is your fault, Chilwell. Not his.”

“What?” he laughed.

“You let him outside and didn't keep an eye on him” she shrugged.

“I can't fucking believe it, June. Why do you keep defending him?”

“Because he's done nothing wrong?”

“He's not… Whatever.”

“Ben, where are you going?” she said as he walked past her, completely ignoring her.

“To Mason's.”

“I thought we were going to cook dinner together.”

“Not today” he said before taking his car keys and leaving the house, those being the last words he said to June for the rest of the day. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Pepper? Pepper, where are you?” June called. “Pepper?”

“Can't find that devil of yours?” Ben said while going through his notes for the next game.

“I can't, no. Have you seen him?”

“He was chilling on the sofa when I sat down.”

“Well, he isn't there anymore.” 

“Have you checked where I keep my shoes? He may have needed a wee wee.”

“Not funny, Chilwell” she said. “But I already checked upstairs and he wasn't there.”

“Did you check all the wardrobes and under the beds? He likes hiding there.”

“I checked every corner, Ben.”

“That's weird” he said, putting down his pen and finally looking at her. “Let me help you.”

“You want to help me find that bloody cat like you like calling him?” she asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yes, I do. What rooms have you checked down here?”

“Most of them. Ben, if we can't find him…”

“June. June, hey” he said, suddenly showing up next to her and taking her hands on his. “We are going to find Pepper. He probably is sleeping inside a cupboard and that's why you can't find him.”

“Yes” she nodded, trying to not start crying.

“C'mon, let's go room by room together.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“He isn't anywhere, Ben” June said, now properly crying. “If something has happened to him…” 

“He is ok, you'll see.”

“You can't know that!”

“June, we are gonna find him. I promise you” he said while hugging her. 

“But we've checked everywhere! Everywhere! Upstairs, down here, in the garage, the gym… He is gone, Ben.”

“There is one place we haven't checked yet, tho.”

“What?” she said, lifting her head from his shoulder and looking at him.

“The garden” Ben said, biting his lower lip. “I went outside earlier, and I think…”

“You think what, Chilwell?”

“I think I didn't close the door.”

“You… Benjamin!” June said, slapping his face and taking a step back, leaving his embracement. “What if he's gone outside? What if he jumped the fence and went on the road and a car hit him? What if he's… if he's…”

“He's gonna be fine, June” he said, his face burning where she had slapped him.

“You can't know that, Chilwell! If something has happened to him, I… I… He's like family, Ben” she cried. “I know he is just a cat, but he is like family to me. And if something has happened to him…”

“Nothing has happened to him, June” he said, closing the space between them again and wiping her tears. “He's a clever boy. Sometimes too clever” he chuckled.

“But he's never been outside, Ben. He's grown up inside a flat, he doesn't know what a car is. Or dogs! What if a dog attacked him and…”

“He is ok, June. He… Are you waiting for someone?” he said when someone rang the bell.

“No” she replied.

“Wait here, I'm gonna check who it is.”

“Ok” she nodded, sitting down on the sofa and trying to control the tears that were threatening to come back. “Who was it?” she asked when she heard Ben coming back.

“June…”

“I hope that if it was someone coming to pay us a visit, you told them to go away. I'm not in the mood to see anyone.”

“Not even him?” Ben asked her.

“What… Pepper!” she screamed before running towards where Ben was standing, the cat in his arms. “Oh, Pepper!” she cried.

“Told you he was ok.”

“Is he?” she said, checking him while he just purred.

“He is. He apparently jumped the fence and was chilling with the neighbours’s dog.”

“What?” June said, her eyes wide.

“The neighbour said that she found them sleeping together on her dog's bed, but that earlier one of her kids also saw them eating and playing together.” 

“They… Is that true, Pepper?” she asked the cat.

“Meow” he replied as if understanding what she had just said.

“I can't believe it” she chuckled, giving him a hug before he complained and ran away. “Now he'll go take a nap as if he hadn't scared the hell out of me.”

“And it was all my fault” Ben sighed.

“What?”

“I'm sorry, June. I'm sorry about not closing the door today and about the way I've been behaving lately and especially with Pepper. That slap you gave me… I totally deserved it.”

“I… Umm… It's ok.”

“It isn't, June. Like, we just moved in together. We should be happy and on cloud nine, not constantly arguing about the most stupid things. And it is all my fault.”

“Arguing about stupid things is part of the experience, tho.”

“Not like this, June. Not like this.” 

“Ben…”

“There is something I have to tell you. Something I've been thinking for a while and that I think is what has had me so on edge lately, making you pay for it.”

“What… you…” There it was. He was going to break up with her. He had realized that things weren't working out between them anymore, and he was going to end things with her, breaking her heart in so many pieces that she was sure she was never going to recover from it and…

“I'm quitting my job” Ben said.

“I beg your pardon?” June replied, raising her voice.

“I’m quitting my job” he repeated.

“But… why? I thought you loved being a pundit!”

“And I do, but… I feel a bit burnt out. And before you say anything, no, it isn't because of my heart. That one keeps being healthier than it has ever been, all thanks to you” he smiled. “It's just that… I don't know. I need a break.”

“A break?”

“Yes, a break. There are gonna be changes at work and… well. Let's just say that I don't agree with some of the decisions they are going to make.”

“Are they going to fire people?”

“Among other things, yes. But besides that, lately we both have been so tired, especially after a game day, that we can't even enjoy having dinner together without one of us constantly yawning, and I feel like we only spend actual time together to have sex. Not complaining about it tho, don't get me wrong. It keeps being amazing” he smirked. “But I want to go back to doing all the things that made us fall in love with each other. The things that make us happy. Like cooking together when you are back from training, me picking you up after a game and having a kinder egg ready to cheer you up or congratulate you if you've scored, going out for a walk and getting breakfast at our favourite spot… I miss all that, June. I miss us.”

“I miss it too” she said.

“So that's why I'm quitting. Because I love you and I want our relationship to work. Because I want the same things you told me about when you said yes to moving in together. From growing tomatoes, to watching the sunset in the garden, to starting our own family one day. I want it all with you, June Maxwell” he said, caressing her cheek.

“And I with you, Chilwell” she replied. “But I can't let you give up on your career because of me. I can't.”

“I'm not giving up on anything. I actually have a plan b” Ben smiled.

“You do?”

“Yep. I'm gonna get certified to be a manager.”

“Wait, what?”

“It was something that had never crossed my mind, but now… I don't know. After commenting football for so many years, I think I could be a good manager. Maybe not to be on a Premier League team, but with kids…” he shrugged.

“Gaffer Chilwell, uh? It doesn't sound that bad” she smiled.

“It doesn't, does it?” he smiled back.

“But Ben… Are you sure about this? Are you sure this is what you want?”

“100% sure, June. It's time for a new chapter. One where I'm gonna keep loving you and supporting you every single day.”

“And one where I will do the same with you, Chilwell. Loving you and supporting you every single day and on every step you take. Because I love you, Ben.” 

“Say it again, please. I think I haven't heard you properly” he smirked, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer.

“I love you more than anything, Benjamin James Chilwell” she said, putting her arms around his neck. 

“Even more than kinder eggs?” he asked with a teasing smile.

“A lot more.”

“Wow” he chuckled. “That is a lot.”

“Yep” June smiled. “And it will be forever.”

“Forever?” Ben asked, brushing his nose against hers.

“Forever” she repeated before kissing him. 

[justabeatingheart]

THE GREAT IMPERSONATOR ( sentence starters from the fifth studio album by halsey )

ONLY GIRL LIVING IN LA

"I wake up every day in some new kind of suffering."

"I've never known a day of peace."

"I don't know if I could sell out my own funeral."

"I don't know what I did to have this fate."

"I can't even run from what I know."

"I'm not lucky and I know I wasn't chosen."

"This thing I love has grown demanding and obsessive."

EGO

"I can't keep my feet on the ground."

"I'm nervous what you'll think of me now."

"I'm really not as happy as I seem."

"You're too nice to run this town."

"I don't like the lie I'm living."

"I'm way too nice and too forgiving."

"I wanna go back to the beginning when it all felt right."

"It's all done now, who am I kidding?"

"I'm doing way worse than I'm admitting."

"I'm really not that happy being me."

DOG YEARS

"A mercy kill is what I seek."

"I didn't ask to live, but dying's up to me."

"I'm not strong, I'm very weak."

LETTER TO GOD (1974)

"I don't wanna hurt so get it over with quick."

"Please, God, I wanna be loved."

"I don't wanna be somebody that they wanna get rid of."

PANIC ATTACK

"Both my shoulders have been burdened by the weight of my mistakes."

"Every time you lean in closer, both my knees can't help but shake."

"I think you're a danger to my health, or so it seems."

"Is it love or a panic attack?"

"Is a heavy heart too much to hold?"

"You make me fucking nervous."

"I don't know what it all means."

"My optimism's getting sore."

"I would love to love you, but my body's keeping score."

"I don't know if I can see you anymore."

THE END

"I don't like to complain, but I'm saying sorry."

"When I met you, I thought I was damaged goods."

"There's poison in my brain and in my blood."

"If you knew it was the end of the world, would you like to stay a while?"

"When I met you, I said I would never die."

"I'm racing against time."

I BELIEVE IN MAGIC

"The apple's rolling real far from the tree."

"I still believe in Heaven, if they'll never let me in."

"I think I might start tryin' because I haven't been."

LETTER TO GOD (1983)

"I never would have said it if I knew I'd have to wait until the moment I was happy, then it all disintegrates."

"I don't wanna be somebody you're tryna get rid of."

HOMETOWN

"There ain't a reason on this earth I'd go back to my hometown."

"You know, I never felt like anyone."

"I didn't think that I was special, but I was too afraid to die."

"The American dream means stayin' young forever."

I NEVER LOVED YOU

"You can rest your head down and not feel any shame."

"I never loved you."

"I never loved you in vain."

"You left me standing in the parking lot."

"You never listen and I'm terrible too."

"If you stopped, I would've kissed you."

"I almost thought I heard you call my name."

DARWINISM

"They say that God makes no mistakes, but I might disagree."

"If everyone has someone, then the math just isn't right."

"I'm the only outlier, the lonely archetype."

"If everything is by design, well, I might disagree."

"You all know something that I don't."

"What if I'm just cosmic dust?"

"Well, I was born all by myself, it's not unlikely that I'll die that way as well."

LONELY IS THE MUSE

"I spent years becoming cool."

"In one single second, you can make a decade of my efforts disappear."

"Didn't know you were here."

"I was built from special pieces that I learned how to unscrew."

"I can always reassemble to fit perfectly for you."

"When you're done, you can discard me, like the others always do."

ARSONIST

"Your human starter kit came incomplete."

"My apologies, you loved me."

"Fool me twice, the shame is on me."

"Am I a victim in your game?"

"The punishment and crime are not the same."

"Somebody will love me for the way that I'm designed."

"Alchemy's not love, it's playing God."

"Have you ever given the world to somebody as a gift and had it returned?"

LIFE OF THE SPIDER (DRAFT)

"How could I even think of daring to exist?"

"I'm nothing but skin and bone these days."

"I should be getting better but I'm only getting worse."

HURT FEELINGS

"Maybe this is just another trick that hasn't happened yet."

"Blood is thick but water is forever."

"I thought that it was my fault and now sometimes I still do."

"I can't bear to fake a smile when you walk into the room."

LUCKY

"When I die, I won't have time to spend my money."

"I hope that you still love me."

"What do you do with a difficult grown up?"

"I told everybody I was fine for a whole damn year."

LETTER TO GOD (1998)

"I miss the days when I was getting texts I could just avoid."

"I've been tryin' to be calm and not pre-emptively destroy."

"Every time I'm in the real world, I just end up paranoid."

"I'm basking in these moments where I feel a shred of joy."

"I finally found somebody I don't wanna get rid of."

"This doesn't seem fair."

"I'm trying not to show it, but I'm terribly scared."

THE GREAT IMPERSONATOR

"Does a story die with its narrator?"

"This is a cry for help, callin' for assistance."

ALICE OF THE UPPER CLASS

"I think I'm gonna miss my train."

"The street signs all look the same."

"Can't you see that I'm an imposter?"

"Where's the fun in doing well?"

"You're headed to hell in the fast lane."

"I don't belong here, how 'bout you?"

[goldenavenger02]

Prompt: the rest of the ninja finding out about Cole and Geo's relationship. Fluff.

It is a LITTLE angsty. Just a little. I hope you enjoy

When Cole arrived in the courtyard with no warning, Kai wasn’t sure he had ever run faster.

Well, he was sure that he had run faster in stressful situations, but he hadn’t hugged Cole in so long; he was just glad that it felt the same, it felt warm and strong and safe. 

He didn’t want to let go, it had been years since he had seen him but he also knew that the same was true of Lloyd and Zane so he found himself letting go just a few moments later to let everyone else get their fill of hugs in.

Even Wyldfyre, who acted like a feral being towards everyone new and old, was even interested in Cole’s arrival to the point of asking multiple questions about the place Nya had said that she found him, The Land of Lost Things.

Kai didn’t miss the solemn, almost sad look on his face as he spoke about where he had ended up after The Merge. A look he hadn’t seen in years, not since Shintaro.

But the look faded when the subject was changed to Lloyd explaining how the Mergequakes were stopped and everything returned to the happy, bubbly energy that had filled the monastery since Kai had returned.

And as Cole came into his room hours later and laid on the mostly clean floor, Kai was baffled by how everything felt so close to normal, to how it had been after they had defeated the Crystal King.

All that was missing was Jay lounging in the bean bag chair in the corner and playing some sort of Sonic game, only responding to every third sentence and being thoroughly confused when they laughed at his lack of context.

“Has Lloyd started acting as stuffy as Master Wu yet?”

“Nah. He tried to keep the whole monastery in order and broke a bunch of plates in the process.”

“Anger issues?”

“Nah, they fell out of the sink,” Cole’s laugh was infectious and filled Kai’s chest to the point where it hurt long after it faded into giggles that punctured his next sentence, “he’s doing his best, but he’s still Lloyd.”

“That’s good, I think,” Cole mused before sitting up and looking directly into Kai’s eyes, “do you still make edibles and hide them under your bed?”

“Even if I did,” Kai started, smiling as the famous incident of everyone taking his brownies that were just meant for when the long nights got too long and resulting in him simultaneously getting banned from the kitchen unless there was his mother’s or one of Zane’s cookbooks involved came to mind, “there’s that dragon, Riyu. He’ll eat them and either be high off of his ass or vomit on my bed.”

“He’s eaten your edibles before?”

“He’s eaten so many things that he shouldn’t and for some reason, my bed has to be where he gets rid of it,” Kai corrected before laying back down, “do you still have that bottle of fireball in your room?”

“That shit has to be rancid by now, it was opened before the Merge,” Cole shook his head, also laying back down and staring at the ceiling, “I suppose I could always go and get more tomorrow though.”

“We’re a bit old to hide edibles and alcohol in our rooms, I think. Lloyd’s even old enough to drink now.”

“Remind me to take the kid to a bar and make sure he’s not taking straight shots of vodka.”

“Noted.” Kai agreed, even if the idea of Lloyd drinking forced him to slip into the protective role he was so used to when it came to the green ninja.

“Besides, even if Lloyd’s old enough to drink, Sora, Arin and the feral one, they’re still kids. Not to mention the dragon who pukes in your bed.”

“Her name is Wyldfyre, and that was actually way different for her, since she’s usually trying to light things on fire or prove she’s the best. She was raised by a dragon, manners aren’t exactly her thing.”

“She sounds a lot like you.”

“I wasn’t raised by a dragon.”

“No, you were raised by yourself, which might be worse.”

Kai threw a pillow at Cole’s face; the pillow he threw back knocked him onto the floor tailbone first.

“Ouch.”

“You good?”

“Yep, just a sore ass,” Kai confirmed as he maneuvered onto his back and laid next to Cole, the sounds of their breathing filling the silence, “Nya told us when she got back, about the Finders.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, the Formling and the Hypnobri kids, and the Munce and the Skulkin who are our age,” Kai could have sworn that he saw a blush spread across Cole’s face at the mention of the Munce, “do you wanna tell me about them?”

“Fritz, the Formling, reminds me a lot of Lloyd when he was a kid. Adventurous, kind and pokes his nose where it doesn’t belong. Spitz is much more reserved and shy, but loves playing with Fritz and gets himself into trouble a lot because of it. Bonzal…well, I’ve known her for years, but she isn’t very forthcoming. She’s got a great sense of humor though, crochets a lot of blankets and also collects bones.”

“Why?”

“Whenever you ask, she just says they’re extremely useful; but, she wouldn’t hurt a fly so I’m not worried about it.”

“Okay,” Kai nodded while trying to get back on topic, but when he asked “what about the Munce?” he was able to guess why Cole’s cheeks flushed at the mention even before he started speaking.

“Geo. He’s the elemental master of fusion, he turns lost things into these large art sculptures. He’s good with the boys, he makes sure that they’re always taken care of, no matter what. He’s the only one who can get Bonzal to say more than a few sentences. He’s so caring, and funny and…he might be one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”

“He sounds great,” Kai agreed with a nod before asking, “so, why didn’t you bring them with you? Because the monastery is big-”

“It wasn’t a space issue. First Master, I wish it was a space issue,” Cole’s voice filling with tears made Kai’s heart pang with regret, “whenever they tried to leave, this fog would engulf them and lead them back. They had been forgotten for so long that they couldn’t leave. I only left because I thought I heard Master Wu…but it just led me here.”

Kai reached over and pulled Cole into a hug; he had needed the hug when he finally returned, but given how he tucked his head against his shoulder, he knew that it was Cole who needed a hug now.

They stayed like that until Cole finally spoke again, the sobs evident in his voice as he kept his face pressed against Kai’s shoulder.

“I…I miss them so much.”

“Hey,” Kai finally spoke and cupped a hand around Cole’s face to brush a few tears off of his cheeks, “we found Nya, we found Zane and we found you. We’ll get the others out of there and we’ll find Jay, PIXAL and Master Wu.”

“I know,” Cole agreed, taking in a shuddering breath while wiping his face on his sleeve, “it’s just really gonna suck until we do.”

[codfanficedits]

Christmas - Part 3/4

Pairing: John Price x Reader

Summary: John during Christmas :)

Wordcount: 2307 | Rating: E! (18+ only!)

Warnings: A little bit hinting to NSFW, I think? A lot of fluff :)

A/N: I need me a man like this :(

You don’t really know how it had happened, but it just happened. Instead of two eggs, you used four, you know, so then the carton would be empty, John would be bringing home new eggs anyway. And all you had to do was add double flour, extra butter, and a whole lot of chocolate chips, and somehow you ended up with sixty-six cookies. Well, sixty-five, since you had to taste one. You triple check the recipe you used, and sure, after you’ve read the author’s life story, it says clearly that is a recipe for just fifteen cookies, and you’re still not sure how you ended up with sixty-five after doubling your ingredients.

You look at your countertops, it’s filled with baking sheets full of cookies. Which wouldn’t be such a hassle, if the cookies would be the only thing you had baked. On your right are countertops filled with chocolate cupcakes, topped off with a buttercream of vanilla and some chopped up walnuts, and to your left there were blueberry muffins with a cream cheese drizzle. Your eyes shift to the clock, knowing that John will be home soon, and you let out a sigh. Who would let a stressed out person who likes to bake loose in a kitchen anyway?

Your hand reaches for your phone and you look up the number for the homeless shelter not too far away. You and John had donated to them a few times before, and what would be a better use for all these sweets that you had baked?

The lady who answers the phone is a little weary at first, and you can’t blame her, how many people treat the homeless shelter as their personal dumpster, dropping off spoiled food, dropping off food laced with who knows what. She asks you to identify yourself when you drop the goods, and you have to sign a weaver. It all sounds fair to you. Just as you end the call, you can hear the front door slam close.

John

With a loud groan he enters the kitchen, his eyes lighting up when he sees all those bakes goods. Was that the reason your shopping list was so long?

"Sweet baby Jezus." He complains, setting the heavy bags down on the counter. “Is this just for me?” He teases as he reaches out to the cookies. “Hey!” He protests when you swat his hand away. His joyful attitude wiped away the peace and quiet you had yourself surrounded in.

Your eyes flickered between the cookies, and the cupcakes you had been baking. "Maybe I did go a little overboard." You giggled. "A little?" he chuckles as he catches sight of the mountain of baked goods. All of that looks like it had to have taken you ages to make! He has to wonder who could eat that many sweets. Maybe he could help you get rid of them.

His arms snake around your waist and he presses a kiss on your forehead. “What’s on your mind, love?” Your shoulders slump at his question. “Just a little stress.” You mumble at his question. John doesn’t buy it. ��You’ve been baking enough to feed a whole army, something is bothering you.”

“Just a little nervous to see my mom again.” You mutter eventually, there would be no use in hiding this from him anyway. John chuckled softly at your words. “Is she nagging about grandkids again?”

“Mhm, while calling me fat in the same conversation.”

He kisses your forehead again, his lips lingering against your skin. “We’re not going.” You want to look up at him, but he keeps your face in place with his kiss. “What?” “I refuse to let you ruin your own Christmas because your mother can’t shut up. We’ve told her countless times that our decision on children is not up to her to intervene with.”

“Yeah but what if…” Your voice trails off, you know your mother wouldn’t take lightly to this news.

“I can talk to her.” John muses, as he looks at you. “You are the love of my life, I’ll be damned if I let your mother make you miserable, just because she refuses to go to therapy.”

You gave him a quick peck on his lips. "Thank you lovie." The idea of not seeing your mother for Christmas gave you some room to breathe, maybe a year without judgement would do you good.

His hands go to your waist again, squeezing you softly as he pulls you in closer. "You're welcome, love," he whispers softly. "You look really beautiful. More so than usual."

Your arms go around his neck, and you kiss him softly, a smile on his face when he looks at the baked goods again.

"I want to drop a few off at the homeless shelter." You whisper against his lips. "Want to help me?" You ask him.  "I'll let you eat a cupcake first."

"If I do help, am I allowed to sample one of your cupcakes beforehand?" he asks, a playful, mischievous glint in his eyes. While he jokes, he knows those cupcakes of you are to die for. Even having one before helping you deliver the rest would be enough to make this a grand day.

"Please? Just one?"

"How can I say no to you?" You chuckled softly. "I have chocolate ones, with a buttercream of vanilla and walnuts. Or blueberry with a cream cheese drizzle." You mentioned.

"Which one would you like, love?" You asked him, turning around to the cupcakes. He is completely torn over which one to choose, and the more he debates it, the harder it is for him to pick. "Do I pick the chocolate? Or the blueberry? Hmmmmmm..."

He glances back at you, unable to hide the adoration in his eyes. "You know what? I like surprises. Surprise me." And to really make you work for it, he kisses you again, stealing one last taste before it's time to choose.

Your eyes light up and you grin. "Close your eyes!" You order him. He closes his eyes as you say, eager to see if he can guess which is which without seeing.

You take a chocolate cupcake, the blueberry cupcake and your cinnamon sugar cookie.

You smile as he closes his eyes, and you can't help but kiss him. You place a small piece of the blueberry cupcake in his mouth. "Guess which one this is."

Once it's in his mouth, it's clear that it is most definitely the blueberry cupcake. There's no mistaking that flavour of blueberry and cream cheese.

"Blueberry," he answers confidently. And he opens his eyes to see you grinning triumphantly.

"Correct." You chuckled, before you placed a piece of her cinnamon sugar cookie between his lips. "Guess again!" You giggled before you pressed a kiss on his jawline. "If you guess all three right." You whispered in his ear. "I'll go on top tonight."

"Cinnamon sugar? It has to be that delicious cookie. But if I'm wrong, then I'll never hear the end of it." And he takes a bite, revelling at the sweetness of the dough. "This is absolutely incredible," he smiles.

At what you mention next, his eyes snap wide open. Not even a millisecond of hesitation passes by before an excited "YES!" crosses his lips. "Okay, the next one has to be chocolate. There's no way that's anything but chocolate."

You laugh at his enthusiasm. "There is only one flavour left and that is chocolate.” You chuckle, as you feed him the piece of chocolate cupcake. “So it seems I’ll put in the work tonight.”

"Let’s drop off these cookies and cupcakes at the homeless shelter. And when we get home, I'll show you why I should be on the nice list." You added with a soft chuckle.

"I can't wait," he whispers, leaning in for another kiss. "But first, I'll be a good boy for you."

"And I really can't emphasize how much I love you for making all of these for that shelter," he chuckles. "They deserve the best Christmas possible. And these, I can assure you, are the best." He gives you an affectionate squeeze, before grabbing your hand to head towards the door together.

"Being with you has made me realize how lucky I truly am." You smiled. "And I hope these cupcakes bring a little bit of hope to other too." You added, as you brought the cupcakes and cookies to the car. You took place in the passenger seat. "Drive carefully please." You pleaded.

"Yeah, lucky is definitely the word to describe it," he teases with a smirk. "I think it'll do more than that," he replies. He knows how big of an impact your delicious baking has had on him, and he has no doubt it will be equally as meaningful to them.

At your concern, he nods. "You know I'm not some speed racer, love," he chuckles, turning the car on and beginning your trip.

You pressed a kiss on his cheek before you puts your seatbelt on. "You're a delight." You chuckled softly. "I am so happy you were granted leave for the holidays, John."

"It has been a while since we celebrated Christmas together, and I'm looking forward to it." You add quietly.

The kiss warms his cheek, the sensation of your lips on him bringing an easy smile to his face. "You know I've missed you desperately, love," he whispers back, his attention turned to the road in front of him. "I've been counting the seconds until I had you back in my arms again. You'll never know how much I look forward to being with you on Christmas."

The smile on his face grows as the two of you ride along together. There's something heartwarming and magical about spending the season with the one you truly love.

Of course you had missed him too, more than he would ever know.

You get excited when you arrive at the shelter, and you get out of car, making sure to get to the person who you talked to on the phone. You bring them the cupcakes and cookies before, showing them your ID and signing the weaver. It doesn’t need to be bombastic, you don’t need the praise, you just want to do a little something for others.

"Let’s get back to home, love." You said, as you got in to the car again, before you pressed a kiss on his lips.

Seeing you get excited is always endearing. The way your eyes light up with joy never fails to captivate him. And your eagerness to help those in need is one of the many qualities he loves about you. He wraps an arm around your waist and gives you a comforting squeeze.

"Yes, yes. Let's go home. I can't wait to snuggle up with you again," he says with a smile. And he begins to drive home—where you both belong, where this Christmas season is meant to be spent.

You had missed him, you knew what you got yourself in to when you married a soldier, but it was hard at times. Having him home for Christmas really was a delight.

"I have a good Christmas present for you this year." You hummed content. "I'm really sure you'll like it." You watch the Christmas decorations when you pass the houses in the neighbourhood, and you adore it.

His curiosity is piqued. "I'll like it, you say?" he asks with a wry smile. "Why do I get the feeling you enjoy watching me squirm in anticipation?"

He doesn't mind the torture. In fact, he loves it. It makes the big reveal that much more special. "I have something for you, too, love," he says in turn. "I put quite a bit of thought into it." He winks as he turns the corner, heading towards the driveway.

Oh you love this, the anticipation, the giddy feeling it gives you. It had taken you a while, but you had managed to order his favourite cigars from Cuba. You had to keep it for yourself for so long now, and it made you feel like you could explode any moment.

"Come on!" You urged him as he parked the car. "I know it’s not Boxing Day yet, but i really want to give you your present."

He chuckles at the thought of your excitement.

"Alright, alright, you've won. We don't need to wait another day." With that, he helps you get out of the car. And now you both stand before the front door.

"Okay, love, you would need to wait a little more, I will have the stage first.” He smiles.

He is gentle as he drags you towards the tree. He had a whole day planned for this, but he can't wait any longer. So John goes down on one knee, holding your hand, a black velvet box in his other hand. "Would you do me the honour to renew our vows?"

The question catches you off guard, almost like a swift punch to the gut. Your mind, in the heat of the moment, flashes back through all the time you’ve spent together—all the beautiful memories you've made.

"John," you says softly, wrapping your arms around you in an embrace. "Of course I will."

With the words spoken, there's nothing he wants more than to feel your warm, loving embrace. You could be married a thousand more times, and it would never get old.

“I love you so much, and the time we have to spend apart only makes me realize it more." John whispered in to your ear. "And every day that's spent away from you is nothing but torture. I'm just glad I get to have you back this Christmas. I look forward to tonight and to the coming year."

[hikennosabo]

musing about vash and knives (trimax vol 8)

a full post on vash and knives's relationship will have to wait until i finish the manga, if i can even muster up the ability to write something that long and detailed, but i wanna write about some scenes in volume 8 separately from my general volume 8 post...

both of them use their respective family-turned-symbol-for-their-own-ideals to try to appeal to the other's emotions.

knives chooses not to answer vash about rem. but vash answers knives about tesla. he gets so emotional that he even breaks out of legato's control briefly.

vash understands knives's pain - he's the only one who can. he understands it better than knives does. and he tries to reach the part of knives that's hurting.

"don't do this - don't make the same mistake again. there will be no coming back from this." all of vash's dialogue in this scene tells me that despite everything knives has done to him (and what he's CURRENTLY doing to him), vash still sees knives's pain and cares. he's still holding onto hope that knives will see reason, that he can change. but of course knives isn't willing to listen.

now i wanna talk about the scene where vash jumps off the ship with wolfwood.

he's talking like a kid. "dont go, vash." he's so desperate, it betrays his loneliness. and then ofc he threatens to kill vash here lmao. because the only thing he knows how to do is threaten and use violence and force to try and get his way. because it's the only thing he's BEEN doing for over a century.

i'm biased because i watched stampede before everything else so it's the lens through which i've been viewing knives, but in stamp there's a lot of emphasis on knives's loneliness without vash, and how much knives loves vash. which is summed up concisely here: "we only have each other." knives has no one else. as i just said, vash is the only one who can understand him. and the tragedy of it is knives's love for vash being so twisted by his trauma and loneliness and fear that it ends up as control and abuse.

and then when vash jumps out of the ship... it's similar to the earlier scene where knives does a swan dive and vash calls out to him.

and then knives tries to catch him, at first with his plant appendages...

and then we see just his hand.

just his hand, because that's knives. the plant appendages disappear, and all we're left with is knives's own hand reaching for vash. at his core, he just wants to be together with his brother.

leading us neatly into this, which makes me want to eat glass!

"i felt his true self being absorbed." dude. that must be so scary. for vash and for knives both. vash felt his brother disappearing. and knives... he's losing himself. it's like he's dying. when vash said there's no coming back from this, he wasn't lying. vash slipped away from knives physically, but knives is slipping away from vash mentally.

also, when knives's feather touches vash in this moment, this is how he reacts. is it like a two way street, or...? did knives feel what vash was feeling, too?

and then as knives proceeds with his plant-absorbing crusade, he thinks this.

at his core he loves vash, and now he's deliberately trying to get rid of that core by absorbing more plants. to push that part of himself away, for the sake of his mission. trying to forget vash, who is the only person who ever had a chance of bringing him back from the brink. losing that part of himself. drowning out the love he has for vash by making "himself" disappear.

it's so fucking over. at the end of the day there is still love between vash and knives but knives is too far gone and they can never be a family again. i'm experiencing shrimp emotions.

[stuckonpageone]

That one author situation

I have a lot of thoughts on this and they are very jumbled.

I haven't read the article yet that goes in detail about the abuses *that* author has done because it's behind a paywall, but it doesn't take much to think just how bad it actually is, based on what I've heard about him already.

I've heard some troubling discourse though about art and what it would imply of the person creating it, based on the subject matter. I have some thoughts about that.

First, let me say right away:

it is absolutely okay to be disgusted by these revelations and want to get rid of all your books/merch from this person. that is your right - do what makes you comfortable.

It is *also* okay to still enjoy those works, completely separating them from the person who made them. This is normal and probably should be expected, but again, if you default to the first option, there is nothing wrong with that.

It is also okay to be sad and upset that you once liked this author/person. It is normal. What he did is heinous.

However, I have seen some people say things like "well, I read Ocean at the end of the Lane and was deeply disturbed, therefore I suspected he was doing these shitty things all along!"

or, "Have you seen the subject matter in Sandman Chronicles? Of course he's an abuser!"

That, to me, is dangerous. Just because someone writes disturbing, dark things doesn't make them a criminal in real life. That's what art is for: to disturb you. And also, there are plenty of people who have written or created wholesome artwork that ended up being pieces of shit in real life. So you can't really base it on that.

Again, I see what is trying to be said here -- if Mr G's work was full of non-con stuff that was treated lightly or dismissed at hand, then I might be also inclined to think that way. But I read Ocean at the End of the Lane and it made me cry. Because I saw how awful a father could be to their child.

Yes, what happened to Muse in Sandman Chronicles is disgusting and awful, but the narrative definitely pushes that idea as well. The creator/writer is protrayed as a horrible person with little to zero redeeming factors. It's not glorified.

Am I shocked now by what's coming out about this man? Absolutely. I am horrified. Will it make me look at the work he made differently? Sure, definitely. Now that I know all this background stuff. Does that make me hate Sandman Chronicles? No. It is still a masterpiece. Will I want to support Mr G after this? No, I will not. He is a piece of shit. Full stop.

But, art is art. It's fiction. It's not real. It's a place to learn, grow, explore and create freely. It is not an indicator of who the artist is in real life. I mean, yeah, there's nuances to it. But to equate one with the other is dangerous and leads towards censorship.

Still, this especially is hard hitting for me, because up until now he was my favorite living author, and it will be hard for me to separate the art and the artist now.

Seriously, how hard is it for people to not be giant pieces of shit? God.

[quaz-art]

Grishastuck Kaz lore post let's go boys !!!

Note: the Cancerous Insurrection did not happen so adult trolls are allowed on Alternia.

Simple stuff first! Why a Bronzeblood? It's for obvious reasons I think; he's a farm boy, it just makes sense. My choice to make him Prospit is less obvious if you only consider the explanations used in the Extended Zodiac (EZ), but I would argue that even using only that it is by far more fitting than him being Derse. Yes his persona is that of a loner but Kaz considers the big picture and does work best with others to support him. He is not a solo act, despite what the persona of Dirtyhands might suggest.

Moving on from the obvious—time for classpecting! Thief and Mind are both pretty obvious choices, but together they don't make a whole lot of sense at first. The literal interpretation would be someone who steals others' plans much like how Vriska steals the spotlight. The problem with that is Meenah, she isn't stealing wealth and prosperity as a Thief of Life. Rather, she steals using her own prosperity as the means. This is the type of Thief I made Kaz, stealing using the aspect of Mind. In my personal analysis of the classes I describe a Limiter to their power that is unique to each class, building upon the ideas of the Instrument of the Muse and the Patron of the Witch from the comics. The Limiter for the Thief is the Treasure, something which they are trying to steal whether that be something more abstract or a physical thing. Acquisition of the Treasure is the ultimate goal of the Thief, and in this case Kaz's Treasure is earning his brother's forgiveness (whether through revenge or, later on, gaining the power and security to not be vulnerable again)

Speaking of Jordie, most of Kaz's backstory here is unchanged. Dumping hoards of lowbloods into the sea as a means of getting rid of the dead is absolutely something the empire would do.

Kaz and Jordie shared a Lusus—A Blind Woofbeast, pictured below next to an adult Kaz (he is still 6 foot do not let the stylization fool you. This is a big dog.)

(I modeled their Lusus after a sheepdog, it felt appropriate given the agrarian background and Kaz's affection for dogs)

The Ritvel brothers moved to the city after the death of their Lusus with the hope of making enough money to evade the draft. Things seemed to be going well, they were taken in by a retired off-world merchant named Jackob Herzon who ended up being the leader of the inter-world gang known as the Deci-lions; Pekkah Rolins. Kaz's time on the Reaper's barge is made worse by the sun burning away at his flesh. He ends up forming a cocoon of corpses to hide away from the painful light of the sun, though he has plenty of burn scars from where the light managed to peek through his makeshift roof of bodies.

Kaz ends up joining the Dregs, a gang run by a nobody jade by the name of Mr. Haskel who lives off-world and spends most of their hard-earned credits drinking away, much to the dismay of everyone who works for him. He still insists on calling their symbol an "ominous squawk-beast" like some sort of low blood pauper. Since Kaz took control everyone in the gang knows the tattoo to be of a crow and cup. Not a fucking squawk-beast and a chalice.

Kaz keeps his blood color anonymous for fairly obvious reasons, while hemo-heirarchy is less of a factor in the underbellies of society it would undermine his reputation just as much, if not moreso, as being found out as being from the country. There are plenty of rumors about Dirtyhands's blood, that he doesn't have any, that if you slice him open he'd bleed harbor water, that he's an indigo playing dress-up in the barrel. All of them serve him decently enough. The problem with his blood comes as his 9th sweep is approaching, while he can easily avoid the draft by this point the matter of his eyes is horrifyingly out of his control. Without a serious influx of credits the only option he has is to blind himself, at least until a councilman approaches him with a job offer from the empire. A job with a payout too big to pass up, even if the task at hand is impossible.

[niuttuc]

New budget Commander cards: Lost Caverns of Ixalan: White

You know these by now, we’ll go color by color, mixing main set and commander set. Reprints can be included if they brought the price down under our bar or are otherwise notable. All the cards presented here are under $2 at time of writing. Cards will be evaluated as part of the 99, not as commanders.

Let's start with three cards for the price of one, three one-drops to keep your curve lean and clean, with useful effects in some decks. Helping Hand is solid recursive value but will need specific decks that are running a toolbox of cheap creatures.

The reliquary is a very serviceable removal if your deck will reliably have stuff to throw away to cast it, adding Ward to an O-Ring makes it a bit less likely for it to be removed. Being a one-mana artifact also means you can find it, a removal for any creature or artifact, off of a Trinket Mage if you need to, which could be clutch.

The Gnome will basically shield you from early aggression then be cashed in as a cantrip later, particularly in decks that can sac it themself. With a reliquary, for example!

I don't know how long this will stay in the budget, but Karnstructs are strong. This represents two artifacts by itself, can be blinked or reused, and even without a board it's not hard to flip it with a few equipments or artifacts lying around and start pumping out more Karnstructs every turn. Consider it in token decks, in artifact decks, in artifact token decks...

Abuelo's Awakening is not great reanimation in any form, but four mana to bring back any powerful enchantment or artifact is pretty much the cheapest we've seen this effect... Just don't be banking on that artifact or enchantment surviving too long. And you need to know what you want to be doing to be playing this, it won't just go in any deck.

A sun titan for 4 is an interesting offer, and one that will do work in pretty much any deck. We're not replacing Sun Titan here (nor Guardian Scalelord) though, Coven requires you to have at least three creatures around, which makes this significantly worse at redeploying after a board wipe and will be much more of a feels bad when you just don't have coven when you need it, and attacking with a 3/3 on the ground can be tricky to trigger it later. I'll stick to my existing options for the time being, but if I ever run a deck that wants 4 different Sun Titan effects and has plenty of creatures, this likely would make the cut.

This is a good removal. White has a plethora of good options for removal, but have another here that's both versatile and efficient, your middle-point between a Swords to Plowshares and a Generous Gift on versatility vs cost.

Grasp of Fate on a body for just one more mana! Of course, that means it'll die much more easily, but that's why the activated ability is there to munch on things... Which will end up costing you a lot more than four mana to get rid of stuff permanently. If your pod can expect a creature to survive a turn cycle though, might still have some places to play this, particularly if you can hold up mana and threaten munching on stuff at instant speed if they point something in your foragers' direction.

This is a two-mana mana rock for artifact decks, that also happens to loop artifacts once or twice. Play it in all your artifact decks with white. Exiling your own stuff means you're less likely to go infinite with it than the average artifact, but if it merely brings back your other infinite pieces while also being a rock, it's good enough.

If you want your board wipes to be artifacts, you now have one more option in white. With a lot of artifact support pieces being creatures with low power (did you know all the Urzas have power 2 or less?), and you picking for all players, this should allow you to keep your best cheap enabler while leaving the opponents with hopefully less impactful dorks. Beyond that, the flip side is a pretty great windborn muse: who would skip their turn of casting spells just to attack you? And you get a 5/3 flier, which isn't too shabby either.

It's a new flying Pridemate, and one with quite an upside when your opponent finally removes her or wipes the board. Beyond the classic souls' attendant style decks, she will also make her way into aristocrat decks, where every blood artist turns every creature sacrificed before her into more creatures when you run out, allowing relatively easy aristocrat combo wins.

Reanimating every turn is nice when you start on the first turn, though the six mana are pretty steep here, you'll want to make sure what you're reanimating is impactful every turn. A card for angels, dragons, demons and such, but in those decks, the top of your curve tends to be filled with creatures of that type, so you might not find room for this.

[iunctura-arch]

🚩🚩 feel free to make it as much as necessary!

MARU I'M GOING TO ELIMINATE YOUR ASS WITH STELLE'S FUCKIN' BAT-

As said, I'm just using this to vent since there's no topic!!!

The thing is that, with RPs, I always have an interest but it may not be with that particular muse or the muse everyone wants. Not to mention I lose replies if I don't get to them ASAP due to activity being an asshole to me and the fact I just...

I think I reply but I never do. I have that problem a lot so honestly, shoving the link at me and going "did you miss this?" helps a lot. I had a bug with tumblr drafts at one point where it wouldn't let me save anything I tried to edit so I've stopped drafting replies-- oh and when it wouldn't show up on people's dashes (or mine) so I had to hand the links to people.

Yeah, so I lose them a lot. Sorry. I'm an idiot. If you want me to reply, please slap the link at me and I'll do my best.

I am an anxiety-riddled person who has been ignored too much. My asks in my ask box are precious to me and I don't answer some of them because of it. It's a bad habit. I like seeing them in there. I don't want it empty.

But I remember sending stuff in to spark interactions or something, and getting ignored. And feeling like a complete and utter asshole because I wanted to interact with them but it felt like the feeling wasn't mutual.

So I just keep to myself when it comes to sending asks and I need to stop doing that... but I'm afraid they'll just get ignored, so I don't.

Trust me, on my end, I'm not ignoring anyone who sends asks... they just make me happy to see in my inbox and I don't want to get rid of them. I have over 30 to reply to and I gotta find the memes attached to them, so... it'll take me a bit.