#I did beta read this but only once and I’m dyslexic so I still expect us to die like men

[ellascreams]

I Can’t Handle This

[Ollie managed to leave his job at Zoraxis and find his calling as a handler for the Agency, and it was all thanks to Agent Phoenix. When their usual handler is out of commission and Ollie has to fill in for him, he hopes he can do something to show Phoenix his gratitude and that their trust in him wasn’t in vain.]

Agent Phoenix changed Ollie’s life. He had suspected Zoraxis may not have been such a good company after all, but when he saw how that agent was kinder to him that any of his coworkers, despite him being the “enemy,” it was the final straw. That escape pod was not nearly as safe as it seemed at first glance, but he survived long enough for the Agency to find him. That was no easy feat. The Agency offered him a job on the spot. Finally, a chance to do some real good!

Unfortunately they wanted him in the Enhanced Operatives Devision. Ollie knew that was not his field. It was far too dangerous, and truthfully, he kind of got lucky in the escape pod. Surviving it did take skill, don’t get him wrong, but he was still lucky. He didn’t often have luck like that. He’d have to accept death or turn them down.

But then Agent Phoenix, THE Agent Phoenix, put in a good word for him. They had been the one in the lab. They said that he was a comforting voice in the chaos, that he understood their signals and ideas, that he could handle technology well, and that he even helped them figure out how to deal with that giant squid when their own handler couldn’t. They said that Ollie wouldn’t be a good field agent. He would be a great handler.

And, well, that was that. He became a handler. He loved it. It was stressful of course, but he was good at it, and he was finally helping people. He was making the world a better place and making up for the evil he had done. He really felt like he found his calling. And it was all thanks to the Phoenix. How can you repay something like that? How can you thank someone for changing your life like that?

Ollie didn’t know the answer, but he knew that it started with today. Phoenix’s usual handler, who Ollie knew as Mason although that probably wasn’t his real name, had gotten sick. He wasn’t in terrible condition but the Agency wanted him to get better as soon as possible so they made him rest. His agent, on the other hand, still had to do their job. They had a mission today. They still needed a handler and ideally one they were somewhat familiar with. Ollie was going to be Mason’s stand in. This was it. His chance to start to pay off a fraction of what he owed them.

Sitting in his office, watching the agent break in, Ollie thought back to the debriefing. “Ok! So. The Zoraxis INK model, they were using it to control a giant squid, you remember her right? We still don’t know much about it but I convinced the Agency to look into it as soon as I joined up, and wouldn’t you know, we actually found something! It’s a lab and sort of a warehouse in New Zealand where they’ve been working on the project. There should only be one guard, but we’re still expecting overall security to be tight, so we’re sending you in! You’re our best agent so I’m sure it will probably go great! I think!”

Oh gosh, he was so embarrassed. Why had he sounded so awkward? Why hadn’t he sounded more confident in their success? He was just so nervous about trying to show that Phoenix was right to think he’d be a good handler that he probably showed them they weren’t. Even now he was shaking, drenched in sweat, his heart pounding, just hoping the mission would go well. He almost didn’t notice when the agent finished disabling the security system and walked in.

“Great job Phoenix!” He said earnestly. “Now go down this hallway, turn right, go to the end of that hallway, and you can go into Hivemind’s office! It might not have all the information we need, but his office seems like the best place to start. It is his invention after all! If nothing else there should be something to lead us to what we…”

Ollie’s voice trailed off. He watched as the agent examined a vending machine next to the entrance. They were eyeing some Zor Cola, Ollie recognized it from the vending machine back in the underwater lab. It tasted like pure chemicals but it was better than nothing when you were really thirsty. Phoenix began searching around the vending machine, presumably looking for a misplaced coin, a secret code, or some problem with the machinery they could exploit.

“Sorry if you’re thirsty agent, but maybe Hivemind has some sort of drink in his office?” Phoenix continued looking until they found something on the back of the vending machine. “I don’t mean to pressure you, it’s just that the guard is still doing their rounds and we might not have much time before she gets here.” They began pressing buttons on the machines control pad. “Seriously, we don’t have much time.”

The vending machine accepted the maintenance code and its door opened. Ollie sighed. “Ok, just take the Cola with you and drink once you get to the office.” Phoenix nodded as they grabbed the Cola with their TK and headed down the hallway.

When Phoenix closed the door to Hivemind’s office, Ollie couldn’t help but give a sharp inhale as he saw that the agent had just barely missed the guard. Then Ollie took some slow, purposeful breaths. The guard only patrolled the hallways. She wouldn’t go into the office without reason. Close call or not they were safe now.

Agent Phoenix sat at Hivemind’s desk and drank their Zor Cola as the examined it. On top of it there was a lunch prepared for later, (it was a banana with a peanut butter and honey sandwich,) a lighter, ashtray, and cigars, (knowing bees and smoke he probably wasn’t the one who used those,) and Hiveminds’s name plaque. Where Phoenix was sitting they could see the desk had two drawers. One opened up to reveal bee keeping supplies. The other had to be unlocked with a code. A sticky note had the code written on it but it was, somewhat ironically, written in code.

“Alright, do you still have that cipher I gave you?” They nodded as the took the piece of paper out of their blazer pocket and unfolded it. “It probably won’t be the exact same as the one in my lab, but it should be a good place to start!”

The code was in fact different from Ollie’s old one, but the cipher did help. They managed to figure out as much “A___A_S B___AV_” before they had to start looking around the office for more clues. The beekeeping items were labeled in code and with Ollie recognizing the hive tool they were able to get the letters I, L, H, and E. Hivemind’s name plaque had his name in code on the back which gave them the extra letters N and M. That gave them the full code. “ANIMALS BEEHAVE.” Of course it was a bee pun.

Phoenix punched in the code and the drawer opened up. Inside there were a few documents. A couple talked about the actual function and design of the devices. Another seemed to be reporting on experiments. Annoyingly, that one was written in code too, and they definitely didn’t have enough information or time to decipher all of it. What they did get from it was a room number: 28.

“Room 28 is bit far away but I should be able to guide you there. The guards still doing her rounds around here though, so you can take a quick break!”

Phoenix picked up the peanut butter and honey sandwich and examined it for a moment. Then they picked up the lighter. They toasted the bread quite a bit before they ate it. That’s fine, by the time anyone notices the sandwich is gone, the agent will be gone too. Then they set a poster on fire.

“PLEASE, please be careful about that! You might burn yourself or set off the smoke alarm!” Ollie pleaded, but Phoenix set yet another poster on fire before putting both flames out with what was left of the Zor Cola. Were they like this with Mason too? They had to be, because if they weren’t that would mean…

That would mean they don’t respect his abilities as a handler. That they don’t think Ollie has the authority or even the skill give them instructions. It would mean that what they said to the Agency, what they said to him about his potential, wasn’t true. The person who believed in him enough to change his life didn’t actually believe in him.

Ollie did his best to ignore the thought. They were probably just like this. Hopefully. “The guard is out of the way now, so it would be a good time to head out.” Phoenix nodded and walked out of the room. Slowly, carefully, and quietly they walked through the hallways as Ollie told them what turns to make. Phoenix’s curiosity once again almost got them caught but Ollie’s directions were very well coordinated and the agent wasn’t stupid enough to stick around for too long. At the very center of the building, they found it. Room 28.

Phoenix looked at the room though the door’s window. The lights weren’t on but it wasn’t super dark. They didn’t see anything in the room but it was because there was nothing to see. It was a big empty room. There was maybe a table in one of the corners? It was a lot harder to see near the walls.

“I have a bad feeling about this. Maybe you should just take what we have and go.” Phoenix crossed their arms stubbornly. Ollie felt his stomach squirm. A room that large should never be that empty. Still, Phoenix was an incredible agent, and their instinct about what information is needed is probably pretty accurate. Maybe he was worrying too much. “Oh ok, I don’t think there’s any alarms in there but just, be careful.” They nodded and began picking the lock.

Ollie tried to stifle his gasp as the agent closed the door behind them but he mostly failed. He chose not to say anything and Phoenix took his silence as a go ahead. They walked towards the small table they saw earlier hoping it might have some readable notes. They began to hear a faint hissing sound. Then some quiet growls. Then a roar. Then barking. It was only when they got to the center of the room that their eyes had adjusted to the low light enough for them to see where the noise was coming from.

The walls they couldn’t see before were lined with caged animals. Barred doors were all that kept them safe from bears, wild cats, dogs, wolves, snakes, all of them wearing familiar shackles. All of them angry and ready to attack Phoenix. All of them loud enough to alert—

“What’s wrong you stupid animals?” The guard said as she opened the door and turned on the light. She was certainly surprised to see Phoenix there. The shock died quickly though as she looked them in the eyes and smirked. She left the room and Phoenix heard the distinct click of a door being locked. It was only then they noticed what had made Ollie gasp so nervously earlier. The door couldn’t be unlocked from the inside. Then the cages opened.

“There should be a vent in there, can you get to it? It might be a tight fit but it’s the only exist you’ve got.” Phoenix scanned the room while trying to dodge animal attacks and saw the vent near the ceiling. They climbed one of the cage doors and jumped to the vent, hanging off the edge of it. They tried to use their TK and lock picking tools to unscrew the grille while things tried to bite at their feet. They dropped the their tools and caught the grille before it could could hit them in the head, and dropped it below them. Luckily it didn’t seem to hit any animals. Phoenix pulled themself up and began to crawl.

It was a bit of a tight fit as Ollie had predicted but Phoenix had probably been in worse. They stopped after crawling for long enough that the animal sounds were noticeably muffled. Sadly there was also the muffled sound of the guard opening the door and telling the animals to search for them. Once there was a moment of quiet Ollie felt so much adrenaline and guilt. Worrying too much? His job was to worry! He should’ve insisted that they didn’t go in there, or pointed out the suspicious lack of lock, or something! He didn’t know what to do anymore. Well, there was one option. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is find someone more helpful than you.

“Well, I was given a way to contact your handler for emergencies, and I think this is an emergency. You’ll just have to hang tight until I get through to him.” Ollie tried to keep his upbeat tone but it was wavering. “Sorry.”

Ollie was too busy typing to see the expression of heartbreak and guilt on Phoenix’s face. Why in the world was he apologizing? He told them not to go in there and they did anyway, anything that had gone wrong in this mission was because of their own actions. Was Ollie blaming himself?

“No.” Agent Phoenix spoke. It was one small whisper but it was enough to make Ollie stop in his tracks. Phoenix was selectively mute. He knew they could speak, but if they were speaking, they had something very important to say. “Mason doesn’t know as much about INK as you or as much about animals. And he isn’t my handler right now. You are. So I need your help. Please.”

Ollie still felt his heart pounding. He was so scared to mess this up. But the agent, his agent right now, really did believe in him. They said they needed him and who was he to tell them they were wrong. “There’s no way you’ll be able to get the shackles off of all those animals, and honestly I’d like you to avoid hurting them.” He said. He looked through his maps again. “Can I see those design papers?” Phoenix struggled to take them out of their pocket in the vent but they managed it. Ollie studied them the best he could and cross referenced them with other maps and notes of the project.

“It seems like all these animals are given the same orders since they’re just test subjects, and to save money they connected them all to one control panel and one power source. If I had to guess, and it seems like I have to, I’d say the controls are in room 17. I can guide you there if you’re ready to start crawling again.” Phoenix put the notes back in their pocket and got into crawling position. Ollie told them where to turn until they got to another room: room 17. They kicked the grille off and hopped down.

The room did in fact have a large control panel. “I doubt they have a simple off button but we should be able to cut off the power. Thing is it uses kinesium, so we have to be really careful about how we turn it off. I’m sure we can figure something out though!” And they did. There were some close calls and it took a while, but with Phoenix’s puzzle solving skills and Ollie’s information on Zoraxis tech they managed to cut the right wires and press the right buttons to turn the power off. They were glad it didn’t take too long, some of the animals were getting really close to finding them. Noises of anger and hostility quickly turned to confusion and fear. Accept for the bear, which continued to sound angry as the guard screamed. Phoenix still left through the vents again. It was better to avoid wild animals when you could.

In the end they didn’t get all the information they wanted but they still got quite a bit. Phoenix’s handler was still going to be out of commission for a few days— no, that wasn’t right. Mason was going to be out of commission for a few days. The handler for the great Agent Phoenix was still going to be doing his job, because right now, their handler was Ollie. If Mason was ever out of commission it would be Ollie again.

Maybe he couldn’t exactly repay Phoenix for all they had done, or prove that their belief in his talent wasn’t misplaced, but he didn’t have to. Phoenix never questioned if their belief was misplaced and never thought Ollie had to repay them. Instead, Ollie proved to himself that their belief hadn’t been misplaced and Phoenix proved to Ollie that he was their friend. That was probably better than what he could’ve hoped for.