#I cried for Glam tbh

[imchronicallydepressed]

I'm sorry, this isn't mine clearly stated by the handle. I just... Ugh.

[haowenyang]

how i view the choir/my rtc headcanons (it's pretty clear who's my favourite tbh)

ocean

I mainly see her as tiffany tatreau's portrayal

she/her, cis, aroace

doesn't really get the concept of being trans, was only introduced to it when ricky joined the choir

ocd, asthma

2nd shortest in choir, 5'4

has never had a haircut

the only time she got into trouble at school was when she and noel were arguing. she cried until she threw up after that. it was the first day of senior year.

says she's a polyglot but she's nowhere near fluent in the languages she claims to speak

hates theatre :(

texts with proper grammer

listens solely to up with people

noel

i mainly see him as james ragen's portrayal (trinity theatre actor)

he/they/she, nonbinary, gay

jean valjean from les mis was his gay awakening

speaks french

autism, bipolar disorder

unironically says slay, pop off, queen, etc.

instead of saying "who in gods name" he says "who in jean genet's name"

can't cook or spell for the life of him

has ocean saved in his phone as "the lion, the witch, the audacity of this bitch"

types only in lowercase with no punctuation

does ricky’s french homework

5'8

listens to french music and mitski (once ocean walked in on him belting a taylor swift song. that was never spoken about again)

has a crush on mischa. cried when mischa and ricky got together.

he has a boyfriend...! he just... goes to a different school... in a different timezone... in a different country...!

permanent teen angst phase

mischa

i see him as a mix of adam stanley and chaz duffy's portrayals

he/him (doesn't mind they though), trans, bi, poly

dating ricky and talia

has invited noel to the polycule before but they prefer to live in tradgedy

adhd, ptsd

once he forgot how to breathe

learnt spanish for ricky and his family

hates duolingo

polyglot

fluent in multiple types of sign too

when ricky came out as trans (while they were in a relationship with eachother) he posted a video to his youtube talking about trans rights and changed every video with ricky's deadname in it <333

once his "friends" (the people that mischa hangs around with to keep his persona strong but in reality despises them) made fun of ricky, safe to say ricky isn't a very safe candidate to mock for them now

usually types all in uppercase but does relax it sometimes

the human embodiment of a golden retriever around people he likes

listens to maklemore and eminem but is willing to listen to music that talia & ricky like

him, talia and ricky all have promise rings

loves sharks

when talia comes to canada, she agreed to go to a planetarium with ricky and teach him some ukrainian

once he forgot a word in ukrainian and look horrified

6'9

ricky

i see him as yannick-robin eike mirko's portrayal... like only their portrayal... godamn you, autism (although i do have multiple versions of him in my mind)

he/they/it/xe/nameself prns, trans, boyflux, pansexual, poly

dating mischa and talia

autism, adhd, degenerative disease, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, asthma, maladaptive daydreaming

always looses his inhaler

speaks spanish, german and korean as well as three types of sign (and english ofc)

puerto rican

moved to canada at 14

he’s 16 (technically canon)

his parents are really religious

when he learnt what sex was, zolar became his horny place as well as his escape

emoticon user

once ate a bauble because xey were bored

does noel’s spanish homework

used to unironically watch the emoji movie and liked it...

does write music, prefers to keep it a secret because ocean WILL use his music for choir songs

listens to glam rock in general with a few musicals mixed in there

randomly has allergic reactions

paints his nails

knows everyones secrets :)

writes fanfiction

HATES THE TAMBOURINE.

tries to hum along to the music at rehersal

has his text size at the biggest possible one

has glasses, whenever he adjusts them ocean thinks he's trying to correct her

won't eat the school lunches

constantly sleep deprived

does not know how to kiss

5’1

okay i don't want this to entirely be ricky... so lets move on

jane | penny

i see her mainly as em flosi's portrayal

they/it/she, agender, aroace

autism, drdp

carried her doll everywhere

speaks latin

joined choir because her social worker made it

doesn’t really listen to music, but when she does they listens to old music

has their parents old jewlery

spends most of their time in the library

6’2

constance

i mainly see her as princess victomé and tiffany polite's portrayal

she/they, demigirl, pansexual, asexual

depression, social anxiety

had a crush on ricky for a while

haitian

loves to bake

brings brownies, cookies, cakes etc to choir rehersals

brings extra food for kids that don’t have any

usually runs the café on weekends

her brother is called xavier

okay that’s it. this took me >2 hours to write so erm…

[giggly-squiggily]

The Longest Wait (Blue Lock)

Heyo! :D Y'all knew it was Bachisagi week? (Or was- I don’t know the dates, I just saw art celebrating it) I don't keep up with those TBH- but since I've had this made up featuring our boys I figured I'd share it anyway :D (This isn't in theme with the prompt- honestly I have no idea what the prompts are I just saw Bachisagi and that's that lols)

I made this little ol' fic for a friend of mine- you know who you are ;) I decided I wanted to post it now cause why not? :D Here's some Bachisagi for the soul, folks! I hope you like it!

CW: Swearing, Spoilers for Blue Lock Second Selection

Cloud 9 (Taglist):

@cupcake-spice13 @myreygn

Summary: Bachira is in a major tickly mood and wants to play. The problem? The Top 3 aren't all that interested. And so- the longest wait for Isagi to return has begun.

“I GOTCHA!” Bachira cheered, running forward as he grabbed onto Aryu’s waist. The taller boy barely had time to react before Bachira was on him, fingers flying over his ribs, sides, stomach, hips, what he could reach he tickled. “Gotcha! Gotcha gotcha gotcha…gotcha?” He paused, confused on why he wasn’t hearing laughter.

Looking up, he found Aryu’s amused look meeting his own, lips quirked up in a smirk. “Very glam attempt, Bachira- but I’m not ticklish.”

“What? No way- you have to be! Here? Here?” He gave his knees and thigh a squeeze- nothing! “Not even your feet or armpits or neck?”

Aryu raised an arm, and Bachira scribbled under it. Not even a giggle.

“Wow. I never knew anyone who wasn’t ticklish.” Bachira blinked, amazed. Then his eyes widened when Aryu turned to look at him, a grin pulling at his lips. “Sihihihlly me~”

“Very silly.” Aryu reached out, and Bachira braced himself-

For a pat on the head. He blinked.

“Silly but glam. I respect the hustle.” Aryu nodded before returning to his original goal- leaving Bachira standing there oddly disappointed.

~~~

Tokemitsu sighed as he finished working out, sitting on the nearby bench with a towel over his head. The perfect time to strike! Bachira giggled, slowly approaching the older boy as he drank water. “Toke~MITSU!” He yelled in glee, jabbing his fingers into the buff boy’s ribs.

“PFFFT-” Water flew everywhere as Tokimitsu choked, coughing and laughing between each breath. Bachira blinked, suddenly worried he killed him, but then Tokimitsu was just giggly and he took that as a sign to keep going.

“Ahehahahhahahahhahaha! B-Bahahahahhahchirahhahahahahaha!” He cried, going stone still as he curled into himself and laughed. “Dohohoohohon’t it tihihiihhiihckles!”

“Does it now? Well come on then- fight back!” Bachira teased, drilling his fingers along the backs of Tokimitsu’s ribs, making him arch and cackle. “Make me stop, Toke~”

“Ahehahahhahhahaha! Gehahahahahahahaha! Aahah-EHEHEHEHEHHHH!” And then he was off, running for the hills and out of the gym. Bachira began to follow, but blinked when he saw Tokimitsu nowhere in sight.

That uneasy disappointment settled in his chest once more.

~~~

“Rin! Rin, Rin, Rin!” Bachira bounced up, fingers poised. “I’m gonna-”

“If you touch me, you die.” Rin growled, eyes cold and dangerous.

Bachira instantly retracted- he knew the difference between a halfhearted threat and a hard stop. Rin was clearly not in the mood. “Eh…fair enough. Well- want to practice together? We can make a bet! Loser get to…” Bachira watched as Rin faded away from the conversation- literally. Before he could even wager anything, the other boy was halfway across the soccer field, practicing drills.

“Man, and I was gonna let you win, too.” Bachira huffed, falling back against the wall and sinking into the grass. Joining the Top 3 was both a blessing and a curse. Sure- he definitely evolved as a player and his soccer improved, but he was so…lonely. He missed Team Z- at least there was someone always in the mood to play with him when he got like this.

Someone…Isagi.

Oh, how he missed Isagi.

The boy who was so unyieldingly present- who’s playful moods seemed to align almost perfectly with his own, meaning he always had company. Even when they didn’t, Bachira could at least have a friend- here he felt strangely out of place despite being here for over a week. The Top 3- for the most part- were nice enough, but it just wasn’t the same.

He missed his blue eyed monster companion. His chest ached longingly for him.

…..Huh. When’d he start feeling that?

Silly. He chided himself. You’ve always felt that way since the beginning. It’s just even more present now that he’s not here.

Bachira sighed, bringing his knees up to his chin. He wanted Isagi back.

A ball came rolling to his feet, followed by legs. For a brief moment, Bachira wondered if he got his wish.

But when he looked up, blue eyes were teal, and soft blue hair turned green. “If you want to run drills, hurry up.” Rin scoffed, looking away. Bachira’s eyes may have been playing tricks, but he swore he saw a faint flush on his ears. “Either that or mope somewhere else.”

“Aww, worried about me?” Bachira cooed, grinning when Rin scowled, his ears reddening further. “I’m fine- but I’ll gladly take your offer.”

It wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but it would have to do.

~~~

Then Isagi was leaning against the wall when they came out, eyes only for Bachira and a challenge on his lips.

“Yo Bachira. I’ve been looking for you.”

~~~

“I can’t BELIEVE it! Luck? Ugh, what irony!” Isagi flopped backwards against his new bed, freshly washed and mildly embarrassed. He had gotten back from bothering Rin- apparently he slipped and fell on him when attempting a Yoga pose. Bachira had been giggling up a storm for the past few minutes, so much so when Rin did return he tossed his towel in his face and grumbled something about “Should have picked the lazy guy.”

“Still, you’re here!” Bachira grinned, flopping across Isagi’s prone form with bright eyes. His heart couldn’t stop beating- and he may have cried in the shower earlier. He was just booming with emotions tonight- Isagi was BACK!

That fear in his chest regarding who he’d pick if he won still hung around, but he could tuck it away. Isagi was home!

“I am!” Isagi sighed, something like relief in his eyes as he turned to look at Bachira. “I can’t believe he picked me. I was worried for a second there!” He laughed, reaching out and taking Bachira’s cheek in his hand. “But we’re together, and I won’t let you slip away from me ever again.”

That fear released some, but the question was still on his lips. “Isagi..would you have picked me? If you guys won?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation. Isagi’s eyes were dark with genuinity. “You’ve always been my pick.”

The fear vanished completely, and Bachira smiled, eyes starting to grow wet. “Thank you…”

“Ugh, you two are insufferable.” Rin groaned from his bed, earning a knowing smile from Aryu as he dried his hair. “Why the hell did we pick him again?”

“You picked him, Rin-Rin. In fact- I think your exact words after we left ego was “Now that bob-cut weirdo can be happy again.” Very glam on your end.” The older boy pulled his hair free, pausing when eyes were on him. “Was that a secret?”

“Kinda?” Tokimitsu offered, smiling sheepishly at Rin’s stunned embarrassment, face slightly flushed as he glared into the floor. Bachira and Isagi gawked, looking from Rin to Aryu to Tokimitsu to each other.

“Aw, RinRin~” Bachira began.

“That’s so-” Isagi followed up.

“Shut up! Don’t say anything- ugh, I’m showering.” Rin grumbled, standing from the bed and storming out, face on fire. No one pointed out he had just come back from it.

“Who knew he was such a softie?” Bachira asked when he was gone, earning a chorus of giggles and smiles.

“We have to pay him back sometime.” Isagi nodded.

“Later.” Bachira flopped into him, smiling. “Right now, I just want to be with you.”

~~~

It wasn’t much time later when the playful feeling returned.

Bouncing on his heels, Bachira poked his head through the door, finding Isagi plopped across one of the many yoga mats. He looked tired and happy and comfortable- all perfect attributes for Bachira’s mood.

Hopping in, he did a little tippy toe dance before dramatically sighing, falling back on his butt, then his back. He looked up at Isagi with big eyes as he stretched out across him, a smile on his lips.

Isagi, who had been half-paying attention till Bachira’s unceremonious lap attack, met his eyes with a head tilt, a grin pulling on his mouth. “Hello there. Come here often?”

“Only when you’re around.” Bachira snuggled up, poised and waiting.

Isagi snorted, shaking his head as he looked around the barely crowded gym. Chigiri and Nagi were running on the treadmills- well; Chigiri was. Nagi was all but snoozing as he walked slowly up one. Rin was stretching, surprisingly engaged as he talked  to a light blue haired boy across from him. Barou was doing weights- shirt off and drenched in sweat.

All lost in their own little worlds. He doubted any of them would notice them.

“Lucky me. And here I thought I’d be stretching alone.” Isagi gave his arms a good one, flinching and giggling when fingers prodded his ribs. “Whahat?”

Bachira’s hands went back across his belly, folded and patient. His smile never dropped as he watched Isagi, waiting.

“Oh, so that’s how it is?” The blue eyed striker grinned, raising his hands high and wiggling his fingers. “You want to play huh?”

“Yes please.” Bachira breathed out, as if he was being relieved of a consistent pain. “I’ve been wanting to forever.”

“Ah, I see.” Isagi’s playful grin grew a bit soft, eyes warm as he drew out the anticipation. Then he struck, going right for Bachira’s waist. The smaller boy let out a squeak and an arch before bursting into giggles, squirming in his lap. “Ahehahahahhahahha! Isa-Isahahhahahahgihihihihiihhi!”

“Is this what you wanted? You wanted someone to tickle you for a while now, huh?” He cooed, bringing both hands up and across Bachira’s ribs in spidery motions. “I bet you were waiting forever for this. I bet you wanted someone to tickle you the entire time I was gone, huh?”

“Ahehahahahhahha! Mhahahahhahybeheheheheehehe?” Bachira giggled out, cheeks red and eyes squeezed shut with mirth. He didn’t bring his arms down from behind his head though, keeping them tucked there as he giggled and squirmed. “Whhohohohohoho’s to shahahahhahahahy?”

Isagi chuckled, drilling his fingers into Bachira’s highest rib and earning a proper squeal. Arms shot down as Bachira tried to loosely block him out, hands curling into fists to avoid reaching out and grabbing him. “Look at you- you won’t even fight back! Something tells me you’re loving this! So, let’s ask the important question.” He paused his attack, leaning over the other. “Do you want me to keep being gentle or go right for your back?”

Bachira gasped, sucking down greedy breaths as he weighed the options. Gentle or his worst spot. It would feel nice to cut loose and cackle like a goon while Isagi scratched at his shoulder blades…

But then he remembered they were in a public space, and while that never stopped him in the past, something about right now felt special. Like going all out was their thing and he wanted to keep it that way.

“Gheehhentle, plehahahse.” He decided, worried for a second, Isagi was gonna press. Instead, the blue eyed boy above him smiled in understanding, fingers tapping over Bachira’s belly and making him squirm and giggly once more.

“I gotcha, Bumblebee.” He grinned when the other went bright red, hiding his face in his hands as he giggled and kicked. “Oh, you like that?”

“Suhuhuhhuhuuhuhush!” He giggled out, squeaking when Isagi massaged his hip. His whole body tingled happily with each wave of laughter until finally- Isagi came to a stop, brushing back his messy bangs so he could really take in Bachira’s smiling face. “Aheheheheeheh….ehheheheehellohohoho thehehehehere.”

“Hello to you too.” He leaned in to kiss him-

There was a sudden crash. The two looked over as Nagi tumbled off the treadmill, phone flying as he rolled backwards. “Nagi!” Chigiri yelped, staggering off his own machine and rushing to the pale boy. Barou all but dropped his weights as he ran over too. “Say something!”

“.....Zz-Huh?” Nagi blinked, eyes heavy with sleep. “Did I win the marathon?”

“Dumbass.” Barou shook his head as Chigiri collapsed across the older boy, shoulders shaking with laughter. “He’s fine.” He called out to the gym, turning back to his weights.

“Well, that happened.” Bachira giggled, reaching up and pulling Isagi’s pouting face back to his own. “Where were we?”

“Oh? Ah, right.” Isagi smiled, giving him a quick peck before standing up. Bachira blinked up at him, intrigued. Then a hand was offered and he was pulled up and into Isagi’s arm, the taller boy scooping him up with ease.

Wow…when’d Isagi get so strong?

“Come on- let’s pick this back up in our room. I have some spots I want to try.” Isagi grinned, the thumb against Bachira’s back wiggling some and making the younger boy giggle.

“Take me away, Isagirin~” He sang, arms around his neck as he swung a foot, hanging on as Isagi all but ran to their room.

It was the longest wait in history, but with Isagi back on his side, it was worth it.

Thanks for reading!

[gustingirl]

10 films I love (not showing pictures lol)

tagged by my angie again @smythecriminal ilysm and you should know it.

ok this will definitely be long cuz i love talking about myself so after this break!

i. dead poets society (1989)

i think many of you have seen my obsession with this film oh my god it truly went through my heart and still does every time i rewatch it

ii. relatos salvajes / wild tales (2014)

i rewatch it every chance i have. there's something about watching humanity lose their mind over maybe mundane things, it's so weirdly entertaining. every story is written so beautifully, i can’t believe it didn't win an oscar

iii. velvet goldmine (1999)

i’m amazed not many people have seen this film, that's a whole crime. you got gay ewan mcgregor and gay christian bale, what else do you need? it's glam and it's fun to watch and i can go on but i already said what needed to be said

iv. esperando la carroza (1985)

one of the few films i can rewatch a thousand times and never get tired. i laugh every single time and i quote it at least once a day.

v. takers (2010)

it's a silly movie tbh but that makes it fun to rewatch. besides hayden christensen is hot as fuck and so is idris elba, the only problem is trigger warning chris brown but other than that it's such an enjoyable film

vi. hijo de la novia / son of a bride (2001)

i cried, i laughed, i sobbed, i enjoyed it so fucking much. i cannot rewatch it for the sake of my heart but please this movie is so perfectly done. it has a thousand life messages, they get to you the older you get.

vii. the budapest hotel (2014)

i’m sorry i really do enjoy wes anderson films. i’m obsessed with simmetry and he's the best at the cinematographic resource. besides, he does it so well, i’m surprised. it never feels forced and, adding to the palette he uses, it just has this feeling of comfortable and cozy, no matter the story.

viii. nueve reinas / nine queens (2000)

obsessed for real. well anything ricardo darin does but this one blew my mind. i just really enjoy watching films that completely distract me from the unimaginable ending. very well done, very easy to carry too.

iv. death becomes her (1992)

i've read that this film did not help meryl's career but i don’t understand how. i know she was doing many good dramatic movies with accents and strong scenes and this film was silly next to them, but it's so fun to watch. she's hilarious and so fucking beautiful oh my god and i had no idea bruce willis was this funny too!

v. el secreto de sus ojos / the secret in their eyes (2009)

had to leave this one for the end because i consider this film one of the few masterpieces i've seen on the big screen. i can’t even write down an opinion, it was outstanding. the ending still lives rent free in my head. deserved that oscar and many more.

little extra one just because: tacones lejanos / high heels (1991), i just love pedro almodovar's films so much

tagging @joon-rkive @mangoslixes @peachy-101 @zurdoabsurdo @50-cm @harryduboisbignaturalss @laucha-posting @70sturner @trashlord-007 @loser-user-noaccuser @guribel

[clatoera]

uni application season has made me drop off the face of the earth so i'm extremely late coming to this chapter... but omg glim glam and cato.. TRAUMA BONDING?!?!?

cato with a gun. that's the entire review.

i love how simple this chapter is with the most infinite lore ever!!! clove can cook! what! how did that start, what was her favorite recipe, does she partake in... girl dinner?? so many questions.

glimmer with finnick kind of gives the platonic soulmates vibe. i just love how comfortable they are with each other and how much they have this underlying love & respect towards each other even though the other can fuck them over. ugh my beautiful capitol ruined babies.

"“It is. But you can’t change it now. I want to hate you, Finnick. I want to hate you, but then I remember being seventeen and terrified and in pain and you being the only one who could sit with me while I cried in the shower. I want to hate you but you were the one who carried me home after those terrible procedures, every time I cried because I thought I was bleeding to death, Finnick... I want to hate you but it’s hard to hate you when you look so pathetic.” Glimmer takes the risk, reaching her hand out to place it on top of Finnick’s. “How can I hate you, after we ended up in the same terrible sinking boat again.”"

LIKE WHAT? do you have no shame in just ripping out my heart in broad daylight?!?! 'it's hard to hate you when you look so pathetic' is so funny but so sad when you compare it to katniss saying it's hard to be angry at someone who cries so often back in mockingjay. UGH. justice for finnick, he better not die this time around.

CATO WITH A GUN. cato... with a GUN. there should be a hunger games with pipe bombs in it and i think we should place cato in it just for the giggles. i also love how the second they're back with weapons they just revert back to the academy mindset of Kill The Enemy which used to be other tributes but now has morphed into actual treason. well! sucks to be snow i guess! especially now that glim glam is getting her pink gun (which is also bejeweled in my mind)

love it as always! love u! it's all amazing thank u!

Hi bestie! I understand! I am actively working on residency applications as well so I totally understand. I'm actually waiting for my board scores to be released Wednesday so thats why I haven't posted/written another chapter yet, I am literally in too much distress to think of anything else until wednesday afternoon (think of me bc i'm going through it).

Cato and Glimmer trauma bonding was immediately part of the plan once I decided to take Glim Glam to 13. That was a without a doubt going to happen sort of situation if they were together here.

Thank you! The whole idea if these couple of chapters is to establish their lives in 13 and what will happen in a world without the people they love and without anyone to ground them!

Soooo yes Clove can cook. That comes from her childhood, in which she was a neglected little girl in charge of her own meals and keeping herself alive. She learned how to make her little sandwiches and keep herself afloat another day, at like..6...before she went to training at the academy. It compounded in her adult hood as a way to use her knives and keep up to date on fine knifework skills. I think she really got into it once she won and had the time and means to try new recipes. They seem like steak people. Good roast chicken people. I think Miss Clove would participate in girl dinner if not for the fact she's also responsible for feeding her 6'3 man friend who most definitely could not survive on girl dinner with grapes and rice crackers.

Glimmer and Finnick..have gone through a LOT together. They are TRULY trauma bonded and have been working on that bond about 7 years tbh. They have gone through a LOT and they went through a lot TOGETHER. They love each other and they DO respect each other, after all they've been through, they are life long friends. As they deserve.

I did hope it would rip your heart out, if for no other reason than I think it's fun to hear your reaction. I kid i kid but seriously the heart to heart HAD to happen. They had to make up from the whole "hahah no I didn't tell you about a whole rebellion" thing. And while she isn't happy about it, she can't hate him anymore. Not after what they've experienced together and also...because he DOES look pathetic with his little knots.

Cato with a MF gun. That can't even entirely be credited to me. That was honestly @ohhowwehavefallen sending me a tik tok that sent this into existence. She should get credit tbh.

Being back with weapons like..it's almost a comfort for them. It's how they were raised, it's like your favorite stuffed animal after not seeing it for a long time. This is what they know! Weapons! Kill! Enjoy treason! Glimmer has a bedazzled glock everyone watch out!

thank you thank you thank you my love! I am sorry this took me so long, I have been stressing MASSIVE amounts over these exam scores and it's disoriented me!

love you long time bb @lwveless

[steponmepinkjun]

How bout now?

Honestly the mood rn is happy spoopy season we love spoopy season the mood this month is 50% excitement bc I am finally scheduling my uterus-deletus surgery woohoo cannot fucking WAIT to yeet this goddamn useless organ out of my body, I don't need her she's giving us nothing, not only thta but I can't wait to not have to worry about being denied my meds since they can cause birth defects bc the US is now a forced birth hellstate, gonna fuckin YEET this bitch n be done w her 10evr I'm so fucking happy I cried at my Dr's appt ufhwufjahdn and but also mood 50% trepidation bc I am trying to write fic (NOBODY PERCIEVE ME EVEN U DONT PERCIEVE ME AS I TYPE THIS I AM RETIRED FROM FIC FOREVER AND I MEANT IT WHEN I SAID I WOULD NEVER WRITE FIC OF THE BOYFIES. I STILL MEAN IT, LOOK AWAY, I AM NOT WRITING BOYFIE FIC I am attempting to write boyfie fic) but like legitimately. This is my publicish coming out as being like going on five months sober lmfao bleh 🤪 hot girl shit 🤪 jfhwjdueiaj and tbh doing creative stuff is a lot harder now than it used to be, drunk me had soooo much creative genius she was so funny n so glam omg but like also she's dead bc I literally don't miss her so 🤷🏻‍♀️ OVERSHARE OVERSHARE OVERSHARE JGHWBFHRJAUFNSUHFNSJS thank u for asking my little kumquat

[lassieposting]

1,8,11,12,17 and 18 for eliza and Nefarian for the brotp game plz?

Send a number + a BROTP pairing for platonic headcanons!

1. What kind of places/situations do they hang out?

During the War, they mostly got to socialise at Mevolent's parties, but if they were to reconnect now, they'd mostly be stylish cafe people, meeting up for expensive froufrou coffees and a session of bitchy people-watching.

8. Would they ever agree to fake date or be a platonic plus one?

They'd go to parties together, sure! Eliza likes to make a splash, and showing up to like, the Requiem Ball, with Nefarian Serpine is going to yeet China right off her Most Notorious Attendee pedestal. They wouldn't fake date though. They're both attractive, flirty people who like badly thought out whirlwind affairs - they have no reason to want to look like they're off the market.

11. Imagine they're shopping for clothes together. How does it go?

They'd probably enjoy it, tbh.

Og!Serpine and Eliza would've had a great time - they were both very classy, elegant, well-dressed people. Og!Serpine liked the Victorian aesthetic, and I picture Eliza as very vintage-glam.

But Alt!Nef is from a dimension where fashions were totally different, and from what little I've seen of phase two, he seems to lean more towards casual clothes than Og!Serpine. I'm pretty sure he's wearing a trucker hat when he reveals himself to Skug? Like this man does not know what constitutes classy in this dimension whatsoever, and he lives in student housing, so that doesn't help. Eliza would judge him hard. Jeans? Oh dear, Nefarian, are you quite well? Have you given up on life?

But she'd also relish the opportunity to take him out and dress him up, get him some decent suits. Partly because she's quietly that kind of girl, she likes the makeover scenes in movies, but also because he'd owe her one.

12. Would they ever consider being roommates? Why or why not?

Nah. Partly because they're both 400+ and "roommates" was not even a concept for the vast majority of their lifetimes, but also because they're both promiscuous as hell, and having their own space is essential to being able to bring home your latest ill-advised hookup.

17. How do they react to each other's taste in music?

They don't like each other's music. But they're from the 1500s, so like. It's mostly snippy little comments about ever so slightly different styles of classical music that most people can't even tell apart - "What was Doofenschmirtz thinking using a lute for this piece?" "The lute is UNDERRATED!" - and they get really pedantic about it. Eliza also solidly thinks that no good music has been produced since the era of vaudeville and jazz clubs, while Nef thinks the music he hears on the radio is "intriguing", so they bicker about that too. There's no such thing as synth or autotune where he's from!

18. Have they ever cried in front of the other?

Yes, but not about anything serious. They're both backstabbing schemers, and they know to keep anything they don't want used against them close to the chest. But they've had like, a tipsy boo-hoo or two over petty relationship woes or someone they want but can't have, when they want to be the centre of attention for a bit.

[lorei-writes]

For the character bingo, I just must ask you about Asra and Masamune, tis my obligation to indulge you with your best boys but I'm also gonna throw Kenshin into the mix as also by obligation to myself ahdgskd 😌💜💜

YASSS BLORBOS FROM OUR SHOW GAME

Thank you, dear 👀👀👀

Masamune - Dragon (to his surprise) Tamed

Tbh, I was conflicted between deeper than he seems and done dirty by fans 😖 I find it that he's a fairly complex character on first glance (honestly, which of the boys aren't), but then the common trope to portray him as / the joke I see everywhere is that he's perpetuum horn-bile playboy machine 😹 And eeeh, I guess that humour is just not for me? In my personal opinion, he uses physical intimacy to cope with fear of dying too early and with fear of emotional intimacy.

I honestly love him so much, and I appreciate the fact that cybird shed some more light on his inner struggles in the Act II. My poor walking bag of anxieties 😭😭😭

Oh, also - PLEASE. PLEASE. LET THE ATTENTION BE SPREAD MORE EVENLY BETWEEN WARLORDS. I genuinely can't comfortably read the events with him, because there are too many and glam requirements are too high :""") And the writing of the events fluctuates too, sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse.

Asra - Magic Me Away

Listen. Listen. There is no way any other Arcana character can steal my heart away from him. This magician? This sweet little bean? He legit knocked on the doors to my heart and told Masamune to move a little to the left, because they've got to share now.

I love his design.

I love his story.

I cried while reading it.

HE LOVES THE APPRENTICE SO MUCH AND IT'S SO SWEET, MY POOR ANGSTY BABY.

He deserves happiness and HAPPINESS only.

Kenshin - The way leads onwards

First of all - imho, probably the coolest looking character in the entire game. (I'm sorry, Masamune). He's so extra, and for what??

But I think that some parts of how he's written... He is SO SMART and can be so empathetic and understanding. I wish there was more emphasis on this and just relationship with other warlords, rather than on making him a punchline of a joke.

Also, I enjoyed some of his event stories so much. But dude. Please. I can never get three endings now, if I have to choose between resting for Masamune or picking between Masa and Kenshin, I'm always going to pick Masamune 😭😭😭😭

[romancemoved]

raeee, hey there-- a question for you, sweets. I want you to recall those passions for your muse and tell me what about them is so special to you. what do you resonate with? what do you feel when you look at your muse? don't be scared to pour your heart out. thank you xoxo

✨ @mettatoniic right this way!!!

omg tbh vi’s a combination of life experiences. mine experiences, the experiences of other people that i know irl... listen i lived a wild life!!! one of my friends got sent to the emergency room because we dared her to smoke clover from her backyard. in middle school, i was a little promoter for a local goth band and i went to a lot of shows instead of getting paid so of course.... so i’ve seen a lot of shit and met a lot of weirdos. i grew up weird. like, my mom used to sit in the room and paint portraits of horses while listening to new age music. like the cries of whales and dolphins over flute riffs and drums. and more......

vi’s a manifestation of a lot of walked paths. paths i’ve walked and paths i’ve seen other people walk. to be able to reflect those experiences in writing is fun to me. i just like to have fun!!! if there’s something about vi, there’s probably a base in reality that reflects it. like of course vi has borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, c-ptsd... but i, too, am a fellow crazy. me and him, being in a mental hospital solidarity!!!

that’s my secret to vi being relatable despite him living such a crazy, glamorous life. he’s also a hodgepodge of stuff i’ve loved over the years. i’m an avid collector of 80s and 90s anime. some 2000s. a lot of rare shows and comics, especially. a lot of people have told me that vi gives them such nostalgia and it kinda helps that i lived through those eras and experienced everything pop culture had to offer.

to me, virote represents a quintessential post 9 / 11 millennial. hes on the tail end of the generation, as am i. <: ) and i want to capture that feeling. the feeling of someone that was a teenager in the bush years in america. assimilating to a country in absolute turmoil. from a shitty economy, to escapism through reality television, through club culture. coming into adulthood when obama was president and reeling from that.

seeing the glitz and glam of 2000s escapism disappear into the plodding, depressive doldrums of a trump presidency as he really started coming into adulthood. i dont think enough people realize that being a millennial in the 2000s that was really in tune with mainstream culture or any type of counterculture, was a really unique time. there’s really nothing else like it. y2k, punk, high brow pop... etc .

i always did want virote to be the mirror of someone who came to america during an odd time as a millennial.

everyone i knew in high school got hooked on adderall and picked up meth for fun temporarily. but we all listened to ke$ha and danced on top of cars so it was cool!

[kendallstewy]

A bit late on posting this, sorry my dear, but I was tagged by @woozapooza to list nine comfort films! Only the first two are in order 😊

1. Maurice (1987) - as a tiny queer 14 year old who had no friends - and I mean that quite literally, NONE - this movie was my best friend. I watched it every Sunday to help give me courage for a new week of loneliness. It’s my favorite gay film of all time. I’ve had the god tier pleasure of interacting with Rupert Graves a few times and I have part of a tweet he sent me (“have faith in yourself Xx”) tattooed on my wrist. Sixteen years later, watching this movie still feels like coming home. Literally my warm blanket movie. My heart bursts and I feel reborn. Is there a love that is literally all-consuming? Yeah, I have it for this film.

2. Velvet Goldmine (1998) - here’s another film that feels like coming home when I watch it. I first saw it when I was 17 and it helped me come out as bi to my mom. It got me into glam rock, which was another formative queer thing that helped keep me sane in my loneliness. Watching it obsessively and listening to the soundtrack on repeat were lifesavers. I felt so free. I can’t overstate the impact it had on me. I wore glitter nail polish just to remind myself of it. I was able to interact with the producer once and she kindly retweeted my thanks to her for helping make the film.

3. Les Amants (The Lovers) (1958) - this is my favorite French film, bar none. There is a very slow burn up to a part that is one of the most romantic bits of any film I have EVER seen. Seriously it is drenched in romance and I just bask in it. It feels like it was tailor made for me to feel like I’ve ascended to a higher plane where true love exists. I love watching it alone in the dark, the atmosphere it creates is magical. So soothing, just heavenly.

4. Whisper of the Heart (1995) - this is my favorite non-Miyazaki-directed Studio Ghibli film and definitely in my top 3 Ghibli films. I watched it again this week and it was so calming. It’s one of the best slice-of-life films ever and I adore the characters, especially the heroine. She is very much like me as a young teen and actually still really relatable to me at (almost) 30. It is so uplifting and I feel so at peace living in her world for two hours. The ending is pure joy.

5. God’s Own Country (2017) - another top notch gay film that is really spiritually nourishing. There’s a scene that’s not even a sex scene, it’s just kissing while shirtless, and it’s breathtaking, I think about it at random moments during the day. It’s one of the most tender things ever. In general I adore the two men and the journey Josh O’Connor’s character goes on in his self-growth, it’s really moving. I did love him in The Crown but to me he’ll always be Johnny. I could legit watch this every day.

6. The Lure (2015) - I went through a long period of watching this at one AM every night for weeks. Despite the tragic elements, I feel so happy when I watch the mermaid night club singers perform and then eat men’s hearts. The whole movie is like a patchwork quilt of styles and emotions but it never feels uneven and I love slipping into that crazy world and going along for the ride. It feels so natural to settle into the nuttiness. Also I have a mega crush on one of the lead actresses, so there’s that.

7. The Happy Prince (2018) - again despite the tragic elements, this is another one that I watched every one AM for weeks in order to fight loneliness and find solace in the presence of Oscar Wilde. I saw this in the theater and it was a transcendent experience. It’s visually gorgeous and written in a way that’s so stimulating to my mind without taxing me. I have loved Rupert Everett since I saw Another Country (1984) when I was about 15 and so seeing him give this most magisterial of performances is thrilling. It’s like swimming in beauty.

8. Rocketman (2019) - I saw this five times in the theater. Literally. Five. And I cried. I’m not even a particular Elton John fan although I do love all the songs they used, but the narrative of trying to find self-love without consistently sabotaging yourself is so relatable to me that I feel so connected to it. And of course the acting and music and dancing and costumes are so much fun. I always watch it in front of our biggish screen tv with the volume turned up high so I can pretend I’m in the theater. It’s both exciting and healing which is a potent combo.

9. My Own Private Idaho (1991) - god this is such a sad movie tbh but I feel like River Phoenix’s character is my best friend and I love spending time with him. He’s my favorite actor of all time and he is god tier levels of majestic pathos and gravitas in this. One of the best performances I have ever seen. Ever. I feel so close to his character who wants something so badly and is willing to literally take to the road to find it. It paradoxically shatters and heals me at the same time. Keanu Reeves is fun in it too and he and River are one of my favorite screen duos ever. I watch this every Halloween in memoriam of River.

Thanks Wooza ❤️ I tag literally all my followers. ���️

[flying-elliska]

So I watched Happiest Season (livewatch with @beeexx my fave penguin enthusiast 🐧🐧🐧)

Overall I enjoyed it ? But it's not the light-hearted romcom it's been promoted as.

Spoilers !

The positive:

- Kristen Stewart, het icon of my teen years, is just glowing in this, like she is so happy to be finally playing gay lmao. This is really her story. Her character, Abby, is by turn charming, adorable, funny, and relatably awkward. Also, her glam butch style is just A++. And she has good chemistry with her co-star - they feel and behave like a believable couple (which has been a problem with actresses playing wlw in the past where you could really see they weren’t fully into it.) They were super cute together. This still feels cathartic somehow, like Bella Swan decided to go see a therapist instead of going off the deep end and finally figured herself out.

- I loved that this isn't the "token gays in a sea of straightness" trope. Abby's BFF is gay and really funny - and this particular trope feels a lot less annoying when the gay BFF is there for another gay person so it's more like queer solidarity instead of him being a prop for a straight person's development. Him trying to play straight was just hilarious. Aubrey Plaza plays Harper's (the other part of the main couple) ex and she is just great, seems a bit shady at first but her helping Abby out was just...so compassionate. Also she is probably the hottest character in this movie let's be real. And I loved the bit where she takes her to a drag bar (the straight bar where Harper goes to seems so drab in comparison fjfj)

- There were some funny, classic rom-com shenanigans moments - the sneaking around, getting stuck in the closet, etc...the creepy twins were quite funny too, if infuriating. My favorite was definitely Jane, the overlooked kooky sister, who "has been writing a fantasy book for the past ten years" (I can relate) and whose overachiever family has pretty much given up on her (I can also relate). 

-Ngl the whole ‘rich people being fake and neurotic and making everything x100 times more difficult than it has to be’ bit felt very realistic. Like, I’ve met those people, and they are just as annoying in this movie as they are in real life. Also a very realistic rep of having to fake who you are in a town full of fake people pleasers and over achievers (even if it was stressful to watch lmao) and how Christmas can bring out the worst in people.

- Even though it has issues, the ending was very heartfelt and I definitely cried. This movie is just really raw and sad in some parts, but in a way that felt genuine and you can tell that a lot of queer people were involved in making it. It really touches on this deep seated anguish of possibly being rejected, of not knowing whether your family is going to accept you or not, on desperately trying to pass because you’re afraid of change...I think a lot of that comes to the actors being really good, like all of them, and really acting their heart out. And the moment where the dad decides to forego a big donor/supporter because he doesn’t want to force his daugther to hide really touched me. I also really liked the part where the BFF talks about how everybody’s coming out journey can be different and it’s important to remember that, especially if you have the chance to come from a very tolerant background.

The Less Positive

- The movie has been criticized for being weirdly apolitical (for instance the dad is a mayor but we never learn anything about his actual political opinions) but tbh this is supposed to be a Hallmark-like holidays movie I think that’s kind of part of the genre to be in this sort of happy slightly tone-deaf bubble and I don’t think straight movies of this type get this sort of criticism so yknow i’m fine with that bit i guess not all queer movies should have to be deeply political (even tho yeah it’s still very homonormative and ‘all about family values’ etc etc)

- Most of the issues I have with this movie center around Harper, Abby’s love interest and the one who lies to her family about their relationship. Now, I think Mackenzie Davis is a really good actress. And I do feel sympathetic for the character. The movie really makes you understand all the pressure she’s under, how her parent’s love is conditional, all the public scrutiny, and why she behaves the way she does. And her finally pulling through made me cheer for her. However, there were a lot of moments in the movie where I was genuinely unsure if I should be rooting for Abby and her to stay together. She does a lot of things that are definitely deeply unhealthy and questionable and had me going ‘Abby pls run away while you still can’. I feel a lot of compassion for her. But I simply don’t think the movie gives us enough happy time with Abby and Harper for me to really want them to be together as a couple -they spend a big part of the movie being mad at each other. They should have given us more scenes with them at the start to really get a feel of who they are as characters and as a couple, so when it gets rough, we actually root for them to pull through. This is an issue a lot of mediocre romances have - they assume we will root for the characters just because they’re said to be in love. For me, that doesn’t really work. And even though the ending made me quite emotional (again, great acting) - as a romance, it doesn’t really work for me.

- I really liked the bit where the family realized they had been putting this pressure on each other to be perfect and as they shared all these secrets they finally came together as a family. But...honestly, the family started out as just so profoundly neurotic it felt a bit unbelievable (and their social circles felt like a nightmare). A bit like Abby and Harper’s relationship being all ok after Harper’s big change of heart. The whole ‘mom’s secret desire to do karate but it’s unlady-like’ being put on the same level as her daughter’s coming out had me rolling my eyes. And there is a forced coming out scene which I really really hate.

- I think what I am really tired of, is queer movies who center coming out so much, the anxiety of being accepted or not, etc. And who present coming out as this revolutionary process that is going to change everything immediately. In my experience, at least, it’s often a process of small inches, towards self acceptance, towards your family coming to terms and learning to be less unconsciously bigoted, sometimes good intentions, sometimes microagressions or being erased, etc etc. I also just really want queer stories and queer romances who are not centered on coming out, on ‘what will others/my family think’, who have shenanigans and tension based on other things, with characters who might struggle with self acceptance sometimes (or not) but who have other things going on as well and who are fuller characters. It’s about damn time. Until then, the movies we have will end up feeling a lot like a PSA for straight people.

Overall

I still think this is a pretty quality movie. Good acting, believable and often funny dialogue, good chemistry, etc. (And let’s be honest, the bar for wlw movies is uhhhh not very high.) I really enjoyed watching Kristen Steward play gay and have chemistry with pretty ladies. There was room for holiday gay movies (even tho I want to see more, with more diverse characters).

It feels like wish-fullfillment for a certain type of queer person - (upper) middle class, with parents who are...ambiguously accepting. It does transcribe well this tension of not really being to predict their reaction - and illustrates the importance of being very obviously accepting with your children - like tell them it’s okay for them to be gay from the start, even if they turn out to be straight - otherwise they will be left wondering if they’re not. It’s this fantasy that everything will turn out all-right after you come out, you will fit in your family better than before, your mistakes will be forgiven if you are earnest enough, and life can go on as usual but better. And it is sweet, and cathartic, in a way, even if not revolutionary.

But yeah, as a romance, I wasn’t entirely sold on it. And I think it was promoted as a lot more uplifting than it really was.

[madiiko12]

new york’s very own madison ‘madi’ ko was spotted on broadway street in chanel sneakers . your resemblance to kim chungha is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-first birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being obsessive , but also ambitious . i guess being a virgo explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be glittery eyes, dangling earrings, & chanel draped in pearls.  ( cisfemale & she/her) + ( kale, 20 , she/her , est. )

hi honeybuns !! im back and with child. there is a brief mention of an ed under the cut but i block it off with a tw start & end.    if you’d like to plot pls leave a like and i can dm you or hit you up on discord !! my discord is kale#3079  

BACKSTORY

haneul madison ko was born september 18, 1999 to two immigrant parents from S.K. her birth name is haneul, but she went by the name madison since it was easier to pronounce + madi began to almost detest her culture??

it was just that growing up she would sometimes get bullied for looking different at her school, for the way her packed lunches smelled/looked, the way people would stare if she spoke korean to her parents, how other kids would make fun of her english since she didn’t pick up on vocab/grammar as quickly since she didn’t practice at home with her parents. she just became SO insecure about it that she rejected her culture. she wouldn’t bring her mom’s food to school, if her mom ever forced her to take it she’d throw it away  and choose to starve instead. she wouldn’t speak korean back to her parents in public, barely even in private (which reeaaallly upset her parents). this also REALLY destroyed her korean language skills. she can understand still, but she can barely hold a basic conversation anymore.

as she grew up, and continued this sense of distancing herself from her culture, she ultimately distanced herself from her family. which left her feeling -  - alone often, even though it was all due to her own choices. in this loneliness, she found her escape in music. she would wear headphones constantly through the halls, in car rides, in her room when her parents yelled at her to turn the music down. she just loved music. she saved up the money her parents gave her whenever she worked at the nail salon (her parents owned it!!) to thrift an old keyboard. she became self-taught by trying to copy melodies of songs she’d listen to, thrifting piano lesson books, staying after school with the music teacher learning to play. sometimes she’d even skip lunch to sit in the chorus room with her choir director and play.

it’s not that she had a LACK of friends growing up, maybe just that she lacked a best friend. she had a lot of friends, but no one that she felt so connected to in the way she felt connected to music. perhaps, she was addicted to her loneliness.

she spent a lot of time playing the piano and dabbling in writing music that her grades started to fall (not that she was ever the BEST student) and her parents literally took away her piano. they said it was a waste of time because they wanted her to focus on doing well, so she could get into a good university, and then live a good life. music was just a distraction

but that didnt work

she would sneak out into the city to go to concerts and poetry readings. she’d sneak out and go to indie songwriters scenes while her parents thought she was at the library with one of her school friends

This underground scene had her full heart!! she was surrounded by likeminded people who just lived for music. she was hearing all of these incredible people who were all looking for their start. maybe not looking for anything at than just to sing their songs. tbh i think this was the point she was happiest. she was completely enveloped in music, just for the sake of music. There wasn’t any pressure, just music. Just the songs. she was wide eyed looking at this whole underground scene of artists. So maybe some plots from these underground charas?!

she’d perform some songs at karaoke nights and the indie sessions, and a producer took a keen interest in one of her songs. basically im kind of stealing halsey’s career start, but she posted a song Came in Close on SoundCloud and just blew up overnight. in the morning, she woke up to a record label asking her to fly to LA for a meeting.

and thus, Madison Ko began a career as Madi Ko where she’d release her debut album, Honey, a few months later. (DISCOGRAPHY HERE). her music is very 80s synth inspired!

new album that is most definitely CRJ’S EMOTION is coming soon...

PERSONALITY

right off the bat, madi is an absolute firecracker!! she’s loud, bursting with personality, has a lack of inhibitions that CHAOTICALLY mixes with her spontaneity

part of this is projecting her insecurities. she felt lonely as a child but doesn’t want to be seen as that to the world. it’s not so much a persona but an exaggeration of who she was. 

she likes to show off her glam bc it, once again, hides her insecurities. 

she just kind of is dramatic anymore

like everything about her

her persona as Madi Ko, upcoming popstar underdog, is like DUNKED in glitter, over the top stages and sets, draped in couture. basically her stages/outfits/dances/mvs are like Chungha’s but with Pale Waves and Carly Rae Jepsen VC. ex: 1, 2, 3, 4

also bc im obsessed with chungha’s famous diamond wink, IT’S GONNA BE MADI’S THING TOO. so basically madi has trended on twt a few times bc of her signature diamond wink bc she effing glues rhinestones and glitter under her eyes for performances !! she said fuck corneas !! ex: 1, 2, 3      ....god chungha is magical

so while madi is like a brand hypebeast n never shuts up, she can also get,,, easily annoyed. and heavily perceives ppl on first impressions despite that being the reason she felt misunderstood a lot growing up. 

definitely argumentative!!! will blow up arguments for no reason n then later questions why she made it such a big deal but cant own up to her mistakes

when she decides she doesnt like you, SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU. it’s done. bridge is burned, she’s not keen on second chances

fame has definitely given her a bit of an ego problem --- she’s a bit more aggressive, self-obsessed while intrinsically insecure, is too busy flaunting her material possessions and trendy life that she can...lose touch of reality. basically most of her high school friends cant stand her. HC that her high school bf broke up with her bc she was no longer was the madison ko he knew!!! so if anyone wants to be that ex lmk !!! she’s written songs about them!!!

definitely the type of girl who is so hype at a party, dancing in fallen confetti, standing on the fireplace mantle, but then midway realizes she’s lonely. sad at a party. 

ED TW STARTS!!!!!

....

she kind of always had body image issues growing up, but it was very off and on, but once she got signed and being by surrounded by cameras became normal she formed a full fledged ED. she’s passed out at concerts a few times bc of her ED, but they always brush it off as “not enough rest” or “she wasnt feeling well that day but pushed to perform anyway as to not disappoint the fans”

so feel free for ur muses to point it out !! she’ll get really defensive like “i eat i just work out a lot” and yeah it’s true she works out a lot but she...doesn’t really eat

it’s also one of the causes of her irritability ...

.....

END ED TW!!!!

idk why this is so long

always up for mischief! 

does love a good prank. asks weird hypotheticals 

is not scared of an ouija board

will get wasted off a few shots and drunk madi is UNSTOPPABLE 

one time drunk madi cried bc her siamese cat (MOCHI !!!) wouldn’t ever get to go to school and would never know chemistry..... the dramatics.....

she is sensitive and despises it. she does everything she can to not come across as sensitive

however, she’s so obsessive. so deep in feeling. when she feels something she FEELS it. when she is mad it boils through her. when she is in love it is all she knows. when she is sad it covers her like sweaters and blankets on rainy days. she doesn’t know how to half-feel. everything she feels stops her in her tracks.

HOWEVER she’s the most obsessive with her own insecurities — so in relationships she’s kind of known for tapping out early. she just gets scared and the fleetingness of her career and that she’s at her very core, lonely and disappointed in herself, makes her want to run away thinking that letting down her walls and being vulnerable could only be disappointing for her SO. so maybe she ghosted ur chara or gave some lame excuse

Kind of obsessed with how she’s perceived

terrified that at any moment her career could be thrown away, her deemed irrelevant, and she goes back to being Madison Ko, daughter of nail techs in Koreatown. and then her parents would have been right all along, music was a waste of time.

she’s just my little fallen angel who flew to the sun (fame) and it constantly eats away at her girlhood, at her heart.

anyways this is all i got rn <3 come love me sorry i kind of didn’t shut up this is long

WANTED CONNECTIONS

an ex from before she was famous who broke up with her because of how she changed!! PLEASE i have ideas for this. plus,,, you get a lot of songs about ur chara!!! could be from high school, maybe someone in the music scene she frequented before she was signed, anything!!

anothr ex/fwb/undefined relationship i’d love is one when she was first famous who just introduced her to everything. something like a whirlwind that was exciting and magical. she’s written songs about this person.

exes in general. 

hookups/fwb

romantic plots. pls i have songs who need meaning. friends to lovers, one sided (either way), slowburn, ANYTHING. love cruel summer plots, anything lover by tswift

PR relationships -- would LOVE one where she falls in love with the other despite how clearly defined they made their relationship

love triangles in general just get me going

best friend!!!! the one’s who know how the other feels just by looking at each other. they have countless sleepovers. tell each other everything. cry together on bathroom floors. pregame together. 

ex friends. for whatever reason -- maybe madi did smth shitty, maybe they did. maybe there was backstabbing, maybe madi sacrificed friendship for a career, maybe she made moves on their romantic partner/interest despite being fully aware. idk. gimme

People she knew from the underground/indie scene before they were famous!! they’d have bonded over their love for music, little indie dreams kind of vibe. just imagine a group of dreamers !! Would love if they made some kind of pact!!!

party friends

collabs !!

pranks. mischief. gimme

enemies. gotta cook up some drama, yknow

GIRL GANG. god i just want this so bad like make a girls dream come true

[hannafuckingsucks]

kiss, beloved, cute for the asks 🥺💕

Kiss : What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

oh man uuh... first thing that comes to mind is when @rogerseyeliner texted me one night, saying "whenever I'm wine drunk I remember how much I miss you" and uh not to be overdramatic but I cried a lil :')

Beloved : What do you love the most about yourself?

nothing I'm trash

I guess my open personality. i can talk to almost anyone and am quick to make friends. like.. if we have similar interests I will immediately adopt you as my new friend and there's nothing you can do to fucking stop me!!!!!! 🤡

Cute : What’s your aesthetic?

i don't have a specific one. but to name some: glam punk, chipped nailpolish, cigarette smoke and whiskey. not caring about anything. dancing barefoot on grass. screaming at night because you just feel like it. soft kisses and lipstick stains on skin but also heavy makeout session and hickeys. velvet flared pants but also ugly coloured 80s dad shirts. vans but also high heeled boots. black but also light pink. idk

it's all over the place tbh :)

[sunnysynthsunshine]

Q&A Tag

Tagged by @mercuryhymn

Rules: Tag whoever and answer the questions.

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

a lot of my shampoo is tropical fruit based stuff

What’s your aesthetic?

70s Punk,90s britpop,Classic Cinema,1980s in general,goth/2 tone/glam classic rock and basic softboy

What is your favorite time of day?

afternoon

What do you like most about the beach?

not a fan of the beach tbh,I like the relaxing on the sand and eating ice-cream parts 

What do you worry about constantly?

the control of my emotions,empathy/sympathy levels,how I appear to others,my health,my sanity (in terms of separating life from fiction and philosophy and mysticism from psychology)  and my social life 

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

I don’t cry often but there’s quite a few songs that have made me sad like the ending song to rocky horror and I’m here from the cartoon Steven Universe

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

listen to calm music or music that makes you dream positively 

like lo-fi hip hop,vaporwave,classic rock,britpop or 80s new wave

What are some things that make you tear up?

the ending of Wreck it ralph 2/bo rhap  made me cry, other than that mental health stuff, trauma recollections and when I remember a lot of people I like are unfortunately dead 

What is your favorite from each of these five senses?

Smell

Flowers, Fairy liquid, Chicken, Chocolate,Chips,Cheese,biscuits and buttered bread

Touch

Laptop, Phone, pencil, pen, headphones, sketchbook, a hand of someone I’m close to,soft clothes,blankets,water and pebbles

Taste

Chicken,Chips,Rice,Burgers,Pasta,Crisps,Oreo’s etc.

Hear

Music,,animal calls,a lot of voices,synth,good guitar riffs and ska saxophones

Sight

I love being able to see all the details of a picture,meme or portrait, because either the pure beauty makes me swoon with happiness or if the photo is of good quality it gives perspective as I can imagine myself in the place or world the photo was taken in,even if it’s just the look of my fast food order or of the extensive collection of rik and Bowie photos I have

What is one alternate reality you’d like to live in?

the boy band and rock and roll era of the 60s, the punk-goth disco filled 70s and the alternate realm of the 1980s where I am a successful cinematographer, production manager and director working with the comic strip presents crew,Queen,David Bowie amongst others,possibly taking photos with them and attending Live Aid and watching the performances,expressing my androgyny through part time-modelling and a short lived-punk rock career while astral projecting with Stevie nicks and kate bush and going to concerts and house parties with rik while collaborating with Freddie mercury on theatre projects,bowing down to Diana everytime I visit,being in the land of san Junipero in Black Mirror~  also the reality where I’m a contestant on Drag Race is pretty sweet too~

What are some troubles you face daily?

mild sensory issues,confusion with my social life,delusional-hallocination thoughts,Past regrets,extreme mood swings,anti-social emotions and feelings and intrusive thoughts 

What is one scene in a book that’s made you really sad?

something in Dawn French’s book or most of Lily Allen’s book 

Say something to all your followers

You are all amazing,talented,fantastic,funny people who can change the world 

Five most recent followers

rocky horror,drag race and Queen enthusiasts (and one offline mate)

Biggest fans/Favorite Blogs/Users

@autisticednygma @mercuryhymn @zombierose3 @frogpuppet  @bastardmilk @asongthatsingsitself @ostpunk @inspiremexxxx @northern-irish-lefty @bbc-made-me-do-it @obsessivenostalgicbaby @funkydeaky @smashing-anarchist-poet @comedy-cookie @not-now-silent-singer @notdoogadooga @notyauch @scummettes @the-mad-march-hare42 @thephilosophicaljew @clueingforbeggs @becausevyvyan @sweetlychaoticpeanut @sweetrevengeofthekilljoys @jokerteeth @morby

and anyone else I forgot to tag

[surveysonfleek]

1208.

Eyeliner. Yes or no? only if i’m going for the ‘glam’ look.  Who’s the first person you talk to via text in the morning? usually my boyfriend but he slept over last night. Was that person your significant other? not today, it was a friend.

Does it take a lot for you to cry, or does it happen easily? it takes a lot i think. What was the last reason you cried? i was just upset.

What’s hurting you right now? nothing.

Do you have someone who you can tell anything? yes. Do you have a boyfriend? yes.

If so, is he your best friend? yes. What’s the one thing you regret more than anything? my career choices. Do you remember important dates? yes. What’s some lyrics from a song that means a lot to you? i can’t think of one right now. Do you like vanilla? i love the smell of it! Do people who judge bother you a lot? it depends how they judge. if they make assumptions without giving the other person a chance then that’s really shitty. What about arrogance? haaaaate arrogance.   Do you tan easy? it’s a 50/50 chance of tanning or sunburn for me tbh. Do you think light blue and light orange go together? hmm it could. Do you have two of the same pair of pants? yes. Do you know anyone with Type 1 Diabetes? no. Ever been so happy you cried? yes! Are you familiar with John Mayer? yes, only his old stuff though. Has someone ever pressured you to do something you didn’t want to? yes. Who gives the best advice? my parents. Do you have a lot of pictures of you and your friends? back in the days, yes. i used to bring a camera with me all the time. You’re sad. What do you do? sleep it off. Once upon a time there was this perfect guy. Who is he? no idea who you’re talking about. If you could say something to someone who hurt you, what would you say? nothing. What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? not sure tbh.

Who do you usually see in your dreams? i never remember my dreams. when i do it always really boring real life stuff.

[rosa-e-luna]

I was tagged by my gorgeous friend @amitafix​!! Thank you for the tag my love!! 

Nickname: 

Aster Moon is an alias I use on tumblr, insta, pixiv but it’s not like i’m trying to hide my real name so here are the nicknames my family and friends call me-

My younger brother and one of my beautiful cousin call me Nina it’s a cute childish nickname that children call me when they can’t say my name. Sadly though youngest brother is recently calling me by my actual name and he know’s I don’t like it because it only reminds me that he’s not going to be a kid anymore!! One thing’s for sure my cousin is the only one who still calls me that since we we’re kids, for someone who is so mature to say my name in such a childish manner should be illegal!!

Kari is what most of my family and friends call me but honestly I think I always smile when I hear one of my oldest cousin say it, it has a nice ring to it! Maybe it’s just because I respect her so much that  just hearing her call my name make’s my whole day! I’d say more but maybe for another time~

This one yes it’s an insult from my dear younger brother but it’s alright I call him Fatass too. We don’t even have to be having a sibling fight for us to call each other that, it could just be: 

Bro - “Hey, Fatass I bought you something from that show you like so much”

Me- “Have fun on your date, Fatass.”

Tbh we both react to it...so I guess you can call it a nickname....

Gender: 

When I hear Female I think of ‘Good looking’ ‘Keeping up appearances’ ‘Competition’ because since I was a kid I can remember my Aunt’s trying to out due each other for any occasion and for a simple cook out I would hear the words ‘You look so pretty’ ‘How beautiful’ ‘So sexy’ and of course the nasty remarks everyone whispered about each other ‘Can you believe what she’s wearing’ ‘she looks so bad’ ‘How ugly’ and it didn’t stop there. My younger female cousins and I were of course dragged into this competition our parent’s created, I would remember crying to my mom that I didn’t want to wear my hair up in pig-tails because I said my head hurt or bracelets because I found them annoying I was uncomfortable but comfort meant nothing compared to being called ‘cute’ I don’t remember how young I was but I perfectly remember my mother telling me ‘Don’t cry, it’s only for awhile you have to put up with it, you want to be cute like your cousin’s, right? You can take these off when you go to sleep.’ And I did put up with it but of course I got tired of it again. In elementary I asked my mom if could not wear a dress but shorts and a t-shirt something comfy oh but was that a mistake, she automatically got after me and shouted at me, I’m pretty sure she said something about ‘don’t you wan to look nice like your cousin’. I wore the dress and honestly I was scared to even ask again until middle school when one of my classmates commented that she had never seen me in pants, I kept wondering why don’t I? Some girl’s were them to school, so why don’t I? I had them and I wore them when I was at home but god forbid I ever wore them out or when company came over, I was so caught in my thought’s for a while, asking myself why until I finally came to understand I don’t wear them because I look cuter in a dress, no so that I could look cuter in a dress than everyone else and then it hit me, I DON’T CARE. I don’t care if my cousin looks cute and I don’t, I don’t care what everyone thinks. So then when my mom told me to change out of jeans and into a dress and put my hair up to look cute because company was coming later that night I told her I didn’t want to, of course she told me what don’t you want to be cute like your cousin? And with all the courage my middle school self mustered up I told her, I don’t care. It was mostly a whisper but my mother heard it, very well because right after that she slapped me and I honestly don’t remember what she said afterwards and before I knew it I was in my room, I didn’t cry I was just shocked and I was trying so hard to figure out what was so bad that I did. You see I was raised that if I did something bad my mom would of course get after me and tell me what I did wrong and told me never to do it again, and if I did a second time she would take something of mine until she thought I learned my lesson, but if I did a third time I would get spanked three times on my bottom and even now I don’t see anything wrong with it, but I was a good kid I didn’t cause a lot a trouble unless my brother started a fight with me and then both of us would get spanked but I’ve never been slapped before that day. I at the time thought if someone was slapped it was that they did something horrible, I plain out saw it as oh they’re bad. So I repeat I wasn’t crying, I was shocked, what did I do wrong, am I really that bad? I was breaking down and I didn’t understand what I did wrong but my thoughts were cut short, my mother walked in and she apologized for slapping me and was crying she realized that what she did was stupid she told me and asked why I didn’t want to dress up nicely and I told her I just wanted to be comfortable and she said she can understand that but what if my aunt’s or cousin’s said something and I awkwardly repeated I don’t care and my mom all she could was okay and I cried like a brat because it was okay, it was okay to be comfy and not care what everyone thought. That night was the first time I ever felt out of place in my own home, while my aunt and her daughter came over looking like goddess I wore a simple Minnie mouse t-shirt, blue jeans, with my hair down and simple flats, I clearly remember my aunt asking if I was sick and my mom saying no she’s not and cut that conversation short. Oh did I feel so awkward but when my brother came and asked me and my cousin to play outside and we asked her to climb a tree with us (because we were damn monkey’s that enjoyed climbing anything we could get our hands on) and she answered she couldn’t because she’s wearing a dress my day went from being the worst day ever to the best day of my life, such simple words made me realize i’m comfortable and I really don’t care what others think because I’m not glammed up. From that day on I wore what ever I wanted, don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I don’t wear dresses I do I glam up and I look good if I do say so myself and I do but because I want to not because I’m trying to one up one of my cousin’s at their own wedding (that did happen oh was there drama). So by saying i’m female I don’t want to think competition, I may not care what I wear but that word does pop up when I hear female and I just one day don’t want to think that when I say- 

(i apologize for ranting so much I just hit memory lane and I turned a  simple answer into a heavy one).

Star Sign: 

I’m not into horoscopes so much but I’m aware I’m an Aries, is Star Sign the same as Zodiac? (is that a stupid question, i’m sorry I never heard someone say star sign before) 

Height: 

I stopped growing in the last year of my elementary school, what the hell happened I used to be taller than everyone....  5ft. flat.

Sexuality: 

I can’t say I’m straight, gay, or bi because when I like someone I don’t worry about their gender If I like someone it’s for who they are, if I like you as a person then it’s a done deal. I’m aware that there a lot of different sexuality and I respect that but can’t I just say I like people? A person without being put in a category, like does it matter? I’m just gonna say I’m attracted to people with by their personalities. 

Hogwarts House: 

Apparently I’m in Ravenclaw.

Favorite Animal: 

I love all animals even the wrinkly naked ones.

Number of blankets:

I have a high body temperature so it really depends on the whether, because I can go from one thin simple blanket to three heavy thick ones.

Dogs or cats:

I adore both but I have my baby girl for now!

Dream Trip: 

I would like to visit all my friends I made online, one day!! I’ve made such wonderful friends I’d love to meet you all!!

Favorite Songs of the Week:  

If we have each other - Alec Benjamin

Dream Job:

Illustrator (boy do I need more practice)

Things you find comforting:

Creating new worlds and drawing them out. (Maybe one day I’ll post my owb creations instead of fan art..though not any time soon..sorry.)

I am tagging @silvertonguelover @yupingsan @xnatiix @celisart

You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to I just thought it was fun :)