#I couldn't find a list so I had to be the change I wished to see in the world

[fort-cozy-mcblanket]

As of The Change Constant, Sheldon and Amy have had coitus 12 times. But do we know all 12 times? 

The Shamy Coital Count: What We Know, What We Don’t, and What We Can Wildly Speculate

1. Amy’s 36th Birthday The Opening Night Excitation

Date: December 17th, 2015 Location: Amy’s bed in her apartment #314

Obviously we all know the first time. Sheldon skipped the advance screening of Star Wars: The Force Awakens to be with Amy on her birthday, and coitus was his gift to her. It is implied that it lasted for approximately the runtime of the movie, which is 2 hours and 16 minutes. When they are done, Sheldon says he looks forward to her next birthday when they will do it again, to which Amy agrees. 

2. Amy’s 37th Birthday The Birthday Synchronicity

Date: December 17th, 2016 Location: Apartment 4B, most likely on Sheldon and Amy’s shared bed

Per their verbal agreement after their first time, Sheldon and Amy do not have coitus again until Amy’s next birthday. Sheldon wakes Amy up right at midnight for it, however they are interrupted by Bernadette going into labor. They do not end up doing it until after the birth and after returning from a trip to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Harry Potter roleplay may or may not have been involved. 

3. Amy Leaves for Princeton The Gyroscopic Collapse

Date: May 6th, 2017 (estimated) Location: Sheldon and Amy’s shared bed in apartment 4B

Amy is offered a summer research fellowship at Princeton, and they break their rule of only having coitus on her birthday to do it once before she leaves. This is the first time we hear Sheldon refer to it as “lovemaking.” They fold their clothes neatly before they do it. Leonard, Penny, and Raj hear them going at it from out in the hallway of the apartment building. The exact date this occurs is uncertain, but if we assume the episode’s airdate of May 4th, 2017, to be the date at the start of the episode, they have coitus 2 days later on May 6th, 2017. 

4. Amy’s 38th Birthday The Celebration Reverberation

Date: December 17th, 2017 Location: Unoccupied bedroom in Howard and Bernadette’s house

Back to tradition, the next time they have coitus is on Amy’s birthday. It almost didn’t happen, as the day prior they both got food poisoning from the Little House on the Prairie-inspired frontier dinner Sheldon prepared. They were still sick that morning, but felt good enough later in the day to attend Halley’s first birthday party. At the party, while everyone else is distracted by the baby, Sheldon and Amy jump in the inflatable bounce house and then find an unoccupied bedroom for their own celebration. This is the first known time they do it as an engaged couple and the first known time they do it outside of one of their own bedrooms. 

5. Wedding Night The Bow Tie Asymmetry/The Conjugal Configuration

Date: May 12th, 2018 Location: Hotel room outside of Legoland California

Per The Athenaeum Allocation, we know Sheldon and Amy got married on May 12th. Nothing beyond the wedding ceremony is shown in The Bow Tie Asymmetry, but when we see them again in The Conjugal Configuration they are just waking up the next morning. Sheldon confirms that they consummated. Apparently Sheldon made Lego snapping sounds during the consummation. 

6. Honeymoon in New York The Conjugal Configuration

Date: May 15th, 2018 Location: Hotel room in New York City

Sheldon and Amy get into an argument over Sheldon’s need to schedule their coital encounters, and this comes to a head while they are on the Nikola Tesla tour. Later, they reach a compromise and decide that Sheldon can make a schedule and just not tell Amy about it. He plans to create an algorithm that will generate a pseudo-random schedule to accomplish this, and Amy’s explanation of why it cannot be a true random schedule excites him so much, they rush back to the hotel so she can explain it to him again naked. 

7. Three Weeks Ago The Donation Oscillation 

Date: January 19, 2019 (estimated) Location: Unknown, but most likely their shared bed in apartment 4B

When Leonard goes to apartment 4B to get away from Penny, who was trying to seduce him, Amy asks him why he is trying to avoid having sex. Sheldon, mistakingly thinking the question was directed at him, says they just did it three weeks ago. The exact date this occurred is uncertain. Based on the airdate and events of the episode, they had this conversation on February 9th, 2019. Three weeks prior would be Saturday, January 19th, 2019. 

Because this is a seemingly insignificant date, this could be one of Sheldon’s randomly scheduled sessions. It is important to note, though, that this does fall around the events of the Confirmation Polarization, where their super-asymmetry theory is proven by Drs. Pemberton and Campbell and they decide to fight them for the Nobel Prize. Perhaps they made love to celebrate that their theory got proven? Or as a physical manifestation of their commitment to either win the Nobel together or not at all? Something to think about. 

8 & 9. The Avengers Trailer The Change Constant

Date: December 7th, 2018 or March 14th, 2019 (estimated) Location: Unknown, but most likely their shared bed in apartment 4B

When Penny says Sheldon has had sex almost as many times as she has fingers, Sheldon corrects her and says it was more by two, thus bringing the grand total up to 12. He then goes on to say it was because of the Avengers trailer. The dialogue is a little ambiguous, but this implies that those two extra times are both because of the trailer. I’m going to go ahead and count them both here, because that is my interpretation and also because I think it’s funny that seemingly the first time they go two rounds is because Sheldon got too excited about a movie trailer release. 

Anyway, most likely Sheldon is referring to Avengers: Endgame, which hit theaters April 26th, 2019. The first trailer was released on December 7th, 2018, which potentially puts this prior to the previous list entry. However, considering this the events of the Change Constant take place in October 2019 (due to the Nobel ceremony taking place in December every year and this episode being set two months prior to that), it’s a little strange that Sheldon would bring up an example from so long ago. It’s possible too that it could have been the release of the second Endgame trailer on March 14, 2019, although that still is quite some time ago. (Unsure about any subsequent trailers.) Then again, perhaps Sheldon just knew that Penny was unaware of these two instances in particular, eidetic memory and all that.

---

So, that brings us up to 9 confirmed coital encounters. What about the other 3? 

Well, I have some suggestions . . .

10. Amy’s 39th Birthday

Date: December 17th, 2018 Location: Unknown

Although Amy was not given a birthday episode in season 12, I feel very confident in saying this was one of the missing instances. It’s their tradition, after all. In the timeline of the show, this would fall somewhere between the VCR Illumination and the Paintball Scattering, so while they’re still working on their super-asymmetry paper, before it was published. 

11. Honeymoon Round Two

Date: May 14th - May 20th 2018 (estimated) Location: Hotel room in New York City

This is less of a sure thing than Amy’s birthday, but I still think it is likely that they did it another time while away on their honeymoon. Actually, I originally was counting their arrival in New York as a confirmed coital encounter, as Sheldon says they can either make love or steam their wizard robes once the bellman leaves them alone in their room. I ended up removing it as the dialogue is just ambiguous enough that I can’t say for sure, plus when they get back from the Harry Potter play they are wearing the same clothes and the bed looks untouched. I could see Sheldon wanting to remake the bed after sex, but putting back on the same clothes that they assumedly also were traveling in earlier? In any case, if not on their arrival, I think they could have found at least one more time to do it before leaving, especially considering Sheldon originally scheduled multiple rounds for them. It’s unclear exactly how long their honeymoon was, but I assume it would be for at least a week, hence the date range. 

12. Randomly Scheduled Session

Date: Unknown but between May 21st, 2018 and early-middle October 2019 Location: Unknown

I know this isn’t terribly exciting, but the final time was likely due to the pseudo-random schedule Sheldon said he was going to create. Assuming he created one at all, it would almost have to be, as there’s only one other instance that could qualify as part of the schedule (the “three weeks ago” one discussed earlier). Clearly the dates are pretty spread out, so whatever algorithm he created must be set to generate dates at a fairly low frequency. But you could also disregard my additional honeymoon suggestion and say the remaining 2 were from the schedule. 

Other opportunities that I think are less likely but still possible:

The Nobel announcement - This could have worked except remember that the announcement came in the very early hours of the morning and then they still went to work. Would they have had time to make love and still get some sleep in? Uncertain.

Wedding anniversary - Because the last two episodes had to skip ahead in time, Sheldon and Amy’s first wedding anniversary is not mentioned, but this does seem like a likely time for them to do it. 

Valentine’s Day - They never had coitus on Valentine’s Day before but there’s no reason they couldn’t start.

Amy’s return from Princeton - Seems like a great way to welcome Amy home and get reacquainted, but I do get the impression that Sheldon was still more or less sticking to the birthday tradition at this point with only the one exception before she left. 

---

So, now that we’ve covered all that, where do we go from here?

The Future of Shamy Coitus

Sheldon and Amy started out having sex only once a year, but the number has been increasing. Here’s the information above placed into a handy graph:

I made some executive decisions for the dates we are unsure on. For the Avengers trailer instance, I split the 2 rounds between the 2 possible dates, and for the unknown 12th time, I placed it in 2019. 

Now, this is just for the 12 times Sheldon mentioned as of October 2019. The year wasn’t over, and I personally believe they manage a few more times before it ends. In particular: 

Make up coitus when Sheldon returns to the apartment after the Change Constant

Celebratory coitus after the Nobel Prize ceremony

Amy’s 40th birthday

So here’s a new graph:

Again, this is just speculative. 

I would like to think it continues to increase for a few years, but perhaps that’s wishful thinking on my end. At the very least, I think it’s safe to say they continue the tradition of birthday coitus for Amy, and so it never drops down to zero. 

Keep in mind, we know from Young Sheldon that Sheldon and Amy have children. How this affects their sex life is hard to say. Would the count jump way up when they’re trying to conceive? Would it drop down significantly while the children are young? Would Sheldon continue using his randomly scheduled coitus algorithm once they have a family? Would they need it?

No one knows, but perhaps as new episodes of Young Sheldon continue to air, we can get a better idea. It remains to be seen. But here’s to hoping!

---

[finniestoncrane]

Virginal vault dweller reader you say?? I'd eat that up (and so would Cooper, heh) but seriously I would read the hell out of that if you're up for it <3

Different Up Here

Cooper Howard x Fem!Reader, word count: 6.3k anon thank you lmao i had already started drafting this, so vault dweller reader isn't quite a virgin but they are definitely inexperienced and have never known pleasure like the kind that cooper can offer 🤎 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: power imbalance, dubious consent because once you've said yes to cooper you can't change your mind, overstimulation, crying, oral sex, fingering, instructional, full penetration babiessss i realised i never tag that shit but yeah it's in here lmao, cumming inside, no protection, sweet coop afterwards but only briefly

If anyone else had asked you in that moment how you were, you couldn't have answered accurately without any hint of sarcasm and irritation. You were being worn down, like buildings by the sands of the desert. Each little molecule of your optimism being torn away from you, painful like plucking a hair. But when Cooper asked you, you tried your best to push down your knee jerk response.

"Let's see, shall we? Since leaving the vault a month ago, bravely in search of resources and supplies for my friends, I have killed, maimed, and eaten things I hope to never think of again. I'm in a constant cycle of very, very stressed and then very, very bored where there is no happy medium between fearing for my life and wishing for death. And oh, by the way, I'm sweating buckets the whole time because it's deathly fucking warm. Thank you for asking, Cooper!"

Instead, you shrugged and offered him at least a partial truth.

"It sounds silly... but I'm kind of bored."

A dry chuckle passed over Cooper's lips.

"Heh, that's a new one for out here."

Sensing an opportunity to at least get some conversation out of him, you sat up on the rusty bed frame, your body sinking into the almost entirely flattened mattress as you crossed your legs and did your best to get Cooper to talk more than a sentence at a time.

"Really? I would have thought you'd be bored a lot, especially when there's no raiders, or mirelurks, or scavengers, or feral ghouls, or super mutants, or roving gangs of-"

"See, this is why I'm never bored. Always somethin' or someone to be killin'."

"But what about like... now? When there's nothing else to do. There's no magazines, no books, no TV."

You watched as Cooper turned from you with a slight smile. You knew the one, the familiar grin that meant you'd divulged some information about your life in the vaults, something he always found so amusing. It was your naivety, your optimism. He was endlessly fascinated by it, as though listening to you talk about it reminded him of something he had before.

That fascinated you. It made you want to stay around him, the way he listened silently as you talked about the old films that were on the holotapes, the food that was still fresh and available, the music you could hear whenever you wanted to, not reliant on some two-bit radio host. He paid attention to you. And any time his deep, brown eyes focused on your lips it made your heart flutter in an admittedly unexpected manner.

Remembering that feeling, you tried again, hoping that your next approach might be something that interested him a little more than just conversation.

"You know how we used to pass time in the vaults?"

Over the sound of the evening breezes that whipped up the sand you could still hear Cooper sigh before he spoke.

"Now if you tell me that you wanna go out there again tonight to find an old blast radius board... well I am just going to have to shoot you."

You laughed at what you hoped was a joke and waved him off, despite the fact that he was still turned away from you, unable to see your gesture as he tried ignoring you in what you assumed was the hope that you might shut up and leave him alone.

"No, no no no no no. Just..."

The lump in your throat felt like it was about to choke you, so you swallowed the clump of nerves quietly, your voice trembling as you finished your sentence.

"... fooling around... y'know?"

Cooper turned to face you. You had piqued his interest, and you couldn't help but show the giddy glee on your face, the smallest smile crossing your lips as your eyes widened. But his words wiped away all hope that you had garnered in that short span of time.

"Oh... oh darlin'."

He laughed a little, each little sound of the short, sharp giggle like a slap to the face.

"I don't think you're ready for that at all."

You raised an eyebrow, defiant, irritated, and keen to know how he thought he had you pegged so quickly. You'd never talked about anything like that with him before. Was he assuming that you were a virgin based on how you behaved around him alone? Maybe he figured that the lack of flirting on your part was down to a complete lack of experience, when in reality, it was because every flirtatious quip he threw your way made you so nervous and flustered you felt like you might throw up.

"How come I'm not ready? I mean, I've... I've done stuff... I've done it!"

"The fat you're not saying it how it is makes me think that you are absolut-"

"I've had sex, Cooper. I've fucked before. I've been fucked."

Blinking off the irritation at being interrupted by you, Cooper pushed up the brim of his hat and stared directly at you, as though he was examining your, to see if you would stand up for yourself any further.

"By who? One of your little buddies underground? Fucking like little bunnies? I don't think that qualifies you, sweetheart."

"Why? Sex is sex..."

You said it with such confidence. As if you really knew. As if you hadn't spent your teenage years practising on your hand, holding a pillow close, lining up for that one girl in the vault who would sell practice kisses for extra bubble-gum. You'd had sex before, of course. You weren't a liar. Just because you'd only ever done it once didn't render it nonfactual. Just because it had only lasted for all of four minutes. Just because you weren't sure you even orgasmed, and your friend had told you that you'd know if you'd orgasmed. Just because it was all over so quickly, and he'd run off before anyone could catch you both, avoiding you at every opportunity after that.

"... Isn't it?"

"Oh no it ain't. Besides, like I keep telling you, it's different up here. Everything's different up here. And that includes fuckin'."

The way he said the word, consonants enunciated with such grit and vigour, filled your stomach with knots that began to tighten as you considered in what way things were so different.

"What exactly do you mean by that?"

Cooper sighed, exasperated, resigning himself to the fact that you were going to keep talking to him regardless of his short replies and attempts to end the conversation.

"You are a dog with a bone, huh? Ain't gonna let it go."

His yellowed teeth were exposed as his lips pulled back in a baring, mischievous smile. Those knots doubled, the ends being pulled by tension in your nervous system as Cooper's smirk put you into a dazed stupor.

"No, sir."

"Now, I don't remember signing on to be your personal tutor in all things apocalypse. Do I really need to show you how everything works up here?"

As your cheeks began to blush, you nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, sir."

You were hopeful for just a bit of a distraction. Something to help take the stress away. To relieve the tension that had been building up between you and Cooper as of late. You'd been studying him, watching the way he looked at you, fascinated by your perceived, and frankly obvious, innocence. The way his fingers moved, contributing to the skilful way he handled his gun and his ropes. The confidence, the charisma, the charms.

You wanted him, but you weren't quite sure how to broach the situation without it seeming desperate. But you were past that now. You were desperate For anything, just something. Something to cure the monotony of walking and hiding and fighting and surviving. You didn't want to just survive. You wanted to at least find a semblance of fun and pleasure in this nightmare you had found yourself in. And in the vaults, when board games and books and debates got boring, there was always fucking. That was what you desired most right now. The fact that Cooper happened to be the closest target for your desires was just a sweet miracle, or a cruel tease depending on how willing he was.

And luckily, he seemed agreeable.

"Well then, how about you come over here and let ol' Coop show you a little thing or two about how dirty you can really get up here in the mean, dusty Wasteland, hm?"

Your excitement was palpable, even though you were trying to keep your composure. There was no escaping the echo of the giddy squeal you let out as you jumped up from the bed and made your way over to Cooper. He waited in the far corner of the room, setting himself down on an old armchair as you stepped towards him, slapping his thighs as an indication of where he wanted you. And you did as you were told, following his instructions, knowing they hadn't led you astray so far in your time together.

It felt awkward at first, being so close to him. You shifted your weight nervously, trying to get comfortable while making sure Cooper was still at ease, which of course, he was. He always was. Nothing stirred him, he was forever at peace. Competent in any situation. Quick to adapt. And as you fidgeted and fussed, you felt his strong hands pushing you forward on his lap, until your chests were practically pressed together, his hands skirting over your lower back as he held you still. In command. In control. The sudden sensation of his hands on your body made your breath hitch, a soft, surprised squeal on the inhale that had Cooper raising his brow at you.

"Now... you agree that you asked for this, alright? Because I am not going to put my effort into entertaining your little whims if you're gonna get fussy and decide it's too much for you. I did warn you."

"Yes, you did, and I really don't think you needed to. I doubt there's too much different about it, and I've picked up what I needed to know pretty quickly from your other lessons, haven't I?"

Your retaliation to his insistence that you needed him to teach you everything, and that some things just might prove themselves a little too hard even for your levels of enthusiasm, had irritated him when he'd first met you. But now your optimism and sheer refusal to believe anything was too much for you were a source of entertainment for him. A challenge.

"That's fine then, darlin'. But I'll remember that."

His eyes bore into your soul, keeping your focus on him as he dared you to look away. They sparkled as he ran his tongue over his lips, the pretence of preparing for his next words covering the obvious flirtation in the way he dragged the flat muscle along his chapped skin.

"So, gimme a benchmark here, lil lady. How much foreplay was involved in your previous encounters? I'd hate to leave you high and dry."

"Foreplay...? What... uh, what is that?"

Cooper sighed, rolling his eyes before closing his eyelids over gently.

"Well, it's something like this."

He pushed a loose strand of hair back behind your ear, rough fingers following the curve and grazing over your neck as he let them drift down the front of your chest, tickling the exposed skin as far as your jumpsuit would allow before he took a hold of the zip at the front. A quick flit of his eyes up to you seemed to ask for permission, and your small, almost imperceptible nod, told him to keep going.

Slowly, painfully so, he pulled the zip down, watching as the centre of your torso was slowly revealed to him. Smooth skin, in comparison to his anyway, clear of any unnatural blemishes or war wounds. One calloused digit followed down your sternum to your stomach and back up, hooking under the left side of the fabric and pulling it over, then the other, exposing the top half of your body to him.

Cooper traced his fingertips over the top of your breasts, watching as your chest moved in and out, slowly, but exaggeratedly. The knots in your stomach felt like they might burst with the tension as his sharp, ragged nails crossed over your hardening nipples, a gentle tingle coursing through your veins.

"Well?"

"No... n-nothing like that... just grabbing..."

"Oh yeah? You like that? How about this?"

He closed two fingers around your nipple, one hand still on your back to keep you balanced as your body reacted to his touch. Between the two digits, you felt your nipples heating up, the slight, burning pain from the way he squeezed them sending a signal down your spine that seemed to affect every part of you. Tighter, tighter, and then as your eyes closed a little more, eyelids pressed tight, he would ease up to offer some relief.

"You like that? Like it rough?"

"I think... I think I like both."

"So, something like this?"

He teased your nipples once more, pressing harder with his fingertips, pulling them out and jiggling your breasts as he tugged at them, this lewder act interspersed with a gentle caress as he held your breast against the palm of his hand, carefully cupping it as he flicked his thumb over the sensitive and completely erect nipple.

You bit your lip, trying to keep quiet, Coop's hand moved swiftly from your body to your cheeks, popping the lip back out as he pressed his thumb and forefinger into your face. Understanding the message, and seemingly showing this in your wide-eyed gaze, he let his rough, leathery hand make its way back down to your breast, cupping it once more as he spoke.

"Different, see? Pleasure is hard to come by out here. You gotta do it right when you've got the chance."

Cooper leaned into your neck, whispering the words low and slowly, his dry, chapped lips skimming over your skin as he continued.

"I bet down there they didn't know the first thing about real pleasure. Takes time, something like that. You gotta learn the body, gotta make it feel good."

His teeth grazed over your shoulder and back up along your neck before he pulled back, watching your eyes refocus from the haze of arousal.

"Did they make you feel good?"

"No."

You were confident in that statement. It hadn't felt good. It felt rushed. Clumsy. Shameful. And as you pondered it, your mouth remained open in a slight pout which trembled as Cooper asked his next question.

"And what about your pretty lips... did they kiss them?"

"A little..."

Cooper leaned in, his rough lips pressing onto yours with firm contact, his tongue staying in place as though he imagined that might be a bit too much for you right now. But that same level of restraint didn't keep him from letting his teeth catch onto your bottom lip, pulling it out, only letting go when you winced in surprise as the suddenness of the action.

"Didn't bite them either. Of course not, what am I thinking? That would be a little too adventurous for your kind."

His face took on a darker tone as he smiled knowingly towards you.

“And what about these pretty lips?”

Before you could piece together the question, his hand was diving into your jumpsuit, pushing down the front and past the waist, stroking against the front of your underwear which, by now, was soaking wet with your arousal.

“They touch these lips, huh?”

You gasped as he pushed your underwear to the side, stroking his fingers along your slick, plump pussy lips, withdrawing them soon after to taste you on his tongue, the way you had watched him taste the blood of enemies, the blood of victims.

“Stand up, darlin’… Why don’t you take that suit off, hm? Get yourself comfy.”

As you raised yourself up from his hips, your legs wobbled under you, not quite steady enough to support you so soon after being reduced to jelly by Cooper’s touch, his caramelised words that filled your ears, the sharp twang of his accent, the delicate cadence, the power rumbling underneath like an almost silent bassline.

“Do it slowly though.”

Cooper watched carefully as you stood nervously before him, shuffling out of your suit, stripping for him, your hips moving from side to side slow and steady, unintentionally sultry in the way you moved. Without taking his eyes from you he reached for his canteen, taking a long sip from it as you let your suit fall down over your legs, stepping out of it and pushing it to the side with your feet.

“That’s it, darlin’. Can’t do this half-hearted. I need to have access to all of you there. Now come sit back down.”

You held your arms in front of you, feeling far too exposed for the shelter you’d found for the evening. No windows, no locks on the doors. But it was difficult to focus on that worry for too long as you watched Cooper’s tongue flit back out over his lips, clear strands of drool sparkling in the light as he took you in, hungrily, dreamily.

“Turn around though. You face that way.”

The metal buttons on the front of his duster coat were cold against the skin of your back, but you leaned into them anyway. Cooper’s hand curved around your neck and up under your chin, holding your face forward.

“You keep an eye out, holler if you see anything coming. I’ll do everything else.”

A faint clicking sound, the safety on his gun being flicked to off, before those same fingers draped over your mound and down on to your lips, spreading them apart, the cool air of the decrepit room cooling the heat of your hot, aching cunt. With two fingers holding your lips apart, he let the middle digit tap against your clit, each tiny sensation turning your blood cold before heating it exponentially, a cold sweat beginning to form on your brow as you felt a tingle in your abdomen.

The finger that tapped the sensitive bud began stroking it from side to side, laying flat against it length wise as Cooper strummed your body, still holding your chin in his hands, smiling to himself every time your back arched away from him in intense pleasure. Every nerve-ending was at his mercy. He was right, it was different up here. But you wondered how much of that was the Wasteland and it’s effect on sexuality and pleasure, and how much of it was just him. Cooper Howard, Wasteland bounty hunter, a past life he refused to talk about, the most charismatic monster you had ever met. His fingers, daintily crossing over your clit, as you felt his breath, silent except for an occasional hum of satisfaction in the form of a long moan. Maybe it was just Cooper who was different.

It was hard to focus on this new line of though as his hard fingertips clamped down on your clit, pinching it as he rolled it between his fingers. Even harder when he let his hand drop from your neck and instead began teasing at your nipples once more. Soft, cruel flicks over the hardened bumps, his fingers at work on your body, his lips kissing at the back of your neck. Moans growing louder, more frequent, as he let himself enjoy the act of making you squirm. You could tell he was having fun, as you rolled your hips back a little, feeling the thick bulge of his stiffening cock against your rear. You wondered how it might feel, how it might look, and what he could do differently with it.

“Cooper… Coop… I think I’m going to cum…”

His movements quickened, cock twitching against your body as he pinched tighter and pressed his fingers harder against your cunt.

“Don’t you dare, little lady.”

“Ok I’ll… I’ll try but… you have to… stop… please stop… Coop…”

He ignored your please, the whining, desperate begging as you tried to stop your body from the natural, encouraged reaction.

“Have some self-control, sweetheart.”

“Cooper, I really can’t… please… please stop touching me…”

“I absolutely will not.”

Your fingers dug into his thighs, but you noticed that you refused to move away from him. You wanted to do as he asked, wanted to hold yourself back from the brink of orgasm to prolong his touch, but you couldn’t risk him actually stopping, fearing that your body might crumble if his fingers left your quivering, pathetic body for only a second.

Each stroke against your increasingly wet and sensitive pussy had you trembling and shaking, and Cooper had to remove his hand from your breast to keep you steady, placing it under your chin and holding you steady by the neck.

“I am warning you, missy.”

“Cooper… I can’t stop…”

You shuddered and whined as your body gave in to the temptation, feeling a rush of heat and relief as you came on his lap, your arousal coating his pants, adding to the collection of stains and wear on them. But he didn’t stop then.

“No wait… seriously, Cooper… I can’t… I can’t take much more, honestly…”

“Listen, I told you. I said you better not cum. I wasn’t done with you yet.”

Your eyes began to sting with tears of exasperation as your body kept on pushing to its limits, conjuring up another wave of climax, tormenting you with never-ending bouts of arousal that kept you rutting against him, despite how painful it was to keep writhing into his body. You could feel your stomach knotting again, not much time between each orgasm to relax, and you dug your hands into his thighs, pushing your body up off of him as you tensed completely.

“Ok, this time, you do it on my command. You do it when I say you can, alright?”

“Cooper…”

“Don’t give me that pleading shit, you asked me to show you how things are done. Well this is how Cooper fuckin’ Howard does things. So are you ready? You gonna come for me?”

“C-coop… I’ll… I’ll try…”

“Good girl, now you keep that mouth making those whines and moans. I don’t need you to call out my name or anything, I know I’m all you’re thinking about.”

The praise, the self-confidence, the way his fingers seemed to be pulling your orgasm out, motioning for it to come closer to him.

“Come on, darlin’, come on…”

Your vision blurred as the climax came over you, body rolling and convulsing as you came once more at Cooper’s insistence, your cheeks stained with tears, salted water rolling through the layers of grime and clearing paths to your chin.

As you settled back down onto his lap with a shudder, you felt Cooper’s fingers stroking through your hair. He was surprisingly gentle, oddly calm, but you supposed that you deserved his kindness as you had done as he had asked, making up for your previous indiscretion. He was almost cooing, shushing you as you found your breath, establishing your sense of self once more after the overstimulating orgasm that shook your core.

“You seen enough of the big bad world for one day then?”

You probably had, but you still found yourself shaking your head, ignoring the way your body reacted with a violent twitch at the notion of Cooper’s hands delivering intense pleasure.

“A glutton for punishment, hm? Or just keen to learn?”

As you pondered your answer, Cooper seemed to have come to the conclusion for you, as he tapped your hips and began to shift underneath you.

“Alright then, get onto your knees.”

Positioning yourself at his feet, you couldn’t help but look up at him, catching his eyes as he looked down at you with that unique brand of disdain and intrigue he had somehow mastered. You knew what was coming, what was about to happen, and your mouth began watering at the thought. What he might taste like. What he might look like.

You didn’t have to imagine for long though, as you could see his fingers working the belt of his pants, loosening it, unzipping his fly, and gripping his semi-erect cock at the base as he took it out, brandishing it. He kept close attention on your own eyes, a soft sigh of relief imperceptibly escaping his chest as he noticed your pupils widen, your mouth opening in preparation for him.

It was exactly as you had expected. The texture of the shaft was similar to that of his cheeks and his forearms, a similar colouring, though darker at the base and on the shaft which was tinted red. Thick, purple tinged veins covered it, winding around the length, cutting across the ridges of the scars.

“You can come closer, darlin’. I don’t know what they told you about mutations and radiation effects down there in your little utopia, but I can assure you… it doesn’t bite.”

The fear was palpable, clearly, but it was nothing to do with Cooper’s body and everything to do with your lack of experience, which, despite you arguing otherwise, was becoming plainly obvious even to you. You had only ever touched a cock with your hands outside of being quickly fucked. Several times you’d been cajoled into quickly stroking an erection under the blankets before your partner ran off to the bathroom, clean and tidy, flushing away the sins. And you were very well aware that there was always the option to suck on one, but it had never presented itself. It had never seemed that appealing to you. Until you were faced with Cooper’s.

He hadn’t even asked you to do either yet, but you found yourself curious, salivating over the thought of him, mind racing as you imagined how he might feel against your tongue.

“Can I taste it… you?”

Cooper smiled warmly, one of the few times you had seen him look at you with genuine pride.

“Now that is using your initiative. Of course you can.”

You kept your hands to yourself as you leaned in towards his body, content to let Cooper wield his length at you, his hand firm around the base as you inched closer, tongue pressed out over your lips. A strand of drool collected and spilled forward, hitting the floor in a soft patter just before the tip of your tongue came into contact with the tip of his cock.

A lot of the movements were instinctual, following your desires more than what you thought might be protocol as you dragged your tongue up the shaft and swirled over the blushing head of his cock. It tasted bitter, but in a pleasant way.  Savoury, not sweet. Salted, a tang that stayed there for a few seconds after your tongue had moved on to another spot. A flavour you found yourself craving now.

Cooper gripped tighter and pushed forward, taking you by surprise as he slid himself into your mouth, his free hand moving to the back of your head, fingers curling into your hair. As the taste of him hit the back of your tongue, cock almost touching your throat, you coughed and spluttered a little.

“Fuck me, darlin’… do you need me to show you how to do this too?”

He looked down at you, filled with pity as he saw your face. Red cheeks, puffed out, lips stretched over the girth of his cock, tears welling up in your eyes as you struggled to breathe.

“Breath through your nose… breathe in…”

You followed his instructions, instantly calmed when you found your lungs filling with air once more. Almost immediately back to enjoying yourself, the feeling of Cooper inside of you, the control he had as he held your head against him.

“Now… you don’t want to choke too much, so keep your tongue flat… yeah, just like that…”

It was so much easier like that, and you could feel your cheeks getting warmer and redder as you realised that not only had you embarrassed yourself with your spluttering and lack of knowledge, but that Cooper had clearly done this a lot.

“And your teeth… well, usually they’ll tell you to keep ‘em outta the way, but you know me… gotta be different…”

Taking the hint, you let your jaw close slightly, the pain of the stretch lessened, your teeth scraping along the top of his shaft as your tongue worked the underneath, sucking and rolling as much as you could while keeping it flat.

He didn’t say much else, and you couldn’t tell if he was particularly enjoying himself. It worried you, the fact that he had specific preferences, the way it was so clear how much more experienced he was than you. How many others had there been? And were they all better than you? As your mind wandered to your anxieties, you completely missed the fact that you had begun to drool all over yourself until Cooper relaxed his grip on your head and wiped at your chin with his thumb. Catching your eyes and sensing some of your worries, he was surprisingly quick to soothe you.

“You can swallow or spit or let it all spill out, I don’t mind makin’ a mess darlin’. But whatever you’re doing, you keep that up.”

You were so pathetically grateful for the encouragement, for the tiniest semblance of praise, that you felt yourself moaning involuntarily. The soothing motion of sucking on his cock, the taste of something new, the comforting knowledge that he was happy with your efforts. You could feel your clit throbbing, aroused by Cooper’s satisfaction, how pleased he was with the way you worked him over.

Which is why it surprised you so much when he pulled his cock from your mouth, your lips slipping off of it with a disgustingly lewd popping sound, drool spilling onto your chin in long strands which stretched from your lips to his cock and tore apart as he distanced himself from you.

And again, that sympathetic gaze, the way he could tell what you were thinking before you even said it.

“Oh, don’t you look at me with those big, sad eyes. You got nothin’ to worry about, sweetheart. That was good, ‘specially for a first try…”

He winked to you as he spoke, causing your heart to skip enough beats that you thought you might die there and then.

“… It’s just that I’m all slicked up and ready to go now… so you wanna bend over for me? Or do you wanna come sit on my lap?”

“Uh… lap, please… I was kinda bent over for the last… first time.”

“Well, you come and take a seat then, darlin’, let ol’ Coop show you something new.”

You nervously settled your entirely nude body back down onto his thighs. Cooper’s hands were gentle against your shoulders as he pulled you backwards with him, leaning at a slight angle in the chair, his cock rigid and firm as it sat against your waiting cunt, coated in your drool which almost seemed to shimmer with the dancing light of the fire.

Then, so carefully, so gently, far more than you’d ever seen him be before, Cooper took hold of his cock at the base and slid it inside of you, one hand on your stomach as he braced you, keeping your body steady as he inserted himself further and further between your clenching walls.

“Bigger than before?”

You nodded, biting your lip as you felt the distinct stretch, his rough, textured cock forcing its way inside your cunt, pressed up to the hilt, testing your limits.

“Better?”

“Mhm…”

“Speak up, darlin’.”

With your voice strained and breathy, you managed to form some words.

“Yes… it’s better.”

“That’s it, good girl. Now, I’m gonna buck my hips, ok? You just try and keep your balance.”

Below you, Cooper shifted a little, his hips rolling backwards, inches of his cock escaping your tight, aching cunt, before he rolled them forwards and upwards, back into you. A slow, steady pace that he focused on keeping until you felt warmer, more relaxed.

“You got this, it’s like riding a horse.”

“I’ve never… hm… ridden a horse…”

Cooper chuckled, a low and rasping sound that sent shivers over your skin and seemed close enough to you that it was coming from inside of your body.

“Never ridden a ghoul before either, but you’re handling it alright for a first timer.”

You were coping ok, you had to admit, but you could feel your stomach muscles tensing, the knots back in full force as they tensed and tightened, loosened and frayed with each pump of his cock within you.

“Ah… Cooper…”

“Too much, darlin’? Does it hurt?”

There was a sense of genuine care in his tone, as though he had taken it upon himself to show you that yes, things were different up there in the Wasteland, but that didn’t always mean they were worse. Some things were good, if not a little bit difficult to take at first.

“A little…”

Cooper tilted your chin up, forcing your head to lean back completely against his shoulder. In a delicate move, one far more romantic than you imagined from him, he ran his thumb over your lips, angling his neck to look at them, his own mouth open ever so slightly, a monotonous panting as he kept his hips moving, increasing the speed and the force at which he entered you.

His eyes flicked up suddenly, looking into yours, catching your gaze and holding unblinking eye contact as he spoke.

“I know… I know… Just a little longer, though…”

He closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of his cock pushing against your body, enveloped in your hot, wet, velvety interior.

“I know it hurts… but I ain’t stopping, so don’t even ask… here…”

You watched as he brought a finger to your lips, offering it up to you.

“…you bite down on that if it gets too much, ok… but don’t hold back on those sweet sounds… I wanna hear you scream.”

With that vaguely threatening remark, he thrust up into you, banging against your body, spurring on your orgasm but unleashing a dull ache that spread through every sensitive part of you.

“Won’t… be long… keep it together… good girl…  good girl…”

It felt good, the pain, the sting, the ache, the shivers. The fact that he was using you, finding pleasure in you. All of it culminating in Cooper’s nearing orgasm which you could sense was closing in on him. His movements were becoming more frantic, sloppier, and he was mouthing all manner of sweet nothings as he let his façade slip away.

And those soft mumbles opened up into a wide roar as he clung to your body, the hand on your neck cutting off the air to your lungs only briefly, one hand on your lap pressing sharp indents into your skin as he forced himself into you. The last few moments of his fevered thrusting, fucking you wildly, drool pooling in the corner of his mouth as he rutted into you in a dazed stupor before his body gave in. His cock throbbed, each pulse sending another rope of cum against your insides, filling you with his seed as he shuddered finally, slinking backwards into the chair and taking in a deep breath as you removed yourself from him.

You’d only managed to take a few steps forward before Cooper addressed you, opening his eyes to watch you standing there awkwardly, his cum dripping down your thighs, a warmth that quickly turned cool in the air of the room.

“Did I say you could get up?”

Panic settled in your chest, aware that you had waited until you felt his muscles relax, his body retreating from you, before you slid off his cock, expecting him to push you away anyway, like your first time. You assumed he was finished, and you weren’t sure you were ready for the idea that he might not be done with you.

“Are we… oh, Cooper, I really can’t take anymore.”

Even as you stood, you could feel your legs shaking, weakened by the intense orgasms, the way they tightened against his every movement.

“That’s different up here too then, I suppose.”

Cooper stood up from the chair, pacing towards you with a purposeful stride as he pushed his cock back into his pants, zipping them up as he reached you. You inhaled sharply as he placed his hand at the back of your head, those knots in your stomach beginning to form again, worried that a further, albeit pleasurable punishment was on the cards. But you were surprised as he slid his free hand around your back, tugging at your waist as he pulled you in close to him. A quick smile before his lips were on yours, the brim of his hat pushed upwards as he leaned into the kiss. Warm, gentle, the kind of kiss you’d seen in movies. Practised and confident, meaningful, sincere.

When he pulled back, your body following him a little before you settled back onto your feet, he smiled warmly.

“Sweet with the sour, darlin’. You gotta keep ‘em wanting more.”

“M-more?”

More as in now? Or more as in the idea that Cooper had enjoyed himself and would be willing to offer that kind of pleasure to you again. And he answered with a wink.

“Definitely. There’s a still a lot you’ve got to learn.”

[winterzsurprise]

Change My Mind [1]

Pairing: BTS x reader

SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants. Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.

Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor

Words: 5k

haha heyy I'm back after a year. Still suffering from writer's block so here's the start of a series I created during it, forcing myself to actually write. There's no set schedule but I'll try my best to do it weekly. That is all and pre-save Neva Play :DD

[1] [2] [3] [4]

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Maybe you should've cut off your mother before you went past the age for mark appearances.

If you had then maybe you wouldn't be suffering with the overcompensating rant about an unfortunate man and his bare minimum achievements.

What are you, Bangtan's—The current biggest boyband in the world—makeup artists since their era of wearing thick eyeliners to convey their passion and emo inspired hairstyles, doing, listening to someone's so-called gratifying achievements?

Staring at the source of the grating voice babbling nonsense, you refrain yourself from letting out a heavy sigh.

Jeong Binwoo is a stout man. His roundness is enhanced by the fact that he's an inch or so shorter than you on a good day. His face reminds you of a dumpling, especially now that he's stuffing it with a handful of greasy fries in quick successions. Despite his full mouth, he kept on speaking and you swore a few stray blobs had landed on your plate.

You've only just a week and a half before the start of their tour in Seoul and here you are wasting your time sitting in front of a man whose awareness is limited to only himself when you could've been at work or binging some stupid cliche drama.

Maybe you should've listened to Namjoon's statistical analysis of your dates this year and never bothered going to this meeting as well.

Your mother's recommendations so far had never brought you a man decent enough nor carry an ounce of respect your father has for your mother. Why you still try and date them is a question you've asked yourself one too many times.

His rant was the standard overcompensating life story of a man unfortunate enough to be given an ugly mug and an even uglier fate. A conversation topic you've been subjected to far more often than you'd liked but still smooths out your brain every time you're forced to listen to it. It might not be but it must've been an hour already since he started listing out the same adult milestones he achieved in his 28th year—you've done the same at a younger age, 20 to be exact.

Binwoo reached for your fries shamelessly when his fingers found his bowl empty and you couldn't stop yourself from grimacing this time. 

He was actually decent , compared to the other guys you've met before whose mouth spouted bullshit even the devil himself would gasp at. The man actually bought you a gift and opened and held the door for you.

'How disturbing that you think the bare minimum is a sign of a good man, noona.' A voice suspiciously sounding like Namjoon echoes in your head and you sighed for the nth time that afternoon.

If you weren't so weak against your mother's wishes, you would've been doing work instead of putting up with horrid dates over and over again. You'd willingly take on styling an energetic Jungkook at 6am trying to dodge your brushes and play fights with them then sit in front of another insecure man.

A clang of a metal utensil making contact on the tile took your attention to the two men sitting a few tables in front of you. Suddenly, you're reminded of the lovely bodyguards who have volunteered to watch the mess that is your love life for lunch.

You caught one of their gaze when he looked over his shoulder, pitiful, before kicking his friend's leg and picking up his phone.

Immediately, a vibration rang from your bag and you checked the message as discreetly as you could.

[13:24] Mimi: I feel so bad for you, noona. Is this really how guys are like these days? [13:24] Mimi: It's appalling how he thinks finally getting his own space at 28 is impressive. [13:24] Tete: do you need help? Please say yes, I don't think I can sit through the whole date and hear this bull. [13:25] Tete: Just seeing it is mentally scarring enough, I can't imagine how you're feeling as the one that has to actually listen.

"Hey, are you still listening? I hope I'm not talking too much." A voice interrupts before you could reply.

Looking up from your phone, Binwoo's face now displayed a sheepish smile, the smear of ketchup on the edge of his lips not going unnoticed. His greasy hand had reached behind his head to scratch the back of his nape and you had to gather every strength in your body to not grimace when the same fingers he ate with met scalp.

You try not to notice how oily and stiff his hair already looked. You really tried.

You shook your head despite wanting it all to end for the sake of appearing respectful and the man immediately continued his empty boasting, the same hand he scratched his neck returning to claw down at your fries without another thought and immediately your phone pings again.

[13:29] Mimi: did he just  [13:29] Mimi: did he just eat with the same hand he scratched with? On your plate of fries? [13:29] Mimi: I'm gonna barf [13:30] Mimi: Please free us from this torture, noona. My heart can only take so much [13:30] Tete: Screw this, we're going back. I can't do this anymore

A screech of a chair being dragged through tile took your attention back to the masked men in front of you and saw the tall and imposing form of Taehyung marching towards your table, brown beanie hiding his dyed hair and a black mask covering half of his face.

"The fucking gull you have to show your face here after you ran away with my heart last week!"

You sigh internally and hope he's not about to choose an embarrassing trope to follow through this time.

If he takes on another dramatic golden-spooned CEO character who throws tantrums when he can't do or get what he wants, you might just stab yourself with the butter knife next to you. Witnessing and being on the receiving end of his tantrums, even if it's acting, in such a public place like the park once is enough.

With a silent wish that Tae has picked a good trope to follow this time, you followed his lead.

Comically widening your eyes, your gaze bounced from Taehyung and Binwoo with a mystified look before sputtering out a reply.

"Wo-Wooyoung! I thought you went back to the states! How's being home again feels like?"

"Is this how you're gonna be? You're just gonna act like everything's alright after you took my youth ?!"

A couple of gasps erupted from the guests around you, in the seas of scandalized reactions there's a burst of hushed giggles from one guy in black from a particular table and you refrain yourself from glaring at his ducked head and shaking shoulders. The phone pointed in your direction didn't go unnoticed, no doubt recording it all from start to finish to send to the group chat as he always does.

Ever your biggest supporter.

At this point, everyone in the restaurant is looking at the three of you. A glance at Binwoo told you of how close you are to freedom. The man has hunched his shoulders, shrinking into himself, trying to disappear from the public gaze while his eyes busied itself by tracing the details on the tiles. He has long stopped from eating now as he hangs his head in embarrassment, ashamed to be associated with you.

"Hey, I'm sorry man. I didn't know you were like that, in your profile it said that you were experienced in hammering."

"I do woodworking, of course I'm amazing at it!"

You hear a dull thud erupt from two tables over. At the edge of your eyes you see Jimin hitting the table with a closed fist, his giggles a little louder; enough to gather a few confused eyes but quiet enough to limit the range to the patrons next to him.

"I-I'm so sorry."

Binwoo flushes before darting out, towing his black suitcase that looked suspiciously light, away from the eyes of everyone in the restaurant and relief floods your body, muscles relaxing as you watch his form disappear behind the partition between the tables and the exit.

You stare up at Taehyung to find him already looking back at you with crinkled eyes past the dim shades he was wearing, his cheekbones poking above the mask as he smiled.

With your date finally out of the shot, Jimin's laughter explodes into loud cackles of a mad man as he stands, stumbling before he manages to approach you both. When he was close enough, he latched onto Tae's arm to stabilize himself as he held up his phone with the camera app open. Immediately, everyone's displeasure echoed in the room at the implication that the intense scene they just witnessed was a part of a vlog.

Despite how much of a spur of a moment their plan seemed, the duo has managed to construct a simple start and conclusion to their plan and you couldn't be more proud of your smart boys.

Taehyung turned to the mass and bowed.

"I'm sorry for disrupting everyone's afternoon, I was just saving my sister from a bad date and decided to make a vlog out of it. We're really sorry." Taehyung exclaimed.

The disturbed patrons' voices grew louder and angrier, a few attempting to approach your little group to possibly get physical.

Next thing you know, Tae's grabbing the paper gift bag your date has given you earlier before reaching to your and Jimin's hand and pulling you both out of the restaurant at full speed with a wide grin, leaving behind indignant screams of 'YA!' . You couldn't stop the laughter from bubbling out of your chest as you three raced down to the stairs, taking the safer and the long way down. You'd regret the decision later once your age kicks in and the ache on your knees comes but the thrill thrumming under your skin keeps you occupied.

They'd probably ban you from ever entering the establishment but for now, you could care less, the place felt too pretentious for you anyways.

The laughter didn't stop even when you entered Taehyung's car, your joined delight bouncing off the small space and when it ceased, a satisfied silence followed. You and Jimin sag to your seats as the giggles die down, arms clutching your stomachs while Taehyung hunches over the wheel.

Even with how ridiculous the youngest decides on how to go about destroying a date, you couldn't deny the overflowing gratitude you hold for the guy for selling his dignity. Although as an idol with an interesting internet background, you doubt he still has one.

"Wow, that went better than I expected."

"I'm never taking you both to my dates again."

Jimin rolled his eyes at you, lips tugged into a grin. "You say that and take us anyways."

"I'm so glad Tae didn't pull another jealous CEO persona, I was so embarrassed that day!"

"Hey! I still got you out so it's not that bad!" Tae protests, turning to the both of you on the backseat. "At least I didn't act like an embarrassing ex that cried and begged on his knees by the outlook!"

Jimin's swat was quick and Tae hissed and gasped dramatically, cradling his arm as if it was broken by the slap.

"Now he's trying to hit me!"

"Nonetheless, we did so well ruining your dates this month, noona. I think we deserve some reward." Jimin's lips tugged up into a sly smile, eyes glimmering with mischief as he suggestively raised his eyebrows.

"You don't have to tell me twice."

Before you returned home, you had Tae stop by the nearest grilling restaurant to treat the two of them to a couple of orders of meat. If Jimin looked like a kicked puppy upon realizing you've misinterpreted his words, you didn't say anything.

In your defense, he didn't specify what he wanted. Even if he did, you wouldn't have entertained his flirty jokes.

Not a minute longer since the three of you had seated yourselves at a secluded corner at the far back of the restaurant did Jimin's phone ring. You didn't have to look at the screen to know it was Jungkook, ever so eager to hear about how his hyungs managed to scare off your date this time.

He treats it like he was watching those public prank videos on the internet but instead of random targets, it was your dates.

When the video call loads in, you are met with the sight of Jungkook and Jin sharing half the screen while the stylists hands tend to their hairs, stuck deciding between leaving a strand astray from their elevated fringes or keeping it neat.

"Hyung, did you manage to do what you were telling me last time?"

Taehyung grinned. "You should've seen how they all reacted!"

As Taehyung recalled the event with exaggerated movements and expressions—with Jimin adding his extraordinarily unique perspective every now and then—the plates full of meat to grill and bowls of rice you ordered came. Immediately, they were recognized by the waitress who bowed her head at them before shyly asking for an autograph. If you felt her eyes burning a hole through your skull throughout the encounter, you pretend not to notice.

You've introduced yourself as their make-up artist early on in their career, sneaking into their hearts with behind-the-scenes photographs of their idols. A few photographs in exchange of their respect which the boys and the company allowed. Even then, you wouldn't be able to avoid exchanges like these.

Once the waitress was gone, the boys continued to delight the others with their tales. They laughed and expressed their disgust, picking apart your date piece by piece down to his last molecule but as they continued noting down their observations, you started to feel that they're making up random facts out of spite.

Like, what do you mean you saw the guy kept wiggling in his seat to subtly scratch his ass? How did you even see that, Jimin?

But due to them sneaking out to be your guard dogs, they were called to return soon by an unimpressed Namjoon who took over the phone call at some point, threatening them with Hoseok who just laughed in response. You didn't miss the opportunity to rub your week-long rest in their faces with a smile when Taehyung and Jimin tried pouting their way out of punishment.

They ended up being given the chance to at least finish their food before they're given the countdown when Jimin bribed them with takeout.

"Come with us to drink that memory away instead, noona! Hyung and I are better drinking buddies anyways."

You waved Hoseok off. "I don't think Sejin would appreciate me distracting you guys more than I already do."

"Look into my eyes and say that you don't want to drink the memory away!" Yoongi said matter-of-factly from somewhere in the background.

"We won't even drink much, promise!"

"Stop lying to yourself, Hoba. We know you'd tap out after the third glass."  Jin snickered.

"Hey, I've changed! I can do four now."

Before you could further shoot his idea down, your phone flashes open with a ring displaying your mother's name and your heart drops. As if sensing the change in the air, their heads perked up to look at you.

You knew she'll contact you eventually but seeing her name on the screen glare back at you, a shiver wracks down your spine.

"Who is it?" 

"It's my mom."

Jimin and Taehyung gasped, shushing the people on the other line like kids trying to hide a stray pet from their parents who came home as you answered the call.

"Hello my dearest daughter, tell me why the hell did Binwoo's mother just call me to tell me that you've been going around stealing people's youths?! I don't remember raising you to be such a person!"

Despite not having the call on speaker, her rage is loud enough for the other two to hear. Instead of sending pitying looks towards you like a proper friend should, they were grinning and trying to stop themselves from cackling. Your mother's screeching evolved into rapid fire scolding with barely any breathing in between, sending your companions into silent laughter.

You could only glare as Taehyung threw his head back as he guffawed noiselessly while Jimin had hunched over the table, his shaking shoulders being the only indicator that he too was laughing.

Kicking them both under the table, you gathered the courage to interrupt your mother so she could breathe.

"Mom, it was just a friend who wanted to save me from Binwoo."

"A friend?!? A friend my foot! He must be an-uh what do you call it these days—a friend with benefits! Here I thought you've been busy fussing over those Bangtan boys to fool around!"

At this, their ears perked up, attention falling to yours.

"God! If you just started dating them then I wouldn't have to stress myself over finding you a husband!"

Taehyung sobers up, playing with the meat on the grill as he whispers. "Oh I wish auntie but noona is too professi—ow!"

Your foot swiftly connects with his shin and Taehyung hunches over the table, hand disappearing down to cradle his foot.

"I assure you, Mom, if you've seen how he acted, you'd thank your daughter for dodging such a disgusting guy. He didn't even ask me permission to eat my fries!"

"Aishhhhh! If you were here I would've hung you upside down in a sack outside our house! God, I'm gonna have a cardiac arrest because of you!"

"The guy is really my friend, mom! It's the same guy who interrupted my dates before. Remember the crazy CEO?"

"I know I know! But with how picky you are, you'll end up alone! I know you're trying to wait for your soulmate but you're 26 now! You're way past the maximum marking age!"

Taehyung and Jimin fall silent as an awkward silence settles between your group, continuing to place their pork into the leaves and engulfing them almost meekly; almost because the way they ate the wrap is far from graceful.

You've known that for a year now, accepted your fate but the reminder made your heart ache. Imagine how it was for a hopeless romantic, who dreamt of fated meetings and whimsical red strings on your pinkie, to find out that they're untethered. Even then, a small part of you, a much younger version, keeps hoping for a chance that you're just a late bloomer.

Who wouldn't want true love for themselves?

Even a solitary man would crave affection.

"I-I know that. But you can't expect me to settle for less, you wouldn't want to see your dear daughter in a miserable marriage do you?"

There's a deep sigh from the other line and you could imagine your mom pinch the bridge of her nose before she spoke:

"I'm just worried, I hope you understand. I'm not getting any younger. Your older brother and sister already have their own family and seeing them happy while you're still on your own, it hurts this old woman's heart, you know?"

There's a quick succession of dull thuds from across the line and you assumed your mother was hitting her chest with her fist, ever the dramatic.

Jimin flips the newly added meat on the grill, taking the cooked strips to distribute between yours and Taehyung's bowl. It was such a small gesture yet it made your stomach flutter for a second. Always the caring and golden hearted boy you've met years ago that never hesitated to give you hugs and make you smile either with exaggerated movements or from touch alone.

If only there's more Jimin in the world, you would've been married a long time ago and you wouldn't have to deal with your mother's horrible matchmaking.

You sighed. "I know, I'm trying my best so don't worry too much."

"That's my youngest. Now, since you're trying, I have another—"

You pinched the bridge of your nose. "Mom, please."

"I swear this guy is better. He's a lawyer, 30 years old, and he's got a penthouse!"

There's a shrill ding! from your phone and you turned to look at your screen to find yourself staring back at a picture of the suitor your mother was just talking about. In a blink, Jimin and Taehyung have teleported  behind you with side dishes in hand as they peered over your shoulder to look at the photo.

The picture was roughly cropped and showed a man in a tailored black suit leaning against what looks like his mother from how similar the shape of their eyes and lips are. He had his coat hanging from his arm, giving you a full view of how his chest and shoulders filled out his white button up. With a narrow and refined jawline, topped off with good hair waxed into a small quiff and a pair of sunken dimples on each side of his bowstring lips, as an idol's makeup artist, you wondered how it is possible for him to be single.

But what distracted you more was how your mother has sent you someone visually appealing instead of the challenged men she had recommended to you. It's making the ends of the hair on your arm stand up.

It's new and it's creeping you out.

You make a mental note to ask your father about her strange behavior.

"His name is Yoo Guwon, isn't he good looking? His mother and I met at the salon by the market in front of your aunt Jia. I saw him once and he looks exactly like he does in that picture!"

"He looks good."

A hiss following a slap muted by thick clothing erupted from behind you, looking over your shoulder, you see Taehyung staring at Jimin with a shocked and betrayed expression.

"What are you doing?! You're supposed to be against this!"

"Well now that you've mentioned it," Jimin hums, crossing his arms as he leaned closer over your shoulders. "He does look like a manipulator. He has the eye and facial structure for it."

You turned to him with a puzzled expression. "What do you even mean—"

"No no no wait, I can see what you mean." Taehyung butts in, narrowing his eyes as he also inched closer to the screen on the other side of your face before reaching over to expand on the man's face.

You furrowed your eyebrows, still not seeing how a skull's formation could mean manipulator in their eyes. But before you could ask how they came to the conclusion, your mother gasped.

"Is that one of your boys? Taehyung and Jimin?"  

"Yeah, I took them out for some meat since they saved me earlier."

"Oh? Put me on speaker, I want to talk to them!" You obeyed her and hummed a confirmation before holding your phone towards them. "I hope my daughter hasn't disrupted your busy schedules to play jealous exes for her."

Jimin laughs. "It's nothing too much, auntie~ She took great care of us back then, it's just us repaying the debt! Besides, I like watching her fail her dates!"

"Oh aren't you quite mischievous?" Her tone was teasing and delighted as she giggled. "Don't enjoy it too much, okay? My daughter needs to get married soon!"

"Don't worry too much, auntie! I also want our noona to find a good husband!"

"What a sweet boy! Too bad company rules can't let you date, I would've loved you as my son-in-law."

A smile stretched across Jimin's face as he shyly laughed, hiding his delight behind a hand. "You can't say that and expect me to not try and court your daughter, auntie!"

"What about me, auntie? I sold my dignity just to push away her creepy suitors when hyung only sat back to record. I did a lot!" Taehyung jumps in with a pout, feeling left out of the conversation.

"Any of you boys are welcome in my family as long as my daughter is married and treated well! Ok, I'll stop now since I have some friends to meet up with. Visit me soon, my lovely daughter!"

After saying your goodbyes and your i-love-you's, the call ends. Immediately, your phone was fished out from your hands by Taehyung as the two boys returned to their seats, zooming in on Guwon's face and speaking in hushed whispers among themselves. At least until Jin and Jungkook's insistence to be included in the discussion came booming.

"Ya Taehyung! Aren't we friends for so long? Why are you not showing us the picture like a normal friend would do? Forward it to the GC!"

Even after forwarding the picture to the GC, they're still far from pleased after being ignored for so long. Jungkook and Jin didn't spare any words from expressing their wrath, especially the elder. A problem easily buried for everyone to forget with an offer of bringing food when they come home. Your mother expressing her openness to the idea of having any of your bosses as your husband seems to breeze past their heads. You do have an inkling they'll discuss amongst themselves later on.

Soon, Jimin and Taehyung are dropping you at your apartment building, parting ways with hugs before they leave.

Since you've finally claimed some of the absent days you've gathered throughout the years for a nice week off before the eventual tour, you decided to take full advantage of it by treating yourself with a nice night in, stuffing yourself with ice cream and an unhealthy amount of pizzas. Doors locked and blinds shut.

Just you and your TV.

And the generic drama that's playing before you.

It's about a poor girl who got rescued by a handsome rich man who has an obsessed admirer and a family who opposes their relationship despite the soulmate mark they both wore due to their different levels in society.

The trope has been overused but you indulge in it anyways.

But as the night gets deeper and the plot thickens to its climax, you find yourself slowly liking it. Watching the young couple be domestic around their apartment, your heart starts to yearn. Their kisses looked fantastical and sweet, as if the taste of each other could energize them for the whole month. 

You watched as brief passing touches scream louder than words, eyed the way their arms wrapped around waists with jealousy and wondered when you'd be able to experience such a thing too.

Emotional torture is what you're doing but you couldn't find it in yourself to stop watching it.

You remembered how realization felt like plunging into the darkest depths in the ocean, cold and harsh, the pain in your chest when your 21st passed by without any notable changes in your life. 

You recalled how you'd wake up and excitedly look over your skin for a hint everyday with no fail, hoping for a telltale sign that you weren't assigned to a fate of love bare of the genuine and rawness of a soulbond. The devastation gnawing at your dreams when your 21st ends uneventfully and the 22nd comes with the same nothingness still fresh in your mind.

There wasn't a cure for being untethered but you learned soon how to accept your fate. Having your friends comfort you through those years helped. From the maknaes' grounding tight hugs to Yoongi's silent support in the form of distractions and Seokjin's insistence on how unimportant soulmates are, healing came easier with them by your side.

Being untethered or alone isn't a disease cured by human medicine but you think your friends' support came close.

Your phone then vibrates, taking you out of the train of thought you got yourself into, screen lighting up to a message from an unknown user.

[21:39] Unknown: Hey, it's me Yoo Guwon. Your mother gave me your number and said to contact you first because you might be busy with work.

None of the suitors your mother has brought forth has ever worked out. At this point, you should ask her to stop and try to find a good man yourself.

But none of them ever made the effort to reach out first.

But he's a lawyer and you know damn well what they're good at .

He looks cute and tall though, got a good background as well.

Everyone before him also had that.

With a heavy exhale, you picked your phone up and opened his message.

[21:40] You: Hello, I'm actually on a week-long break so I'm just rotting on my couch instead haha

"That's too awkward." You muttered to yourself, subconsciously biting your lips as you rephrased the message a couple more times, frantically deleting and adding words onto your ever growing introduction message.

But then it's too wordy, it makes you sound desperate so you deleted it all again, starting once more from the beginning.

You didn't even get to send it when Guwon sent another message.

[21:48] Yoo Guwon: I'm free tomorrow, I hope you are too. What do you usually like to do?

He's giving me options? You stared at the screen with furrowed eyebrows before narrowing at it suspiciously.

What's up with this guy? Why isn't he taking the lead?

[21:50] You: I'm more often working and staying at home than visiting places so I don't know where ;-;. I'll go wherever you want to go. [21:51] Yoo Guwon: It's fine, just send me your address and I'll pick you up tomorrow at 9am, dress formal casual.

Throwing your phone to the side, you reached for the canned beer from your table and took a long sip before titling your head back to stare at the ceiling. There's a careful rise in your heartbeat, a traitorous action of your body. It was hopeful and you hated how you felt like that, you sighed again for the nth time that day but for a different reason.

Your mind takes you back to the mischievous duo, wondering if you should take one of them for this date but find yourself shutting the idea down as quick as it came. The guy looks decent enough for a solo adventure, going alone shouldn't hurt.

Maybe this time will be different.

[mythicalmaven]

omg i saw your prompt list and I'm a sucker for oscar lately, so i thought 45 (God, I am so in love with you) with him? fluff please :)

i love your writing btw!

First Kiss - Oscar Piastri (requested)

Masterlist ↳pairing: oscar piastri x female!reader ↳word count: 0.8K ↳summary: In which Oscar wins the Azerbaijan GP & finally kisses you for the first time ↳prompts used: 45 - "God, I am so in love with you"

Oscar had been in love with you for years, a secret he’d kept tucked away in the corners of his heart, afraid of what would happen if he ever let it out. He’d watch you laugh, your eyes sparkling with a light that made everything else fade away, and he’d feel his chest tighten with the words he could never quite say.

You’d been his best friend since forever, the person who knew him better than anyone else. Every victory, every defeat—you were there, cheering him on or comforting him in the quiet moments when the world seemed too much. But as much as he cherished your friendship, he was terrified to risk it by confessing his feelings, convinced that you saw him as nothing more than a friend.

It was a thought that haunted him every time he caught you looking at him with that warm smile, every time your hand brushed against his, sending electric shocks through his body. He couldn’t imagine a life without you in it, so he swallowed down his love, settling for being your best friend even if it meant his heart ached every time you were near.

But everything changed the morning of the Baku race. He was in the paddock, nerves buzzing under his skin as he tried to focus on the upcoming race, terribly failing as he catched himself staring at you once again. But then Lando came up to him with a knowing smile.

“You know she’s in love with you too, right?” Lando said casually, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bombshell on him.

Oscar blinked, his brain struggling to process the words. “What?”

“Yeah,” he continued, oblivious to the way his heart was suddenly racing. “She’s been head over heels for you for ages. Honestly, it’s kind of obvious. I thought you knew.”

He stood there, stunned, his mind spinning as everything he thought he knew shifted. You were in love with him? All those moments he’d dismissed as wishful thinking, the lingering touches, the way you looked at him—had he been blind to it all?

"Are you sure?" Oscar asked, completely dumbfounded. Afraid that Lando might got the wrong signals, that it wasn't what he thought it was.

"Couldn't be more sure" Lando smiled at him, patting his shoulder "Mate, she legit told me, 'I wonder if Oscar has any idea how crazy I am about him.' That clear enough for you?" he chuckled, mocking your love sick tone "Didn't wan't to be the one to spill the beans, but I'm pretty sure the both of you otherwise would have been too shy too ever confess to each other"

His heart soared, hope blossoming in his chest, but there was no time to process it. The call for the race was going out, and he had to get to the grid. He barely remembered the moments that followed, his body moving on autopilot as he climbed into the car, his mind consumed by thoughts of you.

And when he crossed the finish line, his first instinct wasn’t to celebrate the victory—it was to find you, to tell you everything he’d been holding back for so long. Because now he knew. And he wasn’t going to let another moment slip by without you knowing, too.

He glanced around, searching the crowd with an urgency you’d never seen before. When his eyes locked onto yours, a grin split his face. Without a second thought, he handed his helmet to a nearby mechanic and practically sprinted toward you. Your heart leaped into your throat as he reached the barrier, reaching out to lift you over it with ease. His hands found your face, cupping your cheeks with a gentleness that contrasted sharply with the intense look in his eyes.

“Oscar—” you began, but your words were cut off as he crashed his lips onto yours, his kiss filled with a raw, unspoken longing. You gasped against his mouth, stunned, but the surprise quickly melted into warmth as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

The crowd erupted in cheers, their shouts echoing around you, but it all faded into a blur. It was just the two of you, standing there in the middle of the chaos, wrapped up in each other. The kiss was everything you’d ever dreamed of—soft yet demanding, sweet but full of a simmering passion that sent shivers down your spine. You could feel the joy and relief radiating from him, his lips moving against yours with a mix of exhilaration and tenderness that made your legs weak.

When you finally pulled apart, breathless and dazed, Oscar rested his forehead against yours, his eyes sparkling with unspoken words. His thumb brushed over your cheek as he searched your gaze, a smile tugging at his lips.

“I love you too, by the way,” he whispered, his voice slightly breathless but steady.

A giggle bubbled up from your chest, pure happiness spilling over as you leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. The cameras were still flashing, the crowd still cheering, but all you could focus on was the warmth of his hands and the way he looked at you, like you were the only thing that mattered in the world.

Oscar’s gaze never left you, his grin widening with each passing moment. Finally, he could hold you the way he’d always longed to. He’d admired you for so long, captivated by your beauty. But now, seeing you up close, you looked even more stunning. He was completely smitten. “God, I am so in love with you.”

Masterlist

[russellsppttemplates]

Can i request Lando with bookworm!reader and he constantly buys books for reader and always takes pictures of her whilst she reads and one day he like goes through her wish list and buys a bunch of books from it to surprise her

note: this is the dream, okay? okay

"Do you remember if I've bought this one before?", Lando asked Max as walked along the bookshop.

"You've bought her so many I can't remember - you posted a picture of her reading in the jpg account, maybe we can check in the shelf?", he suggested, getting his phone from his pocket and zooming in on the pictures.

"Well? Do you see it in there?", Lando asked as he tried to balance the books he was sure you didn't have yet, a little impatient because Max was taking so long.

"It's not easy to go through all the pictures! There are hundreds of them, just this week you posted what? Four pictures of her reading by the bookshelves alone, it takes time to analyse them!", Max defended himself.

"Look how pretty she is", Lando cooed as he looked at Max's phone, "whipped much?", Max teased him, "I don't care what you say, and I'm not seeing the book, so I'm getting it for her", Lando stated.

.

"Let me take a picture of you and your new book, baby", Lando cooed, kissing up your thighs as you lay on the sofa. He was resting his head on your thighs, one of your hands holding a book while the other played with his hair, all while he was fiddling with his camera and sending the latest photos to his phone so he could sort through them while you read the book that had arrived yesterday in the mail.

"I have no make-up on, Lando, and I'm barely dressed", you blushed, looking at his t-shirt you were wearing along with a lacy number for your panties, "I'll keep everything covered, I don't want anyone to see what's for my eyes only", he smirked, changing the camera settings and snapping a couple of photos of his favourite view.

"Is this Y/N's letter for Santa? It's still a bit early for that", Jon chuckled as Lando asked him to hold his phone with a notes app titled "Y/N's wishlist".

"It's her wishlist for books she wants to read, and I'm surprising her when she comes home today from her work trip!", Lando smiled, "I'll put them in the basket and you'll make them off, okay?", Lando checked before he began looking for the ones he knew by heart.

"You have two books that are the same here", Jon pointed out, "no, it's not", Lando said as his trainer quirked a brow, "it's not like that, that is; this is a special edition one with pretty pages, they have doodles on them and I know she won't buy it for herself so I'm going to", he smiled.

"You'd think someone dating you would ask for expensive jewelry or bags", Jon chuckled, knowing you weren't with Lando for the money, but he couldn't help but diss at some of the relationships he had seen at the paddock over the years.

"Y/N is not like everyone else - Oh, this one is out already? This is going to be an even bugger surprise then! C'mon, Jon, there are still about ten books left to find!", Lando urged him.

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

[edgeray]

I just read your dragon arle x dragon hunter reader fic and I can't stop rereading it. Can I request either the dragon sibs & arlecchino's pov of the fic or a continuation of the fic (either of just reader's daily life now that they've been adopted by a dragon family or of arlecchino and (maybe) the dragon babies having human forms and surprising the reader with them (maybe both))?

Also could I be 🏹 anon? (I'm not the one who requested dragon arle x dragon hunter reader but damn do I wish I was)

Dragon Hunter Mother Part 2

(Arlecchino x Fem! Reader)

A/N -  Part 1 here I'M BACKKKKKKKKKK. Okay, wow, uh, hi, anons! Yes, you can be 🏹 anon, I added you to the list a while ago. To the anon that was asking for readers to fight off other dragon hunters, if you request again, give yourself a name/emoji like my other wonderful anons :). 🍎 anon, I'm not sure what you mean by real form, but I had the real form for Arlecchino as her human form.  If it wasn't clear, I thought I was just going to combine all three of these into one part, hopefully that's okay with you guys. I wrote this as best as I could. I didn't think the dragon au! would be so liked but guess the world building I pulled from my ass paid off. Reader will be fem just like the first part. Hopefully you guys like this sequel! And hope the world building for this is okay. I don't know why, but I decided to put an excessive amount of stupid world building that probably doesn't make sense… Also made the babies smaller (and I changed this in the first part too) so cuddling them can be better <33 sorry this took so long... hopefully the length makes up for it. 🫶 this makes the longest request I've done so far, and somehow I wrote all of this today... Content warnings / info - creature x reader, arlecchino is a dragon. fem reader, graphic violence, you get called a bitch (sorry), 3.9k words

Being kidnapped adopted by a family of dragons was not on your bucket list, but here you are. At the beginning, you considered running– after all, you had no idea if you were just going to be emergency dragon food or something, though logically you knew that dragons didn't eat humans. You were a hunter, and you were on a job, but you couldn't find it within yourself to pick up the sword again. Not only would that be foolish because there was no fathomable way for you to beat the Father dragon, but the trio of younglings had grown on you in such a short amount of time. It's only been a few weeks, and you feel like you've quickly adjusted to this weird, but cozy family nonetheless. 

The first night you met the dragons quickly became a fond memory to recall back to. What transpired during that night was this: after the babies had successfully calmed down their Father, their Father sat up, growling something to the hatchlings. The large dragon began striding in the direction of where it came from, and the babies left your side to follow. Confusion struck you and you approached the Father dragon.

“Hey, wait, where are you guys–” your own yelp interrupted you as the larger dragon's tail coiled around, picking you up like you were no more than a leaf. You squirmed in its grasp until you were dropped onto the Father’s head. Your eyes widened upon realizing what they were going to do, and you cling onto one of the spikes on the dragon’s head for dear life. The Father dragon flaps its wings a few times, striding backwards, and then begins running. The movements nearly threw you off of the dragon had you not white-knucle gripped onto it, and then you feel the rushing of wind all over you, threatening to blow you away. Your eyes burned from the oncoming torrent, and you shutted your eyes as the frigid night air whips around you, just praying to your archons that you remain alive after this. 

You didn’t know how long you squeezed your eyes shut, but by the time the icy gusts stopped pricking at your skin–only just caressing your skin like a gentle embrace–it’s when you finally opened your eyes. A black canvas dotted with various bright specks greeted your vision, and you gaped silently. You’ve always thought that the night was beautiful, but up close, you were sure of it; it’s entrancing and no short of magnificent. The beating organ inside of your chest thumped rhythmically, and you thought that if you reached out your hand, you would be able to feel the stars on your fingertips. 

You heard a croak beside you and you recalled that you were among dragons. You looked down. The dragon below you tilted their head towards you, glaring back at you over its wings, piercing crossed eyes scrutinizing you. Sheepishly smiling, you rub its head gently with your hand, and you could physically feel it shiver. You relaxed your hold, leaning forward and allowing your front to press against its scale to rest. Turning your head to the side, you watch miniature dragons fly, somehow keeping up with their father. You tentatively peeked down to see how high up you are, and your stomach churned uneasily. Distracting yourself from the terrifying height you’re at, how you can barely see the peaks of the coniferous trees, you try to think where they were taking you. Surely… you weren’t going to be stowed away in their den as emergency food… right? The babies would protect you… hopefully. 

The rest of the ride was smooth; somehow you had not fallen off. They took you to a cave at the base of the mountain in the center of the forest. Inside the cavern, the ground was matted with wool. This must have come from the sheeps that the Father dragon reportedly stole from the nearby villages. You assumed that this is a nest. The red one (should you just give them names instead of referring to them by their colors? You'll call the red one “Ruby” for now), nudged the back of your leg towards the nest, before its siblings leapt into it. Like cats, “Aqua” (short for Aquamarine) circled around a certain area before laying down, its sibling, “Amber,” following it and curling beside it. 

You gazed at “Father” to check for any signs of protest, but it too steps towards the nest before laying down. Its massive body took up the majority of the nest, and it used its tail to gently push “Aqua” and “Amber” closer to it. Seemed like there was no protest from Father. Hesitantly, you approached the nest, feeling like you just stepped onto sacred grounds you didn't belong to. Tentatively, you laid on your side and Ruby went to snuggle against its other siblings. 

Soon, the babies’ snores filled the cavern. Sleep was hard to come by, especially since you were still in your armor and the matting wasn't very comfortable. The cold didn't help either. You ended up just gazing at the wilderness beyond the cave, observing the crescent moon. Eventually, your body became sore from the uncomfortable position, and you figured that slumber wouldn’t come to you soon anyways. Standing up, you made your way towards the exit, just to stretch your legs and take some fresh air. 

Leaning against the entrance, your thoughts ran rampant with wonderings. 

Should you run away? Did you even want to run away? What about your family? What about your job? Well… your family cared about your other siblings more anyways and it wasn't like you liked your job–you've always wanted a break from it. You doubt you could run away from them if you did; dragons had an impressive sense of smell and you wouldn't get very far in this terrain anyways. The babies specifically seemed especially fond of you, and their father tolerated you enough… maybe they had adopted you as their family? If so, then… What was wrong with having a serene life with dragons? 

Well, assuming, again, that they didn't want to eat you. But you didn't want to go back. That life of glory was for someone else. You'd rather live quietly and cozily, even if you were dirt poor. 

“Do you not intend on running away?” 

Your blood froze from the sudden voice, coming from behind you. You whipped around to see a human–no, something that looked like a human–advancing, and you took a step back. You notice the missing large dragon from the nest, only the hatchlings remain, unaware of their missing father. This… creature looked human (a rather pale, tall, and handsome female human) with two spiky, blackhorns peaking above her predominantly white strands, a draconic black and red tail loosely curled around her legs, and black forearms and clawed hands. But the moment you locked eyes with red x-eyes, you knew who she was. Or more like, what she was. 

She was, perhaps, the most breathtaking being you've ever seen, the moonlight making her seem elysian. The embodiment of perfection, for both human and beast, with her voice belonging to those of angels. 

But she was still a dragon, and that thought threw you back to reality. 

“You're human… but a dragon,” you stated matter-of-factly, your flusteredness apparent in your voice.

Her face remained as stoney as her dragon form. “You're correct, Miss Dragon Hunter.” 

This was new. Even if you had extensively researched dragons, you never knew of this. “How?”

“Is that something I should be telling a dragon hunter?” 

You bit your lip. “Is this how ancient dragons were able to stay hidden from us?” You wondered out loud.

“Precisely.” 

“If your human form is female-presenting… Does that mean you're a female dragon? But why? Female dragons take… well, a maternal role, but you serve the paternal role. I thought… that you were a male dragon.” 

“I am indeed a female dragon. However… I never sought out a mate, and so I could not produce my own children. The children,” she gestured at the sleeping hatchlings. “were runts when I found them. Like myself, they had no paternal figure, and the maternal figure naturally abandoned them after birth, so I stepped in.”

You nodded. “Why… did you not kill me?” 

“You fed them. And, with that, I believe they saw you as the maternal figure they lacked. They would be saddened if I killed you. But… considering that you’re a dragon hunter… it's quite a shame,” she remarked threateningly as she extended out her claws, nearing you. Your heart thundered in your ears, fear pumping through every vein. She was going to kill you? 

“Wait, wait. I'll give up. I won't go back. I swear,” you state, stepping back. 

“And why should I believe you?” 

Quickly, you removed the chainmail armor off of you, and with great effort, ripped out the patch stitched onto your shoulder pad. You chucked the armor into a forsaken direction, before you offered the patch to her. “This… this is a symbol of my occupation as a dragon hunter. Without it, I'm nobody. It’s my proof that I'm a dragon hunter. If I don't have it, I can't get any kill orders or receive any weapons or additional aid.”

The dragon raised her brow. A clawed hand took the patch from your hand, before a fire erupted from her palm, effortlessly burning it into ashes. “But how do I know you won't attempt to hurt my family?” She growled.

“I wouldn't. I've… never wanted to be a dragon hunter. I was born into a prestigious dragon hunter family, and I was expected to hunt myself. But… I never wanted to kill dragons.” You tilted your head down, breaking eye contact from her in favor of looking at your feet. 

The dragon stalked towards you until she was only a few inches away. Even in human form, she still towered over you. She pulled you with her tail, which winded around your midsection tightly until she was flushed against you. She gripped your chin in between her clawed fingers. 

“I'll be watching you myself. For now, my children enjoy your presence. But if a single one of them cries so much because of you, know that you will be killed, mercilessly and painfully. Do you understand that, human?”  

“Yes…” You paused when you realized you didn't have her name. You looked at her expectedly. 

“It's Arlecchino.” 

“Yes, Arlecchino. I understand.” Her name sounded right on your tongue.

“Good. Come now, the children are rather quick on noticing my absence from the nest.” Arlecchino expressed, turning back.

“I think I'll stay out here for a while. It's hard for me to fall asleep… it's a bit cold for humans,” you sheepishly admitted. “I'll come back when I'm more tired, I promise.” 

Arlecchino turned around to observe you, noticing your shivering form and the goosebumps on your skin. “I believe I have a solution. Come,” she said, offering her hand towards you. 

You took her hand, and she laid you to the nest again. She laid down on her side first, before urging you to follow her. The nest was comically large compared to the two of you and the baby dragons now that she was in her human form. As you set yourself down, back facing her, clawed hands found their way around your waist before hauling you towards her, her chest pressed against your spine. You hear the flap of a wing, and then the wing is casted over the two of you, acting as a makeshift blanket. You gasped as her hot breath tickled your earlobe, the tips of your ears burning. “Warm enough for you now, human?”

You still had trouble sleeping that night, but for a different reason. 

— 

You learned of the hatchlings' names the day after. Translated to human language from the draconic tongue, “Ruby” was actually Lyney, and his siblings Lynette and Freminet, “Aqua” and “Amber” respectively. Their personalities shone through pretty quickly the longer you stayed with them. 

Lyney, undoubtedly, was the most energetic and clingy, in an endearing way. Always the first one up and stirring up trouble, alongside his younger brother, Freminet–even though Freminet was the shy, considerate one. Lynette was quiet but always present, comparable to a cat when Lyney acted the most like a puppy, and Freminet, a deer. Lyney had once nearly burned down the nest out of sheer eagerness when you surprised them by arriving at the cave with fish when they had just woken up. It didn't take you long to realize that cod was Lyney's favorite, even when you didn't understand dragon language. 

Arlecchino warmed up to you eventually. The first night helped a lot, and so did the children. Standoffish at first, once she realized you had the best intentions in mind for her children she was begrudgingly softer with you. The ‘nestling’ (as the children resorted to calling it after Freminet saw it, having woken up in the middle of the night when Lyney's tail accidentally whacked him) became a nightly occurrence, and you couldn't say that you were complaining. It became evident to yourself that you were attracted to Arlecchino. She was wordlessly sweet, and attentive to you, but especially the children. A powerful, ancient dragon practically bowing down to dragons five times smaller than her was amusing to witness. 

You were able to dissuade Arlecchino's attempts from visiting the nearby villages now that you were able to get the food for the hatchlings. Arlecchino had stopped visiting villages once she was able to obtain a human form, which allowed her to more efficiently metabolize food unlike beforehand. However, upon taking care of the Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet, she needed much more than what the forest could provide, hence the frequent visits. 

Arlecchino did eventually tell you how her human form came to be. Dragons are, first and foremost, creatures created with magic, and so also hold magic. There are two different maturities that dragons reach in their lifetime. The physical maturity, which is when their wings are fully developed and they reach the age when they no longer have to be sheltered. Then, there is the magical maturity, when they learn to properly utilize the magic they're born with once enough magic has been culminated internally over the years. Dragons reach magical maturity after their second molt, and shapeshifting is the most common application; though most dragons like Arlecchino use human forms in order to assimilate into human society. It explains why ancient dragons are rarely ever seen. Draconic magic is unlike anything you've ever seen, incomparable to how humans use it–you couldn't even wrap your head around it. Either way, once Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet reach of age, they too will have human forms. You wondered what they would look like. 

Your life is simple, albeit a bit boring, but nonetheless, you couldn't love it more. You have children that keep you on your toes, and you have… well, Arlecchino, your personal heater at night. It's the cozy life you've always wanted, though you'd like for the nest to be more comfortable, and considerably warmer. 

It's why you’re currently at a nearby town, buying more wool with the money that you had when you were still a dragon hunter. You had traveled with Arlecchino to your hometown to retrieve the money you secretly stashed away, which could have bought a large house in the center of the town. At least, being a dragon hunter wasn't entirely useless. 

You buy your wool and head towards the edge of the forest that bordered the town. The children were waiting for you there, wanting to see what new treats you were getting them. Last time was grilled steak. This time it's dried fruits. It'd be the first time that they tried dried fruits, you hope that they'll like them. As you treach back to where you told them to stay, you notice footprints in the dirt– footprints that weren't yours, and there were multiple of them. All of them seemed to belong to men. Terror struck you in an instant. Why were there people here? People rarely come here. No, it should be fine, it’s just foragers, right? 

Anxiety grips at you as you continue, but it's quickly dispelled once you find the dragons, all safe and sound. You exhale and giggle as Lyney leaps into your arms, while Lynette brushes against your leg and Freminet perches on top of your head. 

“Freminet, you're heavy–” you stop when something snaps behind you. Immediately, you set down Lyney and Freminet before turning around, and your worst fears come to fruition as your sight lands on a group of men coming from the bushes, familiar swords and armor gleaming in the sunlight. Your stomach drops upon the realization. Dragon hunters. And there's about ten of them. Ten of them versus one of you. 

You step in front of the dragons immediately, your hand trailing to the small knife in your pocket. 

“Hey, the old man was right. Following that bitch would lead us to the dragons,” one of them said. “How much is for each head?”

“Well, babies are rare. So a few million Mora per head. Can be ten times more if we get them alive.”

“Get your Father,” you whisper to them, as you push the dragons. They croak worriedly at you, their teeth tugging on your boot for you to come with them. 

“Go!” You yelled a little more assertively. Lynette and Freminet fly off to the direction of the cave, while Lyney remains. You were about to shoo off Lyney too, but then you hear the sound of a bow being drawn. 

It's like you suddenly become possessed, your body moving on automatically as you charge at the archer, short knife in hand. You knock his hand away, making their arrow shoot astray instead of at one of the dragons still flying, before you slit his throat. You narrowly dodge one of the swordsmen's strike, his long-blade an inch away from your chest. Another one from behind you swings, and this time it cuts your side, only shallowly so. You're thankful that your dragon hunter instincts and reflexives are still imprinted on your body, as that's the only thing keeping you alive and allowing you to dodge them. Though they all seem like amateur dragon hunters, compared to you who was the best out of your year, there were still many more of them than you

Another archer draws his bow, but you're still preoccupied with dodging. This foraging knife can barely do shit, and you're hardly able to fend off against the ones surrounding you. The group of dragon hunters split off, half of them chasing towards where Lynette and Freminet went while the other half is currently fighting you.  

No, no, you can't reach him in time, what if he hits Lyney or Freminet–

Fire abruptly emerges, scalding the archer's face making him cry out. The fallen archer's scream successfully distracts the men around you, and you weasel your way out, grabbing Lyney who’s in the process of breathing out fire again and running. You drop your backpack to allow you to run better, but not before making sure you chuck it at one of the hunters. 

“Good job, Lyney,” you praise the hatchling in your arms, stroking his head. 

You had to make sure the group in front didn't find the cave. Lynette and Freminet aren't fast flyers, their wings aren't nearly developed yet. You fear that more archers are with the group in front. Thanks to the lack of weight on you, you're able to evade the ones behind quickly, and catch up to the half of the hunters that had run off earlier. 

The sound of their own footsteps mask yours, and you’re able to stab the swordsman that's lacking behind in the neck, before stealing his sword. His scream attracts the attention from the other hunters and they spin around to face you. Good, they won't be focused on the other dragons now. 

“Lyney, go, please. Your siblings need their big brother,” you whispered, giving the hatchling one more stroke on the head before throwing him up in the air. Lyney, this time, obeys you, flying away but not before giving you one more glance back. It’s just you and five hunters in front of you, another three coming soon. The archers are the most pressing concern, as you rush at them. However, two swordsmen block you from them. 

“No!” You scream as the archers take aim, their arrows aimed at Lyney. You throw your knife, past the blade-wielding hunters and into the back of the head of one of the archers. However, that action cost you your arm getting cut, a long slash down the side of your forearm. You hiss, backing away, but the three of them quickly surround you. There’s still a single archer left. 

“Fuck, what are you even protecting those stupid reptiles anyways? Just tell us where they live and we'll let you live!” 

You only grit your teeth and ready your sword. The only way you can get to the last archer is if you brute force your way, but you can't. You hear footsteps approaching from behind, and the remaining three are already here. 

“We need her alive for now, so she can tell us where it is,” you hear one of them say.

The idea starts settling inside of you–that you're going to die, if it continues like this. You’re not going to tell them where the cave is obviously, even with whatever sick torture they have in plan for you. But were you willing to die now? After you've just achieved the life you had always wanted? You just wanted to live a peaceful life… was this your karma for being a dragon hunter? You swallow thickly, trying to imagine not seeing the hatchlings again or even Arlecchino. In the short time you’ve spent with them, you really have seen them as your own, your family. Ironic that you end up dying for dragons when you yourself were a dragon hunter, huh?

Continuing fighting would be pointless. You’re dead either way, why struggle more? Still… the children are safe. It'd be okay. It'd be okay. They've survived before you, and they'll continue to survive after. Dying would be okay. 

You close your eyes, trying to blink the tears away. It'll be okay, it'll be–

A roar booms through the forest, and then a loud boom, the ground shaking violently underneath you, causing you to tumble onto the floor harshly. In front of you, on top of the crushed bodies of the former dragon hunters, the dragon form of Arlecchino appears. You quickly run to her side, grasping onto one of her legs. Soon, dark red flames escape out of her throat, enveloping the last of the hunters and then, all ten hunters are dead, just like that. 

Once the last hunter falls, Arlecchino immediately turns into her human form, holding you in her arms. You collapse into her arms, the exhaustion from the running and fighting weighing down on you as the adrenaline quickly disappears. 

“The… children?” you're able to pant out as you look up at her. 

“They're safe.” Her eyes hold gratitude towards you. “I thought I lost you.”

“I'm okay, Arlecchino, I promise. Just a few cuts,” you reassure her with a smile, nuzzling into her neck. She sighs and kisses the top of your head. 

“I’m not letting you go anywhere without me anymore.”

“Fine…” 

[wholoveseggs]

how about some pre vampire elijah smut with his secret wife maybe skinny dipping in the river

Springs

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

{Viking!Elijah Mikaelson x Reader} You meet your secret lover deep in the woods, and take him to your favorite spot to spend some time together.

♡♡ Love this idea anon! I decided to change it from a river to a hot spring && Viking Elijah is just a sweetie ♡♡

3.5k words - Warnings: Smutttt, pre-vampire Elijah, shy Elijah, slight breeding kink {its just how the vikings are}, hot springs, lots of Norse mythology, Elijah being protective, steam, snow, Icelandic & lynxes...

@gorgeouslydangerous @starkleila @lydia1369sworld @notleylaaa @vampiresluv

@myanmy @xflowerbombxo @maryvibess @always-and-forever-daydreaming

@spnaquakindgdom @amournoir @meeom @damienmorton @wickedmuse

@cs-please @complicatedandconfusing-25 @youcanhavemybuckanyday @akala6670229 @yeaiamme2

@itsjulzandmydiamonds @witch-of-letters @elijahstwink @rosecentury

@amanda08319 @starshipcookie @li-da-savage @veggie-eggrolls @spideybv28

@sunkissedebony97 @idk00sblog @savannaounana @sekaishell @b1tchy

@loving-and-dreaming @fancycassie-stayfancy @hcqwxrtss123 @iamawkwardandshy @ziayamikaelson

@absolutemarveltrash @darkened-writer @nina6708 @evasmlp

@madeinmyownmind-blog @lovelyy-moonlight @blacknightrises

Soft white flakes were falling from the sky, the sound of them crunching under his heavy boots echoed through the forest as Elijah walked through it. The young man had his hood pulled over his head and his hands in the pocket of his coat, trying his best to keep himself warm from the cold.

You had told him to meet you at your secret spot, the one you had been coming to for years now. It was where the two of you first shared your feelings and had kissed for the first time, it was where you wanted to be when things got too much in the village. It was a place that was just for the two of you. A place you could be free and yourselves, away from the prying eyes of your families.

"I was starting to wonder if you would ever come," you teased, smiling softly at him. Your hair was pulled back out of your face, long braids falling down your back, with a warm fur cape upon your shoulders. 

"Sorry, mother was fussing about the weather and how she didn't want me out in it," he said, smiling back at you.

"She worries for nothing, it is just snow." You shrugged, moving to wrap your arms around him, pulling him closer. "And it is much easier to snuggle with you this way," you giggled, kissing him softly.

Elijah returned the kiss, his hands falling to rest on your hips, smiling against your lips. His perfect pink lips felt soft and warm against yours, as always. His thumbs rubbed small circles on your hip, as the two of you shared a moment together.

"I've missed you my sæt ást {sweet love},” he said softly, looking at you.

You smiled at him, blushing softly, your nose wrinkling up as you did. "I missed you too."

Elijah couldn't help but laugh, loving the little things that you did. He wished he could tell his parents of how happy you made him, but his father would never allow it. Your father and his own had been feuding for years and the thought of the two of you together had always made him angry.

You noticed the change in him, reaching up and cupping his cheek, running your thumb over the stubble. "What is the matter? Talk to me," you said softly.

Elijah smiled softly, nuzzling his cheek into your hand. He loved that you could read him so easily.

"I hate keeping secrets," he said, sighing. "I hate having to sneak around and lie to everyone."

You bit your lip and nodded. "I know...I don't like it either. I grow tired of hearing how much of a disappointment I am."

His eyebrows knitted together. "Why would they say such things?" He asked, frowning.

"Because I'm supposed to find a suitable husband, not spend my time running in the woods like a child," you shrugged.

Elijah's eyes filled with sadness, the thought of losing you made him ache, and he pulled you closer. Even in the deep winter you smelled of summer trees and freshly picked berries. It was a scent he would never get tired of.

"I have a surprise for you, hjartað mitt {my heart}" you said softly, looking up at him.

He arched an eyebrow, the smile returning to his face. "What is it?" He asked, his curiosity peaked.

"Come," you smiled, taking his hand and leading him deeper into the woods.

He admired how quick you were on your feet, no one knew the forest better than you. Elijah had often found himself lost in it, when he would go off on his own. And when you had learned of this, you had spent every spare moment, teaching him where to go and how to get there.

In return he had taught you how to hunt and use a sword, although you would much rather use an axe. He had never met a woman like you before, a woman who was not afraid to speak her mind or try new things. You pushed him to take risks he otherwise wouldn't have, and he was thankful for that. He had fallen hard for you and he would do anything to keep you by his side.

After a few minutes you stopped, the sound of running water could be heard. You led him through the trees, pushing some branches aside as the two of you reached the clearing.

The moon cast a glow over the small pond, the water was crystal clear, and steam rose up from it. Elijah looked at you in shock, and you could only smile.

"I must confess, I've been keeping this place to myself for a while," you said, walking over to the edge of the water.

He watched you kneel down and dip your hand in the water. It was warm. "How is it like this?" He asked, tilting his head.

"A gift from Njord or perhaps Logi himself," you shrugged.

He walked over and did the same. The water was a welcoming feeling and he could already feel his muscles relaxing. Elijah looked over at you, watching as you removed your cloak and let it fall to the ground.

"ástin mín {my love}," he said softly, watching you pull your hair out of its braids.

You turned your head to look at him. "Come, let us enjoy the heat of the water together."

Elijah was hesitant at first, he did not wish to anger your father, or his father for that matter. But, when he saw you begin to undress, all thoughts of going back left his mind.

"You can't come in with your clothes on, my sweet," you giggled, as you slipped off your underdress.

You let it fall to the ground, shivering slightly as you stood in front of him. His face was priceless, his eyes wide, cheeks flushed. You could not help but laugh, shaking your head.

"Come Elijah," you smiled, walking over and undoing his cloak.

He swallowed, his nerves beginning to get the best of him. "But-" he whispered, as you continued to undress him.

"Do you not trust me?" You asked, looking up at him.

His heart pounded as he looked into your eyes. Of course he trusted you. It wasn't that. It was the fact that he was about to be fully exposed to you.

"Yes," he whispered.

You smiled and leaned up, placing a soft kiss to his lips.

"It's not like we haven't seen each other before," you whispered, smiling softly.

He could not help but smile, and he nodded. "Yes, but not...like this."

It was true, you and him had snuck away and had fooled around in the woods once or twice. But, it had never been this intimate before. You never had the chance to be fully exposed, to take your time, it was always a rush of kisses, groping hands and quick pleasures.

You pulled him closer, and kissed him once more. This time the kiss was deeper, and he felt himself melt. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him flush against your body, as you continued to kiss him.

"mér er kalt {I am cold}" you said, smiling against his lips. "muntu halda mér hita? {will you keep me warm?}"

"Já," he whispered, kissing you again.

"Gott" you smiled, pulling away.

The sight of your naked body sent his head spinning, and his mouth dropped open. Elijah could not take his eyes off you, as he watched you slip into the water, your hair flowing behind you. You turned to look at him, beckoning him in, like a goddess from a myth.

Elijah had never taken his clothes off faster, he was careful to not fall over. He stepped into the warm water, the feeling of it enveloping him, relaxing his aching body. The warmth seeping into his bones, the steam rising up into the cold night.

You swam over to him, smiling, and took his hand, pulling him towards the small waterfall. The water was shallow there, and you sat down on a rock, the water covering most of your body.

His hands came to rest on your waist, and he looked at you, his brown eyes filled with lust. He moved closer, his fingers tracing circles over your skin, as his lips ghosted over yours.

You could feel his breath on your lips, as you reached up and cupped his face, pulling him closer. Your lips pressed against his, his hands roaming over your body, as you tangled your fingers into his dark hair.

The two of you stayed like this for a while, just enjoying the feel of one another. It had been a long and cold winter, and it was nice to finally spend some alone time together.

"How long have you known of this place?" He asked, his voice soft, and low.

You shrugged. "Years," you whispered.

"And no one else knows of it?" He asked, arching an eyebrow.

"No, it's our place," you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He could not help the grin that spread across his face. It was their place. Something no one else knew about, no one else could spoil. It brought him a sense of peace he didn't know he needed.

"Perhaps it was not Njord or Logi, but Freyja who blessed this spot," he whispered.

You hummed softly in agreement, running your hands over his shoulders, and down his chest.

"Why do you say that?" You asked, your fingertips dancing over his skin.

"Because," he said, his fingers trailing up your sides. "She approves of our love," he smiled.

You shook your head, a smile on your face, as you pulled him closer, you could feel his cock against your thigh, and it only made you crave him more.

"Perhaps," you whispered. "She wants us to have many children, and we can only do that if we have a place to make them."

"Oh?" He grinned, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your neck.

Your breath hitched, as his lips trailed up your jaw and to your ear.

"You want to have my children?" He whispered, his breath warm on your skin.

You nodded, biting your lip. "More than anything."

He could not help the way his chest swelled, his heart fluttered, at the thought of having a family with you. To be able to hold a tiny version of you in his arms. He knew he would love them as much as he loved you.

"Then perhaps," he whispered, his hands roaming over your body. "We should give her what she wants."

You let out a soft giggle as he lifted you up, placing you in his lap. He sat down on a rock in the shallow end, the warm water coming up to his chest as he held you. He took a moment to look at you, the light of the moon illuminating your skin, making it glow.

"Þú ert svo falleg {You are so beautiful}," he whispered, leaning up and kissing you.

You melted into the kiss, your hands running through his hair. The quiet sound of running water and your soft moans filled the night air, as the two of you took your time with one another.

It was different from all the other times. You had time to enjoy the feel of one another, no longer rushing to be quick. It was a slow and sensual build, as Elijah ran his tongue along your jaw, his lips grazing the sensitive skin.

You were shivering slightly, most of your body was out of the water, but the feel of his body heat, and his warm lips on your skin, kept you from getting cold.

"Elijah," you sighed, your nails digging into his shoulders, as he took a nipple into his mouth.

His tongue swirling around it, causing it to harden. His fingers gently pinching and tugging on the other, making sure they both received equal attention. He could easily get lost in the taste and feel of you, he would worship your body until his dying day.

His eyes were darker than before, filled with lust, his cheeks were flushed. You could feel him twitch between his legs, as you moved closer, his cock brushing against your core.

"Do you remember the first time we were together?" He asked, his hands moving to grip your ass, giving it a soft squeeze.

You nodded, remembering the first time he touched you, how nervous you had been. "I will never forget."

"And do you remember how you asked me to tell you about the stars?" He asked, kissing the valley between your breasts.

You bit your lip and nodded.

"What did I tell you?" He asked, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your hips.

You swallowed, a small whimper escaping your lips, as his hands found your center, his thumb slowly stroking a spot that sent pleasure through your body.

"Y-you said that the Gods gave them to us, so we would have something to look at, w-when we were separated," you whispered.

"And every night I'm not with you, I just look to the sky, and see you," he whispered, kissing along your collarbone. "I know I will be with you again."

Tears welled in your eyes, as you cupped his face, looking into his eyes. They were filled with so much love and devotion, it took your breath away. You rested your forehead against his, positioning yourself above him, as his hands found your hips.

You took a deep breath and nodded, looking into his eyes. You slowly began to lower yourself onto him, the familiar warm feeling of him, sending pleasure through your body. It was the feeling of being complete.

Elijah was lost for words, when the two of you came together, it always felt like the first time. You fit together perfectly, like you were made for one another. He could feel his chest swell, his heart beating rapidly.

You leaned forward, your hands on his shoulders, and kissed him deeply. Elijah was not ready for you to move yet, and he needed a moment to regain himself. You could feel him trembling slightly beneath you, and it made you smile.

"Are you alright?" You whispered, kissing his neck.

"Yes," he breathed, his voice thick with desire.

You smiled against his skin, his scent filling your nostrils. He always smelled of pine and winter air, of comfort and home.

You slowly began to move, his lips finding yours once more. The feel of him inside you was better than you could imagine, the water creating a different sensation than before. Your bodies moved together, the sounds of the forest and the water surrounding you.

He didn't know how long the two of you had been here, it could have been minutes, hours, he was too caught up in you, in the moment. No rush to finish, just the two of you enjoying one another.

The sound of branches breaking made you pause, and your heart jumped in your chest. The two of you froze, peering out into the dark, searching for the source.

Elijah placed his hand on your back, moving you off of him, placing you behind him, as he stood up. You could see the change in him, the warrior within had come out.

He glanced at his sword, left in his pile of clothes, and he cursed himself for leaving it so far away. His body was tense, his breathing shallow, as his eyes scanned the area.

He could hear more rustling, and he felt your hand on his arm, clinging to him. He would not let anyone hurt you, no matter the cost.

The rustling stopped, and Elijah's eyebrows furrowed. His head turned, looking towards the sound, as the branches moved. He could see the shadow of a creature, and he tensed, his fists balling up, as his jaw clenched.

It was too dark to see, the moon had gone behind a cloud, and Elijah was beginning to get frustrated. He heard a soft huff, and two eyes peered out at him, glowing in the darkness.

Your grip on Elijah loosened as the moonlight broke through the trees and illuminated the clearing. A smile tugged at your lips as a large lynx emerged from the woods.

It had been years since Elijah had seen one. Lynxes were rare in the woods, and even rarer to see a fully grown one. They usually stuck to themselves, unless they were protecting their territory, and their cubs. This one was a different color than most, pure white, almost the same color as the snow.

You watched as Elijah took a few steps closer, reaching out his hand. The cat walked over, his tail swaying side to side, his ears twitching. He sniffed Elijah's hand, and nuzzled his nose against it, making him smile.

"You're a handsome fellow," Elijah said, his voice low and soft.

The lynx tilted his head and let out a soft chuff, steam coming from its snout. Elijah scratched behind its ear, the cat closing its eyes and leaning into his touch.

"I've never seen one like him," you said, swimming closer, watching in amazement.

Another branch broke and the two of you turned towards the sound. Your eyes widening, as another white lynx appeared, her fur a little darker than the males. She walked over and bumped her head against his, the two of them rubbing their noses against one another.

The cats walked over and laid down near the water, their coats blending in with the snow. Elijah turned and looked at you, a wide smile on his face, as he swam over to you.

"We're blessed by the Gods," he smiled, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you up into the air.

You could not help but laugh, nodding your head as he pulled you under him, pressing your back against the rocks on the side of the spring.

"Perhaps Freyja is pleased with our love," you said, biting your lip.

"Perhaps she is," he smiled, his fingers trailing over your skin, as his lips found yours once more.  

His hands explored your body, as his tongue explored your mouth. It was soft, yet passionate, a kiss that spoke more than any words ever could.

He spread your legs and eased himself back inside of you, his mouth never leaving yours. You could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and you smiled against his lips. He took his time with you, slowly building up his pace, his thrusts hitting a spot that made your toes curl.

His hands gripped your thighs, holding you in place, as he kissed along your jaw and down your neck. Your moans filling the air, mixing with the sound of the splashing water, the two of you becoming one.

It didn't take long for you to reach your climax, and you were thankful for the warm water surrounding you, because otherwise, you would have frozen. Elijah followed shortly after, his forehead resting against yours, as his hands tangled in your hair.

The two of you were breathless, and you could not stop the laughter that bubbled up. He grinned, pulling you into his arms, and kissing the top of your head.

"I do not wish to leave," he said, holding you close.

"Neither do I," you sighed, wrapping your arms around him. "But, I think the others might come looking for us if we don't return soon."

Elijah let out a sigh, a small pout on his face. "I know," he said, leaning down and kissing you.

A few smaller lynxes ran out into the clearing, their small paws crunching on the snow. Their fur was the same as their mother's, and they were still a bit clumsy, their legs long and unbalanced. They stopped and looked at the two of you, their ears twitching, before darting back into the woods.

"I suppose it's time to go," you said, looking at Elijah.

He nodded, pressing a kiss to your temple, "soon, sæt ást {sweet love}. Let's just stay a little longer."

The two of you stayed cuddled in each other's arms, listening to the sound of the water, the two cats resting by the edge of the pool, their heads resting on their paws. You felt at peace, surrounded by nature, in the arms of the man you loved.

The winter would end, and spring would arrive, but no matter what the season was, you would always have this place. This secret, hidden world that only the two of you knew about. A place where you could come and spend time with one another, without worry, or care.

A place that would always be filled with love, and memories, that would live on forever.

Fun Norse mythology facts!!

Njord is the god of the sea / water. Logi is the god of fire. Freyja is the goddess of love and fertility, her chariot is pulled by two cats, the only large cats in northern Europe are lynxes!

[jinnie-ret]

FIC RECS

Ok so someone in my asks box asked me for some fic recommendations and I tried to add some gradually but my asks have been so weird recently so I've had to make a new post for them!

First of all ty anonnie you words were really sweet, I hope you stay healthy too!

Also just to preface I will list sfw and nsfw recs so pls if you are a minor, do not explore the nsfw recommendations, these blogs will most likely have a mdni statement so pls respect that and don't go against that :)

Now, enjoy!

SFW

Enough for you - @mixtape-racha (poly ot8 angst comfort)

We love an angst comfort fic and this is one of my faves. Take caution reading this one and read the content warnings at the top just in case! But this one is simply amazing and I wish I wrote it the end.

The Field Trip - @dreamescapeswriting (Seungmin X reader)

Seungmin and reader are teachers in this and if you follow me you may have seen me reblog this one before bc I love it and want this, also this blog has so many imagines you will be fed for days

Warm blankets - @jiniret-writings (3 parts, hurt comfort poly ot8 x reader)

I felt so emotionally invested in this story when I read it, like I felt readers pain 😭 gorgeous

jack-in-the-box -@junicai (angst, ninth member reader)

Set in kingdom. We hate mnet. Skz are very protective and reader gets the comfort she deserves in the end, love this sm!

@hyunjinsbelovedamericano - lots of headcanons and reaction type fics on their MASTERLIST, give it a look!!

Simptober 2023 - @skz-streamer

Fluff for days!!! pookie rly worked hard on this one so go and show some love because you've got so much to read here

Skz text aus - @channiesbakery

These are so so funny I cannot cope. Also explore the other fluff posts too bc they're really cute!

More text aus - @diddybok

Same goes for this blog too, explore their other stuff!

@hannahhbahng has some rly cute fluffy reads on their masterlist

@hanjiquokkaaa check out their skz reactions! My pookie slays every time

Skz fluff fics - @wooahaes

So much fluff to pick from! I fall in love every time!

Warm milk and honey - @horanghoe (poly skz x reader)

One of my fav skz comfort fics of all time, it's so so good, recommending again bc I should

In his arms, unexpectedly yours - @cheesemonky (Hyunjin x reader series)

This is a new series which I'm excited to see my pookie write !!!

@astraysimp for dad skz!!!

Nicholas Ross - @dean-a-mean-tae (skz ninth member male oc)

Love their ninth member writings so definitely check it out if you're looking for male!oc who is the ninth!

In my past, I find you and in the future, I still have you - @yangbbokari (Chan x reader)

Heartbreaking, like so angsty but it's gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous

Princess treatment with SKZ - @j-oneproduces

Each individual member x reader has a drabble and I love it so so much, very accurate imo

@skzoologist read their imagines on their ninth member oc Bae! They also have a fic called unfamiliarity using the same oc :)

I like the view - @mirisss (hybrid ot8 skz X reader)

I rly need to reread this one because I loved what I read so far on it!!!

NSFW

Rabbit hybrid reader - @authorofdanger (hybrid skz x hybrid reader)

I've linked a masterlist, I'd recommend the fic dominance and then the first few fics which are to do with reader as a rabbit hybrid! slight warning that woojin is mentioned

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Red Moon - @lixiepeach (omegaverse series)

this is one of the first skz omegaverse fics I read and it is done so beautifully, as it says in the description of the series, it deals with more adult content than just smut, and the way it is explored is written so well, couldn't recommend highly enough!

Inked Petals and Message Tones - @leviackermanscleaningbuddy (poly smau with real life)

this is an ao3 skz fic which changed my life. I can't explain how much I love this, it had me on an emotional rollercoaster fr fr like it's amazing!

n.h.i.e mini series - @hyungszn (smut ot8 x reader)

damn this one really has me on my toes like the chapters are chefs kiss and it's such a good read!

Bold - @hyunsvngs (American footballer minsung x reader)

Wow wow wee wow. This one made my brain go brrr and evaporate and melt and wow the storyline in it is so so good too. Juno rly has such a good relationship with anonnies and moots and it's so lovely to see. A jupiter stan right here!!

Sanguis Limerence - @jl-micasea-fics (vampire skz x reader)

This is one of the first series I was fully committed to reading on this all and constantly checking. It's insanely amazing, I can't put it into words and now I wanna read it all back again 😭

waiting for us - @kkami-writes (smau poly ot8 X reader)

I'm in love with this!!! Perhaps my fav skz smau like the character development as well is really nice to see and it's an easy read if you find it easier to read it in text messages form

Anger management - @2chopsticks2eyes (minsung x reader)

This is so hot and the way the storyline progresses as well is beautiful

@1-800-shedevil I'm in awe of her and her blog. Gorgeous writer, gorgeous writing. Her posts about body positivity rly are so helpful and her words are so comforting

Sharing = caring - @cbini (ot8 X reader)

This is unbelievably good and if you haven't seen it yet? Do you even Tumblr? Love how ems has such a good relationship with moots and in answering asks too! cbinian for life

Better than revenge - @lixie-phoria (smau Jeongin x reader)

I'm so obsessed with this series so far, putting it here bc there's smut to be added in the future. But I'm in love with it so far wow!!!

[jals-stuff]

a routine.

Orter Madl x f!reader

Obnoxious, sour, call him whatever you want, Orter Mádl couldn't care less about what people thought of him. You can’t help but wonder if that’s what you find attractive, or if you just have a thing for authoritative, serious-looking jerks (because I do).

Warnings: slight angst? orter is a jerk, hurt (just a bit) with comfort, reader being too nice.

Word count: 3.4k words

Note: again with no sleep, sorry for any spelling mistakes, don't stone me to death. thought about making a part 2 for this, no clue yet let me know what y'all think. (i swear i have never simped for a man that hard before)

definitions at the end, but it doesn't matter if you don't read them so no worries! enjoy-

Indeed, Orter was a man who would sweat for the status quo to be protected. If this man had his name on an alignment chart, the creators would have to make up something like “lawful lawful”. That is how lawful Orter Mádl gets. It didn’t matter to him how people perceived him, or whispered to each other whenever they saw him walk through the large corridors of the Bureau of Magic. Few things mattered to him in fact, but if he had to put them into a list, it would look like this:

Making sure rules and order are respected

Staying undisturbed during working hours (and out of working hours, too)

Not doing anything unnecessary.

He had a very specific routine he followed almost perfectly everyday, and so far, nothing had pushed him to change it. No one had, either, because from an ordinary person’s point of view, Orter was nothing else than a sour workaholic, strict, obnoxious man. Most women (and some men as well) who worked at the Bureau always seemed to look to the ground when crossing his path, while the other ones were too busy gossiping about him being a potential serial killer, since he was “so calm and quiet”. But one (wo)man’s trash is another (wo)man’s treasure and surely enough, you were one hell of a hungry raccoon lady. 

You had been working at the Bureau for almost a year now, and since the very first time your eyes had landed on him, you knew he was the one you wanted. And since that day, you were one of the only people who even dared speak to him— if you don’t count the other Divine Visionaries as people (because Kaldo’s… obsession¹ with honey made him a creature, and not a human being, we have to be honest here). 

You’d always greet Orter when meeting him in the morning, or wish him to have a nice break time when he’d actually allow himself to take a break, and he would simply greet you back, always giving you the same confused look. Simply seeing him illuminated your days and kept you going through your seemingly unending workload. Yet, as much as you enjoyed these small interactions, the same couldn’t be said about him. 

Orter didn’t dislike these despite the way he looked down at you everytime you greeted him. He simply wasn’t used to such… fervour² from any of his other colleagues. You were certainly very passionate, and he had to put in a lot of effort not to just immediately send you away whenever you’d bring him coffee when you had free time or simply try to chat a little when you were to give him a report. 

It wasn’t against you or anything specifically, but Orter was a firm believer that saving energy was the move. After all, why bother doing anything that is unnecessary? 

Even if it, indeed, was nothing personal, you were pretty much everything he disliked. Noisy, talkative, full of energy, sPEED, and quite naive as well. The embodiment of a child who has been given too much sugar and is now experiencing the zoomies. 

And so, like an uninvited grain of sand in his eye, you slithered your way into his daily routine. Each morning, before entering his office, he knew he would encounter you at this specific time of the morning shift, by turning this corner. It happens everyday, and it will happen again today. He knows you get your break at 10:05 am and usually will knock on his office door at exactly 10:11 am to bring him your reports as well as some coffee you grabbed for him.

He knows that in the afternoon, usually between 3:48 pm and 4 pm, you’ll find an excuse— any excuse to bring him some pastries, or any kind of snack with another cup of coffee, but this time a bit more sugary. 

He has gotten used to it now, but he still cannot quite understand why you’re spending so much energy on him, and when Orter doesn’t understand something, he gets frustrated. He does not often interact with anyone, and so the fact that people around him might have feelings is completely unbeknownst to him, or so it seems. 

...

It’s approximately 4pm on that day and, as usual, you knock on his door. He looks up from his paperwork and just mutters to come in, knowing damn well it’s you. But this time, you’re not bringing any coffee or snacks. You just hand him a report you had written, as usual, and he notes that you look a little nervous.

You patiently wait for him to read through your carefully written report. He gives a nod, not even a word, as usual, and this time, instead of immediately leaving, you decide to speak up.

“Umm..” you start, and you start wondering whether this is a good idea or not. He’s looking at you now, in all of his cold, emotionless expression. “So… would you maybe… like to have your coffee break with me this time…?” you ask, looking away a little bit.

He leans against his chair’s backrest at the suggestion. He could definitely use a break and some coffee right now, but he isn’t sure if he can take the amount of energy you’ll be talking with for the whole duration of your time together.

“With you?” He asks, and you’re unsure if he means this in a mocking way, or if he’s just asking. You shyly nod and he adjusts the position of his glasses a little bit. “I could use a break,” he starts “but I’m not sure I can handle more of your… eagerness to converse³.”

It hurts quite a lot; you knew Orter had always been blunt, but to hear it from his mouth was something else. Were you really bothering him that much? Maybe he didn’t mean it in a bad way? After all, he did have a lot of work, and of course he’d like to free his mind a little bit and enjoy peaceful silence with his afternoon coffee. He quickly takes note of your nervous squirming and your lack of response.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” he finally says after what seemed like an eternity “I don’t want this headache to get any worse.”

A headache. Was this really all you were to him?

“I.. can stay quiet if you’d like me to, but I would really like to have—”

“No, thank you. I’ll have coffee on my own. ” He cuts you off, looking back to his paperwork, probably very oblivious to the fact that he just hurt you deeply. “I don’t understand why you’re so eager to interact with me when all I’m really asking for is to be undisturbed.” Was it personal, or was it because of his lack of human interaction? Well, both meant the same to you, if you really were the only person he interacted with, it was directly against you.

You didn’t know what to say. You wouldn’t give up on him, of course, but your entire personality had just proven to be a nuisance to him, and you weren’t sure how you’d recover from this one. You had been standing for a minute, looking at the ground in front of his desk, before his authoritative voice you loved so much pulled you out of your overthinking.

“Anything else?”

You shake your head ‘no’ and promptly exit his office now. It sounded clear to you that you were a disturbance to him, and it was the complete opposite of what you wanted to be. But again, no matter how bad his rejection felt, you decided you’d be a little more like he wished you’d be: invisible, silent.

You made a mental note to change your behaviour around him and stop being so clingy and noisy all the time, then maybe, if you destroyed this personality of yours he seemed to loathe, maybe he would look at you. Even just once.

...

Orter arrives at the Bureau the next day as usual, and already knows you’ll be just around the corner where he meets you everyday. He gives a sigh and walks around… to find no one. He blinks a few times in surprise, but simply assumes you’ll be somewhere else, ready to greet him…. But there’s no sign of you. Or rather there is one, but it’s only the usual morning coffee you give him, and it’s sitting on his desk inside his office. You, on the other hand, aren’t here.

“Probably a different schedule today.” he thinks and quickly dismisses it to sit at his desk and remove his coat. He takes a few sips of the warm coffee and sighs before diving into his unending paperwork again.

As expected, there is a knock on his door at 10:11 am. He lets you come in and is pleased to see you’re still bringing him some coffee, along with your usual report. You quietly greet him and hand him the papers as you put the tall coffee cup on his desk, and await his review. Again, he gives you a nod and puts the papers back into his drawer, and as he looks up from his paperwork again to listen to your usual morning talk, he’s surprised to see you leave his office without a word.

“Probably has more work today.” he thinks, dismissing the change in your behaviour as the man sinks into his paperwork once more. You, on the other side, are only hoping your efforts aren’t vain. You’ve practised staying silent for a bit and you think you’re nailing it, honestly. All for the sake of the obnoxious, lawful man.

It doesn’t occur to him even once that you might be in emotional pain from his words; he isn’t well versed with other people’s feelings— and probably not his own either. You probably have more work today, and that’s why you’re not as talkative as usual. Or maybe you’re tired. Are you sick?

He stops himself for a second and takes off his glasses to rub his eyes a little; no. No, no. It shouldn’t matter to him whether you are ill or simply tired. He has too much work to do to care about one of his coworkers.

Roughly around 3:50 pm, you knock on his door again, bringing in the usual pastries and sweet coffee. Now, he’s wondering which excuse you found to visit him as he crosses his hands on his desk and looks at you intently.

His eyes on you start to feel uncomfortable. It’s like he’s tearing your soul open and trying to figure out what’s going on in this little skull of yours⁴, and really, it isn’t just an impression. He was expecting you to ask him out again, or talk about the weather, complain about your workload, but none of these words escape your mouth. A simple, polite “have a good afternoon”, and you’re gone immediately.

Your schedule must really be something else for you to quit pestering him about your state of mind like you used to do. But again, he takes a bite of the delicious pastries you brought him, and keeps working in religious silence as he occasionally takes a sip of the sweet coffee you delivered.

Time flies fast, and it’s already evening. You clock out, as one does, and as you walk away from your office, you encounter Orter, who seems to be clocking out at the same time. And this is when the overthinking kicks in. Is he going to think you waited for him? Will he believe it was a mere coincidence? What if he thinks you’re being clingy and annoying for clocking out at the same time? 

But your thoughts come to an end as he simply walks away without a word; maybe he just doesn’t care. Right, maybe he just doesn’t care. It probably didn't matter whether you were quiet or talkative, hyper or calm. He probably didn’t care.

...

The next morning, you arrive earlier at the Bureau, as you did yesterday, and fulfil your morning routine: getting a few snacks for yourself, and a tall coffee for Orter. But unfortunately, the cafeteria is a bit more crowded than usual, and you end up exiting it at the same time you usually did. 

He encounters you again at the very same corner, and he is now convinced you simply had a rough schedule yesterday, but as he was about to greet you, you simply hand him the coffee and walk away towards your office without a word. 

The day goes on like the previous one; you barely exchange any words with him, and he makes no effort to change this. You’re quiet, reserved now, and you just internally pray that he will like you more. This isn’t you, but you will be whoever he wants you to be, if there’s the slightest chance that he will look at you.

What you were completely clueless about was how this little change of yours was affecting him. At first he didn’t think much of it, but he had gotten used to your nonstop talking, to your cheerful voice when you greeted him, and to the very specific hours you’d come to visit him and ask him out or talk about everything and nothing. 

Orter was going nuts. The routine he had gotten used to was crumbling for reasons unknown, and he couldn’t understand why, it was beyond his power. The grain of sand in his eye⁵ had become an entire desert, and the frustration was great enough that he could barely focus on his work anymore. Something was missing. He needed to figure it out quickly.

His focus was long gone, and all he could think about was why the usual, cheerful girl who always greeted him with a smile and warm coffee had become so… dull and painfully normal. Had you been sick the whole time? Why did he even care in the first place?

But as much as he disliked admitting it, he had grown quite fond of your behaviour, even though his words had proven to oppose this fact. He needed to make sure of what was lacking in his daily routine now. You were still here, you still brought him coffee everyday, did your job correctly… What could be missing?

His mind was a complete mess and he could not get you out of his head for some reason, which made him even more annoyed. You were such a headache and a nuisance, right? He couldn’t possibly be going insane from the lack of… you?

As usual, at 10:11 am sharp, you visit his office with your daily report and his coffee. This time though, he doesn’t take the papers from your hands and just crosses his legs, looking straight into your eyes. “I would like you to read it out loud for me.”

Read it out? You ask yourself, why couldn’t he read it himself? But again, we are talking about Orter Mádl; this man could tell you to get on all fours and bark, and you would gladly do it without giving it a second thought.

“...right.” You started, a little confused at his sudden request. “The Bureau’s investigation on Magol Castle…”

Your words grew distant to him, but not your voice. He wasn’t listening, he was listening. He felt himself oddly soothed at your tone, for once, as he kept trying to find this missing piece of the jigsaw. But it was as if his focus had returned and he could finally get back to work. As soon as you stopped talking, he extended a hand for you to give him the reports, and you did.

“Good, very good. I’ll read it again later.”

You stood in awe for a second; Orter had just praised you. Your efforts were working, and now you just had to keep going and stay quiet most of the time. You gave a polite nod and walked away from his desk. 

“Wait.”

That was it. You were the missing piece. But it made no sense, since you hadn't left, you were still here with him at the very moment... but then why did it feel like you weren't?

You turn around as you hear him speak and you just stand there, waiting for him to keep going. The silence is heavy and it seems like an eternity before he finally speaks up again.

“You’ve been… quiet.” He remarks, his eyes never leaving yours, and you couldn’t tell whether he meant this in a good or a bad way. Of course, his expressions always suggested that everything he said was to be taken in a bad way, but you knew better than to assume anything, especially about Orter Mádl. “Why?” he asks, and there’s an undertone of desperation in his voice. He sounds like he’s at his wit’s end.

At this point, you can’t really do anything else than speak up and tell the truth, can you? So you take a few steps towards his desk and nervously fiddle with the hem of your shirt.

“I… do not wish to be a nuisance or give you a headache.” You simply reply, in all of your honesty, and he looks at you, clueless and distraught now. Was that the reason why you had been silent the entire time? Were you driving him completely crazy because of what he said to you?

He buries his face in his hands and sighs. His glasses were slightly falling from his nose now that his hands were rubbing it entirely. You walk around his desk and gently push his glasses back in place, his state worrying you a little bit. You had never seen him being affected by anything before, so you were a bit confused.

“Are you alright..?” You quietly asked, not daring to touch him too much, lest he’d find you clingy, but the man sighed loudly once again and cleared his throat, his hands crossing against his desk again.

“You are driving me insane, (Y/N).”

You’ve never heard him speak your name before, and it felt… rather nice. You couldn’t tell if his words were meant to be good or bad though, so you only stood next to him and waited for him to speak up again. An uninvited feeling of guilt made its way to your heart and you couldn’t help but feel like all of this was your fault. You only wanted him to look at you, to make his life a little easier… but instead, you had somehow wrecked it.

After what seemed like an eternity, Orter was still dead silent, and you had to do something.

“I… I’m sorry…” you mutter quietly, not fully sure of what you did, but feeling the urge to apologise anyway. His state was more than concerning and you were the cause for it. “I… meant no harm, with whatever I did to you…”

And then something hits him. A feeling he’s probably rarely felt before: guilt. He looks up at you, and you clearly look like you’re holding back your tears as you shamefully look away from him. It takes all of his energy not to get angry— but at himself this time. He was the one who caused this situation, not you.

“It wasn’t your fault, only mine.” He sighed as he took off his glasses and started wiping them to distract himself from your sad expression that was awakening a myriad of new feelings within him. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I… did get quite used to your company. Please, feel free to speak as much as you want.”

He looks up at you, and despite the fact that he still isn’t smiling, his eyes are softer now, his expression is gentler and his voice has lost its authority. He is just asking you to speak to him. It isn’t even an order, he is actually pleading.

You can’t help this slight blush from creeping up to your cheeks as you try to regain your composure. You had gotten praised by Orter today, and he even pleaded with you and apologised? It was clearly your lucky day, so you thought you might as well try your luck. You cleared your throat a little.

“A-hem… so… maybe you… would like to have coffee with me this time?” You ask, timidly.

Orter merely chuckles, still not letting his face sport the ghost of a smile. He simply pushes his glasses up to his nose and stands up, pulling his coat back to his shoulders. 

“I would love to.”

¹: this man will cover his sashimi in honey and proclaim it’s still edible.

²: read → insistence. 

³: nonstop yapping.

⁴: empty, hollow. Not a single thought behind those eyes— or so he thinks.

⁵: you, sorry.

[bosbas]

Chapter 8: no one wanted to play with me as a little kid

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: benedict bridgerton x best friend!fem!reader WC: 3.4k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, idiots in love being idiots in love (sort of. it's like pre idiots in love. on the cusp of idiots in love), fluff (so much fluff)

Summary: You and Benedict have been best friends since childhood, but things change dramatically once you come out in society. You’re struggling to find someone you’re as compatible with and who knows you as well as Benedict, all while trying to quell your ever-growing feelings for him. Shenanigans ensue.

A/N: you know what. let's pretend all of the ages/years make sense. kisses to all of you!

December 4, 1809 - Dearest, loveliest, most wonderful Y/I (your initial),

I am so sorry I have not written in almost two weeks, though I did enjoy the very strongly worded letter you sent me reminding me of this fact and demanding a response. I wish I had a better excuse, but truthfully, this term has just been hectic. But to answer the question you so politely asked: yes, I will be home in time for Christmas, and I will be staying for New Year's and your birthday (your birthday is not even two weeks after Christmas, darling, give me some credit!). Though I rather think you owe me a present instead of the other way around after calling me an oblivious toad.

As an apology for my silence, I've attached my reading list for the courses I am taking at Oxford this term so you can also read them. I am sure you will be able to find them in your library but do let my mother know if you cannot find them. We should also have copies in our library. I will be heading back to Aubrey Hall in ten days to see the lot of you, and I will eagerly be awaiting all of your thoughts on this term's reading.

Yours, B

You couldn't help the excited gasp that left your lips as soon as you were finished reading Benedict's letter. You hadn't even managed to leave your entryway before you hastily opened the envelope addressed to you, blurting out a thank you to your slightly startled butler, who had been taken aback by your eager rifling of the mail. 

Now that Benedict was at Oxford, you barely got to see him at all, so you were more than a little excited when you read that you would only have to wait ten more days to see him. The three weeks he was home for the winter holiday were the bulk of your in-person interactions with him for the year, as had been the norm for the past three years he had been at university. 

It wasn't all bad, though. Proof of that lay in a box in your bedroom filled with every single letter or note you had received from Benedict while he was away at Oxford. Even the short ones, when he was studying for an exam and barely had time to write a coherent response, had found a place inside your box. You supposed the box contained most of your friendship with Ben over the past three years, neatly organized by date from oldest to newest and separated by term. 

Sometimes, you found yourself missing Benedict more than usual, and you would read through your favorite of his letters. Often, it ended up being the shortest notes that were the sweetest and ones you would read over and over. Even years after he had sent the letters, you found comfort in his messy scrawl after an afternoon playing Pall Mall without Benedict and his typical banter. But once you saw him at Aubrey Hall every December, it would be like no time had passed at all. You kept him up to date on everything happening at home with your family and his, and he told you wild stories from his time at Oxford. 

And although you enjoyed hearing about his life, it was also bittersweet. You were so jealous of him, wishing more than anything that you could go to university, too. But alas, the pesky issue of your gender prevented you from furthering your education. You got as close as you could, though. Benedict would send you all of his readings every term, and you enjoyed discussing the books you read at length when he returned for the holiday season. 

This is not to say that your conversations about literature and art were limited to your in-person time. In fact, most of your correspondence was about the books you were reading or the galleries you had gone to. Ben could spend pages and pages talking about a particular part of a painting, the way the artist had captured the way light filtered through the trees. And you loved every bit of it, engaging in your usual discussions. In a way, if you ignored how much you missed him, it was lovely to have a physical representation of your friendship. 

However, you would soon stop being constrained to receiving correspondence from Ben every few days, and you could simply knock on his door if you were particularly interested in talking about an aspect of your book. Your time at Aubrey Hall had become your favorite time of year, three weeks of daily interactions with your best friend being the absolute best birthday present you could've ever asked for. 

But this year was different. This was the last time you would have to say goodbye at the end of the holidays, seeing as Benedict was graduating in the spring and returning from Oxford permanently. To say you were over the moon was an understatement. You could barely wait to spend hours in his studio watching him paint again or reading aloud to him under the shade of the tree in your backyard on particularly warm days. 

---

August 12, 1799 - Y/I, I thought you would like this one. Yours, B

Bypassing Alex and Anthony having a heated debate about who was better at billiards, Benedict headed straight in your direction across the garden, ignoring Daphne, Colin, Theo, and Bastian, who had been playing some team game that devolved into an argument. Benedict patted your head as he came by to sit beside you on the grass, momentarily drawing your attention away from the massive book on your lap.

Grabbing the book from your lap and transferring it to his own, he asked, "So, what do you think?"

You let out an excited squeal, shaking Benedict's nearest arm with both hands. "It's amazing, Ben! An entire book about flowers, who knew? I've spent hours looking at it already, and I'm not even halfway through! It's got so much information I could die. It's incredible. Thank you so much." Though it was left unsaid, Ben knew these were hours you would have otherwise spent alone. The twins were especially adamant about not having you play with them, and Alex and Anthony were too caught up in their never-ending competitions to pay any attention to you. With your mother and his being occupied with the toddlers, Francesca, Cass, and Eloise, who had only just begun to walk and talk, you and Ben were truly the only odd ones out. But it was no bother to him. He loved when you read aloud to him, and you would happily listen to him talk about his sketches for hours on end, something he could not say about any other member of the Bridgerton-Beaumont cohort. 

Ben could only laugh fondly at your excitement, internally very proud that he had found a book you really enjoyed. "It's called an encyclopedia. There are loads of them about just about anything and everything in the world," he told you, leafing through the book himself. Gently pushing the book back in your direction, he prodded, "Well, go on then. Show me your favorite flowers so far." 

Grabbing the book, you hastily turned the pages until you reached the flowers, starting with the letter 'd.' Standing up, you rushed to the nearest corner of the garden and dug around for a few seconds, coming back with a bunch of small white flowers clutched in your small hands. 

Ben let out a short laugh, but you quickly shushed him, whining, "Stop it! It'll make sense in a second, I promise."

"I didn't say anything!" responded Ben defensively, putting his hands up in the air but unable to conceal the smile you had elicited from him. 

"Okay. Look at the page. The daisies. They're also called Bellis perennis, but that's in Latin. We have them here in the garden! Isn't that lovely?" you said excitedly, placing the flowers beside Ben.

"Oh, that is quite nice, Y/N," he responded, picking one of the daisies up and placing it behind your ear, eliciting a bright smile from you. "Did you know that a Violet is a type of flower? And so is a Primrose."

"You mean both our mums have flower names? That's so fun. I wish everyone could have a flower name," you responded, excited to have learned new information. 

"You could always give your daughters flower names," Ben suggested, enjoying the pure joy you were getting out of this.

"Well, before I have daughters, I would have to get married. And I don't want to do that! I just want to keep reading books. I want to read every single encyclopedia in the world!" you exclaimed, reaching your arms as high as they could go. 

Ben laughed, highly amused by your antics. "Just like me, then. Except instead of reading it's painting," he responded as he laid down fully on the grass, looking up at the sky and feeling particularly thankful that someone understood how he felt. On the other hand, you took the opportunity to dump all of the flowers you had picked onto his torso, arranging and rearranging them into different designs. He could only laugh, not at all bothered that his shirt would surely be dirty now, just happy to watch you enjoy yourself. 

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you spoke up as you tried unsuccessfully to stack the flowers on top of each other. "That's perfect, then. We can get married, I can read, and you can paint, and we can have a daughter and give her a flower name."

"That sounds wonderful! I'm glad that's sorted," he laughed, lifting his head to find you flashing a toothy grin. "D'you like the name Daisy for our daughter, then?"

"That's lovely! And you can paint her a painting of a daisy for her room!" you responded eagerly. Benedict hummed in assent, busy imagining the dynamics of a blissful imaginary marriage. 

---

January 3, 1810 - Y/I, Happiest of birthdays, darling. Come downstairs, where I have a proper gift and card waiting for you. Yours, B

As you came downstairs, you already feared the fate that awaited you. Every year, your birthday would begin with a very extreme and frankly excessive snowball fight involving all the Bridgerton-Beaumont children. You could trust no one. Alliances would easily crumble under pressure, and people were just as likely to betray their siblings as they would someone from the other family. You and Benedict, ordinarily inseparable, could become sworn enemies in the span of two snowballs. You couldn't even trust sweet Hyacinth, only seven years old, to be loyal to any team, seeing as she was an outstanding double agent, a lesson you had all learned the hard way. It was absolute chaos, and you loved every second of it. It didn't matter how old you were; this was always the best part of your birthday.

As soon as you stepped outside, a snowball the size of your fist hit your right shoulder. Slowly turning toward the perpetrator, you narrowed your eyes once you saw it was Gregory, who had helped you defeat Bastian and Francesca in one fell swoop last year. Clearly, that alliance was gone, and you would have to find someone else to rely on this year. 

Since it was your birthday, the fight officially started when you threw the first snowball, and this year, you chose to throw it at Cassandra, your own sister, who had annoyed you at dinner yesterday by incessantly flinging peas at you. Once the tightly packed ball left your hand, all hell broke loose. You were hit in the stomach and leg simultaneously as you fired snowballs in every direction you could, laughing as you did. 

You briefly ducked behind a tree trunk, needing a moment to breathe. You took advantage of the fact that you weren't a target to form a massive snowball. You carefully stepped away from behind the trunk, checking that the coast was clear. Without a second thought, you flung the snowball as hard as you could in the direction of the person closest to you. 

Unfortunately, it hit Benedict straight in the face, blinding him for a few moments. Your mouth hung open, trying not to laugh because you knew you had packed quite a bit of force into your throw. You ran to Ben's side, apologizing as much as possible without bursting into laughter. He cleared the snow from his eyes and turned to you slowly, an evil grin forming on his face. 

"I believe you have just declared war, Miss Beaumont," he said finally. 

You screamed and ran in the opposite direction, knowing he would be absolutely merciless. You couldn't even look back, not wanting to slow down. After a few seconds of frantic sprinting, you felt Ben tackling you onto a massive pile of snow. Both of you were laughing hysterically while trying to catch your breath. He turned you over so you were lying down side by side, both of you panting heavily, looking up at the winter sky. 

"I miss you," you said finally, turning your head toward him, only to find that he was already looking at you. He pulled you closer, wrapping both arms around you tightly before he helped you up and brushed the snow off of your coat. 

"I know. I miss you, too. But it'll only be like this for a short while longer, and then you can come round every day and read to me while I paint, yeah?" he said, lifting your chin to look at him. 

Your breath caught in your throat, and you felt your heartbeat quicken, his brown eyes not letting yours go. Your eyes flickered to his mouth briefly, your lips parting slightly. Looking back at his eyes, you saw something flash in them that you couldn't quite parse, an expression you hadn't seen before. Finally, you nodded, letting him pull you into him and kiss your forehead, enjoying the warmth and comfort you felt as you were wrapped tightly in his arms.

---

September 17, 1805 - Y/I, I can't believe you had a book about the exact artist I was talking about! I'll pop by yours later to say a proper thank you. Yours, B

Benedict walked into your sitting room, sprawling on the couch before you with his arm behind his head, silently waiting for you to look up from your book. But you had just gotten to an exciting part, and your eyes remained glued to the page, ignoring your best friend's attempt to get your attention. 

You heard him huff and muttered a soft "Just a second, Ben" as your eyes raced across the page, eager to know what happened next. In response, he slid further down the couch and crossed his arms, eliciting a laugh from you and finally drawing you away from your book. 

"You were barely waiting ten seconds, Benedict!" you exclaimed, secretly pleased he was so eager to see you. He was leaving for Oxford in a few weeks, and although you were trying not to think about the reality of him going, you were acutely aware that you would soon be unable to see him every day.

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly, responding with a teasing, "It felt like ten years!" 

In recent months, the two of you had become inseparable. Your days were spent reading next to him as he painted, listening to him talk about his most recent artworks, or going for nature walks if you found yourself in Aubrey Hall. Anything to keep him close by before he left for Oxford, you reasoned. Though you couldn't help the growing affection, you were feeling, finding it impossible to look away when he tousled his hair just so and being a bit too pleased every time he complimented you. Every handsome smile or cheeky wink he sent your way lit you up inside, melting your heart just a little bit.

The problem was, and of course, there was a problem, that Benedict was always like this. Nothing about his demeanor had changed; your friendship was still the same as it had always been. Except now you found yourself spending a little too much time in the mornings making sure your hair looked good in case he popped by unannounced. Regardless, you knew Ben did not reciprocate your affections, so you tried to ignore these feelings as best as you could, folding them up very small and tucking them neatly in the corner of your heart for later examination.

Now, you found yourself on a couch against a wall of Benedict's studio, reading Romeo and Juliet as he was quietly sketching. This was quite possibly your favorite thing to do. Spend quiet afternoons together, reading and painting, enjoying each other's company. You took a moment to look at him as he scrunched his nose, unhappy with a certain aspect of the sketch. 

He sighed and looked up at you, nodding toward your book. "What has Shakespeare got to say today?"

"That marriage is a death sentence," you replied, voice deadpan. 

Ben burst into laughter. "Oh, come off it. It can't be that bad in real life. That's only a play! Besides, you've still got a while before you have to think about that," he tried to reason with you.

"Well, maybe. But it just sounds so unappealing. I want to do this. What we're doing now. I want to keep doing it. I don't want to be a wife! I just want to read and study," you argued. 

Benedict stood up, coming to sit beside you and placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I know, darling. I'm sorry," but he knew you had more to say.

You groaned, pushing your forehead into his shoulder. "I just don't think I'll ever be happy if I'm forced to marry. And I most likely will be, knowing my mother. She'd rather die than have one of her daughters turn into a spinster," you huffed, missing the sympathetic look you got from Ben. "And who will my husband be? A clueless man with no interest in me beyond my ability to be a good wife? I cannot imagine a worse fate."

---

May 8, 1810 - Y/I, I'll keep this one short, seeing how I'll be properly back in a few days! I've been quite busy with graduation, but I'm excited to come home. Yours, B

You smiled as you placed the last letter you had received from Benedict back in your box. The collection was complete. Three years of correspondence between the two of you finally come to an end. You carefully closed the box and returned downstairs, where a big family gathering was occurring in the garden. 

As soon as you stepped outside, Ben was at your side, chatting your ear off about one thing or another. He had barely left you alone since he had been back, granting you only a few minutes to yourself, but you couldn't complain. You wrapped an arm around his torso as you walked back to the garden table. 

"Oh, you look so darling!" cried Violet, cooing at the two of you. 

"You're proper adults now! Both of you! How the time has passed," your mother added, reaching out to hold Violet's hand. 

Benedict could only smile, too happy to be back at your side to focus on anything else. He had missed you loads while he was at Oxford, but having your arm around him now, he realized just how much he needed you. Ben placed a soft kiss on the top of your head, unable to help himself as you sat down at the table. He sat right next to you, taking one of your hands into his own so he could play with your fingers as you chatted with Primrose and Violet. 

Oxford had been a riot, to be sure, but he was so glad to come home to you.

—

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[heyhihellosworld]

𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Trent Alexander-Arnold x reader

Word count: 6.2k

Summary: Trent would do everything for his daughter even if it's out of his comfort-zone but maybe something, or someone can make it more bearable.

Warnings: Single parent, talk about non-present parents, horses, angst, smut, fluff, dad!trent, young pregnancy (19/20)

Notes: I don't know but this idea just came to me randomly when I was in the stables and I just find it funny to see these out of place parents, especially dads so yeah. Random but fun to write

Being a single parent wasn't always easy. Trent found it hard to be as present as possible, to spend as much time with his daughter as he wanted and still succeed in his football career. It took a lot of time, effort and help but he managed well, being the best dad possible and still develop in his football. It took a toll on him but he wouldn't trade it for the world.

Since he had been a little kid football had been his life, his goal and the only thing that mattered. For so long it was all that consumed his life, until Ella came along. It was never the plan, never his intention after the one-night stand he'd had but it happened and after a rocky year he had full custody of his baby.

After that his priorities changed because he was no longer alone, he couldn't be selfish anymore, he couldn't think about himself because he had a little girl at home. A little girl relying on him for food, comfort and love and suddenly, she was what mattered the most.

Less to say Trent didn't have a lot of free-time, already juggling more than the time could wrap up but he didn't really miss anything, he felt complete. The only thing he sometimes missed was dating. Going out was nowadays almost impossible, even though his brothers and parents tried to help out and babysit as much as they could he didn't feel fine with leaving her in their responsibility too long knowing they already helped out more than they should. Trent hadn't dated someone in what felt like years nor had he gotten any action regurarly. He didn't mind it, but he could miss it some days. Not only the sex but the social life outside of his work. That's why it felt like a blessing when Ella got older and he had to engage in some of her free-time activities. It wasn't like before of course, this was mothers and fathers with their kids not drunk idiots in a club in some VIP-room. But it was still some kind of social life, some people he could talk to and sometimes hang out with outside of the footballpitch.

For him it was obvious she would play football. It was what he'd anticiapated for a long time but the little girl said no. She didn't wanna play football, she wanted to take horseback-lessons, and as the nice father he was he didn't pressure her into anything but said ok, she would get to take her horse-riding lessons if that was what made her happy.

The four-year old was over-joyed, not Trent. He was as far away from his comfort zone he could imagine when he stepped onto the yard with his estatic daughter. It was muddy and bloody cold but he didn't say anything, just smiled at Ella who blabbered away.

Anything for her

It was all he repeated in his head to get himself to not jump into the car again.

He could hear his teammates laughing in his head as he stood in the small house which apparently was called the club-house. When he had told them about his daughters wish he had got his head nagged in with teasing, but hey, anything for her.

He got informed of how it worked, where the list was, where the different buildings were located, how he handled the horse, that he'd have to fix it up before riding.

He nodded along pretending he understood just fine before walking after Ella as she hurried into the stable. The smell was the first thing that hit him, then the horses. What the fuck was he doing here, why hadn't he asked somebody who knew something about this to take her? Well probably because she had been so excited for him to come along.

"Look, look!" Ella prompted, grinning from ear to ear as she pointed to one of the horses "Which one am I having? Which one daddy?"

Trent shook his head "Uh, what was his name? Mons?" "Monty!"

Trent hummed, nodding as they walked along the line of horses, "Here it is" he told her and she squealed with excitement at the tiny, fat little horse that stood in the box, glaring at them from inside.

Trent stood a few meters away as one of the people who helped out in the stables showed Elle how to tack up. He could feel the stares as he tried to look at what they were doing, trying to memorize but nah, it was too much stuff. Ella almost bounced on the spot as everything was ready, Trent yet to touch the horse that was still glaring at them.

-

Trent sat on the cold tree stand as he watched his daughter wiggle around on the horse. If it wasn't for the biggest smile on her face he would've tried to talk her into something else but he couldn't, and it didn't matter how bitter he felt. He would have to learn and show up, put on his well practiced fake-smile, for her.

-

"Are you really Trent Alexander-Arnold?"

The sound of his name made him look up, taken aback by the mention. He hadn't even thought about being spotted or recognised here which he of course should have.

"Eh, I am" he choke before he even located the woman who spoke but when he did he felt like his choked reply was just right. Before him stood a beautiful woman, she didn't look like a mom, for sure not. She looked about his age, maybe a year or so younger than him.

She was absolutely stunning, her beutiful face held a warm and almost teasing expression. Eyes glimmering, like she was mocking him for his whereabouts.

"Wow" she hummed, sitting down next to him so naturally it almost made him envy her confidence. "So what in the world brings the famous footballer to the stables?" She asked, seemingly unbothered but the smirk she tried to hide leaked through, making him pull a grimace at her.

"Well, my daughter wanted to take horseback-lessons... so I took her to do it, silently hoping she wouldn't like it but now I guess this is my new place to be" he muttered and she chuckled softly "That's sweet of you"

Trent shrugged his shoulders, looking over at her as she sat so casually but still looked so elegant and beautiful. "What about you?" "Well I also happen to have a daughter who loves this stinky hole" she hummed, peeking his interest even more "Really?" he questioned, his eyes full of interest as she hummed "yeah, why?"

"No no I just... you look young to be a mother" he revealed, pulling a smile from her "thank you, I guess. But I was young when I got her" she admitted, making Trent nod along "How old are you?"

"23" she answered shortly making him hum "And what's your name?"

She chuckled, giving him a loopsided smile as she raised one eyebrow "Why are you so interested?"

Trent shrugged "I just am, you're not gonna tell me your name?"

"Y/n, it's y/n" she answered politely, a silence settling over the two as they watched their children try to lead the horse in the right direction.

--

It had been a stressful afternoon for you, hurrying home after work to make it in time to Amelies riding-lesson. But you'd made it, not quite on time but good enough.

Amelies riding lessons was nothing you'd been too big of a fan of, not only because you knew nothing about horses but also because it was darn expensive. But of course you couldn't say no to your precious daughter when she so sweetly asked you, so now you found yourself on this tree bench every week, looking as your daughter held the biggest smile on her face, and it felt worth it.

"I don't mean to be forward" you voiced quietly after a few moments, "It's fine" he hummed, turning his attention to you, bracing himself for what he knew was coming.

He was even more beautiful face to face, so close up, than on the tv-screen and you still had a hard time realizing it was actually the football player sitting next to you on the stable stand.

You had of course read gossip sites and rumors about him and his daughter, some saying he was indeed secretly married and other saying it was a failed one-night stand leading him to be a single parent. You didn't know what it was but you were intrigued.

"Are you married?"

Your question didn't surprise him, his eyes fleeting back from watching the group to you again. "Well-no"

"No?"

He shook his head, curls flying all over the place, your face told him you wanted to know more and he gave in, he knew darn well about all the rumours flying around about him and his daughter, and especially about the mother. "I am not married. Me and Ella's mother is not in any committed relationship. In fact it was a one night stand, ending up in her calling me and telling me she was pregnant and after a long hard time she pulled out, and I am now a single parent"

You hummed "is her mother in the picture at all?"

"Rarely, whenever it suits her" he shrugged, not really understanding why he told you all this. "What about you?" You chuckled bitterly "Nah, I was in a relationship when I got pregnant, but like I said I was young, barely 19 and our relationship was as serious as they are at that age so when things got real he bailed"

"So, do you have any contact?"

"No, I haven't really heard from him since I told him I was pregnant, I forced him to meet her once" you told him bitterly, the air tensing but you didn't mind and neither did he. It was nothing secretive and something you both had moved on from so talking about it felt like a natural part of an introduction because it was a big part of who you were, big part of your families.

When the short lesson was over Ella was bouncing as she ran up to Trent. You stood next to him, waiting for Amelie whilst continuing to small-talk. You couldn't help but smile as he kneeled down to scoop her up in his arms with the brightest smile. "Did you enjoy it princess?"

"I love it! Thank you daddy" he chuckled as he let her down again "Of course sweetie, are you all done now so we can go home and cook?"

You watched as the little girl nodded before looking away, Trent saw it aswell "It's okay, we can stay a little longer" he smiled at her shy look making her face lit up again "I just wanna say bye to my friends" she replied, kissing his cheek before running up the small bump into the stables again.

You felt like pouting at the sweet interaction but stopped from it seeing they were strangers and it would probably put him off. "She is really adorable" you smiled as he stood up again, smiling small.

"Thank you"

"Have you been here for a long time?"

"Here?"

"Have your daughter been riding for a long time?" he corrected making you hum "Well nah not that long, a couple of months" you answered. More than that wasn't said and it felt like a small relief when both of your daughters came running down from the stable giggling, breaking the sudden awkvard tension. You smiled at your daughter, her hapiness making you happy.

"Mommy, did you see?!" she squeeled as she raised her arms as a sign for you to lift her up which you did with a grin. "I did see, you were really good today" you smiled, loving her happy face as she bubbled with hapiness, all giddy.

You put her down when she started to wriggle, packing down all the things in your stable-bag. "Mom"

"Yeah" you hummed "Do you think I can play with Ella some day?"

You looked up, smiling softly as you paused "I'm sure we could fix something some time" you promised making her smile again, breaking away from the small shy energy. You could see that she was tired, even though she was blabbering and bouncing the tiredness started to droop onto her.

When she yawned you chucled, picking her up which she gladly accepted, snuggling into your shoulder.

You waved goodbye at Trent who smiled your way before stropping Amelie in the car to drive home.

Since that first time in the stables Trent and Ella went every week, every week coming to seek you out, ask you about your week and how you'd been since last time.

What in the beginning was a dreadful day for Trent slowly started to become an enjoyful one. You liked the stables just fine but it didn't get worse by seeing Trent.

Whenever he wasn't there it was a huge disapointment, something you were all to aware of.

He had became a good friend, your daughters spending time outside of the stables as well which prompted you to meet more than once a week.

The attraction was there, always but of course you never went with it since the kids were around and dating with a kid or even more so sleeping around whilst having a kid was not something you found appropriate or fair for her at the moment so you didn't do anything, didn't say anything and if he felt the same way he didn't say it.

You learnt more and more for every time you met and got more and more smitten. You understood why everybody was fawning over him so bad. You'd always liked him on the pitch, enjoyed watching him play but this was something completely different than that.

It was a sunday you realized how smitten you actually was with the guy. He had suggested to meet up for the kids to play so you could watch football together. It was United against City so the expectations where high as you sat in your sofa together. The girls in Amelies room playing.

He had been such a softie, resting his hand on your thigh as you sat closer than appropriate, conversing and laughing about the game. He told you stories about himself, about Ella and it was all so soft.

His eyes had been warm and he had been so sweet, cooking all of you lunch and helping you fix the new coffee table you hadn't put together yet. It had felt so domestic and it had made you realize how much you actuallly liked the guy.

But you hadn't spoken a word about it. It was too complicated to get involved with anyone. No man had gotten introduced to Amelie except from her dad but other than that you had stayed far away from that part of you. Only ever being with someone when Amelie wasn't home.

It was a delicate matter with kids and you didn't want to risk anything, plus, you had no idea if Trent even liked you in the slightest so you just kept your mouth shut, enjoying what was now.

A rare evening without Amelie or work was spent out. You were still young, still enjoying the thrill of a good club with friends so the bar was the place to go.

Your best friend begged to go to this new open bar, more similar to an night-club than bar but you didn't mind.

The first hour was spent upstairs in one of the more reserved booths, drinking and gossiping, spilling the recent tea and of coure the main topic was Trent.

She was dying to hear about it and you were dying to telll her. "No way he said that" she gasped, clapping her hands "Wow you go y/n, this is honestly wild"

You giggled, swallowing the rest of your drink "I know"

"What's next then? You almost kissed in his car and now?" "Now nothing" you sighed, shaking your head "What do you mean nothing"

"I mean that I haven't heard of him since then"

"Well text him then!" she exclaimed "I dont know" "Oh come on y/n you gotta do it, you are so smitten by him already and you never meet anyone"

"Lets drop this topic for tonight" you decided, sweeping the hard parts under the rug for now.

"Fine, let's go down and get the party started for real" she beamed sensing not to push you further right now.

"Yes please"

She giggled, hooking your arm with hers as you went down the sketchy stair to the club area, the night club you needed.

-

You were deep in your cups which was why you weren't sure if you actually saw who you thought you did or if you were hallucinating

"Y/n! Is that Trent??" your friend gaped making you realize it was actaully Trent and you gigggled, pulling her along with you as you tripped up to him, facing him with a bright smile

He was with a couple of friends, some you would probably recognize if it wasn't for the slight womble in your head

"Y/n??"

Trent eyed you up and down with a giant smirk, sensing your drunkness but he too were deep in his cups, immidiately dragging both you and your friend to their table.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, handing you another drink and pulling you to sit on his lap as there was limited space on the table he and a couple of his friends shared. Your friend immideately hitting it off with some of them.

"I have a rare night out" you grinned

"How convinient, I have to" he revealed, squeezing your thigh where your short dress had ridden up.

"How convinient" you smirked right back at him, your eyes dropping down to his lips a little too often

It wan't long until you couln't resist the urge to kiss him anymore. The clear part of our head would probably stop it right now because it was compliacted, you had Amelie, you couldn't just date around and bring people here and there but the rational part of your brain wasn't working right at the moment. Only wanting some sort of normality, some sort of attention tonight and Trent gladly gave it to you, so you took it.

The soft kiss turned heated, passionate and neeedy, hands grasping desperately at each other as your turned around on his lap. Only when the people around you started to make noises did you break apart for the moment, enjoying the night on his lap, his mouth on yours and hands caressing you whenever the moment allowed it. It was something completely different like this, when the kids wasn't around, when neither of you had to take the parent role, when you both were deep in your cups and didn't hold back. It was something completely different but so relieving.

--

He asked you out, actually asked you out. Not asking for a playdate with the kids, no. Alone, with you and it felt like the nerves would explode. You had met him for months now but it felt different after the bar meeting.

It had been heated, promising more than just parents of two friends. No, that had showed you he wanted more as well. The kisses shared, the touches ad the late, drunken question to come home with him. It all indicated that he wanted more of whatever it was between you.

You read his text again. You had agreeed on dinner in his flat. Neither of you wanted to do something public. Still it felt nerve-wracking. You hadn't been at his place before, always at yours for various reasons.

You hadn't gone home with him that night but what if he wanted something in that way tonight`?

did you want anything like that? Hell yes

How did you act with him, alone? Without being drunk

What do you wear to something like this?

You had no idea

After what felt like forever you finally emerged from your car outside of his complex, wearing sweats and a hoodie as he had told you after asking and making your way inside.

It was darn expensive, exclusive, luxaury celebrity building. You felt hella out of place, not only because of your clothes as you got escorted up to his floor. The secod you saw him though, it felt okay. The smile twinkling in his eyes as he welcomed you inside.

-

"This feels a bit weird" you smiled, sitting on his big comfy sofa. Stretching out your tired body on the comfortable furnitor.

Trent chuckled, pursing his lips "Well"

"Not bad" you promised "But weird, I'm not used to be alone with you. It's always the girls or the horny mums"

At that Trent couldn't contain his laughter "Horny mums?"

"Yeah you should hear them talk" you scoffed, shaking your head at them.

"I do, trust me" he chuckled, plopping down next to you in the sofa with two glasses of wine. "I just choose to ignore them most of the time" he smiled, handing you one of the glasses.

Your eyebrows raised as you turned to him with an unimpressed look "most of the times?"

"Well yeah, I mean I did not ignore you, did I?" he teased, showing his beutiful smile. Your eyes rolled "no but I'm not talking about how hot it would be to be fucked by a footballer or how perfect your back looks to scratch"

"Why don't you though?"

You choke on the wine you sipped, spluttering it out in your lap as you tried to contain yourself with laughter You looked at him deadpan, "you want me to?"

His shoulders shrugged and his face pulled a grimace, smirking at your flustered state "I wouldn't mind it"

"Really?" you hummed, looking at him from under your lashes while sipping your wine. Gaining your confidenece back "Oh Trent, I wanna scratch your back while you fuck me so hard" you ironized with a high-pitched voice.

Trent laughed, raising his glass towards you "Take away the irony and we are home"

You couldn't help but give him a bright smile, leaning your head towards him before straightening up to do your real performance. His eyes followed you amusedly as he watched you clear your throat before you repeated "Oh Trent, I wanna scratch your back while you fuck me so hard" but only this time you tried to make it sound real, moaning out the words with an additional moan afterwards.

Trent's amused face dropped slightly as you smirked at him "Better?" "Mhm" he nodded, giving you an impressed look "Wow, that's actually wild" he hummed causing you to laugh at him, shaking your head at his dramatics "That explains how you women are so good at faking things"

You hummed, nodding "Sure but you can hear a clear difference from an fake moan and a real moan"

Trent hummed, pouting his lips in thought "well sure"

You pursued tour lips "Do you know the differences?" Trent shrugged "Sometimes, I think most of the times I can tell"

"Have someone ever really faked it with you?" you giggled, "Sure" Trent chuckled, internaly palming himself for revealing that to you.

"Why?" "I don't bloody know, I guess they didn't like it?"

You laughed "Oh poor Trent, are you not that talented in bed?"

He only scoffed, giving you a face that only made you laugh harder "I'm sure am talented enough"'

You giggled, crawling closer to him before settling in his lap. It didn't feel weird, you had been in this position before. You wanted to take it one step further, wanted to be with him.

"What if I need proof?" you whispered, your voicie low and all serious as he swallowed, giving you a heated gaze "Well I think we can fix that, don't you think?" "I was hoping" you smirked, immediately atttacking his lips with yours.

His hands fell on your ass, pulling you closer as your hands tangled in his curls.

Screw all the complicated shit, screw all responsibilites. You would fix it all later, talk it all through later. This wasn't bound to change anything, except it was. You felt more than you wanted to admit.

Screw the feelings, you needed him right now and he felt the same.

His hands started to undress you, flinging your hoodie off and you let him but when his hands left your boobs and started to tease your underwear you stopped him.

"Hey" you mumbled, immideately grabbing his attention, brown eyes searching yours for any signs that he'd crossed the line.

You gently stroke his neck, smiling at his attentive expression. "Did I do something?" he asked softly, relief filling his body as you shook your head. "No no, I just-" you began, looking away from his intense gaze

"What?" he murmured, gently angling your face so that you looked at him again.

Your face felt warm as he looked at you "I-I just haven't had sex in.... forever" you admited shyly

"Forever? you do have a kid, right?"

You giggled loving how he tried to ease the embarrsament as your lips graced his shoulder. "A year" you clarified, looking away from his face as he raised his eyebrows in supriese "Really, wow I feel like i've been in a dryspell forever but a year... I would've alredy have cum now"

You giggled again, hiding your embaressment in admitting this to your lext lay but Trent was different. It wasn't just some hook-up, it was Trent. Someone you already had found a liking towards. Someone you felt comfortable with and trusted, someone you didn't feel embarrassed around.

He kept a loving smile on his face, kissing your cheek sweetly before speaking again. "It's nothing, as long as you want this we can take it as slowly as you want to and if you don't, we don't" he mumbled softly against the soft skin of your shoulder.

"I want to, just... take it slow" you breathed out, his head noddding in recognition as he continued his ministrations on your neck and collarbone. Leaving marks like a teenager would on your sensitive skin. It made you giggle, plafully pushing him away but he just gave you his millon-dollar grin and continued, knowing you liked it.

You started to ease into it. Not feeling as stiff anymore as you moved your body against his, making him let out an apreciative sound. "Yeah?" he mumbled, a word so short but still so hot to hear from his lips.

His hand creeped down your sweatpants, gently teasing the hem of your underwear, tripping under the waistband only to crawl back up. It was all a part of his slow show and you started to realise what you had really asked him.

You kissed him sweetly, passionately but soft. Searching his mouth with yours, hands grasping on his broad shoulders, slowly creeping down to finally feel his gorgously sexy abs.

His breath fanned your jaw as he watched your face every movement, only slipping his hand into your panties for real when you made strong eye-contact with him, pleadig with your eyes for him to keep going.

And keep going he did, finally lettig his fingers stroke over your swollen clit. His fingers moved expertisely, knowing exactly where it would feel the best and where to be to drive your mind absolutely crazy and needy.

He was so focused on your face as you let him play with you, enjoying it way to much to ever ask him to stop.

When your mind started to function again you let your hand slip under the waistband of his calvins. Quickly wrapping around his hard dick to give him some attention as well. Too soaked up in your own for quiet some time already.

He didn't complain, his eyes closing briefly and a hard breath escaping his open lips as you stroked him firmly. Trying to focus on him whilst he brought you to the edge, slipping two fingers inside of you.

Your body had gotten completely loose now. Moving on it's own accord, not caring anymore, not controlled by nerves but pleasure.

He could see exactly when your orgasm started to climb to it's top. Not daring to stop as your voice pleaded him not to. Your hand stopped aroud his dick, unable to focus as your orgasm washed over you. The sounds you let out fell deaf on your own ears, not to Trent's who only got harder as your body shook, fingers slowly retreating as you came down. Not wanting to overstimulate you at this state.

"Okay?" he smiled softly, the giggle you let out sounded free and happy "more than okay" you smiled, leaning up to kiss his lips lovingly. Hand resuming it's pace on his hard cock.

Soon enough you tugged at his boxers, wanting them off, wanting him inside of you.

He let you do what you wanted, helping to take off his boxers as he helped you out of your sweatpants. His hands gently cupped your breasts over your brah as you looked at each other. "You sure you want this?" he hummed, needing the consent "Yes, you?" you hummed back softly, "All I wanted to do since I first saw you" he consented, bringing a smile on your lips as he guided his tip to your entrance.

He rubbed oer your sensitive nerves, giving you time to relax again from the initional reaction to feeling his dick against the place you wanted him.

"Relax yeah?" he hummed softly, kissing over your chest, smiling against your skin as you complied. Relaxing your body against the soft material.

He fially pushed the tip in, your breath catching in your throat at the stretch. His lips a nice distraction, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as he kissed you passionately. Breathing in and swallowing your sounds.

It felt like an enternity until he finally stopped, fully inside you. You panted against his lips, trying to take in the feeling of complete blizz.

Fuck you had missed this

"Move" you breathed, his hips immediately following your words as he slowly started to thrust inside of you. Taking it slow as promised but it felt just as good as anything else. It wasn't about fucking the life out of you, it would be time for that later. No this was about connecting, making eachother feel pleasure and love and wow did he manage well.

You felt like all you could do was moan and whine, your body writhing on the soft cushions as he gave you all he had, rolling his hips into yours, filling you completely with each deep thrust.

He reached places you didn't even remembered you could or knew. It felt like you were floating on a cloud as his mouth found your skin again.

"Fuck I'm sorry" he breathed harshly on your jaw as he kissed his way up

"What?"

"I-I'm gonna cum" he breathed making you giggle out a moan "Fuck do it"

His fingers found your clit, gently stroking the sensitive nub as he quickened his pace slightly. His hips started to jerk as he got closer to his release, soon coming to an complete stop as he came, taking you with him in the blizz.

It felt like you blacked out. Letting your eyes fall close as he slipped of to the bathroom, helping you clean up and change clothes to sleep. He didn't bother making you brush your teeth or go to the toilet. You were already half-asleep so he just crawled down into the bed again. Kissing your shoulder and whispering soft praise for you as you drifted off to sleep in his comfortbale bed and warm embrace.

--

Awkvardness settled in your body as you looked down on the steeming hot cup of coffe he'd just handed you.

He looked as free as a bird, not an ounce of regret or questionmarks visable in the way he moved around the kitchen

You didn't regret it but now the hard conversation were bound to happen, the conversation you'd dreaded since you started to feel something about him. But again, he didn't look cornered at all, he looked the oposite to you and that also made you question this, question his feelings.

It wasn't long until he broke the silence, turning to you with an look you couldn't really decide if it was scolding, angry or amused. Maybe something inbetween it all.

"Why are you awkvard?"

He popped the question, just like that, cornered you even more than you already felt as you squirmed on the tall bar stool you sat on at his kitchen island.

"I'm not" you tried but he only chuckled, giving you a soft smile. "This dosen't have to be as hard as you make it out in your head"

"I dosen't?" you half mocked him but he stood his ground, shaking his head "No, it dosen't. I really like you" he stated, like it was the easiest thing ever to say

"And I think you like me too so what's the problem? Our kids already love eachother so why just not take it slowly, ease into it with them, keep it on the low, see eachother more and then move forward step by step. It dosen't have to be that hard. I'm sure of my feeling, it's not something casual or temporary"

You sat quite for a while "Well when you say it like that it sounds like the easiest thing in the world"

Trent chuckled, coming loser to you "It's not the easiset thing in the world but I like you too much to not give this a try"

You smiled leaning over the island to kiss him gently "I like you" you mumbled against his lips, feeling them curl into a smile against yours.

--

Sundays couldn't get better than this, the sun was out, mood happy and the birds were singing. Trent's hand in yours made a warmth spread in your chest. The girls ran in front of you, playing tag in a fit of giggles.

The soft morning had woken you up in the right mood, waking up alongside Trent was bound to wake you up in a good mood. Early morning sure but the way Tren't had made love to you first thing after waking up made your mood hit the good roof.

"I love this" you hummed, watching up at his beutiful smile under the baseball cap he'd pushed down over his curls, not wanting to be recognised.

You'd made it official, but not public. He had asked you to be his girlfriend one late night in front of the tv, cozied up together on the sofa. It had been only one clear answer on your tongue and since then things had changed for the better.

The worry of affecting your kids had been one that had proved not to be a problem, the girls already concidering the other best friends. Trying to explain had been a bit harder the girls not completely undestanding why they spent so mch time together at eachothers houses but they loved it neitherless.

"Me too" Trent hummed, glancing up at the girls "And I love you" he continued, turning to you again, tilting your head up to gently kiss you, a kiss you couldn't help but to smile into, holding his chin gently as he kissed you softly, intimately.

"Daddy!" "Mommy!"

You broke apart, giggling as you turned to your kids "Why is your daddy snogging my mommy!" Amelie protested but Ella only giggled making Amelie start to.

"Where have you learnt that word?" you asked her pointedly, her eyes blinking up at you "Trent told me it" she defended before they were off again.

"You taught her the word snogging??" you turned to him with a scoff "What?!" he exclaimed "The girls were using the word fucking so I told them not to say that and to say snog instead, choose your word woman!" he defended making you laugh "Okay okay, snogging is much better than fucking"

"Exactly" he smiled in victory as you continued to walk.

You'd never felt this kind of peace before in your life. It had always been something, something unsettling. But right now, right now it felt like peace, like nothing was hard or confusing. Everything was clear and you were happy, happiest you'd ever been.

And it all felt like it was coming together, peace had finally landed.

[iheartsebastianmichaelis]

Stress.

⚠️: minors dni, sensorial uncomfort and corporal pain description, AFAB but gender neutral reader, fingering, mirror sex.

you have been very tense the last few days. social gatherings among the aristocracy did nothing but put you in a bad mood and stress you out when you lost track of the insignificant and trivial conversations among the nobles. you only attended for education, potential business partners, and the luxurious and unusual food they served, which clearly did not compare to the art that Sebastian had the luxury of creating in the kitchen.

on this occasion you were returning from a party with a baron whose name you had already forgotten because it seemed so irrelevant to you. maybe you had wasted time, but at least you could cross off one more item on your to-do list.

when you got out of the carriage and entered the mansion you were a mess: your hair felt sweaty, your suit was worn out, and your shoes had gotten dirty because of a clumsy waiter who tripped on you at the party. you sighed heavily, walking up the stairs towards your room while Sebastian followed behind you.

"your grace, i will prepare the bathtub with hot water to help you relax your body, in the meantime please wait in your room."

"okay, don't take so long."

"as you wish."

you entered your room and lazily began to undress, the cold of the night gave you a chill due to the abrupt change in temperature, giving you goosebumps. even with good weather setting your night, you couldn't get the frustration out of your body. so unbearable it was that even a slight pain in your temple appeared without warning.

a gentle knock on the door brought you back to reality, you knew it was Sebastian and with that an idea came to your head.

"master, may I come in?"

you were almost naked, only wearing your underwear but that was just a part of what you had in mind. with your head clear of doubts you nodded at yourself.

"sure."

Sebastian opened the door and his eyes widened in surprise. he never had seen his authority figure in such detail before, so it was only natural for him to ask your reasoning.

"good grief", he sighed "although I came here to inform you that the bathtub is ready, i can notice you weren't. i apologize if that's the case, i think it would be better for me to leave the room to give you more privacy."

"no, stay here. i wanna ask you something."

"how can i help you now?"

"i read on a book that people use to release stress with their bodies, do you know something about it?"

"i've certainly heard of that, your grace, humans usually can find relieve stimulating their bodies."

you sighed heavily as you placed your hands on your hips.

"I want to try it."

"oh? may i ask why, your grace?"

"are you seriously that much worried about wasting the bathtub water, Sebastian?" you asked teasingly, playful smile on your face. "there's no need to explain such easy understanding things, don't you think?"

he only chuckled.

you cupped his face with your hands and looked at him seriously.

"it's an order, destress me."

"yes, my master."

...

after a passionate making out session with your butler, you sat on the edge of the bed in front of your mirror, him before you and caressing your cheek with his hand.

he suddenly positioned himself on his knees in front of you and asked permission, with his exploring hands Sebastian waited for your response. a slight nod of your head was enough to give him the green light to continue. he made his way to your intimate area, leaving a trail of wet kisses, stopping right at your mound and giving a light bite to your thigh before retiring your panties. now, his sinful tongue began to trace a slow and pleasant up and down pattern on your slit. your mind felt foggy, his tongue was slightly making you feel more and more impatient when he thrusted vaguely into you or sucked on your clit vehemently. as time passed by and your moans became more loud he knew you were close to your climax so he stopped dead, surprising you and making you pout.

"i don't remember telling you to stop, Sebastian." you said frustrated.

"and I won't, excellency." he said with a calm, smug face while removing his gloves.

Sebastian then moved behind you, cradling you in his arms and slowly sliding them to your wet, sweet spot. starting with two fingers, he massaged your clit, giving gentle strokes and moving it in circles. your head was now tilted back and resting on his shoulder, soft whines leaving your mouth.

"oya, oya. someone's acting so eager already, aren't you dear?"

"s-shut up."

the clear and humiliating expression reflected on your face in the mirror was enough to motivate sebastian to tease and mock you.

you hissed and bit your lips every time he increased the speed or his strength in his movements between your folds. the moans you let out did nothing but invite him to continue taking them out of your mouth.

two of his long, thin fingers made their presence felt inside your wet interior, he thrust into you with confidence and strength, but not to the point of being painful or overwhelming. Just like he had said, you were excited. your hips moved back and forth, seeking to bury his fingers to your sweetest spot if that was possible.

"please keep going like that, haah."

"understood." he placed a kiss on your neck, making you tremble.

when he could deduce that you were close again, he moved his fingers faster and his thumb got busy giving soft and pleasant half-moons on your clit. your breathing became faster and your mouth got rid of all shame, letting out loud, pleasurable moans into Sebastian's ear.

"that's it, just follow what your body leads you to." he whispered into your ear before kissing and licking it.

suddenly you felt a chill and an energizing spasm run through your entire body, your back arched and your tongue slightly stuck out of your mouth. your legs were shaking and your chest was rising and falling: you had reached your orgasm. with your face burning with embarrassment you looked down and noticed the mess that was dripping onto his fingers that were still inside you. He gently gave small thrusts trying to prolong your ecstasy, you only hummed and moaned his name in response.

when Sebastian considered it was enough, he took his fingers out of you, kissing your neck and jaw, trying to massage your chest and collarbones with his clean hand, in order to help you relax your body.

"and... did this help you, your grace?"

you nodded frantically, but then noticed he got up from your behind and your back was surprised with the messy and warm sheets.

you looked up at him, noticing how he started to unbuckle his belt.

"I can try another method to destress you, excellency. just say the word, say my name and allow me to do the rest."

A/N: hii sorry for dying lol but happy season 4 for everyone LMAO!! I literally screamed and fell to the ground seeing profesor Michaelis 🤭 anyway, listen: i TRIED so bad to write actually smut but i swear i need to go bit by bit cuz i just suck 😭😭 sorry if this is so messy 💀

[actingwithportals]

I wish more people understood that not every blind person is the exact same and we do not all need the same things and also the circumstances under how you were raised and when your blindness occurred and how involved you were in a blind community all play parts into what accessibility needs you will have.

Like. I was born legally blind. My vision has been for the most part stable my whole life, and it is likely to not change (unless normal worsening with age). I was raised in a family full of sighted people and all of my friends and members of my community were sighted people. I did not start meeting other blind people and joining blind communities until my early teenage years. This shaped me in such a way that I never learned Braille until I started teaching myself when I got older, did not learn to use a cane until I started attending blind camps as a teen, did not know I had an option of asking for accessibility with videos or images or menus or shopping or cooking or ANYTHING until I met other blind people who made it clear to me that there was a way I could exist with independence as a blind person and didn't have to just. miss out on life that I couldn't see.

So a vast majority of the way I taught myself to get by is very different from someone who spent a lot more of their early years around other blind people. But I also picked up a great deal of "normal" blind accessibility tricks from my teen years of involving myself with more blind communities that other blind folks who never involve themselves in blind communities are aware of or find useful.

My vision teacher as a kid showed me JAWS and explained what it was, but never really bothered to teach me to use it because ZoomText she decided was better for me. So I grew up to use screen magnifiers and not screenreaders. She didn't teach me Braille because she could get ahold of large print books, and when she couldn't she would find me a vast array of magnifiers to use. Ones with lights, ones in different shapes, some that were actual screen devices while others were simply glass. She didn't teach me how to use a cane and instead got me monoculars and bioptics, even though those actually...were not very easily usable to me. I had to teach myself how to use a cane after my first year of camp where I was gifted one, and later expanded upon learning when I finally took Orientation and Mobility training my year before moving out to college. I wouldn't start learning Braille until around the same time when I was given a Brailler by the specific state agency that provided assistive devices to blind students during high school and college.

So now, as an adult, what I find useful is reading text on a screen so that I can adjust my own contrast and magnification, I use a cane when walking around on my own outside of my home or other familiar areas, I use Braille on my keyboard and around on my household appliances so that I don't have to bend over or squint to attempt to read any settings or buttons or keys. A different blind person who grew up with different circumstances will have a very different list of assistive technology that is useful to them. Some will hate magnifiers and prefer audiobooks. Some would rather read Braille. Some will use puff paint or color-coding for household appliances or items like on clothing tags or toothbrushes. Some will use bioptics or monoculars when going to the theater instead of sitting close to the screen, or they might do both, or neither and will just listen. Some will use canes, some will use service dogs, some will use neither, or might prefer a sighted guide.

There are...so many ways a blind person might choose to make their life accessible. And we do not always agree with each other on what is best, because we do not all have the same eyes. Nor do we have the same ears, or hands, or feet. We are varied and complex and we disagree sometimes and come together other times and we discuss amongst ourselves on how to make things better for our community and we confer with other communities on how we help ourselves and help each other. We are not all the same. We are not all the same. We are not all the same.

If you want an answer for what is the One Agreeable accessibility feature for blind people: there isn't one. So just talk to us, instead. Get to know how we vary, how we relate, how you can best help one of us and how you might best help another. I'm sure we'd be happy to tell you what works best for us individually if you ask. And if we wouldn't, then that's ok. Sometimes we gotta figure things out on our own first before we can explain it to others. Either way, never stop asking. Because accessibility is always evolving, and someone is always going to have a different answer to the same question.

You can't get accessibility wrong if you're just willing to try. So keep trying.

[h2llish]

【╰ヾ❝ GARDEN ✧„ pt 2

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR ━━━ leona loves the boy in the garden ♡ fluff, bit angsty, pining, book 2 and 3 mentions, leona is a little insecure and pining hard, male reader, lowercase intended, more lore for reader (wow/s)

fem aligned dni (she/they, she/her, etc)

part 1

the book leona borrowed from you (and still had yet to give back) began by saying the language of flowers and plants are beautiful, and then it'd go on to list some flowers and their meanings. amaryllis meaning pride; aster is a symbol of love and even daintiness; calla lilies mean beauty. one of those flowers listed is the white carnation, also one of the flowers you had given leona. the white carnation has quite a few meanings, but they all lead to the same thing nonetheless: sweet, innocent love.

if you move through the book a few pages, you'll find the salvia. it goes on to list colors on the flower having their own meanings. the blue salvia has a meaning you've always thought to be more beautiful than the red; i think of you. it was that flower that you gave to leona because it was true, you think about him. he was on your mind even when he laid next to you as you tended to the flowers. he was always there in your thoughts even when you needed to be focused on your task at hand. he owned your mind even though he was completely unaware of it.

and of course, the chrysanthemum; the red chrysanthemum. it was your favorite flower in the way you hated it so much. you told yourself you'd never own another, you'd never plant another, and yet you did anyways. because it was a flower you knew would get your feelings across exactly for its meaning was simple and straightforward; i love you. the same thing you'd only ever wished your mother had told you before she sent you off to live with your aunt. the words your mother told you she'd never utter as you were the reason, she let the magic consume and fog her mind. the words you'd hoped to tell leona yourself even with the flowers in your hands.

i love you, leona. i love you.

but you could not, not when leona hadn't come to the botanical garden for what you realized was half a month. you understood, of course, and it was bad timing on your part. all the dorms, including your own, were busy with preparing for spelldrive. and then there was the mysterious injuries that began to take some of the best players in every dorm by swarm. so, of course, leona was busy and probably couldn't come around to the garden as much as you wished he could. (because you'd admit, you missed seeing him.) so you opted to pay him a visit at his dorm, which quickly changed to just leaving ruggie to deliver your flowers to the prince in hopes that he understood exactly what those flowers meant and what you were trying to say. (he had your book on the meaning of flowers for months then, so you assumed he must at least know some of the meanings for the flowers.)

you paid him a visit a few more times after that but was quickly shooed away by ruggie who always had an excuse. you just wanted a response; because whether it was rejection or not, you needed him to tell you face-to-face. maybe then, you'd finally be able to get over the unfamiliar racing of your heart and the constant thoughts that centered around him.

if leona wanted to talk to you, he knew where to find you. and if he didn't, then you'd just track him down after spelldrive and force him to give you an answer because you didn't like how unfamiliar it was to be waiting so anxiously for a response.

however, what you didn't expect, was to have the prefect from another world suddenly approach your dorm and request the help of your housewarden to stop the culprit behind the mysterious injuries; leona. being a part of heartslabyul, you were expected to aid in the plan as well; you didn't protest, even when you were faced with the feeling of a pit in your stomach and a tightness in your chest as the realization that the man you were in love with was the reason one of your dormmates was injured. (but you still loved him even when that thought was almost painful.)

it was a surprise, to confront the lion and have him admit what he and ruggie were doing. but it was even more of a surprise when you recognized the obvious signs of building blot (something you were all too familiar with even before riddle). watching as ruggie struggled to breath as sand picked up and the air became thin with the grains. leona's signature spell was powerful; you knew that from the time you once asked him about it during your conversations in the botanical garden. you could start to see the effects it began to have on those around you, including yourself. breathing growing short and bit of panic rising in your chest.

but for the lion, leona could never forget the way you looked at him as you wrapped an arm around ruggie and pulled him away. you coughed under the effects of his spell, eyes wide as you stared up at him and━ oh, were you scared of him? the fear in your eyes would probably be unrecognizable to those who couldn't read you, but leona noticed it, and amongst the blot that began to take over, he felt his own self crumble at thought that you were scared of him. (if only he knew it wasn't fear of him, but for him.)

you managed to stop leona just before the blot could consume him whole, much to your relief. and as the blot that took form behind leona released him, you were the only one quick to rush forward to catch him just before the prince could hit the ground. and as he lay unconscious, you held him, so carefully, as if he was another one of your flowers in your garden.

and while ruggie didn't understand flowers, and he didn't understand you or leona, he understood, in that moment, as he watched you hold leona until he regained consciousness, that you loved the prince.

leona was avoiding you. he knew that, ruggie knew that, you knew that.

leona was avoiding you and he didn't understand why. ━ okay, that's a lie, he knew exactly why. it's because he (and his pride would never admit it) was scared. scared, because after his overblot, he didn't know what you wanted nor how you felt, and he didn't want to face it either. he doesn't think he could handle a rejection from you of all people.

ruggie has voiced his disappointment of the lion on several occasions, not happy that he was sending you away every time you tried to see the prince because leona was too much of a coward to face you. ruggie's had to come up with excuse after excuse just to send you off, and he's running out of reasonable excuses, and he knows you've realized. and while he's said this to leona a number of times, leona still refuses to face you. at one point, ruggie was desperate enough to drag a confused jack over to try and get him to move from his bed.

jack sighed, standing at leona's bedside and apologizing to ruggie, as it was obvious the lion had no intention of moving to go talk to garden boy as ruggie called you. the freshman didn't understand what was going on nor why leona had to talk to the gardener of the botanical garden, but it was obviously important if ruggie was trying so hard to force the lion out of bed.

ruggie groaned, "come on, leona! talk to him!"

leona didn't reply verbally, but the annoyed flick of his tail as he turned his back to the two told them what he was thinking.

"coward." ruggie glared, arms crossed over his chest as an awkward jack stood next to him, a bit caught off guard by the sudden insult thrown towards their housewarden. when ruggie still gained no response, the hyena scoffed, turning away to stomp off, to which jack followed. but ruggie made sure to add just before he shut the door behind him, "i'm not turning him away again!"

leona scoffed, tail flicking aggressively as he stared at the three flowers in a vase, set safely on his desk. (because while he may be avoiding you, the flowers were once a confession, and he preferred to have that if he couldn't have you.)

everyone has a point where their patience dries, and they can no longer find themselves able to wait for something or someone. and for you, a rather stoic and otherwise patient person, it may take a while before you reach that point, but even you have that moment where you no longer find yourself able to sit still. (and your patience was strong because it had been a month since you last seen him.)

your patience just so happened to run out while at an unbirthday party. you had been in a conversation with trey regarding the science club (and rook's extravagant need to cause poor trey issues by almost blowing up the lab), when you overheard deuce and ace talking. you nodded at whatever trey was saying, but your mind was on the freshman's conversation as you heard them mention savanaclaw and leona.

you learned then that the prefect and grim found themselves staying at savanaclaw because the prefect had signed a contract with azul, putting their dorm on the line because they were trying to get ace, deuce, and grim's freedom back after they had been stupid enough to sign a contract with azul in the first place.

you felt frustration build, grip tightening dangerously on the teacup in your hand and eyes narrowing on the treats in the center of the table. trey noticed your silence, stopping to stare at you as your mood took an uncharacteristic turn. he was caught off guard, after his years of knowing you since you guys met in your first year at nrc, you had never been this expressive, and he couldn't understand what caused the sudden turn in mood (it's not like he knew it was because you overheard the freshman's conversation, nor why that would make you upset.) even if it was a small change in your character, it was enough to cause him concern.

"[name]?" he called.

you blinked, relaxing your grip on your teacup and turning to him with a hum, "yes?"

his brows furrowed, "are you okay?"

you tilted your head, "of course. why do you ask?"

"well━" trey sighed, "nevermind." (he's long since learned you can't be read or understood so easily.)

you nodded, leaning back in your chair and grabbing a treat from the table, biting into it slowly as you stared off in thought, feeling the frustration bubble in your chest again.

you weren't upset because the prefect was staying with leona ━ far from it, actually. you respected the prefect; you fought alongside them twice now. and they often paid you visits at the botanical garden, telling you they enjoyed coming because you made the garden peaceful and it gave them a break from the chaos, (even you were flattered by their words). they were nice and had admittedly become a friend to you.

rather, you were upset because they only mentioned leona. after a month of being turned away by ruggie and hoping for the prince to turn up at the garden, the very mention of leona caused frustration to build and patience to dry.

you were tired of waiting.

you sighed loudly, setting your cup on the table and standing from your seat. you turned to trey, who watched you curiously. with a rather forced calm tone in your voice, you said; "i just remembered i have to take care of something in the botanical garden. it's important. tell riddle i'm sorry."

trey could only nod in his confusion as he watched you take your leave from the maze. it wasn't like you to forget anything regarding plants, let alone the botanical garden. perhaps he'll ask you later, you do seem to be in a hurry.

you didn't stop for anything on your way to savanaclaw; not when cater tried to ask you where you were going and not when you almost ran into a very confused periwinkle-haired boy upon exiting heartslabyul. you didn't care about the odd looks you received from the students as you entered savanaclaw's mirror, and you had no intention of turning away when you spotted ruggie and jack.

ruggie noticed you quickly, looking a little tense as he seen the out-of-character expression of frustration on your face. when you approached him and the freshman he was talking to, he didn't bother to come up with an excuse (besides, he did warn leona). he pointed over his shoulder and nodded, "i'll show you to his room."

you nodded in return, pleased with his response, "thank you." you glanced at the wolf beastman staring at the two of you in confusion, "sorry to interrupt, jack."

"oh, it's fine." he waved off with a tilt of his head, watching as ruggie led you into the dorm building.

when you reached leona's dorm room, you could hear the familiar sound of a complaining grim. you didn't wait as you immediately pushed the door open, and right away did your eyes meet familiar green (an emerald color that you've always found so pretty to look at).

leona tensed, his grip on the monster's neck loosening. he stared at you, silent as you narrowed your eyes on him. the lion was at a loss as he noticed the frown on your lips and the tilt in your brow. (are you angry? at him? perhaps he should've listened to ruggie.)

the prefect caught onto the tension pretty quickly, grabbing grim, who was about to start complaining again, and quickly approaching ruggie, who was standing behind you in the doorway. you moved out of the way to allow them to pass, yet you remained glaring at leona, who was oddly quiet in the presence of you. the door shut behind you after their exit and the silence between the two of you seemed to thicken.

that is, until your familiar monotone broke it, "you're avoiding me." you stated, taking a step towards the prince. you hardly gave him a moment to respond other than the sound of what might've been the beginning of no, before you continued. "why are you avoiding me?"

leona scoffed (the only noise he could make, as he was unable to muster a response now that he was faced with the boy he had fallen in love with. the boy he had been avoiding because he was under the belief that your feelings had changed after his overblot.)

"leona," you said, rather sternly. (and he liked when you said his name, even if the situation for it wasn't ideal.) "why are you avoiding me? it's been over a month, why━" you went quiet, as if you had lost a bit of your nerve. or perhaps, you were just struck by a thought. you tilted your head and sighed through your nose, "if this is your form of rejection, it's terrible. i'd prefer you'd do it person instead of avoiding me. maybe then i'd feel better, because it... hurts."

oh.

you had gotten closer, your eyes still refusing to leave his even when it became obvious that he was uncomfortable under the sudden interrogation. "why are you avoiding me, leona?"

"i'm not avoiding you." he scowled, believing that would help sell his excuse.

it was your turn to scoff (and he must've noticed how you were so much more expressive around him. how could he not?) "if that's true, then why have you not been to the botanical garden? why have we not had our common banters and conversations? why do you have ruggie send me away with ridiculous excuses? what could possibly excuse this as anything but you avoiding me?"

you waited, expecting an answer from the lion. but leona could say nothing, he couldn't find an excuse that would make sense with his behavior. he was avoiding you; it was that simple.

you sighed, expression relaxing back into its usual monotonous state, finally tearing your eyes away from his. you were quiet as you stared off to the side, and leona still found himself unable to say anything. (did this mean you still held the same feelings for him? had he not driven you away?)

"reject me."

what?

"what?" leona asked, almost harshly.

you looked back at him, head tilting as you repeated your words, "reject me and i'll leave you alone. i'd feel better if you rejected me now, to my face, then continue to avoid me. reject me." you were stern and stoic as you spoke, but leona still noticed how you clenched your dorm uniform in your fists, and how your eyes were staring to gloss the more you spoke. "tell me my feelings are unrequited. that the flowers were thrown away and that you didn't enjoy the time we spent in the botanical garden. reject me."

leona knew it wasn't fair for him to feel angry at your words. he's the reason you're standing in front of him, asking the prince to reject you since that did seem to be the impression he gave after avoiding you for so long. yet he couldn't help but glare at you, who remained unwavering as you stared right back at him, eyes glossed with unshed tears the longer you waited.

leona knew he shouldn't find you so wonderful to look at, even as the air around you was thick in tension and the tightness in your chests were unknowingly shared between the two of you. you always managed to look amazing to him, even now, and even when you were covered in dirt after tending to the botanical garden.

he shifted in place and your eyes caught sight of familiar colors almost hidden behind the rectangular lamp on his desk. blue salvia, white carnation, and red chrysanthemum.

you sighed, relieved as you met his eyes again. yet more firm in your next words. "you can't, can you?"

"why are you even here?" leona couldn't help but ask, scowling at you (fake, you could tell).

"because i love you." you answered, simple and straightforward, like the red chrysanthemum. leona faltered in his persona, the forced scowl on his face turning into that of a frown, ears twitching as he searched your face. (for what, he didn't know.) you shook your head, eyes flickering between his own, frowning at him in return, "have you really not realized that? i love you ━ even after you've avoided me. i don't think my feelings even faltered. they're stronger now."

you raised a hand towards his face, but paused, "i was scared, you know?" leona glanced between you and your hand, the unfamiliar racing of his heart so loud he wondered if you heard it. "i thought we wouldn't be able to save you. i though i'd lose you."

your hand was on his face now, fingers gentle as you traced his cheek, and leona had to refrain from leaning into you. this was new. the feelings you stirred in him was new, but he didn't reject it; he couldn't, not when he began to rely on them while he was avoiding you.

"please, leona," you said, rather softly, expression gentle compared to the monotone expression you always carried around anyone else. "let me love you."

leona knows he's fallen in love with the boy from the garden, and he knows now, that he loves him too.

pt2. i actually really like how this turned out although this wasn't exatly my vision lol.

i think leona is a neat character to write for. he's seen as lazy and prideful (and yeah, he is) but a lot of the time, people fail to realize that that isn't his whole person.

he's the second born in a royal family, and that itself is reason enough to not be the biggest fan of his status. the second is always seen as second best because their older sibling, is well, older. they're the one taking the throne and what is the second born going to do? nothing, because they can't have the throne after the first born, that goes to the first's born child once they step down.

he spent his whole life being looked down on by the servants in his own kingdom because he just didn't fit up to expectations. he would hear everything, all the whispers and the insults, yet he did nothing except take it. and naturally that would make anyone feel insecure. i know i would if i was in his place; hearing people whisper about me being nothing compared to my older brother?? that's harsh, especially since he was still a child while hearing all this. what do you think all those harsh words will do to a child's psyche? absolutely destroy it.

so yeah, i think he's insecure. his entire life and talent is seen as second best; even in nrc when standing alongside the heir of briar alley he still isn't first. so of course, that would fuck with someone's already shaky psyche of viewing yourself as nothing more than second place. i also think this really plays into why he's still in nrc despite being intelligent and magically talented. riddle couldn't collar him because his magic was so strong and he's as cunning as he is smart so that begs the question why hasn't he graduated? i think it's because he doesn't want to go home any more than he already has to when it comes to holiday breaks or when cheka pays him visits. he'd rather stay in nrc, where he can keep up appearances and avoid hearing the whispers in the hall. (and plus, they already look down on him, what's failing a few years going to do? it can't get any worse.)

so when it comes to gaining romantic feelings for someone and someone gaining romantic feelings for him, i don't think he'd know what to do. in his mind he's second place, that's all he'll ever be, yet he entertains the thought of being someone's first choice. and when he is, he's unsure. can he really be someone's first choice? can he really be seen as anything more than the second-best category he spent his whole life in?

it's why i wrote the reader the way i did. he loves leona and he's willing to prove that to him by pushing past his own trauma to show leona that "yes, i love you. i pick you. i want you." and leona doesn't know how to react to this to confession so he chooses to avoid him, scared he's seen he's never someone's first and that the reader's feelings have changed. but when the reader shows up in front of him, showing a part of himself that he's never shown to anyone else and admitting to leona that his feelings haven't changed and he's still in love with him, probably even more despite leona avoiding him, leona has to accept that reader chose him, that he loves him.

in other words, i just think he's neat.

i'm done rambling now lol :")

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

[corroded-hellfire]

practically begging for a drabble in the universe as as you wish where they finally get the place to themselves and don’t have to be quiet

You say drabble, @munson-blurbs and I write over 5k words. Please enjoy this little glimpse at what happened right after part one 🥰

Warnings: smut, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), oral, m and f receiving, older!eddie, babysitter!reader, breeding kink

Words: 5.1k

[As You Wish masterlist]

Eating outside in February in Indiana wouldn’t be your first choice, but when your last class gets out after everyone else has had time to claim indoor spots to chow down, you’re forced to eat your lunch at the picnic table that’s getting most direct sunlight. At least you’d been able to grab a nice hot bowl of soup to keep you warm. The sun comes out from behind a cloud, and you think that maybe your luck is changing when you look up and see Peter strolling over to you. 

“Not again,” you groan under your breath. 

“Hey,” Peter says as he takes the seat opposite you. His smile looks genuine enough, but you know it’s hiding the smarmy intentions beneath. 

“Hi,” you reply before shoving another spoonful of soup in your mouth. 

“Aren’t you cold sitting out here?” Peter takes his hands out of his pockets and blows his hot breath on them. 

No, I’m perfectly comfortable, you moron, you think to yourself. Peter is a nice enough guy, but ever since he started hounding you about why you wouldn’t go on a second date with him, he’d been insufferable. Why couldn’t he just let it go?

“A little,” you admit. “Couldn’t find a space inside.”

“My car is parked just over there,” Peter says, nodding his head in the direction of the parking lot to your left. “You can eat in there; I don’t mind.”

“No, thanks. I’m fine here.”

Peter sighs and tilts his head to the side as if he’s a confused puppy. “Why are you afraid to be alone with me?”

You almost choke on your latest sip of soup. “Afraid? I’m not afraid, Peter. I’m alone with you right now, aren’t I?”

Peter shrugs and it takes everything in you not to roll your eyes. 

“So, why no second date then?”

The moment the words leave his lips, you drop your spoon into your bowl with a clang and bring your hands up to rub over your face.

“Peter,” you say with a deep sigh, “we’ve been over this.”

“I just want a straight answer from you,” Peter says, as if this isn’t something you’ve already given him many times over. 

“How about a list?” you snap, unable to hold back your frustration any longer. “You talk with your mouth full. You called nursing a ‘girl major.’ You stared at the waitress’s chest the entire time she was at our table. And when the people next to us started speaking Spanish, you mumbled something about learning to ‘speak American.’ Which, Uncle Sam, isn’t even a God damn language. So,” your voice is rising and attracting the attention of other students, but you couldn't care less, “if you would kindly fuck off, maybe you can leave with your testicles intact.”

With that, you gather your food and rush off to the nearest payphone. Your fingers, still slightly numb from the cold, dial the number as though on autopilot. To your utter relief, he picks up.

“Scott’s Auto Body, this is Eddie speaking.”

It’s been two days since you two hooked up, devouring each other carnally in his bed while his wife wasn’t home, and you were left unsure about how to proceed. Yes, Eddie had confessed that he had feelings for you–feelings much deeper than the lust that had consumed you that evening. But, as with anything, there were consequences to these actions. And what if the consequence was that he no longer wanted you around? That you only served as a painful reminder of the way he broke his marriage vows?

“Yo? Anyone there?”

You clear your throat, forcing yourself to speak into the receiver. “H-Hi. It’s me.” You bite your lower lip and cringe. Me? How the hell is he supposed to know who ‘me’ is?

“Hey,” Eddie says, and you could swear there’s relief flooding his tone. “How are you?”

The concern in his voice mixed with the fact that he knew it was you simply by a stuttering greeting has you flustered and gripping the phone even tighter.

“I’m okay,” you manage. There’s a beat of silence before Eddie replies.

“Are you?”

“Do you remember that time you told me if I, uh, wanted to bail on something, or…”

“Is someone bothering you?” His tone is firm but kind and it reminds you all over again of why you fell for him.

“More annoying than anything,” you admit. 

“Is it that prick you went on a date with months ago?” 

Did you mention that recently? Or did Eddie remember that from when you told him a few weeks back?

“Unfortunately,” you say.

Eddie sighs. “Jesus, take the hint, pal.”

“Oh, he’s had more than hints,” you tell him. “He’s been given very direct answers multiple times.”

The only sound that comes from the other end is the faint banging and scraping from the garage. You lick over your cold, chapped lips as you wait for him to say something. 

“Where are you?” he finally asks.

“Having lunch on campus. It was peaceful at first.”

This time there’s no silence as Eddie quickly shoots back with, “Do you want me to come get you?”

“Only if you’re on your lunch break. I’ll even buy you something to eat,” you offer. “What are you in the mood for?”

“You.”

The answer and how he gave it so immediately has your face burning despite the bitter breeze blowing outside. You shuffle your boots on the ground and take a self-conscious glance around, as if someone could hear what he just said to you.

“Eddie,” you lightly admonish. 

“Love when you say my name.” The way he clears his throat after the admission has you wondering if he meant to say it aloud at all. It gives you butterflies either way. “Be there in twenty, pretty thing.”

Before Eddie gets there, you grab two sandwiches for you to split. To save yourself any possible embarrassment, you pretend that Eddie’s infectious grin is more for the food than it is for you. 

It’s more difficult to do this when roaming eyes accompany his smile; the chocolate hues soaking in every last millimeter of your body. “Hi,” he murmurs, reaching over to help you with your seatbelt. You don’t need any assistance, and he knows this, too, but it grants him the opportunity to brush his fingers against yours. 

“Where to?” he asks, unwrapping his sandwich from the thin plastic covering and taking a bite. The nickname ‘baby,’ is on the tip of his tongue, but he has to hold back. At least until the two of you figure out what the fuck is going on. 

“Home, please,” you say softly, tearing off a piece of your own PB&J. You silently curse yourself for getting such a childish sandwich, but considering the way Eddie’s practically inhaling his, he doesn’t appear to be bothered. 

He’s only driven a few blocks when he breaks the awkward silence, leaping right onto the back of the elephant in the room. Or car, rather. 

“So, um, about what happened on Saturday,” Eddie starts, but you quickly cut him off. 

“I know…you’re married.” You lower your head, too heavy with shame. He’s going to say that I shouldn’t babysit the boys anymore. He’s going to call it all a huge mistake. “It never should have happened.”

You feel your head move slightly as Eddie takes his forefinger and turns your chin to face him. “But it did. And I’m not mad about it.” His voice is firm, confident…it’s something you’ve never witnessed before when he’s talking to his horrible wife. 

“…you’re not?”

Eddie shakes his head with a small smile, unable to hide his amusement at your obvious surprise. “Not even close. I’m only mad that we can’t, y’know, actually be together.” His hands grip the steering wheel tighter as he says it; it can’t be a coincidence. 

But we can, you think, pressing your lips together in an effort to silence yourself, just leave her and be with me. 

Instead, you nod and mumble, “I know.” You take another small bite of the sandwich, hoping the sticky peanut butter will glue your tongue to the roof of your mouth and keep you from saying something stupid and clingy. 

Eddie looks at you with wide eyes. “Do you…do you regret it?”

It’s a loaded question. Do you regret letting Eddie Munson fuck you in his marriage bed—the one he shared with his wife—splitting you open while moaning about how good you felt? Not at all. Do you regret that it stirred up feelings that can’t be reciprocated because of his marital status? Absolutely. 

“No, I just wish…” you trail off, forgoing your original thought, lest it sound like an ultimatum. Instead, you pose a question of your own. “Saturday night, when you told me you cared about me…how did you mean that?”

He sighs, coming to a complete stop at the stop sign. Throwing the car in park, he turns to you with a look of longing and desire.

“Like this.” Eddie leans in and kisses you, tucking his upper lip under yours. His hand caresses your cheek, and he finishes it off with a soft bite to the plush of your lower lip. 

The honk of an irritated driver snaps you both from your passionate stupor, and Eddie uses his right hand to shift gears and his left to give a one-finger wave. You assume that that’s the end of the conversation until he speaks again. 

“I’ve cared about you since I saw how great you were with my kids,” he admits. “Tried to convince myself that it was just because, y’know, if something happened to you, it would affect them, but…”

“But?”

“But it was so much fuckin’ more than that.” He doesn’t have enough time to list all the ways he cares about you, the ways he dreams of loving and protecting you. “And now that I really know you, shit, I can’t imagine a world without you in it.”

Eddie stops the car again, ignoring the angered shouting of the person in the vehicle behind you as he turns on the flashers. Before you can open your mouth to ask what he’s doing, his lips are on yours again. His large hands cup your face, the callouses giving you goosebumps as they glide over the soft skin of your cheeks. The butterflies in your stomach seem to float up into your head as you feel lightheaded when the two of you separate. 

Not wanting to truly bring that wall down and let him see just how much this is affecting you, you attempt to play it cool—hide how flustered his tender kiss has you. 

“And, uh,” you say, clearing your throat before you continue, “what you said about wanting to hear the noises I make…?”

Immediately, Eddie’s eyes darken, and it ignites a fire in your otherwise cold body. He leans in towards you and his voice is low and silky as he says, “I wanted to hear every. Single. Sound.”

It’s getting more difficult by the second to restrain yourself when he makes you want to climb into his lap right then and there.

“And do you? Do you, um, still want it?”

A groan comes from deep in his throat as his eyes never leave yours. “So fucking bad, baby.”

The intense hunger his eyes hold almost has you snapping and throwing yourself at him, but you manage to hold onto that last single thread of restraint you have. Instead, you figure this would be better in a place that isn’t being invaded by the frigid air or when anyone could look in at you two since you’re still in the middle of the road.

“Is anyone at your house?”

Instead of giving you an answer, Eddie puts the truck into drive and presses down on the gas pedal so hard that you think it will fall through the floor of the car. The sudden speed has you pressed to the back of your seat, and you laugh at how impatient he is to get you back to his place. 

“Fuck, I love that laugh,” Eddie mumbles more to himself than you. 

When you get to the house, it’s so hard not to tear into one another on your way to the front door—even with the biting chill in the air. But there are neighbors and the last thing that needs to happen is someone assuming anything is going on between Eddie and the babysitter and make Brittany out to be some kind of martyr. 

As soon as the door is closed behind you though, Eddie has his chest pressed up against your back, his warmth seeping into you.

“Fuck, baby, I don’t know where to touch you first,” he growls in your ear.

“How about…here.” You reach down for his hands and bring them under your shirt. Sliding them up your tummy, you settle his palms right on your breasts. There’s a big goofy grin on Eddie’s face as he gently squeezes at the bra-covered flesh.

“Love these, sweet girl.”

Closing your eyes, you let your head drop back against Eddie’s shoulder as he fondles you. 

“You have any idea how many times I thought about your hands on me like this? And other ways?” you ask, your breath bitching when his thumb brushes over your nipple.

“And what about your hands on me?” Eddie asks before pressing hot kisses against the side of your neck. 

“Mmm, thought about that too,” you admit. “But I mostly thought about my mouth on you.” You unzip his coveralls and drop to your knees, pushing his boxers down so you can take him in. Precum pearls at the tip of his cock, threatening to drip down the shaft along the thick vein that runs through it. 

You wrap your hand around the base, giving kitten licks to his leaking slit. 

“Don’t tease me, please,” Eddie whines, cupping his own balls briefly just for the extra sensation. 

You move them out of the way, settling in a bit more. “You mean like this?” you ask salaciously, pressing little kisses along the underside of his erection before sliding your tongue along it. 

The man whimpers like a damn puppy, clenching his fists and flexing his thighs in a feeble attempt to hang onto his sanity. 

“O-Okay, yeah, please, fuuuuuck,” he groans as you take all of him into your mouth. His legs twitch, and his knees nearly buckle and have him crumpling to the ground. “Yeah, right there…shit, thas’ perfect.”

Eddie’s pretty moans encourage you each time you bob your head and envelop him in the warmth of your mouth again. One of his hands rests gently on the top of your head; not grabbing or forcing, simply resting there as if he needs to be touching you in every possible way that he can. 

“Christ,” Eddie says with labored breath as he looks down at you with heavy-lidded eyes. “I’ve imagined those pretty lips wrapped around m-my cock so many times. But fuck…nothing beats the actual sight of it. Love watching as I disappear inside your sweet little mouth.” 

His words have you moaning around his cock, sending delicious vibrations throughout his body. It’s enough to have him teetering on the edge. The hand that isn’t resting in your hair comes up and rubs over his face as he drops his head back and stares at the ceiling with unfocused eyes. Whimpers spill from Eddie’s lips like a prayer, and you start to move your head faster, trying to let your jaw hang looser. 

“Shit, baby,” Eddie manages through panting breaths, “I-I’m not gonna last.”

Keeping up your motions, not pausing for a moment, you moan around him to let him know what you want. You’ve dreamt — both daydreams and sleeping dreams — about him finishing inside your mouth and you need it to come true. 

“Yeah?” Eddie asks. Another moan around his throbbing dick is how you deign to respond. “So close, princess. Being such a good girl for me—shit. My sweet girl has such a sinful tongue.”

His words have you practically dripping, and you need nothing more than for Eddie to peel your soaked panties off of you. One of your hands slides up and cups his balls, which has him practically keeling over. 

“Fuck! Babe, I’m gonna—I’m gonna, shit, I’m cumming.”

Eddie’s warm release fills your mouth, and the tangy taste is like heaven on your tongue. You make sure to milk him for everything that he’s got before you pull off and swallow it all. A little bit dribbles down the side of your mouth, but you catch it with your thumb and pop it into your mouth, making sure to get every last drop. 

“Holy shit,” Eddie says, trying to catch his breath. “C’mere.”  He tosses his coveralls and boxers aside and helps you off your knees and into the bedroom. “Show me that perfect fuckin’ body of yours.”

Anyone else ever saying that to you in your life would make you self-conscious and be tempted to hide yourself. But Eddie makes you feel safe and desired in a way you never thought possible. He wants to see you like this. It’s a dizzying thought.

You comply, heat blooming up your body towards your face as his gaze is trained on you while he makes himself comfortable up against the headboard. Every little movement, his eyes track it. It’s like you stripping down bare is a class he has to take and he’s the most studious student there ever was. By the time you’re slipping off the last offending item—your drenched panties—you’ve already forgotten that the heap of your clothes is there at the foot of the bed. 

Crawling up the mattress to him, you’re about to straddle his waist when he shakes his head. He scoots down a bit so his head is resting flat against his pillow.

“Want you to ride my face, sweet girl.”

The request catches you by surprise and you can’t help the pinch that forms on your brow.

“Are you sure?”

Instead of a sexy or witty remark, Eddie looks you dead in the eye so you know how serious he’s being. “If you don’t sit on my face right now, I will die.”

Leave it to Eddie to bring the theatrics into the bed with you. Still, you give him a skeptical look as you raise an eyebrow. 

“You might die if I do,” you say. 

“Bullshit,” Eddie says as he reaches for you. Despite your reluctance, you let him pull you up higher towards his mouth. Eddie knows you though and can tell there’s something else you want to say. He looks at you imploringly, doe eyes blinking up at you.

“No one’s ever even eaten me out before you did,” you admit. It surprises Eddie, but he puts a pin in that for later—right now he really needs you to sit on his face. 

“Well, let me show you what you’ve been missing out on, babe.” He gently tugs you up so that your pussy is hovering over his mouth. “Now, I’m gonna eat you out, and I need to hear your beautiful noises, yeah?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Fuck,” he moans as he wraps his hands around your thighs and lowers you onto his lips. His tongue glides through your folds and fucks in and out of your hole. You seize the opportunity to grind your exposed clit against his nose. 

“Eddie, feels s’good,” you whimper. 

Eddie moves away for a second, and you frown at the loss of sensation. “I know you can be louder than that,” he grins before resuming his previous position. 

Nerves flood your body. You’re not used to being loud during sex; no guy before Eddie had even given you that urge. You will yourself to relax and let him take care of you, your hands gripping the headboard as you ride his face. 

“Yes, Eddie! Holy fucking shit,” you cry out, feeling his hold on your thighs tighten. “You’re gonna make me cum all over your face.” 

Eddie just gives a muffled hum of approval, moving his tongue but keeping his head still so you can keep rhythmically pressing your clit against his nose. His tongue is magic, fucking in and out of you like he can’t get enough. 

Your release hits you hard, and you lean back to brace your hands on his thighs as you ride out your high, practically screaming your moans loud enough for Peter to hear back on campus. Ironic that his persistence for a second date drove you into the arms—and bed—of another man. 

You keep whimpering “Eddie” over and over again as you come down, a pathetic little mewl that has him melting. He gently lays you on the bed and hovers over your gorgeous body, pressing kisses to your lips, smearing them with your own slick. 

“Love how you say my name, sweetheart,” he murmurs, a slight growl in his voice. “Also love how you taste.”

The word “love” plays on a loop in your head. You want to hear him say it about you. You want him to make love to you, not just fuck you. Could that fantasy ever come to fruition?

The touch of Eddie’s hand on yours interrupts your longing thoughts. He brings your palm to his cock, and you instinctively wrap your fingers around the hardened length.

“Got me hard again, baby,” Eddie hisses, “like a damn teenager or somethin’.”

You can’t hold back any longer, and the words spill out of you. “Inside me, Eddie,” you plead. “Please.”

“You don’t have to beg, but I’d be lying if I said I hated it.” He smirks, watching as your hand glides up and down his erection. He hasn’t been this turned on since…well, since he came home to you wearing his clothes two nights ago. 

“Please, need you inside me, wanna feel how nice you fill me up.” You open your legs wider, and Eddie situates himself between them. Your pussy clenches around nothing, desperate for some friction. 

He’s got one hand on your right breast, the other holds his cock. “Ready for me?”

“Yes, yes, God yes.”

You feel him push into you, and you instinctively arch your back. His calloused hands slide around your waist as he gives slow, gentle thrusts until bottoming out. 

“How’s that? Y’good?”

“So, so good.” 

His thrusts get deeper and more intentional, and he grins when he hears the small moans escaping your lips. 

“E-Eddie?” Your voice is a strong whisper; it’s all you can manage with the way he’s pounding into you. 

“Yes, princess?” A shiver snakes its way down your spine at the nickname. Princess. You’re Eddie’s princess. 

You stumble over your words, flustered by the new pet name and anxious about how your next request will be received. “Can you, um, say what you said the other night?”

Eddie’s brow furrows in confusion as his hips keep a steady pace, unruly thatch of pubic hair deliciously grazing your clit. “I said a lot the other night, baby,” he chuckles. “You’ll have to be, uh, a little more specific.”

You try and push away the embarrassment, reminding yourself that you’re safe with Eddie. “When you said y-you were going to fill me so good and knock m-me up,” you try again, squeezing your eyes shut in anticipation of a bad reaction. 

Eddie groans and gives an involuntary hard thrust of his hips. “Holy shit, you’re telling me you like that?” He throws his head back when you nod. “Fuck, baby girl, you have no idea how hot that is to me.”

“So hot,” you agree with another feeble nod of your head. 

Eddie grips your waist and flips the two of you so he’s leaning back against the headboard and you’re in his lap. “Shit, Princess. You want my babies, huh? Want me to fill you with my cum, huh? Won’t let any drip out of you, gotta keep it all in there.”

Your eyes practically roll back in your head. All you want is his babies, to walk around with a swell to your belly because Eddie Munson fucked you until he got you pregnant. 

“That’s it,” he continues through gritted teeth, “I know you can take it. Such a good girl, wanting all of my cum.”

“Y-Yes, Mr. Munson,” you whimper pathetically, “I’m your good girl.”

Mr. Munson has his brain short-circuiting, and his hips snap upwards at a rapid pace. He wants this to last forever, but the way you look and feel has him on the edge of release once more. 

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum. Call me ‘Mr. Munson’ again, baby,” Eddie pleads, pupils blown wide as he begs to hear your beautiful voice. 

“Mmm, want your babies, Mr. Munson!” You watch as he throws his head back at the sound of your moans, keeping his frantic pace. “Ri-Right there! Yes, yes, yes!”

The two of you come down from your highs together, you slumped against his chest and his hands resting on your bare back. 

“M’pretty sure that’s the best sex I’ve ever had,” Eddie finally manages through heaving breaths.

You peek up at him with incredulous eyes. “Really?”

“Hell fuckin’ yes.” He leans down and presses soft kisses along the expanse of your neck. “Everything about you turns me on so ridiculously much. It’s insane. The more I learn about you, the hotter you get.”

You grin to yourself and nuzzle your head against his chest. “Was the best for me, too,” you admit.

“Yeah?” Eddie cocks an eyebrow in disbelief. There’s no way he can compete with the younger guys throwing themselves at you…is there?

“Are you kidding?” You look up at him with a shy smile. “All you have to do is look at me and I get wet.”

“Good to know,” Eddie says with a playful smirk. He turns away for a moment before whipping his head back around, peering at you dramatically. “How ‘bout now?”

You press your lips to his in what’s supposed to be a romantic kiss, but your smiles get in the way. 

“Hey, uh, did you…” he starts, clears his throat, and then tries again. “Was I really the first guy to eat you out?”

You nod, downcasting your eyes in embarrassment. “No one ever offered, but I never asked or anything, so…”

Eddie takes your chin in his hand and pulls your gaze back to him. “You never have to ask me,” he murmurs, nudging his nose against yours. “I love being able to make you feel good. If I ever turn down eating your pussy, call an ambulance, because I clearly need medical attention.”

Giggling, you go to rest your head on his shoulder when you catch sight of the clock on his bedside table. “Oh, I have to go get the boys,” you say, trying not to sound too disappointed. 

“Pretty sure we left a trail of clothes around the house. You go get the troublemakers; I’ll clean up.”

You nod and lean up to press a tender kiss to his lips. He cups your face in his hands and just stares. “Don’t want to let you go,” he murmurs, just short of a whine. 

“I won’t be long,” you whisper against his lips.

“Hurry back,” he calls out dramatically, but he’s only half-joking. All he wants is you in his bed, tangled in the sheets, touching each other like you’ll never get enough. 

You reach for your purse and dig out your keys. “Wait, I don’t have my car. You picked me up from campus.”

“Take my truck, baby,” Eddie offers, taking his own set of keys from the coveralls laying on the ground and tossing them to you. “We can take the kids to the park or something then the Munson men will bring you back to your car.”

“Such gentlemen.” You giggle when Eddie bows, still fully naked. 

It feels like a scavenger hunt to find all the articles of clothing you’d shed, but you’re finally able to get dressed and dart out of the house to pick up Ryan and Luke from school. 

When you return back, small Munsons in tow, the scent of just-fried bacon wafts past your nostrils. 

“That is the best smell in the world,” Luke declares. He walks towards the kitchen as if he’s in a trance.

You follow behind him and Ryan and see Eddie washing a frying pan out in the sink. 

“Daddy!” Luke clings to Eddie’s hips, surprised to see his dad home early. He squeezes him tight, and Eddie has to swallow his emotions before turning around to greet him. 

“Hey, buddy.” He drops the pan and sponge in the sink and scoops Luke up and presses a kiss to his head, then ruffles Ryan’s hair. 

“Bacon smells good,” Ryan says, peering at the counter where the strips lay on oil-soaked Bounty sheets. 

“Thought it could be a snack for the ride to the park. How’s that sound?” Eddie asks, already knowing the answer. 

Both boys cheer, with Luke breaking out into some sort of kung-fu inspired happy dance. His little feet shuffle back and forth along the kitchen tile while his little hands punch the air. 

Eddie just laughs and tells his sons, “Go change out of your school clothes and grab your heavy coats.”

Once they’re out of the kitchen, you raise an eyebrow at Eddie and speak softly to him. “Hungry after such a vigorous workout?”

“A little.” He chuckles and gives a shrug. “But really, I was paranoid that it would smell like sex in here.”

You giggle and cover your mouth, worried that you’re too loud. The last thing you need is for the boys to ask what’s so funny. 

“You’re so fucking cute,” he whispers, kissing just under your earlobe. 

Ryan and Luke come back into the kitchen before you can respond, so you just stand there flustered. It goes unnoticed, since the boys ramble on as the food gets packed up, sneakers are tied, and doors are locked. 

“This is the best day ever!” Luke announces, opening the car door and climbing into his booster seat. 

“I agree.” Eddie throws a wink in your direction, and your stomach does a flip as you buckle your seatbelt. 

Maybe there is more than just lust between you and Mr. Munson. 

[wholoveseggs]

Hi! I just wanted to tell you that I love your stories. They are just so incredible. Every day I hope for some new post from you, it makes my day every time so much better!

I also wanted to try and request something. Elijah x Reader were they are maybe best friends and she is recovering from an abusive relationship and he finds it out. The end is up to you. Thank you so much!

I apologize for spelling mistakes, english is not my first language.

Perfect Messes

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

After a difficult relationship that left you struggling to rebuild your life, you reconnect with an old friend who helps you rediscover what true love feels like.

♡♡ Thanks for the request beautiful anon! sorry it took so long. This one was a bit personal for me... so I wanted to do it right ~xoxo♡♡

5.6k words - Warnings: smutt, so much fluff, little bit of angst, vague mentions of abuse, panic attack, white knight Elijah {my fav}, soft and romantic, lots of friendly banter {in bed}, Elijah being protective && slow dancing...

♡♡ Tag-List ♡♡

Trying to fix my tags! I re-added all of you, and now you will be posted at the top! If you no longer wished to be tagged just shoot me a DM {I won't be offended} xoxo~

@gorgeouslydangerous @starkleila @lydia1369sworld @notleylaaa @vampiresluv

@myanmy @xflowerbombxo @maryvibes @always-and-forever-daydreaming

@spnaquakindgdom @amournoir @meeom @damienmorton @wickedmuse

@cs-please @complicatedandconfusing-25 @youcanhavemybuckanyday @akala6670229 @yeaiamme2

@itsjulzandmydiamonds @spideysbabe @witch-of-letters @elijahstwink @rosecentury

@amanda08319 @starshipcookie @li-da-savage @veggie-eggrolls @spideybv28

@sunkissedebony97 @idk00sblog @savannaounana @sekaishell

@loving-and-dreaming @fancycassie-stayfancy @hcqwxrtss123 @iamawkwardandshy @ziayamikaelson @b1tchy

The restaurant Elijah picked out was so typically him; small, quiet, and dimly lit.

He always preferred the atmosphere of these little hole-in-the-wall restaurants to the more popular ones that were always packed. It made him feel like he was part of an exclusive club that only a few knew about, and that's how he liked it.

It had been almost two years since you had seen him, but judging by his choice of restaurants, not much had changed. He was still a kind and intelligent man, preferring to observe before acting, with an impeccable taste in all things.

He was, by all means, a gentleman. He had always treated you with respect, always listened when you had a problem and would give you advice. Solid, reliable, sweet Elijah.

But for you, everything had changed, your world had tilted and flipped on its axis, and you couldn't tell if you were right side up anymore.

You looked nervously out the window, you didn't like sitting next to it. Anyone could see you and take advantage. You subconsciously picked at your nails, a habit you had developed recently. Your therapist had told you that the trauma of your past would manifest in strange ways. She was right, but knowing the why didn't change the fact that you couldn't stop doing it.

Elijah had been uncharacteristically quiet since he sat down across from you, studying you. You didn't like it, firstly because it made you feel like a bit of a zoo animal, and secondly, because he was likely noticing things you had been hoping to keep hidden.

He watched you glance out the window again and again, could see the little scars and flecks of blood around your cuticles, could hear the way your heart would race when someone walked too close to your table. His once carefree and bubbly friend had become a scared rabbit, flinching at loud noises and sudden movements.

The worst part was that you seemed so resigned to your fate, like this was your life now. It broke his heart.

You didn't like the awkward silence that had settled between the two of you. You fidgeted with the napkin in your lap, refusing to make eye contact. The two of you had once been such close friends, you would laugh and joke together for hours, but that had changed, and not for the better.

You could tell that he knew. The way he was looking at you, his brow furrowed in concern, his eyes darting to every new scar that was visible, he knew. It made you feel this deep, unending shame that had been haunting you from the first day you ex had laid a hand on you.

You frowned and turned away. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. You wondered what he would think of you now, and if he would hate the person you've become.

"What made you reach out?" He asked, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

You swallowed a bit of food you were picking at and paused. "I guess I was just ready to start living again," you said, and you took a sip of water.

"You weren't living?" He asked.

"I was surviving," you answered.

He frowned and reached across the table, and his hand wrapped around yours. You stiffened, then relaxed, his touch warm and comforting.

"Well I'm glad you're back," he said with a smile.

You nodded and tried to smile, but you couldn't help the tears that filled your eyes. His eyes widened and he let go of your hand. It was always the unexpected, simple words that made you fall apart.

"Oh no, please don't cry. What's wrong?" He asked.

"I'm sorry. I'm just glad to see you," you said.

You took a shaky breath and tried to get yourself under control. You felt a piece of fabric being placed in your hand, it was his handkerchief, a simple white piece of fabric with a green ‘EM’ embroidered in the corner.

"There is nothing to be sorry for, darling," he said.

You smiled a little and dabbed your eyes, you missed the way he would call you darling, or love, or sweetheart. It had been so long.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" He asked.

He was watching you carefully, his dark eyes studying you as if he could pick apart every thought in your head. You had forgotten how intimidating his stare could be.

You sighed and looked at the ceiling, and you tried to find the words. "I made a mistake, and I'm still recovering from it."

"Recovering?" He asked.

His eyes flickered to the scars on your arms, and the ones that were peeking out from under your shirt collar. He thought that he already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from you.

You closed your eyes, the pain in your chest growing stronger. "You remember that guy I started seeing? Not long before we lost touch."

"I do."

"Well, we weren't a good match, and he wasn't the greatest guy." You said, and you fiddled with the edge of his handkerchief.

"He hurt you."

It was a statement, not a question, and his expression was grim. You nodded and wiped the tear that slid down your cheek. You weren't sure if you were ready to have this conversation, and you hated that he had figured it out on his own.

"Yes," you whispered, the shame filling your body again.

He was silent for a long moment, and you mustered up the courage to look at him. You expected to see pity or disgust, but his eyes were calm.

"It wasn't your fault," he said.

"That's what everyone says," you said a little too sharply, the bitterness clear in your voice.

"Why don't you believe it?" He asked.

You shook your head and wiped the tears from your cheeks. You hated the way you cried when you were stressed, it always made you feel weak.

"My father would beat Niklaus so fiercely that he couldn't leave his bed for days. I always blamed myself. Who was I, if I could not protect him from harm?" He said.

Your heart hurt for him, for the pain that had been so deeply ingrained in him. He never talked about his childhood. He told you it was a long time ago and didn't bother him anymore, but you could see the truth in his eyes. It would always hurt, and it had left him with deep scars.

"It took me a long time to learn that some people will hurt us, no matter what we do," he continued, reaching out to hold your hand again. "They will tell you that you are to blame, that the abuse is a consequence of your behavior, and it is not. Do not ever forget that."

You nodded, and a small smile graced your lips. His hand was warm in yours, and his touch was gentle.

"My father was treated poorly by his father, and his father before that. And the cycle continues. Broken people don't know any other way," he said.

He brushed his thumb across the back of your hand and gave you a reassuring smile.

"It takes enormous strength not to continue the cycle. To not place your pain on the shoulders of others. To recognize the harm and end it with you." He finished, his voice was low and his words were gentle.

You wiped the tears and nodded. He was right. You didn't deserve what happened to you, and you didn't have to carry that weight on your own. These were things you told yourself before, but it was hard for you to truly believe them.

"I don't know if I'm capable of that sort of strength," you said, and you sniffed.

"Oh my dear, you're already stronger than you know," he said.

You didn't feel strong, in fact you felt rather weak and small. You were tired, and broken.

He smiled, and his thumb rubbed soft circles on your wrist. "As cliche as it sounds, it truly just takes time. On the bad days you just need to remind yourself of that," he said.

You nodded, the words sinking into your soul, and you clung to the hope that they offered. You didn't realize how much you needed to hear that.

"I should have called sooner. I missed you," you said, and you smiled, your eyes meeting his.

"I missed you, too."

Your ex had manipulated you into cutting contact with most of your friends, and you didn't realize how much you relied on those connections until it was gone. But with Elijah, it felt like no time had passed at all. You were so grateful to have him back.

It had been a few weeks since you had reconnected with Elijah, and he was a constant in your life now. He would come by almost everyday and visit with you. He would bring you coffee or lunch, or simply sit and talk for hours. He would listen, and he would tell stories of his travels, and it made your heart so happy.

You always had a soft little crush on him, and having him back in your life made those feelings intensify. But dating wasn't something you were ready for, the idea of being intimate with anyone made you feel anxious. Your ex had made even sex a violent thing, and that was a wound you weren't ready to reopen.

And you didn't know if Elijah was interested. He was so caring, and thoughtful, and you wondered if he saw you as anything more than a friend.

It was raining outside, and you were heading home from your therapy session. You were trying to keep the umbrella above you, but it kept blowing inside out, and the wind and rain were making it difficult.

As you approached your door, you could see something attached to the doorknob. You pulled the item off and inspected it. It was a single rose, tied with a note.

You opened the door and headed to the kitchen, your wet coat and shoes discarded in the entryway. You wondered who the rose was from, a small part of you hoping it was Elijah.

You peeled open the note and read it, panic immediately filled your body. The rose and note had fallen out of your hands, and were scattered across the kitchen floor. 

A picture had fallen out of the note, it was an image of you and your ex, you were asleep and wearing a nightgown. The note read, "I miss nights like this. I'll be waiting."

It was him, he had found you.

Your body went numb and you immediately fled out of your apartment, not bothering to put on your shoes or coat, leaving the front door wide open.

You had done everything to hide from him, changed your job, your phone number, moved apartments.

You could feel the panic building inside of you, the walls closing in around you. The rain was cold and the wind was harsh, but you didn't notice, didn't care. All you wanted was to get away, to hide.

You just kept running until the panic made your knees give out and you collapsed in a small alcove between two buildings.

Your hands shook as you pulled out your phone, and dialed the last number you called.

"Hello?" Elijah answered.

You didn't have the words to answer him, and the sob that tore out of your throat was loud and desperate. You could barely get the words out, the fear, panic and humiliation making it nearly impossible.

"Where are you?" He asked, his voice was hard, and he sounded like he was already on the move.

"I...I'm sorry..." You choked out, tears streaming down your face.

"Turn on your location, I'll come get you," he said.

You could hear his car start, and you heard a voice in the background, likely his brother Klaus.

"Please hurry," you said, the panic making you feel sick.

"I'm on my way. Everything is going to be okay."

His voice was calm and steady in the storm of panic. You could hear the screeching of his tires as they took off.

You sat and listened to the sounds of his car, the rain pounding against the roof, the sound of his breathing. Klaus was driving, and you could hear his muffled accent in the background.

"Do not hang up, alright?" Elijah said, his voice was firm.

You nodded, though he couldn't see you, and tried to focus on his breathing, using the sound to keep yourself grounded.

"Tell me three things you see," he said softly.

"Three things?"

"Yes, anything you can see. Three things."

You looked around the little alcove, there were two benches, the ground was damp, and a little trash can.

"I...uhh.. two benches, a trash can, and a sign," you said, your voice sounded foreign and strange to you.

"Good, that's good. Now three things you hear."

"The rain, the traffic and... and you. You're still there?" You asked, your voice full of confusion.

You felt lightheaded and cold, the rain now fully soaked through your clothes.

"Of course I'm still here," he said.

You could hear the sounds of the city, and the sound of his tires as he turned a corner.

"Now three things you feel."

You felt the cold pavement beneath you, the water dripping off your hair and onto your skin, and the panic clawing at your throat.

"I feel the pavement, the water, a-and… and…," you said, your breath was starting to quicken.

"You're doing great, darling," he said softly.

Your chest felt tight, and it was getting harder to breathe. You felt like you were dying, your heart beating so fast you thought it might burst.

"I can't breathe," you whimpered, your free hand clutching your chest.

The sound of tires screeching to a halt made you flinch, and the line disconnected. You could hear footsteps pounding against the pavement, and then you felt two warm hands scooping under your arms.

"It's me, darling. You're safe," he said, and he lifted you to your feet, then he picked you up and started carrying you.

You clung to him, burying your face into his neck, breathing in his scent. He carried you over to his car, and placed you gently in the back seat. He removed his coat and wrapped it around you, then climbed in after you. His hands were running through your hair and wiping the tears off your face.

"Take a deep breath with me, darling. You're okay," he said.

His hands were resting on your waist, and he pulled you close, your chest pressing against his. He took a deep breath, and you did the same. The pressure of his body against yours helped calm you, and the sound of his heartbeat helped ground you.

"Good, just like that," he said softly, his eyes watching your face carefully.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, letting you relax into his touch. His fingers combed through your hair, and his other hand rubbed your back soothingly.

"I've got you," he whispered, his breath fanning across your cheek.

The panic slowly subsided, replaced with utter exhaustion. Your eyes grew heavy and you rested your head against his shoulder, and you closed your eyes.

"Thank you," you whispered, the sleep already claiming you.

"No need, I will always be there for you," he said.

His voice was like a promise, one you knew he would keep. He held you close, his arms a safe and warm place, and soon sleep took over.

Elijah had invited you to move into the compound for a while. You were grateful for his offer, and his family had been nothing but kind to you. All of them understood, and were supportive, and had promised to help protect you.

It had been a few weeks since your panic attack, and you were still trying to piece yourself back together. Your ex had been found, and Klaus had ensured that he would never hurt anyone ever again. But it didn't stop the fear that crept up your spine when you were alone.

You were sitting in Elijah's room, reading a book while he worked. You had taken to spending a lot of time in his company, and he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it as well.

There was soft classical music playing on the radio, and the soft yellow lights of the many candles made the room feel cozy. You glanced over at Elijah, his head was bent and he was looking over some papers.

The two of you had fallen back into the easy banter that had once defined your relationship, and you were grateful for him.

"Are you hungry? I could go get us some dinner," he said, and his voice pulled you out of the book you were reading.

You looked up at him and shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips. He looked extra good today, dressed in a simple button down and dress pants. You had noticed him looking at you quite a bit as well, and it made your stomach flip every time.

"I'm fine, thank you," you said, and you smiled at him.

You liked that he was always thinking about you, and it was sweet. But you couldn't deny the feelings that had started to develop for him, and it made the butterflies in your stomach flutter every time he looked at you. You wanted to be intimate with someone again, to feel love the way you once did. To not let all the trauma and pain define the rest of your life.

Elijah put down his pen and gave you a small smile. "You've been staring at me for the past fifteen minutes."

Your face flushed and you looked away, embarrassed at being caught. You weren't sure if you were ready to admit your feelings, or if he even felt the same.

"Sorry, I was just thinking," you said, and you looked back at him, meeting his eyes.

He had stood up and walked over to the couch you were sitting on, reaching out his hand to you.

"Come on, let's get some air," he said.

You stood up and took his hand, and he led you out of his room and to the balcony. The sky was dark and the stars were out, and you could see the moon peeking out behind the clouds.

The air was cool and the breeze was gentle, and you breathed in the fresh night air. Elijah stood next to you, his hand still holding yours, and you were glad that he didn't let go.

"Dance with me?" He asked, and his voice was soft.

You smiled and nodded, and he pulled you into his arms, the two of you swaying slowly to the music that drifted in from inside.

His gaze was intense, but gentle. And his smile was soft. He twirled you, and pulled you back in close. Your breathing slowed, and a smile grew on your face.

He was a talented dancer, and he made sure you didn't make a fool of yourself. It was an excellent distraction, and it was easy to forget about all the horrible things when you were with him.

The two of you danced until the song ended, and his hands were on your waist. You were both laughing, and his eyes were brighter than usual. You were suddenly acutely aware of how close he was.

"Thank you," you said softly, your eyes meeting his, he was looking at you with such tenderness that it made your heart race.

"I've wanted to tell you something," he began, and he reached out and brushed a piece of hair behind your ear.

"What is it?" You asked, the anticipation making your stomach do flips.

"I want you to know, I'll never let anyone hurt you. Not ever again," he said, and his words were sincere.

You smiled, and you reached up and touched his cheek. He had been your rock, and a constant source of strength and comfort.

"I know," you said, and his eyes were so full of emotion.

"I mean it," he said, and he placed his forehead against yours. "You will always be safe with me," he whispered, and his nose touched yours.

Your eyes closed and you let out a sigh. The butterflies in your stomach were fluttering wildly, and your heart was pounding in your chest.

"You've become so important to me," he said softly. "You're my best friend, and... I can't lose you again," he said.

A moment passed, and you could feel the tension building. The air around you felt charged, and you could feel his breath on your lips.

You closed the distance between the two of you, pressing your lips against his. His lips were soft and his hands were gentle. He held you close, the two of you lost in the kiss. It was passionate, and full of all the love and adoration that had grown over the last few months.

You had imagined kissing him before, and it was just as perfect as you thought it would be. You couldn't think straight, and the only thing that mattered was him.

"Is this okay?" He asked as he pulled away, and rested his forehead against yours, his eyes filled with wonder.

You were both out of breath, and a small smirk formed on his lips.

"You're really good at that," you said, and you smiled up at him.

He chuckled and gave you a crooked grin. Then he kissed you again, and his hands moved down to the small of your back, pulling you closer. You melted into him, the kiss deepening, and you felt a familiar warmth spread through your body.

"Elijah, I don't know if I'm ready to... It's been a long time since..." You stammered, the thoughts in your mind a mess, the vulnerability made your skin flush.

He gave you a long look, his hands rubbing small circles on your sides. "Then we'll go slow," he said, taking your hand and leading you back into his room. "Very, very, slow," he whispered, a glint in his eye.

You wanted him, but you were scared, and he could sense it. You needed him to take the lead, to guide you.

"We can stop anytime, just say the word," he said, his voice soft.

He stepped away and sat down on the bed, reaching his hand out to you. You took it, and he pulled you into his lap. His hands moved to your hips, and he kissed you again, slow and sweet.

Your body was responding, reawakening after being long dormant. It was a strange feeling, but a welcome one.

You began to tug at the buttons of his shirt, as his hands slid underneath your blouse, caressing your bare skin. You managed to undo most of the buttons, and pushed his shirt off his shoulders.

You had always found him attractive, but seeing him like this was something else entirely. He had a chiseled chest, and toned arms. Your fingers traced his muscles, and they twitched under your touch.

"Like what you see?" He teased, and a smug smile spread across his face.

"You don't need me to say it, do you?" You replied, a sly grin appearing on your lips.

"I could use a reminder," he said, his eyes sparkling.

You giggled, and the sound surprised you. "Fine, yes, you're attractive... really, really attractive," you said, and the smile on his face grew.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear that," he said, and his hands slid higher up your shirt, his thumbs brushing the underside of your breasts.

"Someone's a little full of themselves," you teased, your hands moving up his chest.

His mouth moved to the hollow of your throat, and he nipped at the delicate skin, eliciting a small gasp from you.

"I've heard stories," you continued, your breath catching in your throat.

"Oh yeah?" He hummed, slowly unbuttoning your blouse, kissing each inch of newly exposed skin.

"Kol's a chatty drunk," you said, and your smile turned mischievous. "He said that you're really, really, good at this sort of thing."

"Is that right?" He murmured, and his hands were now cupping your breasts, his thumbs brushing your nipples through the fabric.

"That's what I heard," you gasped, your back arching into his touch.

"It's a bit weird that he knows anything about my skills," he said, and you could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Not if the rumors are true," you replied, and you ground your hips against his.

"Well what do you think?" He teased, his lips trailing down to your breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth.

You moaned, one of his hands was pressed into your lower back, slowly moving your hips. The other was kneading your breast, his mouth sucking and licking at the sensitive bud.

"I...," you started, and you paused, trying to formulate a coherent thought. "I don't think he was wrong..." You managed.

He chuckled, and then his hand slid into your pants, his fingers finding your clit. He began to rub slow, firm circles, and a strangled moan escaped your lips.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked, and his hand slowed, the pressure making you gasp.

"Don't you dare," you groaned, and his lips returned to yours.

His mouth was hot, and his tongue was insistent. His fingers moved faster, and his other hand was holding your back, supporting you as you arched into him. Your hands were tangled in his hair, and your breath was coming in short gasps.

"That's it," he murmured, and his voice was husky.

Your eyes were closed, and the sensations were overwhelming. Your toes curled and your fingers dug into his shoulders, and you cried out as the waves of pleasure crashed over you.

He hummed in approval, his fingers still rubbing slow circles, drawing out your release. You trembled in his arms, burying your face in his shoulder.

"Wow," you said breathlessly, kissing his neck softly.

"Good, wow?" He asked, and his tone was light and playful.

"So good, wow," you said, and you giggled, the euphoria making you feel giddy.

He leaned back on to the bed, bringing you with him, making you laugh. The two of you fumbled awkwardly, giggling as you tried to move up the bed. He ended up on top of you, his elbows supporting his weight.

"It's nice to hear you laugh again," he said, and his eyes were full of adoration.

"You're a good distraction," you said, and you grinned.

"I plan on being much more than a distraction," he said, his hands running along your sides.

You smiled up at him, and he leaned down and kissed you, the passion returning. You ran your hands over his chest, your fingers tracing the hard planes of muscle.

"Tell me if it gets too much," he whispered.

You nodded, and his mouth moved down to your neck, nipping and sucking. He slowly removed the rest of your clothes, his lips never leaving your skin.

"I can't believe we are doing this," you said, undoing his belt and pants. "I didn't think... I mean I hoped, but never thought..."

He chuckled, and kicked his pants off. "I know the feeling," he said, and his eyes were twinkling.

"I'm glad you didn't give up on me," you said, and your tone was serious.

He looked at you for a long moment, his gaze searching.

"Never," he said, and he pressed his lips to yours, a hand moving down your thigh and lifting your leg over his hip.

You moaned into his mouth as you felt his cock bump against your wetness. You knew he would be gentle and loving, but there was still a hint of fear and trepidation.

"I'm going to make love to you now," he said, and his voice was soft, his eyes looking at you tenderly.

Your face turned scarlet, and a deep flush appeared on his cheeks. It was the first time you had ever seen him embarrassed. It was so charming, and it reminded you why you fell for him in the first place.

"Was that not the right thing to say?" He asked, and the nervous laugh he let out was adorable.

"No, no, it was very..." you started, but couldn't finish.

"It was very what?" He asked, the amusement back in his tone.

"Romantic," you managed, and a grin formed on your lips. "It's not something I'm used to," you said, and a pained look flashed across his face.

"He didn't treat you the way he should have," Elijah said, and his eyes were dark.

"It's okay," you said, and you cupped his cheek, giving him a soft smile. "I have you now, and that's all that matters."

His lips met yours, and his cock pressed against your entrance.

"Ready?" He asked, and his voice was husky.

You nodded, and he slowly entered you, letting out a groan. It had been so long since you had been intimate with someone, and it felt incredible. He moved his hips, setting a slow pace, gauging your response to his movements.

"I love you," he groaned, gently placing his forehead against yours.

His words and eyes were sincere, but your response caught in your throat. His movements were slow and sensual, causing you to moan into his mouth, your hips gently rocking to meet his.

"You don't have to say it back, I just want you to know," he whispered, his lips brushing yours.

A tear slid down your cheek, and he kissed it away, noticing the way you were struggling with your emotions.

"I will keep you safe, and love you for as long as you let me," he promised, his eyes glossy.

The two of you continued moving together, the emotions and sensations heightened by his words. He was gentle and loving, and the way he was looking at you made your heart swell.

You were both lost in the pleasure, and the world fell away, only the two of you left. He held you close, his body moving with yours, and the intimacy of the act made you feel complete.

"Eli-" you moaned, the words unable to leave your mouth.

"I know," he said, running his fingers through your hair and giving you a kiss that made your head spin.

Your kisses grew messy as you both got close to the edge, panting against each other. You tried to tell him how good he made you feel, how much you loved him too, but all that came out was a plea. Your face buried in the crook of his neck as your back arched, and your legs started to shake.

"You're alright," he murmured in your ear, holding you tightly as your walls clenched around him.

Your breath left you, and he gripped you as he chased his own release. He lifted you off the bed, pulling you up so you could ride him as he held you to his chest.

Your toes curled and another wave of bliss hit you, a wanton moan escaping you. Your name sounded so good rolling off his lips, and he followed you, groaning as he found his release.

You held each other, him slowly lowering you back to the bed, not daring to pull away or let you go. You were slightly dizzy and felt like you were floating, and it was the best feeling in the world.

"Damn, you're good," you breathed, and a satisfied grin formed on his lips.

He kissed your neck, his breath warm against your skin.

"I know, just ask Kol..." he joked, and a giggle escaped your lips.

"Please stop talking about Kol," you laughed, and he gave you a sheepish smile.

"You brought him up first," he said, and his smile turned crooked.

You playfully slapped his shoulder and he laughed, looking absolutely elated that he made you smile.

"I love you too," you blurted, feeling too happy and overwhelmed with emotion to wait to tell him.

His grin grew, and he rolled on his side, bringing you with him. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it over you, and you sunk into the warm embrace.

"This feels nice," you said, sighing in content.

"Yeah, it does," he replied, a smile in his voice.

You cuddled for a while, and he lazily drew circles on your skin, his touch soothing and comforting.

"You know I'm a mess right? Prone to panic attacks, have nightmares, and am constantly looking over my shoulder," you said, and the worry that he didn't understand what he was getting into was clear.

"Stop it," he said, his tone gentle, and his arms tightened around you. "You aren't allowed to put yourself down in front of me," he said, and he kissed your forehead

You nodded, and he stroked your cheek, wiping away a tear that you hadn't realized had fallen.

"It's okay to be a mess, I'm a mess too," he said with a soft laugh. "Even though I hide it well," he added.

"You're not a mess, you're perfect," you said, and his smile turned sad.

"Hardly, but I appreciate the sentiment," he replied, and he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

"We can be messes together then, how's that sound?" You asked, and the small smile he gave you made your heart skip a beat.

He kissed you, slow and sweet, and a happy sigh escaped your lips.

"Together.”