#I could be on the sofa with my parabatai and the cats watching a movie and eating pizza as we speak.

[exhaustedwerewolf]

cishet white men.

[bytheangell]

Trust Us

(Read on AO3) Square Filled: Summoning for @shadowhunterbingo Pairing: Magnus/Alec/Jace Rating: Teen and Up  – Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Tags: demon summoning, hurt/comfort, angst and feels, canon typical pain/violence (I wouldn’t exactly call it torture but it might be close)  Summary:  To save a friend in need Magnus has to make a deal with a dangerous demon. What he isn't counting on is the demon demanding something not from him, but from those closest to him instead.  -------------

Magnus has been quiet all night and he knows that Jace and Alec have both picked up on it. Magnus can see the way they share worried looks the longer he allows his gaze to zone out during dinner or the way his drink sits untouched when they move to the living room to relax on the sofa with some new action movie that Jace has been dying to get them to watch.

Jace shuts the TV off mid-scene and the sudden silence is enough to jar Magnus out of his thoughts.

“Over already?” He says hesitantly into the heavy silence of the room, aware of both pairs of eyes trained on him expectantly.

“What’s wrong?” Jace asks first, getting right to the point.

“What Jace means to say is: we noticed you’ve been in your head a lot today. Do you want to talk about it?” Alec adds, with a side-glance at his parabatai.

Magnus figures it was too much to hope that he’d be able to make it through the day without being asked.

“An old acquaintance of mine has come under a curse from some very, very dark magic,” Magnus admits. “It’s his own damn fault for poking around things that were meant to stay buried,” he adds quickly, but there’s an obvious, heavy emotion behind his tone that gives away that his annoyance at the reason is outweighed by his concern.

“I’m sorry, Magnus,” Alec says, grabbing one of Magnus’ hands in one of his own. Magnus didn’t realize until that moment that he started to play with the hem of his shirt as he spoke, looking down at his hands rather than at either Alec or Jace. He allows Alec to pull the hand away and give it a comforting squeeze. “Is there anything anyone can do?”

Magnus nods slowly. “There is, in fact, something only I can do. Because it involved summoning some equally dark power from Edom, and as Asmodus’ son I’m uniquely positioned to have that ability.”

“What are you telling us?” Jace asks. “Because you being able to help isn’t exactly a reason to sulk.”

“How dangerous is it?” Alec follows up, swallowing thickly.

Magnus looks up at both of them then with a small smile on his face, because they aren’t stupid. They know exactly why he wouldn’t be excited about having to summon dark magic from his father’s realm, and exactly how dangerous it must be for him to have not already done it to help a friend in need.

“It’s certainly not safe,” Magnus allows because he knows how they worry when he gets himself involved in projects that are occasionally over his head. “And I wouldn’t have the power needed to see it through on my own. There isn’t another warlock in their right mind who would risk tapping into Edom that way… except maybe Cat, but I’d never let her.”

There’s a heavy silence between the three of them as Magnus sighs and leans back on the sofa, eyes closed. “It’s fine. I’ll think of something.”

“What if I help? If we use the alliance rune, and you pull from my strength… do you think it’d be enough?” Alec suggests.

Magnus looks up at that, eyes wide at the offer, not quite sure what to say. “I… don’t know,” he admits.

“What if both of us help?” Jace offers. “With Alec and I already connected… if we each drew the runes do you think the three of us could all connect? With three people’s worth of activated rune abilities and three people’s worth of magic to pull from…”

Magnus shakes his head slowly. “I appreciate it, really I do, but I could never ask you to put yourselves at risk like that.”

“You didn’t,” Jace points out. “If this means that much to you, we want to help.”

“It isn’t just the energy, though - there’s no telling how dark magic like that might affect a Nephilim. And then there’s the spell itself. I have to tap into a place I haven’t in centuries,and there’s a part of me that’s afraid I won’t be able to properly control it. I don’t…” Magnus shakes his head. There’s no good way to admit that he isn’t sure he trusts himself not to give in to the sort of power he’s spent the better part of his life denying and how terrified he is for anyone to see that side of him, especially them. “I don’t want to go too far when you two might be the collateral damage,” he finishes, unable to keep the slight tremor from his voice.

“You don’t have to decide right now,” Alec tells him. “But I’m willing to take that risk. I trust you, Magnus. With my life.”

“We both do,” Jace cuts in. “I don’t think for a second you’re going to let yourself lose control. But if you do, we’ll be here to help with that, too.”

Magnus isn’t sure how he got to this point, where he can hold the trust, faith, and lives of two Nephilim in his hands without question. He isn’t even sure he trusts himself to pull off what needs to be done. Yet here are Jace and Alec, both willing to put their lives on the line to help him - and all for the sake of someone they’ve never even met.

No, that isn’t true because they aren’t doing this for Magnus’ friend. They’re doing this for Magnus because it’s important to him. It’s such a touching sentiment that he takes a moment to appreciate just how lucky he is to have not one, but two, people in his life to offer such unwavering love and support.

He wonders if it’s possible. He thinks it might be, and even if it isn’t just having one of them with magic to offer and the other simply for the strength and energy should be enough to get him to the end of the spell. But the magic itself… he was a child the last time he reached into the darker recesses of his abilities, still following Asmodeus and pulling upon the powers of his realm in Edom to bring about damage and destruction no one person should ever be capable of. He remembers the feeling of power it gave him, the almost insatiable pull, the hunger for more. It took him so long to break free of it before, and he’s terrified of calling upon it again.

Especially in the presence of Alec and Jace.

They know of his father, they know some of the things he regrets from his past, but he never told them the worst of it. He never told anyone, not willingly. Would they ever be able to look at him the same way if they knew the true depths of it?

“I’ll consider it,” Magnus says. “This isn’t a decision that can be made lightly, for any of us. So we all sleep on it, and decide in the morning with clear heads.”

“Alright, if that’s what you want,” Alec agrees easily, and Jace nods along with him.

---

The morning brings no change in the resolve of the two Nephilim, which Magnus isn’t surprised about, as much as he wishes they would change their minds.

“I don’t like the idea of it being you two,” Magnus admits.

“If you don’t think we’re strong enough-” Alec starts, but Magnus is quick to shake his head and cut that notion off right away.

“No, it isn’t that. In fact, with your Parabatai bond, I think the two of you are the best shot I’ve got at this. I just…” Magnus takes a deep breath. “I know I don’t speak of my time with my father often. But it’s because of the things he taught me, the things I did with him… they’re unspeakable. Unforgivable.”

“You were young,” Jace reminds him. “And that was so long ago. That isn’t who you are now.”

“But that’s what I’m going to become, at least, that’s the same darkness I’m going to have to channel for this. And the demon I have to summon… you might see things, or hear things, about me. And if I lose control, that’s a side of me I never wanted either of you to witness.”

“If you don’t want to do this because it’s dangerous for you, then don’t. But there’s nothing we can find out now that’ll change how we feel about you, and the person we know you are now.” Alec promises, and Magnus wants so badly to believe him.

“We aren’t going to leave you,” Jace reassures him quietly, and Magnus’ head turns sharply to look at him. “Especially not for some stuff your dad convinced you to do. How many times have you told me I’m not Valentine?” It’s always Jace that manages to cut through to the heart of things, and of course, it’s Jace who can see the fears Magnus has of being judged for his past and his family because it’s a fear they both share to some extent. “As card-holding members of the ‘raised by a shitty, evil, manipulative dad club’ we have to stick together, alright?”

Magnus actually laughs at that, and the break in the tension allows him a moment to really consider their promises and reassurances.

“Okay,” Magnus says with slowly growing resolve. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

---

It takes him two entire days to gather what he needs to summon the particular demon he requires, which works out because Alec and Jace need time to arrange for their patrols to be covered at the Institute for a day or two following the spell. Magnus has no idea how much this is going to take out of them, and that’s if all goes well. He doesn’t want to think about what he’ll do if something goes wrong, though Catarina’s already warned and on stand-by to check in on them shortly just in case.

Magnus takes Alec’s stele and draws one half of the Alliance rune onto his hand before Alec takes it back and draws the other on Magnus. Magnus then repeats the action with Jace’s stele on his hand, waiting until Jace finishes his before turning to the two Parabatai.

“...did it work?”

They both raise their hands up in front of them to see sparks of blue dancing across their fingertips. This isn’t the first time they’ve used the Alliance rune, but the previous ones were all one-on-one. The moment both of them tap into their temporarily acquired magic Magnus can feel it resonate with the magic around them, the wards of the Loft and the magic buzzing under his own skin. He can feel the connection, stronger than before, that only ramps up when Alec and Jace begin activating their runes.

It sends a shiver down Magnus’ spine at the surge of pure power he feels just from this step. So many senses heightened, it’s almost too much, but at the same time he fears it may not be enough in the end. It’s only a matter of time now until he finds out.

“Last chance to change your minds. I won’t blame you if you do,” Magnus offers, looking between Alec and Jace, half-hoping one of them will come to their senses and back out. They both shake their heads before he can even finish speaking.

“You got this,” Jace tells him.

“And we got you,” Alec adds.

Magnus prays that they’re right on both counts.

“Alright. If it’s too much for you, or if something goes wrong-” he doesn’t specifically say ‘if I lose control’ but it’s a concern he’s voiced often enough that he doesn’t have to at this point. “-one of you has to knock me out. It’ll end the spell and send the demon back whether I got what I need or not, but only if one of you is in danger. If I’m the only one in pain - you have to let it finish. Understand?”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Jace immediately questions.

“It means,” Magnus says with a small wince, because there’s a reason he didn’t bring this up sooner. “That this demon feeds on pain. Physical pain, painful memories… whatever he asks of me is going to hurt. But I can endure it…you have to let me. Promise me you’ll let me see this through.” He waits for them both to nod again, much more reluctantly this time, before nodding himself. Jace is on his right and Alec is on his left, each of them grabs a hand as he holds them out before taking each other’s.

The power that flows through them in that moment is some of the strongest Magnus has ever felt, even when connected with other warlocks. He uses his control of the magic to slow it down and spread it out so that it doesn’t overwhelm any single one of them until he needs to call upon it fully.

The Enochian flows steadily from his lips, summoning a swirling portal so black it looks infinite in front of them. The magic around Magnus’ hands turns a deep purple and his golden cat eyes go entirely black.

The temperature in the room around them plummets, but Magnus’ body grows so warm he can feel sweat droplets forming at his temples. The demon that emerges slowly and carefully from the portal is more of a shifting mass than a solid figure, and when it speaks its voice seems to come from everywhere and nowhere at once.

“Asmodeus’ son,” the demon drawls. “How many centuries has it been since you banished me from this realm?”

“Not nearly enough,” Magnus says through gritted teeth, his hold on Alec and Jace’s hands tightening. He forgot how strong the demon is, how much effort simply containing him entails, but with the power surging through him at that moment Magnus knows that he could level entire cities with the snap of a finger. He wants to, but he fights the impulse down and focuses on the task at hand, grounding that power inward instead to bind the demon. “I didn’t summon you to catch up.” Magnus closes his eyes again, re-focusing. “I, Magnus Bane, son of Asmodeus, have summoned you to make a deal. I need your tears. Three of them, to be precise.”

“And what do I get in return? Sent back into the darkness for the rest of my days?” The demon scoffs.

“You get whatever you want from me,” Magnus says, feeling much less confident than his words let on. “It’s been many years, there’s plenty of new pain for the taking.”

The demon considers this. “And what if what I want isn’t from you?”

Magnus’ heart skips a beat, his breath catching in his chest. “No. I summoned you, I made the request, the deal is bound to me and me alone.”

“But you aren’t alone, are you? You are you… and you are two others as well. You are three connected.”

“No,” Magnus repeats again, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“Magnus…” Alec starts to say, but Magnus cuts him off.

“I said no,” Magnus insists, this time louder and more forceful.

“Then we do not have a deal,” the demon says, its tone so casual it sounds almost bored. “It was nice seeing you again.”

“Wait!” Jace shouts, voice raised to make sure he’s heard. The portal in between them sounds like a rush of air, just enough to dim and distort a normal speaking voice in the space between them. “If I give you what you want, Magnus gets the tears. Right?”

“Not just you,” the demon says. “Both.” It has no definitive face or eyes but there is no doubt who it’s words are directed at when it says ‘both’.

“Jace, stop it. This isn’t-” Magnus starts.

“I accept,” Alec says over him. It’s all going wrong so quickly, and not in any of the ways he anticipated or prepared for. They were only meant to give him enough extra power, to lend him their strength… this isn’t supposed to be their sacrifice to make.

“As do I,” Jace confirms.

“Oh, lovely!” the demon exclaims, clearly elated. From its figure two black tendrils emerge and extend, reaching out to Alec and Jace, and Magnus is helpless to do anything but stand and watch as they pierce through their chests.

The screams are immediate.

Magnus does his best to pull the pain to himself through their bond but he can’t possibly siphon enough of it fast enough. He already holds so much of the demonic power within him that there’s barely room for anything else- but he isn’t sure what allowing the power he pulled for himself from Edom would do to Alec and Jace if he lets go of it now.

“The pain of parabatai is such a gift,” the demon continues. “It’s doubled, both feeling their own pain at the same time as they feel the other’s, entirely unable to control it bleeding through the bond.”

“Stop,” Magnus begs, feeling his own eyes sting with tears at the sight of tears trailing down Alec’s face next to him, while Jace bites down on his lip to keep from crying out so hard it begins to bleed down his chin. They’re both shaking, breath coming in desperate gasps, but their grip on his hands remains solid, refusing to let go. Around them glass begins to shatter, furniture raising off of the floor, smashing into walls and swirling in a destructive circle around them. It’s too much. The outlet was supposed to be what the demon drew from him, meant to be overloaded enough that he wouldn’t be bled completely dry by the end of the exchange. Instead he’s overwhelmed by it, this destructive force barely contained within him.

The two people he loves the most, instead of being there to ground him and pull him back from the edge, fall to their knees in obvious agony.

“The tall one is trying so hard to block it. He clearly has practice hiding what he feels,” the demon muses, ignoring the chaos around them entirely. “But this one,” he continues, shifting toward Jace. “This one keeps trying to pull it to him, to shoulder the burden. I can tell that you’re both used to intentional pain, aren’t you?” It’s an observation, not a question. Not that either of them could answer in their current states anyway. “That’s good. Perhaps you’ll both survive this, then.”

“No!” Magnus shouts, trying to pull his hands away, to conjure up magic to send the demon back, but Alec and Jace both pull back against his grip. The floor beneath them begins to shake. Magnus’ magic lashes out, tearing down curtains and destroying anything and everything in its path. “You’ve never killed before, why start now?”

“Trust us,” Alec grits out, before the words cut off to another anguished scream over what the demon is doing to them.

“I would’ve thought you knew better, Magnus Bane, than to place your heart in the hands of such fragile things.” The moment the words are spoken into the room both Alec and Jace collapse fully to the floor, motionless, their hands finally slipping from Magnus’ grasp.

Magnus’ magic lashes out in every direction, blowing out the windows, putting holes through walls, and sending a ripple so powerful it knocks out the power in half the city. Alec and Jace were his reason to hold on, his reason to be better, and without them to ground him he loses himself in his anguish entirely. They expected more of him and he failed them.

Soon he, too, falls to his knees. The world is still crumbling down around him, an outward reflection of the guilt and rage which threaten to overwhelm him. Except for all the power he currently wields he doesn’t even try to defend himself as the demon’s tendrils pull out of Alec and Jace and reach for him instead. If he’s the reason for their deaths then perhaps he deserves the same fate.

Magnus closes his eyes and welcomes the death he imagines will follow- at least it would end the pain he feels at the sight in front of him. He’s not sure if he can even qualify the amount of heartache he feels when it’s more like his heart’s been ripped out of his body entirely. His magic doesn’t stop, but it slows, as his anger gives way to grief and guilt. It’s his fault. They were only here for him, if he hadn’t accepted their offer, if he put a stop to the spell the moment the demon refused his offer… if, if, if.

Magnus is certain what he feels in this moment is worse than any pain he’s ever felt before, and-

-oh. Of course. The worst pain he’s ever felt.

“I’ve never known you to take a life before,” Magnus says warily as the tendrils pull back.

“And you never will,” the demon says, just as Alec and Jace both gasp for air at once. “That may be the strongest pain I’ve ever fed on. You truly love them, don’t you?”

He sounds so pleased with himself that Magnus almost banishes him to limbo without a second thought, except a moment later a vial of liquid appears in front of him. Magnus is quick to grab it, holding it carefully in his hands.

“When will you learn that love is often the greatest source of pain and your love for others your greatest weakness?” The demon ‘tsks’.

It reminds him of what Jace once repeated to him, ‘to love is to destroy’, a sentiment Magnus refuses to give any credence to.

“Never, probably, because I don’t believe that. They aren’t the ‘weak, fragile’ beings you believe them to be, and I’m stronger for having them here.” Magnus looks between them, watching the slow but steady rise and fall of their chests, taking comfort in the motion before slipping seamlessly back into the demonic tongue to close the portal and send the demon back to Edom, severing the connection.

The moment the demon is gone Magnus collapses properly to the ground beside Alec and Jace. Which is how Catarina finds them several minutes later when she arrives as scheduled to check on them and ensure nothing went wrong.

“Magnus,” she gasps, moving towards him instinctively, but Magnus only shakes his head and waves her off. “I’ll be fine. Tend to them first. Please.”

Catarina gets both of the boys into bed where she uses a mixture of potions and magic to counter any lingering toxins from the demon’s tendrils, as well as any physical pain. They’re both fading in and out of consciousness too much to get a proper read on, but she does her best, and leaves Magnus with some extra just in case. Magnus, meanwhile, uses the lingering connection of the Alliance rune to activate their iratzes once or twice to speed up the process.

Magnus barely has the energy to remain conscious but he stubbornly refuses to rest, sitting vigil beside the bed while they sleep, watching over them and waiting.

Jace wakes up first. “‘M sorry,” he mumbles after opening his eyes to see the concern on Magnus’ face.

“You’re-” Magnus starts, and huffs out a noise that isn’t quite a laugh. “You know what, you should be sorry. You never should’ve done that.”

“Is Alec-” Jace starts suddenly trying to sit up, but only making himself dizzy with the sudden action before falling back onto the pillow and turning his head over instead.

“He’s still asleep, but he should be fine. How are you feeling? Are you still in pain? Cat left an extra healing potion behind just in case,” Magnus says, moving so that he’s sitting on the side of the bed, close enough to brush the stray strands of hair from where they fell over Jace’s eyes in his attempt to move.

“I’ve had worse,” Jace manages to say and Magnus can only shake his head while continuing the comforting, repetitive motion of running his fingers through Jace’s hair.

“Of course you have. How dare I forget how stoic and tough my foolish, stubborn Shadowhunters are.”

There’s shifting from the other side of the bed and a mumble of “But that’s why you love us...” from Alec. Magnus isn’t sure how long he’s been awake, his eyes still closed even now, but the relief he feels at hearing both of their voices again is overwhelming.

Magnus very carefully crawls into the space between them in the bed, leaning over Jace first and then Alec, to give them each a gentle kiss full of relief and gratitude and love before settling between them and pulling them into him on either side. They kiss back, leaning into his touches and his pulls, not shying away after what they saw and went through for him. He doesn’t know what he expects, but he’s glad.

He needs this now as much as they do, the comforting touch, the reminder that they know exactly who (and what) he is and care for him just the same. He has them - and they have him - no matter what trial or personal tribulation stands in their way or tries to test that. And the more they show him time and time again, the more he allows himself to trust that the strength of their love will overpower the rest every single time.