#I continue to remind everyone how powerful Alastor really is

[usedtobethelegendcreator]

I feel like too many people use the “it’s only partially canon” excuse when it comes to the pilot, and I’m taking up a crusade about it.

First of all, the part of the pilot that’s “partially canon” is the characterization. Just in case someone doesn’t know what that is, characterization is how a character acts, feels, etc. For example, in the pilot, Alastor is much more energetic and cheerful than he is in the show. And in the pilot, unfortunately…Vaggie is not beating the Angry Latina stereotype. Like, she pointed a spear at Niffty, who is three feet tall, for picking up Charlie. Niffty.

On the other hand, the events of the pilot—those are canon. Alastor shows up and summons Husk and Niffty. Sir Pentious attacks the hotel. Vaggie monologues about Alastor. You get the point. “I attacked you literally last week,” Sir Pentious said in the second episode.

And it feels like the aforementioned excuse is usually used specifically for Vaggie’s monologue, even though it was all backed up by Mimzy in “Dad Beat Dad”. And, in particular, the “That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before” and the “Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world’s most ancient and destructive evils” bits. I don’t know what some people have against the concept of Alastor not being a weak Overlord, when the list of his shown powers on the Wiki is longer than some characters’ entire page. Even Vivzie stated she doesn’t know the full extent of his capabilities.

Also, everyone talks about “who could have him on a leash” when it comes to his bit in the finale. Alastor literally says, and I quote, “Once I figure out how to unclip my wings…” which implies he’s still not at full power.

Still not at full power.

This guy took a direct hit from fucking Adam, survived, is healthy enough to have a solo, and he’s still not at full power.

Just accept that this guy is a cryptid and move on. And even if the powers beyond mortal ken aren’t enough, he can still just fucking eat his enemies. Chomp chomp, bitch.

[theamberfist]

I'm a Grandpa! | Dad Alastor Headcannons

Familial! Alastor is Reader's Adopted Dad from life

Description: When you, Alastor's adopted child, end up in hell, he's surprised to find that you took in a kid of your own sometime after his death, making him a (not so enthusiastic) grandpa.

(Notes: CW Alastor, mentions of murder, death, violence) (gender neutral reader) (Reader is Alastor's adopted child) (Reader is an adult) (Reader has an adopted son in this)

Words: 1,249

♡ Alastor died before you did. You had been a young adult at the time, but you were still left pretty much on your own in the world after that

♡ Being the adopted kid of a now-known serial killer tended to be very isolating, so you moved to a new place and took on a new name and identity in order to avoid the negative effects of what your dad had done

♡ Being his child, Alastor had always loved you very much and you really looked up to him. While you'd never been a killer or committed any serious crimes, you liked to believe he'd had good reason for what he'd done, and so you'd continued looking up to him despite it all after his murders came to light

♡ Which is why, when one of the kids you were in charge of looking after at the daycare you worked at turned out to be in a bad home situation, you stepped up

♡ Alastor had adopted you at a very young age from a similar situation and you cared deeply about this child so you ended up taking them in yourself and becoming a parent that day

♡ Your kid was an absolute terror. Alastor had always said you reminded him so much of his mom with your sweet and calm nature, so you supposed it was only natural for your own son to remind you so much of his grandpa with his dramatic antics and slightly violent tendencies

♡ Luckily, you were very good at having the kid's behavior under control and he always listened to you. It was everyone else that needed to worry when he was around

♡ You always hoped that, wherever your dad had ended up after his death, he would have been proud of you for following in his footsteps like this and that he would have loved his grandson if he could have met him

♡ So when you and your son both died in a horrific accident and ended up in hell, one of the first things you did was go looking for your dad so the whole family could be together

♡ Alastor found you long before you would have found him and he happily reunited with you, his child, after so long

♡ Appeared out of nowhere, hugged you, began talking about how much he'd missed you and how good it was to see you again, only to then notice the little boy standing behind you and growling like a feral cat

♡ Assuming the kid had been planning to attack you, Alastor started using his powers to get rid of your son, who immediately fought back like the little animal he was, but you put a stop to it all before anyone could get hurt, shouting for both of them to cut it out

♡ They both froze and you took a deep breath before picking up your son and turning back to your dad, explaining that you'd adopted a child while alive and introducing them as grandfather and grandson

♡ Neither of them were happy about that reveal but since you seemed so excited about the family reunion, they both hid their disdain behind fake smiles

♡ "I see..." Alastor said as he wiped his hand on his suit after shaking your son's hand, "then I suppose it is a pleasure to meet you...Child."

♡ Your son barred his teeth at your dad and that became the start of a deep dislike between them

♡ After that, the three of you all moved into a home together within hell. Alastor had insisted on you living with him again, especially now that you 'had a charge of your own to support' and claimed he simply wanted the chance to spend more time with his child and new grandchild

♡ Yeah, right

♡ Alastor and your son are both very good at acting like they get along while in your presence, but the second your back is turned, they're at one another's throats

♡ He would never actually harm your kid because he knows you would kill him if he did. However, that doesn't mean he won't 'defend himself' if your son attacks him so he takes it upon himself to provoke the child as much as possible and is quite good at it

♡ Several times, you've left Alastor in charge of watching your son while you went out, only to come home to the house nearly on fire. When you find them, they act like they just got carried away baking some treats but it's not hard to tell that that's a lie

♡ You routinely remind them both of how much you want them to get along and they both always claim that they do but it's a complete lie

♡ For how much Alastor loves and adores you, his own kid, he finds that he probably hates your son just as much

♡ You mentioned it to Rosie once when the three of you came to visit her in Cannibal Town and she said it's probably because the two of them are just too similar. Your son, in many ways, is like a younger version of Alastor and that's probably what gets on his nerves so much. That, and the fact that he feels his grandchild takes up way too much of your time and attention

♡ It's not until the two of them gain a common enemy that they finally find a way to be civil

♡ You had never dated much in life, either because of your slightly overbearing father or, later, your slightly overbearing son. Maybe you were never interested in it anyway

♡ But now that you're in hell, you end up finding someone you like enough to make your partner (whether romantic, queerplatonic, or anything else) and then that person starts taking your time away from both of them

♡ Common Enemy: Unlocked

♡ Now Alastor and your son find that they both hate your partner and want them gone so they reluctantly begin working together to subtly get rid of/scare them off

♡ Whenever your partner is over, they'll split up so that one of them makes an excuse to spend time with you while the other goes to your partner. One makes sure to keep you distracted while the other promptly terrorizes your partner in ways no one will believe them if they tell

♡ This goes on for a while, and eventually, between their shared chaotic natures, it works and your partner breaks things off with you

♡ And guess who's there to support you as you mourn the loss of the relationship? Your two favorite men who definitely didn’t plan this at all

♡ Cue them both in a group hug with you but behind your back they exchange glances with one another and Alastor nods approvingly

♡ Even though he still doesn’t really like your kid and feels like he has to compete with him for your time, the kid’s earned his approval today

♡ And who knows? Maybe if your son cares almost as much (he could never beat your dad as far as how much he loves you) as him, maybe there will be more times in the future in which the two of them work together to ‘protect’ you

♡ Either way, your son is safe from the anger of his grandpa, at least for now, and vice versa

……….

One shot based on this

[blitzor0de0]

That Saint Peter fic was so cute! Like really, REALLY cute! Maybe you should consider continuing it? With Reader being redeemed and going to heaven? Maybe they die like Sir Pentious when fighting against Adam and spawn in heaven?

this one kinda flopped in my mind, but I hope it's bearable to read !! enjoy!

cw: gn reader, spoilers of episode 8, a little gore to the reader (reader death),,, uhhh lmk if there's something I missed, not proof-read at ALLL!!

word count: 1.8k

part 1 part 3 part 4

Daylight (Saint Peter x Redeemed!Reader)

The final battle was upon you, flurries of executioners surrounded the hotel. But thankfully due to Alastor’s shield, you alongside your fellow residents were able to kill them, one after one after one.

Your heart was racing, adrenaline pumping through your veins, the stench of the angel’s golden ichor singed your nostrils.

But before you knew it, Sir Pentious had sacrificed himself, immediately being blown to smithereens by Adam’s power. You couldn't stand to watch it, your weaknesses bubbling up as you choked back a sob.. The remaining Egg Boiz, would they be okay? Were they okay? You snuck off to see if any reminder of Sir Pentious was still around, allowing a few stray tears to fall.

Unbeknownst to you, alongside everyone else at the battle site, there was one stray angel, grasping onto their last moments of life, as you called out for the Egg Boiz, you found none of them, cracked eggshells seemed to be everywhere you looked. It grew harder to swallow, there had to be at least one..Right?

Dashing through some rubble your search was about to continue but you felt a sharp pain. You froze in place, looking down, breathing stuttering. Piercing your chest was one of the angel's tridents…Straight through the heart.

“What…?” You weakly spoke, turning with whatever energy you had left to face the angel, a dark smile on their face before they succumbed to their injuries.

It didn't take long for you to fall to your knees, gasping for whatever breath you could find. Your mind was in a panic. This couldn't be it. You can't die alone, you never even got to tell Charlie or the others goodbye.

Silent tears streamed down your cheeks. At least you tried your best. Right?

People in life always lied when they said death was painless, your first one sure as Hell wasn't, and neither was this one. You guess it's just their way of dwelling the fear of inevitable death, if only they knew.

A warm heat overtook your senses as brightness enveloped your vision.

What?

Looking around you saw the two Serafim you met a few months back and…Sir Pentious?

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit it worked!

Redemption worked! Charlie's a fucking genius.

Sir Pentious called your name in surprise, “You're here too? Oh no, that must mean.. Did Adam get you too?”

“I.. Pentious..” You were utterly speechless, but so were Sera and Emily. Not one but two sinners redeemed in such a small period of time. Perhaps they really did underestimate Charlie’s ability to fulfil her dream.

After relaying what happened to you after Pentious died, the Serafim discussed how to assimilate to your new lives, Emily in particular helped the two of you get situated.

And within enough time, you were ready to start your second afterlife.

It took you a few days to get yourself situated, too busy dwelling and moping about, lost in thought about your old life. You wondered how long it took everyone down in Hell to notice you had died, if they even felt sad, or even remorse. But you couldn't live in this rut for the rest of your afterlife, you were in Heaven now, everything screamed optimism and positivity. You had to get out there and mingle, make new friends. With a huff, you made yourself presentable before leaving your new home.

Wandering the streets, you heard whispers,

“Has anyone seen Adam recently?”

“No seriously, it's been a little too quiet around here.”

“Forget him, did you see how battered up Lute was? Missing an arm and everything!”

Well that was certainly interesting information, it filled you with a sense of pride. Charlie must've won! Adam had to be dead, but Lute survived? Probably at the hands of Vaggie, you thought.

Before you knew it, you were somewhere familiar, the plaza. Not only that, the ice cream parlour you went to with Saint Peter was just across the street.

Your eyes widened. Wait.. Saint Peter! You hadn't seen him yet since your arrival, a fault on your behalf but still, you had to find him. Would he be pissed that you were here, or happy?

Approaching some friendly looking angels you asked, “Excuse me! Have you seen Saint Peter around?” Voice wavering in anxiousness.

“Hmm? Oh Peter? Oh about this time he should still be at his post but should be taking a break in liiiike five mins or something so if you wanna wait for him by the gates, go ahead!” One angel replied, grinning.

“Thank you so much!” You quickly turned on your heel, heading in the direction of the gates, hearing a small comment from the other angel,

“I woulda thought they would've been looking for a loved one, not Peter of all people. Weird. OW! Hey, I'm just saying!!”

That angel was correct, by the time you made it to the gates -a little out of breath from the speed you were walking- Peter was heading inside for his break.

He was humming to himself but halted as he set eyes upon your new form.

He called out your name, “What.. What are you doing here? If you were visiting you should've come through the gates like you did last time. Besides what's with this new outfit? Looks gorgeous on you, but it looks as though you're cosplaying an angel!....Ooohhh” The realisation of the situation just slapped him in the face. Hard.

Approaching you and holding your face in his hands, he took a real good look at you, causing a blush to spread across your cheeks from the sudden contact.

“Haha.. Hi Peter. Um, guess it happened I got redeemed..? All it took was me dying..again.”

He releases his grasp on your face, eyebrow quirked. You pouted from the loss of contact before meeting his concerned gaze. “But!! It's nothing to worry about! Haha.. Just.. A surprise attack from an exterminator. I guess all that hard work in the hotel came in handy, huh?”

Peter's look of concern refused to falter throughout your explanation, his eyebrows furrowed, almost as if he was lost in thought.

“Y’know, once you left last time there were all sorts of rumours about exterminations and Adam being heavily involved. I refused to believe they were true, why would my fellow angels do such a thing but… I suppose it was true all along. Oh, dear I'm so sorry..” His peppy attitude seemed to completely fade as he spoke, you felt guilty for even unloading it at him, seeing the angel upset made your heart pang.

“But,” He continued, a hand coming up to caress your cheek, “at least that redemption worked, I knew I could believe in you. I'm so proud!” You leaned into his touch, who knows how long it had been since you were treated as if you were a porcelain doll, so fragile, so tender.

“Thank you.. Really. I think your belief in me when we first met really helped.. In fact, the thought of you brought me great guidance in rough times, but that's embarrassing to admit..” You nervously laughed. The stars in Peter's eyes as you spoke didn't go unnoticed.

You had gathered from your initial meeting that Peter wasn't typically the one to be on the receiving end of attention, let alone compliments. After all, you were the first being to have asked his name at the gates.

“Also,” You continued, “It probably looks pretty strange to others just seeing us chat just outside your post, c’mon, let's go get some ice cream like last time, my treat this time okay?” With that you took his hand and started heading back towards the plaza.

Peter stared at where your hands connected, uncharacteristically quiet.

Truth was, ever since your meeting, he had hoped and wished for you to show up at the gate again, for another meeting, being redeemed or even just to see him. Logistically, he knew it was impossible for that last option, you didn't have the ability to open the portals between the two worlds, but a part of him hoped that you would just appear before him one day.

And you finally did, despite his earlier ramblings, Peter felt almost shell shocked, he dreamt of the two of you meeting again, but now it was finally happening, all rational thinking had left his mind.

After you had left the ice cream parlour to go to the Serafim meeting, some angels approached Peter with demeaning questions.

'Why were you being so friendly to a sinner? You know they're down in Hell for a reason.'

'They were probably feeding you lies and sob stories weren't they?'

'Don't let them get to you, Saint Peter, we can't have you falling.'

But falling he did, not in the sense of turning to a life of sin, how could he ever? Without your knowledge, you had the Keeper of the Key wrapped around your finger.

Before he even realised, the two of you had made it to the parlour, feeling a small sense of déjà vu.

The two of you ordered and took your seats, everything seemed to be identical to your first meeting, and your conversations were as fluid as thought, almost as if the two had known one another for your entire existence(s).

What you found was that Saint Peter’s life seemed rather monotonous, yet he still managed to keep such a peppy attitude, guess that's how he became an angel in the first place, a lust for life.

Saint Peter’s break came and went in the blink of an eye. It almost disappointed you when he spoke about heading back to work. Did this moment ever have to end? You wondered to yourself.

Being the kindred spirit you were, you walked him back to the gates, fingertips occasionally brushing one another, but it didn't feel awkward. No, in fact it felt natural, as if there was some sort of invisible string pulling the two of you together.

“Do you have to go?” You spoke softly once the two of you reached the gates.

“You know I have to, besides, it's not like it's our presumed last meeting like last time, right?” He chuckled.

“Yeah.. I suppose so, we could see each other every day if we so wanted.” You smiled, not noticing the gap between the two of you closing.

Tentatively, he pressed his lips to yours. You could feel your heart flutter, it felt like one of those romantic kisses in a fairytale despite only lasting a few seconds. The kiss was filled with the warmth of a thousand suns embracing you in a tender hug.

"Peter.." You gasped out, face growing red as he pulled away.

"That wasn't too much was it? Ahhh sorry!" He panicked, but before he could sputter any more apologies, you pressed your lips to his, a chaste one, just to quiet him down.

“I'll see you once your shift is finished, okay?”

Peter’s mind was spinning, he could only nod pathetically, causing you to giggle. If his pupils could turn to hearts they would.

You turned on your heel, waving a little goodbye to him. “See you soon, Peter!”

“See you…”

Needless to say, Saint Peter’s mind was quite occupied for the rest of the day, causing many frustrations amongst the newcomers.

[ranma0]

Hope for the best, expect the worst

a quick Charlie & Alastor friendship snippet

“Your Vaggie decided that I was a threat the moment she met me” Alastor continued, scraping dried blood from his fingertips as he spoke. “I could lay down my life for you all and she’d stand over my grave still questioning my motives”

He was right. Charlie knew her girlfriend’s trust was hard to win, but typically it could be won. In Alastor’s case she’d formed an opinion on him the moment they met, and that opinion had seemingly been irreparably solidified as soon as Alastor and Charlie had made their deal. There was no amount of trust falls or sharing circles that could fix that. 

But it stung. Alastor was her friend despite his quirks, and he had already given her and her hotel so much. Charlie wasn’t stupid, she knew that the Radio Demon had ulterior motives, but this was hell. Everyone had ulterior motives, and she had grown up there immersed in that culture. Vaggie hadn’t. 

Heaven seemed like the sort of place where you could assume that most people’s intentions were pure. Not for the first time Charlie wondered how she hadn’t realized that Vaggie was an angel before it had been explicitly spelled out for her. Her girlfriend was too offended by the backstabbing and lying of the Pride ring to really pass for a local.

In a perfect world Charlie would have quite liked to assume benevolence from everyone she met — Charlie liked people, she was a people person! — but even she wasn’t that naive, Charlie knew just as well as anyone in hell that the world they lived in wasn’t perfect. Moreso she knew that it wasn’t supposed to be perfect. She’d learned to hope for the best while doing her best to expect the worst. 

Vaggie’s perspective was quite different, heaven seemed the kind of place where imperfections were hidden if not outright denied. Unlike hell, heaven was intended to be perfect, and while it clearly wasn't, the Extermination trial had proved to Charlie that the residents of heaven were uncomfortable with any threat to their perceived perfection. The assumption of innate righteousness could lead to the justification of some truly spectacular cruelties. 

Alastor was clearly far from righteous, and he never tried to justify his actions beyond an explanation of base desires and needs. Unfortunately Vaggie didn’t consider Because I wanted to or I was hungry and they were annoying as reasonable causes to slaughter and devour.

The conflict between her girlfriend and business partner troubled Charlie for a lot of reasons, but one that regularly stuck in her mind was that in a lot of ways Charlie and Alastor were similar. They were both cheerful and ambitious, they could both be charming when they needed to be, they were both perfectly at home in hell, had a tendency to be insensitive, and they were both immensely powerful in comparison to the other residents of the hotel. In another world Charlie could imagine herself as even more like him, driven to the point of ruthlessness, embittered by the circumstances she found herself in. Sometimes he reminded her of her mother. 

And even despite his flaws Alastor was cheerful, and extremely helpful. Charlie felt steadier with him at her back. She had missed him when he had disappeared after the battle with heaven, and was immensely relieved when he had returned. 

Even now as she watched him flick chips of dried blood from his person she felt a sense of fondness.

“I can’t imagine that you really care if Vaggie likes you or not.” Charlie mused, unusually flippant as she picked up pieces of broken glass. Their new wall had just suffered its third unceremonious puncture since the hotel had been rebuilt, and Charlie was beginning to wonder whether they should look into reinforcing it somehow. It seemed that attacks always arrived from the south. 

“You’re right.” Alastor responded, agreeable as ever, “I don’t care.”

Straightening his coat, he made to stride away, most likely back to his room or the radio tower to do whatever it was he did when no one but his shadow was watching.

“Well I do.” Charlie called after him, as earnest as ever and perhaps as naive as everyone always told her she was. Alastor stilled, turning back to glance at her. His face betrayed nothing but his voice was soft as he said.

“And I thank you for that” 

And with that he vanished into the shadows, impenetrable as ever. Charlie took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and headed towards the supply closet to find a broom

[ambertrulife]

One on one - Radioapple platonic relation - Hazbon Hotel AU

Hello ! Just a little story I put right here ! I really like there rivality and I just want to write something I like to see in the season 2 ! Hope you will enjoy that story like I enjoyed writting it !

Oh, and I'm sorry for the quality of the writting : english isn't my frist langage and I used deepl for translate it !

______________________________________________________________

Lucifer took a sip of his drink, a nice Bloody Marie cocktail, as he felt his mind evaporate in the meanders of alcohol.

It was a quiet evening at the Hazbin Hotel. The rebuilding was over and everyone was tired from a hard day's work. His daughter and her partner had gone to bed, Angel Dust, Cherrie and Husk were walking around town to rest and Nifty was somewhere in the hotel, doing a few things, surely. He didn't want to know where the bellboy was.

He sat at the new bar, which fitted in much better than the old one with the hotel's overall decor. Husk had offered to stay and make him some drinks, but Lucifer had declined: he knew how to make his own cocktails, and he wanted to be alone.

The last few months had been rather trying. He could even say the last few years. Ever since Lilith had left. She'd gone, without a word, like a leaf blowing away on the wind, leaving him alone, drowning in the ocean of his sadness. He raised his left hand before his eyes and looked at the ring, his ring, the only physical reminder of this woman's presence in his life. How he missed her.

He took off his top hat and ran a hand through his hair to remind himself of his priority: Charlie. He owed it to himself to be there for her, more than he had ever been in his entire life. After all, she was carrying on her mother's dream. His dream, in fact. Their dream. Which had manifested itself to them so long ago.

"Where are you, Lilith?" he sighed, as those brows furrowed, a distressed expression on his features.

"A question many are asking, indeed." replied a derailed voice, with radio effect.

Lucifer's face immediately closed in frustration and anger. Next to him, he looked at the man dressed in red who had just taken his seat. The stag man was seated in a distinguished manner on the small bar stool. He wasn't wearing his trademark jacket, just his suit and bow tie. The microphone he always kept with him stood in his hand, like a trophy he was proud to display. His toothy grin and reddish eyes threatened him far more than his relaxed stance seemed to. However, Lucifer noticed a slightly wispy look and a slight trace of redness on his grayish skin. He easily guessed that he wasn't the only one who had tasted alcohol this evening.

"Oh, great." tossed in the King of Hell with a tone supporting his sarcasm "The bellboy's here. What's the matter, I'm past curfew and you have to tell me to leave?"

"Ah ah!" laughed Alastor humorlessly "As hotel manager, I'll be in a good position to ask you out."

"I built this place, asshole," Lucifer growled.

"That doesn't mean you have any rights over it," Alastor replied, stroking his microphone. "You remain nothing more than a resident. Here, being King means nothing. You're only here because Charlie wants you here."

Sometimes Lucifer thought he was far too patient with sinners. Alastor knew that he could destroy him with the snap of a finger, that he had the power to torture him for thousands of years? The fact that he felt no fear towards him was either due to madness, or to the fact that the bastard knew he'd do nothing as long as he was under his daughter's protection. Or it was a question of ego. He knew better. He took a sip of his drink, hoping to annoy the sinner into leaving. He hadn't known him long, but he knew this strategy wasn't going to work.

"Back to the original subject" continued Alastor, as he conjured up a glass of whisky, it would seem "Lilith ... She was quite a woman, all the same. She had the shoulders of a leader! She knew how to rally the troops!"

The spike stuck in Lucifer's heart, but he decided to ignore it: even if he knew it wasn't going anywhere, he might as well try his original technique.

"It's strange, really, this disappearance," continued the sinner, his gaze resting on the liquid inside his glass. "I always thought you knew where she was, that she was hiding in that huge tower you call home. It would seem that's not the case."

He took a sip of whisky before saying:

"Maybe she's dead by now?"

"She's not dead," Lucifer growled menacingly.

Alastor gave him a puzzled look, a glint of defiance in his eyes.

"How can you tell?" he questioned.

"She's not like you," Lucifer spat. "If she were dead, I would know. Creation itself would know."

"She remains nothing less than a human soul," said Alastor with a shrug. "Nothing more than a sinner like the rest of us."

Lucifer cast a blazing glance at the sinner, clearly a warning not to go any further.

"If you think about it," Alastor insisted, his eyes resting on those of the King of the Underworld, "she's the original whore."

Lucifer was quick to react. He leapt at the demon, who countered with his cane. Alastor didn't even have time to generate shadows before a hand grabbed his neck. A muffled sound emerged from his throat as the angel held him at its mercy. He knelt helplessly in front of the small white figure. No need for angelic form, no need for weapon, no need for power. He mastered him through sheer physical strength. Lucifer could feel his throat constricting under his grip. He could, if he wanted, use his angelic powers to annihilate him. He'd tell Charlie he was gone, that's all. However, he remembered his daughter's face when he'd returned to build the hotel. He remembered the faces of all the other residents who were more than happy to see him again. Finally, he let go of his neck and made his way to the other side of the bar. He needed another drink.

Alastor remained on the floor for a moment, his face fluctuating in various expressions that Lucifer didn't take the time to analyze. He started a new cocktail, the Old Fashioned, and glanced at the sinner. In the end, he made two glasses. He slid Alastor's onto the bar as he stood up. He glanced at the drink, his smile much more ferocious than before. Lucifer leaned on his side of the bar, level with the cocktail preparation board, and his gaze lost itself in nothingness. A silence passed as the sinner didn't touch his glass, his face torn between the desire to kill or to get drunk.

"Have you ever loved someone so much that you feel they're part of your soul?" posed Lucifer as a question. He could only see it in his peripheral vision, but he saw surprise in Alastor's eyes.

"Have you ever known someone who knows you so well that you feel she's part of you, that you feel her presence or absence?" he continued. He wondered why he was telling him this. He figured it was the alcohol.

He wasn't waiting for an answer. He was just lost in thought.

"Yes." replied a tiny voice he didn't immediately recognize, although the radio effect told him who it was from.

His eyes fell on Alastor, who had sat down on the stool. He had taken the glass of Old Fashioned he had prepared for him. His smile was still present on those features, but it was softer, more tender, almost genuine.

"My mother." continued the sinner, his gaze lost in the drink. "She was so gentle with me, so understanding, always so patient. I felt her deep in my gut, like a ball of warmth irrigating my soul. One day, I was doing my radio show when I felt the ball disappear."

Alastor took a sip, as if the memory of this loss were still fresh in his mind.

"When I went to see her, she was already gone," he continued.

A silence settled between them, much more comfortable than the previous one. Lucifer took a sip too.

"When I was created," he began, "I didn't know this feeling. I was different. I was the intruder. The eldest, yes, but the renegade. The first, but the failure. Then I met her. It was strange at first, but she was patient too. She introduced me to a world I'd never known, to feelings I'd never been shown. Then I felt it, like you do, this ball of warmth deep inside me, this unwavering presence, even when we were literally in different worlds."

He touched her belly, a tender smile on his face.

"It's still there, that feeling. That's why I know she's alive," he finished, taking a sip of his drink.

"Wouldn't that be the alcohol going to your head?" asked Alastor, in a monotone.

Lucifer laughed heartily, which stunned the sinner. His laughter was far from what he knew. It rippled through the room like a wave of pure, divine joy.

"Maybe you're right!" replied the angel. "Maybe it is that stupid."

Another silence fell between them. Lucifer was still staring at the nothingness in front of him, sipping his cocktail. Alastor, for his part, stared at his glass, lost in the meandering of his drink. Suddenly, he winced and put a hand to his chest. Lucifer, in his peripheral vision, saw the gesture. The sinner's expression was painful. He frowned as the stag demon rose to his feet.

"This was a very nice discussion," said the latter, in a tone that didn't show his pain. "However, I'm allergic to such mawkishness. So I'll leave you to it."

He drank the rest of his cocktail in one gulp, causing Lucifer to raise an eyebrow as he made his way to the other side of the bar, to stand opposite him. Alastor gave him a look of disdain and began to walk around him. The angel got in his way with disconcerting ease. The sinner was a good two heads taller than him, and Lucifer was clearly not impressed. How could he, having overpowered him in just a few seconds?

"To what do I owe this interposition?" asked Alastor, raising an eyebrow.

Without a word, Lucifer stretched out his hand towards the stag demon's chest. Without touching it, the sinner felt a strange sensation cross his skin, transfusing into his blood. A beneficial glow. A divine glow. He recoiled in fright and placed a hand on his chest. The pain he'd felt since being wounded by Adam had vanished. He'd managed to heal himself, but the angelic magic had remained condensed in his tissues. He hadn't been able to drive it out. Lucifer had done so in a matter of seconds. He looked up at the angel, who was watching him with stern eyes.

"I don't know who you are, demon." he said, in a serious tone, a far cry from his usual buffoonery "I don't know why you're here. You're clearly not here to gain access to redemption. There are more direct ways to amuse yourself. I don't believe you're here for the reasons you gave to Charlie. But my daughter trusts you. Everyone here trusts you."

The King of Hell shook his head negatively.

"I don't. I don't smell you, bellboy" he continued, suspiciously "But for the sake of this hotel, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. However" his tone grew more threatening "I'm watching you."

Alastor looked at him for a long moment, then curtsied.

"It's an honor, Your Majesty," he said, his voice full of sarcasm. He pushed past him, glaring menacingly.

"Have a nice evening." he said before disappearing into the shadows of the room.

Lucifer remained motionless for a moment. His eyes rested on the spot where the sinner had evaporated. He couldn't understand this man. He was so hostile, so malevolent, that it transpired through his aura. However... earlier, when he'd been talking about his mother. It had been short, very short, but he had felt something. A crack. An opportunity. A potential.

He smiled as he turned back to the bar. Charlie really did have an instinct that had never been equaled in the history of creation.

[nicepersondisorder]

What is your favourote and least favourite character from hazbin? Would you change anything about them?

THANK YOU FOR QUESTION !!

i have MANY favorite characters from hazbin !! depending on the traits and the lense we're sorting them by

they're all so interesting and cool!! charchar is amazing and i love how she refuses to give up and sees good in everyone (AND HER VOICE ACTOR IS SO GOOD. SHE HAS SUCH PRETTY VOICE.). she's determined and goal oriented and her dreams are so good and while she has issues and problems, she's genuinely such a good person. i also like the fact that she's a sweet bubbly character, but she still doesn't shy away from swearing and she was shown to lose her cool several times. i love her. i really should reblog more arts with her. okkkk once i finish writing this answer i will go and queue more arts with my babygirl !!!! o7

have i told i love charlie? yeah? i love her. i love her a lot. sorry. next segment

in the next segment we have "pathetic losers", which has two sub-types: "dorks" and "just genuinely pathetic. like. good lord they're so fucking pathetic. (/neg)."

at the top is lucifer ! he's a fascinating critter. he goes in the "dorks" category, but he is really pathetic. dipping toes in the second category even! loser <3 (speaking of losers, i LOVE husk's design. no i'm not biased because he's a cat what are you talking about !!)(i'm lying)(don't have a special opinion on his overall character though, sowwy </3). ANYWAY continuing with lucifer! majority of the scenes with him were Physically Painful to watch due to Second Hand Embarrassment (also i did skip almost all of the episode due to Reasons tm. i need to go and actually watch it. sloooowly). his "TAKE THAT DEPRESSION" lives rent fee in my brain and reminds me of a "could a depressed person make this?" meme. he's pathetic wet beast of a man and while i dislike his absence and flippancy towards his daughter, i understand him (LOL). im also extremely depressed 🤝. that doesn't excuse his actions but i do get why he acts the way he acts. also i don't have "more than anything" playing on repeat. don't look at my music app

second in the "dorks" category is sir pentious! not gushing about him as much as about charchar or lucifer, but he is just so. he evokes cuteness agression in me. i need to make a balloon animal out of him. he is such a nerd. i loved him when the pilot came out (the only character from pilot i drew in 2019 actually!)(you should be honored sirsnake!!). he's not on the list of my favorite favorite characters, i just thought i'd include him since i brought up the "dorks" subtype.

breaking the segment to talk how i find charlie endearing. she's such a sweetheart..... she can do it i believe in her and her dreams <33 (sir pent DID get redeemed after all!!!! the hotel is working !!). she's so silly. love her. ok moving to subtype "pathetic /neg"

the one and only character in this category is vox. he's so fucking pathetic. tearing my hair out i LOVE him for this. okay so i might be a liiiiitle bit unfair to him BUT . his crush on alastor is just so. shaking crying i don't have words for this. he has such bad taste in men (affectionate). AND THE WAY HE ACTS ABOUT IT IS ALSO SO PATHETIC. "oh i learned that the guy who i have love(unrequited)/hate relationship with is back from 7 years absence??? i must broadcast how i don't care about him at all IMMEDIATELY". has the vibe from the joke i've heard somewhere "i've been chasing you for seven miles to tell you how much i don't care about you" or something like that, don't remember the exact wordinb unfortunately 😔. he IS a cool character tho. i love his design, im really weak for tv headed characters. i could run doom on him.sorry. also his powers are sick as fuck!!! but he's so pathetic it's easy to froget how much influence he has an how strong he is.i want to pick him apart on the vivisection table. sorry again. no im not

okay ! next category! "fucking dick holy shit". valentino. he's So Terrible. i need him boiled in oil and i also hate him and i like him and i hope he dies ten thousand deaths and i want to see him suffer. kind of niffty-like type of like for him! he's really fascinating in the worst way possible and he's like. hmmmm im not sure how to put it? he's a genuinely good character (NOT person, two different things) and he can be both absolutely terrible vile etc etc, there are scenes shown that humanize him, which i think is also a good thing, because irl abusers are not one dimensional, and so fictinal ones also shouldn't be, especially in a show that wants to bring up serious themes correctly. controversial opinion but people bitching about how val's design is wasted on him are completely missing the point. yeah.

um! moving on !

there are more characters that i Like, but if i'd be listing them all im afraid itd take years 😭 like you asked for one (1) favorite character and i wrote you a whole essay LMAO

and i don't think i have a least favorite character? it takes too much energy to dislike a character that i don't have XD (i do have a slight distate for alastor, but it's for personal 🍎 reasons so i'm not gonna include him in the post! or in the tags)

nvm i lied i don't like zestial. i Can Not understand what he's saying 💔 bless the subtitles ! that's a silly "least favorite character" don't take it seriously !

ALMOST FORGOT TO ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION. i don't think i'd change anything about the characters !! except maybe making zestial's speech more understandable. please bitches with auditory processing issues can't understand what you're saying zestial please im begginb you on my knees WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

[sanctum-of-ramshackle]

Do We Have a Deal?

TWST AU: An MC/Yuu from Hazbin Hotel

Demon Lord!MC/Yuu

[Synopsis]: In this timeline, Crowley “accidentally” summoned a demon and they now hang around NRC.

[TW]: A brief mention of MC/Yuu having intrusive thoughts of consuming human souls and flesh.

Gender Neutral MC/Yuu

[A/N]: I have been listening to Insane by Black Gryph0n (ft. Baasik) and it’s quite catchy.

First question: How did they arrived in Twisted Wonderland?

There’s an old forbidden book locked away in an enchanted glass case, hidden deep in the library to prevent students to have their hands on it. Dire Crowley, as irresponsible as he is, decided to open the case just for curiosity.

Trein spotted him and warned him about what it contains. Incantations, immoral rituals, harmful spells, the list goes on. (Don’t ask me how he knows. All I can say he’s way old to know what’s dangerous.) After being warned, Crowley still continues to possibly doom everyone’s lives.

He got the book and flips through the pages containing cryptic symbols and eerie messages written from the previous writer. Then he finds one page that caught his masked eyes.

[Pg. 667: <The Radio Demon>]

The summoning goes by a ritual involves a secluded area, 5 candlesticks, a pentagram with symbols copied from the page, an old radio and a drop of impure blood. There’s specific instructions the reader needs to follow.

Then Crowley proceeds to perform the ritual in the Mirror Chamber. As he finishes the instructions, the floor cracks opens to reveal a figure in a sharp suit with asymmetrical deer antlers and eyes glowing eerily staring at Crowley.

“Who has summoned me and what business you have in mind~?” Their voice as if muffled through a microphone with technical problems at a radio station.

“The Radio Demon?”

*Record scratches*

Now in their actual voice. “…That’s my brother, Alastor. I’m the Static Demon.”

Yep. That’s right. They’re related to The Infamous Radio Demon.

There’s been a HUGE misunderstanding. The demon snatches the forbidden book out of Crowley’s hands and flips to their page.

[Pg. 667 <The Radio Static Demon>]

“I told that writer not to write in a candle lit room at night. Great, now I need to get this over with and finish what started.” They mumbled before turning the attention to Crowley, shadowing over the headmaster. Smiling sinisterly down at him.

“Now tell me, my fellow crow-man, do you wish to make a deal~? If you try to trick me with your human cleverness, it won’t work.”

Now Crowley screwed up. He unleashed a demon who can turn people mad. He panics and offers a deal for them to hang around while try not to cause insanity.

Static Demon!MC/Yuu was just summoned in an unfamiliar world so why not explore the place.

Also Static Demon!MC/Yuu found Grim and demands Crowley to register the feline creature in the college since they see great “potential” in him.

Static Demon!MC/Yuu: Young man, I don’t know what you’re talking about. What Great Seven? I only know powerful people from Hell, and one of them is me~

[Croaks their neck to the side while smiling creepily over Ace. Static noises start deafening the First Year student’s ears.]

Ace: *Covers his ears* *Has a terrified expression and internally screaming*

Static Demon!MC/Yuu: Are we clear?

Static Demon!MC/Yuu: *Pulls out their reading glasses and reads a contract from Azul* …You boys are idiots.

Ace, Deuce, and Grim: Eh?!

Ace: You don’t have to remind us about it.

Deuce: We’re really sorry, Lord MC/Yuu…

Static Demon!MC/Yuu: You should’ve asked for my help with the exam. Not sign your will off with a grubby eight-legged mafia boss.

Trey: MC/Yuu, what do you usually eat?

Static Demon!MC/Yuu’s cannibalistic thoughts: ‘The souls/flesh of the innocence!’

Static Demon!MC/Yuu: Bagels.

Static Demon!MC/Yuu’s cannibalistic thoughts: ‘What?! No!’

Static Demon!MC/Yuu: And venison. That’s what I usually consume back home.

[(A/N): Little lore for this MC/Yuu: They try to eat less human flesh since after having access to the internet back in Hell, they got disgusted by facts of what diseases their future victims can carry.]

💫Reblogs help creators!✨

[rons-hermiones]

Come Find Me

Come Find Me

by rons-hermiones

Summary: Unplanned, Hermione is forced to spend Christmas at the Burrow due to her grandmother falling very ill. After being ignored by Hermione for weeks, Ron is determined to show her how much she means to him. Just before he gets the chance to tell her, Bellatrix Lestrange shows up with other plans for Hermione. Can Ron get to her before it's too late? (Ron/Hermione Half-Blood Prince AU)

Rating: M for language & dark themes in later chapters.

Chapter Thirteen

With unsure nods, the pair vacated the kitchen and back into the living room. There was a mix of weeping family members and those out doing something. Searching the area, thinking of where Hermione could’ve gone. 

Ron soon decides he’s done being in the mourning category. He needs to remain strong and vigilant, for no one else but Hermione. 

“Someone needs to get Dumbledore here.” Ron’s shaky voice says, commanding all eyes to him. 

“Albus?” Arthur asks curiously, his eyes a little glassed over as he rubs Molly’s back. 

The youngest Weasley brother nods, “You-Know-Who he wanted,” he inhaled, trying to keep his voice leveled, “he wanted Hermione.”

Eyes widened in shock. Bill’s mouth hangs open as Lupin furiously paces the room, tapping at his temple. 

“What would that bastard want with Hermione?” George grumbles lowly, but it’s loud enough for everyone to hear.

“We don’t know,” Harry finally spoke, “that’s why we need Dumbledore. Now.” His tone left no room for argument. 

“I’ll do it.” Lupin tells the group, stalking off to the kitchen. 

Everyone was rather astounded by the proclamation, they were expecting Remus to push Ron or Harry to divulge what happened.

“I got it.” Tonks announced, suddenly appearing from the back door. 

Everyone whirled around to face her, “her wand, I have it. It’s Hermione, isn’t it?” The woman’s voice became softer. 

Ron stepped forward and gently took it from Tonks hand. 

‘Not so brave without our wand, are we muddy?’ 

He shivers as the cold wood caresses his hand. 

“She hasn’t got a wand,” Ginny moaned behind the veil of hair she had been hiding behind, “she’ll die.” 

“Oi Ginny!” Ron said angrily, no one had ever seen him this mad before, his sister flinched. 

“Don’t you say things like that.” Molly told her daughter, hugging her to her chest. 

They were all interrupted by a soft rapping on a nearby window. 

“Dumbledore already?” Charlie said aloud. 

Instinctively, Ron pocketed Hermione’s vine wood wand and drew his own. Arthur lurched to the window, ready to strike, when he stopped. 

Breathing a sigh of relief he turned, “it’s your owl Harry.” 

“Hedwig?” He asked suspiciously as he stalked toward the bird. 

Tied to her leg was a rolled up piece of parchment. Giving her a nice pet first, he soon untied the contents and noticed it was addressed to Hermione. 

“Who is it?” Bill asked. 

He sucked in a breath, “it’s for Hermione, it’s from her parents.” His voice dropped at this. 

Molly suddenly let out a small cry, completely forgetting that her own parents were to be told that their child, their only child, was gone. 

“What’s it say?” Fred piped up from his spot on the arm chair. 

Harry’s eyes fell on Ron’s, “I’m not sure if it’s my place to open it.” 

Wordlessly, he passed the envelope over to Ron, whose mouth was agape at being trusted with such a thing. 

Ignoring the gazes from his family, he peeled open the thing and let his eyes fix on the page. He skimmed every other line as certain sentences stuck out. 

Merry Christmas! 

We’ll send your gifts as soon as we’re home. 

I hope you’re being kind to the Weasley’s. 

We’re sorry to tell you this way, please don’t be too upset.

Grandma Jean passed last night, on Christmas Eve. 

It was peaceful. 

She thought of your grandpa. 

She thought of you. 

Don’t disappear on the Weasley’s. 

Stay where you are. 

We’re fine. 

You have Ron and Harry. 

We love you. 

See you soon. 

He let the parchment flutter to the ground. He hadn’t had it in him to read the entirety of it, but what he read was enough. 

The phrases like ‘don’t disappear’, ‘stay where you are’, and ‘see you soon’ reverberated around in his head. 

“Ronnie, what is it?” Bill probed gently from his spot next to Fleur. 

He swallowed the bile in his throat, “her grandmother, she passed. She’s gone.” A few gasps filled the room, “their daughter, she’s, she’s gone too. How are we gonna tell them? How am I gonna tell them? It’s all my fault.” 

Despite not knowing what entailed, no one, besides Ron himself, blamed him for what happened. 

“Ron,” his mother swiftly budged in, ready to console her son. 

However, he was having none of it, he didn’t deserve it, “her parents they don’t know about any of this.” 

Late at night in fifth year, he found Hermione in the common room. She was working mercilessly over a piece of parchment as tears pooled on the pages. When he asked what was wrong, she finally let it out and admitted she’d been living a lie. Telling her parents Hogwarts was lovely and the only thing on her mind were exams. No dark lord, no death eaters. 

For a brief moment, he wondered if Harry knew too. 

“Not about You-Know-Who, not about Cedric, the department of mysteries, not even about prejudices against Muggleborns.” He admitted to everyone in the room. 

And by the look on Harry’s face, this was news to him. 

“Did you know?” Ginny dared to ask Harry. 

At this, the chosen one shook his head. Suddenly feeling guilty, Harry had been wallowing so much in his own problems he failed to be there for Hermione, who was fiercely loyal to him. 

“Why would she lie about that?” Fleur butted in, not judgmental, but just trying to understand. 

“She was scared they’d take her out of Hogwarts.” He told everyone, Tonks nods  in understanding, her dad being a Muggle. 

“Because of me.” Harry said without missing a beat. 

“No,” Ron protested. 

“Yes, she wouldn’t be in this position if it weren’t for me. She wouldn’t be gone, she wouldn’t be lying to her parents.” He stated, sure that was the case. 

“You’d also be dead without her.” His best friend stated with conviction. Ron was already lost in self wallowing, the last thing he needed was for Harry to drown in it too. “We both would be.” He couldn’t help but add, despite the situation being so close to home. 

“Ronnie,” Fred’s voice, sounding the most gentle he’s ever heard, broke through the air, “can you tell us what happened? Please.” He pleaded. After all, everyone here cared for Hermione too. 

A few times Ron opened and closed his mouth, not really knowing what to say. After fumbling like a fish for two minutes, he settled for something, “I’m not-“ I’m not strong enough. 

But, the words never came, a crack sounded outside, and for a sickening moment he imagined Bellatrix Lestrange to waltz through the door. 

Instead, he was meant by his fathers shouts, “it’s Dumbledore!” He exclaimed, opening the back door. 

In a moment's notice the Headmaster's looming six foot frame is towering in his doorway and at the sight, Ron knows somewhere within him he has to manage to be strong enough. 

“Albus.” Molly said, relieved at the sight of him, “we’re sorry to do this to you on Christmas and all.” She stood wiping at her eyes. 

The old man didn’t have the heart to tell everyone here that Christmas had long gone, it was nearing two in the morning. 

“Of course Molly. I’ve had Remus go collect Alastor and Kingsley. Nymphadora, do you mind getting Minerva for me?” He asked kindly, annoyingly calm if you ask Ron. 

Dumbledore, being one of the only people to get away with calling her that, Tonks just nodded to him as she stalked out to the backyard. 

Ron gulps, it’s just now hitting him how serious this all is. The Albus Dumbledore, the most powerful Wizard living, someone with their own bloody chocolate frog card is in his living room. But there’s no time to marvel at it or even feel shocked, because he knows why he’s here. 

He’s here because Hermione’s gone. 

Next, the white haired man found a spot on the sofa and surprisingly plopped down. “Now, I need to know everything if I am to help.” 

Ron’s still reeling from telling Harry and because of the owl from Hermione’s parents. And by the looks of it, Harry’s feeling the same as he stands stock still and paler than usual. 

Thankfully, Bill notices the boys expression and takes over as much as he can, “it all started we were all in here, opening gifts, and then,” 

“I was in the garden, we-,” he swallows the lump in his throat, “we were in the garden.” Ron almost whispers. 

A little awkwardly, unsure what to say, Bill just nods and goes on, “we were opening gifts and we heard a crack, apparition.” Dumbledore nods at this. 

“Two cracks.” Charlie interrupts, earning a slanted look from Bill. 

Doing his best to not get frustrated by the multitude of people butting in, he ignores it. “So we went outside. We heard her first...” he trailed, not wanting to say it. 

“It is crucial you tell me everything that happened, everything that was said.” Dumbledore reminded at his uncertainty. 

“Bellatrix,” Harry’s shaky voice said, “she was saying how she killed Sirius.” 

Everyone, Bill included, waits for Harry to continue the story on, but instead the dark haired boy offers the eldest Weasley a nod. 

“Greyback was with her too.” Bill added, “She didn’t say much honestly, nothing out of the ordinary. Recognized the lot of us, Tonks, Lupin, Harry, called us blood traitors, remembered Hermione from the ministry.” At the mention of her name the room tensed, “then she casted incendio around the Burrow and skipped away, literally.” 

Neither Ron or Harry made a move to fill in the gaps. 

Bill sighed, “Harry, he ran after her, Hermione followed, so did Ronnie. By the time they were all gone, the fire, it blocked the path.” 

At the admission, the chosen one's eyes bulged, “it’s all my fault. She ran after me.”

“Harry,” Ron tried weakly. 

Sensing the lack of energy, Fred surprisingly jumped in, “if one of you went all three one of you would’ve. You know that just as well as I do.”

“Mr.Weasley is correct, now I know this may be difficult but I’m going to need one of you to please tell me what occurred. This is the only way I’m able to help your friend.” The old man eyed Ron and Harry who had found themselves standing side by side against the window. 

“I can’t say much, I was running before I stunned Greyback. Hermione and Ron were with them longer.” Harry was able to speak, mustering any courage he had left. 

Ron stared blankly at his headmaster. 

“Ron.” His mother said gently, “please.” She sounded like she was crying. 

Sucking in a shaky breath, he hoped to some higher power this would be the last time he ever told this story. He knew he would be reliving it for the rest of his nights,  whenever he fell asleep. 

“I didn’t hear Bellatrix say much, not the first time at least,” this made the room shudder, “all I could see was her wand pressed to Hermione’s throat, Greyback was eying her like a meal, so I tried to disarm her.” His voice dropped, “it didn’t do anything, I couldn’t use any spells, I couldn’t hurt Hermione.” Ron’s eyes grew glassy, “then Harry came.” 

Seeing Ron needed a minute, the dark haired boy jumped in, “I stunned Greyback. He fell to the ground. It surprised Bellatrix, Hermione was able to get away. Next thing I knew, I was running.” His eyes flicked back to blue ones. 

“So were Hermione and I. She started going-going,” he’s stuttering, “going on about how Lestrange told her  that You-Know-Who, he’s been talking about her.” 

Small gasps filled the room, even Dumbledore’s eyes grew wide, “about Miss Granger?” 

Ron nodded stiffly, “she was certain they wouldn’t kill her, said they needed her for-for something. Bellatrix, she said she wasn’t here for Harry.” 

It was Harry’s turn for answers. His eyes pleaded with Dumbledore for any piece of wisdom, practically begging to know what game they were playing at. However, for once, the old man didn’t seem to know any answers now, they laid with Ron. 

The youngest Weasley brother sensed his responsibility and thought of Hermione, using her to be strong. 

“We stopped by the old oak tree to catch our breaths, we knew we had to go after Harry, but before we could we heard the two of them. She thought we were Harry, when she said as much, Greyback asked why it had mattered, they were on strict orders not to kill him.” 

“Why?” Harry’s voice broke, he needed to know. Bellatrix had ample opportunities to end it but she hadn’t. 

Dumbledore shook his head, “I can’t say for certain Harry. It sounds as if Voldemort,” the Weasley family shivered at the name, “wants you for himself. Tom has always been one for theatrics, anything for an act of defiance. What I can’t understand is why they didn’t attempt to apparate you.” He voiced aloud. 

Slowly, the Boy-Who-Lived nodded in acknowledgment, but certainly not in understanding. 

“What happened next Ron?” The man asked softly. 

He cleared his throat nervously, “Bellatrix, she said if she found me, that she’d-she’d kill me.” Nearby, Molly moaned in pain, falling into Ginny, “that I was just another blood traitor. But for Hermione, she said-” he shut his eyes tightly, “said she’d be a perfect gift for him.” 

They all knew who ‘he’ was. Fleur was trembling as the story continued, Ginny had the urge to clamp her hands over her ears, Charlie was fully engaged, and the twins nervously eyed the floor. 

“Said she was the brilliant one and all that, that she must know something and they’d get it out of her.” He released a breath, “Merlin, she’s so stupid, so stupid.” He began to cry. 

“Ron, you need to tell them. For her.” Harry reminded in an equally as broken whisper, clapping a hand on his shoulder to give him strength. 

“She knew they wanted to kill me and she knew they didn’t wanna kill her...” he trailed, wiping at his eyes. 

“No.” Fred said aloud, before he could help it, dropping his head in his hands, putting together what happened. 

“She casted the stunning spell on me and a disillusionment charm, there was a crack and she was gone.” Ron said it rushed, sloppily, unable to even get through it before collapsing against the wall. 

Molly stood up, sat down and embraced her son.  

“Did Bellatrix perform any spells or curses on Hermione?” Dumbledore asked the sobbing boy. 

“Albus.” Missus Weasley scolded. 

Ron shook his head numbly, “expelliarmus, that was it.” 

The old man paced around the room before directing his attention to Harry and Ron, the latter now calming in his mother’s embrace. 

“Did she know something?” He asked flustered. Harry’s never heard the professor sound so rushed, so panicked. It worried him to the core. 

Frantically, Potter shook his head, “I don't know, maybe, no? I don't know.” He’s panicking now too. 

The white haired man turns his attention to Ron, “she wouldn’t have to me anything, she wouldn’t.” It broke his heart even more, it’s just now hitting him that Hermione’s gone and he can’t remember the last thing he said to her. Just what he wanted to say. 

“Has she been fixated on anything? Talking, asking, reading?” He lists off, Harry hasn’t heard him use this tone since his name was pulled from the goblet of fire. 

The boys look at each other and think, but nothing comes up, they can’t even see straight. 

“That book.” Ginny states in a crisp voice, “she’s been reading the same book for weeks. Writing notes on it.” 

He rounded to the young girl, “what book?” 

Ginny shook her head unknowingly, “I don’t know. She puts it away whenever anyone comes around.” Her voice is uneven, but it’s evident she wants to help anyway she can. 

“The cover is black, there’s gold trim. There’s no title, very old looking.” Fleur speaks for the first time, recalling their time under the tree. 

“Do you know where it is?” He seemed determined to find it, Harry sensed realization in his eyes. 

Fleur shook her infadictly, Ginny shrugged, “her trunk?” She suggested. 

“Please take me there.” He said to no one in particular. 

Over his large frame, Ginny’s eyes found Harry’s, she nodded at him, signaling it was his duty. 

“Follow me.” Harry stood from the floor and rushed to the steps. 

Dumbledore’s robes flew behind him as the old man climbed the steps with fervor. When he reached Hermione’s trunk, he flung it open unceremoniously and ripped through its contents like a mad man. 

Harry had half the heart to scold him and be more gentle with her things. And he was just about to say as much, until the headmaster stopped moving. 

In his old, shaking hands, was that old thing that had been attached to Hermione for weeks. 

Harry had asked her about it a few times, she just said it was for ‘light reading’ and brushed him off. He chose not to mention it, reading was ordinary for her. 

Next, a brown journal was being pried open by Dumbledore. By the looks of it, the pages were spelled as he whispered a counter incantation to it as the witches neat scrawl filled the pages. 

“Hey, it’s just her diary! That’s private.” He scolded. 

And for the first time since they got up here, Dumbledore turned to him, eyes wide as saucers. 

“This is no diary Harry.”

[missblissy]

What about Alastor with a very powerful s/o who is really soft with the people at the hotel, and angel dust is her best friend

((THIS WAS A LOT OF FUN!!! I loved exploring this setting and dynamic! It reminded me a lot of my own OC QvQ Excuse me for self indulging, but it was so much fun and I made it angsty lol, don’t give me the choice/option to do so because I will always make it angsty. Anyways, Enjoy!!))

At first, a lot of the residents feared you, after all you were one of the most powerful demons in Hell, and for whatever reason, you had followed your idiot husband into this Happy Hotel. And you didn’t really like anyone there at first. But you began to open up to them.’

While many people feared you on the battleground, you were incredibly kind and sweet which confused people as to how on earth someone as nice as you ended up with a guy like Alastor. You were so kind, you always made time for whoever needed you. 

In some cases, Charlie would come to you with question about her father (You knew him well) And how she struggled with the weight he was putting on her shoulders. You’d encourage her to stay strong, do her best, and always believe in herself. 

In other cases, Angel would come to you, bored out of his mind and dying for something to do. You’d happily offer to go into the city with him. It turns out Angel was a secret shopaholic, and so were you... Haha, so it was pretty often that the two of you would walk into the hotel with dozens of bags dangling from your arms. Good thing Angel had some extras to spare!

Now, there was just one teeny tiny itty bitty little problem. The more you hung around your new friends, especially Angel, the more... bitter Alastor became. He was a little bit of petty and big bit of possessive, mixed with an odd sense of jealousy. He was so jealous in a way that didn’t make sense for anyone else but himself. 

And really? It only bothered him when you hung around Angel. Not because he thought Angel would ‘steal’ you away from him, simply because Alastor wanted to be the only one that made you smile like that. He wanted to be the only one who could get you to giggle behind your hand and roll your eyes at a stupid joke. 

Simply put, Alastor didn’t like sharing. It even started a fight between the two of you one day, “I just don’t understand it!” Alastor exclaimed, “He’s dirty, he’s disgusting! He’s just- ugh! Not clean at all! Why do you even bother to lower someone as mighty as yourself to spend time with... him?” Alastor made a face of disgust as he spoke to you. 

And you angerly defended Angel, “Because he’s still a person, Alastor! We’re all people deep down inside! All of us were humans once, and all of us ended up here because of the shitty things we’ve done. Maybe if you got to know Angel, you’d realize that the two of you have a lot in common!”

“Oh don’t compare me to him, we’re nothing alike. I’m an artist, an entertainer, a skilled master! I have class and grace. Angel is just a horny little worm wriggling in his own filth-”

“You’re a cannibal and a serial killer who chose to kill himself than rather face his crimes in the slammer! You took the cowards way out so don’t act so mighty and proud,” Your words were cold as ice and were enough to cause Alastor’s smile to drop, “If you knew anything about Angel, you’d know he’d more than just the glitz and glam of the world he’s buried himself in. You have your vices too, you could at least understand that,”

“I don’t want to understand anything,” He said calmly but there wasn’t a smile on his face anymore, there was a frown growing there and even a smear of anger, “I just don’t want to share you with him!” His words were harsh and loud as he yelled, “You’ve been mine for so long and you spend so much time with everyone else! I never get to see you anymore, it was always just us! Only us! I want to stay that way! I don’t want to lose you to these... idiots! I’ve never seen you care about others like this before and it scares me, dammit it! I thought I was the only one you cared about!”

You started to realize that Alastor’s feelings were petty but valid. You always believed everyone was entitled to their feelings. Maybe you had been spending a lot of time with Angel, and maybe you had been putting the others before Alastor, he was your husband after all. You stared at him, he was so angry and it showed all over his face, “I’m sorry,” Your apology surprised him, “I didn’t mean to make you feel like,” You slowly walked towards him, close the distance between the two of you.

You held out your hands, palms facing up words. Alastor glared his gaze down and you watched him calm down and place his hands upon yours, “I’m not going anywhere,” You told him with a soft smile, you took one hand and traced it along his cheek with your thumb tracing under his eye, “I promise. I’m sorry for not making enough time for you,” He pressed his cheek into your hand and you watched him almost rib his face against your hand like a kitten would.

His anger melted away and he was smiling again, you loved the smile, twisted and as psychotic as it was, you loved it all, “You will always have my heart,” You told your husband while taking his hand that was still holding yours and placed it upon your chest, “In this life and the next-” 

Alastor’s smile grew at your words and he completed your sentence, “Under every star in the sky, among the moon and the night-” 

Then you continued on, “I give my heart to you and you alone,” The two of you stepped closer together, getting tangled up in each other’s arms

And then together you said, “Forever yours, always in spirit, may our souls forever be entwined until the end of days, with love carrying us all the way,” You were inches away from his lips and you stole that kiss with a heated love that burned alive tenfold. You always knew that reciting your vows was one of Alastor’s weakness. He just couldn’t stay mad at you when those words escaped your lips. And he couldn’t get enough of that sweet tangy taste of breath on his as he stole kiss after kiss. 

[jetsetlife138]

Imaginary - Chapter 4

Rating: Mature for this chapter, but Explicit in future chapters

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Summary: A mysterious device throws you into the animated world of Hazbin Hotel. Once an average human living in a three-dimensional world, you’re now transformed into a two-dimensional human that has been cast into Hell. Pentagram City’s residents are curious and most harbor ill-will towards you. Charlie and the staff of the Happy Hotel take you in and offer you protection while they try and figure out how to return you to your world. That is… until you come across a certain Radio Demon with different intentions. Chapter Warnings: Suggestive language, explicit language

Previous Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3

Note: Just a reminder to my uninformed and curious folks out there: Asexuals can become aroused.  Asexuals can have the desire to become aroused. Asexuals can enjoy being aroused.  Asexuals can take steps to becoming aroused.  Asexuals can be aroused by someone else.  Asexuals can be curious about arousal.  Asexuals can alternatively have no interest in arousal.  Asexuality doesn’t mean that you are celibate and have no interest in sex. Do yourself a favor and do some research. Talk to your ace friends. Trust me, they’re more than happy to educate you on that subject.  Brace yourselves for another fun-filled chapter! 

Looking back, acting so aggressively towards the infamous demon was probably not the smartest plan. It may have been a bit premature to assume that he was making any kind of sexual advances towards you. After all, he never really confirmed that was his intention. You may have just dug yourself into an even deeper hole. 

Then again… you wouldn’t put it past him considering how he carried himself and also by the way Angel Dust encouraged more illicit behavior. Even with the small amount of time that you had spent with him, it was obvious that the Radio Demon was an opportunist, and also a crafty bastard who got off on manipulating others for his own personal gain. You had wondered if there was a part of him that genuinely wanted to help Charlie with the hotel, or if he had any ulterior motives. Maybe Vaggie had the right idea about him after all. 

Whatever the case, you had to be smart about this. You weren’t going to get anywhere by being so negative. However, it was also important to brace yourself for any impending threat, especially considering that you were, after all, in Hell. Cartoon or not, this place was filled with evil creatures, and you had to watch your back. 

Taking a deep breath, you braced yourself to leave the safety of your room, equally curious and terrified of what would await you in this mysterious land. Stepping out into the hall, you took a moment to really look around, admiring the creepy hotel structure as well as the art on the wall. Painting of strange beings lined the halls in old, corroded frames. You weren’t sure if the creatures on the canvas were important historical figures, or if they were just members of Charlie’s family. Either way, they were haunting. 

Hearing a commotion downstairs, you decided to go and investigate. Following the noises, you had eventually found yourself in a large room where Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel Dust were gathered together, bickering about something with an odd, furry cat demon who was positioned behind the bar next to them with an annoyed look on his face. 

Upon seeing you enter, Charlie cut the conversation short, forcing a nervous grin. “Oh, hey there! How’s it going?”

Keeping your expression neutral, you replied, “I’m hanging in there, thanks. Am I interrupting something?” 

“Not at all!” she assured you, clearly deflecting. “We were just, uh… discussing tactics to get you home. It would help if we had a little more to go off of. Can you tell us more about you?”

“Just ask Alastor,” Angel suggested, wiggling his eyebrows. “The two a them were gettin’ real familiar upstairs. I’m sure he’d be happy to fill you in.”

“Um. What?” Vaggie snapped, her expression equally enraged and horrified. 

Glaring at the spider-demon, he merely blew a kiss at you in return before snickering fiendishly, eager to see how this would play out. 

“He came to my room after the two of you left,” you admitted, noting the nervous glances between Charlie and Vaggie. “It wasn’t a big deal. We just talked.” 

“Oh, honey,” Angel began. “You was doin’ a lot more than that. These walls talk, babe. And these walls told me they saw you two in bed together.”

Oh, fuck. Not good. 

Charlie looked horrified  while Vaggie seemed to be on the brink of a conniption. “No, no, no, it wasn’t like that,” you urged, putting them slightly at ease. “He was trying to help me.” 

“How is being in bed together helpful to your cause?” Vaggie pressed, clearly not buying it. 

“He did something to me… I’m not even sure. He said that he could help me and then he put his hand on my head. Next thing I know, I’m blacking out. I woke up later in the bed, and he just happened to be lying next to me. That’s it.”

Angel Dust rolled his eyes, crossing one set of his arms in disbelief while Vaggie pursed her lips in a disappointed manner. Charlie took a moment to find her words before she asked, “What exactly did he do to you?”

“Apparently, he could see inside my head. By looking through my memories he could see what my world looked like. I’m not sure how that’s beneficial. Maybe he just wanted to see if I was telling the truth. He didn’t say. He’s… weird.” 

“That’s an understatement,” Vaggie murmured, earning a chuckle from the cat-demon behind the bar. 

“Was that all?” Charlie inquired curiously. 

“Yeah, toots. Was that all?” Angel teased, biting his lip to keep from laughing. Ugh, he was going to be the death of you. 

“He tried to make a deal with me,” you finally divulged. 

“Hijo de puta,” Vaggie seethed, baring her teeth in anger. 

Swallowing thickly, Charlie asked, “What kind of deal?” 

Shrugging your shoulders awkwardly, you replied, “If he succeeded in somehow returning me to my world, he wanted me to take him with me. I guess he thinks my world would be entertaining for him.” 

You glanced at Angel, knowing that he was well aware of the other services that Alastor allegedly offered you. Pleading with your eyes, you hoped that he would take pity on you and keep his mouth shut just this once. 

A smirk graced his lips as he considered your silent request. Much to your relief, he kept quiet. You’d probably pay for that later, but it was worth it to avoid more horrified expressions from the others. 

Charlie wrung her hands together nervously while Vaggie approached you, worrying her lip. “Please tell me that you didn’t make a deal with him.” 

“No!” you confirmed, shaking your head. “Of course not. I barely know him.”

“You gonna give her a history lesson? Looks like I’m not the only one around here who isn’t familiar with the Strawberry Pimp,” Angel drawled, now apparently bored of the topic. 

Rolling her eyes, Vaggie sighed with exasperation. “Alright, look. No one knows how he’s accomplished so much since arriving in Hell. Overlords that have ruled Hell for centuries were no match against him. To prove his dominance and establish a reputation, Alastor pretty much massacred anyone who posed as a threat to his power. He broadcasted his carnage all throughout Hell, the mere savagery of his slaughters attesting to his abilities. That’s how he got his name, “The Radio Demon”. How original, right?” she jeered. 

Furrowing your brows, you continued to listen intently. “It’s still unclear as to how he attained the power to overthrow our world’s most ancient and devastating evils, but it’s evident that he's a nefarious demon and dangerously unpredictable--capable of unimaginable destruction.”

Holy fuck. You knew he was dangerous, but you had no idea what he was actually capable of. And you had the audacity to berate him. 

Struggling to keep from trembling, you asked, “So… if he’s so dangerous, why are you partnering with him?” 

Charlie smiled timidly, trying to maintain her optimistic demeanor. “He offered his expertise because he supports what we’re trying to do here!” 

“You cannot possibly believe that,” you countered skeptically. 

“I don’t,” Vaggie barked back, scowling. “I want nothing to do with him.”

“Vaggie, come on,” Charlie implored. “We’ve been over this. We’ve got to at least give him a chance. Everyone is capable of redemption. He hasn’t done anything to hurt us or the hotel. He could be the best thing to happen to this place. Other than you,” she finished with a smile, earning a flirtatious eye roll from her girlfriend. 

“You could always try commanding him to leave,” Angel taunted. “I’d like to see how Hell’s princess pairs up against Hell’s most powerful demon.” 

It was then you remembered hearing her mention that she was a princess the day before when she had saved you from the mob. In all of the calamity, it had completely slipped your mind. “Wait, so you’re actually a princess?” you asked. “How does that work?”

“Jesus, you really are from another world, aren’t you?” Angel interjected, reaching for a drink at the bar. “Ever hear of Lucifer? The Big Bad of Hell?”

Nodding your head, Angel then pointed to Charlie. “That’s his kid.” 

Your eyes were probably the size of baseballs as you stared at Charlie, completely at a loss for words. “It’s really not a big deal,” she assured you, her face flushed with embarrassment, which only added to her already rosy cheeks. 

“Wait, you’ve been here for less than a day. How do you even know about Lucifer?” Vaggie questioned. 

“I mean… I don’t know about your Lucifer,” you clarified, trying to find the right way to explain yourself. “In my world, Lucifer isn’t an actual person. He’s more of a myth, or a religious figure, depending on who you ask. There’s stories about him and no one knows if he actually existed. He’s always been portrayed as evil incarnate. He brought sin to the world and God cast him down into Hell. That’s the extent of my knowledge.”

“Interesting,” Vaggie commented, pressing a finger to her lips inquisitively. “Your world’s version of him isn’t too far off. Rest assured, he’s real. And he’s not really a fan of our business.” 

“Yet,” Charlie corrected her. 

“Yet,” Vaggie agreed, grinning slightly. 

“Wow,” you huffed, trying to comprehend everything. 

“I know that this is probably a lot for you to take in,” Charlie sympathized, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but we’re going to help you. All of us.” 

“Speak for yourself,” the cat-demon commented before taking a swig of his booze. 

“Oh! I forgot to introduce you! This is Husk. He’s a friend of Alastor’s--”

“I ain’t his friend!” he barked back, seething. “That stupid son of a bitch dragged me in here outta nowhere! I’m just biding my time until the booze runs out.”

“Got it,” you acknowledged, thoroughly enjoying his callousness. “It’s nice to meet you.” 

“I can’t say the same,” he grumbled, reaching for a new bottle of alcohol after pitching the old, empty bottle behind him. 

Clapping her hands together, Charlie quickly changed the subject. “Right! Let’s get started! What can you tell us about how you got here?” 

It was mostly a blur, but you tried your best to concentrate and remember exactly what had happened. “I was out with my friends and we had passed by this old thrift shop,” you began, trying to recall the details. “It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. I was looking around and saw an old television set on display. It looked like it was at least fifty years old, still in prime condition. I love that kind of retro stuff. I remember grabbing the remote for the t.v. to see if it still worked. I pressed the power button, and bam!” You threw your hands up dramatically for affect. “That’s the last thing I remember.” 

Charlie hummed in thought, looking to Vaggie for her input. “I’ve never heard of anything like that,” the moth-demon thought aloud. “Could it have been cursed?”

“That kind of stuff doesn’t exist in my world,” you countered. “Magic and curses and stuff… none of that is real. It’s all mythical.” 

“If none a that stuff is real, how do you explain this place, sugartits?” Angel chimed in, cackling. 

He wasn’t wrong. You weren’t sure how to explain your situation. “I… I don’t know,” you stammered. “Maybe magic is real. Or maybe it’s something other than magic. Of course, there’s always the very real possibility that I’m just insane and all of this is in my head.” 

“Oh, no, my dear,” an eerily familiar voice resounded ominously throughout the room. “I’ve been in your head, and I can assure you… you’re as sane as I am.”

Everyone was looking around frantically, wondering where Alastor was hiding. Moments later, a shadow appeared on the floor close to your feet, causing you to jump back and yelp as it grew rapidly until the Radio Demon himself materialized next to you, grinning widely. You briefly caught the glares and nervous expressions from the others out of the corner of your eye as he loomed over you. Wincing at his misguided assurance, you replied, “Great. That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“Ha! I do so enjoy your brazen disposition,” he jeered boisterously.

Your automatic response was to bite back with an aggressive jab, but after hearing what he was capable of, you instead avoided his gaze as you fought back the urge to antagonize him.

Immediately picking up on your hesitance, he carefully gauged your reaction as he stepped closer to you. “Now, now, darling. No need to muzzle yourself.” He then reached forward to place one of his slender fingers under your chin, tilting your face up to meet his. It took everything you had to remain still and maintain eye contact rather than smack his hand away. 

Baring his teeth in a leering smile, his eyes morphed into intimidating red slits as he purred softly. “We are going to have so much fun.” Tags: @beetlewise-and-pennyjuice @edgy-drama-queen @chasingfireflies1999 @galaxy-meteor @cecidit-31 @shadowclawstudio88

[epicbasher65685]

(Soo yeah a few people wanted to read this so here it is. sorry I can’t write for anything but I tried my hardest to get my head cannon across)

TW: descriptions of blood and gore, abuse

“What a fantastic song! No one could ever go wrong with the brilliant song “Let’s Misbehave” by none other than the darb Cole Porter!” Alastor exclaimed excitedly with his powerful transatlantic accent into the microphone. “Truly a marvelous performance. Anywho! The bayou killer strikes again! That’s right folks you heard it here first! The bayou killer claims their 11th victim! Oh the tragedy! There seems to be a pattern in this killer’s cycle. The moon cycle! Who would’ve guessed? And who will be the twelfth on the full moon? What kind of monster from hell could possibly cause this much pain and torture to both the victims and their families?” He questioned the listeners. His smile grew bigger at his sarcastic yet genuine sounding empathy. Deep within him he knew there was none. If he tried to look any deeper in himself the only thing we would find would be the rumbling of his stomach and it’s almost snickering like sounds, laughing mischievously and knowingly at his sarcastic line of questioning. Alastor reached over and closed the report he was reading from with a resounding thud, a look of accomplishment graced his face. The listeners were shocked with the news, seeing that the killer is still at large and could pounce on them or their loved ones at any moment. “Lock your doors and stay safe ladies and gentlemen! This concludes tonight’s broadcast. Oh oh! Almost forgot the regularly scheduled joke! Just to lighten the mood a bit. What happened when the cannibal was late for dinner? He got the cold shoulder! Ahahahahaha! See you tomorrow folks, stay safe!” He said brightly as he ended his radio broadcast, turning off his equipment and microphone.

The streets were full of Ebullience and joyful spirit. The year was 1933. New Orleans, Louisiana was really quite a marvelous and interesting place to live. Alastor McCarthy walked down the sidewalk in his clean white shirt and suspenders, shoes polished so thoroughly you can see the bright sun and the blue sky reflecting off of it! All the Cadillacs and Buicks cruised down the smoothly paved road. Almost everyone in this town knew Alastor. And Alastor knew almost everyone just as well. The lovely people waved as they saw him walk by, and he of course would wave back with a friendly smile on his face. He was always smiling! One happy fellow indeed, everyone would imagine. He walked down the sidewalk with a pep in his step softly humming to the bustling jazz that played from the gramophones in the nearby shops. He was making his way home now, it was almost supper and he needed to help his mother prepare it! Oh yes, Alastor loved his mother dearly, she was a true light in his life. People like to tease him sometimes and call him somewhat of a mama's boy. He would be lying if he protested this though. He truly loved his mother. His father, however, he did not. Just the thought of him made Alastors smile falter, just a smidge. He was a real goof, and a drunk. Alastor despised him, but only put up with him because his mother still loved him. Alastor could never see what an amazing woman like herself could ever find in a hunk of junk like him.

The noise of the streets died down as he started to approach his neighborhood. The walk from the radio station to his house was only a 30 minute or so walk. He figured it was good exercise and also an efficient way to build up his appetite. When Alastor wasn’t doing his radio broadcasts, he would find himself hunting deer in the nearby bayou. His father showed him how to hunt when he was a young boy. He had mastered the art of hunting and butchering the creatures he captured. Whether it be deer, rabbit, boar… human. His mother taught him the culinary arts, which he soon too mastered. He would help his mother prepare jambalaya, his favorite dish, when he was younger. He reminisced about those good ol’ days. Well, most of it at least. He had finally arrived home.

“Hello mother! Father.” He called out into the calm house. He took his shoes off and saw his mother appear from the kitchen.

“Oh! Alastor, how I’ve missed you dear.” She said lovingly as she ran toward Alastor to hug him. “How was your day? Anything exciting happening down in that ol’ radio station? I completely forgot to tune in today. Silly me. Apologies!”

“No need mother, it was just business as usual, quite copacetic! We had our top music hits and, well, a quite shocking report on the bayou killer.” Alastor explained

“Oh? Was he murdered? Oh oh! Caught by the fuzz? Hot dawg!” She exclaimed in excitement.

“...No mother, he was not. Always jumping to conclusions! Ahahaha. My, that’s just like you!” He said. Her words pained him only in the slightest. She obviously disliked this killer. Yet she unknowingly loved this said killer more than anyone else. He felt a sick giddy because of this. Why, he found it quite humorous! How twisted. “He’s claimed his 11th victim, unfortunately.” He said with a softer voice.

“Oh dear… how horrible. I can’t believe he’s getting away with this! Someone has to stop him eventually.” She said with sadness in her eyes. Alastor didn’t like to see her like this, not ever!

“Yes I know, quite the tragedy I’m sure. I heard he was a rude man however, a real dewdropper as some may say! The man had nothing going for him anyways.” He explained, or rather explained himself, for that matter.

“Darlene, when the hell is that dinner going to be finished?” Gus, Alastors father, yelled from the living room couch. He had just finished his twelfth beer of the day. Alastor could hear the subtle clinks of the glass bottle against the cup holder. Indicating that yes, he had indeed gotten drunk again.

“It’ll be ready in about half an hour dear!” She yelled back, Completely forgetting about the news of the bayou killer. An audible groan sounded from the living room in response.

“Alastor, would you be a dear and help me peel the potatoes for dinner?” She questioned

“Of course mother! Let’s get started then shall we?” Alastor asked joyfully.

Once dinner was prepared and the table was set, Alastor’s mother called for Gus to come and eat. Another audible groan sounded from the living room as Gus managed to stand up, very blotto from all his drinks. Without anyone seeing, Alastor was quick to drop a pill into Gus’s drink at the table. He then turned away and started to whistle an innocent jazz tune.

“Oh, Alastor, I almost forgot about the pie in the oven. Would you mind taking it out for me and cutting it’s pieces?” She asked him kindly. Alastor responded with a quick ‘yep!’ and put on the oven mitts. He took the pie out and put it on the stove. He took his mitts off and placed them back on the counter, only to replace them with a knife. Without hesitation he stuck the knife into the steaming pie. It smelt like delicious baked cherries. The pie oozed red juice and covered the knife. He continued to cut even slices into the beautiful pie. He stared longingly at his work, admiring the precise cuts and the knife dripping red juice. He licked the knife clean and saw his father's reflection walking into the room when he looked at the knife. He stared for a moment, then put the knife into the sink. Gus finally arrived at the table as everyone sat down.

“So what do we have here?” Gus questioned as he occasionally hiccuped. He had messy black hair and his eyes were half lidded. He wore a black vest with his tie sloppily tied.

“Well I made venison, mashed potatoes, and beans for tonight. That damn venison was quite tricky to cook, but hopefully I got it just right.” She explained

“I’m sure it turned out great, mother.” He smiled at her. Alastor eyed his father as he sat down. Gus started digging in with the slightest amount of politeness. Hungrily shoving the food into his mouth. Alastor sighed and picked up his utensils to start eating.

“What is it boy? You’ve got something to say?” He snapped at Alastor. Glaring at him with whatever amount of sobriety he had left.

“No, sir.” Alastor responded while staring at his plate. He hated this. He hated his father and he hated how he treated both him and his mother. Not to mention how rude he was. All of the bayou killers victims reminded him of his father. What a coincidence huh? No, he chose them very carefully, and he planned out every bit of it. Every time he killed them he imagined as though the person was truly his father. It gave him satisfaction and it quenched his thirst, for the time being. But this thirst would always reappear. He could never get rid of it through these involuntary murders of his, and he knew this. He knew it would only be a matter of time before… he would claim his final victim. That’s all Alastor thought about when he looked his father in the eyes. The twelfth. The twelfth. The twelfth. The second full moon. It will complete his design.

“Whatever,” He sneered at Alastor. Gus downed his drink in a few gulps. Alastor watched with a smile. Then Gus began to cut into the venison, and suddenly there was an irritated look on his face. “This venison is overcooked.” He started while he looked up at Darlene.

“Oh, yes I was afraid that might happen…” Darlene quietly said with a look of disappointment appearing on her face.

“Isn’t that just perfect? Maybe you should learn how to cook properly instead of having a gay ol’ time dancing swing like a flapper at the club down the road. Dumb-Dora can’t do anything right can you? Darlene was taken back by his sudden outburst. She apologized and told him it wouldn’t happen again with a tinge of fear spreading on her face and tears threatening to breach her eyes.

“Well, actually, I do have something to say,” Alastor said as he interrupted his mother’s apologies. “Maybe if you stopped getting bent everyday like a normal person, maybe people might actually like you! You’re such a flat tire and a real boozehound. You think it’s ok to treat us like this? For crying out loud you’ve been doing this for years! You just futz around and do whatever you want, when you want, and how you want!” Alastor exclaimed loudly at his father while eyeing him with a scornful look. He wasn’t going to let him talk to his mother that way, no sir! Enough was enough. Darlene looked at Alastor in shock. She really can’t believe he said that to him. A wave of panic hits her knowing what’s going to come next.

“Why, you little! How dare you talk to me like that? I come home after a long day and this is what I get? A cheap meal and a disrespectful family?” Gus’s voice grew louder and louder with every word he spoke. He pointed to Alastor. “You… I’ll wipe that stupid smile off your face permanently!” Gus stood up and walked over to Alastors side of the table. Alastor and Darlene stood up quickly, knowing this situation is about to become physical.

“Don’t you dare touch him!” Darlene shouted as she grabbed hold of Alastors arm. Alastor backed up while the adrenaline started coursing through his veins. Gus took hold of Darlene and threw her against the counter. She fell on the way down with a yelp hitting her head on the edge of the counter. Darlene’s vision started to blur and soon after she drifted into unconsciousness as she heard the faint yelling of Alastor.

“You absolute madman! Now look what you’ve done. You’re some real tough guy hm? Well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy my next show, you’re the super important participant, after all!” Alastor said with a growing smile. His creole accent slipping out for only a moment as he yelled. “Aren’t you excited?”

“What are you… talking about..?” Gus talked as his words became sloppy and quiet. The once calming and peaceful kitchen warping and turning in place as his vision grew cloudy and dark. His eyes lidded fully, the last thing he saw before he fell to the ground was Alastors prideful smile. Alastor thought Gus would pull something like this. All this commotion, that is. Yet it was in the back of his mind as was planning out his demise. He stared at Gus for a good while, lying there helplessly. Although this isn’t exactly how he planned it out, he was still ultimately satisfied with the outcome. That is, until he remembered his mother lying on the ground. Her nicely combed and silky brunette hair in a bun was now frizzing out everywhere, the bun loosened from the altercation. Her lids shielding her innocent blue eyes to what has become of her husband, and the truth of her faithful son. Alastor slowly picked her up and placed her on the couch. He took an ice pack from the kitchen and placed it on the noticeable bump on her forehead.

“Do wake up soon, won’t you?” He whispered to her. He kissed her forehead and made his way into the kitchen. He managed to pick his father up with a few strained breathes, grabbed the knife out of the sink, and walked out the backdoor.

It was about 8pm now, and the sun had already cast its final flare. Only to replace it, was a thoughtless moon. Alastor navigated his way throughout his backyard and soon into the bayou unseen. Gus remained unconscious and hung over Alastors shoulder. Once Alastor traversed deep enough into the bayou. He tied Gus up to an old bald cypress tree. It’s leaves spaced out enough to let the moonlight fall and flicker between them. A few moments later, Gus finally awoke to a conscious state. Confused and dazed to where he was, and how he got there.

“Hello lucky contestant! Welcome to my show!” Alastor exclaimed in a cheerful announcer voice.

“Al? Where.. where the hell am I?” He said in a choked voice. He tried to move his arms, but they were restrained by a tightly tied rope. “What the hell are you doing?” He said as his voice wavering. Alastor took out his knife and walked slowly up to Gus. Gus watched every little movement Alastor made, his adrenaline rising with each step.

“Oh you poor thing. Haven’t you realized what’s happening by now?” Alastor teased as he lunged playfully forward, causing Gus to gasp and defensively lean back in the tree. ‘How pathetic’ Alastor thought to himself. “What? Don’t tell me your giving me the cold shoulder! Ahahahahahaha!” Alastor laughed at his silly little inside joke. He lowered himself to Gus’s level on the ground and pointed the knife at his chest. “Boy that thing must be pounding! I think I’ll eat your heart first!” Alastor exclaimed once again. Gus’s face was pale with fear as the knife slowly etched its way inside of his chest, blood soaking his already stained shirt. He screamed in excruciating pain as Alastor carved all the way down to his waistline. Exposing his organs and blood to the everlasting moonlight. Gus writhed in pain as he looked Alastor in the eyes.

“Y-you…killed them?” Gus managed to choke out. Disbelief filled his eyes.

“Hmm? Oh! That’s correct!” Alastor said while he backed up, admiring his work. Alastor looked down at his hands and his cuffed sleeves. The blood dripping off of his hands was much more black then the usual dark red.

“My! The mother was right! Blood really does look black in the moonlight,” He said. His smile unwavering and as prominent as always. That was the last thing Gus saw as his vision started to melt away for the last time. Alastor kneeled beside Gus and pulled out his heart behind his rib cage. He took a big bite from it without hesitation, just like how one would eat an apple. He noted that it tasted almost the same as a deers.

Soon after, a sudden rush of panic struck Alastor as he heard a males voice calling close by. He quickly turned toward the sound and saw multiple men in the distance holding flashlights pointing in Alastors direction. He hopped to his feet in a frenzy and ran deeper into the bayou. It was dark and he could barely see where he was running, but all he knew was that he needed to get away. It was only a matter of time the cops had found him. The pattern was quite obvious, Alastor knew. Yet, he thought it was orderly and scheduled, and that was something he’s always taken to heart. As he was running, he recalled his fondest memories and previous murders as the cops chased him on his tail. He knew this was it for him, unless he could throw them off somehow. Quickly, he noticed out of the corner of his eye a figure. It was a lone deer. It looked him in the eye without movement. The deer eyed him knowingly. The full moon shining between its broad antlers.

Suddenly, the night and day remembered how they came to be. Alastor glared back at this deer, his smile wavering as he was shot dead in the forehead with a rifle. He fell to the ground as his smile fell completely. A hunter had missed the deer, accidentally shooting Alastor killing him instantly. Surely it was too dark for the hunter to have seen him. There was no hope for him. Then, the deer quickly ran off into the deep bayou startled from the shadow of nobody there.

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Reading Area #1 (1/18/2021)

Click here if you’re like “What the heck is this about?”

Valera @autokrates joins Kyxs @usedhearts while reading in the library and pulls out some tea. They hang out and chat about, among other things, Kyxs's death, magic, weird inhuman reproduction, and alien/infernal politics.

Kyxs

Books always attracted him, like a fly to honey, and so it's no wonder that he finally ends up in the library. Most of the volumes on the shelves, he couldn't even read the titles of, but he'd found a nice sci-fi novel in a shelf and sat down with that, just casually flipping through it and skimming.

Valera

Hope Kyxs didn't think he'd get alone time, even in an estate big enough to get lost in. Here comes Valera, a leather bound alien text shoved under one arm, the other holding an oversized mug of tea. To their credit, they offer a little murbling trill in greeting before taking a seat across the way from him in a piled up coil of tail and armchair cushions hidden under a throw blanket. Ohoho, this fish is ready to get COZY.

Kyxs

He looked up with a blink when she entered, but smiled her way. He slowly shut his book and held it in his lap.

"Hey, Val, haven't had a chance to see you yet, nor a chance to thank you for inviting me along. This--" He gestured around them. "Is way better than being in a bunker waiting things out. I'm having a blast."

Valera

"So I can imagine!" They grin, then cock their head to the side and rearrange themselves so they can lean in to get a closer look at their guest.

"Extermination day is your..." Ahem. "*Death Day,* right?" They sound it out carefully, a clear division between two words that didn't belong together in their mind. "Happy Death Day, Kyxs. I hope you've been able to enjoy this one more than the last."

Kyxs

He chuckled, giving a nod. "It is, and thanks. Yeah, usually I have a drink of whiskey with Alastor and listen to the radio waves through the extermination and that's all. Having mixed drinks with my boyfriend and hanging out on a beach side island mansion? Maaaajor upgrade."

Kyxs laughed a little more. "So, still weird to know that we're all dead humans, huh?"

Valera

"Very." They snort, turning to put their tea on the end table next to their chair. "I've seen plenty of humans die, but not as many start walking and talking in new form right afterwards."

They tap the edge of their book, humming as they watch him. "I'm glad I could provide a change of pace for you and yours. I almost didn't offer! I thought it might be too forward with how little we actually know each other, and I'm a TERRIBLE judge on how humans or ex-humans will respond to... Anything, honestly."

Kyxs

"Well, I'm glad you did." He shrugged a bit, leaning his elbow on the arm of his chair.

"Y'know what the worst part of arriving in Hell is? The drop. One minute, you're dying peacefully, and then next--" They lift a hand, making a motion with a finger like something falling. A cartoon sound effect of falling and then a comedic smacking sound play on the air. It's as smooch as any Alastor's effects, but it's clear he's been practicing with the noises.

"You're falling and splatting on the ground. I had the unlucky fortune to do that a few scant minutes before the Extermination kicked off for that year, and as jarring as it is to just fall in, falling in on Extermination day is worse."

Valera

A frown. "I'm surprised you survived. Well, I mean.."  A dip of the head. "You *didn't*, obviously. But you didn't *double* die. How did

freshly fallen sinner not immediately get exterminated? You'd have been a walking target!"

Kyxs

"Simple: Alastor. He was waiting for me when I dropped in, immediately got me up and rushed me to a bunker. Didn't even ask anything of me until after the Extermination." He shrugged a bit.

"Without him, I'd have been double dead for sure."

Valera

"Ah. Must have been a fan of your work." They're just going to take a sip of their tea, don't mind them. They know you, sad radio boy.

Kyxs

His mouth snapped shut, but his expression is a familiar static smile. Kyxs takes a moment to blink and then take a breath, relaxing. He just had to remind himself that they were an alien, maybe they wouldn't judge him like other humans would?

"....Yeah. He was. He followed me, listening in via the radios around me, watching what I was doing. Said he liked my style, but that I could have more flair, more power. Offered to teach me, if I worked for him in exchange. I took the deal." He tries his best to act casual, but his next shrug is a little too stiff.

Valera

They watch him stiffen up, and roll their eyes at his carefully manufactured casual mannerisms. "Here's a little tip from your local theater major, kid. Alastor can get away with the stiffly smiling puppet man act because that's how he *always* is. If you flip the switch on suddenly, everyone is going to notice and be on edge."

Ssssip. Mm, good tea. "Anyway. Making a Deal with Alastor was stupid, obviously, but I'm glad it's working out."

Kyxs

He sighed. "I know, I'm working on it. I only have high school theater to rely on." He laughed, crossing his legs.

"Eh, not as stupid as some people might think. Alastor's actually reasonable, mostly. If he respects you, which I was fortunate enough to earn by my actions in life. He'll give you good terms then, but if you're an idiot and act like one around him, well..." He trailed off and shrugged.

Valera

"Earning his respect doesn't seem that hard... Unless you also want him to fear you just a bit." They grin, all teeth.

"Not that I'd know. I have *no* idea if any Alastors out there respect me. But I do have things they want, and that's good enough. The only ones I make deals with are the ones I know have a vested interest in my survival."

Kyxs

"I don't know about that, there's not much Alastor fears." He took a breath, his hand playing with the pages of the shut book on his lap.

"Which ones are vested in your survival? Or are you not allowed to say?"

Valera

"I disagree MOST heartily, dear boy! There's plenty he fears. But if you haven't figured out what yet, I'm certainly not going to tell you and ruin his fun!" They crack their book open, setting it in their lap as they tug the throw up over their shoulders. Hoohoo cozy time.

"I could tell you specifics, but I wouldn't benefit from you knowing. Suffice to say, the ones that like going to Earth for visits or ingredients make an effort to keep in my good graces. Free rides are hard to come by."

Kyxs

He nodded. "True, I don't know much about what other Alastors fear, only the one I know. Who can say which ones of them have the same fears?"

He leaned over, tilting his head to try and get a peek at her book. "What're you reading?"

Valera

A few seconds of watching him crane his neck, and they obligingly turn the book sideways so he can see text he absolutely can't understand. It was reflex, don't question it too much.

"This? Nothing special, really. It's a book on chronomancy, time manipulation and the like. This one is about creating pockets of reality where time is dilated. Not terribly useful to me, but I like to study the basics of anything I can."

Kyxs

She was right, he could't read it, but he enjoyed being able to see the script, it looked nice. That explination flew over his head, though, and he blinked. "Soooo, time travel? What's.....time dilation?"

Valera

"Time dilation is.." They pull the book back, brows furrowing. "To simplify it to an absurd degree, time dilation is where time slows down. So this teaches you the theory behind creating pockets of space where time slows to a crawl relative to the world outside of it."

Kyxs

"Think I read a fantasy western where someone could do that. Had to burn a metal with Allomancy to do it, though." He chuckled. "But that's....neat? Is that something you can do?"

Valera

"Oh yeah, totally." They toss the book at Kyxs, watching as it freezes in midair, then seems to fall in slow motion.

"I already learned how to break this kind of magic at its zenith, but I did it with brute force. I'm studying the theory to learn how to pick it apart instead of just smashing it with a metaphorical hammer. Because eventually I wont be able to just" here they whip out the airquotes, voice turning exasperated "'orbital drop kick' my way to victory."

Kyxs

Kyxs blinked as the book froze and watched as it kept slowly moving towards him.

"Orbital drop kick, huh? So you got a lot of raw power but no finesse?"

Valera

"Oh, uh. Yeah." They roll their eyes, reaching out to pluck the book from the air before it went too far.

"I ruin a lot of things, losing control of spells. There's actually a spot in one of my off planet estates that infinitely spawns chickens because I overcharged one part of a time weave." A pause. "So if you're ever hungry, paradox chicken is cheap."

Kyxs

Kyxs blinked again, and then laughed, putting his face in his hand. "Paradox chicken?"

He lifted his head and, still giggling, continued. "So, is it just a planet of chickens now, or do they disappear after a while?"

Valera

They snort, waving a hand dismissively as they settle back into their coils. "I put a portal underneath the point that whisks them away to a processing facility. But it sure LOOKED like it was going to turn into a chicken planet for a while there. I didn't exactly have a response plan ready for *an endless flood of chickens*."

Kyxs

"Endless chickens. You could solve world hunger-- or actually, ALL worlds hunger." He laughed again.

"Okay, what else have you fucked up magically?" He looks legitimately excited by this.

Valera

They sniff. "Oh you want to hear about all my FAILURES huh? Not my dazzling successes? I broke an entire MOON out of a time freeze you know!"

A moment, and then they drop the act, grinning again. "Veci learn to channel our magic through boards carved with symbols. They're rigidly designed and have a bunch of redundancies to keep dumbass kids from hurting themselves. They do all sorts of things, and ONLY those things. So I, of course, wired a bunch of them together and powered them all at once."

A long sigh. "Long story short, the whole kit and kaboodle went flying off into low orbit and is probably still going."

Kyxs

Kyxs laughed, harder this time. "Oh my god! Just bam, zoom! Off it goes! That's incredible."

He sighed and wiped at his eye. "Reminds me of when Alastor started teaching me magic-- nearly broke every piece of radio equipment I touched."

Valera

His host watches him, fins twitching as they hold their mug of tea in cupped hands. "Aw, hatchling's growing pains. I assume you've gotten better control since then?"

Kyxs

"Oh yeah, a lot better. I still don't have the simple finesse and control that Alastor does, but I'm also not a full fledged radio demon yet." He shrugged.

"I still have to concentrate for stuff that comes naturally to Alastor." To prove his point, an audience gave sporadic clapping after he spoke and he sighed.

"Like that. Still need to whip my audience into shape."

Valera

"So I've heard! You don't inspire the same fear, but you also didn't exactly spring into Hell fully formed and blasting Overlords with unfathomable power. Or whatever. I wasn't there for it, I'm sure his manifestation was greatly exaggerated."

Kyxs

Kyxs rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged a bit. "I dunno, I've looked into it, quite a bit, and most reports are shockingly accurate from what I can tell. Alastor doesn't like to talk about the specifics a lot, though. But he did kill just...a whole fuckton of sinners."

Valera

They shrug. "Sinners die all the time. But we're focusing on you here. Do you MIND that people aren't as afraid of you?"

Kyxs

"Not really? Like everyone's _so_ afraid of Alastor that he can't do much of anything without people running in terror. I can go places and do things on his behalf and even then people won't just up and run because of my mere presence. Being feared to that extent's gotta be tiring." He shrugs back.

Valera

Sip-- Oh, they're out of tea. Ah well. "Speaking from experience? Exhausting. Especially for someone who was previous used to being well liked. You should feel bad for him, but only a little. He did choose to do all that murder after all."

Kyxs

His head tilted, looking curious. "People feared you? Like they do Alastor? But....you're so nice?" His bright green eyes squinted.

"Though considering you can make a chicken paradox, I guess getting on your bad side is a bad idea."

Valera

Well, if he's going to say his piece.. They carefully set the empty mug aside, face blandly neutral as they speak.

"I was thrust into power at twenty years of age, unprepared and terrified. When people attacked me, I responded in turn. When their families protested, I held public executions, to prove a point. A plot of treason? I strung their bodies up for everyone to see!"

A shrug. "Once people see you pull the trigger on an entire city in response to something they did, they realize what they're trying to fight against only gets worse every time they try to put it down."

Kyxs

"Oh geez." Their eyes widen with each word and they look away, elbows on their knees and hands covering their mouth.

After Valera was done, they were quiet a moment. "Yeah, that'd do it," They muttered.

Kyxs sat back up, leaning back in their chair, arms crossing over their stomach. "I killed my father and brother. They were both my first victims. And then I went off and killed a lot of other people. Not a whole city's worth, but for one person just on their own? I killed a lot."

They shrugged. "I keep that under wraps for most of Hell, on Alastor's advice. Thought since you shared...." They shrugged.

Valera

What a strange heart to heart this is. They'd hesitate to call Kyxs anything more than a maybe-friend, but.. He tries. They offer a smile, one side crooked higher than the other.

"Weird that he'd tell you to keep a few murders under wraps, considering the circumstances! But I'm sure he had his reasons. Maybe keeping your victims from deciding to settle the score personally."

A beat. "Oh. I haven't done a widespread cull since I hit thirty, so don't... worry? I guess? I made a deal; ten years of compassion after ten years of cruelty. Six in now, and people have gotten comfortable enough to insult me to my face."

Kyxs

"I think it's less about the murders themselves and more me being a serial killer and all the media coverage I had before I died. Some people in Hell go real hard for true crime shit and have no qualms about stalking you." He laughed softly.

Kyxs's head titled, curious. "What happens when the ten years are up? Will you go back to doing stuff like that or do you think your decade of compassion's changed you enough to not do it again?"

Valera

"Figures, even in Hell where killers are in spitting distance on any given street corner, the big names still get creepy fans. Ever had people ring into the station over you yet?"

The question catches their attention, eyes alight with mischief. "I'd started to find the devotion to compassion rather boring, but then it lead me to Pentious. I _like_ being attentive with him. Making him happy makes _me_ happy. It's pleasant! And weird!"

They magic up fresh tea, offering a duplicate mug to Kyxs. "In four years time, I'll likely have young children to worry about. Another thing I never expected. So.. The best answer I can give is.. I don't know! This year alone has upset my status quo immensely."

Kyxs

He laughed, shaking his head. "No, thankfully. It helps that Kyxs isn't the name I went by when I was up top. I _do_ get people calling in thirsty as fuck for Alastor, though. In a variety of ways."

Kyxs shuddered a bit, and then grinned.

"Oh yeah, love can do that. Having someone to share things with is just really nice. Whether it's a friend or a significant other, it's really nice just being around people you like and care about."

He blinked and tilted his head. "Kids? With....Pentious? I thought sinners were sterile?"

Valera

"You are." They go back to cupping their drink. Time for more explaining! "Veci can reproduce with anything that has a soul. Sinners like you and Pentious ARE souls, condemned to Hell for your sins in life."

A pleased hum.. And then they snort. "Before you ask, yes I'm sure it works, and I've got the embarrassing story about Alastor being my midwife to prove it."

Kyxs

He blinks again at that and finally takes a sip of the tea she'd given him.

"Ah, hm, I don't think I want to hear that story yet. I don't think I'm mentally prepared." He chuckled. "But that's really interesting. Is it cause your people are so much more magically inclined?"

Valera

"You will never be mentally prepared. And if you ever are, you'll have better luck asking Angel. He was there too." A dainty wrist to their forehead, and they sigh dramatically. "My BEAUTIFUL spusband, my knight in SHINING armor.."

But no, Kyxs was NOT ready to hear the story, and Valera was not about to share it. Instead they grin over their tea, mischief in their eyes. "To answer your question. Yes and no. We're very magically inclined, but we're also genetically all over the place, compared to humans. For example, I bet you had two genetic donors, both normal husband, and you came out looking like either of them. "

Kyxs

Another rapid set of blinks. This converstation really was getting a lot of those out of him. "Angel was there?" He grinned at her display. "Well, that explains everything, he's definitely a knight in shinning armor."

He nods, very seriously, yes absolutely, knight in shinning armor.

"Yeah, that's pretty much how humans do it. Two parents, both equal in indignity." He snorted into his tea as he took another sip.

Valera

Oh no, there they go back into their dramatic swoon. "Of course Angel was there! He was the one whisking me away once things started happening, the one right by my side through thick and thin!"

And cue another sigh, flowery as you please. Then they snap back to normal, chinhanding at Kyxs. "I've got seven parents. All genetically related to me. Though the indignity stands, anyone who thinks reproduction is beautiful is wrong, and worse, they're stupid."

Kyxs

More blinking! His eyelids are going to get tired at this rate. "Seven? If it's not too weird to ask, how?? I only know about human biology, so forgive the ignorance."

He was trying very hard to not giggle as he took yet another sip of tea.

Valera

Kyxs' eyelids were going to be so buff by the time this was over. "Well, in MY case the genes were harvested and then patched together in a controlled environment. Yes, that's right darling... I'm DESIGNER." Hairflip. Anyway.

"But it CAN happen naturally. The optimum mating period is fairly generous, as long as there's enough.. traits.. mixed in there by the time the shop closes, the results can be any mix of the parents... Or you just do it magically. We've got spells to avoid the sexual part of reproduction entirely. Options are out there, suffice to say."

Kyxs

He gives a BIG laugh at the hairflip. That was a good one, tickled his funnybone something good.

"I see. That's really cool. So like, anyone can have a kid if they want, I guess the opposite is true too? Like there's probably magical contraception and all that?"

Valera

Good, they live to entertain!

"Of course! I just use the standard non magical medical solutions. Keeps me from having weird magic interactions!"

Kyxs

Kyxs laughed again. "Oh God what kind of weird magical reactions can they cause?"

Valera

"I mean, I laid three eggs. So failure is a common one." They roll their eyes. "No, I know what you want. Sometimes you change colors if your contraceptive doesn't mesh well with your magic. Or you can turn sparkly."

Kyxs

"_Sparkly?_" Their eyes get real big for a moment there. "Man, I want weird magical reactions that turn people sparkly to exist in Hell that sounds funny as fuck."

They laughed and set their empty cup aside. "I take it yours meshes, though-- or are you normally blue?" Kyxs smirked.

Valera

"I hatched *red,* actually." They flutter their lashes... Then snort and shake their head. "That's true, but misleading. Veci change colors as they grow up fairly frequently, nothing to do with contraceptives. No, I use regular old injections, good for six months at a time. Though my old magical one would sometimes make my horns get blue speckles. As far as side effects, it was pretty harmless!"

Now it's their turn to lean in, eyebrow raising. "You've asked *me* a bunch of questions, but what about you? Any magical contraceptives on your side of things, Kyxs?"

Kyxs

Oh, the blinking time is back, that's good. He laughed after, shaking his head.

"Oh, no, not that I know of. Sinners being sterile and all there's no real need for injections? I don't know what's up with the Hellborns though, so maybe they got some." He shrugged.

Valera

"Oh, boo. Though the idea of Hellborns making minor contracts with...." They trail off, leaning back in their seat.

"Oh my gods. Do they make deals with Stolas? No, no... Unless they were trading for information on contraceptive *herbs*. No, they'd go to Gaap, probably? He's the prince who rules over that sort of thing, if my memory serves. I haven't brushed up on my knowledge of demons in *years*." Plus Gaap was the one that Alastor had called on for them.. They should send a gift basket.

Kyxs

"I've been lacking in my demon studies, honestly. I know about Prince Stolas, but Gaap's not familiar to me? Is he a Duke or...?" He trailed off, shifting to tuck his feet under him on the chair.

Valera

"He's a prince, same as Stolas. Though, that's assuming your Hell works the same as some of the others I've been to. I'd honestly suggest you do your own research when you get home, if possible. Though if you want, I could ask Stolas when I see him on our coffee date." They shuffle deeper into their blankets.

"Do you want a refill on the tea, or is that enough for you?"

Kyxs

"Oh! Yeah a refill would be nice." He picked up his empty cup to hand over.

"Yeah I should. I need to be in the know more when it comes to Hellborns rather than just sinner Overlords."

Valera

A twitch of their fin, and his tea is refilled. Who needs TEAPOTS when you've got MAGIC ~~and a teapot and tea cabinet in the kitchen you can draw boiling water and leaves from~~?

"Indeed! Though, really I should as well. If I'm going to marry a man aspiring to conquer, I need to learn everything I can to help support him in his efforts. His greatest enemies, possible allies, how to manage them.. You know. Political stuff."

Kyxs

He takes a sip of the new tea. Ah yes tasty.

"Yeah, I've been putting it off a lot because of the politics. But considering I'm bound to the Radio Demon, and he's working with the Princess, maybe it's a good idea to look more into things."

Valera

"Take it from a politician. Politics are the worst and I hate them. Death to politics as we know it can't come soon enough." A heaving sigh.

"It sounds like a good idea. If you're going to help your boss, you need to know what you're doing. If I'm going to help my husband, so do I. We're together in misery!"

Kyxs

"Yay!" Kyxs gave a little fake cheer and then laughed.

"Well, as they say, misery loves company." He gave a shrug. "But you said you were planning on having coffee with Prince Stolas? Swanky." He laughed a little.

Valera

They groan, nearly vanishing into their own coils as they slowly place their book over their face. Politicsssssss....

Oh, right. Stolas. They remain exactly as they are, voice muffled but much more cheery. "We're going to meet up and swap parenting tips over iced coffee! He seems lovely, so I'm looking forward to it."

Kyxs

"That sounds so wholesome for a chat with a Prince of Hell." Kyxs couldn't help another giggle.

"Then again, Hellborns are a lot different from sinners. Who's to say they can't be wholesome?"

Valera

They wave a hand, vague and airy. "Parents operate on a higher frequency. We make eye contact and a bond is established. In that moment, we are allies in exasperation and adoration for the weird tiny people we're stuck with."

The book is brought down far enough to peek their third eye over at Kyxs, surprise tinging their voice. "You've met Charlie, haven't you? She's a total sweetheart, and about as Hellborn as it gets."

Kyxs

"Oh yeah! I have, she's really nice. I think my brain just slots her into her own category cause she's Princess." He shrugged again.

"She's very _very_ enthusiastic about things, which is really adorable. I really kinda wanna meet her parents just to see how they could've raised someone as sweet and compassionate in Hell of all places."

Valera

"You know, fair. She's certainly not like any other Hellborn out there, with that parentage." The royal baby, the little Angel of Hell. Poor Charlie.

And then her parents. Ugh. "I've heard very little about Charlotte's parents." They begin, carefully. "But I've heard nothing _good_ about them. I think Charlie's personality is her own doing."

Kyxs

"That's a fair point. I've heard things about Lucifer and Lilith, and none of it wasn't someone doing some ass kissing, sooo..." He snorted and shrugged again.

"It'd make sense if Charlie was mostly a self made Princess."

Valera

"Quite so, Kyxs." The book is finally pulled away, set on the table between them so Valera can have both hands free.

"Apologies, I didn't mean to derail the conversation. Was there anything in particular you wanted to discuss?"

Kyxs

"Oh, not really. I kinda like derailed converstations, makes it easier to go with the flow." He tilted his head.

"Alastor hasn't been any trouble has he? I mean, the one that's my boss, of course."

Valera

They stare at him, blank faced as they process his question. Alastor... Trouble... His *boss* Alastor.... Had he? Had he been trouble? Quick, brain, go evaluate a specific Alastor even though they all looked almost identical. Which one was his boss? Not Stick, right? No of course not. So that meant...

A few seconds of silence, and... "Oh! Not at all. He's lovely. A model guest. Good shot, too." Nailed it.

Kyxs

"Good shot?" His eyebrow raised and he lifted his cup for another sip of tea.

"What was he shooting?"

Valera

"Fish! We went speargun fishing together on the pier. It was very fun, he's good company." Oho, a purr from the fish, good job Alastor, wherever you are.

"I almost feel bad for worrying, all the Alastors have been behaving very well. So far."

Kyxs

"Oh never feel bad about worrying about Alastors making trouble. They'd never be rude, but I will say if they weren't your guests, they would be making a loooot more chaos than they are." He shook his head and smirked.

"Sometimes it's funny, sometimes....not so much."

Valera

They open their mouth to respond, then hesitate, tension tightening their shoulders. "Yes. Sometimes not so much is right."

... Not going to elaborate on that, Valera? No? Alright. "Well, with him at least, we managed to get along well enough with weapons in our hands! Always a good sign. Hopefully even when he isn't bound by his manners we'll muddle through, but we'll see."

Kyxs

"Well, if he didn't take a shot at you with a weapon in his hands, I'd say you're at least good in that he won't immediately kill you." He laughed again.

"I mean, not that he could? I think you'd be able to take anyone in Hell, honestly. Maybe not Lucifer himself, but you never know."

Valera

They grimace, shaking their head at the idea. "I could take Alastor in a fight, but I don't know about any Hellborn. And even if I *could* take them on, I wouldn't want to. Fighting is *stressful*."

Kyxs

He nodded and shrugged. "Fair enough, I haven't actually fought anyone else in Hell, so I don't even know what a big demon magical fight would be like."

Valera

"Oh, you haven't? Do you even know what you're truly capable of?" Now they're interested again.

"If you want to get an idea, I could always spar with one of my friends while you watched. Sparring is one thing, that's just playing."

Kyxs

"Not like, fully capable? I've gone into uhhh, my 'true' demon form a couple times but never to really fight? Or at least not anyone who was even near my level in terms of power." He used airquotes around the true part, and then shrugged.

"But I wouldn't say no to seeing some sparring, sounds fun."

Valera

"Sure! Probably not this time, but we can absolutely arrange something when less people are around to get in the crossfire."

They've abandoned the idea of reading by now, just a bundle of fish in a blanket sitting pretty.

"So, Kyxs. What do you want in Hell? You're stuck there theoretically forever, have you got a goal?"

Kyxs

They pondered that question for a bit, one clawed hand scratching at the base of one of their horns.

"Not really sure? Beyond like, doing the radio thing, learning from Alastor, and playing music, I don't have big overarching goals? I'm.... kind of content with that? Which is weird when you think about it, being content in Hell of all places but hey." They shrugged. "I'll take it."

Valera

"That might be for the best, honestly. But yeah, there's a pretty big flaw in Hell's design."

They shrug. "Humans can adapt to just about anything. That's your claim to fame. Give them eternity and they'll build civilizations, like they did on Earth, and like they did in Hell. Mediocre food? You get used to it."

Kyxs

Kyxs laughed. "Don't let Alastor hear you calling Earth food mediocre, he'll take that as a challenge."

He leaned back, tilting his head to stair up at the ceiling. "Kinda makes you wonder how Hell's supposed to be a punishment when it seems like more of the same. Maybe that _is_ the punishment? You think it's gonna be a change, but it's not. I dunno, I can't claim to know what God was thinking when he came up with it."

Valera

"Alastor can take it as a challenge, I've rarely had food from Earth that actually tasted good. It's not made for a Veci tongue to enjoy. If he thinks he can do better than all the other attempts, let him!" A snort, and then they shrug.

"I can't say much for your God, but they never struck me as the creative sort. Or as all knowing as they act. It's kind of embarrassing, like a kid who made a mess and then tries to hide it." They pause, raising an eyebrow. "Though of course, I get to say that because I'm an alien with gods I can punch in the face. Yours seems a bit loftier."

Kyxs

"Yeah, loftier." He rolled his eyes. "He's an asshole. Thought so when I was alive and still think so now. His sons aren't much better, any of em. Though," He giggles, "It does make me laugh that the family who where the biggest bible thumpers are the ones in Hell with me, the heathen, now."

Valera

Well that earns him a quizzical look. "What does that mean? What family?"

Kyxs

Kyxs winced a little and glanced away. "_My_ family. My uh brother and father. Huge Christian bible thumpers and yet," He giggled again. "They're both in Hell now too. Looks like all their hypocrisy got the best of them."

Valera

They scrunch their face like they just sucked a lemon, sinking further into their blanket. "Gods, I forget that people having families is *normal*. Sounds like yours wasn't great though. I take it you were responsible for their surprise entrances to Hell?"

Kyxs

"Yeah. Said earlier that I killed em, but yeah. Knife to the neck for dear old dad and just a bunch of stabs to the chest for big brother." His face also scrunched. "Really had hoped that they'd been exterminated."

Valera

"Well sure, but I don't know how much family you have. Had. Have?" Squint. "Either way, good riddance. Next round, just throw them into the street yourself. You want a problem solved, do it yourself and all that!"

Kyxs

"Easier said than done, I don't know where they hole up for the exterminations, and I doubt they'd let me in so that I _could_ toss them out." He shrugged. "Just have to find some other way, I guess."

Valera

Valera scoffs, pointing a finger at Kyxs. "You have a lot to learn, kid. I hope Alastor teaches you how to properly track a target by next extermination. It's all about networking with people who want to be in your good graces."

A dismissive toss of the head, and the fish rises to their feet. "Speaking of family we hate, though, I should check on my *own* brother to make sure he hasn't said anything stupid to any of my guests. I'll see you later, Kyxs."

Kyxs

"I know how to track people, they just have some...powerful friends." He sighed. When Val got up, he nodded.

"Brothers are the worst. Alright, see ya later then, Val."

He gave a little wave as she left.

[cateyeindark]

To be fair, Angel has always had a bit of affection for Alastor from the beginning, ignoring him is just one way Angel thinks he will protect himself and his heart. You know, Alastor was always a cunning devil, who knows the colorful flirting he left outside the door is just a prank, a bet with someone and when Angel says yes they would just burst out laughing at him. Angel never dared to think that that powerful Radio Demon could love someone like him, rather, Angel didn't think anyone loved him.

At that time, Angel was almost running away from everyone, and as everyone saw, ((at least in this AU)) the people around him treated him not badly, but Angel was always immersed in the thought of being pathetic and all of them just pitying him, and that they were laughing behind him. Bad time huh, what is more worse than "stress"? An omega is stress! And Angel thought he was deserved it, he kept running from Alastor to avoid the humiliating end he thought of himself.

And as we all know, Alastor never gives up, especially those related to his Angel. And when Angel realized that Alastor didn't give up, one night he called him up to the rooftop of the hotel, proved to give up and said okay then I lost I love you i head over heels with one of the most powerful Hell overlords bla bla well now where's your audience where's the laughter of a cheap whore's innocence, just hurry up im too busy with my whore-things.

In response to Angel's words, Alastor just stood still and his face stiffened, smiling like a tombstone, then he left immediately without saying a word, not returning to the hotel for 2 days, and Angel, his heart also broke into pieces as he thought he had broken the last chance to live in the dream of having his forbidden alpha, but he still tried to smile and said it would be better to live with reality. At least now both of them have returned to their previous lives, which have nothing to do with each other.

But that was what Angel thought, nobody thought after 2 days, Alastor appeared before Valentino's porn studio with "fawn mama" loud confession :) Everyone froze, and Velvet was the first to react, she said she could smell the pure keen from Alastor, besides the smell of alcohol and fresh blood, pure hunger, pure angry, and hopeless from a madness powerful Alpha like him, it can't be a lie. And Vox persuading Valention to let Angel go with "that buck" just before they lost a few fingers because of facing Alastor

As soon as Angel agreed to go with him, Alastor telep them both to his owm room at the hotel, a suite room located separately on the top floor. Here, they sat down to talk seriously, a lot of tears from both, their misunderstandings with the other, their sily efforts, their love, they talked a lot, a lot, til late at night and fell asleep together on the carpet next to the sofa.

Well actually Alastor did not really sleep, he just lay there quietly listening to the sound of Angel's breathing and the peaceful sleep of his love, to know that Angel was safe with no longer entangled in his arms.

It was the first time in both Alastor's life and after, his Alpha instinct felt pacific.

---

About their first date, after the night of their confession, Angel relaxed a lot with Alastor, and Radio Demon, he wasn't as hasty as before, though he still cared about his omega more than anything. Cups of creamy coffee with a lots of milk were placed on the table for Angel. The little notes reminded Angel to rest. The touch is small but always ensures Angel feels safe when they walk together because "accidentally" met on the street. little by little, until one day Alastor asked Angel if he wanted to have lunch with him, and when Angel said "like a date", he was a bit confused as to how to explain Angel just laughed and kissed his cheek, said why not.

Husk swore that day after Angel returned to his room to prepare, Alastor had nosebleeds with silly heart eyes.

The lunch at the bay restaurant was great that day. Angel wore a white dress and a wide-brimmed hat that made Alastor feel like a classic movie scene. Every employee who served them was beta because no one dared to break the mood of Radio Demon. Angel even took the initiative to sit close to him, his omega scent lovingly patting him when they eat together. They got interrupted for about 5 minutes because Rosie passed by with Mimzy and their shopping bags and she couldn't stop rubbing that these were the most romantic scenes she had been looking forward to after seeing through the so-called Gone with the Wind. ((Mimzy had tried her best to drag her away so the couple could continue dating, thank you Mimzy dear)).

Maybe for everyone, their first date might be a little too intimate, a lot of kisses, they sit closer to each other than usual, and Alastor seems strangely flirtatious. But please, they have waited decades to cherish their destiny.

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

Soulmate Shenanigans Five: The Order Of The Shenanigans

Hey! Guess who has returned? 

Me!

Just the March doing her prompt writing thing, as seen on previous episodes :)

Parts one, two, three, and four here!

Prompt #5

Any intense emotions your soulmate feels you will also experience

Warnings for kidnapping mention and gifted kid “potential” mention

Okay. Not going to lie, I kind of tweaked the concept, but I like how it turned out. The idea of the sides having sides in human AUs has been in my brain, and now it’s in yours!

World Building

At first, the symptoms of having a soulmate was seen as symptoms of witchcraft

It was a reasonable assumption to make, as seeing into someone’s head and emotions wasn’t really a thing that humans did. 

However, as the population grew and communication across the globe became a thing, the instances of people finding their soulmates grew as well, and not everyone could be a witch (or, if they were, being a witch was simply being human).

It took a while for the culture around soulmates to shift, but shift it did, and people eventually figured out “Oh, that person is my soulmate, not my eternal enemy that I need to destroy via my demonic powers, which I totally have”

But people’s minds are kind of a lot, and it’s hard to process it all.

So, in modern day, people have learned to separate the pieces of their soulmate’s personality that they get bombarded with into different pieces, or sides

The sides are Logic, Morality/Emotions, Creativity (with there sometimes being a divide between dark and light), Self-Preservation, and Anxiety.

Characters

Roman: Roman is looking forward to meeting his soulmate so much!

Just...later.

When he’s a famous writer and people know about him and he’s evened out his insecurities and he deserves them!

Being perfect for them is going to take work, but most people meet their soulmates over 30, so he’s got at least fifteen years to prepare.

Until then, he was working on his fantasy story and dreaming of the day he’d get published or get the lead in a school play.

The writing club had been his idea, so you could say that everything that happens in the story was his fault. He’d just wanted to be around people who liked the same things he liked!

Roman’s Sides, ranked in order of how much control they have:

Note: Names are hard. Aaaagh.

Magnus, his creativity, romance, passion, etcetera. Magnus is really the one who calls the shots around here. He’s just as goofy of a fifteen year old (if not more) as Roman, but he has the unenviable position of running a mind palace and being the ego of someone who hates himself.

This guy just wants to listen to Hamilton, but noooo, he had to have an evil reflection of himself and self-worth issues.

The Count, his self-preservation and pretty much Roman’s inner Roxie Hart/Velma Kelly. Randomly suggests poisoning their mortal enemies a lot (note: they don’t have mortal enemies). 

The most like canon Janus out of any of the self preservations, except instead of “we live in a society” it’s more “fuck it, we’re going to be *famous*!”

The other sides will pay him to stop saying, “that’s showbiz”

The Medic, his morality and emotions. Sort of has a medieval healer thing going on (which means herbs in a satchel, not plague doctor mask).

A lovely person on his own, but when he and The Guard team up, it’s ✨Guilt time!✨

He has the question of “Am I a terrible person?” on his hands, so...good luck to him. He’s trying to hold the five of them into a cohesive unit, but it’s hard!

The Guard, his fears and anxious thoughts. He has a shield and a spear, and is kind of dressed like a (dark and stormy) knight.

No one particularly likes him, but it’s his job to recognize The Shadow, so they all need him.

He hangs around on the outskirts of the mindscape, ever vigilant.

The Alchemist, his logic. No one listens to the voice of reason in this house. Al isn’t really a fan of this, and being Roman’s logic, he thinks that if he can find a way to prove himself it’ll turn out okay.

The Shadow, everything Magnus discarded. You could call him dark creativity, but he’s a lot more. 

They used to call him Rex, when they were kids.

Patton: Patton isn’t thrilled with having to move to a new school, but he’s keeping a positive attitude

The new town is creepy and making friends is harder than he thought, and he just wants to right a sappy love story about ghosts without feeling sad.

But if he keeps his chin up, he knows it’ll all be fine!

And hey, maybe he’ll find people who like him in this writing club thing!

Patton’s Sides, ranked in order of how much control they have: 

Patrick, his morality and emotions. Patrick feels all of the loneliness and desperation that Patton feels daily, but pretends he doesn’t feel it, since he has to be there for them!

Them meaning his family, meaning the rest of Patton’s mind, as well as Patton, since he’s kind of an older brother/role model to the guy.

Covering the full scope of human emotions isn’t great when the other half of your job is enforcing the sense of right and wrong (and the general consensus in Patton’s head is showing negative emotions = burden = wrong).

None of them can cook, but that won’t stop him from trying!

The Canary, his fears and anxious thoughts. Constantly popping up to remind everyone that they’re failing. It’s kind of his job.

Stress plays the piano when things get to be too much.

The Gardener, his creativity, romance, and passion. Conjures flowers a lot. Projects wishes for a soulmate into the sappy ghost love story, which he’s mostly in charge of writing.

Hasn’t split yet, but that’s mostly because nearly all of Patton’s negative impulses that would be considered “dark creativity” already come from The Miser.

Dr. Picani, his logical side. Knows everything about cartoons, and tries to be professional, but a complete sweetheart.

Secretly knows his name is Emile, but is waiting for the best moment to tell everyone.

The Miser, his self-preservation and deceitful side. No one’s a fan of him. Patrick is kind of his mortal nemesis (in the sense that Patrick claimed the title and he just kind of went along with it?)

Everyone else in the Pattonsphere refuses to curse, but he says many a “fuck” with ease

Trying to protect The Gardener from splitting by taking responsibility for most of the things a dark creativity would do.

Virgil: Virgil just didn’t want to join the yearbook committee. 

It was irrational, maybe, to have a deep rooted hatred of the yearbook committee. 

They were just trying to categorize things, design pages-it wasn’t malicious! 

And yet, being in that classroom and seeing Amelia’s dead eyes and smile near rang every alarm bell in his system, so he needed a way out this year.

His parents weren’t going to let him not choose an activity, so he flipped a coin and ended up in some writing club.

He came into the club determined to fake some pretentious poetry about death. Just because they say the club’s about expression or whatever doesn’t mean that they can know anything about his comics.

Virgil’s Sides, ranked in order of how much control they have: 

Dante, his fears and anxious thoughts. Dante has too many eyes. Dante is lowkey a cryptid, but he’s sadly a cryptid in charge of life decisions.

There’s no way to dance around it. Dante’s a spider-human hybrid.

Dante would prefer they never be perceived by anyone for anything. He does not want to be seen, he does not want to be heard, he does not want to be perceived. Period. 

But he’s a very conspicuous spider-human hybrid. 

The Competent One, The One Who Can Actually Do Math, Steve, whatever you want to call him, he’s Virgil’s logical side.

His theories are just....

See that image? That kind of sums up his characterization.

Parker, his creativity, romance, and heroic side. He’s the one who got them obsessed with comic books, and is trying to write his own. If people don’t like the comics, he’ll probably just start screaming and never stop

He gets the purple eyeshadow!

Remy, his self-preservation. He mainly just wants Virgil to just...rest

Nap. Sleep. Take a self-care day. This is Remy’s goal.

Also to continue to have the most style out of anyone in the Virgilsphere

Remy has a talent for never being anywhere at the right time, and then popping up at the worst moments, caffeine in hand.

Tam, his morality and emotions. The most into the emo phase out of any of them, since he feels all angst!

Sometimes just hovers and screams. Everyone’s pretty used to this.

Logan: Logan was trying to ignore the things he’d seen

Logan was a scientific guy. He knew that magic wasn’t real, that the fae were just stories.

So, clearly, the nightmarish things he’d seen that night were just that: nightmares. Just nightmares caused by stress over his academic struggles.

That was the immediate problem at hand: academic struggles. Logan was always the top of his class his whole life, and words like “gifted” were thrown around. Lately, however, things have been harder to keep up with and pay attention to, and it’s a bit of a mess.

Logan joined the writing club because he thought it might help him with English class, and he did like speculative fiction.

But, more importantly, he joined it because he thought it would be a simple task he could easily ace, so he wouldn’t have to keep being told that he wasn’t trying.

Logan’s Sides, ranked in order of how much control they have:

Mimir, his logical side. Mimir is pushing himself to take care of all academic matters and keep Logan afloat.

Mimir is over his head, but doesn’t really have anyone to talk to (or so he thinks), so he’s just putting Warby Parkers over his panic and faking cold distance to make everyone think he’s doing okay.

Alastor, his moral side. Half of his job is repressing Logan’s emotions, which isn’t a great thing to be doing, but he think he’s doing it for a good reason.

Kinda strict and blaming Mimir for everything going wrong. He does care about the others, he’s just bad at showing it.

Cassandros, his fears and anxious thoughts. 

This dude-

He’s basically just [puts feet on coffee table] “Hey, did you know everyone hates us?? I made a PowerPoint that proves it!”

He’ll get character development, though.

The Chessmaster, his overdramatic self-preservation.

Tries to be clever, walks into walls.

The Detective, his creative and fanciful side. He wants to swashbuckle, but instead he’s restrained to geometry. 

But now he has a project in the writing club! He has something to do!

And The Mad Scientist is trying to ruin it!

The Mad Scientist, Logan’s dark creativity.

They never used to care about the creative side one way or another. There was no need to make a dark side when it was already looked down upon.

Now, however, there are things in Logan’s mind that he’s trying not to think about, and so the Mad Scientist has joined the fray.

The Actual Plot

This is going to be an actual fic that I write. So, I’m not going to fill out the entire plot here.

I can, however say a few of the plot lines

Plot One: Everyone’s sides are in a state of constant screaming and must learn to communicate.

They also need to let their main guys figure out they have soulmates, because they’re all repressing that information for their own reasons.

Plot Two: LAMP in a writing club, falling in love and being disturbed by first drafts!

Plot Three: The fae are kidnapping people.

And everyone needs to get them to Stop.

I guess you could call this a trailer??

I JUST REALLY LIKE THIS IDEA

[exclipssesss]

You're perfect, no matter what he says about you. [x reader]

Headcanons of all my current fav characters from different fandoms. This was supposed to be something just to emotionally heal me. So this does kinda based off real life experience, except the part where the bois comfort me, man why can't i buy these guys in ebay as my legal husbands?

Characters involved: Alastor [Hazbin Hotel], Lafayette [Hamilton The Musical].

Would probabpy make part two with other characters uwu

Warnings: Cursing, Physical abuse, Parental abuse, The mention of Anxiety.

Summary: S/o never had a great relationship with their dad, and after another fight (which ended horribly wrong) someone decided to comfort them.

Alastor.

Hazbin Hotel.

You were in the Hotel, coolio. Basically you were chilling on the couch when suddenly you fell asleep, and after a few hours passed you woke up to find yourself in your room with blankets covering you, you were confused on how you get there.

You then get out of bed and noticed charlie calling you, probably a new demon that wanna check into the hotel.

You saw a demon that is kind of similar to you but wAy more big and looked kind of scary, he was holding a cigarette. At first you shrugged it off since having the same form of a demon can both mean you guys have made the same sin, or you are related.

You didn't really mind it at first until you asked him to sign in to the hotel, and he looked at you as if you're stupid. He laughed that everyone draws their attention to the both of you, you laughed with him to avoid being awkward.

"You do realize that i am nowhere wanting to go to this stupid ass hotel right? Pathetic, demons wanting to do some redemption just to go to heaven? They can't even take their own consequences of being a dick. Yeah no bitch, i ain't going to this hotel, especially if it filled with pussies"

You stumbled back, he was similar to you but is nothing like you. Yes you swore, a lot, but not this harsh. He basically scowls at you and you just gave him a light glare back. He didn't seem to notice it tho.

Then, it snapped inside your head. No wonder his voice was so familiar. You looked at him and took the chance to find out, if it is true, then you're probably double dead. But you convince yourself that even if he tries to hurt you, you were at the hotel, someone is bound to help you.

"Um, oh, i forgot to introduce myself.. I'm [Y/n] [L/n], nice to meet you.. Sir.."

And you were right. His eyes was wide for a second before it was replaced with disgust, he yanked your hand and you almost lost your balance.

"Of-fucking-course you are. Now wonder your voice reminds me of some bitch. No surprise seeing you here in hell tho, you were always nothing but a disappointment. Even god thinks so."

You basically trembled as eyes were sticking on both you and your "father". He then let's go of you harshly and you stumbled back before falling, demons around weren't helping either. Although some of them gave you pitiful looks, so you decided that maybe they just too scared to interfere. I mean, you would too.

"See? Pathetic. Even as a demon you're trash, and now you're trying to do this whole hotel thing? HahaA--"

Something pulled your dad back, and he was met by a pair of a sickeningly dark pair of eyes that you've known too well.

"Excuse me sir, but I'm pretty sure that that kind of behaviour is not allowed here."

Your "father" was surprised to see Hell's one of the most powerful demons defending you, he almost gives out a somewhat proud smirk, only for it to turn into a scoff. Thankfully, he was decent enough not to mess with Alastor, as he immediately got out the doors and hopefully not coming back.

"My dearest, are you alright?" oh and he comforts you throughout the day too, he almost swears to kill your dad (if that's even possible) but you immediately told him not to.

Either way, he is precious and would do anything for you. Would recommend getting yourself an Alastor, 10/10.

Marquis de Lafayette.

Hamilton: an American musical.

Hamiltime.

(I'm changing the writing style just becuz I'm in the mood)

You just got back from a long day hanging out with the Schuyler Sisters, and also the boys of course. Funnily enough, you and Peggy get along really well, and for the boys? Lafayette's definitely your favorite. Actually he's more than just your 'favorite', you're not even sure yourself, you just felt safe and nice inside when you're around him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

A familiar deep voice that you've been scared for so long spoke up, you stopped dead on your tracks, trying to look calm. You then turned around to be met with a pair of deadly sharp and dark eyes piercing through you, in which you quietly gulped in response.

"I'm sorry i came back late, dad. I was with the Schuyler Sisters and-"

"You really think I'll believe that lying mouth of yours?"

Those words caught you off guard since you are, for a fact, not lying. You really were with Angelica and the others, and so you gave him your 'what are you talking about?' face, and he did not like that. He approached you, and you slowly but surely walked backwards, in hopes of getting away from him. When he was only a few inches from you, he spoke up again.

"Don't you fucking lie to me, who was that man with you? Who the fuck was he?" His voice low with growl as he fixed his sight to yours. You took another gulp of your own spit as he was starting to push you into a corner.

"I wasn't lying! I really was with The Sisters, that boy is just one of ou-"

Slapped

You could feel the hot print on your left cheek as it was burning with pain from the sudden hit, you hold it with your arm. This time you had enough, it was enough living in a world where girls don't have any rights, and you were absolutely not gonna let this man use that against you. Even if he is your blood.

"I'll ask you again, and this time i want an answer, not a rambling about some nonsense you pulled out of your ass."

You looked at him dead in the eye before finally giving an answer.

"Marquis de Lafayette. There, you have it. May i go now?" You said with disgust and anger lacing in every word. This made your so called dad shut up, before forcefully yanked you away. You ran to your room and find yourself falling asleep while crying, at this point all you wanna do was die. With all the smell of cigarettes and alcohol, you basically almost puked, and you still can't believe your mom left you with him. When you woke up, you checked the time. 11:36. At this rate, you could barely sleep again, and you didn't want to be in a house with that jerk anyways, so a brilliant-yet-kinda-dumb idea came to mind. You got out of the house quietly, you didn't want to even try spending the night there anymore, and to be honest, you didn't know where to go.

You could visit the Schuyler Sisters, yes, but going to the Schuyler Mansion at this time of night? Maybe not. You couldn't go to one of the boys' house either, that's just weird. And you didn't want to look like slut. So your thoughts just came to that one place, the place you and the rest of the gang met. The place where you and Lafayette met. The bar. Plus it's open twenty/four hours so it's not like you'll be trespassing.

And so you did what you thought you did. You go there, at first you thought that you would probably be alone in the bar considering how late it is, and that's a good thing considering the red burning mark on your cheek haven't left yet. But nope. The bar was actually kinda noisy, you looked inside to see Alex and his friends there getting drunk, and so you tried to avoid eye contact and go back outside. Well that was your plan until a certain drunk frenchman called you out.

"Mon amie, (Y/n)! Why are you here at this time of night? A beautiful mademoiselle like you shouldn't do that~" Lafayette slurred almost every word as he is drunk. You stopped dead on your tracks and turned around to smile at them, using your hair to cover the bruises left on your cheek. As you looked closely, you could see that Alexander is probably the only sober one out of the group, and not actually drunk.

"Yeah (Y/n), why are you here? Oh, you can come join us if you want to." Alex, the only stable one at the moment continued.

"That's a great idea Al! Come, mon amie! I'll buy you a drink."

Lord tell me how to say no to this-- But seriously, you wanted to go so badly but you barely even could walk out the moment you saw that smile. And so you just had to walk back, which all the boys cheered on.

"What's wrong, (Y/n)? You're awfully quiet,"

"Yeah, most of the time you're basically the one who can't shut up."

"Yo, talk if you want a free booze."

And yet you kept silent, although a silent chuckle can be heard only by yourself did rang through your ears. The boys were starting to get worried, especially with your new hairdo that covered half of your face.

"Huh, someone's actually denying free booze, something is wrong" Hercules said as he rubbed his nonexistent beard, Laurens just tried to swipe your hair away but you quickly slapped his hands away as soon as it was near your face.

"Sheesh, no touching your new hair, i get it. No need to slap me for it." He said with almost looks like a pout, this time the frenchman was asking you questions, and you didn't want to answer. But in the same time, you don't have the heart to ignore him.

"(Y/n), please, tell me what's wrong.. Why are you covering your face?" and now, you also wanted to die. That face, that damned face, god why can't you just ignore it like anyone else's? You let out a sigh as you finally lets all those emotions loose. Tears were pouring down your face almost as fast as Hercules chugging down a beer, and you could barely took any control of them. You buried your face in Laff's shoulder, him petting your head as you realease all your burdens and tears at the same time. The others were stunned, but is confused on what to do, so they just wait for you to stop crying before saying anything that could make you more emotional, if that's even possible.

You wiped your tears, and when you go to wipe the remaining liquid on your left eyes, you unconsciously exposed the big red mark on your left cheek. Boy, little did you know that they'll immediately turn into interrogators in less than a minute.

"(Y/n). What is this?" Hercules' voice rang first with what seems like anger, second came Alex, with his voice that sounded way more than just 'worried'.

"Who the fuck did this?" He said as he tried to put your hair behind your ear, you avoided his touch and just sinks more into Lafayette's embrace, who's weirdly being quiet through this, although his gaze didn't seem to left you at all.

"(Y/n), Let us take a look. I can't believe someone actually did that to you." It's true, you never told anyone about your 'daddy issues', you didn't want to gain any pitty. Time went on and it's almost One AM now, Laff's gaze didn't seem to have left you, in fact, they were stern, it didn't helped the fact that he haven't said anything in the past hour.

You ended up getting cornered and so you told them, about everything that was happened last night. They. Were. Furious. It didn't surprise you though, if your friend were going through the same thing, you'd probably ready to murder someone too.

"(Y/n), does zis 'ave something to do with me?" You immediately flinched. The reason you were slapped was because you didn't want to tell your dad about Lafayette, and he basically could see it through you. He immediately cursed himself, blaming everything that he thought he did wrong. With a little explanation and help from Alex and the others, you got him to calm down and kissed him in his cheek. In which he responds with a blush acrossed his face.

In the end, Lafayette asked you to stay with him for a while and said it was "the least he could do." Basically you were treated like a princess, nothing major happened other than cuddles and venting, he would pat your head and hold you close when you started crying. Sometimes he would kiss your forehead and says sweet nothings to you. He insisted to sleep on the couch while you took the bed, and ever since, the guys would act like your brothers, especially Laurens and Mulligan, they would actually shower you with new dresses and act proud whenever you and Lafayette had "a step forward". (They became your personal wingmans too.)

Not long after, The schuylers took you in, or more like - dragged you in. Philip Schuyler had left the Mansion to his daughters, and so which give them the opportunity to make you their roommates. You four would just chill at night and trash talk your dad when wanted to. (courtesy of big sis Angie™).

Alex on the other hand, was determined to make your dad looked like a fool, even though you told him countless times that he didn't need to do that. He would write about your dad with headlines like "Man Treats Daughter Worse Than Slave" or something like that. In which you laughed about, somehow you still feel bad about the amount of hate your dad gives, but you also feel as if he deserves it for hitting you all those years.

The last but not least, Lafayette. The man asked you out after you moved with the Schuylers, he said he's lonely now that you're not with him and he missed you, he also said that was the time he realized he had feelings for you. You immediately said yes and have been courting with him ever since. Honestly he's just the embodiment of love and cuddles, and you love him for every support he gave you.

[hanasaku-shijin]

Hell Hath No Fury

Series: Hazbin Hotel

Characters: Charlie & Vaggie

Words: 2,040

Genres: Hurt/Comfort, Romance

A/N: Just a little something for after the pilot episode. God knows how long it'll be until we see more of this series, so just have this for now.

[Disclaimer: I do not own Hazbin Hotel.]

||  PATREON  ||  KO-FI  || COMMISSION INFO  ||

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Hell Hath No Fury

After all is said and done in terms of 'hiring the new staff' of their hotel that evening, Vaggie can't convince Charlie to break away from the sketchy-as-fuck demons quickly enough.

Charlie spends a good amount of time zipping around the place, asking everyone if they're 'okay' in their new surroundings, asking if there's anything they 'need,' and then quite literally singing the praises of all the amazing and incredible work they're going to accomplish together.

Vaggie stays back, arms crossed and eyes narrowed, muttering all the while. She keeps an eye on the lot of them, especially Alastor. For now, he doesn't seem to be doing anything more dangerous than making random demons appear for cleaning staff. But she still doesn't trust him, and she probably never will.

With Charlie bursting with so much energy and excitement, it takes Vaggie a good hour or so to finally grab ahold of her and remind her of the long day they've had; from the failure of the news interview to the present moment, it's been a lot.

She eventually coaxes her away from the so-called 'staff' and up to their room, reasoning with her that the literal Princess of Hell and head honcho around here needs to be well-rested and ready for anything. Charlie follows her, but not after waving exuberantly goodnight to all the others. She's humming and buzzing all the way up to their door, a dire contrast to Vaggie's silent, churning distrust.

Vaggie fishes out her room key and rattles the door open before stomping her way in, muttering nonstop. Their room is, of course, one of the best the somewhat-run-down hotel has to offer, with all the necessary furniture, a bathroom, and a sizable bed.

Vaggie crosses the room to the window, hoping some fresh air might help clear her bustling mind. But as soon as she jerks it open, a cloud of smog and cigarette smoke wafts in from who-knows-where and makes her gag. She slams the window shut again before storming over to her dresser, tearing off her clothes in exchange for her black-and-purple nightgown.

All the while, Charlie watches her. She's fallen silent now, her smile faded. She'd changed into her own pink nightgown quietly, leaving the dress shirt, pants, and overalls for tomorrow's laundry. Now, she sits on her side of the bed, knees pulled up to her chest and face half-buried in them as she watches her girlfriend hiss and curse.

Vaggie has been so consumed by her frustrations all evening long she hasn't calmed down for much longer than a second at a time. Her blood is boiling and her skin is crawling. Even now as she sits in front of the vanity, she yanks the brush through her hair and rips the pink ribbon out from the force of her motions, then angrily puts it back in and continues brushing.

She just doesn't like this. She'd barely liked the idea of rehabilitating Angel, but she really doesn't like having Alastor and all his creepy little henchmen scuttling around under their noses. She doesn't trust him one bit.

And what frustrates her even more is that she knows she wouldn't stand a chance against him if it ever came to an altercation. She'd seen his power with her own eyes tonight, how he'd summoned a massive demon out of literally nowhere.

She hates this. She hates that she knows she wouldn't be able to protect Charlie if push came to shove. All she wants is to keep her safe, and yet they'd just let one of the most dangerous and powerful demons in all of Hell into their front door. There's no way they can work with him, no way that he's actually on their side, no way they can-

"Vaggie…?"

The voice comes from behind her, small and timid. Vaggie pauses in her violent hair-brushing to actually look at her reflection in the mirror - fuming and ruffled like a madwoman. Behind her, huddled up on the bed, is a small pink bundle.

Vaggie drops her brush and whirls around instantly to face her. Charlie peeks up at her a little nervously.

"Are you… Are you still mad at me…?"

Vaggie honestly wishes she could wring her own neck right then and there. Because all this time, she's been cursing and slamming things around because she'd been worried about Charlie.

And yet, she's been the one worrying her the most.

Just like that - like someone had snapped their fingers and broken a curse - every drop of anger and frustration drains from Vaggie's body and mind when she sees Charlie looking so small and fretful.

The princess blinks, then looks away nervously.

"I-I mean, it's okay. I get it if you're still mad… You did specifically tell me not to let him in and I… did just that…"

Vaggie finally snaps herself out of her trance and makes her way over to the bed, crawling on slowly.

"Hey," she murmurs, much more gently than anything else she's said today. She reaches out to touch Charlie's shoulder softly, her tone quiet with apology. "I'm not mad at you, Charlie. I never was."

Charlie looks up at her a little hopefully, but also a little skeptically.

"Really? Cuz you seem kind of… pissed off…"

Vaggie wishes she could punch herself in the face.

"Gaah- I know, I know! But I'm not mad at you, Charlie! I swear! Cross my heart and hope to- Well, you know."

Charlie flashes her a cute little smile for the attempted joke. Vaggie smiles back. The only times she ever actually does smile are the times she's with her.

Charlie bites her lip, glancing first to the hand on her shoulder, then back up to Vaggie.

"So… you're really not mad at me…?"

Vaggie shakes her head in earnest.

"Of course not. I'm sorry if it seemed that way."

Charlie breathes a tiny sigh of relief, but she still has that nervous look wavering in her eyes.

"But you are unhappy with some of the decisions I've made, right?"

"Charlie…" Vaggie can't take it anymore. Seeing her like this is breaking her heart. She wraps her arms around her, resting her chin on top of her head. "You made whatever decisions you felt were right. You followed your instincts and your heart. You did what you felt was best for this hotel - for your dream. I could never be mad at you. Especially not for anything like that."

Charlie exhales, and it feels a little shaky. She looks up at her again, but the nervousness is gone now.

"Thanks, Vaggie."

Charlie reciprocates the embrace, wrapping both arms around her slowly and giving a good squeeze. Vaggie returns it with equal force. She lets her nails card through Charlie's hair, from the softer smoother side to the wavier side and all down her back. Charlie exhales again, nuzzling her face into Vaggie's shoulder.

"What a relief. I-I don't know what I'd do without you on my side, Vaggie. You're all I've got in the end…"

"Hey…" Vaggie eases her back a little, making sure Charlie is looking at her. "I am always on your side, you got that? No matter what. Even if Hell freezes over because of it, I don't give a crap. I'm standing with you, Charlie. Till the end, and whatever comes after that. And that's a promise." She dips down to kiss Charlie's lips sweetly. She feels her smile, feels that cute little poke of her fangs as she kisses back.

"Thanks, Vaggie." Charlie wipes her eyes that had nearly started to water. Her naturally-rosy cheeks seem a little puffier, as if she'd been crying when Vaggie couldn't see her. But she seems much better now with the misunderstanding cleared up. However, she still has questions. "So then, if you weren't mad at me, what's the matter? You've been huffy all night. No offense."

"None taken," Vaggie sighs. "You're right. I'm just… I don't know. I don't trust those guys, and I don't know what to do about it, that's all. I'm sorry it came off the wrong way, though. I didn't mean to make you upset."

"I know you didn't." Charlie wiggles up close to her again, maintaining their loose embrace as they lean back against the pillows. "But don't worry about those guys. I'll keep an eye on them, and if anything goes wrong, I'll… I'll use my authority as Princess of Hell to ban them from the hotel! I'll give them a restraining order! Sound good?"

Vaggie can't help but burst out laughing. Leave it to this girl to think a restraining order would be able to stop some of the most powerful demons in Hell from bothering them. It's comical, but it's so, so Charlie. Vaggie hugs her again.

"I love you, y'know that?"

Charlie giggles.

"I know." She reaches up to cup Vaggie's face in her hands and kisses her again. "I'm glad you're smiling again. It's been kind of a crazy day, and I know I caused you a lot of stress. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. You're just working toward making your dream come true, and I agreed I'd be in it for the long haul. Sorry I made you think I was mad at you."

"It's okay!" Charlie beams. "You just wanna protect me. I know that. I really can look out for myself, but… it's really nice to know you're looking out for me too. It feels… kinda nice knowing you'd get so mad for my sake."

Vaggie chuckles. "Well, you know what they say; 'Hell hath no fury like a woman whose girlfriend is working with some of the most annoying and dangerous demons to ever exist in order to run a soul-rehabilitation hotel.'"

Charlie bursts out laughing; light, childish, bubbly little giggles that would put any heavenly angel to shame.

Vaggie's heart throbs. In all the disgusting, vial, murderously-grotesque layers of shit piled on top of all nine circles of Hell, Charlie's heartfelt hope and purity really don't belong. She may have been born to the King and Queen of Hell themselves, but she was definitely an angel.

In all this violence and chaos and darkness, Charlie is the flicker of a single tiny light. In spite of everything she's been through, everything she's seen, her heart is still pure. She still believes in people - these people - which is something Vaggie pretty much stopped doing a long time ago. She doesn't believe in anyone else anymore. Only Charlie.

Pulling her princess into another firm hug, Vaggie lies them both down and pulls the blankets up. Charlie turns toward her fully, her slim form fitting perfectly against Vaggie's. She wraps her arms around Vaggie's torso and nestles her face into her neck, cuddling up like some cute puppy.

Vaggie hugs her shoulders, still petting idly through her soft fluffy hair. She can feel the flutter of Charlie's heartbeat against her chest, quick but steady, eager to make her dreams a reality. Vaggie swears she'll do whatever it takes to help her achieve that goal, even if it might mean overthrowing Hell itself.

It really might come to that one day, but before her mind can wander too much, Charlie's soft angelic voice brings her back to the present again.

"Goodnight, Vaggie. Thank you for everything. I mean it."

Vaggie might have the burning strength of a million demons when she's really furious, but all it takes is one word from Charlie to have her melting.

"Night, Charlie. I love you."

"Love you."

And it's only here - in this dusty little room in the hazbin hotel for violent addicts, insane murderers, and bloodthirsty demons - where Vaggie and Charlie can truly feel safest in each other's arms; where all the raging fires of Hell combined couldn't possibly be warmer than this.

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A/N: They’re literally the perfect dynamic right off the bat. Charlie is her angel, her light, her healing (or at least I think so). I’m a total sucker for the angry explosive person just melting and being soft for the optimistic pure-hearted wholesome character.

Gosh, the possibilities for this show and these two are endless. So many good and bad things could happen to them, and I honestly can't wait to see how it all goes.