#I considered adding some Wade/Logan dialogue at the end

[casualfruit]

Whoops, I kept writing until 2am

Uhhhhh anyway here's that Fast Car ficlet I promised @casscainsbiceps

Logan shouldn’t be driving. Sure, he could drink any human and a lot of mutants under the table, but tonight was intense even for him. 

He’d managed to buy a used car a few weeks earlier, and since then he’d mostly taken it to a bar that was far enough outside the city that Wade wasn’t likely to find him there. He’d told himself that he was weaning off the bottle, slowly decreasing his alcohol intake until he could function without it. It was a lie, of course; any fool could see that. Didn’t stop him from trying, though. 

Then she walked in and ruined everything.

He didn’t know her, and she didn’t know him. But her flowing red hair had tricked him, stopped his heart right in his chest and turned his blood to ice.

“Jean?” he’d said. She didn’t respond. That alone should have told him to drop it, but instead, like a complete idiot, he’d reached out and grabbed her arm. 

“Jean?” he repeated. “Jean, is that y—” 

She whipped around, startled and confused and definitely not Jean Grey. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “Thought you were someone else.” 

Not-Jean yanked her arm away with a look of disgust. Logan turned back to the counter, finished his beer, then flagged down the bartender and ordered three fingers of whiskey. Everything between the moment the glass touched his lips and the moment he jammed his keys into the ignition was a blur. 

The road had very few street lights; the moon offered little in the way of visibility. Logan was vaguely aware that he was drifting, but didn’t clock that his foot was pressing down on the gas harder than he meant to. That realization came when he went straight through a bend in the road and rammed into a tree at almost a hundred miles per hour. 

He sat there, unmoving, waiting for his brain to catch up and his heart to slow down. With shaking hands he put the car in reverse and tried to back out, but to no avail. He hadn’t even owned the thing for a full month before destroying it. He ripped out the steering wheel and flung it through the shattered windshield. 

God. Fucking. Damnit. 

He should call one of those not-quite-taxi cars—Uberlift, or whatever they were called. He always had trouble remembering the names of things in this universe. But first, he should definitely call a tow truck. 

A dull throbbing pain was building up behind his eyes as he pulled a piece of glass out of his forehead. Maybe he should just get Wade to pick him up instead. 

No. Fuck no. Absolutely not. He might be the Worst Wolverine, but he still had a shred of pride. He’d go on foot once he could walk in a straight line. In the meanwhile, he would just sit in the wreckage of his car and listen to the radio while he sobered up. Assuming it still worked—which, miraculously, it did. 

He must’ve hit the dashboard when he crashed, because the radio wasn’t set to his usual station. Instead of the pounding drums and harsh metal vocals he was used to, he was greeted by something else entirely. 

“You got a fast car,” came a soft voice, “I want a ticket to anywhere.” 

He reached for the radio dial, then paused. The warm bass notes melted like honey over the drums, gently flowing through the vocals and lead guitar. This wasn’t so bad. He sat back and closed his eyes. The singer continued on, telling a story about joining up with someone to escape a life she didn’t want—small, poor, static. He’d heard this story plenty of times before, but something about this version was different. It was captivating in a strange, solemn way.

He was actually starting to enjoy this. 

Then the fourth stanza began.

“You see my old man’s got a problem. He lives with the bottle, that’s the way it is.” 

Logan’s stomach twisted. This was not the kind of story he wanted to hear.

“He says his body’s too old for working. His body’s too young to look like his.”

How many more decades would it take for Logan’s body to look his age? He’d lived two hundred years, but he still looked fifty. Nothing about him had changed. Not his body, not his habits, not his self loathing. 

“My mama went off and left him 

She wanted more from life than he could give

I said, somebody's got to take care of him

So I quit school and that's what I did.”

Images of the woman from the bar flashed in his mind, but this time she had Jean’s face. What would the real Jean think, seeing him like that? He’d always been a drunk, but at least before he’d been a person. The only thing sitting in this car was an empty husk that reeked of booze. 

“You got a fast car. Is it fast enough so we can fly away?” the singer asked. “We gotta make a decision: leave tonight or live and die this way.” 

How many times had his family tried to tell him the same thing—and how many times had he ignored them until they gave up? It wasn’t just the reprimanding he’d hated; it was the genuine concern, the pity, that got under his skin. He hated being pitied more than anything else. At least, that’s what he had thought.

Suddenly the drums kicked up, drowning out his thoughts. 

“So I remember we were driving, driving in your car

Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk

City lights lay out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder

And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone…”

God, it was so hopeful it hurt. Logan couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt that kind of freedom. Maybe he never had. There was something else in the singer’s voice, something he couldn’t quite identify. It floated in the space between longing and giving up. It made his chest feel tight. 

“I know things will get better

You'll find work and I'll get promoted

We'll move out of the shelter

Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs.”

“Life ain’t like that, sweetheart,” he sneered. “It’s just one disappointment after the next.” Yet somehow, in spite of himself, he actually did feel some hope for the narrator. Her life didn’t have to go to shit the way his did. Maybe she still had a chance. 

The chorus came back, but something about it felt different, even though it was the exact same as before. Like the narrator’s dreams were being tempered—or tamped down—by reality. His eyes began to burn. 

“You got a fast car

I got a job that pays all our bills

You stay out drinking late at the bar

See more of your friends than you do of your kids.”

Resignation. That was the feeling. Tears began to slip out, one by one, leaving wet tracks down his face. If this girl couldn’t make it, what chance did he have? 

“I'd always hoped for better

Thought maybe together you and me would find it

I got no plans, I ain't going nowhere

So take your fast car and keep on driving.”

It was too much. He couldn’t breathe. Guilt was crushing his rib cage and flattening his lungs. After several excruciating seconds he managed to suck in a breath, only for it to come out as a gasping, heaving sob. Decades of grief poured out from him, burning his throat and eyes and skin. 

That was it. The dam had broken. Sobs turned into wails; wails faded into whimpers.

The chorus returned again, but now the sweet naivete of youth had turned as bitter as whiskey. There were no happy times to look forward to. The narrator had tried to take a different path, but it led her right back to the same dead end. As for Logan, all he’d found was that the bottom of a bottle tasted the same in this universe as it did in his own. 

He leaned forward and rested his head on the dashboard. It took a few deep breaths, but he managed to calm down just enough to hear the final lines of the song.

“You got a fast car. Is it fast enough so you can fly away?”

Please, God, make it stop.

“You gotta make a decision: leave tonight or live and die this way.” 

And just like that, it was over. 

Logan barely had time to process anything before the radio let out a horrendously loud record scratch, reminding all listeners that they were tuning into a station that made its money from advertisements. He skewered the radio with his claws before the DJ could get a word out. 

It had been a long time since anything had torn him apart like that. He was an open wound; bleeding and vulnerable. Wasn’t alcohol supposed to help wounds? 

“Not these ones,” he muttered. “Gotta let ‘em dry out.” 

He was so tired. Tired of drinking. Tired of crying. Tired of hating himself. He just wanted to fall asleep and wake up as a completely different person, unburdened by his past. Barring that, he wanted to go lie down somewhere that wasn’t the wreckage of a junky old car. 

Without any conscious thought, Logan’s hand pulled his phone out of his pocket and began dialing Wade’s number. His mouth, now fully disconnected from his brain, started fumbling through the lyrics of that song. Be someone, be someone, be someone…

He’d have to look it up and listen to it again.

This time he’d hear it sober. 

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 1 July 2019

Quick Bits:

Aero #1 is an impressive solo debut for the Chinese original heroine spinning out of War of the Realms: New Agents of Atlas in North America and her original stories published in China. The first story is an English adaptation of one originally published in Chinese from Zhou Liefen and Keng, with the adaptation by Greg Pak, letters by Joe Caramagna. The artwork from Keng is stunning. There’s also an original back-up from Pak, Pop Mhan, Federico Blee, and Caramagna that ties in more directly to New Agents of Atlas with Aero learning more about Wave’s origin.

| Published by Marvel

Age of X-Man: Prisoner X #5 concludes another of these minis setting up for the finale in Age of X-Man: Omega. Vita Ayala, Germán Peralta, Matt Horak, Mike Spicer, and Joe Sabino deliver an entertaining story here of Bishop and his crew fighting back against their captor and figuring out who put them in this mess. Gorgeous artwork from Peralta, Horak, and Spicer.

| Published by Marvel

Analog #6 returns from the break with this action-packed start to the new arc. Great art from David O’Sullivan and Mike Spicer. Also, an interesting reveal of what people still do post-Internet.

| Published by Image

Crowded #7 kicks off the second arc as Charlie and Vita try to make their way to Las Vegas. Tons of humour, Charlie continues to be someone that you want to strangle, and Dog may just be the best part of the entire series. I love the art from Ro Stein, Ted Brandt, Tríona Farrell, Katie O’Meara, and Holly McKend.

| Published by Image

Deathstroke #45 begins “Deathstroke RIP” from Priest, Fernando Pasarin, Jason Paz, Wade von Grawbadger, Jeromy Cox, and Willie Schubert. This one deals with the legacy of Slade Wilson in a fascinating manner as Rose tries to fulfill her father’s last contract. There’s also a tie-in to the “Year of the Villain” event with someone here listening to Luthor’s offer. Should be an interesting road ahead.

| Published by DC Comics

Doom Patrol: Weight of the Worlds #1 is very much a continuation of the previous volume of Doom Patrol (with this first issue even including a “Thirteen” chapter heading), but it’s both inclusive and weird enough that it doesn’t overly matter if you’ve read the previous stuff. It helps, but this isn’t a bad place to jump in at the deep end. Gerard Way, Jeremy Lambert, James Harvey, Sajan Rai, and a seemingly uncredited letterer deliver an excellent story here, featuring a weird story on a fitness planet and Cliff dealing poorly with being flesh and blood again.

| Published by DC Comics / Young Animal

Giant Days #52 seems to be setting up how the series may see its exit as Esther travels to London for a job interview. It’s going to be sad to see it end, but John Allison, Max Sarin, Whitney Cogar, and Jim Campbell are ensuring that these final stories contain all of the humour and rich character interaction that has been a hallmark for the book.

| Published by Boom Entertainment / BOOM! Box

The Green Lantern #9 is another excellent issue with stunning artwork from Liam Sharp and Steve Oliff. This one sets up a new multiversal threat while also giving us a fun adventure on an otherwise forgotten corner of the DC Universe in Athmoora. 

| Published by DC Comics

Harley Quinn #63 is another “Year of the Villain” tie-in, with the offer being heard on the last two pages of the book. That pretty much seems to be the theme of these tie-ins, so if you’re not normally reading the books, you might otherwise want to skip them if you’re only interested in Year of the Villain. Apart from that, this is an entertaining story of Harley dealing with her mother’s cancer diagnosis from Sam Humphries, Otto Schmidt, and Dave Sharpe.

| Published by DC Comics

Immortal Hulk #20 continues to build on the confrontation between Hulk, Betty, and the new Abomination adding General Fortean’s forces to the mix directly. It’s fairly explosive, while more horrible and horrifying things seem to be happening on the other side of the Green Door and elsewhere. Al Ewing, Joe Bennett, Ruy José, Belardino Brabo, Marc Deering, Paul Mounts, and Cory Petit continue to deliver Marvel’s best title. Also, there’s an Absolute Carnage teaser from Ewing, Brian Level, Mounts, and Clayton Cowles that gives us a missing body of General Ross and hints at possibly a more nightmarish Red Hulk.

| Published by Marvel

Justice League #27 continues “Apex Predator” from James Tynion IV, Javier Fernandez, Bruno Redondo, Hi-Fi, and Tom Napolitano. It builds further on the new history of Luthor and Martian Manhunter, while the rest of the team continues to try to track down the Monitor and Anti-Monitor.

| Published by DC Comics

Lois Lane #1 is an excellent debut from Greg Rucka, Mike Perkins, Paul Mounts, and Simon Bowland. It focuses well on Lois’ day job, building up on what makes her a creditable threat to shady organizations and the US government alike as she pushes forward to find the truth. A very welcome reappearance of a Questionable character, some topical story threads of the camps at the southern US border, and gorgeous artwork from Perkins and Mounts.

| Published by DC Comics

Red Sonja #6 is the penultimate chapter of this arc with the finale spinning off in the Lord of Fools special. Some interesting developments here as the Zamoran Emperor tries to end the war by offering Sonja a marriage proposal.

| Published by Dynamite

Savage Avengers #3 fully unites the team as Electra and Punisher join the others, complete with an interesting merging for the Venom symbiote. Gerry Duggan tosses out some really great funny lines for this one amidst all of the bloody action.

| Published by Marvel

Sea of Stars #1 is a heartbreaking debut from Jason Aaron, Dennis Hallum, Stephen Green, Rico Renzi, and Jared K. Fletcher. Heartbreaking because it tells the story of a kid and his father, struggling to get by in cruel world through space shipping, and the attack of a weird space creature that tears them apart. Great set-up, beautiful art, and some bizarre events for what happens to the kid.

| Published by Image

Space Bandits #1 is worth it just for the incredible artwork from Matteo Scalera and Marcelo Maiolo. Like Scalera’s work on Black Science, the inventiveness of his art knows no limits and he explores some rich and detailed alien landscapes and characters, with a neat pastel colour palette from Maiolo. This first issue sets up two criminals screwed over by their respective crews.

| Published by Image

Star Wars: Target Vader #1 is a compelling debut that sets up a plot to kill Darth Vader from Robbie Thompson, Marc Laming, Chris Bolson, Neeraj Menon, Jordan Boyd, Andres Mossa, Federico Blee, Erick Arciniega, and Clayton Cowles. This one’s largely a gathering of the team set-up as we follow Valance from Han Solo: Imperial Cadet and learn of an organization running guns against the Empire.

| Published by Marvel

Superman: Up in the Sky #1 begins to collect the original Superman story that was published in those Walmart-exclusive 100-page anthologies from Tom King, Andy Kubert, Sandra Hope, Brad Anderson, and Clayton Cowles. It’s not a bad start, even if it seems a bit weird as to how obsessive Superman seems to be over a missing child stolen from the planet. Some of the best art from Andy Kubert I’ve seen in a while.

| Published by DC Comics

Test #1 is another highly unique and entertaining debut for Vault. Christopher Sebela, Jen Hickman, Harry Saxon, and Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou introduce us to Aleph, a test subject in some sort of corporate experiment that seems to have some sort of unique powers. Or maybe not. That’s the interesting thing, there are hints that it could all be in Aleph’s mind. Wonderful art from Hickman and Saxon.

| Published by Vault

Thumbs #2 continues this excellent series from Sean Lewis and Hayden Sherman. The world-building in this series is incredible, especially considering how immensely personal it happens to be in regards to being seen through Thumbs’ eyes. The colour scheme in this series of blue-grey washes and hot pink just makes this look and feel wonderfully unique. Also, how the back-up story is presented with spot illustrations and dialogue is a neat use of format.

| Published by Image

Other Highlights: Batgirl #36, Batman/TMNT III #3, Birthright #37, Black Hammer: Age of Doom #11, Captain America and the Invaders: Bahama’s Triangle #1, Charlie’s Angels vs. The Bionic Woman #1, Buffy the Vampire Slayer #6, DCeased #3, Dead Man Logan #9, Descendent #3, The Dreaming #11, Fantastic Four: Prodigal Sun #1, Female Furies #6, Hashtag: Danger #3, Heathen #7, Jim Henson’s Tale of Sand, KINO #17, The Long Con #10, Ms. Marvel Annual #1, No One Left to Fight #1, Old Man Quill #7, Postal: Deliverance #1, The Punisher #13, Secret Warps: Soldier Supreme Annual #1, Section Zero #4, She Said Destroy #2, Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider #10, Star Trek: Year Five #3, Star Wars: Age of Resistance - Finn #1, Star Wars Adventures #23, TMNT #95, Transformers #8, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #46, Uncanny X-Men #21, The World of Black Hammer Encyclopedia

Recommended Collections: Conan the Barbarian - Volume 1: Life and Death of Conan Book One, Conan: The Jewels of Gwahlur & Other Stories, Crimson Lotus, Gasolina - Volume 3, Go Go Power Rangers - Volume 4, Hellboy: 25 Years of Covers, Monstress - Book One

d. emerson eddy thinks that it’s a crime against nature to not bake homemade mac and cheese.