#I chose the best background ;; won't stop repeating it

[ndostairlyrium]

This was adorable, melancholic, and delicate I actually teared up a little 💜

[themotherofhorses]

or else they better dig two | b.b.

summary: the man standing before you was not your husband. not in the slightest. However, he was sorry. so fucking sorry. his white eyes showed you that. 

pairing: bucky barnes x wife!reader

warning(s): angst, major wounds, kinda zombie!bucky?, main character/variant death, the ol’ winter soldier but 10x worse. bucky’s variant is from earth-807128 and, lemme tell ya, it is absolutely brutal in that universe.

a/n: um, yea, well, decided to give this a try. it’s short but simple. inspired by The Band Perry’s “Better Dig Two”.

It had been almost two months since you last seen your husband. Five weeks since he went complete radio silent. And thirteen days since his identification marker disappeared off the grid. 

You were quite concerned, to say the least. 

A few times would Bucky not answer for days at a time. The longest was five weeks, but that was before he sent you a surprised "I'm coming home bby" text, and his tiny bright-red marker sparkled as he grew closer to both New York and you. 

But his ID marker had never disappeared off the S.H.I.E.L.D intel atlas. Not once during his entire career as an Avenger/S.H.I.E.L.D agent. That’s why you knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

You could feel it, deep in your bones. It made you feel a little sick.

Nick Fury was instantly made aware of this situation. He spent ten minutes just staring at the screen before directing both Steve and Sam to pack up. They would be deployed to Bucky's last known location and do a thorough areal search. It could be several reasons why he isn't showing up anymore, Maria Hill murmured, From a possibly fatal wound to an enemy ambush. 

"Don't worry," she said with a tight-lipped smile that did not reach her eyes, "We'll find him. Or, better yet, Steve will. Cap would not allow his best friend to vanish off the face of the earth again. You know that. I know that. Everyone in this compound knows it."

With nothing really left to do, you wished Steve and Sam a bit of good luck and assured them that you’d update with anything new that came up in the database. It would take them roughly eight hours to reach Belgrade. Time was ticking. You felt nauseous. 

Three days later, you received a much-needed update that didn’t do anything to alleviate your fears. Bucky's S.H.I.E.L.D-issued backpack was dug up near a desolate cabin within the Molin Forest. Scrapes of dark blood splattered the cabin's flooring, along with the most overpowering and appalling smell. It smells like a...like a dead body, Sam stated, covering his nose. Beside him, Steve dropped his head. 

Tony left the room and Natasha threw her arms around you, holding you close as you wailed. Fury gave them the choice: come back home or search for the body. 

They chose the latter. But they could not locate the remains of your husband. of your Bucky.

You felt nauseous again. 

It had been almost three weeks since then. Condolences begin to pile in. “I am so sorry…It must be so devastating to lose your husband…To be a widow this young…If there is anything I can do….” 

Then, the U.S. Army reached out, requesting if you wish for your husband to be buried in Arlington. 

“He’ll be laid to rest alongside other members of the WWII Howling Commando Unit. There will be a plot next to him, reserved for you as his wife, of course.”

It was almost too much to take. 

You want to scream and shout and cry because your husband is not dead, dammit. 

To take your mind off of the most… recent issues, you decide to tuck yourself away inside your bedroom and reorganize the closet. On the left side, your clothing. On the right, Bucky's. You color-coordinated his Henley's and straightened up his boots, wondering if you should polish them as well. 

No. Bucky prefers for his boots to be scuffed up. He likes to see the tiny scratches when the sunlight hits them. They’re like ‘little badges’ as he jokingly says. 

You leave them alone and move on to the next. 

As you're folding away shirts into the dresser, you hear a slight stumble outside. It sounds like someone almost tripped. You immediately stop what you're doing and listen. The footsteps are heavy against the hardwood. You could recognize them from a mile away. 

"Bucky!" You shriek, feeling like crying from utter relief as you run towards him. "For the gods' sake, Bucky! You fucking terrified me! Where were you-" You suddenly stop in your steps, eyes widening in horror.

“Bucky?” 

It's Bucky. But it's... it's not your Bucky. 

Your hands are quick in an attempt to trap the ghastly scream that escapes your mouth. Somewhere, in the background, you can hardly make out FRIDAY asking if you require immediate emergency assistance. 

It won't help, you think. It won't do jack shit. 

Because Bucky is standing before you, 6′ft or so in the Winter Soldier suit.

Thick, ebony leather from neck to toe, with numerous weaponry and devices strapped to his waist. One thigh holds a pistol, his back carries another. His old metal arm, the one with the red star, hums with electricity. Over his mouth is the same black muzzle, which hides away the majority of his face. It leaves just his eyes to be seen, a pale white that is practically blinding.

“Bucky...”

A fat tear drips down your cheek as you take notice of the pitchfork buried deep in his chest. It's still fresh, blood trickling onto the floor. It matches the dried red along his scalp. 

Yet, despite all his injuries and everything, Bucky stands motionless, every so often a twitch in his shoulders. 

"Bucky...Oh, gods, what did they do to you, baby?"   

He blinks, once, twice, four times. You stand, hushed, as you await his next move. Then, the skin between his brows creases, and he mumbles something. It's muffled, it's weak, yet you can hear it perfectly.

It's your name. 

"Kill me. Kill me. Kill me..."

"Do it. Do it. Do it…" 

"Please. Please. Please..."

You cannot move, nor can you think. Instead, you feel that familiar urge to suddenly vomit. When he sees that you haven’t done anything, he recites his pleas, each one a massive stab at your heart.

"Kill me. Kill me. Kill me..."

"Do it. Do it. Do it…" 

"Please. Please. Please..."

You take a deep breath, biting back a large sob. In the back, amongst the walls, FRIDAY lets you know that Steve, Sam, Natasha, and Clint are rushing their way up to your floor.

“Do not worry, Mrs. Barnes. An on-site emergency medical team is on its way. ETA five minutes.”

But you know that any attempts would all be in vain. 

There is no saving this Bucky, whoever he may be with these white eyes. You hope Steve will understand when he enters and sees the aftermath. Maybe he will if he realizes that this Bucky wasn’t yours, you tell yourself as you reach for the gun at your side. 

And this would’ve been your last choice in any scenario given.

"I’m so sorry but I won’t have you endure this any longer. I’m better than that. I know it’s painful. Don’t worry, though, I will avenge you. Steve will avenge you. We‘ll all avenge you.” You raise your gun, finger heavy on the trigger.

He makes a deep drawl that kind of resembles a Steeevvvieee?

You nod, blinking back tears, “If we meet again, I beg you, please forgive me...”

A second later, Bucky collapses to the ground, forehead wet with new blood.

“Th...Thankkk...Yooouu...”

You have to remind yourself that this wasn’t your Bucky. Your Bucky isn’t dead on the floor with a bullet in his brain and a pitchfork in his chest. He’s gonna come back, you repeat, rocking yourself back and forth as you eye all the blood pooling around the body.

That wasn’t him. 

It was not. 

He’s gonna come home. 

Or else they better dig two.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

White Lies (Pt. 07 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 2.4 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

<- Previous part (06)

Next part (08) ->

{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

{John Wick Masterlist}

×

Attraction

“It's so tiny.” You say, looking at the ultrasound picture you just got from your baby. It's week twelve, and the first trimester is almost over. You'll feel less uncomfortable, or so say the doctors, but a lot of different things are going to happen. You're excited about that. “And beautiful.” Walking fast, you let Keanu guide you through the hospital since you're a bit late to meet with Dr. Harris.

“Do you want a boy or a girl?” He asks, looking down at you.

“Boy.” You're quick to answer, smiling at him. “And I know you want a girl.”

“You know me so well.” He mutters when you reach Dr. Harris's office. “I'll leave you to it and go talk with Dr. Wright.”

“Alright.” Tiptoeing, you place a quick kiss on his cheek before heading inside, fast enough so he won't get a look at your blushing cheeks.

Dr. Harris stands up when she sees you, a smile on her lips. “Mrs. Reeves, good morning.” She says, gesturing for you to seat on the divan next to her. “How are you feeling today?”

Dr. Harris is great, but everything she asks is part of the appointment. You don't mind though, she helps a lot to put your thoughts in place. “I'm great. The first trimester is almost over and... Everything is great. Keanu and I are getting along very well.” You decide to bring your husband into the conversation because she'll ask about him anyway.

“That's very good to hear.” You settle down on the divan, pulling your legs up as she takes her place on the armchair. “Have you and Mr. Reeves spoken about the future of your marriage?”

“We'll try.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Elaborate, (Y/N). Dr. Harris never takes the short answer. “We'll try to make it work. I don't want the accident to break apart a good marriage so...” Running a hand through your hair, you sigh. “We had this settled a while ago, and it's been working well so far.”

“Have you and Mr. Reeves ever gotten... Intimate?”

The question makes you move in your seat, sitting up straight. “We hug a lot... And kisses on cheeks are frequent.” You two are growing closer, and you're happy to feel that he's not pushing himself away to make you comfortable. Keanu is letting you set the pace, and it's up to you to chose what step to take next.

“That was not what I meant.” She adds. “I asked if you and your husband have been... Romantically intimate.”

“Oh...” Clearing your throat, you bite your lip. You weren't expecting that, and you don't need this... Image in your head. Not when you've been thinking about kissing him ever since Lucia visited. “No, no. There's the baby so...”

“First of all, this is a common myth about pregnancy.” Resting her notebook on her lap, Dr. Harris looks at you. She's reading you, you know it. “It wouldn't hurt the baby in any way. But this isn't the point. I just need to know if Mr. Reeves tried to approach you that way, and if he did, how you felt about it.”

You're as red as a tomato now, you're sure of it. “Keanu is... Respectful. He doesn't push me into anything. We're... I'm still sleeping in the guest room and he's completely fine with it.” Why does everyone is so worried about Keanu trying to get intimate? He's your husband, it's only natural.

“And won't you sleep on the same bed with your husband?”

“I don't know.” She asks too many questions, and you don't usually have much time from one topic to the other. It makes your head hurt a little, having to deal with so many feelings and situations. “Maybe I should because... Because I really like being around him. I'm just waiting until I'm ready, I think.”

“And when do you think that will be?”

Sighing, you don't know what to answer. And you don't want to. Maybe Dr. Harris doesn't have to know everything. Some things are better if kept in between you and Keanu.

Dr. Wright's words are in the background as his mind floats away. (Y/N) is everything he can think about. Time and time again he's caught in the lie he built, wanting, wishing it was real. He knows he shouldn't let this happen. He knows he shouldn't let himself have feelings for her, but how could he not?

(Y/N) isn't just beautiful. She's kind, honest, caring. He never thought he would feel this way towards a woman. And it sometimes makes him angry that this didn't happen differently. That he didn't meet her, before she was married of course, maybe in the same way he told her about their fake first meeting. In an airport, where he'd approach her, talk to her, and if he was lucky, get her number. So things would be right.

“Mr. Reeves?”

“Yes.” He clears his throat, moving on his seat. “The headaches are still constant. Almost every day she complains about it, but they're less intense.” He's impressed that he was able to answer the doctor correctly. “But other than that, she's doing well.”

“That's good.” And he goes on again, basically repeating himself, saying things Keanu already knows by heart.

He knows what to do. He knows he has to call emergency if (Y/N) faints. Or if she feels too sleepy. He knows all the little things he has to pay attention to. As if he didn't have his eyes on her all the damn time.

Keanu loves watching her. When she's lying down watching TV, both her legs over his, a hand on her belly. When she cooks, not allowing him to help sometimes, as she moves around the kitchen. And God, her laughter. It lights up his whole world. Keanu thinks he could literally die if he goes too long without a flash of her smile.

“That will be all, I guess.” Dr. Wright says, taking one last look at his papers. “If you need anything, you can always call me.”

“Thank you, Dr. Wright.” He says, standing up to his feet and shaking the man's hand.

Keanu makes his way through the halls, to Dr. Harris' office. Once he's there, he peeks through the rectangular window on the door. She's seated on the divan, facing the doctor, legs crossed, and hands on her lap. He can hear their voices, low, but clear enough since the hall is empty and silent.

He doesn't want to listen. This is between her and her psychologist, and if there's anything she wants him to know, she'll tell him about it. But when he hears his name... His unconsciously listening, it doesn't matter how hard he tries to focus on his phone.

“How would you describe your feelings for Mr. Reeves?” The question has him full alert, holding his breath.

“Well... They're... Growing.” She answers, clearly a little confused. “I know that's not what you're expecting me to say but...”

“It's alright if you don't want to talk about it.”

“It's not that I don't want to talk about it, I just...” Her voice fades, and Keanu rests his back against the wall, trying to listen better. “I want things to fall in place before talking to you. I know I'm supposed to tell you everything and you do help me, but... I don't know. There are a lot of things I just don't know yet.”

“That's completely fine.” The doctor says, and a pause follows. “And what do you think Mr. Reeves feels for you?”

Keanu freezes, holding his breath once again. What will she answer? He feels guilty for listening, but this is something he needs to know. Closing his eyes shut, he tries to hear her voice above the pounding noise of his heart.

“He says he loves me.”

“And do you believe it?”

Silence again. For long seconds, almost a lifetime. “I do, I just... I was hoping he'd be more... Touchy, I think?” She giggles, nervously. “But he already told me that he'll let me set the pace in things, so...”

“Mr. Reeves is quite a gentleman.” Dr. Harris' says, and Keanu chuckles. “He won't push you, and that's good. Not many men would be so patient.”

“I know... Keanu is... Absolutely amazing.” (Y/N) mutters, and Keanu releases his breath, his lungs burning to the sensation.

“Well, this will be it for today.” Dr. Harris says, and he sets in motion, getting up to his feet. Running a hand through his hair, he stares at the door, waiting for her to show up. And when she does, he gets the same feeling he always has when he sees her. Like his world stops, like his heart will jump off his chest. It doesn't matter how much time he spends around her, this sensation never goes away. She's a sight for sore eyes, unbelievably beautiful.

The drive home is peaceful, and Keanu stops to get you ice cream. Back home, you both make lunch and eat together in the kitchen. Then you go take a nap, only to wake up when the sun is setting.

Making your way through the house, looking for Keanu, you start thinking he's out when you hear something coming from the garage. Bracing yourself from the cold, you go there, smiling to see Keanu in the back. You know he loves motorcycles, and he has three. Well, he has three now, since the new one just got here a week ago. Silently, you walk past the two cars, watching as he rubs a piece of fabric on the bike's seat.

“Hey.” You announce yourself, leaning against the hood of the nearest car.

“Hi, beautiful.” Keanu's eyes lay on you, as he moves to stand up straight.

“When will you take me on a ride?” The idea just came to your head, and you can't help but imagine what it would feel like. Speeding through the streets with the wind on your hair, holding on to Keanu...

“We can go around the neighborhood. But I don't think it's a good idea to good further yet. You're still recovering and there's the baby.” As he speaks, you walk over him, giving the new bike a look. The machine is huge, probably very heavy, and it suits him very well.

“Alright.” You agree, gesturing at the bike. “Can I... Can I ask something?”

“Sure.” Throwing the rag he was using on the wooden table in the corner, he lightly touches your thigh. “What is it?”

Blushing, you look down, touching the leather seat of the bike. “Do you find me attractive?” The words come out so low you wonder if he actually heard you.

“Why are you asking me that?”

“I asked first.” You burst out, putting a strand of hair behind your ear, glancing at him before turning your eyes at the bike.

“Yes.” He simply says in a soft voice. “You're a beautiful woman.” With his index finger under your chin, he makes you look at him again. “Why did you ask me that?”

“I... I really wanted to know.” Almost involuntary, you give a tiny step forward, standing on your toes just a little bit.

“Does it goes both ways?”

His question makes you giggle. “You're really asking if I find you attractive?”

“I really want to know,” Keanu whispers, his hands sliding to caress your cheek.

“Of course I do.” You whisper too, your hands coming to lay on his sides, holding on to his shirt. “Ke... Can I ask for something?”

“Anything, beautiful.” He assures you, and your eyes are locked on his lips. You need to feel them. You can't wait anymore, you're ready for this, right now.

“Kiss me.” You plead, tiptoeing, both hands grabbing a fist full of the fabric of his shirt.

“Are you sure?”

“I am.” You expect him to hesitate, as he usually does, but it's different now.

Keanu bends down, and you close your eyes to feel his lips brushing on yours. It's like sweet torture, the anticipation. At first, he only pecks your lips, quick and soft, but he doesn't pull away after. You're holding your breath, a little numb from the proximity, hands moving from his sides to grab the collar of his shirt, fearful he'll step away. He doesn't. Instead, you feel his lips on yours again, slowly at first, as your mind goes blank for a moment. Everything else fades away, and nothing else matters. His hands come to your waist, holding, grounding you. You're moving closer, wanting to climb on him. You're not thinking straight, but it doesn't matter. Pulling away just to catch your breath, you quickly kiss him again, parting your lips to let him in, deepening the kiss.

There's a burning sensation spreading through your body, but you don't fight it. You let it sink in, take over. But you need to breathe, your lungs screaming for a break, so you pull apart, still holding him close.

“Was this ok?” Keanu asks, his hands moving away from your body.

“Absolutely.” You assure him, nodding, still not ready to let go of him. “It was good... Right?”

“It was amazing.” With a hand on your cheek, Keanu smiles before capturing your lips on another kiss.

×

@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina @playboygeniusphilanthropist @partypoison00 @mariafetamina @fortheloveoffanfic @trin303

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCIII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

And you are not here... (Part I)

(13x01)

Hello beautiful people! We reached season 13!!! This was a very analyzed season, so, many of the things I will say won't be new. There wasn't much Destiel in the second half of the season, so, I hope we can have less volumes than season 12.

But, let's focus now in the angst, and when I speak about angst, I mean Mourning! Dean.

Priorities?

At the beginning of the episode we have Dean, down his knees by Castiel's dead body, he can't believe he just lost him, so, he is not thinking here, he can't thing in another fact more than Cas.

Sam feels he has not time for crying for his best friend, because he has to focus in saving the world: Lucifer's son had just born.

I always like to point the difference here: Why Sam can focus on the Mission right away and Dean can't? Is because the amount of the emotions and the meaning of this lost.

Don't forget they lost Mary too, but this is different.

Because Sam lost his mother, but because she didn't died, he keeps hopes in bringing her back. Because Jack is there, and he was the one opening the rift. He lost Cas, he saw him die, his best friend, but even so, he keeps going, he runs towards that cabin to find the Nephilim. Because just like Cas, even with the loses, he has to keep fighting, to try to save the world, Cas would do the same.

But for Dean Cas represents his Everything, his faith, his hopes, the love of his life. So the world just stopped there. And he can't think in anything else but the deep pain of loosing the man he loves.

Then the scene in the car is heartbreaking.

SAM: Hold on a second. Can we just talk about what happened back there?

DEAN: Sure. Which part? Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—(he pauses) Mom’s gone, and apparently, the Devil’s kid hit puberty in thirty seconds flat. Oh, and almost killed us.

This is Dean not wanting to say Cas is dead, this is Dean not being able to say Cas is dead. His worst nightmare became true.

SAM: Yeah, because you tried to shoot him.

DEAN: I tried to shoot the monster, Sam. It’s kind of what we do.

SAM: We don’t know what he is yet, Dean. And I had it under control.

DEAN: I’m sorry. Are you defending the Son of Satan?

SAM: I’m not defending anything. I’m just saying, look, with everything that’s happened, I’m obviously spun out also, but we need a plan.

DEAN: Yeah, kill him! Okay? That’s the plan. Look, right now all that matters is finding him, and ending him, before he hurts anybody else. And once we do that we’ll figure everything else out.

Again pointing at the difference between the two brothers. Sam is thinking strategically, but Dean wants to kill him, because he blames Jack of Castiel's death. Jack is a monster that deceived, used and killed Cas. So there's no doubt for Dean JACK IS A MONSTER AND HE MUST BE ELIMINATED. For Sam, Jack represents the hopes to get his mother back.

SAM: What about Cas? Is he - is he really dead?

DEAN: You know he is.

And this is terrible, Because Dean is answering this to himself. 'You know he is.' Is the fact he has to assume. But he is avoiding to do it.

"Angels are real too."

So sad when the angels find Castiel on the table. The contemptible way one of them referred to Cas breaks my heart, because is so fresh now his dead in 15x18.

1ST ANGEL: Castiel. Always knew he’d meet a bad end.

2ND ANGEL: He deserved better.

1ST ANGEL: No, he really didn’t.

This is so accurate now, is like hearing Misha wanting his big sacrifice for love as Castiel, and all the fandom repeating HE DERÑSERVED BETTER, trying to show the point, and the C*W and broniles saying NO, HE REALLY DIDN'T. But well... Just a bitter thought... For this angel, particularly, is referring to Castiel's choices, his repeatedly chosing Dean Winchester over Heaven.

When they arrive to the Burger Shop, Dean decides to stay in the car and wait for Sam.

The drunken girl, which results to be an angel, comes out from the same shop, and the camera shows us Dean's bruises in his knuckles. So, we can infer something happened...

The dialogue between the angel and Dean is very interesting, because she create a whole scenario and character:

DRUNK WOMAN: Anyway, Becky was - and I say this in the most feminist, screw the patriarchy way - a giant superbitch. She’d take things, and break things, and piss people off, and just do whatever she wanted, no matter who it hurt.

She will say after revealing who she really is, that Dean was Becky. And the way she speaks about this character is with the same contempt as the angel talking about Castiel. Because Dean is guilty of Castiel's fall and disobedience. He is the human that broke Castiel, and that's why Cas ended up dying.

Once in the police station, Dean tells all the truth to the sheriff, and when he speaks about angels... His face turns even more sad.

Gif credit @wanreina

Look how he drops his eyes and turns his face to the window. This is pure grief, pain, sadness. Because it was almost as if he was mentioning Castiel again. And it hurts too much.

We were witnesses of Dean's prayer to Chuck, mentioning he wanted Castiel back, pleading not just for him, but Mary and even Crowley. Desperate prelaying. And when he turned around, with this little hopes in being heated, and maybe finding everyone there, CAS, and then realizing they weren't, he exploded in anger, breaking the pirate on the door, and hurting his knuckles.

Still trying to make Cas to come back to him...

Goodbye Cas

When Dean was fighting against the drunken woman, now an angel, the dialogue between them is showing us again how Dean was still expecting to find a way to make Castiel come back to him.

MIRIAM: Because Bieber in there? He can do almost anything.

DEAN (hopeful): Anything?

MIRIAM: (Chuckles) Oh, sweetie. Almost anything. Castiel, he's dead.

Gif set credit @godshipsit 👇

Dean's grief all over his face while the little hope that had found it's way is slowly fading again, listening to these words. These words that Miriam says with pleasure.

This scene is showing us how Dean was only thinking about CAS, in how to bring him back, with desperation, he was longing for him so hard, even the angel perceived that emotion.

The other super sad scene was Dean preparing Cas' body for the funeral...

(the follow gifs are from @wanreina)

When he comes back to the cabin, he faces again the reality. Dean is down that sheet, dead. He stops just for a second, and swallows. Encouraging himself to keep walking towards him. Before doing that, he flicks his eyes away from the corpse.

Then he goes to his side, and sighs, and then breaths... The pain is all over him.

This is Dean realizing again Cas is gone. Look at the deep sadness in his face, while he is staring at him, maybe he is talking with him, asking Cas to come back to him. Then, he is swallowing again, hard, he looks away, because Castiel won't come back, Castiel is definitely dead, as the angel said. No one will bring him back, nobody is gonna help him to bring Cash back. The despair is huge. Yes he has to aknowledge that in his heart.

Okay I read somewhere that maybe Dean was praying here to Cas to come back again, then he sees Cas is still dead. But I really believe, Dean didn't stop praying to him, or to Chuck, because that was the only things he could do. What else? So maybe he was praying the whole time, putting his hopes in those so many times Chuck relived him, or Cas camber back to him. Trying to reach Cas somehow. But with each desperate prayer he was convincing himself Cas wouldn't come back, and this time he was dead, really dead. For ever. That's the pain in his heart. He was trying to wake him up, he was pleading for one last miracle, and not to burn his body in the pyre. So this was his last attempt to bring him back.

The last and hard scene was the funeral

Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind

"You say goodbye" Sammy's voice sound in the background and we see Dean's sad face. The pain and the grief. So different from Sam and Jack. And so different from another times when he had to burn his father, or friends. Nothing is gonna be norm from now. Because he lost Cas, the love of his life.

Visual Narrative: Just a little mention of Pirate Pete's Burger Shop. The place was in blue and red, (Cas and Dean), with references about the ship (Destiel), and jokes about the butt, and, according the Urban Dictionary, the Pirate Pete is a sexual joke too. So, we can maybe infer, base in how angels were mocking Dean and CAS relationship and how it ended in this episode, that place was related to it.

To Conclude:

This was just the beginning of Mourning!Dean, we will see him depressed and with no faith, no hopes. Ig gonna be alarming for Sam, and we will have one huge revelation in the episode in wich Billie will talk with Dean about his grief.

Hope you like the first meta from season 13, see you in the next ones!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

Buenos Aires, December 20th 2020, 6:03 PM

[lokaneiscanon]

Mighty Thor in Thor: Love and Thunder rant

Seeing Natalie Portman returning to reprise her role as Jane Foster, nevertheless wielding Mjolnir, finally getting the treatment this character deserves, was surreal to say the least. I had just started reading Lords of Midgard, the 8th issue of Mighty Thor (2015 - 2018), and had fallen in love already. But I didn't suspect at all that Taika Waititi would pull this card in Thor: Love and Thunder, considering Jane was barely mentioned in Ragnarok. The news about my favorite actress portraying one of my favorite characters coming out of the blue - you can imagine the excitement. Alas, I quickly remembered what the fandom thought of that comic (at least on tumblr) and imagined it now growing tenfold, cuz not everyone in the MCU fandom reads comics but pretty much everyone wants to watch another Thor movie. And yes, many fans weren't ready for this step, still recovering from Sam Wilson getting the shield in Endgame. Which is completely fine. We're not obligated to like everything Marvel throws in our faces, we're allowed to criticize and express our opinion on the internet or wherever. What is not okay is mindlessly hating, and even worse - using false facts to support said opinion.

I have seen some people using the argument that it is one of Marvel's worst selling comics. Which has already been proven wrong by multiple sites, including Comichron, just Google it, as I did myself. I read multiple posts, ones saying how good Jane is doing as Thor in sales, others disproving this, so I checked for myself the numbers at the site mentioned above month by month to be sure. The comic truly had its downfalls as the story progressed but in my opinion it's normal for the 1st issue to have more sales than the 21st. If we compare it to Unworthy Thor, which started running a bit later and followed the now unworthy Odinson, the data shows the latter had more sales. But then again, while Might Thor was at its 17th issue, Unworthy Thor was at its 2nd. Also, they later crossed paths, shared comic issues, it's fair to say they go hand in hand and Jason Aaron, the author, probably doesn't want us to compare them, as they complete and compliment each other's stories. Still I decided to check the comic that made Thor unworthy in the first place - Thor: God of Thunder (2012 - 2014), which seemed to me more "comparable" to Might Thor (2015 - 2018). *I keep putting the years it was being released so as to not be confused with previous Mighty Thor issues, whole Odinson was still Thor, please bear with me* So yes, the numbers were pretty close, but from what I saw, Mighty Thor had the upper hand if we compare first issue to first issue and so on. (In defense of Odinson, we have to take into account that this data is only from the US and does not include digital sales. Also, he's been around since the 50s. We could argue Jane was a breath of fresh air that some Marvel fans were indeed ready for. As a non-American, and also a person without a hint of knowledge in economics I cannot take into account inflation and whatever else has prevented or enabled Americans to get their hands on the comics or has affected prizes through the years. Bear that in mind.) Moreover, from what I saw on Comichron, both comics had much competition - God of thunder was released along with Avengers vs the X-men, the Uncanny X-men, pretty popular at the time, and the Goddess of Thunder faced Civil War 2 and DC Universe Rebirth (yes, DC is in the game too), also dominating with tremendous sales for the longest time. Yet I stick with my original statement - both Thors are valid and shouldn't be put against one another regardless of profit. Because at the end of the day what will matter the most is the story. And boy, what a story it is.

Now, I haven't read the Thor: God of Thunder, but as I was doing research I found one very well written summary and explanation of Thor's arc and his becoming unworthy and I will post a link below, because I honestly feel I wouldn't be doing this comic a favor by describing it without having read it. Which I plan to do in the future, tbh. It's a fantastic prelude to the Mighty Thor (2015 - 2018) that I've come to love. First, I'd like to ask you all to stop hating on the comic without having read it first. It doesn't make any sense and being petty for the sake of being petty won't benefit neither you, nor anyone, really. Now, about the comic itself - the art is magnificent. It's just gorgeous. Mighty Thor isn't , thank all the gods, sexualized, she is pretty buffed and generally looks like a warrior. As it is with the other characters, I dare say. The background truly captures the essence of every world Jane finds herself on. Action scenes are just the right amount and balanced with dialogue well. On a side note, it's pretty funny to read/listen to in your head the Shakespearean English cursive in which Jane talks as Thor. The plot line branches beyond this comic, starting from Thor: God of Thunder and leading to the War of Realms. And it is elaborately built in every issue. You don't know what to expect, yet it makes sense when it happens. Which leads me to the characterizations. My God, what a treat Loki is in this. Clearly, my opinion is kinda biased, since he's my favorite character, but you never know which side he's on. What his motivations are. And it just feels so... Loki. His writing is brilliant. Almost makes me forget what the MCU did to him. Also, he gets some daddy time with Laufey (not as kinky as I make it sound). Frigga/Freyja is just as awesome as in the MCU, even more, at least in the comics she calls Odin out on his shit, who btw is I guess an asshole in every version and universe. Malekith, the main villain, is unbearably despicable, I want to tear every page he is on. He really was mishandled in the Dark World, if you want some true action with the dark elves, you are welcome to enjoy. I saved the best for the end - Jane Foster/ Might Thor. Now, if you think Dr. Foster spends her time boasting about her worthiness and how Odinson is just called Thor, but she is Mighty Thor, you are horribly wrong. She just... does her job. Because the hammer chose her. Because there's no one else to do so. That's it. If you think there's some feminism involved, yes, there sure is, but it certainly isn't the reason Jane became Thor in the first place. It was not the creators going SJW because it's trendy, as such a mindset is honestly offensive to any descent creator with any self respect, but a well thought out story arc, which, I repeat, you have to read the comic to understand. Jane is not at all whiny about the hate she gets in-universe, not only from foes like Odin and who-not, but from Shield and generally people whose asses she's saving. Her having cancer is not something they pulled to provoke sympathy and make her look like a victim - on the contrary, she is a damn hero and a victor. I don't want to give out spoilers, but her being Thor is actually a giant sacrifice that no one really appreciates (both in-universe and in the fandom). She is not Thor to prove she can be, or just to prove "women can be heroes" - she doesn't have to. She is simply needed by the realms and so she does her job, even though she is called a thief, persecuted and generally hated. All that matters is that the hammer finds her worthy - the beauty and simplicity of that fact you will find out, for the last time, if you read the comic.

I'm not making you read the comic or watch Thor: Love and Thunder. I myself don't know what to make of this film yet because there's barely any information about it. I only know it will be based on the comic so that's a reason for my hopes to be up already. On the other hand, since I didn't like Loki's characterization in Ragnarok, I'm not sure what to expect from Taika. There are valid reasons to not like the idea of Jane returning to the MCU as Thor, which you are entitled to. However, reasons such as "why does everything have to be political these days" are not. Because if I had to make a list of everything politically related in the MCU, it would take forever. Steve Rogers kills nazis is the most blatant example. Make of it what you want. But I think we're far enough into the 21st century to realize art and real life are not that separable. It's undeniable that art affects people and that is to say, people everywhere. And they all have different opinions and aren't gonna like everything media is offering to them. And I wish I could simply tell you not to watch the movie but I'm a Marvel fan too and I understand that I can't just take away Thor from you because I want Mighty Thor as well. But none of us can stop Marvel from producing it. So, to quote an image I saw recently, I don't know how to explain to you that you should care about other people. Let the rest of the fandom enjoy what they want to enjoy. Yes, ik I can play around with the tags and avoid posts that unnerve me but, for example, I'm looking up Mighty Thor fanart, which obviously isn't anti-Mighty Thor, yet I get attacked in the comics for anticipating a movie that doesn't even have a full cast yet. Ik I'm not asking for too much when I wish to get the same internet experience (not only tumblr, but also insta, YouTube, Twitter, any site) as the Thor Odison fans, for example. I'm aware I cannot stop all the toxic fans and the trolls but I hope this post has inspired those of you who simply can't envision Jane as Thor, or don't like Natalie Portman in the role, or whatever eles personal preference that doesn't involve political issues and isn't harmful to the community, not to attack every post on your dash with hate. The movie is called LOVE and Thunder, for God's sake. (on a side note, is a franchise that is too afraid to show LGBT characters for more than 1 minute so as to not lose profit from China, THAT politically correct)

Anyway, that was a veeeery long rant, sorry to whoever reads this but, like, please, I put effort into this, hoping this time around I won't be the only positive reviewer of a movie, like I was with Solo: a Star Wars story (yes, I'm still bitter about this), which was boycotted for no apparent reason but was a decent film in reality, and I'm only bringing it up because it has a similar experience to Love and Thunder for getting hate before even being released. I'm not defending a billion dollar company that flopped in box office once, I'm defending the viewer's right to media they are interested in. If you don't like the character, remember - that's your opinion, not a fact that the character sucks. Kudos.

Not very easy to navigate, I advice you to do the research month by month individually for comics you'd like to compare. Also, if you happen to find more reliable data, pls say so in the comments.

Here you have the summary and explanation of the greatness of Thor: God of Thunder, Jesus, I'll go bankrupt if I buy this one too.

Yes, I want to end the sales dispute once and for all, I'm tired of seeing it on my dash. This guy probably explains it better than I did.

@awesomejenlawrence you said you'd like to read this and I delivered

[pokefanbri]

1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful