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kacebox · 7 years ago

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Shipping Just Sucks For Me

I’m going to share with you all here on Tumblr a little bit of frustration I have when it comes to enjoying whatever fictional dramas I do. Be they TV shows or some film franchise, it always seems to be the same.

I didn’t know the term “shipping” even existed until about Summer 2004 when I started frequenting some L Word message boards. It was a bit of internet language I wasn’t familiar with. From there I was introduced to concepts like ship names, names based on whatever pairings, romantically or otherwise from some show or movie. I remember an early favorite of mine was a friendship based one from TLW called AlShaDane, based on a trio of friends, Alice Pieszecki, Shane MacCutcheon, and Dana Fairbanks. There was Dana/Lara and when that fell through, there was Alice/Dana aka Danish.

For TLW, the big one and the one that still persists to something else I was introduced to in 2004, FanFic was TiBette, Bette/Tina. That was the first truly fierce, “ride or die” ship fandom I can recall and it’s still rather fierce.

Eventually I learned what I could of the terminology so I could apply it to my own fandom. The L Word aka TLW was important in teaching me a lot of stuff I wasn’t familiar with, but also teaching something else important and that’s shipping disappointment, also fandom disappointment.

TLW prepared me to deal with a lot of bullshit I’ve noticed when it comes to the fandoms I represent. Dana Fairbanks was my favorite character. She had the most intriguing story overall as it concerned the main characters. Naturally, she’s the one the writers decided to kill off in Season 3 while she was already in the middle of a gripping enough storyline involving herself, Alice, and Lara. I had also become a fan of the Shane/Carmen pairing and of course that died at the end of Season 3.

I remember writing the first (and only successful) fanfic based on the trauma that I and some other fans had dealt with as a result of that season. I’ve tried here and there to write some stuff since, but I’m fucking horrible at writing.

By the time TLW ended in 2009, it felt like a mercy killing and it would be a while before I was able to watch anything though I should point out I did watch FlashForward for the freak show effect of the plot.

2013 was when I finally started opening back up to watching any shows again, starting with Agents of SHIELD and The Blacklist. Eventually I would catch up on some other shows I eventually became interested. In 2015, Supergirl would burst on the scene and that show quickly went from curiosity to my favorite show, the reason why episodic TV was worth it. I became a big fan of the Danvers sisters and how they dealt with the growing pains of Kara growing into being a superhero and the support and love from Alex who had always been there for her since Kara showed up at the Danvers’ doorstep.

Unfortunately, Supergirl had to deal with CBS during Season 1, but thankfully the show as able to move over to the CW where I figured things might open up. I admit, my initial reaction to Maggie showing up had me at “Huh?” Then I remembered, it probably wasn’t likely Maggie was gonna show up on Gotham and date the future Batwoman who herself has yet to appear on that show.

Then Season 2 came along and Alex and Maggie started interacting. There was an instant chemistry to it. Sanvers wasn’t like Olicity where I figured “Yeah I like it, but understand Oliver’s got that “destined loner” thing going against him (see: MacCutcheon, Shane). Like I said, TLW prepared me for this shit.

Sure there’s Barry/Iris, but that’s cheating as OF COURSE they’re supposed to be together. Then Sanvers happened. Cue the Sigma song with Rita Ora, “Coming Home” and that first kiss. It was Dana/Lara all over again for me. I remember how that one ended. Again, that show prepared me.

Yet still, here we are in 2017 and this amazing story with an amazing pairing of characters featuring actors with chemistry and empathy for the situation their characters are in yet we’re on the verge of the oil slick into the ravine, assuming it’s not there already.

Disappointment is disappointment and sure a good fanfic doesn’t hurt when it comes to distractions, but that can only get so far. Heck at one point last year I attempted (and failed) to write some story where not only were Jessica Jones and Felicity Smoak were a couple, but Supergirl and Quake were also one, because just the idea of that impossible pairing was too good to pass up without at least giving it a shot.

Again though, it’s fanfic. Anything may go there, but the writers of the official stuff still helm the controls. Creative and the network dictate what they can with the official narrative and there’s not much we can do about it. Based on my avatar as of this writing, it’s apparent that I’m a big Holtzbert fan as well, based on Jillian Holtzmann and Erin Gilbert from Ghostbusters (2016), my favorite of the Gb films. Sadly, I don’t think that will ever be successfully addressed either in a sequel that might not ever happen to the comic adaptation that currently gets to form the narrative, courtesy of IDW Publishing.

Which brings me back to Sanvers. Here’s what the current state of Supergirl has done to me. Keep in mind, this is still my favorite show, but I’ve gone from watching the show as it airs to DVR’ing it for later to delaying watching it and the other shows I’m into. I’m currently 2 weeks behind and this Monday it might be 3. I’m still keeping up thanks to social media, but it sure does make me feel apprehensive about hitting Play.

Everything is veering towards an inevitable breakup and I’m none too pleased about this. I get that Floriana Lima, who plays Maggie is up for checking out some other gigs while she can and that’s fine. I get that Creative is more interested in teasing the Supercorp (Kara/Lena) fans while shoehorning Karamel (Kara/Mon-El) in even when they’re not together.

Don’t get me wrong Karamelers, I’m not anti-Karamel necessarily. I think they’re good together. It’s just not something I feel strongly about either way. I love that Team Karamel is ride or die for their favorite couple. I dig that. I also dig Team Supercorp and they’re undying faith in a concept no doubt feel should be given a chance. I know that feeling well. Unfortunately, I also know what it’s like to be disappointed at such a chance not being taken.

I don’t like feeling strongly about ships. Again, I learned from TLW that’s a quick access point to resentment toward strangers trying to write their narrative. With the exception of some likes or whatnot on social media I’ve tried keeping all this in check, but I admit it’s getting harder to do that. There’s this level of bile building up, a level that I haven’t felt since Losing the Light on March 12, 2006. Trust me when I say I was not particularly pleasant that night.

If/when the big Sanvers breakup happens on Sg, I’ll likely find out about it before I get around to watching it and it’s still gonna suck.

These people have lives.

These people have jobs to do.

These people are just trying to tell some story the best they can.

That’s me trying to remind myself to be rational. That’s me trying to remind myself that ultimately this is fictional bullshit that should have no effect on my or anyone else’s life.

Then I remember how wrong I am. Then I remember the families who shared their stories about how the Danvers sisters dynamic was huge for them, especially those with a birthed child and one adopted. Then I remember the past year of reading just how powerful Alex’s coming out and the relationship with Maggie became instrumental in their lives. I remember thinking to myself “Wow” when it came to others struggling to come out and struggling with acceptance, struggling with all of these real life issues that Chyler Leigh has been able to provide her acting prowess to as Alex and how meaningful the Alex/Maggie relationship became.

This wasn’t just some TiBette shit where people simply loved the chemistry in everything Jennifer Beals (Bette) and Laurel Holloman (Tina) brought to the table in making the rollercoaster ride of that relationship work on screen. It wasn’t just about how natural they made it look, how organic it came off as. Sanvers wasn’t just some crazy idea worth checking. We weren’t interested in being baited. We weren’t interested in Sg Creative declaring, “hey let’s try a lesbian thing on here and see how it goes.” As the SEC football fans and marketing puts it, “it just means more.” We had no interest in Sanvers being some kind of exploitation project to attract the GLAAD viewers. For many of us it became personal, deeply personal. I have a bad feeling that once all this plays out the way it’s apparently going to, that by the time they’re able to resolve it, it’s going to be too late. When fans declare that “Sanvers is my endgame,” they’re not fucking kidding. Something to understand about LGBTQ viewers, myself representing the “B” side to that. We don’t like being dicked around. We don’t have time for it. We don’t have to be baited and we’re not interested in being thrown a damn scrap here and there.

Whether Sg Creative meant it, they tapped into something that’s become meaningful for many of us. For me it’s idealism mixed with some realism, which I realize is a bit crazy as it comes to a show about a flying white lady alien who among her superpowers is being able to do all that fighting and not get a single run in those tights.

Alex/Maggie is getting into Dana Fairbanks territory. It’s getting into Losing the Light territory. As much as creative has a right to tell their stories as best they can, I and other Sanvers supporters have a right to not be happy about it and be rather vocal about it.

I won’t allow for any ship to be my endgame. I just won’t. That said, even with the now apprehensive viewing, there’s going to be that disappointment. The previous decade, TLW made me realize that I was more of a fan for what the show could be than what it was. Supergirl with all those powers and abilities is going to wind up being the same. That just sucks.

Sanvers matters. Sanvers fans should also matter.

#Sanvers #Sanvers Matters #TheLWord #Supergirl

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