#I can't wait to finally play Roland

[vvizardz]

It's Gigantic time everyone

[game-set-canet]

hey could you make one where the reader is also a tennis player and carlos and she are mixed doubles rivals 🫶🏻

It's Even

Pairing: Carlos Alcaraz x f!reader

category: fluff

warnings: none

Author’s Note: ok, this turned out way different than I intended 🙈 but i hope you like it, lovely anon 🤍

* Y/N = your name * Y/L/N = your last name

MY MASTERLIST

(via Instagram @ carlitosalcarazz)

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"Well...?", you look up from your phone, confused, as Grigor plops down on a chair next to you.

"Good morning, Grigor! What do you mean by 'well...'?"

"What do you think about the draw?", Grigor grins mischievously.

You raise an eyebrow, sceptical:  "What about the draw?"

The Bulgarian leans back, his grin widening: "So, you haven't seen who we're playing in the first round yet?"

Now your curiosity is piqued and you put your phone aside: "No, Dimitrov, enlighten me!"

Grigor leans in conspiratorially and shrugs nonchalantly: "Why don't you ask your boyfriend... and while you're at it, ask him what tactic he and Cristina plan to use for the match."

You feel a gentle blush spreading across your cheeks. Hearing the word "boyfriend" in connection with Carlos gives you butterflies.

You brush a strand of hair from your face and try to play it cool: "We're playing against Carlitos and Cristina?"

"Mhm...", Grigor nods slowly and meaningfully, "And don't you dare get those heart eyes again! Yesterday's practise was enough for me!", Grigor starts laughing, “As soon as Carlos started practising on the court next to ours, you couldn't hit a single serve!"

The gentle blush deepens into a rich tomato red and you shake your head vigorously: "That was because of the wind! And you know it!"

"Of course! The wind!", Grigor leaves no doubt that he doesn't believe a word you say, "Just make sure that doesn't happen during the match, whether your better half is on the other side of the net or not."

*** *** ***

"I can hardly wait for our match tomorrow!", Carlos has one arm around you while your head rests on his chest. You're both lying in the big hotel bed, eyes on the TV.

You smile and lift your head to look at your boyfriend: "You’re really excited about it, aren't you?"

Carlos beams at you and nods: "Of course! It's going to be our first time playing against each other!"

At that moment, you recall a tweet you saw during the rain delay: »Sometimes Carlitos is just like a golden retriever puppy« and the author of that tweet was obviously right.

You grin, furrowing your brow and your hand absentmindedly strokes Carlos' left side up: "But we play against each other all the time?"

"Practise doesn't count! A real match is something entirely different!", his eyes shine with excitement and you feel that special flutter in your stomach, you love him so much.

"Oh yeah, and why's that?"

Carlos makes a grand gesture with the arm that's not around your shoulders: "Because it's going to be something special! Imagine the atmosphere!"

Now you can't hold back a laugh and poke him in the chest: "Carlitos, it's a first-round match, not the Roland Garros final!"

"For me, it has the same importance!", Carlitos matches your grin and you know he's at least partially serious.

You slide away from him a bit and sit up, looking down at him: "So, to you, the Roland Garros final is the same as our first-round match?"

Carlos' grin widens: "Absolutely! Because I'm playing against you!"

"True, and that's why you should be ready for something you've never experienced in a Slam final: you're going to lose."

Your expression is triumphant as you see Carlitos clutch his chest dramatically: "Ouch! What makes you so sure?"

"Grigor and I have already won a title together, and Cristina and you are playing together for the first time."

Carlos just shrugs, the grin returning to his face: "I've achieved a lot of things that seemed unlikely."

You ignore the slight increase in your heart rate at seeing that dazzling grin and toss your hair over your shoulder: "True. But not this time. This time, you’re going to lose."

Carlos doesn't say anything in response, he just pulls you close and gives you a long kiss.

*** *** ***

"Can I give you a tactical tip?" Grigor leans over, a bit out of breath, while you take a long sip from your water bottle, "If you’d stop staring at him, maybe you could actually play tennis."

You nearly choke on your drink and throw an annoyed look at your doubles partner: "And if you’d stop making double faults, maybe we could actually win."

Grigor makes a face and nods slowly before grabbing his tennis racket again: "Well, at least he’s staring at you the whole time too, so I guess it’s even."

Thankfully, it's very hot today, so no one notices your ears turning red. The match has been pretty even so far, but definitely not a highlight reel. Internally, you have to agree with Grigor: your level today is far from outstanding - the same goes for Carlitos. Surprisingly, the stands were almost full, and the crowd is cheering loudly.

"Why do I keep playing with you?", you mutter as you get ready to head back to the court.

Grigor grins widely: "Because you can’t play with Carlos: you two would just stare at each other’s butts the whole time and instead of high-fives after winning a point, it would be a five-minute make-out session."

You have to resist the temptation to throw a tennis ball at his head.

*** *** ***

In the third set, the match finally picks up and Carlitos starts showing why he’s called the golden boy. You also begin to play up to your second-place WTA ranking. Especially the tiebreak is a hard fight, lasting almost 20 minutes.

"Game, set, match, Dimitrov and Y/L/N!"

You hear Grigor sigh in relief next to you: "I thought this match would never end!"

You start laughing as you hug each other enthusiastically.

At the net, you first shake hands with Cristina and then with Carlos.

"I told you you’d lose.", you tease and Carlos laughs softly.

"It’s okay.", he still holds your hand in his and your eyes move from your interlaced hands to his face.

"Even though you claimed yesterday that today's match was just as important as a Slam final for you?"

"I don’t mind losing to you because I’m always so proud of you when you win!"

There it is again: his beautiful smile and your heart skips a beat.

Carlos leans over the net and kisses you.

The crowd cheers.

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tagging: @bluetackbaby @lxndonorris @fedalev @purplecloudarcade

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

R&R

Chili Cook-Off! This event will be held in Forward Mess Hall. To enter, contract Master Chef Jonathan Lowell. To attend as a taster, pick up your tickets any time before February 25! Miller just wanted to enjoy his morning off, but he's voluntold to attend the Chili Cook-off. There he runs into some familiar faces. Fernando bullies and gets bullied by his coworkers. Linda socializes and reports back to Blue Team.

Technically a sequel to Backup - the other Miller/Esparza fic that takes place during SpOps.

Also posted to ao3

-

February 25th, 2558. A perfectly normal Saturday.

4 days since the invasion. Not even two weeks since Castle was shot down on their way to Copernicus base. So much had gone wrong.

The hole in Miller's Fireteam roster yawned ever wider as the campaign pushed everyone to their limits. He had thought he'd lost Crimson too, but their luck had held out so far. But losses were common, regardless of what the propaganda said. It really was only a matter of time.

Get it together, Miller. He thinks to himself and huffs a sigh. At least he can be dramatic and morose in the privacy of his own bunk.

"Good morning, Spartan Miller!"

Never mind, he's not safe anywhere. Maybe he should be grateful that Roland has the decency to wait until he's awake.

"Roland." He sighs and rolls over, glaring at the ceiling. "It's my morning off."

"Was your morning off. Put some pants on so you don't scare my delivery boy. I hope you're hungry!"

Miller grumbles something about pushy AI and pulls on some sweatpants before there's a knock at his door. It's probably Dalton or someone from Crimson in on Roland's scheme. Miller scowls and opens the door.

It's not Dalton or Crimson. It's Linda. 058. Blue Team Linda. Sharp-green-eyes-that-see-into-your-soul Linda. Linda from the speed dating event, who-acted-like-she-wanted-to-win-it Linda. That Linda. At Miller's door. Where he's standing. Shirtless and half awake. Well, he's fully awake now. He stares at her, frozen as the white hot fear and panic turns him to stone. She stares at him, expression blank as usual, maintaining prolonged eye contact as Miller’s brain both empties and goes into overdrive. He goes for casual seconds too late and aborts a half-motion to cover his chest. Playing it off like he went to scratch his neck, he finally regains his grasp of the English language and manages human-like speech.

"Hi." The greeting creaks out his throat.

Linda nods in lieu of a greeting and opens her palm to reveal comically archaic paper tickets. They look small and childish in her hand - so out of place on a warship. Paper tickets, a novelty on their own, but on the Infinity they mean one thing; Morale boosting events. R&R, hand-delivered and Roland-enforced. Miller is doomed. He’s getting roped in. Roland somehow roped Linda (058, his brain supplies, as if leaving the numbers off is rude) to rope Miller into attending.

Miller blinks. Linda doesn't appear to need to. He holds his arm out robotically and receives them. He's unsure what's happening. Surely he’s still dreaming and this social fumble is just a nightmare.

"What are these for?" He asks.

"Chili cook-off. You're a taster." She says, voice cool and calm. Miller can't tell what she's thinking or feeling. Linda’s the most mysterious member of Blue Team because of her quiet and secretive nature. Beyond being the sniper, Miller isn’t really aware of any aspect of her personality. Even Chief emotes more than Linda. Miller thinks Linda lets people see exactly what she wants them to see, which is none of her, most of the time.

"What? This is what Roland was talking about?" He sighs, "I'm sorry you got dragged into this." He is genuinely apologetic. There was something of a Roland blast zone surrounding Miller and those who got too close were collateral for the AI’s whims. 

Her head tilts a fraction of a millimeter. "I'm going too." She reveals her own ticket. "See you there." And then she's gone.

Miller blinks and Linda is disappearing down the hall while he stands there like an idiot. He knows he only sees her leave because she wants him to. Why did the "see you there" sound so threatening? IIs were such different beasts from IVs, socially at least. He was fine being a handler and helping on Ops with IIs, but without Fred balancing them out, Blue Team was nigh indecipherable outside a combat setting.

Miller groans. He'd been looking forward to laying around in bed for his morning off. Now he's saddled with expectations. If he doesn't go, Roland won't allow him a moment of peace until he decides Miller's suffering has balanced the scales. He's at the mercy of a fickle AI. He knows Roland knows he knows this. He better get on with it, for his own sake.

Gunmetal gray walls and bright lights greet him as he leaves his room and exits S-Deck to the less Spartan-friendly areas of the ship. There’s a dull roar as he approaches the cafeterias and Miller sees more groups congregating than he had expected. The Forward Mess Hall is a hive of activity as Miller steps through the door. Voices drone together in a low buzz as bodies swarm different tables. Crew from every department and rank are rubbing elbows, some for the first time ever. Master Chef Lowell is conducting the competing cooks with a smile on his face. The overall mood is surprisingly light given that just a few days ago the Infinity had been boarded by Covenant and Promethean invaders.

The crew needed this. A small, lighthearted respite in the midst of a messy campaign. Miller needed this too, though he didn't sign up to be a taster for the Chili Cook-Off of his own free will. Roland signing him up looked like it would turn out to be a good thing, not that Miller could voice that where the AI could hear. Roland's ego needed no help.

Miller finds himself in a swarm of crew vying for the seats at the tables across from the cooks. He's a head taller than most of the people there, sticking out like a sore thumb. There's one Spartan competing which assuages some of his nerves - it's funny seeing Spartan Hedge in an apron that barely makes it to his upper thigh.

He's scouting for a spot to sit, one that will support his augmented weight, when someone calls his name.

"Spartan Miller?"

It's the civilian from the group that huddled in the Op Center during the invasion. The engineering contractor or something, Esparza. He waves at Miller and gestures to the empty seat next to him. Miller raises a hand to wave back and finds himself gravitating towards the table. It wasn't like anyone else was going to wave him down.

"Esparza, right? How have you been?" Miller asks as he takes a seat.

Esparza grins at the fact that Miller remembered his name. Fernando incorporates Miller into his small group near-seamlessly. “Good, good. Nice to see you again, you know, without the danger.”

“I guess that depends on the chili.” Miller laughs awkwardly. He regrets the joke immediately but it makes Esparza smile and his group mates groan goodnaturedly. 

Esparza is kind. He chuckles as Miller gingerly sits, testing to see if the seat will support him. The metal folding chair groans but holds. Esparza laughs outright at how Miller's eyes go wide at the sound and he throws his arms out to brace. It's a nice laugh. They make small talk and Miller learns he doesn’t flub every social interaction he’s a part of.

Esparza introduces him to the other people sitting around their table. Mostly civilian types, contractors and engineers. Egghead types, the commander would say, but they’re good people and Miller finds himself relaxing. He finds himself forgetting how much he sticks out and just enjoys the company. There's some words about him being the Spartan that protected the engineers during the invasion and Miller hates that he feels his face heat up. He knows the tips of his ears are red, but it feels nice to be remembered for something good for once. 

"Did you come here with anyone?" Esparza asks.

He shakes his head. "My 'friend' signed me up for this, even had someone else drop off the ticket. I thought I might see someone here but I'm not sure. She's...good at blending in."

Esparza looks curious. “Your friend made you come? They must have thought you needed a break. I’m glad you made it.” He says while gently nudging Miller’s side.

“Thanks.” Miller says,“Don’t let him hear you say that though. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Who?”

Miller looks around and lowers his voice before answering. There’s too many people and the noise should prevent him from hearing, but who knows? He’s probably watching and lip reading from some unseen camera angle. “Roland.”

Esparza looks confused for a moment. “The Ship AI?”

“Yes.” Miller says mournfully. Esparza laughs, probably at this tone and the look on his face. He knows he’s pouting.

“I have to know, why? Is it because he’s like your boss?” Esparza leans in.

“I think he just likes picking on me, specifically.”

“So he likes you.” Esparza says grinning and sitting back. He crosses his arms and the easy curve of his posture is relaxed and knowing. He looks smug.

Miller feels himself losing control of his expression. He’s affronted. “I wouldn’t say that. I think he just likes causing problems.”

“Does he pull stunts like this often?” One of the other engineers asks. Miller can’t recall her name.

“He’s always popping up on Ops. I think he thinks he’s helping. Or he gets bored.”

“He rarely talks to us. I think we saw him during onboarding, but he rarely talks to our department directly.”

“He must like you.” 

“He’s pulling your pigtails because he doesn’t know what else to do.” Esparza says with a thoughtful face before he cracks up and laughs at Miller’s bright red face.

“Thanks. A bald joke, never gotten one of those before.” He says snidely.

Esparza waves him off. “No, he likes you and he’s showing his feelings the only way he knows how. By being defensive.”

“Probably picked it up from Command.” Someone at the table whispers. Miller ignores the image of Commander Palmer that pops into his head.

“I don’t know about that.” Miller mutters. “And you guys sure know how to gang up on a guy. What happened to me being the cool Spartan?”

“We started talking to you.”

“Jeez, okay I walked into that one.” Miller sighs, crossing his arms on the table and dropping his head dramatically. Joking aside, he is having a good time. He’s used to jokes at his expense,  but this feels different. Esparza’s including him and the man’s presence is comforting. Still, he’ll play his part and act put out. Maybe he can guilt them into sharing their portions of the taste testing. 

Esparza takes pity on him and pats his arm. “There, there. Look, it’s time for the food.”

In the end, they do share food with Miller when his faster metabolism comes up in conversation. He doesn’t share too much about the augs, but it’s interesting to talk to civilian types with just enough clearance he can clear up some misconceptions. 

“I didn’t know Spartans could be nerds.”

“We’re not all meathead jocks!” Miller laughs and steals a bite of one of Esparza’s samples. “Oh, which one is that? That’s going to be my number 1.”

He tries to swat Miller’s hand and fails. Scowling, Esparza bides his time until Miller starts talking to someone else and goes for the kill. His spoon gets mere inches away from Miller’s plate before the Spartan traps his hand with his own.

“Gotta be faster than that.” He laughs.

It’s Esparza’s turn to be flustered. He wiggles his hand in Miller’s strong grip and can’t get free. Miller yields and releases him, his palm feeling cold now that it’s no longer wrapped around Esparza’s hand and wrist. He was gentle, but Esparza still cradles his hand with wide eyes before coughing and clearing his throat.

Whatever he plans to say is interrupted by an announcement of the winners. Master Chef Lowell beams and introduces the winners. Miller can see Spartan Hedge near the winner’s circle looking pleased. Miller’s favorites didn’t win but they got honorable mentions. 

Then Miller sees her. Linda materializes out of the crowd and goes over to the 4th place winners with a strange intensity. She offers them the most formal handshake Miller's ever observed and must congratulate them on their work. Bobrov beams with pride and Gomez looks a little starry-eyed as Linda 058 of Blue Team fame tells them she liked their chili the best. It honestly looks closer to a medal giving ceremony than something as low stakes as a chili cook-off.

With the event officially over and his shift starting soon, Miller excuses himself with a small smile. “Maybe we’ll run into each other soon!” He says and winces internally. 

Esparza and the others smile and say their goodbyes as well before heading towards their own parts of the ship.

Miller looks around for Linda, but doesn’t see her. He hopes she had fun. He also hopes he will get more warning before she pops up again. All the excitement is keeping him on his toes. The small break over, he still feels lighter than he has in weeks as he preps to send Crimson out into the field.

“So?” Roland asks once Miller’s seated at his station. Ask is too nice a word for it, it’s more of a demand from the AI.

“It was alright. I had fun.” Miller admits. He’s going to keep a closer eye on Roland now. Miller was considering previous conversations with Roland in a new light now. Maybe the AI was more than just bored and Miller was more than just the easiest target.

“So I was correct in making you go.”

“Maybe. If I let you set the waypoints for my Fireteams, will you stop bullying me on comms?”

“Maybe.”

It’s a start.

—

The civilians trail back towards their departments in groups, gossiping about the cook-off and who they thought should have won before the conversation turns around to focus on Fernando. He should have expected it, but honestly, he was too old for this.

"The Spartan's cute, and you guys have a great first meeting story. Why not ask him out?" One of his coworkers titters. His team had been insufferable about The Spartan That Saved Them and the moment Fernando and he had had during the crisis.

"Shhh!" Fernando waves her off and playfully scowls the others grinning at them. "He might hear you!" They were only just past the doorway to the Mess Hall.

He considers it slowly, rotating the image of the Spartan in his head and talking to Miller over the course of the last hour or so. Miller is more human and shy than he expected. Awkward. It was  funny seeing a Spartan off-kilter. He's less intimidating without the armor and he acts like he’s surprised when people like him.

"He is cute." Fernando acquiesces.

"And tall."

"And strong."

"Stop!"

“But he might be taken?”

“Yeah, you might have competition. The AI might pull your pigtails.”

“You guys are the worst. I feel like I’m back in school.”

He waves them off, but he finds his mind lingering on the Spartan as he finishes up his reports. Maybe they would see each other around. His contract on the Infinity was a longer one and there wasn’t any harm in seeing where this went.

—

Linda returns from her outing with a sense of satisfaction evident to the rest of her team. Her shoulders are relaxed and she’s talkative. Rather than return to rest from the strain of the social spotlight often aimed at the IIs, Linda seems satisfied.

Her team perks up when she returns, their body language shifting to welcome her back into their space. She has their attention and they read her posture and gestures like an open book. It went well.

“Have fun?” Kelly asks as her sister enters the room. 

Linda nods and signs the Spartan smile across her face.

John tilts his head and nods in acknowledgement. He doesn’t move off his bunk but he sits up to show he’s listening and starts mirroring her posture. 

“You know it’s not a date if both parties aren’t aware.” Fred points out from his bunk.

“Not a date. Observation.” Linda says.

“What was the speed-dating thing then?”

“Recon.”

Fred sighs. “I guess this counts as socializing. I’m glad you had fun.”

“I got some numbers.” 

“Of course you did.” Fred says and is promptly hit with a pillow. Headshot.

“Are you going to call any of them?” John asks. It’s a genuine question. Linda’s been observing and opening up to new experiences since they’ve been stationed here. If carving out time for socializing and resting in the middle of a campaign was something they did, then she would try it.

“Maybe.”

“No pillow for him? Come on.” Fred complains, but there’s mirth in his voice.

“She likes me better.” John says smugly and dodges the pillow Fred throws at him.

Maybe there was the time and space for them to branch out here. They might not have roots anywhere, not anymore, but they still had this.

Kelly makes eye contact with her and she signals “go.” The pillows fly.

[thisisnotthenerd]

got a little too bored today and started tallying up d20 cast appearances for the intrepid heroes (and brennan). this is only off of the top of my head so if i forget something don't get on me about it.

Intrepid Heroes D20 Cast Appearances, including sidequests (and BLeeM), ranked from highest to lowest:

Brennan Lee Mulligan with a total of 17/19 seasons that he has appeared in; dm/gming for 14 of those seasons. 7 of those are main cast/intrepid heroes, so assume they each have a baseline of seven.

next up is mister Lou Wilson, with a total of 10 seasons; 3 sidequests, all with guest gms. the man is a combination of dnd knowledge and commit to the bit. great with any season, but has always sidequested with brennan.

tied at nine, we have zac oyama and ally beardsley; ally featured heavily in 2021 sidequests while zac has been more recent in '22 and '23.

tied at eight we have the lovely ladies emily axford and siobhan thompson! i'm so glad siobhan has joined the ranks of intrepid heroes in sidequests, it feels like they just have a lot of fun on the shorter runs.

and in last place, mr brian 'murph' murphy. i know he's busy with naddpod but only intrepid heroes seasons? 7/19? please come on a sidequest my guy. i promise it's fun.

halfway through this process i've decided that guests are also being included now.

Guest Cast D20 Appearances, ranked from highest to lowest:

at the top of the guest list, the effervescent aabria iyengar, with 5/12 sidequest seasons! 2 seasons of gming, 3 seasons as a player, all 3 of which are in established d20 worlds e.g. spyre and calorum. assuming we have an intrepid heroes season coming up at some point in the future, murph can get a bit of a lead, but if aabria's coming on to guest more there's a very real potential that she will outcompete him. i look forward to the day.

next up: erika ishii with 4 seasons. they came on in the first sidequest and have had a steady stream of appearances since. always some kind of mage--tends towards druids/nature magic. 2/3 of her dnd appearances have been druids with an eye for creepy crawlies and the darker side of nature. he's got an aesthetic that he sticks to, and i admire that. real commitment, and not just to the bit.

tied with three we have rekha shankar and matthew mercer. ooh four-syllable names. sorry i got distracted. anyway. very excited to see rekha in desiquest, though she's a fantastic player on d20. big swings, fun character choices, a good balance of support for narrative and spotlight. and then we have matt--one season gming, but for the seasons he's played? some truly cringefail guys who learn to believe in themselves and break out of their personal depression to deliver an asskicking in their finale episode. man likes his themes.

now for the team of two (not the 2 crew) in chronological order of first appearance: mike trapp, ify nwadiwe, lily du, carlos luna, danielle radford, and izzy roland. just enough to make an average d20 table! i'm getting my fill of trapp and danielle in the current season, but seeing a table of these players together? it has potential.

and for the full list of one time appearances on d20 in chronological order of first appearance (only full seasons, not including oneshots atm):

amy vorpahl

justin mcelroy

clint mcelroy

jessica ross

griffin mcelroy

travis mcelroy

marisha ray

krystina arielle

b. dave walters

katie marovitch

sam reich

raphael chestang

grant o'brien

becca scott

persephone valentine

gabe hicks (gm!)

dani fernandez

jasmine bhullar (gm!)

omar najam

oscar montoya

surena marie

anjali bhimani

monét x change

alaska thunderfuck

bob the drag queen

jujubee

alex song-xia

freddie wong

hank green

i've devoted entirely too much thought to this. and i still have more thoughts. too many thoughts and not enough time. can't wait to see who comes on in the future! don't know if i'll edit this or make a new one. probably just edit this.

[adleryoung]

"Get up," I said warily. "And stop doing … whatever this is."

"Of course, Your Highness," Lana gushed as she got back to her feet. "Naturally you'll want to keep up appearances and continue pretending you're a moronic simpleton, but don't worry. I shan't tell a soul about your brilliant ruse."

"Are you really being seri-" I started to ask.

"Of course you must have anticipated that I would eventually piece things together. OH!" Lana clenched her hooves and grinned excitedly, which was even more horrifying than her usual irritable glower. "I passed your test! I'm … I'm a part of history now! This is such an honor!"

"You're handling this a lot … differently than I expected," I hazarded.

"Oh thank you, my liege!" she giggled. "I'm just thrilled to be part of it at last! Now that I finally know what's going on, I'm your inside ewe! Action! Suspense! Intrigue! Oh it will be magnificent! You must have a brilliant plan on what to do next. So tell me, what's the mission?"

"You're a clever sheep," I muttered. "You figure it out."

"Ooh, another test," she breathed. "I shall try. Let's see … my first impulse is to avoid the obvious, but then again if you want to lull everyone into believing you are an utter dolt, then obvious would absolutely be the way to go. No, there's always an element of the unexpected in your plans … hmm … something no sane person would ever think of doing … this is difficult."

"It's not that hard," I chided her. "Just think about what I need, and my objective becomes clear."

"What you need is for Zandar to crown you so you can lift the queen's geas and leave this circle," Lana summarized.

"And how do I accomplish that?"

"You'd send - oh, no, wait, you wouldn't because you don't want to be beholden to The Sisterhood."

"That's right," I nodded. "It has to be done without their help so it's MY victory, not theirs."

"Amazing," Lana sighed ecstatically. "You MUST be the Niknak Padiwak. But wait … without Sisterhood help, you will have to rely on lowfolk, because - as you well know - nobody else can get past the Bunkirk rabbits."

I didn't know that, but I was not about to disabuse Lana of her mistaken assessment of me. If she wanted to believe I was some sort of diabolical arch-schemer, I'd be every bit the fool she previously thought I was if I didn't use that to my advantage.

"Relying on lowfolk help means waiting for them to show up," she pointed out hesitantly. "It could take a long time."

"Elves have plenty of time," I pointed out. "And I'm very patient. I'll still be playing out my gambit long after everyone else has forgotten there was even a game on."

"That is brilliant," Lana simpered. "What do you need me to do?"

"Spread the legend of the White Elf," I replied. "I also need to find out for sure if Zandar is in that house, and if so, how she has survived. However, you are still a Sisterhood Floozy and I can't have any Sisterhood operatives involved. They already know you're working for me under our previous agreement, so how about I send you to track down Zandar's back trail. I believe she came from Sceorle Tor, so that would be the place to start."

"That's a long way away," Lana observed.

"Yes," I confirmed, trying not to chuckle. My ancestor Roland the Dutiful had sent the Skönks to that Fuma-forsaken place to get them out of the way, and his strategy could work for me as well.

[cyprejyo]

ok so

roland - bi cis guy

lilith - bi trans woman

brick - bi enby

mordecai - bi trans guy

maya - ace girl w fucked up gender (the ace part is canon btw)

salvador - ace trans guy, probably gay also

axton - trans guy + canon bi

zer0 - aroace nonbinary

gaige - xenogender girlflux pansexual tgirl

krieg - inner krieg is a transhet magiman, outer krieg's gender is violence

athena - genderqueer + canon lesbian

claptrap - canon bi, cassgender

wilhelm - doesn't give a fuck

nisha - bi trans woman

aurelia - trans lesbian (i do NOT care abt that bl3 sidequest. it doesnt exist to me.)

timothy - trans guy + canon bi

rhys - bi trans guy

vaughn - gay trans guy

fiona - lesbian demigirl

sasha - bi trans woman

zane - pansexual trans guy but his actual gender is xenic and fucked up beyond measure he just pretends to just be a trans guy

moze - trans lesbian

amara - lesbian

fl4k - nothin to say here because they are canon nonebinery AND omnisexual hell fucking yes

janey - lesbian demigirl

wainwright & hammerlock are both gay and trans men (this one's my fave, t4t old men my beloved)

tina - xenogender, girl adjacent pansexual

angel - demigirl lesbian

clay - ace pan demiguy

anu - ace demiro lesbian

octavio - bi demiguy

l0u13 - pan alloace demiguy

troy - bisexual bigender

tyreen - bi trans woman

katagawa jr - gay trans guy

handsome jack - cishet

i probably have more but i can't remember them rn xd

wainwright and hammerlock are so true i wish i knew both of them. i see fanart every now and again in the tags and im just like. ough.... breath of fresh air finally something good. (really need to figure out how to block specific tags because good lord. ive been here for years and i cannot figure this stuff out still </3) i cannot wait to meet kraig he seems so silly anyways all of these are so true i cannot wait to meet like half of these characters when i finish borderlands 2 and finally play the other games because i kept replaying pre sequal.

[archiesonicretro]

Game review: Dai Makai Mura / Ghouls N Ghosts (Sharp X68000 version)

Title: Dai Makai-Mura

Japanese Title: 大魔界村

Release Date: 22 April 1994

Platform: Sharp X68000

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Capcom

Genre: Platform Action

Number of Players: 1

Music Composer(s): Tamayo Kawamoto

——————————————————————————

Gameplay conducted using WinX68K High Speed Emulation.

"The game that brought spookiness to the platformer genre."

Daimakaimura. The game that brought spookiness to the platformer genre.

Sharp X68000. In the 90s, while most people in the West played on the Amiga, Atari ST and IBM PCs, all of which tended to get substandard arcade conversions, the Japanese were better off as they had their eyes on three computers. The Fujitsu FM Towns series, the NEC PC-98 series, and the most notorious of all - the Sharp X68000 lineup.

The FM Towns being the king of bringing CD media to PC gaming.

The NEC PC-98 series being responsible for bringing Touhou, Policenauts, various Japanese ports of Western games, and being the granddaddy of the hentai revolution where so many games on the PC-98 would be filled to the brim with porn.

The Sharp X68000 is, as the cool kids say these days, the official GANGSTA of PC gaming due to its reputation for arcade perfect ports, which is why there are so many games with arcade-perfect X68000 conversions. This, Strider, Final Fight, and many more.

Daimakaimura on Sharp X68000 is one of them.

——————————————————————————

Daimakaimura or Ghouls 'N' Ghosts as it was known in the west is the sequel to the very popular Makaimura or Ghost 'N' Goblins, in case you didn't know. The game has you set out as Arthur, our knight in shining amour. Battling demons in the hope of getting his kidnapped (again) woman back from the devil, or at least something that resembles him. Arthur must battle his way throughout eight tough platform stages, taking on all manner of zombies, ghosts and ghouls. But wait! 

You reach the end and guess what?  Yep, the bastards send you right back to the beginning to find the magic ring, which you need to defeat the last boss. Why this couldn't be told to you at the beginning of the game, I don't know. So off you set, AGAIN!  As if once wasn't hard enough. 

Thankfully, there are many weapons for Arthur to pick up that will help him on his quest. As well as the weapons, there's also the magic amour that can perform different magic depending upon which weapon you are holding.

Gameplay-wise, it's nothing more than you would expect from a Sharp X68000. Absolutely arcade-perfect.

The music? Well, being a Sharp X68000, players can configure what sort of sound would play from it. You could play it via the internal sound chip, or via the Roland SC-55 and/or MT-32 MIDI modules that upgrade the sound by a margin I can't tell, because I don't own a X68000. X68000 systems are really unreliably expensive, and the 5.25-inch floppy disks these games come on are rather fragile or have a really short shelf life.

This Sharp X68000 version is the absolute BEST version money could buy if you lived in Japan in 1994 and had a load of cash to spend. But for everywhere else, the Mega Drive version (programmed and published by Sega) is still the king.

PROS:

Being a Sharp X68000 conversion (don't forget the X68000 is a series of computers), it plays just like the Capcom arcade machine

The music, whether it be played back via the internal sound chip or the Roland MIDI modules, sound absolutely GREAT

The graphics are exactly the same as that on the Capcom arcade machine

High level of playability

Challenging enough to make gameplay last throughout the month...

CONS:

...but enemies can be a bit brutal

You get the sense the Capcom intentionally wanted to make people break tens of controllers during game production...

...and you have to play the game TWICE to get the game's true ending, which did piss people off; but Capcom could get away with it because the game is a stone-cold tough-as-balls arcade classic

Verdict:

An excellent game which is as flawless as the arcade machine.

Here is my scoring system for this game.... actually, there is no point in grading this game on gameplay, graphics, and all the other criteria because this is a rare specimen I get to play. Sharp X68000 version of Ghouls N Ghosts would have gotten a 10/10 for me, but if a new player were to play this expecting a Mario-style platformer a-la Super Mario Bros. on the NES, they're really going to be disappointed. Saying that though, it plays absolutely well, just as solid as the arcade machine, and that's all that matters when it comes to reviewing Sharp X68000 games.

So overall, Daimakaimura on the Sharp X68000 gets a score of...

9/10.

[mgmilosh]

✨ SMAC 2024 - DAY 2 ✨

On the second day, we invited our queen Ryana Violet to be our insider on the orange carpet at #SMAC2024 🍊💜

RYANA TV is at your service to ask your favorite characters about how the feel at the event.

First, we found Chase Wraiths from "The Trickster" who cosplayed Roland Holiday from "Hiding Holiday" by FLX Pictures.

💜: I remember your cosplay of Roland Holiday last year. How are you excited about new episodes coming next month?

💛: MY JAW DROPPED! I'M SO EXCITED AND I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Then, she encountered May Bradbury from "The Trickster".

💜: So how did you react to yesterday's Kiss Marry Kill answer of your voice actress @ alittlemid ?

🧡: I'll speak to my lawyer... Just kidding, that was a really tough choice and I'm ready to die for her XOXO

Not so far away, Ryana found Adam and Joanne who played Rose and Dave in "QUEST".

💜: Congratulations on your engagement, darlings!

🤍: Thank you. It's so funny that when "QUEST" came out, people were already like "oh, I hope Rose and Dave end up together".

🖤: And here we are 😁

Then, our queen bumped into another queen, Karina from "The Trickster".

💜: Apparently, you're everyone's favorite character in "The Trickster".

💖: I do my best to stay on top. Everyone loves female villains, too.

In the end, Ryana talked to Mia from "MOVE ON" about the performance.

💜: The way you changed SMAC's scene into a dance floor was so AMAZING! Everyone is so excited about "MOVE ON"!

🤍: And it's not even the beginning. It was just a warm-up 👀

And it WAS a warm-up because Mia, Caesar and Valerie just showed up in the outfits inspired by BRAT by Charli xcx. Anyone joining 💚 BRAT summer 💚?

They're setting up new trends, darlings. And I'm a trendy queen, so I wore my BRAT summer dress as well. Call me Ryana Bratty cuz I'm a BRAT.

And then we found our beloved director MG Milosh. We can't wait to see "MOVE ON" as a final product.

💚: I hope it's gonna be released on the next year's SMAC.

🖤: Umm... hopefully? If enough people kick me in the butt so I'll move on (no pun intended)

So now you know, darlings, you better kick some butt. My time is up, I love the orange carpet 🍊💜 I enjoyed myself so much that I wanna come back here tomorrow, so stay tuned because a little birdie told me that tomorrow is a cosplay day 👀

You can watch SMAC 2024 - DAY 2 here:

[loveforalexzverev]

🎤 SF on-court interview after Alexander's win over Ruud:

Transcript:

Interviewer: Sascha, congratulations. You are in your first Roland Garros final. What are the emotions? Well done.

Sascha: Yeah, can't describe the feelings, obviously. Extremely happy, especially, you know, I've got so much history on this court. Some of the best memories, some of the worst memories happened on this court. And I'm so happy to be in the final finally on my fourth semi-final. And, yeah, I'm gonna give it my all on Sunday (smiles).

Interviewer: Yeah. You look like you're playing with lots of confidence. Some of the shots you're taking on, they all go in. Are you more confident now than you've been for a few years?

Sascha: I had to -

Interviewer: Or just better?

Sascha: Well, I had to today. If I waited, you know, you saw how quickly the first set went away. And Casper is too good of a player to be waiting and to not try to play your game. I did that last year, I lost very, very easily, and I did that in the first set, lost also the first set very easily. So I knew I had to be much more aggressive, I knew that I had to take it on to him, and, you know, I did. I'm happy the balls went in today, and I'm happy to be in the final (smiles).

Interviewer: Yeah, us too. There was no handshake at the end with Casper, 'cause I think he has a stomach bug. How hard, first of all, we wish him well, how hard is it to play, because you knew there was something going on, I'm guessing?

Sascha: Yeah, I mean, look, I thought the first two sets were very high level. The first set from him, the second set fro me. And then, end of the third set, I saw that he, you know, started to move a little bit slower. You know, that's normally how it is when you're not feeling quite well.

But his shots are still the same, right? So if you just look at, maybe, how he moves and all that, and if you start to maybe be a little bit more passive and wait for it, he's gonna win the match. And, obviously, you know, credits to him to play until the end and to fight until the end. Yeah, a great champion, a great person, and definitely he's gonna be back (smiles).

Interviewer: Last question, Sascha, I'm gonna let you go after this. You have played in one Grand Slam final before at the US Open. What are some of the things that you learned from that match, or don't you wanna think about it?

Sascha: Well, I was two sets to love up and a break up, and I was two points away from winning the match. But I've said it before and I'm gonna say it now again, I was not ready, okay? I was not ready win my first Grand Slam title, I was not mature enough. I was, maybe, too much of a kid still, I didn't know what the occasion means, and that's why I lost. (Smiling) And I'm 27 years old now, so definitely not a kid anymore, already getting older. And, you know, if not now, then when? (Smiles)

Interviewer: Yeah, that's true. Well, you're easily the oldest at 27 of the four semi-finalists, that must feel very different, you are suddenly the old guy. Sinner is much younger, Carlitos younger, Casper younger. You bring so much experience onto the court at only 27 years old.

Sascha: (Smiling) Yeah, I mean, look, I've been on tour for - this is my 11th year now.

Interviewer: Wow.

Sascha: So it's been a long time, but I'm still enjoying the game, I still love every single second on these kind of beautiful courts. And I'm still trying to improve, and I'm in my first Roland Garros final, and hopefully I can, yeah, I can win my first Grand Slam (smiles).

Interviewer: Sascha, thank you very much.

Sascha: Thank you.

[wilsonwandmagician]

I think that, after the swiss man, I am now falling into the spanish rabbit hole.

I don't know why, but recently I had the opportunity to watch carlito playing live irl and... I think I love him now.

It had been *months* since the last time I'd been so incredibly anxious during a tennis match, and it was so good to feel those emotions again.

I can't wait to see him at the Roland Garros and here's to pray for a Alcaraz v Sinner Wimbledon Final.

[blueparadis]

❝Our Skin Touch & We Ignite.❞+ ( noe archiviste, vanitas, ronald fortis, Olivier, Lord Ruthven)

—»cw :: afab-reader, explicit smut, mature language, sub-dom dynamics, power play, implied manipulation & age gap, unprotected sex, creampie, f-oral, oral acts, body worship, praise kink, corruption kink, edging, orgasm denial, overstimulation, use of pet-names, branding, marking, nipple play; precis- headcanons& scenarios about “how intimate they're in bed!!”

TAP HERE TO VIEW MY WORKS.

[𖣠] — 𝐍𝐎É 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄

“Yeah, just like this”, he softly speaks guiding you over his aroused cock and as you gasp taking his cock inside your juicy hole he coos, “Atta girl”. He prefers to be the bottom but could switch gears at any moment. “You thought I was done?”, his voice is soft yet bold as he squeezes your ass cheeks making you moan. Your nails dig over his back leaving crescentindecents as he licks your nipples. His eyes don’t falter as he clamps his lips around your perked nipples before licking them. “Ohhh Noeeeh”, you call out his name in between moans, trying to catch up your breath as his grasp grows stronger making you bounce faster on his aching, twitching cock. Once he's in the heat, he won't stop until he has pulled at least four orgasms from you. “Oh baby, you did so well”, he whispers just after filling you with his thick cum up to the brim.

[𖣠] — 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐒

Vanitas can be either mean & rough or gentle & patient but he never forgets to prepare you properly before he's inside you. Vanitas loves to tease you, every part of you. He likes to watch his girl beg for him, being shamelessly needy. He won't go for penetration until you're absolutely soaked and nothing but a mumbling mess. “Yeah, you. Like that?”, he whispers as he rubs the tip of his cock over your feminity. His cock is hard, starting to grow; he just can't wait to be inside you yet he likes to watch your welled-up orbs, your frustrated whimpers as he keeps nudging your outer clit folds. It's puffy and swollen as he jockes down kissing your lips, sucking it to divert you for a while before shoving his cock without warning. He loves to hear the surprised gasp as he gets to have a last chuckle of victory.

[𖣠] — 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒

Roland is such a sweet talker. His mellowed voice along with his pouty face would get him anything. He loves you, your body scent rusting his senses as he places kisses all over your body. He likes to have you underneath him, hands hooking around your plush thighs as he gives a broad lick over your clit folds. “Awh! Don't be like that!”, he coos. His words hit your wet folds sending shivers all over your body. “You can give me another one, can't you baby?”, he asks as his grip over your butt cheeks tightens. Lips sucking your clit, tongue lapping against your dripping femininity until the bedsheets get soaked. Your hands gripping the pillow, gritted teeth trying to take what he's giving you until he finally marks your most intimate parts. He loves to mark your inner thighs, boobs, your pulse point. “Ahhhhh-aH”, you let out a low moan as his teeth meet your thighs making him pause. “Does it hurt?”, he asks, his puffy lips glistening with your juices. How could you not kiss him! Kiss him, suck his lips until he pushes you away: that's the kind of reassurance he needs.

[𖣠] — 𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑

Olivier likes to take you from the back. Whether you're pressed up against the wall or on the bed, his grip on your waistlines grows stronger while he fucks you like his ragdoll. His thrusts are deep and strong; he likes to see you absolutely wrecked under his influence. “Oh gwad! you feel -so gu’d-just so gu’d”, he barely mumbles as his arms slowly roam over your body making their way to grope your breasts, fondling them as he takes a breather. “You think you can take more of me, huh princess?”, he whispers against your ears as you try to catch your breath, moans fuming at each passing moment over your lips. He skims through your wavy locks arching your face to get a quick look on your face. “Look at you, always so ready for me.”, he remarks and before you could say something he kisses your lips, fingers pinching your nipples as you whimper out a moan. “Just a little longer, baby!”, he coos as he bucks up your hips ready to slam his cock again, to fill your womb with his seed until your legs shake. And oh dear! How he loves to hear your moans and screams; “Let me know how good my cock feels, angel”, he would hiss if you cover your mouth with your hands or bury your face in the pillow.

[𖣠] —𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐊𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐕𝐄𝐍

Lord Ruthven is a man of fine taste. He wants you to be dressed up pretty, sitting on his lap as he studies. You're supposed to sit on his lap, taking his cock inside your juicy hole like a good girl. And don't you dare move, because if you do, he'll rub your puffy folds until you're squirting soaking his pants. “Did I tell you to sit naked?”, he remarks tartly keeping aside his book. While your shy muscles try to get rid of the upper, he tucks it down along your waistline.“So beautiful”, he mumbles eyeing you up and down running his hands down from your neck until he reaches your belly button. He grabs your thighs pulling you closer, nudging your spot making you a jolt. Your hands clamp on his broad shoulders as you let out a meek moan. “Awh! Don't be so afraid. ’m not gonna bite”, he says kissing your neckline making it hard for you to breathe, making it so hard not to moan. “unless you ask for!”, he adds licking your pulse point as try to buck your hips, pressing your boobs against his chest. “Getting restless, aren't we kitten?”, he whispers as he digs his teeth into your neckline and finally sucks before pulling away making your vision glassy. “Don’t worry Angel, we've all the time in the world”, he coos swiftly placing you underneath him on the couch ready to pound until he fills you upto the brim.

tags—@hanemiso @haitaniapologist @zoraedits @arlertslove

networks— @underratedcharactercorner @downtown-roponggi @tokyometronetwork

[multiverseforger]

Fav game character

Tina and her parents were sold to Hyperion to become test subjects for Jack's slag mutation experiments, an event which led to the deaths of her parents. She escaped their fate using a grenade that she had hidden in her dress at her mother's insistence, and once she was free of Hyperion's reach she vowed revenge on the man that had sold her family: Flesh-Stick.

Involvement

Borderlands 2

Tiny Tina's demolitions expertise is called into action when a Hyperion supply train believed to be carrying a Vault key needs to be stopped. With that objective in sight, she then sets the Vault Hunters to the task of finding two rockets (which she refers to as 'badonkadonks') to carry a 'suicide'-bomber toy each, and then to set them on target.

Her collaboration with the Vault Hunters continues when she has them gather items and guests for a very special tea party. During the final mission Tina will contact the Vault Hunters and wish them luck in stopping Hyperion and even reads them a poem repeatedly telling the Vault Hunters to 'kill Jack'.

Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Carnage

Tina appears in a supporting role in Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Carnage. Initially she is hired by Mad Moxxi to help the Vault Hunters train prior to battling Motor Momma, but also asks their assistance in obtaining the autograph of her third favorite mass-murderer, Sully the Stabber, as well as walking her "puppy", a Badass Fire Skag named Enrique. She also provides commentary on many of the Vault Hunters' actions throughout the course of the DLC.

Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep

Tina takes on the role of the 'Bunker Master' for the game 'Bunkers & Badasses', where she is shown to be bad at this, by fumbling in such ways as creating impossible fights early on and not balancing the gameplay in certain areas. The real problems underlying Tina's mental state (at that time) start becoming more apparent as the player progresses, being obsessed with eating only crumpets and constantly trying to insert a manifestation of the now deceased Roland whenever she wants to, to the dismay of the other Vault Hunters. Tiny Tina's character develops over the course of the campaign and she learns to accept Roland's death.

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel

Tina makes her first appearance during the game while Lilith was interrogating Athena, inviting the Vault Hunters to play another round of Bunkers and Badasses, but was turned down. Later, after Athena finishes telling her story, Tina introduces herself and requests Athena to tell a story about fighting a raid boss. As she had no idea what a raid boss was, she "came up" with a story about fighting one (in this case, the raid boss being an enhanced version of The Sentinel). After that, Tina requests Athena to tell the story of her working for Handsome Jack again.

Borderlands 3

At the time of Borderlands 3, Tina is presumed to be around 20 years old. She is still part of the Crimson Raiders B-Team along with Brick and Mordecai. The team is hired by Wainwright Jakobs to rescue his partner Sir Hammerlock, but after they fail to report back on their progress, Jakobs requests the Vault Hunter to go The Anvil to investigate setting up the story mission Hammerlocked. Tina's code name during the mission is 'Crunk Bunny'. Tina requests 'ingredients' for her 'Pizza' (bomb), composed of 'sauce' (nitroglycerin), 'onions' (wires) and 'ham' (a detonator). She then asks the Vault Hunter to deliver the pizza, which is to blow up the door to the structure where Hammerlock is being held. After successfully rescuing Hammerlock, she declares that the B-team's work is done and they leave Eden-6. Tina is found later on Devil's Razor back on Pandora, where she or Brick will give the mission Boom Boom Boomtown. She asks the Vault Hunter for help in winning back their new home and base of operations, recently named by Tina as "Boom Town", by fighting off COV that have been sneaking in thru a tunnel that Brick is keeping the COV locked inside.

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Appearances

Borderlands 2

Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Carnage

Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep

Commander Lilith & the Fight for Sanctuary

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel

Borderlands 3

Quotes

"Come on iiiin, you are missing the Fuun!"

"All around the Sta-actus plant, the stalker chased the bandit, the stalker thought 'twas all in fun - POP! Goes the bandit!"

"Oh haiiii!"

"Roland told me you were comin' - I still owe him for all that buttcrap with General Rancid. So, you gotta hijack a train, hunh? Chiiild's play! Lemme introduce you to my ladies."

"Runnin', runnin', runnin', I'm runnin' over here, run, run, run-run, run."

"This here's Mushy Snugglebites, and this is Felicia Sexopants. These fiiiine-ass womens could stop that train for yas, but I'ma need their badonkadonks first, and they got stoled by the bandits a few days ago. Go get 'em!"

"Naptime!"

"That's right, bitches - my big brudder's about to teach you some MANNERS. Nobody steals Mushy Snugglebites' badonkadonk and lives!"

"That's Mushy Snugglebites' badonkadonk. She's my main squeeze. Lady's got a gut fulla' dynamite and a booty like POOOW!"

"Got the badonkadonks? Best day evaaaa. Bring 'em back here and I'll use 'em to make some fine-ass damsels who can hijack that train for yas."

"Hey I told ya'z to get outta heeya, get out or do I gotta shank a bitch?"

"Get-outta-my-shop-or-I'll-punch-yo-butt. That's-how-Tiny-Tina-roll."

"(Singing) Put a little bomb in the hot ass damsel, blow stuff up and make people die."

"I'm a little teapot, bloody and cut. Here is my handle and here is my butt.*explosion noise* Oops."

"Squishy. Squishy squishy squishy."

"Oh daaaaaayum, you lookin' good, ladies. Let's get to work."

That's right. Twin sisters, man. Hhhahhhhhh. Take 'em. Take 'em take 'em take 'em take 'em."

"Just put my damsels near the choo-choo track and set 'em off! Good plan? Great plan!"

"You're cordially invited BITCH!!!"

"When you are ready to begin the Tea-Party, please smack Mister Flesh Stick in his bitch face."

"Gonna eat so many goddamn crumpets, it's going to be a Crumpocalypse."

"Ten... Nine..." *launches rockets* "I got bored."

"BURN ALL THE BABIES!!!!!"

(Cute yawning noise)

"Make it RAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!"

"Sup, sucka? It's Tina. I wrote you a poem and it goes a little somethin' like this BREAK IT DOWN. Ahem. Kill Jack. Kill Jack. Kill Jack kill Jack kill Jack KIIIILL JAAAAACK! Kill Jack. A poem by Tiny Tina."

"Climb the pipe to the train or you'll go insane wut wut. That's a rap song I wrote."

"Get some cookies, so you can eat 'em and grow up big and strong and kick Piston in the butt-butt."

"Real badasses eat chocolate chip cookies, I'ma gonna get that tattooed across my back in Old English font."

"Wait a minute. Those cookies weren't chocolate chip. Those...are...raisins. WHYYYYYY-HY-HYYYYY?! SHAWTY, DESTROY ALL THE FOOD DISPENSERS! WIPE THE RAISIN ABOMINATIONS OFF THE MAP! I JUST WANTED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES! WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?"

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. Do you know who just arrived in Beatdown? SULLY THE STABBER! He's my THIRD favorite mass-murderer in the ENTIRE WORLD! You HAVE to go get his autograph for me."

"Get his signature on this. Please. PLEASEpleasepleasepleasepleaseplease! If you don't get his autograph I'm gonna DIEEEEE. He's my favoritest. He killed every living person on the Bathymas with nothing but a rusty butterknife. If you don't take it I'm gonna start crying. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. [making a song out of it] oh-baby please please PLEASE! That was 'Please' by Tiny Tina with Vault Hunter on bass."

"He said...no? Well. There's only one thing to do -- look him in the eye, nod politely, and KILL THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF HIM!"

Commander Lilith & the Fight for Sanctuary

While idle

Some of the idle chats are mission related and can't be heard again once the mission in question is completed.

"You come up in my face, and you DON'T GOT BOMB PARTS, you KNOW I'm throwing hands."

"Oh, hello! I didn't see you there. I was just on an important mission to save my friends and AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THE SAME THING?!"

"Gonna go blat-blat-blat on the vine-freaks. \n Rat-tat-tat till their brain leaks. \n Chill, girl, just droppin' some bars. Go do the thing."

"I wanna shoot the cannon again! AGAIN! But Lil said no. BLEEPING CURSE WORDS!"

"You kiddos killed that butt-bot so, so good! (cackle) Butt-bot."

"Come on, Mordy. You got this! You gonna be all right."

"MORDY'S ALL BETTER AND ELLIE FIXED THE CAMP'S COFFEE MACHINE AND I CAN'T STOP YELLING ABOUT EITHER ONE OF THOSE THINGS!"

"Yo yo yo. You kill that vineyman up on vineyville yet?"

"I left some reeaaal sexy bombs back on Sanctuary. Oh, just thinkin' bout 'em... come on, think about 'em with me. Yeeeeeah. Together now. Hohhhhh."

"That. Was. The BIGGESTEST BOOM OF ALL TIME! Gotta give it to Lilly-of-the-valley, she knows how to kill a baddo in style."

"Seriously, though. Vaulty-Vault, you was there for me in the dark times. That's fo' life."

"So, just saying, it's probably my birthday, and you ain't got me nothing. Mini-moonshot cannon. Just wanna put that in your head."

Notes

The photo of Tina and Roland

She is introduced as an old friend of Roland's and she has a picture of them together in her room. Roland also mentions beforehand that, "I've saved her life a few times, and she has saved mine more times than I can count."

In Borderlands 2, there are a few unique weapons that are associated with Tiny Tina. These weapons include pink hearted camouflage and/or stuffed bunny image decals.

Teapot

Cobra

Boom Puppy

Tina's voice is performed by Ashly Burch, sister of Anthony Burch - lead writer of Borderlands 2. (The two are also a part of the web series Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'?.) She is also credited with the voice of the cursed gun, Bane.

Tina has unusual gender-specific dialogue, referring to both male and female Vault Hunters as "girl". She also makes a number of sexual comments in an appreciative manner in regards the female members of her tea party, whilst during the Assault on Dragon Keep storyline she confesses to liking Maya in The Siren's invitation, asking if Maya likes her in turn. Additionally, her original motivation for helping the Vault Hunters train for Mad Moxxi was going to be due to her having a crush on Mad Moxxi.

Tina switches verbal mannerisms frequently. Her speech styles include a stereotypical inner-city American speech pattern, little girl speech patterns, stereotypically pretentious British English speech, to randomly violent and murderous speech, and others.

Trivia

There is an Easter egg related to Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? in the Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Carnage. On the back of Tiny Tina's bus is a pixel drawing of Papa Burch riding a unicorn from the HAWP episode 'Sleep Is Death'.

Roland recognizes her as one of the greatest demolitions experts on Pandora and a picture of the two can be seen inside of her home.

Tiny Tina is mentioned by Brick on a mission in Sawtooth Cauldron as he recalls carrying her on his shoulders as they fought together. In the end credits, it is shown that they worked together again in this manner cleaning out the remaining Hyperion forces.

ExotropiaTina has an intermittent exotropia (lazy eye) in her left eye. This was originally due to a glitch, but the developers enjoyed it, so they purposefully left it in. This has also passed on to Borderlands 3, as her left eye will occasionally twitch while talking.

In NowGamer, an interview revealed that there is part of a mission removed from the main game involving Tina. Originally, when telling of Roland's death, the players were to head out to Tiny Tina's home and tell her the sad news. It described her being deeply affected by it, thanking the players for telling her, asking them to leave, and locking herself in her workshop to mourn. Anthony Burch, lead writer and the source of this news, says they regret they could not include this scene into the game. It was supposed to be the only moment in the game she loses her peppy mania [1].

Her tea party place card is labeled "Lady Tina of Blowupyourfaceheim"

On May 24, 2013, Tina took over the @ECHOcasts Twitter (previously owned by Krieg).

Tiny Tina's parents have officially been confirmed dead as of the sixth episode of Inside the Box, entitled "Fart Jokes and Tragedy".

In the Commander Lilith & the Fight for Sanctuary DLC, Tiny Tina, Mordecai and Brick form a team simply named "The B-Team".

Tiny Tina refers to Brick as "Brick-papa" and Mordecai as "Mordy-mom". This is further mentioned when Brick says "Don't talk like that to your mom." to Tina.

It is revealed in Sheega's All That that Sheega is an ex-girlfriend of Tiny Tina.

ECHO logs in Devil's Razor reveal that Tiny Tina has dated multiple individuals, broke up with all of them, and staged a wedding to make money from the wedding gifts sent by her exes.

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[linawritesocs]

how my ocs would react to their tsum tsums!

yes, i had wish upon a star thoughts, but.. tsum tsums. TSUM TSUMS!! they're more important <3

allen i swear i'm gonna post your birthday ssr tomorrow DON'T CRY

avery: .. what is this. what is this thing. why does it look so much like him? AND WHY IS IT SO CUTE?? IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS CUTE. avery finds it cool how his tsum has the exact same interests as him, he saw tsum avery jumping excitedly every time it saw flowers it was hard to make it leave heartslabyul's rose garden though and tsum avery sure likes sweets a lot. he just wishes it would stop stealing avery's favorite romance novels and showing them to everyone.

vance: at first, he's VERY confused. he already saw some other tsums and he thought that other students turned into these.. creatures and he has to help them somehow, but he's here!! and his tsum is here!! so how can they exist at the same time?? you know, he's just gonna accept it. he doesn't have to think too hard about it. he's carrying his tsum around all the time and he loves it SO MUCH. it's just so cute?? look at it!! hey, hey, which one is cuter, real vance or tsum vance? but wow, his tsum is so active, it's always jumping and rolling around.. ah, don't hurt yourself, tsum vance! wait, can it even feel pain?

merrill: just accepts it and goes with it. he takes as many pics with his tsum as he can and he gets excited when he realizes that his tsum can change outfits and hairstyles. whoa, some of its outfits are also cosplays? hehe, it really is merrill's tsum. he can take its glasses off too?? merrill is gonna spend the whole day in his room playing with his tsum, he knows that it sounds childish, but.. you don't get a chance to play with a plushie of yourself that often, do you? also merrill laughs every time his tsum tries to fight idia.

allen: same as merrill, just accepts it. tsum allen is so adorable, he wants to poke it and hug it! and it has a little felt knife, how fitting is that? wait, it has a whole collection of felt knives?? allen is gonna have so much fun choosing a knife for his tsum. and his tsum likes to write too!! it's just a bit hard with its tiny arms.. oh, his tsum gets cold easily too.. he gives tsum allen a scarf, so that it stays warm!

roland: he.. doesn't like that tsum roland acts a lot like his past self. it's more aggressive, it keeps causing chaos and it refuses to listen to real roland. it only calms down when it sees the gardening club, roland wonders why. it even looks kinda sad.. he shouldn't think about it too deeply. he should think about the fun parts instead! even though their personalities are different, tsum roland also likes muffins and knitting! oh, it doesn't like dirt that much, roland can relate.

fake!jay: POOR TSUM JAY. THIS GUY IS GONNA TAKE SO MANY NOTES ABOUT IT. he won't leave tsum jay alone, he will ask it as many questions as he can, hoping that he will get at least some answers. but also jay can't help but get distracted while taking his notes, because tsum jay looks so soft.. he will poke it, but only once. okay, maybe twice. tsum jay's reactions are so cute.. ahem, he should probably write those down. oh, tsum jay is also writing something in its tiny notebook? interesting..

real!jay: he probably doesn't even know that it's his tsum, he just wakes up, sees tsum jay, hugs it and goes back to sleep. when he's finally awake, he starts noticing that his tsum looks just like him and it has the same low level of energy. also what's with his tsum being scared of grass? never mind, he gets it. his tsum probably just doesn't like being outside. wait, tsum jay also has dark circles?? how can a plushie have those?? that's so interesting- ugh, he sounded just like his clone right now.

austin: .. don't mind him, don't pay any attention to him, he's just gonna take tsum austin and poke it, hug it, squish it, cuddle with it.. but only in his room, he can't let anyone see him like this. austin feels kinda weird hugging a plushie of himself, but hey, it's still a plushie. so he has to give it lots of love, right? to his surprise, tsum austin doesn't like working with machines that much and finds it boring. it likes to draw much more and its drawing skills are actually really good for a plushie. maybe his tsum is kinda like his real self- wait, tsum austin, leave merrill alone! huh, it actually likes merrill? THAT'S EVEN WORSE.

minnie: LOVES IT SO MUCH. carries it around in a cute and comfortable bag and proudly calls herself tsum minnie's mother. oh, look at tsum minnie fighting all the male students. it's just like its mom, haha.. w-why is it not fighting sebek? never mind, maybe real minnie and tsum minnie are more different than she thought. tsum minnie also doesn't like grim that much and it keeps following him everywhere, trying to scare him. minnie just lets it run around, she never liked grim as well.

hayden: .. his brain can't understand it at all. why is there a plushie of him. why is it moving. and their personalities are so different, it just can't be hayden's "real self"! why does it keep trying to become friends with everyone, including both other tsums and students? and it doesn't seem like it's trying to manipulate everyone, it really wants to be friends with them.. also it keeps getting excited whenever it sees horses or desserts.. ugh, hayden just can't deal with it. oh well, at least it also likes to read and its too focused on a book to continue jumping around. reading with tsum hayden is actually kinda calming..

riley: ah, he has a tsum now. cool. THAT'S HIS WHOLE REACTION. he likes his tsum a lot and he keeps saying how soft it is and how nice it feels to hug it. it also has a tiny felt bat! riley wonders why his tsum keeps attacking everyone with his bat though. it's more violent than he thought it would be. oh, tsum riley also wants to become closer with tsum allen, but tsum allen hates it.. riley knows how it feels. whoa, tsum riley can also play rhythm games too? they really are similar..

angel: not surprised at all and doesn't find it weird. the moment they see tsum angel, they become best friends and angel keeps showing their tsum to everyone, calling it their child. tsum angel is just as fun-loving as real angel, it does whatever it wants and it doesn't care what everyone else thinks. it also causes a lot of problems for bunny.. angel wonders why their tsum looks very sad sometimes. should they hug it to make it feel better?

bunny: at first she tried to understand why there's a tsum bunny now, but then she gave up and just accepted it. she's glad that tsum bunny is just as organized as she is and likes to keep everything in order. it's also so punctual? bunny wishes her dorm members were like that. oh, speaking of alice dorm members, tsum bunny HATES them and keeps attacking them every time it sees them. and when they ask why tsum bunny is like that, real bunny is just.. LOOKING AWAY. tsum bunny also doesn't like tsum angel that much.. bunny just sighs and goes "same".