#I can't wait for like 0 people to read this
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What's Spidys relationship like with the other NY bound heros?
Got a bunch of other hero asks so it's time for Ye Olde Lore Dump!
Johnny and H!Spiderman have never gotten along- in either universe.
They don't even really have any real beef with each other, they're just two dudes who grate on each other's nerves for no particular reason- like two guys at a frat party who are just waiting for an excuse to duke it out.
There's just something about Johnny's playboy easy-come-and-go vibe that makes Spidey want to plant a fist in his face. And Johnny thinks Spiderman is a fucking buzzkill.
Black Widow and Spiderman have a good working relationship. He once helped her out of a tight spot in New York and he was fast, smart and discreet about it- so when she's got some ops she needs a second pair of hands for (under the table), she calls him.
Spiderman admires Nat's competence and single-minded focus in getting things done- they all appeal to the hunter in him. (And he's got a massive crush on her.)
They usually do one or two jobs every few months, and meet up for drinks at one of her safehouses. She's also knows his secret identity, because she's just that scary.
Logan and Peter are BFFs. For real. Logan was in town to help with some shit that ended up involving Deadpool and found himself at St. Margaret's.
He and Peter struck up a friendship that ends up with them going camping every couple of months for a week or so.
Logan likes Peter's no-bullshit sincerity and can tell he's had some shit(TM) go down in his life. Peter's easy to talk to and is good at reading the room. And Peter feels like Logan fills in that space Marko left as a friend/mentor/gruff bro figure.
Logan actually picks up when Peter calls. (most others he leaves on read).
Fun fact, he has no idea Peter is Spiderman.
And another fun fact, it's not Johnny Deadpool is jealous of, it's Logan.
Peter has a very complicated relationship with the Avengers.
On one hand, he knows what they do and what they stand for- on the other hand, he's got a real problem with authority figures. He's been invited to the Avengers multiple times, in both realities.
The answer is always blanket N.O. (And, depending on whether it's stark asking, accompanied by a giant middle finger). (Though he's reluctantly agreed to have an avenger's phone in case there are any massive threats they need help with).
As for the members:
Stark gets on his nerves like nothing else. He's not super easy to rile up, but Stark's playboy arrogance (real or not), way he talks down at people, the self-appointed authority, the entitlement, and, of course, the fucking hypocrisy- it makes Spidey go 0 to 'cashmeoutside' immediately.
He and the Captain sometimes get along, but mostly when the Captain isn't in one of his preachy, pontificating moments. They do work very well together in a combat capacity, but they don't have much to talk about.
Thor is fine, but completely outside of Spidey's sphere and also, difficult to work with given his powers.
Bruce and Spidey just don't have much to talk about, and once again, Hulk is way too loud and can't particularly coordinate when they have to team up.
In general, H!Spiderman gets along with the more 'loner' heroes like Murdock, Deadpool, Black Widow, Bucky, Logan, Clint and so on.
(Side note, imagine he said all these shots fired shit to the Avengers and they were like 'no? none of this happened?' because it's not the same reality and Spiderman has to go home and die from the cringe???) (no we'll let him be cool for this)
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Once again, thank you so much for the asks!! I really appreciate all the love this AU has gotten and I hope these answers satisfy!!!
#hunting!spider#spiderman#deadpool#spideypool#wolverine#black widow#the avengers#iron man#thor#captain america#johnny storm#sorry no bromance/romance with Johnny#same shit that makes him want to punch Stark makes him want to punch Johnny.#Every time they're in a room they're fighting demons not to just start fighting#he'd literally do anything for a chance with Black Widow#Hunting!Spider is adrenosexual- anyone who keeps his spider senses at a low constantly tingle is immediately crushzoned
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#very random (not snz) haha but#does anyone else feel like their social battery fluctuates like. 0 to 100 with no middle ground or is this perhaps something wrong with me#i will go for weeks without having the social energy to talk to people i love and treasure 😭#maybe it's a lack of dopamine in general idk... would not be thrilled to add another mental illness to the list#but then i'll have a night where i am super talkative and happily reply to half the people i've been talking to#or times when i send off all my responses and sit at my laptop like when are my friends going to reply 🙂 i can't wait to talk to them 🙂#i apologize if you have personally been on the receiving end of my extreme inconsistency 😭#i have been thinking about it recently and i think that's in part the reason why i also gravitate towards long form conversations;#it feels mentally easier for me to deliver a meaningful response once in a blue moon than like sustain that level of#conversational depth on a more consistent basis? because i am inconsistent#but sometimes in the long wait between responses (which i have arguably played a large role in establishing) i feel unexpectedly social and#then feel strangely lonely 😭 (🤡)... truly i feel like i am lowkey a badly adjusted adult#this is not a catastrophizing post (though i did catastrophize slightly more over it in past weeks); just passive musings atp#i go through similar flows with artistic motivation but the highs and lows are not synced with my social energy at all#i think i am someone who likes to analyze my habits just as a whole because i really enjoy optimizing for things 😭 so this tendency in#particular really perplexes me#delete later perhaps because i know this is truly a yap post. (i apologize)#i met with a friend earlier irl and this might be the remnants of the social energy from seeing her or it might be a function of#the drink i had (strawberry matcha 🥰) if you have read this far i apologize personally
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John Darling Through The Ages:
This is post number 3 for this project! I am making a crossover AU with high school AU undertones for Peter Pan, Milo and the Phantom Tollbooth, the Wizard of Oz, and Alice in Wonderland (Too much fantastical stuff will happen for me to think of it as just a high school AU). Long story short, all the main kids from these stories end up in the same town and going to school together after their fantastical adventures.
Posts for Wendy, Alice, Michael, Dorothy, and Milo! More information about this AU will be under the cut. The art without the fact file will be at the bottom.
Chicken Scratch Translator (boxes in the order they should be read):
[Neverland Era. Age: 9. Source: Doodles from Milo Johnson's school notebook]
[Notes: A precocious and curious boy who is fascinated with both life and fiction, and everything that may be possible. He is adventurous and wants to see and do everything, but he does have more common sense than most his age, and feels pressured to be "the responsible one."]
[Gay Theatre Kid Era. Age: 16. Source: Dorothy Gale's Digital Journal]
[Notes: Leaned into both his zest for life and his absolute nerdiness by being a dedicated theatre kid. Although he's a good student at heart, he often slacks off or misbehaves to piss of his dad, who puts a little too much stock in John being his most academically inclined child. Out and proud gay, although he exaggerates the flamboyance for a variety of reasons.]
[Dork with a Day Job Era. Age: 26. Source: Michael Darling's lockscreen photo, taken when he first saw John's workplace in person]
[Notes: John managed to surprise everyone by choosing to become an accountant. His genuine love for math, statistics, and keeping things organized certainly help, but his favorite parts are all the strange and wonderful people he gets to meet. Although he is very good at his job, he absolutely refuses to adhere to a dress code or even attempt to hide his dorky, nerdy personality.]
Also, the second photo has context that's not immediately clear: John fell asleep in class and his friends spray painted his glasses orange then recorded his reaction.
Extra AU Information (tentatively named The CrossRoads)!
1. This AU takes place primarily during their time in high school and sometime between the 90s and 2010s.
2. I get to do what I want, so I decided the Darlings are 1/4 Japanese, from their maternal grandmother.
3. The Darling kids and Alice still lived in England during their original adventures, but moved to America sometime after for reasons I have not fully decided on yet. Dorothy is still from Kansas and Milo is from an indeterminate area in American Suburbia.
4. Their school is 7-12. Michael and Alice are 8th Graders, John and Milo are sophomores, and Wendy and Dorothy are seniors.
5. I'm mixing source materials! The canon I'm building from is the books for Alice and Wonderland and Milo and the Phantom Tollbooth, the Warner Bros Movie for Wizard of Oz, and some unhinged combination of the book, the Disney movie, and the stageplay for Peter Pan, skewing towards the Disney movie. This is almost entirely due to my familiarity with the source materials, but I do have a couple other reasons that I may specify in a later post.
6. Just because I don't specify a character's sexuality in their "file" doesn't mean they are automatically straight! John is specified as gay because leaning into gay stereotypes is a big part of his teenage personality and life experience.
7. More specifically, Wendy and Dorothy are some flavor of sapphic and will be shipped (I haven't decided exactly what their identities are, and to be fair, they probably haven't either during the main period of this au). Milo is aspec, and there will be some aspec version of a John/Milo ship. Alice is a raging pansexual and Michael is straight and also too busy to care.
8. Neverland, Wonderland, Oz, and The Lands Beyond will all factor in and be visited, but equal focus will be given to the regular high school parts of the story
9. These information files exist in story, but it's a secret who's writing them! :)
10. I didn't have room for it in the fact file, but adult John is also a LARPer, cosplayer, and convention-goer.
Here are the pictures of John without the fact file!
#Project: The CrossRoads#giraffe's ramblings#my art#fan art#Peter Pan#john darling#john darling fanart#Peter Pan fanart#peter pan crossover#peter pan fanfiction#fanfiction#crossover fanfiction#digital art#highschool au#i guess#I am thrilled that this looks like one of my projects that not a single soul cares about but me#the last posts are literal main characters who got 2-3 notes#nobody cares about John so I expect this to stay a 0 note post unless someone drops a like or something just to be contrary#Don't worry John#you're one of my blorbos now#there will be no escaping from my brain!#I can't wait until we get to Milo and the Phantom Tollbooth stuff and literally nobody knows what I'm talking about#since all evidence suggests that I have met the only 6 people who ever read it#and am already aware of the 20 people who have watched the movie
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Working in customer service type jobs is my villain origin story
#please be nice to customer service type people when you are asking for help#like seriously it takes 0 effort to just say please help me with this#instead of pulling a karen the customer is always right you clearly can't read bullshit#at least i am wfh today so i can actually say the audacity of this bitch out loud like i almost did in office yesterday#just waiting for the 'do you know how much i pay to be here' comments#no. no i don't know nor do i care. spending money does not entitle you to be an asshole#did my last job have issues? oh gods yes. but at least i didn't have to deal with customer service type shit
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ok very interesting quest in hsr
#theyre getting better at this writing shit#hsr spoilers#tho i think dh and jy was still kinda random lol i guess it made sense since it was a dream(?)...#i haven't seen enough people crying abt misha but to me. its sadge we can't see him on the train anymore :( but he got#his wish.... he talks abt always wanting to go on the express and traveling and he did it.... he made it!! so im happy for him :')#aven pisses me off lowkey ipc hater group. whatever tho#i like where they went w robin so now i'll just wait for sunday#also the boss design is so nice and cool and very reminscent of ena but fuck the gameplay oh my god i hated fighting sundays mecha body#so much .... i swear if robin's gonna need those materials i'll just be like . 🧍♀️#much to think about though. at the same time i actually have no idea what happened and need to read a plot summary#hsr#they also need to stop putting elements that i don't have built like genuinely besides gui.naifen and hime.ko i have 0 fire chars#and id rather not use ms train navigator bc she doesn't seem good against bosses#robin and sunday are intriguing and so is boothill.... neutral on fire.fly but i guess she's alright at least she improved from getting#murdered for shock value in 2.0#ramblings!#oh one more thing sunday apologist i dont think what he did was necessarily right i just want to chew on him like a toy#hoyo loves their characters falling out of giant robots#chicken wing boy pls be playable i'll pull he's so funky a bit in over his head but we love a biblical coded guy w savior complex#oops edit: also wtf is the state of the family rn we kinda just fought sunday fought sunday again for real this time and then he fell#and penacony went back to reality??? or what? maybe i'm not comprehending or maybe there's another part to this???????
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ᡣ𐭩 CHIVALRY FELL ON ITS SWORD
FEATURING: dazai osamu
SUMMARY: history always repeats itself. dazai is captured, you're facing enemies on all fronts, and it's only a matter of time before you hit your breaking point. you can't let things turn out the same way they did two years ago. you can't—you'll do whatever it takes.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: happy friday my peeps, i hope your week has been good. ive been looking forward to this chapter for sooooo long so i hope you enjoy ;) unfortunately, there will be no wykyk update this week (i mean it this time), i've fallen behind in civzai and really need to focus on it. reblogs and comments greatly appreciated as always!! ENJOY!
GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, port mafia executive!reader, civilian!dazai, dazai's struggles w suicide & sh, reader partakes in mafia business, dazai isn't dazai without a bit of obsessiveness and possessiveness (the possessiveness doesn't come til later but the obsessiveness starts from day 0).
CHAPTER SPECIFIC WARNINGS: hardly edited. depictions of psychological torture (commit by reader), both reader and dazai are wildly unstable, mori is a bit of a cunt LOL, a bit of legal proceedings in the beginning but i didn't want to deep dive into japanese court proceedings so i just based it mostly off us court proceedings, but again, not entirely accurate because i'm not in that field and didn't feel like doing intense research.
ANOTHER THING TO NOTE: our lovely reader IS A MAFIA EXECUTIVE !! as a port mafia executive, she does port mafia things, this will become very apparent in thIS chapter and the rest of the upcoming chapters. it might be a bit jarring to read but it is something to keep in mind. additionally, she is FLAWED. i wanted to add this warning just to give you all a bit of a heads up.
SEE: WASTELAND, BABY! SERIES MASTERLIST
“... Your Honor, I have to object to counsel’s petition for bail, the defendant…”
“... If I may, Your Honor, we don’t even know how this footage was obtained and the prosecution has not acknowledged any of our requests to ensure that this is reliable. For all we know, this footage is edited or illegally obtained. It would be a disgrace to our justice system if we were to keep the defendant detained with no bail…”
“... not only a flight risk, but we’re risking witness and evidence tampering. Respectfully, this isn’t an unarmed robbery the defendant is being accused of, Your Honor, this woman is a threat to public safety, she’s being charged with connection to the most dangerous criminal organization in the Eastern Hemisphere, and not just as any ordinary member, but as an executive. I have to insist-”
“Your Honor, the defendant shouldn’t have even been brought into custody considering all current evidence might not be admissible. And the prosecution cannot sit here making baseless claims of risk when the only supporting evidence is inadmissible. I don’t even understand why I have to sit here and argue this.”
“Counsel seems to think-”
“Enough. Order. I’ll sustain the ob-”
“Your Honor… I don’t mean to interrupt but you may want to see this before…”
“What is it, Hasegawa-san?”
“... I see, very well. The defense’s petition for bail is granted. Bail will be set at one hundred and fifty million yen, bond at thirty million yen. The next hearing will be set for two weeks out, I trust that gives the prosecution enough time to prove the legitimacy of the evidence…”
“Don’t look at any of the cameras.”
“No shit,” you mutter as your attorney, Tachibana, leads you from the courthouse to where a car is waiting to pick you up.
There are so many flashing lights and microphones in your face that you can hardly see a few steps in front of you. So many people talking that each question melds into the next. You couldn’t entertain the media even if you wanted to with them all talking over each other to shout at you. Your head hurts and the bright lights aren’t helping—you grimace as you turn your head to the side but you’re only met with another face full of cameras and microphones.
“Back up,” a familiar voice booms and at once, the tension in your body dissipates as Iceman shoulders his way through the crowd toward you. The man sneers at a paparazzo who tries to cut him off and all but knocks him out of the way to reach forward and grab your wrist, yanking you toward him.
He ushers Tachibana forward and keeps you tucked under his arm as he guides the two of you to the black car. It’s only when you’re inside and the door is shut behind you, that you can finally relax, but it’s only for a split second before Albatross is bursting into laughter in the front seat before you’ve even sat down yourself.
“You look ugly as hell in a prison uniform,” he wheezes, having the audacity to point at you as he turns around to look at you. “God, I never thought this day would come. Someone take a fucking picture.”
“Fuck off,” you snap at him, which only makes him laugh harder.
“The entire world has pictures at this point,” Doc says dryly, looking over you once and frowning at the bruises on your wrists where the cuffs had been tightened too much. He clicks his tongue as he runs his finger across them as you pass by him before sighing, “They really waited as long as they legally could for your arraignment, didn’t they?”
Two whole days. You haven’t eaten because you had to watch the prison guard spit in your food before passing it over to you—evidently, his brother was killed by the Port Mafia and he decided to take that out on you, which was nice. So as if you weren’t dealing with enough bullshit, you haven’t properly slept or eaten in two days.
More than that, you’ve had no confirmation concerning Dazai’s status in two days.
That alone has left you with no appetite and no desire to sleep anyway. You’ve been restless trying to figure what to do if Klaus wasn’t able to get Dazai away from the Guild. That is, restless, and increasingly more violent and angry. You’ve never been someone prone to choose violence as the answer, but you think the only thing that will satisfy you now is the entire organization eviscerated. Not only have they gotten you thrown in prison, but they have Dazai.
You finally take a seat next to Chuuya. He’s stuffed in the back corner of the limo so that no unsavory eyes could catch sight of him when Iceman ushered you and Tachibana into the car. As soon as you take a seat next to him, he wraps an arm around your shoulder and squeezes your bicep. You almost want to collapse into him—you’re so tired and hungry and just so mentally and physically drained that all you want to do is sleep, but you know you can’t, not until you have Dazai back.
Just as you’re about to look up at Klaus and ask him how things went, Piano Man speaks up, addressing Tachibana. “How are things looking?”
The man grimaces. “Not good. They could hold her liable for all of the crimes attributed to the Port Mafia if the jury finds the footage as proof of her affiliation,” Tachibana says. “The last time they had a Yakuza boss on trial, they had him sentenced to death and he was only being held vicariously liable for one murder and three assaults. They have her down for six and all of the other crimes they’ve been gathering as evidence against the Port Mafia just in case they were given an opportunity like this. If-”
“Why are we talking about a jury trial?” you ask tightly, giving Tachibana a cool look from the corner of your eye. “Get the charges dropped.”
A frustrated expression crosses Tachibana’s face. “But-”
“No buts, do your goddamn job and get this dismissed,” you tell him before turning your attention to Klaus. “What’s the situation with the journalists?”
Klaus looks mighty proud of himself as he raises his chin. “They’re dead. Do you want to hear how I did it? It was quite ingenious if I do say so myself.”
He looks excited to tell you, eyes gleaming and smiling wide, so even though you should just drill him for information about Ui and Dazai, you decide to entertain him and nod.
“Tell me,” you say, hoping at least hearing that those irritating pests got what they deserved is enough to ease the seemingly insatiable bloodlust the past few days has caused you before you get back to headquarters and have to deal with Ace.
Klaus is clearly trying to hold back a laugh as he prepares to tell you. From the way Atsushi looks a bit green next to him, you know whatever he’s about to tell you is going to be gross.
“They’re called the Ivory Eagle, right?” he says rhetorically, blue eyes dancing as he stares directly at you, waiting for you to nod again. When you do, he continues, “You see, when I was back in Europe with the Pale Flame, we learned a lot about ancient torture and execution methods. Nabakov had the trafficked ability users fight in rings, y’know, gladiator style—the winner of the fight would pick a method to punish the loser with in front of everyone. The vikings had a ritual execution method called the blood eagle, so I thought it would be funny ‘cause y’know, the name? Ivory Eagle, blood eagle? They can keep their theme even in death!”
“I should not be hearing this,” Tachibana sighs, covering his ears and closing his eyes.
You snort. “May they soar to greater heights,” you mock their slogan and Klaus lets out a loud bark of laughter, bouncing in his seat in excitement.
“I knew you would get it, I’m so funny.” he laughs, nudging Atsushi hard, but the weretiger only looks like he’s about to start crying, so Klaus looks back at you, teeth glimmering as he smiles widely.
“What happened with Ui?” you ask, glancing down to see Chuuya passing you a bottle of water. You give him a grateful look before redirecting your attention back to your subordinates. “And where’s Akutagawa?”
“That ugly journalist confirmed they worked with the Guild to get the footage from your boyfriend,” Klaus says, and even though you knew this, it still makes you feel sick. “... I went by his apartment. It was totally trashed, there was blood on the sidewalk. I’ve spent the past two days trying to hunt down the Guild but I can’t find them anywhere. I was planning on going to the Armed Detective Agency later today to get that one detective to tell me where they are. Figured they wouldn’t be opposed to helping considering they’re getting the shit end of the stick with the Guild too, I heard two of them were trapped for days in an interdimensional space before they were able to get them out.”
“Akutagawa and Kyouka-chan are out doing rounds around the city. Kyouka-chan found one of the lower-ranked Guild members wandering around the city, she’s hoping that she’ll lead her back to their base,” Atsushi adds, answering your second question.
You let out a heavy sigh, looking down at your lap. Apartment trashed. Blood. The water you had just sipped threatens to come back up, you feel Chuuya squeeze your bicep again to try to comfort you, but you don’t care for comfort, you only want Dazai. You want him back in your apartment, back in your arms, you want him safe, you want him.
You want him.
“We’ll get him,” Chuuya promises like he can hear your thoughts. You suppose it’s probably written all over your face. “I’ll do whatever it takes, okay? I won’t let the fucking Guild take him from you.”
He’s spent two days with them. God knows what they’ve done to him to try to get information about you—the thought makes your skin crawl, your chest weighs with guilt. You brought him into this life knowing this risk and you still couldn’t protect him. You need to do something, you need to-
“Chuuya,” you say quietly, “can I borrow your phone?”
Chuuya’s brows furrow but he nods, passing his phone over to you. You ignore the way your fingers tremble as you type in a familiar number and press the phone to your ear, you wait a few anxious seconds for the person on the other line to pick up.
“Hello?”
“Leo,” you breathe out. “Are you still in New York?”
“You’re okay,” Leo Tolstoy sighs, the relief in his voice palpable. “I saw the news. I figured they wouldn’t be able to keep you locked up long. I’m still here, yeah, I have a flight to Tokyo in an hour. I just had to finish up-”
“Cancel it,” you say immediately, fingers digging into the thin pants you’re wearing. “I need to call in a favor.”
“Hit me with it,” he tells you. “You know I’d do anything for you.”
Good, you think, lips curving up as you tell Tolstoy your plan.
There’s only one way to force Fitzgerald into giving you Dazai back, and you’re willing to go to any lengths to do it.
“You’re awake,” an unfamiliar voice notes just as Dazai starts stirring awake. “Good.”
He’s been in and out of consciousness for two days now—awake for a few hours, asleep for double that. He almost wishes that the blow to the head had killed him, because each time he wakes up, he’s questioned sharply about you and he’s tired of it. The first two days of captivity, when Dazai was awake, he spent most of his time staring at the ceiling, your words ringing through his head and your twisted expression plain as day. He’s recounted every word of his conversation with you before he fled, he’s noted every place where he messed up and could have done something different to avoid this, he’s felt so numb that he would almost prefer pain and he’s felt so much regret that it did physically pain him.
Now, he’s just irritated.
Irritated and tired and hungry and most of all, he misses you. Misses you so much that you’re the only thing he can think of clearly. Misses you so much that it makes him sick. Misses you so much that he’s started casting up prayers to gods he doesn’t believe him because he just wants the chance to see your face again.
Thus far, he’s been able to evade answering any questions, but he has a feeling it’s only a matter of time before they start taking more extreme measures to get the information out of him, and Dazai has never been one to deal well with pain. He doubts he’ll be able to get away with lying to throw them off trail for long.
“Nope,” he says tiredly, rolling over onto his side to turn his back on the man. “Still sleeping, unfortunately.”
Dazai doesn’t know who this one is.
He’s gotten used to the other two over the past forty-eight hours—the redhead is called Mark Twain, a high-ranking member of the Guild whose preferred form of torture is casual conversation. It’s predictable and Dazai, naturally, doesn’t fall for it, but it doesn’t stop him from trying. He comes into the cell with food and water that Dazai refuses to touch and talks to Dazai from the moment he wakes up to the moment he passes back out. He asks about you and the Port Mafia without actually asking about you and the Port Mafia, talks about his own woman back home and bitches about his work with the Guild, seeing if Dazai will chime in with his own commentary and grievances.
Dazai doesn’t, of course—there’s not much he can say about the Port Mafia anyway, the things you’d talked about with him are irrelevant at this point, and Dazai certainly is not going to tell Twain anything about you. He knows that the Guild must be looking for information on your ability and Dazai will be damned if he lets anything about it slip. The most he’ll make is snide comments, hoping to piss Twain off enough to leave, but then he has to deal with the other man, James, who is far less pleasant to deal with. Dazai can hardly stand the sight of him and he isn’t sure if it’s because 1) he’s just unappealing to look at, 2) his head injury, or 3) he still has a grudge over the head injury.
He thinks maybe it might be all of the above.
Regardless, the voice of the new arrival is neither Twain’s nor James’s, which means he has a new yet equally undesired visitor. Dazai, naturally, is wary of the unknown. He’d overheard Twain and James talking about Francis getting involved and he remembers that you mentioned the leader of the Guild’s name is Francis Fitzgerald. He has a distinct suspicion that this must be him and Dazai’s only thought is that this definitely doesn’t bode well for him.
“Mister Dazai, please, you need not make this difficult on yourself,” Fitzgerald sighs. “We already have all of the information we need anyway. We want to help you.”
What.
Dazai’s cautious now as he sits up to face Fitzgerald, mind racing as he tries to figure out what exactly he means by ‘we have all of the information we need.’ Dazai has been so careful not to let anything slip—even when he was half delirious from his head wound, he bit his tongue. He didn’t utter a single thing until he was certain that his brain was functioning well enough for him to carefully choose each word he spoke.
There’s no way that they managed to get anything from what he’d said.
The blonde man sitting on the opposite side of the room is dressed in a fancy suit and wears a watch that probably costs more than anything Dazai has ever owned in his life. He looks unusually earnest as he leans forward, elbows on his knees as observes Dazai. Dazai thinks that he’s decently good at reading people, and he can’t find a hint of deception in Fitzgerald’s face, which leaves Dazai feeling distinctly unnerved, unable to predict what’s about to happen to him.
“I find that hard to believe when your subordinate bashed my head in two days ago,” Dazai replies, keeping his voice light but watching Fitzgerald carefully.
“My friend, Henry, is quite excitable,” Fitzgerald sighs, faux-remorse dripping from his tone. “I apologize for him, I was very clear that you weren’t to be injured.”
That doesn’t really help Dazai at all. He needs to figure out how exactly he’s going to press Fitzgerald and figure out what he learned from Dazai. Luckily, he doesn’t have to say much at all because Fitzgerald takes it upon himself to continue talking.
“There were some pieces of information I kept to myself during our endeavor here in Yokohama,” Fitzgerald says. “There are too many… rats scuttering around the sewers. It’s hard to tell who’s listening at any given time. Everyone has their own agendas, and there’s just some information that’s too valuable to risk falling into anyone’s hands but your own. Even supposed allies’.”
Rats. Allies. Agendas. Dazai’s mind races as he notes it all down to tell you as soon as you get him out of here. He doesn’t respond to Fitzgerald’s words, waiting for him to make the mistake of continuing his little monologue so he can have more information to report back to you. From what he’s able to piece together, there’s more than just Fitzgerald and the Guild at work here, but you haven’t mentioned any other organizations besides them, which makes him antsy because if you don’t know that this is multiple organizations working together against the Port Mafia…
You could be in danger.
“I was already made aware of her ability,” Fitzgerald says, watching Dazai for a reaction. He’s careful not to give one, but his words make Dazai’s skin crawl. You’d said that your ability was the most well-guarded secret in the Port Mafia. That only the upper echelon was aware of it.
So how?
The traitor.
Dazai’s throat swells and it’s much harder to keep his distressed emotions off of his face when he remembers the tip-off that Professor Ui had received about a situation happening at the ports on Shinko, remembers that he alluded to someone within the Port Mafia’s inner circle being the informant, remembers that in his meltdown, he never even told you.
Shit.
“Henry, he is also an ability user,” Fitzgerald continues. Dazai is grateful that he seemingly doesn’t notice his increasing panic. “What Maisie Knew, an ability that notifies him when somebody around him is lying. My intention in bringing you here was not to interrogate you, but to find out if you knew the extent of the manipulation happening around you.”
Dazai blinks slowly, letting the words process through his head. An ability that notifies him when somebody around him is lying… but would that even work on Dazai? You tried to use your ability on him with and without touch and it didn’t affect him, so this one shouldn’t either. And if he wasn’t notifying him when Dazai was lying about knowing nothing about your ability…
“Henry told me that you were telling the truth when they asked you about your knowledge of her ability,” Fitzgerald says, and Dazai almost hates the pity thinly veiled behind the man’s eyes. He doesn’t like anyone thinking that he doesn’t know something about you, but he lets this slide because it might just work in his favor. “Her ability is a form of mental manipulation. She influences the emotions of people around her to trust and adore her. What you felt for that girl was nothing more than what she wanted you to feel—she’s spent months shaping your mind to make you believe you care for her so that in a situation like this, you would choose to protect her even at the cost of your own life.”
The surprise that shifts across Dazai’s face is genuine—not because of the revelation of your ability like Fitzgerald believes—but because Fitzgerald does know your ability, and he knows it in an alarming amount of detail. He wishes he had some way of contacting you now, but he needs to focus now on figuring out how he’s going to play this.
They didn’t kidnap him to interrogate him. They kidnapped him to try to make him willingly turn against you by revealing all of your ‘manipulations’ in an effort to rattle you into making a mistake. A decent plan, honestly, and if Dazai were anyone but Dazai, it might’ve worked… but Dazai is Dazai—he’s never been affected by your ability, or Fitzgerald’s subordinate’s, or any ability for that matter, and he would rather die than turn against you.
But… would it be better to make Fitzgerald think that he has turned against you? It would be safer for him, surely. If the man thought Dazai was swayed to his side, he might even have a chance to escape… but it could also throw you off if Fitzgerald tells you, and Dazai isn’t sure if he wants to risk that considering there’s apparently other allies of the Guild that you don’t know about. You would see through it eventually, but in those few moments that you didn’t…
Any mistake now could be fatal.
“She’s in federal custody right now,” Fitzgerald says.
Dazai almost feels dizzy, hands falling from his lap to the bed to dig his nails into the sheets to steady himself. He knew this—he knew it in his heart when Twain mentioned the flash drive and pointed out the sirens but Dazai had still had hope that you managed to evade arrest, that you wouldn’t have been dragged down by his mistakes.
Fitzgerald is still talking and Dazai knows that he should be listening, but instead his mind racing, thoughts so quick and jumbled that he can hardly get them straight. If you’re in federal custody right now, the last thing you needed was to get out and hear news of Dazai turning against you. You’d be worn thin, stressed, alone. You don’t think clearly when you’re under a ton of stress, especially when people you love are at risk. You try to, but when it gets too much, you shut down like you did at the beach house and you can’t shut down with the Guild at your door and god knows what other enemies lurking in the shadow, preparing to strike.
If you’re in federal custody, then the chances that you’ll see through this is even lower because you’ll already not be thinking clearly. There’s a much higher chance that you don’t see through it, that you think the Guild tortured him until his mind broke and he turned against you. And considering your past with Nakahara Chuuya and his lover, it might be the only logical conclusion your brain comes to.
He can’t risk it. It’ll put you in danger—he’s done enough of that lately, but this time, your life really would be on the line.
Instead, he’ll put his on it.
“No,” Dazai says suddenly, cutting Fitzgerald off mid sentence. The blonde looks at him curiously waiting for him to continue. “No. I don’t believe you—about her, about using her ability on me. I don’t believe any of it. Get out.”
Dazai doesn’t know how long he’ll be able to pretend to be blind with love—maybe he can convince Fitzgerald that he’s still under the effects of your ability, that might buy him a few days, but it won’t last forever. He doubts that the Guild will kill him if they want him to turn against you to batter you down, and they want him to do it willingly, so they’ll probably spend a few more days trying to convince him before they resort to making him turn on you through force.
You just need to get to him before that happens.
Fitzgerald doesn’t look surprised by Dazai’s words, but he does look disappointed. He braces himself for the man to press the issue, but to Dazai’s relief, Fitzgerald stands to leave. Dazai needs time to think, time to formulate how exactly is the best way to go about this to buy as much time as possible.
“I figured that would be the case, months under an ability like that takes more than a few days of separation to be free of,” Fitzgerald tells him before he leaves. “Think on it, you could be very useful to our cause… and we could be useful to you too. I’ll be back for an answer.”
“Don’t come back anytime soon,” Dazai replies snidely as the door closes, pulling the blanket tighter around him and resting his head against the wall.
As soon as the door is closed, a heavy feeling settles over his chest and Dazai feels so alone that it makes him sick. He’s become so used to your presence in his life that every moment without you feels like his chest is being hollowed out. The room he’s in is cold and uncomfortable compared to the warmth of your apartment. He wants to be curled up in your bed, surrounded by your scent, wants to be watching some lame movie or forcing you to watch him play an even lamer video game.
He misses you desperately, and his nails bite into the fabric of the blankets as he tries to ground himself, losing himself in the thoughts of you, praying that you come for him soon.
“Ah! Our resident convict has finally decided to grace us with her presence.”
“Oh, Ace, it’s impressive, truly, how everyday you manage to become more stupid than the last. You must not have any brain cells left in that empty skull of yours… You’re not much unlike a protozoa honestly, ” Piano Man sighs whimsically. When Ace’s face twists in confusion, Piano Man gives him a sweet smile. “That’s a single-celled organism. Basic biology, I fear, thank you for proving my point so quickly.”
“She hasn’t been convicted, you dumb fuck,” Chuuya snaps. “And you sound way too pleased over the matter, should probably choose your tone more carefully considering it was you and your subordinate who got her arrested. Sounds a bit like, I don’t know, treason. Did you betray the Port Mafia, Ace?”
Wow, you think, they came in hotter than you expected.
You don’t even bother to address Ace as you make your way to your place at Mori’s right side, taking a seat in the chair left empty for you. You don’t look at him until you’ve taken your seat, but even then he gives you no cues, violet eyes watching you listlessly as he waits for you to say something.
Once the circular table is fully seated, your gaze finally flits to Ace.
“Go on,” you say. “Answer Chuuya’s question.”
Ace’s face twists at your words. “That’s a ridiculous accusation,” he says, raising his chin. “That-”
“Is it?” you interrupt coolly. “You pride yourself on the use of your collars and their ability to control your subordinates. Either your collars are not quite as effective as you’ve so ardently claimed them to be or you’ve betrayed the Port Mafia. Which is it, Ace? Both will have consequences, naturally, one will just be more… final than the other.”
Unless there’s some otherworldly interference, Ace is going to die today.
He’s the reason you were arrested. His subordinates are notoriously fearful of him and his ability to kill them with just a passing thought once he has the collar around their necks. The chance of one of them acting on their own to try to kill you is slim to none. And you know that he knows you know he did it just from the amusement thinly veiled behind the outraged expression on his face.
He’s too smug.
Something’s not right.
“Unfortunately, it seems as if my efforts to deter disobedience have gone ineffective concerning one of my subordinates.” Ace waves his hand, lavender eyes meeting yours pointedly as he speaks his next words: “No need to fret, I’ve dealt with him accordingly.”
That… was not anticipated. You’re careful not to react to his words, gauging the reactions of the others in the room trying to figure out if this was something they all talked about while you were being held by the government, but Piano Man and Chuuya look just as appalled, even Kouyou hides her pursed lips behind her fan as she gives Mori a careful look.
Mori does not look surprised as the rest of his executives.
What did you do?
Chuuya is the first to speak, voice low, “You’ve what?”
“A betrayal of this magnitude is not something for an executive to handle alone,” Piano Man says, the airy tone of his long gone as he stares at Ace. “Especially the executive in charge of said traitor. You acted out of line—this should’ve been brought in front of us all before any action was taken.”
“Out of line?” Ace’s voice becomes more mocking now, clearly enjoying knowing something that Piano Man doesn’t after the snide comment. “Not at all, I acted on orders of the Boss.”
At once, the conference room goes quiet. You see Chuuya and Piano Man turn to look at Mori for the corner of your eye, but you keep your gaze trained on Ace instead and he keeps his on yours. He looks entirely too pleased with himself, eyes cool and taunting, the corner of his lips turned up just enough to be noticeable.
“It’s true.”
Mori offers no explanation—he doesn’t need to, he’s the Boss, but you know there’s something else going on here. He never liked Ace, spoke poorly of the man’s easily bought loyalties and undue arrogance. Only gave him the executive position for financial purposes after the Dragon’s Head Conflict left Yokohama in shambles. Let him stay because his arrogance makes him easily manipulated but always keeps him at arm’s length, ready to cut off at the first whiff of betrayal.
And now he’s what? Scheming with the man he’s despised for years against you? Is it punishment for everything that has happened with the two Yakuza syndicates and the Guild? Punishment for Dazai?
You can’t understand it, you can’t.
You look at Mori from the corner of your eye, blood running hot and only barely able to keep the fury off of your face.
What are you planning?
Mori’s lips curve up as if he can hear your thoughts, eyes flickering with amusement as he looks at you.
You’ll find out, little hime.
“What is Tachibana-kun’s opinion on the indictment?” Mori asks instead, leaning back in his seat and folding his hands over the table as he looks at you.
“He’s going to get the charges dropped,” you reply flatly, nails biting into the slacks you’d changed into before coming to the meeting, suddenly feeling far too cornered as you realize you have enemies around every corner—even within your own home. “This will be over within two weeks.”
“Hm.” Mori sounds more entertained than anything as he tilts his head to the side and studies you. “And the Guild? How do you plan to handle them, little hime? More importantly, that boy you’d been silly enough to allow the information that led to your imprisonment… I trust he’ll be properly handled?”
Putting you on blast in front of all of the executives… Kouyou is watching you carefully, Chuuya is stiff, Piano Man tense, and Ace, of course, is mildly amused. You feel like a circus monkey performing for the lot of them and you know it’s exactly what Mori wanted.
You’re sure not to let your irritation slip onto your face as you smile thinly and reply with: “The Guild will be taken care of by the end of the week. I fear that the boy is not the issue in this situation, Ace would be more suited to answer any questions regarding my imprisonment. Isn’t that right?”
Ace’s smile tightens. “Not at all,” he says coldly. “What are you implying?”
“That it was your subordinate that had dealings with the Guild, of course,” you say with a sweet smile. “What else would I be implying?”
“Right.”
“I mean, I do trust that you managed to get information out of him before killing him, right? We’ve all been trained to do that,” you add, raising your eyebrows and tilting your head to the side. “You did get the information, didn’t you?”
“I would like to know how you plan to handle the Guild considering you’ve failed spectacularly up to this point,” Mori intervenes, preventing you from questioning Ace about the ‘subordinate’ that ‘betrayed the Port Mafia’.
You give him a heavy side-eye, wondering what game he’s playing and why he’s protecting Ace of all people—he must have some plan in the works that involves the man, but what? What could he possibly be using Ace for that’s so important that it makes the cost of keeping a rat in his inner circle trivial? You’ve always struggled to understand the way Mori’s mind works, but never more than now.
You decide to be plain with your accusations now. You’re tired of playing coy; although you’re stuck in limbo now as you wait for Tolstoy to come through with the favor you’ve asked of him, you still feel like you could be doing more productive things to try to figure out how you’ll actually approach Fitzgerald to get Dazai back.
“I don’t feel comfortable divulging that information in this setting,” you say simply, watching as Kouyou’s eyes widen just a bit, Chuuya and Piano Man share a look, and Ace stiffens as he prepares for a scathing comment, but a motion from Mori has them settling down. “Regardless, I think there are more important issues to discuss. Namely, the setbacks we now have to deal with on the political front because of my indictment. I can reach out to the politicians that I’m close enough with that the accusations won’t sway them, but I worry that we might’ve lost a lot of key swing votes in the upcoming bill going through the Diet.”
“We can’t let that bill pass,” Chuuya says tightly.
Kouyou sighs airly as she fans her face. “I can reach out to my connections,” she offers. “I assume Lippmann will have significant influence as well. Between the two of us, we can hopefully compensate for the losses. Do you think the indictment will prevent you from ever returning to handle political affairs?”
You purse your lips. “I doubt I’ll be back at any government events anytime soon, but I’ll be able to get work done from behind the scenes. It’ll be harder, but not impossible.”
Kouyou hums as she nods, glancing back at Mori. “If this is all, I had a prior commitment with our friends in Tokyo… It would be best for me to not miss it considering the circumstances.”
“I also have business to handle,” you say, gaze cutting back to Mori. “If necessary, I can meet with you later to tell you about how I plan to handle the Guild.”
“It’s not necessary,” Mori says lightly. “You’re dismissed, I promised Elise-chan tea time anyway. I expect results this time, little hime… Successful ones.”
Your lips tighten. “Of course,” you reply tensely. “I hope by the time of our next meeting, the rat infestation will be handled. I’ve seen a few too many since I’ve been back at headquarters today, it’s unsightly.”
Ace bristles and looks to Mori like a child seeking their parents’ support. How ironic, you think bitterly, but you don’t give anyone time to respond to your words as you rise to your feet and leave the room, intent on getting back to your apartment as quickly as possible. You don’t even wait for Chuuya or Piano Man as you get into the elevator and press the button to close the doors as quickly as possible.
Your gaze is pinned on the cityscape as the elevator begins to go down to the first floor. The sun has crossed its point in the peak of the sky—it’s still midday, it’s been sixty-six hours since you were taken into custody, likely just as long as Dazai’s been captured by the Guild
Sixty-six hours.
The Guild is not an organization that usually stoops to torture. Of all of the organizations in the world’s shadows, the Guild is probably the one closest to the light—they take advantage of it by forcing its members into the public spotlight. It’s why they’ve done so well in Yokohama so far; they’ve used their political presence to force countries into giving them diplomatic immunity, essentially making them untouchable.
You’re sure they have some degree of blood on their hands, everyone in this world does, but torturing a civilian of a foreign country would be a bold move—if it got out, and you would make sure it did, it would ruin their station… But then again, would they even care?
Fitzgerald was so desperate to get his hands on Atsushi for whatever reason—the bounty and now this… There might not be any length he wouldn’t be willing to go to in order to get his hands on the boy. And Dazai… he wouldn’t give up the information, you know it in your heart. You wish that he would if only so he could protect himself, you’d be able to pivot and readjust your plans, but he won’t, especially not after his spiels about being a burden and wanting to help.
What an idiot, you think desperately, ignoring the way your eyes suddenly sting as you make your way out of the main headquarters to head over to your own building. You’re not even fully processing everything that’s happening around you—you ignore the subordinates that greet you, don’t even hear Albatross calling your name, and when you get to your building, you don’t even notice the doorman sitting at the desk in your building.
It’s not until you get back up to your apartment that you’re finally able to break down.
Physically and mentally drained from two days in custody and now Mori’s schemes, it only takes the sight of Dazai’s sweater tossed on the back of your couch and his backpack lying haphazardly on the ground next to it for you to crumble. You don’t even make it to the couch—your knees give in as soon as your fingers brush the soft material of his sweater. You hit the ground hard, back pressed to the back of the couch as you pull the sweater down to your knees and you cry.
It still smells like him—well, a mixture of you and him since he’s started using your bath soaps—and you miss him so bad that it makes your chest cave in. You muffle the ragged gasp you take in with the sweater and curl in on yourself; you miss him, you miss him so bad that it’s painful, so bad that regret weighs on you like the burden of the sky, so bad that you think you might die. You’ve felt pain like this before when Itou died, but Itou’s death had not been entirely in your control, not like how this was.
You let this happen. The moment you let him into your life, you damned him.
You’ve been teetering on the edge of collapse for days, only sheer willpower and the thin shred of pride you had left prevented you from falling apart during your time in prison, but now there’s nothing left to keep you together. Any remaining willpower was obliterated the moment you walked into your apartment and saw his sweater and backpack exactly where he left them before fleeing because of your words; any remaining pride was destroyed by Mori and his schemes refusing you at least some semblance of justice for your own imprisonment.
Now alone, faced with only the consequences of your own decisions as company, you’re forced to acknowledge the bitter truth: you may never see Dazai again.
You may have gotten him killed.
He may already be dead—spent his last moments alone and in pain, wondering if you were ever going to show up.
You try to convince yourself that Fitzgerald won’t kill him before trying to use him as a bargaining chip over you, but the thoughts are only shallow consolations because you can’t push away the image that’s been haunting you since the day you met him. His body cold and rotting after having been abandoned in one of the dumping grounds the underworld uses as a mass grave, forgotten and nameless, left for the rate to devour. You knew this would happen from the beginning, but you still allowed it.
You’ve never prayed before.
You’ve long believed that if there was a god out there, it was a cruel one who took delight in suffering because what other god would allow people to suffer the way you have?
What god would allow an eight year old girl to sit amongst corpses for hours only to be saved by a man who would drag her down a path so dark that her blood would rot black and her soul would be so far beyond salvation before she was even old enough to attend secondary school?
What god would show someone love only to rip it away before his very eyes in the most brutal way possible?
What god would dangle the ‘what ifs’ right in front of your face just to taunt you knowing that the moment you let yourself indulge them, you would be reminded exactly why they should’ve remained ‘what ifs’?
You’ve never prayed before, but now, you find yourself crying to any that might listen to you because you don’t know what else to do. There’s no guarantee that your plan will work and you can’t give Fitzgerald what he wants, you can’t. So instead, you cry, you beg, you plead, you bargain. You don’t know what divine being might be out there, but for the first time in your life, you hope that there is one, because you’ve never saved a single person in your life. You got Itou killed, you got Chuuya’s lover killed, countless men on the warfront who were banking on your ability fix their minds, at this point, you’re sure that even the loss of your family and village was somehow blood on your hands—everywhere you’ve been, ruin and death have followed you, and this will be no different.
You won’t be able to save him, just like you’ve never been able to save anyone else before. Your only hope lies in the hands of the very beings that have designed this moment and every other misfortune of yours before this. It’s a sick joke, you think, but still, you pray. You cry, and beg, and plead, and bargain. You ask them to bring him back to you, you tell them that he’s good and that he never belonged in this life; you promise that if they bring him back to you, you’ll do what you should’ve done from the very beginning.
You swear it.
You don’t know how long you stay on your floor with his sweater pressed to your chest—could have been minutes or hours, you don’t even hear the elevator arriving at your floor, don’t notice someone is in the room with you until you feel fingers brush your shoulder. You stiffen and futilely try to dry your eyes, lifting your gaze to figure out who had entered your apartment without calling up first. There’s only a handful of people it might be and-
And for just a split second, you think that it might be Dazai.
It’s not, of course, your eyes meet the familiar ones of Klaus’s, the expression he wears is full of guilt, regretful, and just as your lips part to ask him what he wants, he whispers: “I’m sorry I couldn’t find him. I really did try.”
You’ve only seen Klaus cry twice before. Once, two weeks after you took him in when he realized he was finally free of the fighting rings he’d been forced to compete in since his ability manifested. And a second time after he failed his first mission, tossed back into a memory that had him curling on the ground begging you not to send him back. Now, he doesn’t cry, but his throat spasms and his eyes shine with unshed tears.
“I know you did, Klaus,” you say, voice too raspy for your liking
“... I left him alive,” Klaus tells you after a few moments. Before you can ask what he’s talking about, he continues, “Ui. I thought you might want to be the one to deal with him.”
At once, any exhaustion that might’ve been plaguing you disappears, the ice that spreads through your veins promises only one thing.
“Bring me to him.”
“It has been two days since little miss princess was released from prison, how’s that make you feel?”
Dazai stares blankly at Twain, who looks far too pleased as he tilts his chair back and watches him for a reaction. Dazai wishes that he was closer so that he could kick the chair back and watch him go sprawling, but even if he was closer, his body feels rooted to the bed he’s sitting on. Dazai has alway had a quick brain, but now it’s slow as Twain’s words echo through his head on repeat and he starts to understand the implications of them, unable to accept them as truth.
“Guess she doesn’t care about you as much as ya thought she did.” Twain shrugs like it's all some big joke, grin crooked. “Hasn’t even bothered to reach out to ask us about you. Port Mafia’s been active too, guess she just has more important things to deal with than some kid she played around with for a few months. Francis seems more bothered by it than I thought he would. I think he really thought she’d really fight for you—for your sake.”
Dazai doesn’t respond, gaze sliding from Twain to stare at the wall in front of him. It’s been a long four days in Guild custody. He’s hardly had a moment to himself, and he’s been careful to keep up the act of the lovesick fool who refuses to see things as they ‘are,’ but he’s tired and lonely and he misses you. It’s all wearing him out.
He can keep up the act—if it means protecting you, he could do this forever—he’s put on masks and fronts for people his whole life, this is nothing compared to all of that… it’s just that it’s harder when he’s had a taste of life with someone who he doesn’t need to put up masks for. It’s harder when he wants nothing more than to just be back in your apartment, basking in your presence. It makes him dizzy with longing and it makes him careless.
And… he thinks Twain’s words are hitting him a lot harder than they should be.
“I’m not all too surprised though,” Twain continues absently, waving his hands around. “You’re not anything special, and I heard her boy Tolstoy’s back in town. She doesn’t need you to entertain her anymore now that he’s around.”
For a second, Dazai can see the dams cracking. All of the pent up emotions that have been building the past few days batter the splintering walls holding them back, and Dazai can only barely bring himself to try to reinforce them because now’s not the time for this. But every time he manages to fortify one section of the crumbling dam, another starts to collapse.
It can’t be true. It can’t be—Dazai knows this, in his heart, he knows it—what you had with him… it was special. It was. (Wasn’t it?) The way you looked at him, no one could look at someone that way and not mean it. No one could speak the words you did and not mean them. There must be something else going on, you must be planning something—you’re not going to rush headfirst into a trap, not when it could end with Dazai’s life in danger and especially not with your past with the Serpent’s Tongue, but…
… but Twain’s mention of Tolstoy rattles Dazai badly. You’ve talked about Tolstoy before to him, and it was always with a certain fondness that made Dazai uneasy, and for a second, Dazai thinks it might be possible that you could just be cutting your losses with him and moving on. Because Twain is right, Dazai is nothing special, and it’s not like the two of you ended off on a good note before his capture—you were mad at him, he was cruel to you, he blamed you for all of this even though he forced it onto you.
Dazai wouldn’t even really be able to blame you for not coming for him after that; for months, he’s been forcing your hand but when he felt backed into a corner, he threw it all in your face.
Not even to mention that it might not even be as simple as you coming to save Dazai—there were other factors at play too, the Port Mafia being the biggest. You’re an executive, you can’t just throw everything away to come rescue him when he got himself into this situation after you explicitly warned him that this would happen.
If you had to choose between him and the Mafia… could he really be certain that you would choose him in that scenario? He wants to say yes, he does, but the word feels weighted and bitter on his tongue, like he knows it’s not quite so cut and dry.
Realistically, you might not come for him. Even if Twain is wrong and it’s not a matter of whether you care about him enough to come for him, there are too many variables that could prevent you from coming for him… but Twain might not be wrong.
“Mark,” Fitzgerald’s familiar voice chides as the man steps into the room Dazai is staying in. He doesn’t even hear the sigh and comment that Twain lets out before leaving because he’s too lost in his own thoughts.
Dazai has never felt so entirely out of control of a situation like this before—he’s always been so careful and meticulous in his interactions with people and his surroundings because he likes being able to predict how people will act around him, it makes it easier for him to figure out how he should act. He’s even had a good hold on himself, learned how to school his emotions and convert ones he doesn’t like into ones that are easier for him to manage. But everything about this has just been so impossible for him to get a handle on, he’s tried in every way that he could, but the realization of the fact that you might not be coming for him is sending him over the edge
“I wanted to break the news to you myself,” Fitzgerald says and Dazai feels bitter and angry about the sympathy in his voice, wants to spit at him. He doesn’t need anyone’s pity, much less his, but he only finds himself staring listlessly at the man instead. “I waited a few days to see if she would reach out, but she never did… I’m afraid I can’t keep waiting anymore, I need to move on with the next stage of my plan.”
This is it, Dazai thinks distantly—now is when they’ll finally switch from persuasion to force. He thought he would have a bit longer to figure out how he would proceed and now he can’t even get himself thinking straight to try to figure out how to evade this. His thoughts are scattered and distant and so many different and unfamiliar emotions are battering him from every angle; he can hardly pay attention as the man across from him speaks.
“I want you to cooperate willingly,” the Guild leader continues, but his words are going in one ear out the other. “... don’t have to worry about them targeting you for betrayal. We have enough resources to shield you from the Port Mafia. Additionally-”
“No,” Dazai says quietly—the refusal slips out before he can even process it.
Fitzgerald pauses. “No?”
“No,” he reiterates, voice more strained, the words tumbling from his lips. “No, I don’t need your protection. I’m not going to cooperate. I won’t betray her—not for anyone, but especially not you. She’ll come. I know it.”
Something changes in Fitzgerald’s expression at Dazai’s words; it becomes twisted for just a second, but then it softens, his lips curl up into a faint smile. One that’s almost fond, but Dazai can’t understand why for the life of him.
“I see, so even knowing all of this and realizing that she might not be coming for you, you still choose to stand at her side,” he murmurs. He doesn’t try to persuade Dazai like he thought he would. “There are not many who are able to see the worst of someone and still make that choice… I’ve only met one other… You remind me much of her.”
“She chooses me too,” Dazai says. He thinks, for a second, that he’s only saying it to scare Fitzgerald into realizing that you’ll come for him, but as soon as the words leave his lips, he knows that it’s true. That he believes it. He believes you’ll choose him, he believes you’ll come for him no matter what the cost might be. Even after everything that happened the other day, even knowing that you’ve been free for days and haven’t made any moves to rescue him yet, his faith in you hasn’t wavered. “She’ll come for me, and you’ll regret this.”
Fitzgerald exhales as he rises to his feet, gaze lingering on Dazai for just a moment before he tells him, “For your sake, I hope your faith is not misplaced.”
“The human psyche is unbearably fragile. It’s one of the first conclusions I came to during my studies,” you say absently, sitting back in your chair. “I don’t have a combative ability. I can’t control any elemental force and I don’t have a superhuman body. I can’t summon entities to fight on my behalf and I certainly can’t shapeshift. Chuuya spent a lot of time studying physics to fine tune his power, my path laid in psychology. You see, my ability isn’t flashy or showy like many others, but it is an ability nonetheless, and even the weakest abilities can become dangerous in the right hands.”
Ui Koutarou stares up at you from the corner that he’s curled up in, his pupils are blown wide and his skin is pale and sweaty. You don’t know if he’s looking through you or at you, but you suppose it doesn’t matter.
“Usually, conditioning a human mind to have automatic responses to particular stimuli can take months, but I’ve learned to utilize my ability in a way that can speed up that process from months to days,” you explain, watching carefully as you flick the lighter in your hands. “You’ve realized that, of course, I’ve spent the past two days here rewiring your brain to react to things the way I want it to. You can’t control the way your heart starts racing when you see this flame, right? I can see the way your breath is short, your pupils dilated. You don’t have any reason to be scared of it, it’s harmless, but you’re still terrified. Why?”
He doesn’t answer, of course, you didn’t say the word, but when you rise to your feet and take a step forward, he scrambles back impossibly further, shrinking into the corner. Your lips curve up as you flick the lighter off and take a seat, watching the way he immediately begins to relax again.
“My ability isn’t mind control, I fear if it was, my life would be much more simple,” you sigh, looking up at the ceiling momentarily before lowering your gaze back down to him. “I can induce emotions and states in the human brain—the weak-minded naturally are much easier than the strong-willed, but I can make both bend to my will, it’s just a matter of how much effort I’m willing to put into it.”
You tilt your head to the side as you observe him and then pull a pen from your pocket, tossing it in his general direction. You can see the way his chest visibly stutters at the sight of it, breath ceasing, and then he darts to the opposite side of the room. In his desperate flee, his foot brushes the pen and you smile lightly as you activate your ability, watching the way he immediately hits the ground, screaming his throat raw as he curls into a ball. After deactivating your ability, you wait a few seconds for him to calm down before continuing.
“The human psyche is fragile, but the brain is very malleable. As soon as it recognizes that a certain action will always bear a negative consequence, it will adapt and do everything it can to prevent you from taking that action to avoid the negative consequences.” You lean forward, looking down at him. “It’s recognized now to associate fear with a flame and a pen. You can’t control the way that the sight of either of these two objects make you react—it’s reflexive because your brain has already taken the necessary steps to ensure that you don’t get close enough to either to trigger the consequence that comes along with touching it.”
The flame is a necessary step. It’s easier to force the brain to associate fear with something that is inherently dangerous, and you needed to see how long it might take for you to move on to something that’s not inherently dangerous. It took three hours of conditioning to make his brain adapt enough to have reflexive responses to the sight of fire.
Then you moved onto a pen, because you thought it was ironic for a journalist to fear the same thing he uses to complete his job. That took six hours.
“When you stayed away from the two objects, I rewarded you,” you explain with a thin smile. “It must’ve been so relieving… all of the pleasant emotions you felt after nearly five days of being locked up here. Happiness, hope, gratitude. I’m sure it was confusing too, because you didn’t know why you felt that way but you were so quick to bask in them that it didn’t matter.”
Ui continues to watch you, so you continue speaking. You think you’re talking more to yourself than to him, you don’t even know if he’s capable of processing your words at this point, but you need to keep yourself busy while you wait.
“When you touched the objects, I punished you,” you continue. “Guilt, sadness, but my favorite is fear. It’s the easiest emotion to induce in someone, it’s not one that I have to actively keep applied because the human mind spirals once it has a taste of it. They call it the mind killer.”
The last sentence tastes bitter on your tongue. It reminds you of Dazai.
“I did the same thing with your ability to speak… Speaking is a voluntary action, it’s a bit different than conditioning reflexive responses, but it still worked. Now, you can’t speak until I say the word, right?”
He doesn’t respond. You didn’t say the word.
“Speak.”
“Yes,” he rasps, voice wet and shaky. “You’re right.”
“I even made sure that no one else could trigger it. I brought Klaus in here and had him order you to speak. Every time you listened to his order, I punished you. Every time you listened to mine, I rewarded you. Do you remember that?”
He doesn’t respond. You didn’t say the word.
“Speak.”
“I remember,” he replies. “I remember.”
“Dazai Osamu was captured by the Guild because you worked alongside them to have me arrested. Isn’t that right?”
He doesn’t respond. You didn’t say the word.
Your voice is colder this time as you say: “Speak.”
“I didn’t mean for him to get kidnapped.” He has the nerve to sound like he’s about to cry. “None of my students, I didn’t mean for it-”
“That’s not what I asked. Speak.”
“Yes,” he chokes out. “Yes, he got kidnapped because of me.”
“That’s right,” you agree, “and he might die because of you too. Was it worth it?”
He doesn’t respond. You didn’t say the word.
“Speak.”
“No,” he whispers. “No, it wasn’t worth it.”
“I know,” you say, more to yourself than him. “But I suppose we’ve all done things that had consequences that weren’t worth it.”
You sigh, glancing to the side to see a figure waiting outside the cell. Chuuya’s face is twisted in displeasure, an unreadable look in his eyes as he stares at you.
“If it were up to me, I would let you live,” you admit. “A journalist too scared to ever pick up the pen again… the man trying to bring down the Port Mafia little more than a puppet for one of its executives… an ironic fate, possibly one worse than death.”
You rise to your feet and walk to the door of the cell, leaving the room. Before you leave, you look over your shoulder and say:
“Luckily, your fate is not up to me.”
You leave the cell and close the door behind you, looking up to meet Chuuya’s familiar eyes, cool and disapproving.
“Don’t you think you might be going too far?” he asks quietly.
“Says the man who leveled an entire ward,” you reply coldly and he winces at the reminder. “I don’t want to hear anything from you about ‘too far’. If anything, I haven’t gone far enough.”
Chuuya sighs, but he doesn’t press the matter.
“You should get some rest,” he finally says. “You’ve pretty much been up for two days straight, and I know you didn’t sleep while locked up.”
You click your tongue and look away. “I slept yesterday.”
“For an hour and a half,” Chuuya replies dryly. “Torturing the fuckin’ journalist isn’t going to bring Dazai back-”
“No, but it makes me feel better,” you interrupt, gaze sharpening.
“Does it?”
“It does, in fact,” you say, giving him a thin smile, “more than you could ever believe.”
Chuuya lets out another sigh, this one heavier than the last. “I’m worried about you,” he says, voice tight. “I-”
“I don’t care, Chuuya,” you say, watching as Chuuya’s face twists in frustration. “I don’t need your concern. I need Osamu back and until he is-”
“This isn’t going to bring him back, you-”
“I don’t care!” You don’t even realize you’ve raised your voice, don’t even register your own movements as your hands dart out to shove Chuuya back hard. He only stumbles a few steps, but he gives you a pointed look. Suddenly, you want to cry again and your voice wobbles as you repeat, “I don’t care.”
He’s right. You know he’s right. Torturing Ui Koutarou isn’t going to do anything to help Dazai. The man is useless, gave information to the Guild that he shouldn’t have, but has no idea their whereabouts or even who he spoke to. And it’s not making you feel better like you claim it is, the sick bit of glee you may feel watching the journalist-turned-husk dissipates quickly whenever the thought of Dazai crosses your mind.
The Guild hasn’t even reached out to you.
You don’t know if it’s a good sign or a bad sign—probably a bad one. If they were trying to use him as leverage over you and the Port Mafia, then they would’ve done that by now. They could be waiting for you to reach out, it would give them the advantage in negotiations, but you can’t reach out before you have something to negotiate with.
But the longer you wait… they’ll use it against Dazai. They’ll tell him you don’t care to come after him. They’ll tell him you’ve been out of prison for two days, yet you haven’t bothered to reach out to the Guild to get him back. They’ll make him feel worthless and Dazai already has such a poor perception of himself that you fear he’ll believe it, but you can’t do anything yet.
Not yet, but soon.
Soon.
“The Diet postponed the military bill,” Chuuya says, changing the subject. Your gaze snaps back over to him. “Ane-san just got word from one of her friends in the House of Councillors. They pushed it two weeks out.”
You grimace instantly, shaking your head. “They want to see what happens with the indictment. If it gets dropped or goes to trial. If it goes to trial, we’ll lose more swing votes.”
“I asked Piano Man if he could talk to Tachibana, see what’s going on with getting the charges dropped, I know you have a lot on you right now, but I figured you’d want to know this,” Chuuya murmurs apologetically, squeezing your wrist.
Dazai is gone. The Guild is at your doorstep. There are countless indictments that you’re not sure are going to get dropped. The military bill is still looming over you. God, it’s never ending. You’re so tired.
“I’m glad you told me,” you finally tell him, but your voice is strained. “I’ll figure something out about the bill if the worst case scenario happens.”
Chuuya’s lips part like he’s about to speak, but he pauses suddenly, eyes flickering behind you. A dreadful feeling suddenly hangs over you as you turn around to face none other than Mori—the man never comes to the torture rooms himself so you know he must be looking for someone and that someone is very likely you.
Chuuya takes off his hat and lowers his head. You usually would follow suit but you don’t this time, keeping your chin high as you stare at Mori. His lips only curve up in response to your lack of respect, much to your displeasure.
“Chuuya-kun, may I?” Mori hums, doesn’t have to specify what he wants because Chuuya knows, nodding and excusing himself so Mori can speak to you alone.
His eyes slide away from you to the cell that holds Ui Koutarou. You watch as he looks between the pen on the ground and the way the man is as far away from it as possible. He tilts his head to the side in amusement, lifting his fingers to the chest pocket of his lab coat, pulling out the pen he always has stashed in there before tossing it at him. Ui is unable to dodge it fast enough, doesn’t realize what’s happening until too late.
The moment the pen touches his body, you activate your ability, watching him let out another blood curdling scream before focusing your attention back on Mori, who looks oddly pleased by what he’s found.
“Two days of work?” he questions.
“A little over.”
“How impressive,” he murmurs—for the first time, he says it without the mocking lilt that usually accompanies it and your throat swells, eyes flickering away from him to the wall.
You know that he’s probably only saying it to try to ease your anger at him, but you can’t help the way it makes you feel after years of trying to get him to say those very words to you and mean them.
“Did you know?” you finally ask him, voice too hoarse for your liking.
“Did I know what?” Mori asks, raising his eyebrows to look down at you with sharp eyes that tell you he knows exactly what you’re asking but isn’t going to make this easy for you.
“Did you know that Ace was setting me up? Was it punishment?” Your nails dig deep into your palms as you wait for a response, so much so that you can feel the blood trickling between your fingers. “Did you?”
“Of course not, I would never risk our political position so recklessly. Especially with the military bill in the Diet,” Mori scoffs, looking away for a moment before glancing back down at you. “Nor would I risk you so recklessly. You should know that by now, little hime.”
You avert your gaze, shaking your head. He’s only saying this to appease you, you know it, you don’t know why you’re still falling for it.
“I don’t know anything that goes on in your mind,” you bite back, grateful that your voice is steadier than how you feel. “Why isn’t he being punished then? He betrayed the Port Mafia.”
“I still have something I need him to do,” Mori replies easily, lips curving up into a smile that unsettles you. “... Don’t fret, my dear, when the time comes, you can be the one to handle his execution.”
You click your tongue sharply. “It better be soon.”
You can only define the smile on his face as sinister, and you almost regret your words when he replies, “It will be,” because you don’t know what exactly he has planned for him to be smiling like that.
Before you can interrogate him on what the hell he’s even talking about, Klaus comes stumbling down the steps with wide eyes and an excited expression on his face. He pauses when he sees Mori, gaze darting between the two of you.
“I’ll speak to you later, little hime,” Mori says dismissively—you wonder what he came down here for, he wouldn’t have come to speak to you without some sort of agenda and you don’t know what he would have achieved from this conversation beyond unnerving you. “... Keep up the good work.”
Your throat tightens as he turns to leave, gliding past Klaus who awkwardly lowers his head in respect as he walks by. As soon as he’s out of sight, Klaus turns to you, lips spreading in a toothy smile.
“Tolstoy is here.”
Your eyes widen instantly. “Take me to him.”
You thought he would be a bit longer. Your chest is tight with anticipation as you follow Klaus to another level in the main headquarters. You were expecting to have to wait at least another day or two for him to complete the favor you asked for him and another thirteen hours for him to fly from New York City to Yokohama. You suppose you shouldn’t be surprised, Tolstoy has always exceeded your expectations, but still… you hadn’t dared hope.
The man is leaning outside the door Klaus leads you to, lips curved up in a familiar smile, blue eyes glittering playfully as soon as he catches sight of you.
“Princess,” he greets, holding his hand out for you to place yours in. You roll your eyes fondly as the blonde lifts your hand to his lips to ghost a kiss against your knuckles. He winks at you. “She’s all yours.”
You thank him quietly before pushing open the door to enter the conference room in front of you. The woman waiting inside is prim and elegant, wearing a long dress with jewels decorating her neck and wrists. Her expression is cool and closed off at first glance, but you can see the glassiness of her eyes and the way her thin fingers tremble in her lap.
You give the woman a soft smile as you approach, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands in yours. You make sure your expression is gentle and genuine as you look up at her, watching as your ability instantly goes to work when her fingers stop trembling and her own expression softens as she looks down at you.
“Hi, Zelda,” you greet, voice sweet and honeyed. “You don’t need to be scared. I’m a friend.”
When Zelda Fitzgerald lets out a soft breath of relief, the tenseness in her shoulders easing, you know that she’s made the fatal mistake of believing you and your smile becomes a bit more authentic.
Finally, you can make your move.
“Come, let’s go somewhere more comfortable. We have a lot to talk about.”
#dazai x reader#dazai x you#dazai osamu x reader#dazai osamu x you#bsd x reader#bsd x you#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs x you
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SEX FASHION GUITAR — JAEMIN SMAU MASTERLIST
𐙚 pairings. rockstar!jaemin x stylist!reader
✧ genre. rockstar!au, fwb!au crack/humor, fluff, angst college au ( ? ), mutual pining
warnings. swearing, death jokes, eventual smut, jaemin is a fuckboy highkey, will add more if needed
synopsis. l/n y/n fashion major and photographer on the side who says what she wants, na jaemin music major and lead guitar player for underground band DREAM. After yn forgets her to change her account and says something that catches the eye of jaemin she tries to ignore him — expect thanks to chenle she now works for them.
characters. l/n y/n, na jaemin, 7dream, sieun ( stayc ) winter ( aespa ) ft. hanbin ( zb1 )
started. 04-01-2024
ended. 04-22-2022
authors note. been working on this for a minute and i can't wait for you guys to read it❤️
let me know if you want to be added !
( 🩶 ) ... LET'S PLAY !
0.) PROFILES
1.) nightmare fuel ...
2.) will you do it ? ...
3.) fuck elon musk ...
4.) not that bad 😆 ...
5.) down a peg ...
6.) fitting day📍...
7.) unfair treatment ...
8.) he's unsaveable ...
9.) 5 minutes until show time ... ( written )
10.) not to your face , no ...
11.) no need to fight it ...
12.) next time ... ( written )
13.) stay the night ...
14.) that random dude ...
15.) throwing me off 😐...
16.) how far are you willing to go ...
17.) nice guy ...
18.) bowling with hanbin ...
19.) maybe it's time ...
20.) let's end it ...
21.) hostility in the chat 😬 ...
22.) spiraling ...
23.) new york ...
24.) im sorry ... ( written ) ...
25.) best non-confirmed boyfriend ever ...
26.) y/n is better ...
27.) debut day ( im sorry pt 2. ) ...
28.) release party ...
29.) number 1 ! ...
30.) people really like us ...
31.) rumored ...
32.) next week ...
33.) music show ...
34.) so happy ...
35.) disney ass outfit ...
36.) he's mine ...
BONUS CHAPTERS !
1.) jaemin not having media training ...
2.) dreams first award ...
3.) the girls vs jaeminslvt ...
©️LUVYENI
#kpop x reader#kpop smut#nct fanfic#nct texts#nct fic#nct smau#nct dream x reader#nct dream ff#nct dream reactions#nct dream fic#nct fake texts#nct dream fanfic#nct dream fake texts#na jaemin fic#na jaemin x reader#na jaemin smut#na jaemin scenarios#jaemin smau#jaemin x reader
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when fans ship you together.
ᙏ̤̫ 엔하이픈 ♡ femreader & fluff established relationship + cw. not-proofread 0.4k | ( bookshelf )
heeseung would be beyond happy about it. to be completely frank, he has been waiting for this to happen for a while now— even a bit surprised it didn't happen any sooner, given the fact that he'd have never hide the fact he likes you a lot. enthusiasm, weirdly, would watch over him at the sight of the cute videos fans make about the two of you.
jongseong would be extremely proud. he is your boyfriend, for sure, but people thinking that a pretty girl like you would look good with him makes him extremely happy. a wave of pride and self-contentment would wash over him when you tell him about the situation, not even being able to hide his smile.. he'd watch videos about the two of you all day long, for sure.
jaeyun would start giggling in front of his phone every time he sees contents about you both together, twirling his hair as he reads comments about how good he would look with you and how much you were made to be his girlfriend, he'd send you every tiktok he comes across with the caption “do you agree?” — he'd send the ‘:0’ emoji when you reply with “no” ;D
sunghoon would think “it's about time” thinking his attempts of being next to you at any chances he gets and stealing glances over where you where made how he felt towards you obvious enough. he wouldn't be shocked to hear the news, more taken aback by how long it took for people to understand and see his actions towards you..
seonwoo would be so happy, oh my.. >< he'd have been interacting with you for a while now and have been waiting since the day fans would start to like the idea of you two in a relationship with one another, therefore is naturally happy when fans finally do. put all edits of you and him in his favorites; named ‘us’ folder.
jungwon would show you all the posts he'd come across, laying with you on bed as he scrolls through tiktok; “seriously, can't you be a little less obvious about your love for me.. fans are getting suspicious” he'd tell you, teasing grin creeping of his face, completely ignoring the fact he is the one the tiktok is mainly about.
riki would not bat an eye when you show him that one video of him following you around like a lost puppy. you'd think that he would be even a tad worried; but no! he'd know exactly how he acts when you are near, that it's in public or not, he can't control the way he acts around you.. “are you really finding out that i might have a tiny bitty crush on you?”
hold draft back from november..
nets @k-films @kflixnet @/k-labels taglist open! @manooffline @ibsysbsfsunsbs @oldjws @lilriswife4life @alaezasmystery235 @teddywonss @tyussday @cholexc @flickqr @yuviqik @wvnrqs @strawberrywonz @y-ves @isawritesss @filmofhybe @ikeucakes @gweoriz @yunabi436 @ashtxrie @soul-is-a-strange-kid @jaelaxies @jwonsluvr @lynniebearrr-blog @bobabunhee @sunghoonsarmpit @ynsvnte @wonifullove @luvieden @shalkeren @thesunoosshining @smouches @okwons @sulkygyu @the-swageyama-tobiyolo
#૮꒰ྀི ◞ ⸝⸝⸝ ◟ ꒱ྀི১ !!⠀#kflixnet#k labels#k films#enhypen fluff#enhypen drabbles#enhypen imagines#enhypen reactions#enhypen scenarios#enhypen headcanons#enhypen soft hours#enhypen soft thoughts#enha fluff#enha drabble#enha imagines#enha reactions#enha scenarios#enha headcanons#enha soft hours#enha soft thoughts#heeseung fluff#jay fluff#jongseong fluff#jake fluff#jaeyun fluff#sunghoon fluff#sunoo fluff#jungwon fluff#niki fluff#riki fluff
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IYHM ask replies! (1/3)
🌸 @daniluvz asked:
I am so happy, I got your book and I am excited it's finally next in my to be read pile!!!!!! I know this is way to soon to ask but will you be making another book? (I had to ask, I know you literally just came out with this one not to long ago, but I love your art and it has inspired me to continue my journey in art and graphic novel) sending all the love and well wishes❣️❣️❣️
wahhh thank you so much!!!! oh my gosh, while it's not a sequel, i AM making another book! i feel like i'm the type to keep big projects close to my chest until the moment i can reveal it to the world, but i have to confess i'm very excited about this one... AH i can't wait!
wishing you well too, i'm so excited for your journey omg!!! sending you all the luck and love in the world!!!!! 💖💖💖
🌸 @perseusrising asked:
my girlfriend and i read your book together! it was absolutely spectacular! thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful story
oh it makes me so happy when i hear about people reading it together!! especially couples! what a wonderful experience to share. thank you <3
🌸 @ggwweenn1 asked:
I work at a library and read "If you'll have me" because I saw it in our new book delivery and thought "oh hey I know them from Tumblr" and then immediately was like "ok ok where can I display this prominently so every 16 year old girl can read it!?!?!" xoxo
AHH i only want the best for everyone who works at libraries!! thank you for all your hard work!!! 😤 also OMG YES... i wish that every girl who needs this book may find it... tysm! xoxo!!
🌸 @elihoneybee asked:
my girlfriend got me iyhm for christmas im so happy thank you for this beautiful book
oh thank you so much!! ;_; i'm always so touched when i hear it's been given as a gift. i think books are such good presents! and giving them is such a sweet gesture <3
🌸 @mythicalphoenix14 asked:
I recently read your book and wanted to tell you how incredible the art was and the story.
oh my gosh. that means so much! thank you forever ♥
🌸 @animaestr0 asked:
me and my friends went to the bookstore a couple montsb back and i SAW "IF YOU'LL HAVE ME" on the shelf and i straight up screamed and yoinked it because I was late to the iyhm preorder chain and couldn't find it anywhere for a while BUT!!!! I HAVE IT NOWW WOOOOOOOOO
OMG YAYYYYYYY i'm so happy to hear that!!! YIPPEEEEE 💕💕 honestly i should've reblogged the preorder link more but i'm so slow to act and afraid of being annoying 😩 i wanna try harder next time!!
🌸 Anonymous asked:
I saw your sneak peak scene on twitter and i just fell in love with your artstyle in a heartbeat, the colors, your way of setting the scene and i just wanted to tell ya i ordered if you'll have me! ps: i'm from germany! :)
you are so wonderfully sweet oh my gosh! ;0; thank you so much for your kind words!! may it get to you safely~
🌸 Anonymous asked:
i saw iyhm in a store today! i'm in australia so i was going to buy it online but i was so moved seeing irl :') it's on my bookshelf. congrats on getting published, i'm so excited to read it!
oh my goodness, thank you! SAME every time i see it in a store, my heart skips a beat 💓 i feel very grateful to have physical copies out in the world, especially with the state of digital media preservation today... thank you again!!
🌸 @unfortunatelyem asked:
read the iyhm graphic novel in one sitting and almost cried!!! thank you for the food🙏
wahhh thank you so much for reading and enjoying!!!!
🌸 @dancingcoder28 asked:
Just wanted to tell you that I saw your book in my local library! I am so happy and excited to see it because it’s such a good book, and definitely deserves to be put out there 💜💜💜💜
AHHH yessss we love libraries!! omggg thank you so much for this lovely message, that means the world 💛💛💛💛
🌸 Anonymous asked:
HI HELLO i just wanted to let you know that my friends and i went to the big barnes and nobles in NYC recently and i recognized If You'll Have Me on display and ofc i HAD to have it so I picked it up right away and absolutely adored every page of it and thank you sososo much for giving us such a lovely story <33 it made me smile so much !!!!!!!
OMG THANK YOU AHHH!!!!! oh i wanted so much for it to make someone smile!!! T_T my dreams are coming true... i hope it felt like a warm hug <3 <3
🌸 @cosmonautchan asked:
SAW YOUR BOOK AT MY LOCAL WATERSTONES!!! IT'S SUPER COOL!!!
THANK YOU AHHH HOW WONDERFUL!!! i would love to visit a waterstones someday!!
🌸 Anonymous asked:
Hiii I'm in the middle of reading IYHM (digital version cuz I don't trust my local post office sorry 😔) and it makes me feel so uwu. I'm happy to see wlw works out there (I've read mostly mlm so far). Momo is so relatable it almost hurts, I too overthink absolutely everything. Congratulations on the release!!! Here's to many more! 🎉 🥂
totally understand omg rip 😔🙏 but yayyyy i'm so thrilled! the overthinking is so real for me too. also uwu is EXACTLY the feeling i wanted to capture 😂 the uwus and the doki dokis... i wish i had even more time to show the girls being cute and fluffy with each other! maybe next time hehe. thank you so much!!!
🌸 @hyper0bject asked:
heyyy i just got a copy of IYHM in! excited to read it, been following the mini comics for a bit now and pulled the trigger on it a couple days ago :) even just looking it over it looks super quality, print and heft! thanks!
ahh i'm so happy to hear that! thank you so much!! i'm still so pleased with how the physical copies turned out. i like paperbacks because of how they feel to hold, but i was amazed to find out the hardback has the art printed right onto the cover! i totally wasn't expecting it. ty again! :>
🌸 Anonymous asked:
I just wanted to let you know I remember seeing art of momo and PG when I was in seventh grade (the "you're the cute one" art) and today I saw them on the cover of a book at my library and I almost couldn't believe it!!! I finished it within that same afternoon, and I gotta say I'm so happy you were able to publish these girls. I love them to bits. keep up the amazing work!!!
omg it's been so long since i drew that!! it's amazing that you remembered them and that they came back to you like this!!! thank you so much aw... this is so incredibly sweet... i wish i had more words to say thank you <33
🌸 @lemonbaristas asked:
Happy book birthday!!! 🎉
thank you so much!!! 🥺💕
part 2 is on its way~
#iyhm#replies#lemonbaristas#cosmonautchan#hyper0bject#dancingcoder28#unfortunatelyem#animaestr0#mythicalphoenix14#elihoneybee#ggwweenn1#perseusrising#daniluvz#anon
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my angel baby (special chapter!)
alastor w/ angel daughter reader
(notes: This special chapter gives us another glimpse at Alastor's relationship with his only daughter, you, and how unique his parenting skills are. Currently set in the 30s where you two are still living and breathing so far.)
( Welcome back to my fellow angel baby readers! Also much welcome to any newcomers!
Here is a new chapter for my alastor and daughter series, I know it's been such a long while and I understand if a lot of you have moved on qwq I did take quite awhile so I can't blame you. But school finally ended and it's summer! I have much more time on my hands now! If thee are people still interested I'm totally willing to focus my time on updating!
Thank you so much for staying tuned! Let's start then shall we!)
(caution: alastor being manipulative(?), more or so cruel, he makes you cry :( )
(Tags: @maksdust @willowwillflower @sunshinesetsstuff @0willowwisp0 @projectdreamwalker @1potato2rulethemall @just-here-reading @avitute @pooplyface1423 @insomniacfigure @mo-0-o @thekanrojimitsuri2 @nevermorekisses @wildfire153 @sirenetheblogger @potaturkey17 @barrythestrawberry041)
(p.s. NOT PROOFREAD, I also apologize if the pacing and writing is a bit weird qwq I have written in awhile so I'm slightly rusty..!)
It was yet another particular day in the 30s of New Orleans.
Word of mouth of politics, money, entertainment.. everything was nothing but as normal as it could possibly be for a seventeen year old girl.
You woke up to the sound of soft birds chirping yet soon being covered by human made sounds like chatter and metal clanking. You fixed yourself up once you got out of your puffy bed that kept you in sweet dreams each night.
You looked at yourself in the mirror as you fixed your chosen outfit for the day, a small smile cheering yourself up at how you felt a soft gleaming feeling in your chest.
'today will be a good day.' you thought.
...
Something was missing, there was a little gleam of excitement that you couldn't wait for.
You could start it anytime soon but-- it felt wrong.. it was wrong.
'maybe later, I can wait much later...'
Walking out of your bedroom and down the hall, passing by your father's study and your family bathroom ended up in between the kitchen and living area, your nose led you down to the kitchen.
It was a fairly early morning but your nose could smell your father's presence despite him leaving half an hour ago, your feet tapped against the hardwood floors as you went up to the stove with your eyes also noticing a note with writing on it on the counter beside the heating appliance.
Eyes flicked between the warm pot on the stove and the note, your nose took another long whiff of the comforting aroma to be a dish you absolutely love to have in the mornings.
Your hands went on to pick up the note and raised it up for your eyes to see, your father's neat and sophisticated writing made you smile as you started to read:
'Good morning my dove, I do hope you had the sweetest of dreams last night. I know you over exerted yourself the other day and I just hope you aren't slugging like a sloth this morning!-'
Giggling slightly, you continued reading.
'Nevertheless, I made you your favorite before I left off to work. Don't forget to tune in soon!
Love, Father Dearest.'
Right.. his radio show will be on soon!..
You smiled as you folded the note and tugged in into a small pocket/spot on your person before going on to plate yourself breakfast that your dad made and getting a glass of your preferred drink before skimming past the dining table to eat on the living room.. you weren't exactly allowed to eat here but it's not like your father was here to scold you.
Carefully yet hurriedly sliding your glass and plate on the small coffee table your father recently bought to 'bring more life to the house'. You would then scramble up to the home radio and flick with it for a bit until you finally reached your father's signal.
Turning up the volume to hear it loud and clear you proceeded to go back to your break fast and set yourself nicely.
A small opening of music played, his show's theme was a tune you knew by heart and you never missed a day where you wouldn't hum it to yourself.
"Good morning New Orleans!"
Cheered a familiar voice, your own responding back to him despite you fully knowing that he cannot hear you at all.. yet a part of you knows that to a certain extent he knows you're very much present.
"Morning papa!" you smiled as your father's voice continued on to start his daily morning schedule. You proceeded to pick up your eating utensil to start eating.
"This is Alastor! Your favorite radio host here to join you on today's morning broadcast to start off your day with the latest news and weather! Today it's described to be of a nice warm sunny day with little to no clouds, yet it is said to get very chilly once the sun starts to set. So prepare those coats and scarves ladies and gentlemen!-"
You took note of the weather for today, remembering that you needed to have a fire on in the fireplace by the time father came back as well.. he’d probably arrive cold.
He continued on talking about small updates on politics but more or so on the music and entertainment industry, maybe even a little bit of 'gossip' talk about famous figures in pop culture at the time.. talking about latest trends and such.. you sorta admired that about him.. you ate your breakfast whole as you listening to him while sometimes he faded into background noise here and there.
During both your times alive, Alastor always kept up with the latest rages and knew as much as he could about the most recent fads while he was kicking it, even as he raised you he somehow always kept up with all these details.. it was almost fascinating.
Speaking of fads..
You couldn't help but frown slightly.. you were home alone, you could just sneak a peek and father wouldn't know.. but guilt ate at you.
'..I'll do it after chores.. ' you thought.
You finally finished your food and drink and placed your glass and silverware on your empty plate, prepared to pick it up and take it to the sink until you couldn't help but listen to him a little longer until his broadcast ended, which should come to a break segment.
You sat on the sofa and rested your arms and head against the arm of the furniture, feeling slightly full and a bit sleepy from what you ate but in the end it was all worth it.
You let out a huff of air from your lungs out your mouth, the sigh full and heavy.
Your father's voice deafened slightly as your eyes closed for a few seconds, your mind wandering off to your current life and how you were mostly content with everything.
Mostly everything.
You were mostly satisified with your life, you were happy. How couldn't you? You have a warm home, a bed, food, a caring father, caring friends-
Well..
Everything minus the friends.
Sure, you have befriended a few people but your father never let you ever hang with anyone your age. Ever since you no longer needed babysitters, you would lack communication with young people such as yourself.
It was nice that a few people around your age recongnized you as being your father's daughter, you enjoyed people seemingly knowing you off the bat simply because of who raised you but.. father would constantly deter you away from befriending others.
According to him, because of your connection to him there could be people in the world who want to do you wrong.. of course you believed him, you never really knew any better.
Sometimes the loneliness kicks in, you yearn to befriend those similar to you and to have the life of the average ordinary teenager.
But father wouldn’t let that, not for a second.
That is- of course if he never finds your hidden teen fashion magazi--
“And to my lovely daughter, ______, who must be leisurely resting at home.”
Your eyes opened up as your head perked up at the mention of your name. Your heart skipped a beat—
“Ughhh.. daaadd!..” embarrassment creepep up your neck into your cheeks, highlighting the red in your face while you groaned and shoved yo ur face back into the arm rest.
“Don’t forget that we’ll be heading out soon! Get your shoes and coat ready! Don’t forget, father loves you dearly!
And with that, our morning broadcast concludes as the afternoon is now setting. Don’t miss out on our evening broadcast where we’ll be singing a few gentle tunes to soften your night!”
Right.. it’s been a few short hours. You always wondered how your father could never stop talking or run out of words while on air, another talent of his you supposed.
You sighed as you dragged your arms and legs to pick up your dirty dishes, head back to the kitchen and clean them up before father came home.
Oh! And you almost forgot— you also went to set up that small fire in your home’s fireplace. It was rather easy for you to install, you’ve done it many times. Alastor wouldn’t let you do this unless he knows to trust you well and that you know exactly how to do it without burning yourself or the house down.. so you did this part without a hitch.
Even let your arms warm up to the soft ever glowing flames as well..
You knew that he was now wrapping things up with his coworkers and heading back home so you sped slightly so you would be able to get ready on time.
Once you were done you checked the time,
‘1:51..’
You read on the nearby clock, father gets here at exactly 2:00 at most times.
You stood there for a minute, pondering if you should scratch that hidden itch to the back of your head or if you should patiently wait.
But you’ve been waiting since yesterday to look at it..
Should you risk it??..
"One second wouldn't hurt.." you mumbled to yourself, and just like that you were gone in a flash into your room.
You sped so fast to the point that you almost stumbled slightly as you tried to carefully slide down to your knees and your head peeking under your large and heavy dresser.
Your hand reached under and moved side to side with your fingers trying to grip onto the familiar texture of flimsy paper-
"Aha!-"
You exclaimed as you felt your fingers curl around the sudden sound of crunchy paper.
Pulling it out you were met with three various magazines that you saw around the shops as the ideal fashion magazines for teen girls such as yourself.
You remember how you wanted one before but father says that it's not appropriate for a 'pure and gentle soul' such as yourself.
Oh boy if only he knew you had them now.. he’d absolutely go bananas! He would never let you out to get groceries again!
You quickly flipped through the first few pages of the first magazine, it's thin pages full of color and various designs of trendy clothes, accessories, make-up, hair, even love and school advice here and there.
Heck- even the celebrity photos caught your full attention, stars like Clara Bow, Louis Brooks, Anita Page, Madge Bellamy, Jean Harlow, Constance Bennett.. the list could go on forever!
It captivated you, making you curious of the outside world.
You stopped at a certain page, one where you purposefully bent the corner of the page as to remember the spot you wanted to go back to.
It was a particular piece of clothing, one that was all the rage. You stared at it for a bit in admiration and yearning.. you wished father would let you wear something like that. It was that unique shape, style, color/pattern, accessories and other smaller details that simply made you want to wear!
You slowly flipped the page over to the back, a part of the magazine you haven't yet explored, and your eyes widened.
'Call ****! And get your free order of this piece's sewing pattern straight to your home as to make it yourself at home with your own unique choice of fabric, colors, and/or patterns! CALL NOW!'
"No.. way.." you mumbled breathlessly, the sudden realization hitting your head like a broken wine glass to a skull.
Free sewing pattern?.. make it at home?? This is just a GAS! Perhaps you could order it and while making it you could most definitely tweak it a bit!.. to make it into something father would approve of or even let slide!
"I.. I've GOT to get this!-"
Before you knew it you were yet again scrambling on your feet to run towards the living room to the telephone with your magazine in hand, excitement rushing into your veins up your face as you now knew what you had to do!
"With the patterns maybe I can make it myself! make it my own!.."
Your hands esthetically rested the magazine with the number attached on the table the telephone rested on and you quickly started to dial the numbers to the device one by one. You awaited eagerly..
"Cmon cmon.. pick up pick up..!"
...
"Hello this is Everygirls Magazine, what can I help you with?"
"H..Hello! I—“
The phone was snatched right from your hand, you still tried to reach for it due to confusion but then realized who it was that took the phone from your hand.
"Hello there! My apologies for the disturbance-" rang Alastor's voice, sweetly apologizing to whomever was on the other side of the line.
"-but we accidentally dialed the wrong number. Thank you!"
Alastor gently placed the phone back on it's stand, in an almost threatening type of way.
There was silence, your father stared at the magazine before slowly picking it up. You couldn't bear to look at his face, not with that smile you were sure was plastered across.
Minutes passed that felt like hours, the silence was deafening with the only thing cutting it was the sound of paper rustling.
"Father.. " you mumbled, your hands curled and resting onto your chest in slight fear "Are you.. alright?.."
With no words he turned towards the hall, his steps sharp and loud as if confirming his presence and his title in the house.
He was going straight to your room.
"Father?... Father!.." you rushed to follow him, lagging a bit behind him. "Father where are y--"
You couldn't help but softly gasp as you saw him walk into your room and bend down to grab the rest of the magazines to take a closer look. He did all this without saying a word-- and that smile never faltered either.. not for a second.
He flipped through the pages a bit erratically but eventually just clenched the thin booklets in his right hand before suddenly walking up to you and grabbing your wrist with his left. He dragged you with a sudden uncharacteristically harsh and aggressive demeanor.
He was getting tired of your growing rebelliousness. He hated it.
Why couldn't you just listen?.. he was trying to keep you safe! In how own way!
"Father!.. hey!-- that hurts!--"
“Listen here young lady.”
Alastor’s voice was stern and commanding, as if intending to intimidate you.
And it did, you stood there in disbelief and fear.. yet you haven’t fully realized that the both of you were now in front of the fireplace. Its flames dancing, waiting.
“There will be absolutely no secrets under my roof, no misuse of your allowance, no misuse of your time outside that you are more than privileged to have." He was angry, fuming even despite the vaguely cool tone he tried to emit--yet..
His smile, was still there.
As if he was mocking you..
"I told you many, many times that these magazines are full of garbage only intended to rot your head with silly and useless ideas.."
You feared him.
"You've been disobeying me more than I hoped. you're rotting from the inside--"
what.
"Father--"
It wasn't until you saw him turn only to throw your magazines into the fireplace, tossing them mercilessly as he knew you'd watch with distraught eyes.
Tears were brimming in your eyes, your hands held together against your chest as to hold back any sobs.
To him they were just magazines, to you was everything you wanted to know and more.
"I'd hate to do this to you little dove, but no daughter of mine will get consumed by filth that'll decay your pure little mind."
His neck snapped quickly towards you, making you jump slightly and how fast and abrupt it did so.
"Do you understand, dear?"
You opened your mouth to speak but to your dismay nothing came out, but you cried.
Just cried, without warning the tears you tried so hard to hold back just spilled out the moment there was silence after his last sentence.
Your hands snaked up to your face to cover your eyes and tears from being more visible than it already is.
"Oh, darling. Shh.. no need to cry.." Alastor said, you heard his footsteps come closer and you couldn't help but have your shoulders stiff up when you felt his arms go around your shoulders, one of his hands gently patting your head as if trying to soothe you.
After destroying your things.
Even while speaking, you could hear him smiling.. you just knew he was.
"I saved you, little dove. You truly have the world's greatest father.."
(THANK YOU FOR READING THIS SPECIAL CHAPTER OF MY ANGEL BABY!!! AAAAAAAA thank you sososos much! for anyone who's still reading this now thank you so much for looking for my pics yet again and thank you to anyone new for checking this out! much thanks! I once again apologize for the lack of proofreading this time and any other potential issues, I'll try my very best to get back in the zone!
I hope to see you in the next chapter of My Angel Baby! Where we will continue with it's current story in hell and the usual format of the flashbacks at the end as a treat, bye bye!!)
#alastor#alastor the radio demon#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#hazbin#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel spoilers#hazbin hotel angst#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin#alastor and reader#alastor x reader platonic#alastor x you#alastor x oc#alastor x y/n#habzin fanfics#hazbinhotel#hazbin hotel fandom#habzin hotel#the radio demon#radio demon#alastor daughter reader#alastor fanart#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel fic#hazbin angst
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AO3 tag capitalisation and why you can't change it
Have you ever tagged your fic in all Title Case and then discovered one of your tags has become all lowercase when you hit save? Or had it become title case when you tried to type it in lowercase? Does this offend your aesthetic sensibilities?
If you said yes to any of these questions, I would like to offer my deepest condolences. I, too, have had this problem. Unfortunately, you can't fix it (except in one very specific situation).
The first time a tag is used determines its capitalisation (unless it becomes a canonical). For example, I'm sure not everyone who tagged kylux au intended for it to be all lowercase, but the first user who tagged it capitalised it that way, and so it remains. This is because the wrangulator (the part of the AO3 backend that handles tags; yes this is what we officially call it) treats different capitalisations of a tag as the same tag, and isn't capable of having it display differently in different fics.
There are two situations where capitalisation can change: firstly, it could become the exact phrasing of a canonical tag. This is what it's called when a tag becomes filterable and multiple tags that mean the same thing (called syns) get connected together and all redirect to the canonical. For more info, you can read this post I wrote! All canonical tags get changed to title case when they're made canonical, because the tag edit page that wranglers can see enables wranglers to change the capitalisation of a tag (it also allows us to change the diacritics, but not anything else). If your tag is a synonym of that canonical, its capitalisation does not get changed, only if you've used the exact phrasing that later becomes canonical (for how to tell what kind of tag something is, please see the post I linked earlier). For example, if I was the first user of the tag "obi-wan on tatooine" and typed it all lowercase, it will remain lowercase even when the tag wrangler syns it to the canonical "Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine". But if I was the first use of "obi-wan kenobi on tatooine" and typed it all lowercase, when it's canonised it will change appearance on my work to be in title case. Tag wranglers will never change the capitalisation of your tag in any other situation.
Secondly, if you are the only use on an unfilterable tag (which means it has not been synned anywhere), it is technically possible to change the capitalisation if you decide that you want to change how it looks later. In order to do so, delete the tag from your work. Then wait approximately 24 hours (give it a few more for leeway) and tag your work again. You should be able to now tag it with different capitalisation. The reason you have to wait 24-ish hours is because of a part of the wrangulator called the rake. The rake deletes any unfilterable tag that has zero uses (except if it's used in a tagset) approximately 24 hours after it's made. Notably, any tag that has been synned to a canonical does not get raked. If you want to check if your zero-use tag has been deleted yet, you can search for its exact text in tag search. If it still exists, it will be a search result and show (0) after it. If it's been deleted, it won't show up at all. It's important to note that just because an unfilterable tag shows up in tag search with (0) after it, that doesn't mean it will be raked in the future! These are usually tags in a tagset, which don't disappear. A tagset (example) is used by people running challenges for participants to have a pool of tags to choose from. There is no way to determine whether a tag is in a tagset, not even as a wrangler! You just have to assume it's the case if it never disappears. And remember, if anyone else has used the tag you're trying to change, it won't work!
So in conclusion: sorry about the tag that is the wrong capitalisation. You almost certainly can't fix it.
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ok so bear with me here, this theory is based on nothing but vibes and dreams and delusions.
buddie is going canon in 8x12 which is also episode 118 of 911.
i still find it so interesting that they decided to make bi buck canon (i will never ever ever ever get over bi buck canon, btw) in episode 100 of the show. i know that nowadays episodes 100 of shows are not as big as they used to be (mainly because shows rarely make it to them) but they still mean something big. something big enough to warrant press and cakes and such. and what did 911 do with their 100th episode? they made it about bi buck. in a way that forever links the essence of 911 and bi buck forever. and i find that so incredibly beautiful.
it would be logical to argue that episode 8x12, which is episode number 118 of the show that revolves around station 118, has the potential to be something different and special too. i think that the best way to honor this would be by making it a mostly lighthearted team-focused episode. give me bottle episode at the station where the team receives 0 calls all shift, give me an episode from the 3rd person pov of the people that they help on calls and how they view the 118, give me a the 118 gets locked in a room silly episode, just give me something fun and heartfelt that shows the 118 as the family that they are!!! and then.... and then....
give me the first real confirmation of buddie going canon at the end of the episode. and i mean the very last scene of it.
they already connected a big episode (7x04 aka episode 100) with a very big moment that many many fans had been waiting for (bi buck). why not connect the other very core episode of the show (their 118 episode which is nothing really and yet so special of them) with the other big anticipated thing that fans have been dying for for years.
and like y'all, bi buck is important in and of itself and i hope we all know that. but bi buck is so intrinsically connected to buddie too. and i mean both in fandom and in the canon as well. like we know what subset of fandom has been reading buck as bisexual for seasons now and it's not most of the casual viewers (though i hope some did). it was the buddie fandom. and in 7x04 the way that buck's realization arc was so incredibly connected with eddie and their friendship is astounding. like i still can't believe that it went that way. and that is a deliberate choice. there were a thousand ways in which they could have done it and then said "we are putting eddie diaz, evan buckley's best friend and the guy that everyone who wants bi buck ships him with, in the center of it." so it would be very on brand for producers and writers to give us the actual buddie of it all in episode 118 which could be an episode to touch the core of the show -found family, the firefighting aspect, the hope- which at this point includes buddie as well.
now we know NOTHING about s8 right now so this is where more vibes just get added but it would also make sense that it happens in 8x12 because that it the second half of the season. i feel like s8 is gonna start a little "dark" (and i just mean sad) for the 118. gerard is gonna be ruining their lives and making everything wrong. and eddie is gonna be doing badly, y'all. of course he is. so we can use the first 8 episodes to "solve" these things. eddie can finally be in therapy again for more than his ptsd. the 118 can be fighting to get bobby buck. the bucktommy relationship can be worked towards a break up that moves buck to the next stage of where he's going. and then s8b starts. and we have a "lighter" feeling. hopefully chris is back. bobby is back. buck and eddie are single and we can see that there is something there but for now it has been things that still maybe not everyone can catch on to. so then 8x12 happens and BOOM. buck and/or eddie realize/aknowledge/voice the truth of it all: it's always been about buddie. and then we have 6 more episodes in the season to explore that!!! which is a pretty fair number, i think.
so yeah, that is my-based-on-nothing-but-i'm-now-convinced-is-happening theory for a buddie canon confirmation in 8x12 aka episode 118 of 911.
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the one where Carlos is spotted at a certain singer's concert
y/nofficial Gracias por la noche maravillosa, España❤️🔥Te quiero mucho
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username1 Te amamos, Y/n ❤️❤️
username2 Estoy enamorada de ti 😍
username3 But can any of you tell me what was Carlos Sainz doing at the concert? 🤔
↳username4 Who? Is he like famous or something?
username3 GIRL-
username3 He's a Formula One driver... And currently single may I add
↳username5 I mean it's not like it's a secret that Y/n and Carlos know each other
username3 Wait, really? How do I find out about that just now?
username5 Y/n and Lando are in the same friend group literally, last winter break there were gossips going around about Lando dating Lily, Magui, Y/n, but they're all just one big friend group. Long story short Lando dragged Carlos to Y/n's concert
username3 How did I not hear about this 😭
username5 Well, maybe you just aren't on Tiktok, I hardly ever see people talk about this stuff outside of Tiktok
username3 That would explain a lot
username5 Yeah and they aren't very flashy with their friendship anyway, Y/n would sometimes appear in Romeo's post or be seen hanging out with Lando and Max but that's it
username3 Damn, to be a rich kid
landonorris we all know who that heart is for...
↳y/nofficial For the Spanish, obviously
landonorris for the spanish certainly
username5 Lando pls go be a menace somewhere else
username3 For the SPANISH?
username4 The concert was in Spain lol in case you can't read yet
username3 Yeah but you know who's Spanish? Carlos Sainz, that's right
username6 So Lando and Carlos went to that concert?
↳username7 It seems so, they were both seen there
↳username8 Someone said Lando DRAGGED Carlos there and I'm willing to believe it 😂
username9 I remember that live where Lando was unhinged and said Y/n is Carlos' celebrity crush 🤣 I don't think that's a coincidence
↳username10 The devil works hard but Lando Norris works harder
carlossainz55 Hermosa❤️ *this comment was deleted*
username11 WE SAW THAT, CARLITO 📸
↳username8 Saw what? 👀
username11 He commented "hermosa" but deleted it already 🤭
username10 Bro forgot to switch to his fangirl account😭
y/nofficial Don't worry, going back on tour soon, had to take a little break to enjoy time with my new boyfriend whom I love very much
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landonorris that's not quite what soft launching means
↳y/nofficial What do you mean? Can you see his face? Can you tell who he is? Exactly. So it's soft launching
landonorris I know EXACTLY who it is
username1 Don't be shy Lando, tell us, we can keep a secret...
username2 Betting my right hand that it's Sainz
↳username3 Prepare to lose a hand lol
username2 Why? It's clearly him
username3 Doesn't he have a race like tomorrow?
username2 Nope, it's summer break
username4 IT'S SUMMER BREAK AND HE'S SPENDING IT WITH HIS NEW GF Y/N🥰🥰
francisca.cgomes You're glowing lately ✨🩷
↳y/nofficial Oh, that's just the boyfriend effect 👹
username5 LMAO I LOVE HER
username6 i'm on my knees 🧎🧎🧎
↳username1 Lmaooo is that Carlos' fangirl account?
username3 Does he have one?
username1 I don't know, I'm joking, but if he did actually have an account like this, I can see him commenting this kinda stuff
username7 ngl guys I don't like her vibe, she has bad, dirty energy
↳username2 Stfu it's not like you ever had a chance with Carlos
↳username8 She has a bad vibe, because...? Because she took your man? Now your chances with him went even lower than 0?
username9 I get what people mean, she barely ever smiles, looks so grumpy on all photos
↳username1 I once had a chance to meet Y/n, she's actually a sweet angel!!
↳username3 She's just the normal black cat gf (and Carlos is the golden retriever boyfriend🥰)
↳username10 Trust me, she's that kind of person who seems angry/upset all the time, but when you approach them they're the nicest person you could ever talk to
username11 It's called a resting bitch face, I also have that 😭
username10 Same!!! People keep asking if I'm alright, but that's just the way my face looks lol
username12 Carlos bagged a baddie, I hope they never break up
↳username3 Never break up? Firstky they gotta make it official cuz for now we don't even know if that's Carlos
romeobeckham you're in love, we got it 🤮
↳landonorris yeah, she doesn't have to be so flashy about it, right?
romeobeckham literally
romeobeckham she never posts us, but the moment she gets a boyfriend everyone needs to know
landonorris did you see how on the previous post people were surprised we're friends?
romeobeckham maybe they wouldn't be if @/y/nofficial ever posted us
y/nofficial How about no? ❤️
landonorris you owe us
romeobeckham and you better pay up y/n
y/nofficial Chill out guys 😭 I'm getting us all out for dinner, how about that?
landonorris deal 🤝
romeobeckham i guess 🙄
username13 She owes them for what? 😏
↳username14 Probably for hooking her up with Carlos lol I wish it was a joke
carlossainz55 Cooking up love and filling our hearts up with songs that speak to our souls. Te amo, mi vida
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y/nofficial Te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden expresar❤️🔥
↳carlossainz55 I think they can, I really like the latest release
username1 I KNEW THE NEWEST SONG WAS ABOUT CARLOS I KNEW IT
username2 "In a world full of noise you've become my favorite song" 😭😭 of course it was about Carlos
username3 New parents alert and I love them
↳username2 I just hope they will never divorce like my real parents did
landonorris congrats or something for finally having the balls to announce it
↳y/nofficial Shut up or you're banned from the dinner
landonorris you can't ban me, if not for me you and Carlos wouldn't be together
↳carlossainz55 You should find a girlfriend too sometime
landonorris you told me the same thing a few years ago and it didn't work out, I guess I won't be taking any more love advice from you
username4 THE THIRD PIC I LOVE IT
↳y/nofficial The ribbon makes him so babygirl🩷🎀
username7 If she's usually the black cat, someone has to be the babygirl in this relationship
username5 I want a simp boyfriend in mi vida
username6 She made him a playlist 🥺 I wonder if it's her songs or love songs in general
↳y/nofficial There's some Adele, some Taylor Swift, some Shakira, just a bunch of romantic songs🫶
username7 Noooo I imagine them dancing to all these love songs while cooking and my single heart cries 😭 so happy for them, but I also what this kind of romance for myself
francisca.cgomes Can't wait to see Y/n in the paddock
↳y/nofficial Back at you!!
francisca.cgomes Matching outfits. What do you say?
y/nofficial I SAY LET'S DO IT
↳username8 They're about to become my favorite wag duo
#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 social media au#Carlos Sainz x reader#Carlos Sainz fanfic#Carlos Sainz imagine#Carlos Sainz smau#Carlos Sainz Social media au
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Doctor Who wilderness years tumblr simulator
👤 theother-deactivated
Can't stand this toxic ass account anymore. I'll have to make a new blog
👨🎓 thetasigma follow
Everyone come follow me over here
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🚬 fitz-kreiner
I'm sick and tired of the lack of nuance on this website! Having a dream about your mate where he's naked and your butts touch and generally thinking about having sex with him all the time does not make you queer!!
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🦋 eighth-doctor
I can't stand faction paradox. I bet their leader is a nasty ugly bitch
👴 grandfather-paradox follow
I bet you feel silly right now
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Everyone forget this happened
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👨🔬 third-doctor
My weed guy: this one is called Dust, youll be zonked out of your gourd
Me: yea yea whatever
2h later: the tardis walls are bleeding human blood. some weird guy here is psychosexually obsessed with me
6h later: A tear Sarah-Jane? No, wait a moment-
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Because you like #doctorwho
🙎♂️ the-stranger follow
Hi guys welcome to my new account. I'm just a traveller who tries to help people around the galaxy with my friend : )
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Turns out I was wrong about that. Here's an essay on why terrorism is necessary and okay
Read more
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🕰️ minister-of-chance follow
"aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?" no, actually, there are severe consequences to this type of thinking. We must always be aware of our higher responsibilities and act accordingly
🕰️ minister-of-chance follow
Nvm.
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🖼️ the-real-isaac-greatorex follow
Everyone here is just hating on me because I'm gay. Tying people up killing them and drinking their blood is my hyperfixation
🪨 lez-shaw
Get P.r.o.B.e.d idiot
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🦋 eighth-doctor
To be honest I sometimes feel like I might benefit from some love and romance
🚃 realwildthyme
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy doctor 💁♀️💖
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⛏️ benny-summerfield
Just one good day. Can I just have one normal day around here
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No
☂️ seventh-doctor
Afrrrrraid not
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Bad Fact: no. Die.
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Apparently I'm going under cover as an Australian. What's a good Australian name? I'm just gonna go with Bruce
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I swear to fucking god you gay little cunt
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Let's play never have I ever. I'll start. Never have I ever killed someone
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I think this game sucks
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Obviously
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more phagenda theories ft. analysis of dan's story bc i am painfully unemployed
hi besties it's me again. i'm reaching the point of waiting for the announcement where it's like that tweet about the plate of corn in encanto. i decided to go back and watch dan and phil's first videos to see what frames they used to see if it would reveal anything intersting and well... it kinda does, but also this theory falls apart a bit towards the end so. take this with a grain of salt this is just for fun i'm just yapping it's not meant to be that serious etc etc
so starting with phil's video blog, i believe the frame is from about 0:41 or at least very very close to there (based on the position of phil's paper):
(side note but i don't wanna get too off track: 2 seconds after this is when phil's curtain blows which like obviously is from wind but maybe in another universe it's some kinda sci-fi fantasy spirit ghost thing idk)
this section of the video is when phil is reading off a question from his linguistics exam. we know from "teaching dan to speak" that if youtube hadn't worked out and phil actually used his degree, he was gonna be a forensic linguist. okay so now, what frame is used from hello internet? this one isn't quite as easy to pin down but my best approximation is at 0:37, or at least somewhere soon after that (going off of dan's placement in front of the door):
this is the section of the video immediately after dan gets done saying some "really good friends" he's made recently persuaded him to "give it [making videos] a shot" which like, we all know means phil. when i say immediately i mean he finishes saying that at 0:36
i just personally find this intersting because like. for phil's video why pick a frame of him reading an exam when you could've gone with the thumbnail or him looking at the camera or something? with dan, i at first thought it was the very beginning of hello internet, but it's definitely not based on the way he comes into frame. instead it's right after he says that phil persuaded him to make videos... so this brings me to the ripple effect/alternate universe idea a lot of people have been throwing around. what if they chose phil reading his linguistics exam bc they are going to explore a universe where he becomes a forensic linguist? and of course, if he didn't do that, then dan wouldn't have made his video, because the part where phil persuades him to give it a shot never happened (this is where we get into dinok territory). ok so how does this fit with the other two shots we can see? (i'm not including something we want to tell you bc it would be impossible to know exactly where in the video that shot is from, and ofc i can't include the mystery one 💔)
(warning this is where this starts to fall apart lmao) now obviously the one from gtpwtw is from the yoga section:
how does this fit in with the alternate universe/choices theory? well, this particular moment is right when dan is asking phil "top or bottom," which obviously in the moment is a joke and it's a really inconsequential question. however, it is a question nonetheless, with two possible outcomes 👀
for saying goodbye forever... i quite literally have nothing, the shot they chose has nothing going on it's just them standing there as priest sean walks in at about 0:35 💀💀
anyway yeah, assuming they consciously chose what shots of videos to include, it might give more validity to the multiverse idea, regardless of what medium they present it in! ofc this could also all mean nothing and i am just grasping at straws (10x more likely) i just thought it was intersting :)
#pls do not take this too seriously thank u#dan and phil#phan#phagenda#amazingphil#daniel howell#wordvom.txt#d&p
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Americano PT. 7 | Jude Bellingham x Reader
What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?
A/N: I’m back baby! Thank you guys for waiting <3
W/C: 4.611
part six
"I won't look. Don't trust me at all, do you?" I mutter to Amira after taking my top off, grabbing the shirt she's handing me with my eyes closed.
"You'll like it. It's a part of my surprise." She sighs, helping me pull the shirt down my body without my makeup getting on the collar.
"Can I look now?" I ask, eyes still squeezed shut.
"Yeah, turn around."
I turn, looking in the mirror. I stay quiet for a moment, then gasp in surprise.
"What? An England kit? Why are you making me betray Spain?" I attempt to joke, looking at her.
"Like you didn't live here for so many years." She scoffs, pushing me.
"I'm just kidding. Why the kit, though?" I ask, fixing the material in the mirror.
"Ta da!" She exclaims, I look back at her, frowning in confusion when she starts waving two keycards in my face. My hands fly to take one and I read it quickly.
"No, way! You got tickets for the England vs. Australia friendly?"
"Yeah, got them a couple days ago." She replies, and I eye her suspiciously.
"Oh- mister Trent got them for you? Guess he really likes you." I tease, watching her become more and more flustered.
"Shut up- he gave them to show his appreciation."
"Yeah, you want to believe that? You'll be upgraded to wag in a few weeks, trust." I add, laughing at her annoyed expression.
"Aren't you and Jude a thing?" She accuses, putting on her own kit. Finally, she grabs her handbag and car keys off her desk.
I register her words a little too late, but my head whips around in disgust.
"Over my dead body."
"You both were cute last time." She mumbles, both of us walking up to her parked car.
"Absolutely not." I state firmly, immediately connecting my phone to the car.
"Oh, how the tables have turned.." She whispers, but I hear her clearly. I send her a glare, though my glare gets even more intense when she pulls out her strawberry and mango-flavored vape.
"Put that thing away, now!"
"I just realized how different watching a game feels when I'm not working." I say, admiring the full Wembley Stadium. We had finally arrived at our seats, and the view was perfect. Looking around, I do recognize some people, realizing this was probably the family section.
"Turn that working brain of yours off and enjoy. Look, it's starting!" Amira nags, wrapping her arm around mine in excitement.
I chuckle at her, deciding to just enjoy the match. Watching both England's and Australia's teams move around the pitch. Halftime comes around and ends quickly, making way for an opportunity for England. Grealish kicks the ball against the post, missing a chance and making us cringe, but we burst into cheers when Watkins manages to try again and scores.
The match ends with a 1-0 for England. When the whistle is blown, we sit down again. We'd stood up near full time, anticipating a last-minute goal from Australia. It was a friendly, we knew that, but making it exciting was so much more fun than just sitting there and watching the game.
"What now? Is your man coming here?" I ask, fixing my shirt and smiling cheekily at Amira.
"He said he will- after freshening up. Let's wait." She tells me, patting my thigh.
"Didn't even deny that he's your man?" I tease, watching her roll her eyes.
We're interrupted a couple minutes later. I hear someone shout her name, watching both Trent and Jude walk over to our seats. Trent greets us in a friendly manner, while Jude stands next to him like he was forced to come up.
I slowly allow Trent and Amira to have a private conversation, and my eyes land on Jude when they walk away to have some more privacy.
"What are you doing here? And what's with the kit?" He asks, arms crossed.
I scoff, mirroring his body language. Looking him up and down.
"Can't attend a match now? Don't worry, I was over the moon since you weren't playing." I retort, being petty.
I watch him roll his eyes, his expression changing for a second. He opens his mouth to say something, but he hesitates for a moment.
"Who's on your back?"
"What?"
"Your shirt number."
"I don't know- who?" I ask, turning around, confused, when I hear a sudden chuckle.
"Who's on the back?" I ask, trying to see with my phone camera, frowning at his smug face. What the hell was his problem?
I take a picture, turning to face him again as I click on the picture, freezing when I see Jude's last name and number. My expression falters, and I use all my strength to keep my composure.
Amira, you fucking witch..
"Think you're obsessed with me." He whispers, leaning in. I lean back immediately, like he's some highly infectious disease.
"You're sick, Bellingham. It’s just your name, calm down..”
I reply, annoyed at the fact that I couldn't take the shirt off or put my jacket on since I left it in the car.
He goes to say something else, but he's cut off when I hear a familiar voice call out to him. Both of us turning around to see his mom, her eyes lighting up with warmth when she recognizes me.
"Mrs. Bellingham.." I greet, permanent smile plastered on my face when she walks up to us. I notice both her- husband and youngest son behind her.
How could I not recognize his dad and brother?
This past summer, my entire social media feed was plastered with photos of Jude and his family on their first day. Not to forget the fact that I was literally behind the camera when the pictures were taken.
She pulls me into an embrace, her arms wrapping around me warmly. The musky and orange blossom scent of her perfume greets me, and it smells like the most expensive bottle of YSL 'Libre' I have ever smelled.
"How nice is it to see you here. Are you off due to international break?"
"Yes, I thought I'd come visit family and friends out here..." I trail off, my eyes darting to her husband next to her. She notices the hesitation in my voice and introduces us to each other.
"I’m Mark, nice to meet you. I have heard some good things about you. I've also had some contact with your father on some legal matters over in Spain. Good man he is.." He shakes my hand firmly, a very kind smile on his face.
"Thank you, I hope he's been a great help to your family.."
I immediately switch my speech. Trying to sound totally different from the tone I had used with Jude.
"Oh right, this is our youngest son. Jobe.." Denise begins, pushing her son towards me.
I press my lips together to stifle a chuckle, awkwardly shaking the teenage boy's hand.
"Nice to meet you. Hope you're a better football player than your older brother over here?"
I say, pointing a thumb at Jude. It sounds like a joke, but when I glance at Jude, he's giving me the nastiest look when his parents aren't watching. Jobe has only muttered one or two words, but has probably already been nicer to me than his brother has ever been to me.
Jobe only replies with a small smile, so I look up at his parents.
"You must be proud.."
"Of course, equally proud of our two boys.."
Mark replies, holding his son's shoulders. I chuckle, looking at Denise when she speaks.
"Did you enjoy the game? Must be a change of scenery.."
"Oh- yeah, felt weird not working during a game. It was nice though, I was invited by a friend-"
I trail off, looking around to see Amira, noticing her giggle and chat with Trent a couple seats away.
"But she seems busy.." I laugh, they follow my line of sight and chuckle, nodding in acknowledgment.
"You're also wearing an England kit.." His dad notices, pointing to my shirt.
"Jude's, I presume?" His mom asks, making me nod. I turn, giving them a quick look at the "Bellingham" and number 10 on my back.
I'm wearing their last name on my back, that is really weird, if given some thought..
"A gift too.." I smile, facing them again.
I notice that they all glance at Jude for a moment before Denise speaks up again.
"Why don't you join us for dinner tonight? A small appreciation for helping Jude out with his Spanish and adjusting in Madrid."
Damn, how close did they think we were?
Lovely, very nice of her, but that would be a masterclass in awkwardness.
"That's incredibly kind of you, Mrs Bellingham, but I'm sure you don't get many dinners together as a family. So, I don't want to inconvenience your family. Besides, I've got some dinner reservations with my high school friends.."
Her expression immediately turns into an understanding one. I thank her once again for the invitation, holding her hand to convey my appreciation. Finishing our chat, I grab my bag from my seat, pulling it on my shoulder.
"I've got to go, roads will be busy.."
"Right, why don't you accompany y/n down, son?" Mark says, throwing his son a look.
I dart my eyes to Jude, his expression falters before he nods, listening to his dad.
I quickly bid them farewell, walking down alongside Jude.
"You didn't even jump in to save me once.” I mutter, grabbing my phone out of my handbag. Checking for any messages from Amira.
Where did this little minx go?
"I was struggling to breathe when my mum invited you for dinner. Kept my mouth shut with difficulty.."
"How helpful.” I scoff, biting my lip in anticipation as we wait in front of Amira's car. The grey Audi A5 easily recognizable next to all the expensive sports cars.
"You can leave, you know.." I break the silence, looking up at Jude, resting my weight against the car door.
The alarm won't go off, right?
"You think my mom is going to be happy when I leave you here alone?" He asks, scrolling through his phone.
I sigh, sending one last threatening text message to Amira before shoving my phone in my pocket. An awkward silence ensues before I break it again.
"So, are you actually going to play next Tuesday against Italy?" I ask, giving him a skeptical look.
"Why? Want to see me play?" He smirks, putting his hand in the pocket of his blue sweatpants.
"Is that a genuine question? Obviously not.." I answer, furrowing my brows.
He scoffs, poking his tongue through his cheek. Looking me up and down.
"Why would I voluntarily come to see you?" I add, widening my eyes, looking at him in disbelief.
"Your friend will probably come, with the way we're waiting for her and Trent.."
I look around the empty parking lot, was this a camera prank?
What the hell were these two doing anyway?
Speaking of the minx, she finally appears a good ten minutes later. I could've sworn if she didnt have a deep skin tone, she'd probably be as red as a tomato. Because, honey she looked flustered.
I raise my brows at her- disheveled appearance, instinctively giving Jude a knowing look.
Though, my look of scrutiny stops when I realize those two were onto some- freaky shit. Seems like Jude realizes at the same time, because, he too looks away from me.
"I'm leaving.." He quickly blurts, walking away without looking back. I watch his figure disappear, snapped out of my trance when Amira taps me.
"What the fuck? What did you two do?!" I ask, laughing loudly. Sure, I was annoyed that I had to wait for her, but my best friend's happiness was more important.
"Get in the car! I've got to tell you every single detail.."
"What's it called again?" I turn to Amira, asking her about the name of the venue we're supposed to go to.
I had been in London for a couple of days now. From family dinners to meeting up with high school classmates, all of it kept me busy. Everything had been very fun and memorable so far.
Last night, England played their match against Italy for the EURO qualifiers. I couldn't lie, the 3-1 win for England was very satisfying, especially when watching live from Wembley Stadium.
Right now, Amira and I are in the car. Getting driven to the restaurant or bar - Trent had invited us to. A small gathering to close off international break, if you could call it that.
Small or big party, Amira and I had to look our best. For obvious reasons, I am wearing the black mini-dress I had tried on in Amira's office.
"Novikov Restaurant & Bar.." She mutters, touching her lipgloss up while looking at her phone camera.
"You ever been?" I ask, equally fidgety with my appearance.
"Yes, nice place, but we'll probably go clubbing after."
I raise my eyebrows at her, sighing, before leaning against her shoulder.
"Will you keep me from getting drunk?"
"Can't save you, darling.."
Yeah, y/n is an absolutely a goner. Everyone within meters of her is aware of it, though to her, her limit has not even been reached yet.
She throws her head back as she downs another shot of- she doesn't even know. She took and gulped down anything that was handed to her by her best friend.
All she knows is- it burns in the back of her throat- like a fucking bitch. She doesn't even stop to think about why she's doing it, all she's been wanting to do, is take her mind off work and university. The opportunity was presented to her in a shot glass, and who would refuse?
A smart, responsible person, probably...
"Go dance with him.." y/n mutters, wiping the spilled and dribbling alcohol off her chin. Eagerly pushing her friend in Trent's direction.
The football player had invited the both of them for a reason, and to drunk y/n this was a good opportunity to play Cupido.
"No! I want to dance with you." Her friend replies, grabbing y/n's wrist.
"Go! You can dance with me anytime, go now!" She ushers, pushing Amira away with all the strength in her arms.
She giggles to herself when she notices Trent grab Amira's hand, feeling like her mission was partially accomplished.
Though, her happiness is short-lived when she curses herself. Her feet were practically going numb due to the stilettos her stylist bestie had forced her to wear.
To forget the uncomfortable feeling, she decided to get another drink. She clutches onto her handbag, starting to walk- or stumble towards the bartender.
She knew how to have fun on her own, there was no problem in that regard.
"Oh, fuck- sorry.." She slurs, looking up when her forehead collides with a hard chest. She makes immediate eye contact with a completely sober Jude, he raises a questioning brow, taking her disheveled appearance in.
"I take it back.." She loudly says, pushing past him to get to the bar. Loud music drums into her ears, causing her senses to tingle.
She's about to order a drink, but before she has the opportunity to speak, she's rudely interrupted by someone.
"A whisky neat, for the beauty here.." Someone says, she turns her head in a flash. Fucking pissed, a man dared to speak for her and over her.
It's a young man, around her age- slightly older judging from his appearance. His brown hair is slicked back with an estimated ten kilograms of hairgel, along with the tackiest combination of a white button-down and- skinny jeans.
"No, thank you!" y/n replies waving her hand and shouting over the loud music. She blinks a multitude of times, trying to clear her vision and mind.
"What'd ya mean, luv? Not suited to your taste?"
"I'm not interested.." She says, turning away from him and ordering her own drink. Fidgeting with the clasp of her bag and pulling bills out of her wallet.
"Oh, come on. Can't you see how much of a catch I am?" the douchebag insists, pointing up and down his frame.
She rolls her eyes at the words. This time her eyes might stay there permanently because the stranger continues repeating the corniest of words.
"No, thank you.." She repeats, taking a huge gulp of her pink Cosmo, looking away, and continuing to ignore him.
Should she start barking like a rabid dog to scare him off?
"Come on, babygirl... Would it hurt to smile for me?”
She almost chokes on her drink at the words. Eyes hazy and unfocused, one thing she's sure of- this man is about to get a taste of her leather handbag.
"Does it look like I'm interested?!" Her voice isn't loud, though her tone is sharp and full of irritation. She takes a step back, giving him the most repulsed look.
"I like my women feisty and alluring like you.." The guys persist, placing a nasty hand on her hip, a little too close to her backside.
"Get your filthy hand off me.." She demands, the grip on her glass tightening. Her brows furrow and her mood drops tremendously fast.
"Your words are sharp, but your body seems to be enjoying this. Let loose for me, sweetheart. Won’t ya?” His breath reeks of the most pungent alcohol she’s ever smelled, and his hand keeps inching closer to her bottom.
'Oh, fuck no' she thinks, placing the glass on the bar table. Readjusting her grip on her bag.
"Can you fuckin' let go of her?" She hears a loud voice say, Brum accent thick, but it's already too late.
She moves her handbag behind her, creating a good distance for maximum impact, before using all her force to hit the guy square in the face. The contact makes a loud noise, and surprisingly enough, it's detectable over the insanely loud music.
The guy immediately retreats, stumbling a couple steps back in shock. He cradles his head, screams of agony leaving his disgustingly filthy mouth.
"I said no- didn't I? Are you fucking deaf?!" She curses, temperature rising as she breathes in harshly. She can't even register what's happening- but he deserved it and had it coming.
"Let’s go..” A familiar voice exclaims, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her towards the restroom. He pulls her into the unisex section, locking the door behind them.
She struggles against him, her heels tripping and scratching against the floor. The now blood-stained handbag slips out of her hand, dropping to the floor.
"Let me go! You fucking creep! I swear, I'll bite it off!" She shouts, eyes shut tightly, as she hits his rock-hard chest multiple times. Hand squeezed up in a tight fist as she keeps trying to get out of his hold.
"y/n!" He shouts, trying to get her to look at him. He doesn't know the full story of what happened. All he saw was the guy touching her, putting his hands on her, and he was sent flying with a blow to the face.
Jude is impressed, though that's not his main thought or concern when y/n is fighting him as if he's the guy who was bothering her.
She’s drunk, but still recognizes his voice. The way he pronounces her name, not with venom and hatred per usual. No, instead, with the upmost panic and concern. He wants to snap her out of it, back to reality, back to him.
Her eyes snap open, arms held tightly by Jude. His fingers digging into her skin. Both of his hands keeping her up and steady.
"Jude?" She mumbles, looking up at him with the widest eyes imaginable. Her mascara running down her hot and sweaty face. Her favorite lipstick smudged at the corner of her mouth.
"It's me, you're good." He replies, noticing the faraway look in her eyes. His voice softens, lowering to a gentle decibel. Unlike the booming and ear-deafening music and conversations outside of the enclosed space they're in.
"Sit.." he gestures, pointing to the restroom countertop. She looks up, blinking repeatedly, she's not thinking of sitting when her mind and thoughts are still hazy and in fight or flight mode.
"Can I lift you up?" Jude suddenly asks, his hands leaving her arms. It sends a surge of extra adrenaline through her body, but she nods absentmindedly, looking away.
Jude takes a deep breath, hands reaching to the back of her thighs. He lifts her up easily, placing her on the countertop. His biceps flex under his sleeves, a frustrated noise leaving his lips.
y/n sniffles, the shock of it all sobering her up a bit. She raises her head, looking up at him. He stands in front of her, practically in between her legs.
He looks away, grabbing a paper towel from the roll and handing it to her.
"Here, wipe your- nose.." He mumbles, watching her. He walks away and grabs her bag off the floor, meticulously wiping the blood away with a dampened paper towel.
"Fucking bastard.." Jude mutters underneath his breath, venom on the tip of his tongue, as anger rushes through his veins. Though, y/n had practically handled it all on her own. Even in her drunk- mess of a state, she’d managed to break the lowlife’s nose and his ego.
The only thing that kept him from running out and breaking the bastard’s limb was the image of him already suffering and withering on the ground. Bloody, broken nose making him look so pathetic and disgusting, like the person he genuinely is.
y/n wipes her nose, eyes wet and irritated. The pounding in her head seems to increase as she struggles to hold her tears back. Although, she’d kept sort of calm in the moment, her heart was hammering in her chest. She could stand up for herself, that was no problem. It was the fact that she wasn’t fully coherent, which made her feel absolute terror in the moment.
All of the mixed emotions and alcohol make the nauseating feeling in her chest and stomach worse. Her eyes flutter for a moment, and she gags, clamping her hand over her mouth.
The noise alerts Jude, it takes him out of his murderous and aggressive thoughts. He looks up, immediately holding his hands out to her.
"Are you going to be sick?" He asks, eyebrows raised. She nods, hand still clasped around her mouth. Her mouth salivates, an imminent sign of needing to puke. It prompts Jude to help her down the countertop, his hands on both of her sides.
When her feet hit the floor, she practically leaps over to the toilet, retching and heaving over the toilet bowl. A warm hand is placed on her nape and forehead, trying to put pressure on those parts to stabilize her.
A choked sob leaves her dry lips, sweat beginning to glisten on her forehead. There was nothing she hated more than throwing up, the way it made her feel weak and out of control was an absolute nightmare to her.
"It's alright.." She hears, the soft whisper reaching her thumping ears. She takes a breath, squeezing her eyes tightly before heaving again. Her body shakes as all fluids leave her stomach, and the pungent smell of stomach acid makes her condition even worse.
It's all a blur, like a foggy fever dream. The only thing she can register are the sweet words reaching her burning ears. Full of reassurance and gentleness while she felt like she was losing her mind in the moment.
I hold back a gasp as my eyes land on the photo on my Instagram feed. I immediately sit up from my chair. My jaw slacks open as I read the caption.
"Jude Bellingham and alleged girlfriend spotted getting cozy after Australia friendly."
"The 20-year-old Madrid star seemed pretty happy to see his name and number on her shirt. The moment was captured by attendees, who provided us with pictures of the athlete's parents and his alleged lover having a seemingly very nice conversation. It seems like Mrs. and Mr. Bellingham approve."
"The identity of the young woman hasn't been revealed or confirmed as of yet. With some speculation about her father having close ties to Real Madrid CF."
I resist the urge to cry my eyes out at the association and immediately stand up from my desk. Practically skipping steps when running down the stairs, almost running into a group of fellow staff members.
My eyes dart around the cafeteria to spot the douche I needed to find. I make a beeline towards him as I watch him interact with the other players.
"I'm sorry, guys. I need him for a quick moment."
I say not waiting for anyone to answer. I grab onto Jude's upper arm and drag him out of the cafeteria. I hear some teasing whistles behind us, but I ignore them as I pull him into one of the small meditation rooms.
"What are you even doing-" he begins, but I cut him off as I shove my phone into his face. Showing him the photos and the caption which will probably keep me up tonight.
"What the fuck is this, huh?" I ask, raising my brows. Analyzing his facial expression as I fold my arms defensively.
I expect him to frown, get angry, get upset, but instead-
He fucking smirks, an amused chuckle leaving his lips. He snatches my phone, fingers tapping to read the comments on the post.
"Really? Is this a laughing matter to you?" I exclaim, ready to have a mental breakdown, while he just continues scrolling through the comments, starting to read them out loud.
"Not his usual type."
"He can do better."
I grunt, snatching my phone out of his hands, annoyed.
"I can play this game too, idiot!" I say, scrolling through the comments as well.
"He must be crazy, she's too pretty for him." I begin, passive aggressively reading positive comments about myself. I look up at him, watching him roll his eyes as he shoves his hands in his pocket.
"Well? What are you going to do about it?" I say, turning my phone off.
"What can I do about it?"
"This is your fault? If you weren't annoying me with your stupid antics, they wouldn't have made these speculations."
"You engaged in my 'stupid antics'!"
"Ugh- just send a cease and desist letter or something!"
"It's an Instagram gossip page, not a damn newspaper!"
I huff in annoyance, pacing around the small room.
"Can't you like- deny rumors?"
"I'm a football player, not a reality TV personality! They speculate about everything in my life already. Why would I deny them this time around?"
"Is that a question you really want an answer to?"
"Come on! What bad does it do you to be tied to me? Only good if you ask me.." He shrugs, and I don't miss the smirk on his face.
"Never mind, I'll ask my dad to handle it!" I say, walking past him to push the door open. I close my eyes in annoyance when it doesn't budge.
"You need to pull.." I hear Jude speak, the smile on his face practically audible from behind me.
"Fuck off.." I mutter seething in anger, pushing the door open and leaving him behind in the meditation room.
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