#I can't show everything I want in terms of character analysis in my fics

[pistatsia]

Isagi Yoichi: problems with anger expression

Clickbait, right? One would think that what kind of anger expression problems could there be with a guy swearing on the field with war-crime level insults and joyfully bringing a child a few years younger to tears?

The kind where one derives from the the other.

Now, let's figure it out.

To do so, we'll have to go back to Isagi's novel (hoshi801_ translation is used for all of the quotes). From it, we know that Isagi grew up as a quiet and shy child. "He never gets into fights with his friends and never disobeys his teachers."

Nevertheless, it ended quite simply then - thanks to Noa, he learnt how to express his anger and negative feelings. Problem? Only on the football field. The novel says he "was fearless in running into his opponents, as if he had never been a crybaby." 

He was winning, and what he liked best about football - his football, Noa's football - was the beauty of Noa’s playstyle brutality. Because that's what made it an acceptable outlet for him - fighting with friends is bad, arguing with teachers is not allowed - but on the football pitch you are free. You can be angry. Football became his safe space.

Except that then Isagi entered the root of all his troubles - Ichinan.

Even before it, the novel mentioned and emphasised Isagi's inability to express himself. For a while, despite this, his plans worked: the coaches let him play the way he wanted, and he didn't have to come into direct conflict with them.

But that trick didn't work in Ichinan - the dream school suddenly turned out to be somehow strange, and Isagi felt that he wasn't allowed to fulfil his potential here.

But no one on the team was unsatisfied by the current system.

Even before the conversation with the coach where he was ridiculed Isagi had tried to test the waters. Specifically to test - he doesn't say anything outright in fear of being rejected. "Uhm, Tada-kun… don’t you think there’s something wrong with this?" he asks his club mate very cautiously, while in thoughts having more direct “Huh? Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous?”. It's written out separately in the novel that "he watches the expression on Tada's face to see how he'll react" - Isagi already has problems. He's already learnt that he can be rejected if his opinion doesn't coincide with the majority - especially since the conversation wasn't taking place in 'football territory', where he was more or less able to talk straight. 

Having an opinion for Isagi means isolation.

But he still tries one last time - one that finally cracks him up, convincing him that the others know better and he just needs to be patient.

In the novel his friends are "Surprized, seeing the quiet and obedient Isagi talk to the coach" - again, he is used to keeping quiet and not risking. Still, he dares to - and is immediately ridiculed for allegedly trying to "show off". 

And this is what finally kills in him the will to resist. Because losing his friends and football is more terrifying for him than losing himself.

What does the novel says about Isagi after this episode? "He is afraid of being disliked for being assertive", "always timid", "compliant". "When his friends get excited, Isagi would say something like this: “Uh, yeah… me too”."

"He just goes with the flow."

Isagi agrees with Tada's taste in girls, agrees to eat what he doesn't want to, pleases in every way possible just so he won't be abandoned. He obeys the coach's strategy, and even on the field - the only thing that gave him joy and was a safe place for him - he ends up obeying the rules his surroundings have imposed on him.

He doesn't try to argue, he doesn't try to prove anything - he just chooses the safest path, the one where he doesn't do anything and doesn't fight, but he stays safe. Not abandoned.

What's the conclusion?

Isagi doesn't know how to express anger at all. He just hasn't learnt it because he hasn't tried it. And most importantly, doesn't know how to express it correctly.

Why is it necessary (and important) to know how to anger correctly in the first place? The point is that for the mentality anger is a kind of marker that lets us know when our interests are violated and our needs are not satisfied. Which by its presence helps us to build boundaries and achieve what we need. Anger is the power and energy to change an unpleasant world to suit us and achieve our goals.

But Isagi was shamed for showing negative emotions and for any attempt to express himself. He was shown non-verbally that any expression of self and attempt to argue, even just a different opinion would be received grudgingly, that you had to agree on everything, that if you tried to argue you would be rejected and not only that, you would lose the football.

And Isagi tamps down the anger inside himself - he no longer stands up for himself, and holds back the anger to the last, storing it up inside for years.

He develops a ban on anger.

And in general, not just anger - any negative emotion. He is unable to express even the despair of losing to Kira correctly; he tries to suppress it, to muffle it, the novel explicitly states that he attempts to lock it up inside, but in the end, having overflowed, this despair against his will burst out in a scream. Isagi suppresses all negative feelings in general. Aside from the crying part, this repressed anger is evident even in the first chapter, when he imagines the goalkeeper in tears from defeat, and dreams of crushing Kira. Without saying it out loud, though.

And in that 'against his will' lies the main problem of why exactly anger needs to be lived out properly. 

Because otherwise it'll spill out just like that scream - desperate, seething, expansive, and the worst part?

Uncontrollable.

What is the danger of not controlling the expression of anger? Why can't we just hide it inside and keep smiling, without causing anyone problems and without wasting the resources of our body on it, just adjusting? Yes, in doing so you lose your freedom of expression - so what? 

Because anger doesn't disappear over time. It is put inside layer by layer, day by day. 

And sooner or later you can't hold it back.

In life this rarely ends well: if a person holds themselves to a completely unhealthy level of control they may at some point experience an episode of derealisation - when repressed feelings become so abundant that the brain rolls out one of the strongest self-defence mechanisms - detachment. If it doesn't? One goes off the rails: he overreacts to the smallest of things, he is thrown from one-time hook-ups to drugs and alcohol. The accumulated anger begins to destroy from the insides.

But Isagi, as an adaptation specialist (unconsciously, most likely) has come up with a great answer to this, learnt from childhood and from the show with Noel Noa. Which one? Express anger where it would be considered normal.

Blue Lock with on-field swearing works for Isagi for many reasons at once. He got Bachira, who showed him that there's nothing wrong with expressing his angry-self - he'll be accepted, he would even be welcomed, it's okay to be angry! He got Chigiri and Kunigami, Nanase and Hiori, dozens of people accepting him no matter what (but in personal conflicts outside the field he usually still doesn't know how to behave - he prefers to withdraw and wait for things to resolve themselves - but that's for another time). Here, also, the issue of survival came into play, as expressions of anger and rage were cultivated by the Ego itself, sometimes specifically manipulating the players to do so.

There's also the application of the familiar pattern of his pre-Ichinan childhood ('I play football as rough as Noa - I'm doing well, I'm not alone, and I achieve my goals because it happens on the field, so it doesn't mean anything'), the general tense atmosphere, and a fair number of trigger characters who would drive even a saint to their grave (heh, Kaiser, heh). Isagi in general has more to do with football than almost all of Blue Lock's characters. Manifestations of anger and determination as a child (on the football field!)? Noa. Manifestations of them now? Blue Lock. He continues to use mechanisms familiar from childhood to protect himself, adapting them to new realities.

(basically, even the fact that Noa is around - who, again, once gave little Isagi the opportunity to express himself openly on the field - can have an impact on the escalation of Isagi's behaviour around Kaiser and Bastards. Whose presence and support is associated with a safe expression of himself)

like father like son

And uncontrollable anger bursts out, but for now like water from a cracked jug - in jolts, strong and those impossible to shut down, but from just one place. The swearing at the match and the opportunity to openly express himself and his objectives (remember how he shouted at Noa that his system doesn't allow him to score goals hahaha) allowed him to relax, to partially release the anger accumulated over the years - all without any realisation on his part. He doesn't even have to do anything - it all resolved itself. He's not being rejected, he's playing the way he wants to play and yet he's angry! That's great!

And everything seems to be fine, right?

The problem is that Blue Lock's setting just isn't going to work in the long run. Ego will be there for the rest of the project - another 2-3 months - and for training for the World Championship, for the Championship itself, and... that's it. The project ends, Isagi flies off to play in another country, but who can guarantee that the environment for such an expression of anger will be replicated there as well?

At one point, access to the field and, in principle, to the competitive and encouraging environment for such expressions of character in Blue Lock is bound to be cut off. There are gaps between seasons, injuries, end of career, and the simple fact that such expression depends on how much the coach allows to players - at some point Isagi may well be silenced.

And then all the accumulated, bubbling anger inside, which is now used to being expressed regularly, will spill out - and not on the safe field, where much can be blamed on adrenaline, but on his loved ones, his career and himself.

[fourteenfifteen]

may i request some friends at the table fic recs? i haven’t ventured really into the tag

HELLO ANON yeth you can.

i am not an expert and have not read everything but i have some faves! which i will sort by season for your convenience : ] also i have not finished sangfielle so i can't help you there lo siento. if you want more fics i would say a good place to start is @arwainian's fic marathon project. he has been reading everything in the tag and recommending things as he goes there's probably as many recs as u could want right there

ALSO stating at the top that i also write fic! not going to rec any of mine but i'm kind of a hottie i won't lie to u so that's there

OK recs under the cut

these are not in any particular order within seasons!

pzn/pld [at the top bc i have a palisade fic agenda]:

bad endings by elanoides

the stellar combustor arc but a time loop. amazing writing and an instant fave as soon as i read it. i mean come on dude it's a time loop fic come onnnnnnnn

i will reveal you by rozecrest

a recent addition to the tag that i really liked very fun brnine/gucci fic. where's that post about wanting every fic to also be a literary analysis essay that's me rn

use you as a focal point by joeysnowy

theeee crysanth/SI fic which ok it's a niche market but this is just a great one

party 2nite @ bc, rsvp capt. kb by fangirl_squee

VERY fun fic where the blue channel hosts a halloween party. i was giggling bro i won't lie to you

tm:

the cat who got the whipped cream by bluecloak

how often do you get to say that the most kudosed fic in a tag totally earns that in terms of quality? lovely and funny and absolutely gorgeously written

my place to land by lady_mab

yes it's the longest fic in the tag yes it's worth the time. total au that still manages to hit that tm vibe

as many times as it takes to get it right by theorangewitch

i just read this for the first time within the last couple weeks and oof it's a great one. very funny and creative and sweet reincarnation fic

excerpts/yours/beloved/signet.asmblg by kalcifer

signet and belgard twine fic!! great shit this one goes out to all the divine likers

c/w:

rising water by yellow

in lieu of a summary i'm just going to say that i'm actively not a cassmako person but i have read this fic a dozen times

light up the way by harpydora

damn i love these crazy kids. very good fix it fic for the ppl who cried at the end of counter/weight (everyone i assume)

hieron/marielda:

moving shadows / moving light by waveridden

uhh ok so do you know the reality show naked and afraid. ephrim and throndir on that. my secsam gift from last year which was a PRIVILEGE

champions of the world by fangirl_squee

an elaborate hieron hockey au longfic. very cozy and well-thought out

presque vu by fangirl_squee

ok this one is odd and hard to describe but very cool. genuinely have read very few fics like it. read if you like: hieron's tone, weird aus, and magical realism

and i follow just to find you by angstandcaffeine

oh my godddd i love this fic. the cw's supernatural WISHES

the killing of the king god's car by the traitor prince maelgwyn by thunder_rolled_a_six

a total classic that probably everyone would recommend to you. marielda high school au but ok i don't usually like that kind of thing so trust me on this one

fits and starts by luckydicekirby

augh. oh my god. does anybody else like crying. totally amazing samfam fic that really digs into god weirdness in a way that i love and also yeah it broke my heart

making something new by harpydora

love the samol characterization in this one also i just think it's fun

other?:

who put love in my head? by kaynara

does anybody else remember half past and flashback and absolute territory? no just me? ok well in any case this fic is so fun and the character voices are so great

ok that feels like a good list! i could absolutely generate a dozen more but i'll leave it there lol generally i will say the fic generated by this fandom is pretty high quality and you'll have a decent experience just looking around in the tag like there's some good stuff in there. worth taking a chance on things (esp recent stuff!)

[bentosandbox]

More sporadic Lone Trail ramblings/TLs

prev one here this time more about the saria/kirsten/mumu trio and fanservice and the CGs in general spoiler warning etc etc

1

(From 4-END) Silence asks Saria if she's incapable of standing against Rhine Lab because deep inside she's the same as them and when she finally answers she's like

......I'm sorry, Silence. I did think about it thoroughly, but I can't give you a definitive answer. If Kirsten's experiment does touch a law that should not have been, then I will stop her, just like all the mistakes Rhine Lab has committed over the years-- they ought to be corrected, for I have always believed, the more power one holds, the less they should act recklessly. But if I were to go back in time, to the moment where Kirsten and I first met, when everything had yet to transpire...I would not have stopped her then, nor the birth of Rhine Lab. Yes, even if I knew that Rhine Lab would create this many Catastrophes, even if I could have predicted that Kirsten, Parvis and Ferdinand would eventually grow out of control-- I would still have stood together with them as I did.

(From 5-END) Mumu:

Did you know? Back then, Saria and I even picked out Kirsten's clothes. Yup, Saria cares about fashion more than she does! (Control truly only has 1[or 2 lol] things in her brain)

Yara (HR and the one responsible for Silence2's outfit) is basically kind of a parent figure to Kirsten 🥹 (so I guess they're a parallel to Silence and Iffy...)

uhm what else. the 3 of them used to go stargazing together and in a flashback mumu picks up a (shiny) rock

Mumu: Kirsten, see that rock on the ground? What does it look like? Kirsten: ...... Mumu: It's like Saria, right? It's so hard(like, firm) and yet it shines so 'perfectly'! Kirsten: ...Like the stars.

idk how global is going to do this part but in CN (and in JP?) Rhine Lab is literally 'Rhine Life' and mumu asks if Kirsten really wants to name it that instead of something like 'Rhine Physics' since she 'just wants to fly to the sky' and she says no, RL is good, because

I want to know what exactly are the stars we see. I want to know what lies beyond the barrier wrapping around us. I want to know...to see just what kind of land do we live in, if I can really take a look while standing among the stars.......Most of the answers I want are about 'us'.

oh one last one quote out of context for you fic writers Saria (to mumu): You're the same as always. The moment you get a little nervous, you forget just how frail your body is.

2

Love the idea of mumu being doc's bestie/oomfie but her and hol's lines/whatever else have irreparably damaged the AK ecosystem fr tbqhwyf and i thought skadol was bad lol. Now we'll have triple the NTR jokes great amazing wonderful (i launch myself into space)

'But its rationalized they're all the last of their kind!!!!' Justification doesn't fucking matter the damage has been done to their (perceived) characters i want my insane morally fucked up scientists not some generic lonely gf that steals the mc from other girls or some harem bullshit forgot what the term was and i dont want to know

Imagine getting a generic ass cg of 'pov mumu is so sad and helpless and needs your help to rescue her!!' (this happens after and not getting one for the extremely kino saria and mumu fight where you find out more about just how inter-connected the 3 of them were (are…?) and saria is first overwhelmed by all the water and she remarks how shes has never seen water(from mm) this turbulent before but within the waves she cant find the elf and all she finds is are sad eyes and tears…I can only feel pity for Mumu fans who don't give a damn about shipping themselves for her. speaking of CGs...

3

AK is clearly inspired and references a lot of IRL media and it shows with their graphic design work (UI, motion graphics etc) here's a link to a Lone Trail analysis but....for some reason the story CGs are quite bereft of the same energy (dare i say passion even lol) imo

ofc CGs are to immerse you in the story etc etc and they're really pretty but

how immersive is a fucking practically copypasted photobashed kirsten (the CG is very beautiful otherwise I love aZling4's rendering style sm.. probably my second favourite CG after the depressing 2nd lobby one you get post-ST4 where......shes also in the same pose.........motherfuckers)

Like man could you not have posed him any other way than hand in pocket with average cosplayer photoshoot lighting

this CG of hol almost getting rekt by saria is pretty weak imo that grip is non-existent nothing much to say (atm) about hol but that i love fanart where she looks/acts like a freak instead of (90% of fanart)

saria literally just fell from almost space back to earth and she looks almost unscathed lol mumu's water can't possibly be that rejuvenating

Maybe it's meant to be kind of incomprehensible but uh when the story went tonight the truth is finally glimpsed by humans for the first time or something I was like ....what is even happening in this picture lol

idk like doing partitioned CGs like how limbus does it would be so good tbh sometimes all they just show is a face and its like ? all that space? I'm guessing the artists have to do the concept/compositions themselves and some just have fresher ideas than others or time constraints etc basically i would just love to see CGs that are references to kino movie shots or something, they love movies so much right??? what about some good cinematography????

Dont want to sound like im flexing my useless veterans card or whatever but like. im a day 0 fan, i played their OBT, i started my acc on day 1, i remember being so excited about this game being so different from the other mobages, i didn't like how GFL was becoming way way more fanservicey then so AK was like a literal noah's ark with a whole bunch of artists ive revered from my touhou days, and now seeing it (inevitably!) slide towards GFL and the average mobage has me like 'well im glad limbus exists they let their women wear pants and be irredeemably insane(looking at you talulah 🥲)'

regardless of all that complaining this might beat italiano perros for favourite event because i was one of those kids with a space phase and something about the trio's dynamic.... (brain chugging) something about water unable to move unshakeable earth (but it can soften though...) that in turn can never reach the sky you know you know just like how a tiger can never be on the same level as a dragon 'real' animal vs mythical

[rarepairronpa]

Curious, what are your thoughts on Junko/Sonia?

Oh, I love Sonia and Junko! I've actually written a few works that include them!

They were explicitly romantic in your suicide blonde, which is my big Junko character study, as well as what does despair mean to you? which is one of my Remnants works.

But I also explored/implied them in hurt people? hurt people! (my remembering disease fic) And am likely to explore them in who is dating Junko Enoshima? & probably scavenging mice will surround her carcass, crocodiles crying at the loss of their goddess. I also explored their relationship, though it wasn't romantic, in the side stories for my BNHA/DR crossover, bellyache.

So, you know, I've written a bit about them!

I think there's a ton of angles to consider them from, but my favorite is a despair!Sonia angle without the brainwashing video (as you can probably tell). Which, that in and of itself has a ton of angles to explore.

Imo, there's three ways Junko gets Sonia to her side: through her love of serial killers and moral debates, through how she wasn't allowed to despair, and through how they are both dehumanized as a symbol/idea.

Sonia's stated reason for being fascinated by serial killers is their morals. She wants to understand them and their divergent belief systems, because she is a kind and empathetic person who wants to create a better society. Junko would have a field day with this. I can picture her goading her into many, many debates on ethics, on what's right or wrong, through a mutual love of the macabre. Just, nudging her slowly until she sees things her way, until Sonia is thinking like her. I can picture so clearly dates in the library just talking, and talking, and talking until Sonia realizes it's been hours of this, and she didn't even realize it until she looked at a clock. Time flew by. Time lost meaning, because Junko is there, interested in her interests, engaging with them, debating with her, being facinating and interesting, always with something new to say that Sonia didn't even consider. I can imagine she'd be a bit in awe at the whirlwind that is Junko.

I don't think these dates would mean a lot to Junko, at least not at first. They're an interesting thought experiment, but she considers herself above everyone in terms of analysis, so she wouldn't get much out of Sonia's perspective. In her head, they just aren't equal (at least in this respect). It's an amusing hobby to manipulate her to the "right" answer, but not very interesting to her like it is to Sonia.

Which leads to the second way Junko and Sonia would bond: through despair.

Sonia, because she's a princess, has to always be composed. She says herself that she can't show her pain and despair- that if she despairs, her country would fall into it too. Junko would look at that and go, screw that. Junko loves despair. The fact that her country denied Sonia the right to Junko's favorite feeling, to Junko's everything... if anything could piss her off on another's behalf, I think it's that.

Sonia should be allowed to despair. If that makes her country fall into despair, well, then, fuck them. That's good. That's better, in Junko's mind. And Junko would say this. And yes, it would be to manipulate Sonia into turning on her country, but... I think she'd also mean it. That Sonia should be allowed to despair, no matter what.

And Sonia would recognize that. That Junko is angry on her behalf. She'd think it was sweet, because in a way, it kind of is. She would love Junko Enoshima not inspite of her desire for her to despair, but because of it. Because she'll recognize that's its coming from a kind place.

(As kind as Junko is capable of.)

That, I think, would make her relationship with Junko very unique. In the sense that it's... the most mutual? They have an understanding. Sonia is definitely biased in favor of Junko, but she also recognizes things about Junko I don't think a lot of people clock. The fact that despair is a manifestation of Junko's love.

And I think Junko would appreciate that, in a way.

(It wouldn't be healthy. Because she'd still he using her. And her love for despair is not a healthy thing, which Sonia would enable. But it would be a lot more even footing than she has with most people. I could see Sonia becoming special to her.)

The thing that would complicate this is Sonia and Junko's relationship to dehumanization.

Sonia hates being dehumanized. She hates being a princess. She hates being a symbol, an idea. Junko would recognize that. Would either encourage her to chase the despair of that dehumanization or take revenge on the people who did it - either way, it would be the same result: with Sonia as queen, destroying her country that was once so important to her. Becoming the queen either to solidify her as a concept or rally against it- yes, I am a queen, and you're beneath me, or if you want a queen, I'll give you the worst queen in history. I'll burn your ideals that you project onto me, of the perfect princess, and then burn your sorry straight from your mouth. You could even have it be a tangled, confused mix of both. There's a lot you can do with it.

Sonia hates being an ideal. An idea. A concept. But you know who doesn't?

Junko.

She loves being the concept of despair to people. She loves being dehumanized. She loves embodying despair. She sells ideas to others; concepts of her that aren't the truth. And I think she wants someone to see the truth, to see her for her and accept her, but the fact that no one does is it's own despair, one she loops back around to loving. She loves not being real, to anyone, even though she is real, she's flesh and blood and human but she's made herself more. The only person, imo, who clearly sees Junko Enoshima, all her layers, all her complicated thoughts, is Izuru Kamukura. But he doesn't accept her. Not really. She wishes he would, but he doesn't, and she loves him for that. But everyone else? They don't understand her, not fully. Not Mukuro- Mukuro herself admits this in DR: IF- not Mikan- and definitely not Yasuke Matsuda. Just look at how he took his death as a rejection. Just look at how he saw himself as a pawn, and not the most beloved piece on the board. No one understands Junko and accepts her in her entirety.

Including Sonia.

Oh, she gets close, sure. She understands certain aspects of Junko very, very well. But. Close is not good enough. Not for this. Not for Junko. Who packages herself into products for the Remnants to buy- to eat- sweet afternoons in libraries that Sonia ate up.

Sonia would relate to how Junko is dehumanized. She would draw parallels to herself. She would, maybe, even be incensed it was happening to her. But...

She would also participate in that dehumanization. Idolization. Starstruck with awe at how clever, how kind, how incredible she is.

And she is self aware enough to know it.

That, I think, would be despair to Sonia Nevermind.

So, um. Yeah. I really like this ship. I think they're neat. One of the more healthy Remnant ships, maybe, but not one I'd personally say is healthy. I think the word for it is "complicated." But I love complicated dynamics like that, so the ship definitely appeals.

[citystoryscapes]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

yayyyy thank you for the tag deepa, who is the best! @fiercynn <3 I've been meaning to participate in this for agessssss

since there are both recent newcomers to bbs fandom and people like me who are new to bbs tumblr, i thought i'd create a getting-to-know-you meme for people to introduce themselves if they want! all questions are optional

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

hey, I'm rain! that's not my actual name but it's all the internet is getting. my pronouns are she/they. I'm in my 20s and a grad student, and fandom has been a (selectively) great place for me in terms of finding supportive, brilliant friends. I like to write a fair bit; occasionally, I post it too. I also like cats, big cities, good tea, and old houses.

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

I'd heard about bad buddy because it was airing around the same time as another show I was watching, but I wasn't toooo interested until episode 5, part 4/i4. when I tell you that kiss UNLOCKED SOMETHING IN ME... I caught up on the first 5 episodes pretty much immediately after that while quarantining alone over Christmas, and it pretty much kept me sane. I watched the rest of the show as it aired- please spare a moment of silence for the people who had to wait out the two-week gap between episodes over New Year's.

bad buddy has always made me SO genuinely happy and hopeful, reminding me that there is hope for queer Asian people even if our families aren't always supportive.

favorite ship(s)

patpran, inkpa, and some comic relief waikorn

favorite character(s)

in terms of fanworks, it's a very close call between pran and pat, but I think pran is my favorite by a hair! I love his character arc throughout the show! I especially love his confidence and the way he grew into himself. pran might win in terms of being inspirational, but I have to say, I LOVE well-written pat meta.

in terms of who I'd like to channel in real life, it's obviously ink. she is the absolute coolest, a proud simp, and a protective girlfriend.

(I'm great at avoiding making choices)

favorite episode(s)

episode 5, because what could ever compare? I also love parts of episode 3 and 11 (I'm saying this as if I don't love the entire show).

favorite scene(s)

ep 5 rooftop kiss!!!! ep 3 bus stop and mini elevator scene; ep 4 pran's injury and the three wontons dinner; ep 6 beach scene where they're paired up in the game; and their trip to the market, ep 7 confession scene; ep 9's 'anyone taller than me is fine'!!!!! ep 11 bus scene, beach scene, and song montage; ep 12's entire bait and switch reveal, and pat pran's dinner out with friends.

see what I meant about avoiding making choices?

one thing you would change about the show if you could

seconding deepa, WHY DID INKPA NOT KISS??? also this isn't a change I would definitively make to the existing show, but I'd love a b-side where we see patpran's relationship in the years between their graduations and pran's return from Singapore.

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

I can't believe this is a question I am legitimately choosing to answer:

Fic:

make my body say ah, ah, ah by Sabulum

heart in a cage by sunshinedobi

paradox by Everybodyknows

dynamic by riddles2

a nose boop and the rest is history by seekingmoonscapes

don't forget me when I let the water take me by gilly_bean

your love is your life by threewontons

Videos:

same page by dkyth73

just friends by fiercynn and scribe

dancer by coldties

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

technically I've only published one bad buddy fanwork (it's a fic called these violent delights). my favorite thing I've created for the show is an unpublished canon-divergence fic where patpran have sex and possibly get together during their ep 6 beach trip

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)

I'm sticking to the classics; same page and just being friendly by tilly birds are my top choices. I also made playlists for pat and pran, for said unpublished fic, so here's some of the songs I picked for both:

for pat: the loneliest time by carly rae jepsen, double take by dhruv, better by khalid, the enemy by andrew belle

for pran: washing machine heart by mitski, 18 by 1D, and dancer by leon

idk anything else you want us to know?

I love all of you smart meta writers, I'm kissing your big beautiful brains

okay i'm literally going to tag all of my tumblr mutuals that i think are still in the fandom (if i missed anyone sorry!!), but also if you want to do the meme consider yourself tagged! please don’t let this flop lol 🤞🏽

[manogirl]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

Thank you for this lovely meme, @fiercynn. I will happily participate.

"since there are both recent newcomers to bbs fandom and people like me who are new to bbs tumblr, i thought i'd create a getting-to-know-you meme for people to introduce themselves if they want! all questions are optional

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!"

name and whatever you want to share about yourself Y'all can find my real name with little to no digging but I'm Mano and I'm a queer neurodivergent middle-aged cislady who lives in the US with my pupper (who you can see on my blog) Lillie Bear/Lovebug/Buggy (depending on my mood) and my husband because yep queer gals sometimes marry people who don't share their sex/gender. I'm a former public librarian. I'm a radical fat lady (rad fat acceptance/rad fat pol), an enthusiastic happy auntie, and just generally living my most joyful life.

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom? I wish I knew when I first watched. It was definitely after April 22, 2022 (when I watched Heartstopper for the first time). So probably early May 2022, because I think I activated iQiyi for KP on May 27, and I had watched BBS by then. In terms of the fandom, well...Deepa was my first fandom interaction, and I think she followed me on Twitter because of a fic I wrote. I'm private on Twitter though, so my presence in the fandom is (still) very small.

favorite ship(s) Oh PatPran all the way every day. I am a...sucker for a good canon ship. I almost exclusively read/interact with canon ships. Can't explain it, it's just what my brain wants.

favorite character(s) Pat. Hands down, every day of the week and twice on Sunday and with no hesitation. But I also admit to a very deep fascination with Dissaya. And I like Uncle Tong.

favorite episode(s) episode 5 because kiss scene on roof so good. But I also love episode 11, even though I find it deeply sad.

favorite scene(s) I mean, rooftop kiss. But my second favorite scene, and a scene I screenshot constantly just for shits and giggles, is the scene in episode 11, after their night together, when Pat comes out of the bedroom and onto the balcony, and Pran senses him and looks up at Pat with a fucking WIDE-ASS clear as a bell smile of joy. Because Pat knows at that moment, and Pran has already known, that the honeymoon has to end. But Pat also knows that smiling boy is his. And it's all in Pat's face when he looks down at Pran.

one thing you would change about the show if you could great question. And so many of my first thoughts about this I've just summarily rejected in the last 45 seconds of thinking. I don't know, man. I am stumped.

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people? This is not in any way a reflection on the quality of the fanfic out there, but I am a one-and-done kinda gal with fanfic. I love you all, and I love all your fics, believe you me. That I don't have titles here isn't a reflection on you. It's me! I do have some fave edits though; there is something about watching these vids, set to this music that just...MY HEART.

There are two other vids that I watch on the regular, by Twitter user @yoonglesismydad. One is set to Jab Se Tujhe Hai Jaana and the other is Tum Hi Ho. I have watched (and cried) to the Tum Hi Ho one five million times.

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made? I already mentioned my Dissaya fascination, and this is my piece about Dissaya and Pran after Singapore.

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol) I have two. 'Fall' by Ben&Ben just..............

Fuck I love this song so much.

I mostly think of this as a song for Pran. I know it's from another piece of romance media but who cares this is Pran's song for Pat. Prove me wrong.

idk anything else you want us to know? Bad Buddy changed my life. You should read "This is Not a Book about Benedict Cumberbatch" to begin to understand how and why. But no seriously, I think of my life as BEFORE BBS and AFTER BBS and yep, I'm happier than I've ever been.

In terms of tagging, I don't know that I can tag anyone that @fiercynn hasn't tagged. Play along if you want! I would love to see y'all's BBS thoughts!

[dxppercxdxver]

tagged by @chiropteracupola a rather long while ago for this ao3 tag game (we are ignoring my play analysis teacher right now so might as well look at my fic writin' stats!)

ao3 name: mxpauling (tho this changes rather frequently!)

fandoms: in terms of fandoms Published On AO3, the greatest number are for detroit: become human and subsequent fan film detroit: evolution, due to my feverish participation in the deartfest fan event summer of 2020 (in which i wrote well over a novel's worth of words in. approximately a month.), but others represented include: team fortress 2 (specifically of the flintlock fortress variety), mystery science theater 3000, spies are forever, hadestown, the true lives of the fabulous killjoys, and some smaller one off fandoms (deathtrap, the moors, goncharov, the wolf and the watchman, and where or when)

number of works: 28! which is. a Lot higher than i remembered it being

work I spent the most time on: fairly certain it's 'leave your body at the door' as it was written over the course of about four months, which for me (guy with formerly wildly unmedicated adhd) was Insane

works I spent the least time on: oof uhhhh i mean i've written Several in the course of just a few hours, like 'cut something, kill something, eat something', 'i can't stand to see you bleed', 'don't give it a hand, offer it a soul', and 'old churchyard', amongst MANY OTHERS THAT ARE OLDER (and i didn't feel like copying)

longest fic: first place goes again to 'leave your body at the door' but coming as a close runner-up is 'Potentially Lovely, Perpetually Human', from way back in the de days

shortest fic: '(i feel) an overwhelming need', my recent the moors character study

most hits: this would be 'Out Of The Blue', due to its featuring in the octopunk monthly roundup at the end of deartfest. turns out, a built in Massive Stream Audience will bring people to your fic

most kudos: once again, 'Out Of The Blue', for much the same reasons

total word count: 144,556???????? (sorry this is NEWS TO ME)

favorite work of my own: a lot of them have already been featured in this list, so i will take this space to spotlight both 'Try Again, Die Again' (i am so proud of the premise) and 'Where the Sun Can't Find Me' (i really liked the prose in this one and am genuinely super pleased rereading it)

fic you want to rewrite / expand on: oof there are Several: i had a halfway plotted third installment of the killjoys: dead zone series about the girl and show pony settling into a new life in batt city that i'd really want to revisit someday; i'd love to restructure and rewrite 'Potentially Lovely, Perpetually Human' to make the pacing a bit more consistent; i have an incomplete fourth fic in the spytown logs series i want to come back to; and for the sake of space and time i want to redo the end of 'Out Of The Blue' because my God it's rushed

share a bit of a wip or story idea you are planning on: changing tacks Entirely. behold my bill & ted fanfiction you cowards

Everything is perfectly, totally sublime, another freakin’ awesome day in San Dimas. And Ted has a seriously heinous problem. “Dude,” he says before his brain really tells him to, turning to Bill, “this day is freakin’ awesome.” Bill nods, smiling most radiantly, pushing his sunglasses up his nose. “Totally awesome.” It is. Today is totally, absolutely, one hundred percent awesome, but… Ted doesn’t feel awesome at all.

this is a fic about ted getting wild depression post excellent adventure and not knowing how to deal with it because uhhhh he does not know what depression Is (and also they kiss a little)

tagging: @natdrinkstea, @nico-demons, @wilhelmina-murray-harker, and @fix-fax-fuckyou :3

[strideofpride]

Not a passage exactly but I would love to hear your thoughts on your role swap au and how you flipped the blair-chip-louis triangle to dan-georgina-olivia. Really I’m just interested in your thoughts on olivia paralleling louis bc I think it’s galaxy brained of you 💛

Okay so backtracking a bit, obviously Brooklyn!Blair/UES!Dan is a significant AU trope within the dair fandom. I wanted to do my own spin on it, and especially have a little bit of pining!Blair/denial!Dan in there as well, like this image series, because you never really see that swap get explored. Originally I wanted to like...do a swap of the entire show lol but that ended up being way too ambitious (unfortunately capitalism exists and I can't devote all my time to writing fic), so I settled for doing swaps of individual episodes.

And then when I was trying to make it make sense for season 1 eps, I had this thought...what if I swapped Nate and Serena too? Dan/Serena's dynamic would become Nate/Blair's and vice versa. Same goes for Dan/Nate and Serena/Blair (although I didn't really get to explore the latter unfortunately). And then I had the thought that I thought was TRULY galaxy brained which is: what if I swapped Georgina and Chuck? Which, god, was SO much fun to write. And I felt that all kind of worked. Because much like Dan & Blair, Serena & Nate and Georgina & Chuck all share similar traits so it doesn't change things too much.

I was honestly going to try to avoid the ~royal arc~ of it all, because like...I hate it very much lol. Blair and Louis' engagement is when the show jumped the shark imho. But I also didn't want to do a season 5 episode where they were already together because again...I really really wanted pining!Blair and denial!Dan lol, so I ultimately had to include at least a little bit of it.

As for the Louis and Olivia of it all, I had actually already talked about their parallels a while back on here. But to recap: Louis and Olivia brought Blair & Dan into whole new worlds (royalty/Hollywood), both purposely did not reveal their true identities at first as well, and these relationships were just distractions while they avoided dealing with their feelings for other people.

So when I was writing that chapter and needed a Louis for Dan, it was a no brainer that it was going to be Olivia for me cause I had already done the whole relationship parallel analysis. And honestly that parallel had probably just occurred to me in the first place because I had gone through and looked at their dynamics with all their other love interests.

But yeah, I think it worked well! Obviously, there would be no pregnancy or a "who's the father" mystery. But I had some fun with this little monologue:

“Are you kidding me? Look at everything we’ve been through together. You kept it a secret when everything with Georgina went down. You shielded me from the world when the paparazzi wouldn’t stop trying to get dirt on my relationship with Olivia and you brought me to a therapist during my darkest hour. You wrote Olivia’s big romantic acceptance speech for her, and then you saved me from the most awkward Oscars party imaginable. Do I need to go on?”

And kinda implied that Dan still cheated with Georgina and that blew up in his face somehow and that instead of having a wedding, Dan got to go to the Oscars instead lol (good for him!). And I mean, in some sense, it's kind of just a more dramatic version of the Dan-Olivia-Georgina triangle that already existed in the show. (Does this mean that in the season 3 world of my swap, Blair had a casual fling with Chuck before dumping him for Louis?? Does this mean that Chuck bribed the NYU housing office to be Dan's roommate?? Idk but those ideas do make me laugh lol)

EDIT: Wait also does this mean that Blair, Louis, and Vanessa (the one character I didn't swap btw - although I guess I kinda soft-swapped her with Eric in terms of his role in a certain scene) had a threesome that caused Blair to realize that she actually had feelings for Vanessa?? Obsessed

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it! Honestly, your championing of this fic is the reason I even finished it in the first place so thank you!!

fic dvd commentary

[delusion-of-negation]

"There are so many pieces out there where the characters are so ooc it's obvious the author just massively projected. Then wtf is the point?? What did you actually take away from this?"

they were just having fun, I don't care. that's a rare enough thing that you can just scroll past and ignore it for works that align more with an interpretation you gel with. they may have had differing interpretations to you, or they maybe just didn't think through some things, like you yourself said: a lot of them are young and very inexperienced and just having fun, of that little percentage that are writing fics like that, it will be inevitable that some don't see some deeper stuff or can't convey it well in their own writing on it. but again, that's rare, you can scroll past.

"People began treating fanon as canon. Or treating it with the same 'respect'. It transforms the og piece so much it's sometimes unrecognisable. Then you clearly didn't give a shit about what the author wanted to say."

block them. curate your own experience. they are interacting with the medium in a way you don't like, seeing things you don't see, and it's totally possible that they're wrong re what the media and the author was actually trying to be conveying. however, it's just randos online, it's not the end of the world, and it's not majorities of fandom spaces if you stop just looking at an environment curated specifically to that - if it's common in one particular fandom then it's not really a good idea to limit your experience to a list of top posts in that fandom's tag, you can't expect the world to revolve around how you're interpreting it, you have to take action to look for blogs and creators who do what you would like to see. there's also the fact that maybe it's you who's got a differing interpretation to how the media is coming across to most people if tags are showing more of that interpretation.

"Obviously not everybody in a fandom is like this, and it also depends on the country, but you can't deny this doesn't happen and it happens enough to not only be visible but to drive people away from fandoms en-mass. If it isn't a "problem", it's definetely annoying as fuck."

as I said, it's driving people away because they aren't curating their own experience, not that everyone else is wrong. if that's how people in these spaces are enjoying that content, then I think you can't really expect all of them to go "oh, some people don't like this? guess I'll just stop spending my free time how I want and do exactly what they want me to", like that's what antis do, they refuse to curate their searches, they refuse to block their triggers, then they're bitching that ao3 won't just delete everything they don't like. there's a lot of antis, does that mean that everyone who writes problematic fiction is wrong? I mean, they're condemning fandom en-masse too. appeal to popularity is considered a fallacy for a reason. you're not an entirely different breed just because you see it as a sophisticated complaint as opposed to an immature and puritanical one made by antis.

"Ofc you can choose the creators you follow. But if you're browsing the tags to find more media, it's unavoidable."

oh no, I'm sure scrolling past a few posts you don't like because you went into a main tag in which literally everything will be, instead of a search specifically for "squid game analysis", and/or blocking all terms for popular ships so tumblr will hide those posts, is exhausting for you, if only everyone else in the world did just what you want them to all of the time so you'd have to put no effort into avoiding things you could easily avoid because most people tag, life will become so much better for everyone.

also everyone treating squid game like the latest fandom of the week and making aus and trendy videos and shipping and all that is absolutely missing the point. beyond salvation

[peachpitmp3]

so true on all accounts!!

i- yeah,, there really isn't a way to make all of the post s1e9 fics canon :/ but that's okay!! (unless they do something really bad and in that case we'll all reject canon and destroy netflix for ruining our comfort show :D)

carrie is an interesting character, because i love her a lot. but that's not the same exact carrie as in canon, and yeah, they definitely need to address the things she did. my favorite kind of flarrie fics are the ones where she apologizes and they actually work towards repairing their relationship, otherwise it feels a little fake or not super realistic.

and yeah!!!! new music and soundtrack would be awesome!! and yep, i know what you mean with expectations. obviously they have some limits in terms of travel and time, but still !! would be very cool to hear more studio recordings, or really any original music

wishes for season 2: flarrie flarrie flarrie- and more attention to julie!! i love the boys, but it's kinda sad that white boys seem to be the face of the fandom a bit :// defeating caleb! ray adopting the himbos! willex content! there's. a lot shgslkdjf

biggest fears: the show getting cancelled, and it's hard to say specifically,, but i guess anything that would really derail what we all consider to be canon? flynn getting a love interest that isn't carrie, somehow confirming that she/they flynn and he/they willie aren't canon, tHE BOYS CROSSING OVER WAIT-

what are your biggest fears for season 2? oo and what's a somewhat specific headcanon that you really really want to be included in s2? - 🌵

okay first of all anon can i just say i absolutely adore you because you are so thoughtful about all your answers (this isn't just cause i agree with everything you said)

i completely agree with what you said about carrie. whenever i rewatch, i'm a little bit thrown off because of how mean she is. like, in jatp tumblr as thoughtful and as good at analysis as everyone is, i feel like people tend to just make carrie seem super sympathetic and relatable. and i get it!! she's easy to project on!! but you can't erase that she was legitimately awful and a bully to flynn and julie, and i just hope that gets actually addressed in season 2. i agree with what you said about flarrie fics!! fics that actually address and take time to repair the cracks in that relationship are so thoughtful and amazing to read, even if they do sometimes take a little bit more energy to get through.

flarrie in season 2 would be absolutely amazing, but right now i'm trying to come to terms with the fact that it's probably not gonna happen. and that's fine, we arleady have so many amazing ships, but after spending so much time talking about it, it's gonna be weird to see it not happening. and on that note, it is gonna be SO weird if flynn gets a datemate who isn't carrie, or honestly even just a boyfriend since i see her as a lesbian.

what you said about more attention to julie– yes. i couldn't agree more. the boys are adorable himbos and i love them, but it's julie and the phantoms, and she is such an amazing character that she deserves to be the center of the story and the center of attention. i adore her <3

i'm a bit worried for how long they'll extend the whole caleb possessing nick storyline- i don't want julie to get hurt or be sad, even though i know it's probably a bit inevitable lol. and yes yes yes, ray adopting the himbos!! i would adore that!! also, more carlos and the boys content would be so funny. and last but not least, if we don't get a willex kiss in season 2 i'm suing <3 also a willex duet mayhaps

oh my gosh if the boys crossed over... ugh. i don't know. i think it depends on how they get there, but also it would just be really soon, especially if season 2 is as short as season 1. julie deserves more time with her boys!!!

a somewhat specific headcanon i guess would be bi julie and bi reggie. both of them are SO bi-coded that i just need it to be confirmed, yknow?

what's a headcanon you have in mind? and also, where would you want caleb's character to go in season 2? would you want him to get a redemption arc or just be defeated? there are so many possibilities...