#I can't picture life without it
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How do they expect people to transition from having school to not having school? Seriously! How!? School I'd stressful sure, but it's provided a comforting routine and regimin for all these years. I legitimately cannot picture a world where I'm not in school. Especially high school (which I'm in currently).
#school#elementary school#high school#middle school#college#university#It really can be stressful sometimes#but it's familiar#and comforting#I can't picture life without it#asd#autism#neurodivergent#autistic#adhd#audhd#I also can't read if I'm not in school#true fact#I can only focus on books at school!#so I also need school if I want to read
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it's always so funny to me when i get a new follower and they have shit like "proship DNI!!11!1!1" in their bio or pinned post. like brother my blog is not a safe space for you (neither is the entirety of the real world, but I don't think you people are ready for that conversation. on account of being probably 12 years old. cus that's what you're acting like.)
"censorship is bad" should not be a radical take in the year 2024. stop trying to sanitise the internet into some uber-puritan, ultra-virtuous, squeaky clean space. like what are you, catholic? i beg of you- grow up.
#shut up rowan#proship#proship safe#anti anti#anti censorship#i know I'm gonna lose followers for this#and I'm probably going to receive (at the very least) some threats from children online that don't know better#but i am so tired of this bullshit#if you can't be mature enough to navigate the Internet without getting fucked up over a picture of two fictional siblings fucking or smthn#then this space is not for you#the internet at large is not for you#real life real world spaces are not for you#if you want to avoid that shit go live in a hole underground#that's the only way you'll ever be able to fully get away#just take responsibility for your own online experience#block tags block people block websites and keywords and search terms if you have to#but expecting everyone else in the world to conform to your warped views on morality is childish and short sighted#ok im done ranting now srry
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Have you ever been reading Devil’s Minion and thinking to yourself, “damn, I just can’t nail down a face for Daniel”? Have you watched Interview with the Vampire and felt like neither Christian Slater nor River Phoenix hit the mark for you?
Allow me to introduce you to James fucking Spader.
Look at him! Is that not the face of Daniel, completely fed up with Armand feeding his cigarettes down the garbage disposal?
He’s got the naive and beautiful face but ALSO the defiant yet beseeching thing down! Also he was like 22 here, which is right around the age Daniel met Armand so he’s at peak Healthy, Pretty Molloy here. No wonder Louis decided to take him home!!
“Do you know what a zip code is, or a tax bracket? I’m the one who buys all the goddamned airline tickets. Millions. How are we going to get millions! Steal another Maserati and be done with it, for God’s sakes!”
Spader is the original 80′s pretty boy you’d assume starred as the leading man in some schmoopy romances or schlocky teen dramas and he did that for a minute. Like check him out in Pretty in Pink-
Is this not peak Night Island Daniel, in his Miami Vice looking bespoke suit ready to head out with Armand for the night?
Look at him snuggled into his blanket in Tuff Turf, like Daniel hungover and forcibly woken up to honky tonk piano tunes!
But the deliciousness doesn’t end at his looks. Because in true Molloy fashion that man said ‘you know what? I wanna make movies for freaks and weirdos only’
In Sex, Lies and Videotape he plays the sweetest pervert who loves interviewing women about their sex lives, video taping it, and then watching them back naked but not actually getting off! He’s impotent, he’s a gentle and lovely weirdo, there’s vampire!Daniel fodder for days in this one.
Crash is a horny flick that defies all explanation and really you need to go in blind if you’re gonna watch this one, but let me just say this: If Spader and his Wife in this film aren’t the most Daniel and Armand coded couple in cinema history I will eat my shoes. Also there’s tons of beautiful footage of him driving around at night with his blond hair ruffling in the breeze.
Your prefer your Daniel with glasses? Oh, perfect, because in Bad Influence he plays a sweet guy who gets into a fucked up situation with a toxic friend and a sex tape!
In Storyville he lets himself be thrown on the floor and lays there submissively before getting involved in yet another sex tape scandal!
Don’t even get me started on Dream Lover, another smut filled romp (with some filthy deleted scenes if you google the uncut version) which has the most Devil’s Minion promo photos of all time-
Like! Get the fuck out!
I could just go all day about his body of work but some of it you’ve just gotta see for yourself. In pretty much every film you’re guaranteed smut with him being deliciously submissive, extremely gentle with his hands, and down for all kinds of kink. And in most of his movies he gets bloody at least once, like-
this is a shitty picture i took of my laptop but look at the blood at the corner of his mouth! Vampire activities!
In summary, let me hit you with a photo dump:
Daniel laying in a cheap motel room during the chase years!
Daniel with delightful 70s hair!
More glasses!Daniel!
Daniel with a half-buttoned 80′s shirt looking so beautiful it’s no wonder Armand couldn’t NOT turn him!
It’s dark, he’s wet, he looks exhausted!
He’s the ideal beautiful Molloy Weirdo and I will not be accepting any other arguments, goodbye!!
#it's Molloy Monday folks#strap in and get ready for this one#because this one is gonna change ur LIFE#i've been watching his films for like two months now#and they all have DM fodder in one way or another#i just can't believe he moves and touches and kisses exactly how i pictured daniel before i watched any of his stuff#also watching crash is a fucking religious experience#i highly recommend doing so without reading any spoilers#but yeah if you're reading my fic this is the man i am picturing as daniel as i write#ur welcome ♥#vc headcanons#armand/daniel#daniel molloy#Spader Molloy Masterpost
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Kinktober speedrun time! Used the Mirror prompt on this list. Thank you for the inspo! Further details below the cut so that the above the cut stays safe for anyone who is just scrolling through!
18+ Content MDNI || Dom!Reader x Leander
PROMPT/KINK(S): Dom!Reader, Mirror Use. Edging/Orgasm Denial + Light Degradation & Name calling (Leander being referred to as a dog but he’s really into it, promise) + Power Exchange & Sub/Dom Dynamics
OTHER INFO: Leander has a dick, anatomy of Reader/POV Character remains unspecified; "they" pronouns used.
Leander has the straight backed posture of a man who was given etiquette lessons. His mannerisms speak of wealth and class, yet they can’t help but observe that he looks completely comfortable while down on his knees.
His back muscles flex as he works himself, sweat slipping down his spine, pooling in the dimples just above his ass. He’s strung tight, the veins in his arms straining as he strokes a quick, even rhythm. His dick is flushed a painful red, copious amounts of pre-cum dripping down his wrist and splattering onto his thick thighs, some of it even dirtying the floor below when his strokes become too enthusiastic.
(They wonder how best to make him clean it later–he does so love to be ordered to lick up his own mess–but this floor is probably just as filthy as anywhere else in the Wick, despite appearances–and they don’t think they can find it in themself to make use of his mouth again after watching that.)
The full length mirror hanging in front of Leander is a new addition to the room. Something they’d wheedled out of him with nothing but an easy promise, whispered into his ear down at the bar. It was theirs not a full day later: a polished brass antique with a priceless clear finish.
His back is to them, but they can see everything they need to by gazing at his reflection.
His strokes stutter, faltering, and they watch as his abdominals jump rapidly. His hand makes a few more shaky attempts before he stops himself with a shudder, breathing hard and squeezing his cock at the base to cut off his own orgasm. They give a little hum of approval, waiting.
“Count.” They prompt, when he fails to remember on his own.
They watch his throat bob with effort as he swallows, his jaw trembling around his answer. “Five.”
“Good boy,” they say, their voice flat and unrewarding. Dismissive. "Guess that Hightown education really paid off for you, huh?" He whines at that, his palms slicking along his thighs, awaiting their instruction. He glances at them in the mirror, eyes hopeful. “Again,” they prompt, “and keep your eyes on yourself until I tell you. During, too. You were closing them a lot. It's just you and the mirror until you've earned otherwise.”
Bites his lip, beginning to stroke himself again.
The next edge comes more quickly.
His eyebrows draw up, mouth falling open, back arching. His cock jumps and this time he falls back onto his hands to keep from giving into temptation. His eyes travel the length of the mirror, his neck taught with tension as he pants. They notice his gaze darting along their form for a moment, greedily stealing along their silhouette in the looking glass. A quick glance of the place where their legs are splayed open as they lounge on the bed behind him, toying with themself idly.
He’s back to form so seamlessly, he probably thinks they didn’t even notice. The next number falls out of his mouth without prompting, as if to cover for his earlier sleight.
"..."
“Baby,” he whines, fidgeting without further instruction. His fingers return to his dick when they don't reply, ghosting over his wet, swollen cockhead. He knows they hate the way that epithet sounds in his voice, the condescending lilt he manages to wrap around the syllables. “Sweetheart. Please, may I–”
“Bad dog,” they admonish. They don't elaborate–let him figure out for himself which breach of protocol they're scolding him for.
“Again. And if you can’t behave, I’ll have to put you outside.”
18+ Master List | SFW Master List ✦Kinktober Speedrun on Ao3
Consider: this type of power play with yandere!Leander...you watching him when he's usually the one watching you...
#kinktober 2024#citrus fiending tag#tckinktober#18+ MDNI#see above tags for the tags you'll wanna blacklist if u don't wanna see me trying to speedrun this week lol#not pictured: POV character telling Leander that his ego is big enough that he should be able to get off without sneaking a peek at them :)#similarly not pictured: “we can use the blindfold if you *really* can't behave on your own.”#once I'm done speed running I'll maybe post a Kinktober 2024 Masterlist to the main tag but I'll prolly post in chara tags only for a bit..#leander x reader#leander touchstarved#touchstarved fanfic#something real nasty for those who partake <3#feels too awkward to tag someone in this out of the blue but SHOUT OUT IF U SEE THIS ty for the list!#Consider: this type of power game with yandere!Leander#you watching him when he's usually the one watching you#save me yandere leander#take me away from this life; i no longer desire to participate in capitalism#/joking i was joking omg did u hear that did it just get cold all of the sudde..........#touchstarved x reader#Touchstarved leander
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if cliché bad, why grey restraining tim from following lucy into the o.r. after spotting her being pushed in on a gurney so, so good????
#*carly catalogs#..... i'll shut up now#(actually no i won't) cause imagine tim finally caving into his emotions and breaking down in tears in gry's arms#ooohhohohoho i know it's extra cheesy but what is life without cheese anyway??????#i'm just picturing grey holding him back like 'hey hey hey bradford! stop! you can't be with her right now!'#omg and it would parallel so well with the time boden held kelly back from seeing shay after she got that first head injury#ya know from that one time her and gabby got crashed into while in the back of the ambulance#okay okay i swear i'll shut up about putting lucy in the hospital again#....... until i think of the next thing in a few minutes/hours/weeks/months whenever really#the rookie#sergeant grey#wade grey#tim bradford#lucy chen#chenford#otp: you know me so well
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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anyone else feeling kinda, i dunno, guilty? just for being alive. With everything going on in the world
#had a conversation with someone today and i said how i'm thinking of maybe going back to uni or applying to a tattoo studio for work#but it just kinda feels like i'm lying at this point#I'm not thinking about any of that stuff. I just know I will have to do something with my life soon#but i don't believe in it#and trying to picture a happy future for myself feels selfish. How selfish I am#like why am i worrying about my dentist appointment or why my friend isn't texting me back when people are dying#i should stop crying and just go to bed at this point#also i can't find my journal. this is stuff i should write in my journal. not tumblr#sorry for being depressing#just trying to make it through winter without another major breakdown tbh#emil.pdf
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a new au (stp voices as the protags of scarlet hollow, simultaneously) has hit the pareidolla
long long long rambling under cut:
plot bunnies
i'm thinking this au would happen after the strange beginnings ending instead of a standard modern au. the construct collapses after tlq departs with stranger, and the voices are forcibly expelled to the nearest world.
all eleven of them wake up weird clothes. the only other person with them, some weird guy, says they're on a "bus" headed for "scarlet hollow." weird stranger notes they've must have traveled far judging by their british accents (what the hell is a british???)
tabitha's eyes bulge as her cousin (hero) steps out of the bus followed by ten other people like it's a clown car. cue hero's panic as he plays along, apologizing profusely to this scary woman who's apparently his relative (???) and learns he's here for her mother's funeral (!?!!!?) fortunately, oppy cuts in and calms things down
i think the voices would be mainly separated, as opposed to all eleven of them being there for every scene and it playing out beat-for-beat like it does in the game.
for instance, only a few of the voices, particularly hero, would be driven to the estate by tabitha while the others would be forced to walk. some might hit the library, the general store, or the diner first and meet different characters then. broken definitely perks up at the mention of a church
i think hero should get to look at a bird. as a treat
trait justification
mm i've been puzzling over traits for awhile. some voices are a natural fit for a trait while others less so, and picking two for all eleven is going to require some serious stretching. i know some of the npcs in scarlet hollow have one trait but it feels... mean? lazy? to skimp out on giving everyone two traits
i think it makes sense for hero, broken, and cheated specifically to be playing hard mode. the latter because suffering defines them and the former because, try as he might, hero simply won't be able to save everyone
hero makes sense to be power build i think, i think? it's not only strength but protection, and who is he if not the the long quiet's guard? a bit stumped on a third trait however...
if i could then i would give everyone the hot trait (♡) but being hot is more about how readily people trust/like you than it is about appearances. hero's kindness would disarm most people, meanwhile smitten and opportunist make a great effort to charm others
opportunist was also made for street smarts. i just know this little weasel would lie his ass off to tabitha, sucking up to her and complimenting the scarlet estate every chance he got, before immediately gunning for the forbidden wings the moment she was out of sight. worst man alive /aff
i feel pretty comfortable in the talk to animals + keen eye for combo for hunted. perceptive voice... animal princess... p simple!
(god i want him to meet gretchen so badly. little beast, how do you expect to run with legs so small and a body this fat? ... cute?)
not quite sure what to do for smitten's second trait however. he's arguably one of the strongest voices so powerful build makes sense, but i'm also tempted to give the hot/pb combo to stubborn and i don't want any of the voices to double up. alternatively, talk to animals might be a cute nod the princess. except, instead of a bluebird as a companion, it's dustin, the desk possum.
skeptic gets the detective combo, obviously. not much to write home about here - i just think it'd be fun to see him sleuthing in another horror game. i hope he and smitten befriend kaneeka and discover what anime is
broken i'm a little... eh about in terms of traits. i'm learning towards keen eye since he's the most understanding of people's emotional states, but anything else feels like a stretch. powerful build since he can endure suffering? mystical for his connections to tower? bleh...
well, stubborn gets powerful build, obviously x2. i'm a little lost for a second trait because he's kind of straightforwardly The Strong One. not the sharpest, not the most insightful, don't see him as particularly magical enough to justify mystical or talk to animals but, as mentioned earlier, i think there's a case he could be hot. i'm only marginally against it since he's a touch aggressive and that might rub people the wrong way, but people adore jocks, and the developers once called adversary a himbo, and stubborn is basically just her.
paranoid with mystical and keen eye just makes me laugh tbh. suck it up, boy, you're gonna see EVERYTHING
cold might have also mystical, possibly? on one hand, it's the Scare The Hoes trait and cold excels at that, but i'm not sure about it. but the same, i don't think any other trait fits him either like... sure, maybe he's strong but is he ever going to use his strength? yeah, he has a brain but is he ever going to think? yeah he can see but is he ever going to-
banging my head over cheated and contrarian too. i love you both sm but your personalities are complaining about the narrative and avoiding the narrative respectively. how do i possibly convert you two into traits. this is a nightmare
#i can't shut up for the life of me it's a disease#if anyone has any ideas for what trait combos to give the voices then i am all ears 🫴#god the game is way too dense and incomplete for me to write a fic but i waaaaannaaaaa#i know tabitha wouldn't respect broken since he'd just meekly follow her orders without ever asserting himself#but i can just picture him knocking on her door and doing his best to comfort tabs about pearlanne#like this woman might have hurt you... hurt everyone... but it feels dark without her doesn't it?#♡. txt#oof i'll need to name this au won't i#i've sunk a good few hours thinking abt it i need to commit ig
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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Why does school exist if you're always meant to be graduating!? If you wanted me to leave school and enter the workplace, you shouldn't have made school feel like such an integral part of my life! Seriously, who does that!?
Imagine if I told someone that they had to spend half the day somewhere for 10+ years, only to rip this institution away from them once they began to base their whole life around it! That's what happens with school! School is an integral part of my life now! I don't remember a life without it! For all the bad (and the good too), school is a place I'm familiar with! You don't have the right to take that away!!!
#school#high school#elementary school#college#university#seriously#I can't picture life without school#If they wanted me to imagine life without school#Don't make me go to school for my whole childhood!#Because I get attached!!!#asd#autism#my thoughts#neurodivergent#autistic#adhd#vent#rant#audhd#ranting
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listening to her sleep is a privilege I thank god every day for.
#x#i still can't believe i have her in my life in this capacity#I'm pretty confident it will baffle me forever.#i refuse to take any part of her for granted.#every word she says to me + every picture she shares with me + every moment she chooses to spend with me#i think i will always be famished for all of it#like I'm down bad to the point where I'll start tearing up if i start thinking too long about how much i love this person#& she's across the globe... how does someone so far away manage such a tight effortless grip on my heart.#I'm so lucky to be one of her ppl. what a privilege.#i feel blessed to the point where I'm starting to believe it was a good thing i didn't die when i had my first motorcycle accident.#without even knowing it she's actually singlehandedly convincing me i rly wasn't meant to die then.#that it took its time & tested my patience & now here it is#something to live for & look forward to.#anyway. she's turning me into a sap is rly all these words I'm writing amount to#I'm usually all about cool detachment & violent enthusiasm i swear#gun emoji#I'm not fucking joking you better believe me.#princess
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Do you reckon you'll ever be a Mom?
hmm... i like the idea of raising a tiny person to be kind and nurturing, but i still have a looooong way to go before my mental health is anywhere near okay for me to be a mother. not saying people can't be parents and have mental health, but i have a lot to deal with and i'm still dealing with stuff; like my own narcissistic mother who i'm still living with (not for long though, hopefully). there's also the worry of being somewhat toxic to my child, there's a lot for me to unlearn from my mum tbh.
#my mum is so controlling i can't even have friends over without her kicking up a fuss that they don't really talk to her#my friends are over to see *me*#*not* her#🙄#and now i'm ranting about my mum#but basically... my life will be healthier when she's out of the picture#asks
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My parents make better friends than they ever did spouses and like that was painfully obvious to me at age ten to the point I was pleading with god during my christian years by saying "I know divorce is a sin but I'll take the punishment if you let them divorce" but for whatever fucking reason they thought it was better for me to wait until I was eighteen to split and then they marvel at how all my romantic options just end up being friends and how lonely I am romantically
#I'm not aromantic. I desire a romantic partner(s) but like. I can't get over this hump that partnerships are just about being petty#and angry at each other. and being passive aggressive. and screaming over stupid things.#and not being able to be in the same room without making everyone else on edge#I want a family so so so so much but every time I picture myself as a parent I'm doing it solo#because I absolutely cannot risk picturing it in my head raising a kid where I don't love my hypothetical partner and that's all I know#i can't subject that to a kid in my care even in my brain where I control the imagination#i can't even hold it in my mind that there will ever be a future where I can have a romantic partner and not feel uneasy#anyway to be clear this isn't some friendzone bullshit it's usually my fault my romantic interests default to friendships#because i panic then try to play it cool and i just end up coming across as aloof#the one time I was optimistic about my love life I got ghosted after MONTHS of dates and planning for future days. i still don't know why#anyway divorce is great I'm a big advocate for divorcing if it's not working out for you. kid or no kid
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i think something moonage daydream was really good at doing was capturing a vibe
#sir.txt#the thing it was second best at was painting a picture... that movie is a watercolor rendition of a galaxy to me#i feel like the linear progression of bowie's life in the movie never being marked by any specific dates not even years... it gives it that#not cut and dry feeling. none of these events exist solely in one day of one year they are something that will span longer than ourselves#one day- a couple of hours- stretched into infinity simply by the fact that they were not confined within a date#i think that's something worthy of bowie. to be immortalized not through the medium itself but by how the medium refuses to cage him within#any set parameters that would be too extreme and unsatisfying for him would he be there to choose#instead letting him trespass all those barriers and just be and transcend#my boyfriend says the film is like bowies superstar cosmic journal well i say the film is like bowies watercolor rendition of a galaxy in#formation- and all the stars are still forming and the watercolor still hasn't dried as another layer is added so shades melt within-into-#each other#like how bowie refused to keep himself caged within one style one look one identity he surpassed all of those boundaries and transformed#into something else... it is only fair that the film capture it in a similar way... all of the flashy colors and editing is just a#projection of bowies spirit itself in all its vibrancy and extravagance without being supercilious#this movie was touching but also fun for the sake of fun and eccentric for the sake of eccentricity. it's a must watch for whoever loves#bowie at his most raw and unrestrained and undefined... i felt like falling through the screen to bw held by him at several moments#BECAUSE that's what the movie is it's the galaxy wrapping its arms around the unknowing astronaut#and welcoming them into itself because nobody in this reality is actually an outsider of life- nobody passively observes the universe-#that's something that i found very moving in the film was how bowie surpassed that feeling of all-encompassing loneliness that was#what propeled him to create art... and found acceptance and loving and understood he wasn't alien to all of it.#it's very moving again like i said. but specially movingfor someone like me who struggles so hard not to simply idly observe things and let#life reject me. I can't keep letting these things write themselves into existence over and over and maybe just maybe#that film helped me snap back into a higher sense of lucidity where i realise i have to take control of my life#but like. anyway.#bowies life is very mythologised but in part it is very much a self constructed myth which he himself took the time to skillfully architect#and its such that myth ceases to be only in suspension and untangible: bowie being extraterrestrial.#he.... he integrates so much into the planet he does become an energy traversing through earth. he becomes life itself but in the least self#important way this sentiment could be expressed.#there will never be another bowie- as there will never be another dylan or reed or lennon. there will never be circumstances which will come#but to quote the movie. his life hasnt ended. only changed. thats beautiful. anyways my tags are up
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great visual imagination = can fully picture a photorealistic apple in your mind
some visual imagination = can somewhat picture hazy or incomplete details of an apple in your mind
no visual imagination (aphantasia) = cannot picture any aspect of an apple in your mind
as a girly w aphantasia (but i do dream visually) i still can't quite believe that most ppl can willingly visualize things, and often think about how different that would be!
#poll#polls#tumblr poll#tbh i think i mostly appreciate i can't ruminate on distressing images#like i can ruminate plenty without the pictures#and i've heard ppl say it's distressing to not be able to picture ppls faces#and while it makes my memory bad i just fill my life w photos
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He's trying his best, come on.
Uehehehehehe
#please pretend the anatomy is good I have no time to fix it#super duper busy but I'm alive promised#anyway I can't picture val as anything but a super passive pillow princess no matter how much I try#unless you're the love of his life or he's particularly sexually frustrated he's not lifting a finger#I'm calling him out but he strikes me as the type who would consider giving head as degrading lol#I can't believe this is the first time I sketched them in bed together wtf#the arcana#valucio#lucio morgasson#consul valerius#my art#uuuuuuhhhhh I don't know how to tag it without risking being striked#not sfw#????? genius
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