#I can't find 2 more peeps

[the-lemonaut]

Characters co-owned w @_magic.stardust_ on IG 😌✨ (a couple more comics abt this on my account already)

I'm not a very positive person, i have a LOT of doomer tendencies. I feel everything like it's cranked up to the max, and as you can imagine it doesn't feel great. Every day throws more atrocious things in my face, and i can't ignore it 🥲

I see other people feeling the same way. We dissociate and numb ourselves by watching, playing, buying stuff. Hateful movements are gaining traction and climate change has its foot in the door

And it's all happening either way, to some degree. I feel like shit, and i'm sick of that. I might as well have a little bit of hope, otherwise i'll go bonkers 😭 Do we continue doomering our way through life or ignoring things altogether, or do we choose to hope a little?

That's why i'm looking into Solarpunk and am thinking of taking any readers (and myself) on a little journey through a better world, and how it might work, through a series of mini-comics I'm posting here. I don't have all the answers (no one person ever does), and i don't hold any pretenses that this kind of world is going to be our future. But i often hear "You love critiquing the status quo, but what do you propose instead?" I'd like to find out too. Here's to something we can hope for, no matter how slim the chances are! Because as I said, i might just lose my mind otherwise ☠️

P.S for new peeps: this is an AU with me and my friend's OCs, so all characters are genderless and go by they/them. It's not identical to our world in that regard, but other than this fact we try to keep it more or less realistic 🤙

I spent a thousand krillion hours on this and the other Solarpunk comics, consider throwing 2$ at me on Buy Me A Coffee to raise my spirits :] I'm not doing well mentally these days, but people's appreciation helps a lot. Thank you very much!

[maoam]

Naruto most likely sees how the world around him works, and it affects his behaviour, especially since he craves for acceptance.

Notice the difference in his reaction when another guy says he likes him in part 1 vs part 2.

(Sorry for a bit poor quality, it was difficult to find an accurate translation, most were viz translations which didn't convey this convo very well). In part 1 he's just annoyed, because he doesn't like Kankurou as a person. He didn't even think about that "I like you" could have certain other implications. But in part 2 he's straight up creeped out by Kakashi saying the same thing, eventhough the meaning and intention is the same in both.

Naruto's reaction to Kurama mentioning his kiss with Sasuke was also way too over the top. Like really comical. Naruto was putting on a show in front of everyone. But whenever he's with Sasuke, he forgets all about this, he is fine with waxing poetry to Sasuke, or Sasuke being close to him...

My guess is since he went through puberty he also learned things about himself and thus started to become more sensitive to such things. Thus internalized homophobia.

Take this scene for example. He seems a bit uncomfortable being there. Sai was probably made to be like this (inappropriate, talking about p*nis all the time, being compared to Sasuke, challenging Naruto about his fixation on Sasuke) so Kishi could introduce more such themes into the manga. He's rather clever about this.

Another guess (it could be both combined) would be that since Jiraiya is so aggressively straight man (to the point he has to introduce himself by saying he's not into men lol) living with him for those years during the timeskip could have affected Naruto's mindset even more. But it's funny how Kishi keeps stressing over and over how Naruto finds Jiraiya's er*tic books boring. Also unlike Jiraiya who peeps on women for p*rverted reasons, Naruto does it as a prank, and in order to practice his oiroke no jutsu. Kishi is trying to show how they are different. I remember on one discussion forum one guy actually brought up he noticed Naruto's changed behaviour after he came back with Jiraiya! Like that he was even more gay and more sensitive to gay things. See, other people notice too.

Then he calls Konohamaru's boy-on-boy jutsu "nasty". Naturally, it's a shonen, Naruto can't have a comically interested reaction like Sakura to something like that, it wouldn't fly. Thus the internalized homophobia. But I also think he didn't want to see Sasuke who he's possessive over being with Sai like that lol. And Naruto really isn't one to talk considering what he came up with later.

Look how proud he looks. Little hypocrite. He's been working on those twink bods more than rasengan lol. Kishi wasn't very subtle with that comment. Also Kishi fought for this moment with his editors for YEARS because he just really needed to write this down. It was just that important to him...

Of course Naruto's repression comes up when it comes to Sasuke as well. Here he admits Sasuke is attractive, but then immediately backpedals on it. His real feelings just slipped.

Later, he was thinking about Sasuke, his mind consumed by Sasuke, but when Sakura and Sai appear his whole body language changes and he immediately claims he was thinking about a date with Sakura. He didn't want to be vulnerable nor let anyone know about his real feelings at the moment. He is hiding behind a heterosexual facade.

But sometimes Naruto doesn't even think of backpedaling on it. He is with his supposed "crush" yet unlike anyone else who would try to get closer or maybe flirt, he is just thinking about Sasuke. This is actually a moment that made many people raise their eyebrows. Including people who didn't like narusasu, or people who didn't ship anything. Specifically because it's written like a clickbait, as in Naruto says "he is happy" and Sakura going "huh?" and because she's his supposed crush who is taking care of him as I said most readers would expect next page have Naruto say something that would emphasize his crush on Sakura. But no, he goes on about Sasuke. No matter how much ss/nh insist we see gay everywhere, many other people picked up on Kishi's writing at many points during the story. But anyway, even with the internalized homophobia, Naruto's love for Sasuke is so strong he can say crazy things about Sasuke to other people and to Sasuke himself that things like "I'm starting to like you" (a completely average thing to say to another person) can't compare to, and still be unbothered by it.

Finally there is the interaction with Minato. Naruto wants to look good in front of his dad so he hesitantly agrees Sakura is his girlfriend, despite how in the previous arc we were shown that Naruto knew Sakura still likes Sasuke, and was angry at her when she tried to confess to him. So he is obviously not serious about Sakura being his girlfriend, but he is saying it to Minato hesitantly. Yet when his dad is leaving he doesn't want to lie anymore.... but he's also hesitant about admitting he hasn't found a girl like his mom wanted.

About the last part, I think it's referring to the armadillo scene? I think it was Kishi's typical humour, like how Naruto saw Haku in makeup and feminine clothing, and assumed Haku was a girl, but then was told Haku is a boy and went "oh okay, I didn't know that kind of thing existed". Here there was instead an armadillo that somehow looked like it was wearing makeup (??? idek or at least looked feminine) and since Naruto needed to write down whether the animals were boys or girls (a ridiculous cover up mission they made up to hide the war was going on from Naruto lol) but then it was flipped over with everyone else and Naruto saw its p*nis and went "even if heaven and earth switched places, a male is still a male". I guess Kishi likes this kind of thing lol... his d*ck jokes...

I know it says "the world might flip over" here but I know it's actually that proverb "even if heaven and earth switched places" that's often used in Japanese.

EDIT: this got flagggged by tumblr so I had to edit sus words.

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

All About The Trines. Pt. 2 The Moon's Delight

So heres pt.2 , all about the moon and the placements it forms a trine with. Enjoy !

Moon trine Saturn

Expressive authority traits. Can be open and transparent if they like you. But not so good with closed off people. The thing is, a moon/saturn placement can usually be the closed off person, but the trine makes them open up easily. This is because they're able to open up with themselves more often than others. The trine makes this individual easy going on the eyes, but they can be a bit more distant close by. It's a protective thing. There really good at letting you know how they're feeling without saying too much. Their witty if you pay close attention.

Another thing about this moon placement is that, there really good with people and taking on leadership roles. There especially good with children, and helping the emotional maturity thrive. They are excellent teachers and watchers of the environment. And there good at telling you about yourself especially if you're up to know good. The mother archetype is associated with moon/saturn peeps.

Moon trine Mars

Raw personas. They have a sexual nature to them that doesn't go unnoticed. Its like eros (asteroid) trine mars so to speak. They don't mean it all the time, it's just the way their vibe is. There vibe is very powerful as far as how they move. They can start an uproar just by their presence alone. It is there emotional upbringing that makes them form a confident aura. Most people with this placement had to prove their worth a lot, so as time went on they became confident in who they are and could boast about it a little. Not to much tho. Very organic when it comes to who they are and what they want. If they desire it, they'll find a way to get it.

Could be closed off to people they first meet, they'll open up if they can sense you're one of them. If not, they'll keep you close by but at a far enough distance so you don't know who they really are. Very interesting placement.

Moon trine Jupiter

Strong appetite with getting along with the unfamiliar. Loves knowledge and can potential seek out new information when the time is right. They have alot of information stored in them and they love to share it willingly and unwillingly. This trine is a natural force when it comes to the expression of their emotions. They use it to belt out what needs to be and this potential energy can push itself forward onto others giving people the healing that they need to get through the day. A very special aura connected to this placement holder.

Moon trine Mercury

Smooth talkers. An ability to belt out information and absorb others think pieces and milking it in a way that can become their own true thoughts. They're silly, sweet, and full of loving energy. Very child like when it comes to their inner nature, and very fun to have around too.Special personas with a knack for comedic thinking. There very food at easing the mind with their words, and can make you think of something you didn't have in mind at all. Could be very good at writing stories especially children's novels.

What they should do with this power is to make a difference with their words and be more comfortable with their speech. They should be more open with the people they meet because their sweet words can be a blessing. <3

Moon trine Venus

Wow. This placement is amazing to have and I call it a lucky placement. It has its ways with others that typically a sun/venus person couldn't do simply because the moon has a mystery in its aura that added with venus makes it move without missing a beat. The moon trine venus person has a gift in charisma that is connected to a part of their soul that can't be mimicked. Why do people like them so much? It's simply within them. Theres nothing they have to do to get people to like them, they just have to will their magic and boom, people are drown to them. Theres a magnetism with this placement that's unmatched with other venusians.

Moon trine Pluto

So this placement has a lot of potential at changing the way people feel. For better or worse, their gifted in the crafting of alchemy that their minds can shift into whatever it is they partake in. There emotional state is transfixed in whatever environment they are in, and how they move through those worlds they take something, or someone right along with them. Transformative auras, as they move through life, something changes them. And with each experiences, they can thrive to be better than the next. Opening doors for the next big thing, so they can heal themselves.. and others as well.

Moon trine Neptune

Beautiful spirits, they have a natural gift at letting go. The empathic qualities shows up here like no other. They are gifted in the arts so authentically that people think they just got it over night. Sweet babies that are filled with joy, the right people makes their souls spark. Giving them a chance to be more, to be higher than ever before. They are sensitive to noise, their ears are capable of receiving codes and information from the stars, guidance from the spiritual realm etc. It's a gift and a 'curse' if you will. But they got it going with the spiritual gifts, they know just what to do with them even if they don't.

Moon trine Uranus

Captivating in a way that shocks people and makes them feel deeper. They intrigue people with the way their emotions brings others to their knees. Most don't see a moon/uranus person coming and until they do, its like watching an alien. While everyone is stuck in the 2000s, their in 3008. They picked up on the cosmos long before they got here. They're just ready to make it back on home. Anywho, the person who has this trine placement is usually unique, has a gift in electrifying the world around them, and just knows things out of 'thin air' per-say. Just knowing one, you can feel the vibration they carry is totally newer than the average human. I'm joking. Their truly unique and something about you just stands out in a way that people can't figure out, but its truly internal and comes from the inner world.

Moon trine Rahu (North node)

Power meets dungeon. Dungeon meets power. The dragon wants its way out, but will you let it? With rahu, the emotions have a tempting fire, ready to burst through the cages and run as free is it can. You have a knack in vibrating high on a cloud and bringing us to the sanctuary we see for our own divinity. Mystical in nature, you're talents are embedded in the soul and must be tamed to prime perfection.

Moon trine Ketu (South node)

Gifted ability in the community and working with others. Has a knack for playfulness and a childlike aura already adapted in them. They naturally are equipped at making people wonder. Moon trine the south node shows a need for spirituality and can probably be a detached person already. They don't need much to feel good, they're already here.

(If you're looking for sun trine moon, thats on part 1, decided not to add this one on here).

Enjoy!

[thelikesofus]

Buddie Fic Recs

This is my 5th Buddie Rec List! I started compiling this list last April and omg looking back through them now I desperately need to reread them all. Highly recommend all of these fics, also please show the authors some love in their comments xx Happy Easter lovelies <3 REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS

where our eyes are never closing by @rewritetheending | T | 6k

After the lightning strike, Buck asks Eddie to take candid photos of him to help prove to Buck that he still exists. Absolute PEAK Softness. Buck through Eddie's eyes! I was a mushy puddle by the end. 10/10 would recommend. 

i got all my sisters with me by @useramor | T | 6k

Established relationship Buddie. Eddie’s sister has a baby and they travel down to Texas to meet the baby. DIAZ SIBLINGS UNITE! Seriously though the sibling dynamic in this is off the charts and Buck and Eddie are sickeningly in love, it is quite beautiful.

meet me where the tide comes in by @iinryer | G | 4k

A 3+1 fic about Eddie getting kissed on the head. FOREHEAD KISSES PTSD MORE HEAD KISSES AND BOYS IN LOVE!! Need I say anything more??

The one where Buck gets turned into a dog by @911onabc | G | 9k

Law Suit era BUT WAIT WAIT….DOG BUCK!! I am a sucker for fic where one of them gets turned into an animal. They are much more free with their affection when they think it's just a dog, or just a cat, and the bond between Eddie and "Boy" is so so wonderful. And I do love a happy ending xx

can't do this anymore (do it anyway) by @chronicowboy | T | 2k

Short and sweet but GOD this packs a punch. Eddie starts dating after the lightning strike and Buck is feeling Big Bad about it. He is so sad it truly breaks my heart but all works itself out in the end and Eddie proves Buck’s fears wrong.

We Found Each Other (Over There)  by @thekristen999 | T | 46k

Buddie WWII AU. A combat medic and a G.I. meet during one of the world’s greatest battles. This fic is a legitimate masterpiece. I cannot describe to you the quality of this fic because it is beyond words but I will tell you I stayed up until 3:30 am to finish it in one sitting and was left broken but made so so whole again. 

the mortifying ordeal of being known by @the-amber-raven | G | 60k

AU where Bobby is Buck’s adoptive Dad and Eddie is dating Buck but Eddie and Bobby think they are talking about two different people. Buck is training at the fire academy but hiding it from Bobby. This fic is the most beautiful tangle of miscommunication, love and family. 

like all good things are by @try-set-me-on-fire | T | 7k

Perfect, amazing, soul-destroying, magical, healing Fic. This literally covers all the bases. Chim and Bobby both get injured. OH! and Buck and Eddie were secretly dating all along. READ THIS FIC PEEPS!

find a way to you (if it kills me) by @eddiediazes  | M | 19k

The one where Eddie decides to start dating again, Buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief. BUCK PINING LV.10000000!

and i’d choose you (in a hundred lifetimes) by @monsterrae1 | E | 16k

Amnesia Exes fic by the wonderful Rae. Buck and Eddie fall in love via a penpal program and then Buck vanishes. This fic is set four years later. I literally could not put it down. I was reading it in class and then sat in my car for who knows how long just to finish it because I could not continue my day without knowing how it ended.

he never thinks of me (except when i'm on TV) by @loserdiaz | M | 18k 

APRIL'S FAMOUS!BUCK AND ARMY!EDDIE FIC!! In which Eddie finds out years later that his unrequited feelings for his high school best friend were not actually unrequited, Buck is stupidly famous now and they pine. OH THEY PINNNEEEEE! It’s delicious. 

every time we stop talking (the universe starts screaming) by @chronicowboy | M | 21k 

Alternative S7, Buddie Divorce Era Pt.2. Buck does something reckless and Eddie gets angry about it but these boys cannot communicate effectively to save their lives! This fic is peak angst to a happy ending and I felt like I had a hole in my chest OMG.

left your mark on this heart by @chronicowboy | G | 5k

Buck gets medically diagnosed with butterflies and the doctor makes him write in a notebook every time it happens. Surprise, surprise, the cause and effect is Eddie-related. The notebook entries kill me in the best way, the happiest happy ending

ALSO, YES THIS IS THE THIRD FIC BY THE SAME AUTHOR ON THIS LIST WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?? READ IT IS WHAT! COS THEY'RE SO DAMN GOOD. 

endless numbered days by @cal-daisies-and-briars | G | 13k 

Buck and Eddie's wedding but from Bobby's POV as Bobby reflects on the family he lost and the one he gained. Absolutely beautiful, I cried.

don’t wanna let you love somebody else but me by @shitouttabuck | T | 14k

Chris wants dating advice so obviously Buck and Eddie decide to Fake Date for research purposes. This fic is PEAK adorable, sappy, and awkward Buddie. They’re idiots but we love them and the certainly love each other. READ THIS FIC! 

[blkkizzat]

As Nurse Geto quickly tears through the community, we must know what the rest of the group’s go-to slutty Halloween costume is.

I typed a whole thing on my phone and then it got deleted cause my phone died. I'm an idiot lmfao. But yaaas lets do this round 2!!

JJK Slutty Halloween Costumes

Gojo is too pretty not to be our slutty baby girl. We gonna dress him in something cute like a slutty Little Bo Peep. A cute lil baby blue dress with ribbons and bows to match his eyes. The top will be corseted but come just below the nipples which will be covered with little pasties with blue braided tassels on them. Of course our baby girl also going to be wearing some garters attached to sheer white stockings and some mary janes on his feet. Gojo knows he looks sexy as hell but he will still blush when he realizes the skirt of his dress is so short you can see the precum staining his cute white panties.

Toji is like a wild animal and as such its only fitting that he is Tarzan. The man is going to be in nothing but a furry loin cloth, cheeks out in the breeze. We are going to need some STURDY material though cause Toji hangs LOW and HEAVY. He's gonna break like 3 of them before we finally find one that works for him. He's also going to most definitely use this costume as an excuse to act like a complete fool. He's not going to let you walk anywhere and just slang you over his shoulder, ass up. "Me Toji. You woman. Me eat pretty pussy from back."

Choso is a puppy. The man is TOO eager to be obedient. He wears black fuzzy ears and a collar with a bell so you can see hear him coming and will walk around on all fours following you around everywhere like a puppy too. He's so obedient for you, wearing nothing else but a cockring and tight black demin shorts. He'll stay like that all day too until he can't take it any more and beg for your permission for him to cum. You better not keep him waiting too long though bestie or once you release him you will find out your cute lil puppy actually got that DAWG in him. Then it will be your turn to be puppy when he ties your hands back and relentlessly delivers backshots in doggy position.

Nanami is a Magic Mike/Chippendales dancer. We all know this man looks good in a suit but imagine what he looks like just in a bowtie and form fitting suit pants. OILED UP, glistening and muscles flexing he will have you salivating when when he finally rips off his suit pants to reveal himself in a tiny black thong. You know he is going to give you a show too. But you will have to be a good girl. No touching. Just sit there and let him do all the work. [lol now i want to write a whole drabble about this]

Sukuna you will have to fight to get in a costume but once you tell him he would make the perfect slutty priest he is all for the sacrilege. White priest collar attached to a black sleevless latex top cropped at the waist, showing off his taunt abs. He doesn't miss your stares as your eyes are drawn lower to his tight latex pants sitting low on his hips and showing off his v-line and the imprint of his huge cock. He's definitely going to power trip and let it go to his head. "On your knees slut, it's time to confess and repent."

[letmerideitchris]

𐬺𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑𐬺

summary: Chris Matt and Nick get a new videographer, she is funny, smart and pretty, basically everything Chris could ever want in a girl. Chris finds it impossible not to fall for her…

Warnings: pregnancy(?)

wc: 705

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐

Chris is still sitting on the couch; his stomach and head was in too much pain to move to his bed. Chris looked more pale than usual, which made complete sense now that he is going to be a dad, he had only just turned 21. Matt is sitting on the other end of the couch in case Chris needs his company. Not a word has been spoken out of any of their mouths since nick went to go get y/n, it's been 2 hours, and they still haven't come back to the house. Matt turns his head to Chris to see if he's shut his eyes, he hasn't, matt doesn't even think he's seen him blink. As more time passes, Chris is creating more and more problems in his head, only the most negative things are passing through. I don't know how much more he can take before he literally explodes. Chris finally shut his eyes, suddenly they opened back wider than they've been this whole time. He jumps up. Matt and him both lock eyes. Keys are screwing into the door. Chris doesn't know if he should be scared of what nick is going to say or scared that he has brought her back to the house.  

Chris' heart drops as he hears two sets of shoes coming up the stairs. He sees nicks head peer over the wall near the staircase, he didn't come alone. There she is, right by nick, makeup smudged, terrible posture, and still crying. “Chris please can you go down to your room, y/n needs to rest on the couch” nick says with evident stress. No words leave Chris's mouth, he sits up and stretches the pain out his stomach then stands up on his unstable legs, y/n and Nick are still paused on the stairs, before Chris walks downstairs he approaches y/n, exchanges the slightest smile, then continues to walk down to his room.  

Chris is in his bed, and all of a sudden doesn't feel so sad after smiling at y/n, it was a sense of relief, that maybe this could work out. He can finally get some sleep that he will need because he knows that it is going to be a big day tomorrow. He is going to have to speak to y/n at some point, in the end she is carrying his child. Three knocks from the door wake Chris up, “uhh who is it”, y/n peeps her head from behind the door “hi, it's just me, could I maybe come in?” He's in such a state that he can't even produce any words, so he just nods and waves her in. He sits up and brushes his fingers through his hair, she takes a seat on the end of the bed. “Chris I'm sorry I ran out like that it wasn't fair by me; it just didn't seem like you were going to stick by me through the whole pregnancy thi-” “why would you think that? I know I may not be ready and prepared to be a dad, but I know youre probably not ready to be a mum, so how would it be fair for me to leave you in the dirt like that?” Chris says shuffling closer to y/n. “Chris, you don't realize how comforting that is to hear.” Y/n says feeling like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. “I really want things to work out between us, and I know we haven't known each other for that long but since I have decided to keep the baby, I think it is important for us to get to know each other a bit more before heading into a serious relationship.” Chris gently takes y/n’s hand in his own and looks into her eyes “I couldn't agree more”. Chris leans in her direction and she quickly melts into his embrace, like she had been waiting for his comfort for an eternity. “Thank you, Chris, really”  

Chris and y/n took the next few months leading up to the birth of baby Saylor slowly, Chris decided to propose to y/n 5 months after Saylor was conceived. They're now living a happy life in Boston not far from Chris’s parents' house. 

sorry for how long this took for me to release!! but hope you enjoy our conclusion to the videographer fiction, thanks for all the love 😘💕

credits to @bernardsbendystraws for dividers

taglist:

@chrissturnsss @sophand4n4 @chrispycremedonut

@clairesrose @sturnsmad @riggysworld

@victoryouactuallydidthis @itasmallworld

@trevorsgodmother @sturnobsessedwh0re @sturninsworld

@mattsturnioloshands @sweetshuga @madisturni

@sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan

[readychilledwine]

Lose You to Love Me

Summary - You had wanted him for years, loved him for centuries, and waited for him to notice you and see you. But all books have to close, even if we don't like the ending.

Warnings - NSFW, oral, pentration, unrequited love/blind lovers, sex as a tool, the infamous solstice night, implied big brother knows/forbidden romance situation,

A/N - our last @azrielappreciationweek post. Some angst, smut, and feels for us to end the week. I will back from vacation tomorrow and cannot wait to see how this piece went over. 💙 ps. My hormones are all over the place, so I may have cried rereading this because it is such a familiar feeling that we all know. Hopefully, I caught all my errors.

Peep pt 2 here

You threw the last book into your bag, sighing heavily as it entered the pocket world and disappeared to your new waiting chambers in Winter. 

You had tried to tell Rhysand you were leaving. Tried to talk to him about the position Kal had offered you, when you'd be going, how this was a set in stone for good move. Did your sweet distracted older brother listen, though? No.

He had not bothered listening since Feyre came. Cassian had not bothered since Nesta was made. And Azriel? Well, that was a complicated story of its own. One you tended not to linger long on, even in your own mind.

Simply put, you were no longer needed here. Meanwhile, Kal, his court needed you. It was still recovering from Amarantha's attacks, and your ability to speak to the land and find where darkness was plaguing it would be a boon to him and his efforts. You had agreed with little hesitation, mind completely open to the new beginning he was offering. 

Your only guilt was choosing to run in the middle of the night on Solstice. 

You left your room to leave a note on the table for Rhys, pausing as you almost ran into Azriel. "Sorry-"

He interrupted your thoughts immediately,  cool shadows looking you over. "What's wrong?" Hazel eyes studied you, reopening the doorway to your room and forcing you back inside. "Y/n, what's wrong?" 

You shook your head, moving to embrace him one last time before you left. 

Azriel was still in your arms, one hand on the small of your back as even his breath came to a pause. "Y/n, where are your things? Why is your room empty?" 

"I'm leaving," your voice was muffled into the soft material of his shirt. "I've been telling you for months, Az."

Azriel pulled you back looking down at you in shock. "We thought you were kidding. You can't leave. Theres-" his jaw had a feather twitch as it clenched. "What can I do to make you stay?"

You shook your head again, watching as his face fell and tears lined both of your eyes. 

Something in Azriel changed in that moment, and the next thing you knew, his lips had slammed on yours, a hand tangled into your hair while the other snaked around your waist. He backed you to the bed, lips moving against yours as if he had been hoarding a lifetime of passion. He lowered you gently, immediately studying you and waiting for permission to continue. 

With a shaking breath, you nodded. A soft "please," falling from your lips. He began his assault again, gently this time though, lips moving at a slow pace as he crawled on top of you. You began unbuttoning his shirt, hands sprawling his bare chest once it was exposed, before moving to the back to undo the closures around his wings and take the material off completely. 

His lips moved to your jawline nipping softly at the flesh there and then to your neck. He growled at the soft gasp that left your mouth as he found the spot between your neck and shoulder that made your body tingle and skin ignite in goosebumps.

He took you removing his shirt as permission to remove yours. Then the soft lace bra he paused to admire. "Is this okay," he whispered in your neck. "You would tell me to stop, right?" 

"Yes," it was a breathless answer again, fueling him to grab more of that from you. 

You had wanted this, wanted him, since you were old enough to understand what these feelings were. This was bittersweet. You knew it was him giving one last ditch effort to keep you here. You knew it wasn't more than him caving to what he knew you had always wanted. 

At least in your mind, that's what you believed. For Azriel, this was the crescendo to a long slow dance the two of you had played for centuries now. You were beautiful, kind, loving, and he only had one chance at this, one moment to hold you, he'd take it regardless of those consequences. Regardless of the fist fight he'd have to survive tomorrow, he'd worship you this one night if this was his last chance to do it.

A soft moan left you and your back arched as he began to suck, lick, and gently roll your nipple between his teeth. His hand played with the other breast as he took his time ensuring that your sensitive peak was hardened before switching his mouth to the otherside pulling those same panting moans from you as your own hand tangled back into his silken hair. 

Scarred hands hooked into the waistband of your soft leggings as Azriel released your breast with a soft pop. He looked up at you again, waiting for permission before sliding them down, groaning softly as the soaked lace panties you were wearing. 

"I'd like to believe you wore these just for me," he muttered. 

You whispered back, "How do you know I wasn't?" And something ignited in his eyes. Ripping them off of you while maintaining eye contact and growling in response. He wasted no time, settling between your legs and kissing from inner knee to thigh as he placed your legs over his shoulders. 

That first lick had your head thrown back into the pillows, back arching, and lips parting in shock. Azriel looked up at you through hooded eyes, hazel lost in lust as he savored you, licking through your folds again before nudging that swelling bundle of nerves. Shadows came to your wrists, pulling them above your head and locking your arms there. It left you completely to his mercy. And that was exactly how he needed you. 

He began to alternate between pushing his tongue as deep into you as he could, licking and drinking the nectar flowing from your core to moaning and humming, his lips sucking your clit. 

You were panting, writhing in place, and moaning for him, begging him for more, for everything. "Azriel, please," you cried as his tongue found your entrance again. He took mercy on you then, latching his lips around your clit rolling it below his tongue gently all while a finger began to run through your soaking heat and then pushed in. 

The Silent scream that left your mouth had him doubling his efforts, wanting to hear the real thing fall from your lips as he began searching. A whiny loud moan left your lips when he found his target, that soft silk spot inside of you. He began pulling that single finger in and out, curling it with each thrust as he continued licking at you clit and moaning as your hips began to roll and grind. That second finger had you panting, his name falling again and again as your eyes fluttered shut and back fully arched. You were close, so fucking close and he could tell. "Cum for me. Look at me and cum for me, y/n. Let me see you fall apart." You obeyed without question as he moved to be above you, watching your face as his fingers pulled you apart string by string. His thumb came to your clit, gently circling the nerves, and when you came, you swore you saw the night sky in her entirety. You screamed his name before falling into whine like moans as he kissed you to silence the noises you were making. 

They were for him and him alone tonight. 

He removed his fingers from you, bringing them to your lips and watched under clouded eyes as you licked and sucked them clean. 

It was desperation that had your hands flying to the ties of his pants, eyes locked on his as you got them loose and pulled them down, releasing his heavy hard cock. You began stroking him, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you finally felt the weight of him, the softness of him in your hands. Azriel groaned, leaning to grab the headboard above you, lost in the feeling of your smooth hand working him, enjoying the way lust had set in so heavily you dropped all inhibitions for him. His hips began to move in time with your hand. Moaning as he felt his stomach tighten in anticipation. He grabbed your wrist, squeezing it gently to stop you. "Next time," he stated firmly. And guilt set in as you watched him undress fully, there would not be a next time. Your heart could hardly handle this.

You couldn't handle being his flavor of the week, distracting him from his clear wants to be with another. You would take one night, close this chapter, and let go of him, freeing yourself of these unrequited feelings burning inside of you.

He wrapped your legs around his waist lining himself up with your entrance. He pushed in gently, watching your face the entire time as your eyes squeezed shut, breath leaving your lungs. 

You had never felt so full and complete in your life, and you knew deep down you would never feel this again. 

How could you? You were allowing himself to ruin you for any other male, knowing damn well about that string in your chest that never snapped for him. 

Azriel rolled his hips, eyes squeezing shut as your heat swallowed him whole, consuming every inch of him and his soul. You were incomparable and irreplaceable, and his mission set in now. 

Showing you exactly what you meant to him the only way he truly knew how. Gentle kisses came with gentle thrusts, praises whispered in your ear of how much he cared for you, how beautiful you were. Your legs wrapped his waist tighter, hands scratching down his back as those hard deep thrusts hit and filled every inch of you, setting your nerves and body on fire. "Gods I love you," he whispered once he lost himself in bliss. "I love you so fucking much."

And you whispered it back, knowing it was your one chance to tell him. Knowing this was goodbye and tomorrow he'd go back to pursuing Elain. You whispered it over and over, his forehead finding yours as those thrusts picked up pace, hitting that perfect spot every time. "I've always loved you," he whispered. "It's always been you." 

Meaningless words. Words meant to comfort you as if he knew what he was doing. As if he knew the years of tearing yourself apart you had gone through. "I'm right there, baby," he moved to kiss you again, a shadow coming between you to lick at your clit. "Need you to come with me. Need to feel you. Please, y/n," he moaned into your neck. "Please, give me one more baby." 

"Harder," you commanded gently. Needing him to hurt you. "If you want me to come, fuck me harder." 

Legs went from his waist to over his shoulders, allowing him deeper into you, and he began a brutal pace, smirking as you began to shake around him immediately. He had you seeing stars already, that coill tightening over and over like a string waiting to bust. Fingers gently went to a splayed wing, touching the ridge and making Azriel roar as he spilled into you without warning, and triggering your own completion. 

He held you in place, a few sloppy ruts into your seed filled cunt before he pulled out and laid next to you. He pulled your bare body to his, your back meeting his chest. 

Neither of you spoke, words having already been said that you both meant to take to your grave. 

You waited until he fell asleep, kissing him one last time and dressing yourself. You stepped onto the balcony, summoning your wings and wiping the tears that were falling. 

You took off, closing the book of your time in the Night Court as you did along with ending the tragic love story between you and Azriel. 

The next morning, Azriel woke up to an agonizing cry and scream. One he knew belonged to Rhysand. You were gone, your side of the bed empty. He immediately sent shadows to search for you before shielding the scent of sex that lingered on his skin and grabbing his clothing to shift himself to his room.

He had barely pulled pants on before Rhys was at his door, tears streaming as he handed Azriel a note. "Find her. Please find her. Please bring her home. I." Rhys didn't need to explain as Azriel pulled him to his chest. "I can't lose her. Please find her."

And as Azriel held Rhys, he swore on that golden glittering bond he would not stop until he did find you. And he would not stop until you realized those words he whispered to you last night weren't just words. They were his truth.

[if-whats-new]

Meet the Team!

Who are we?

Just a few Interactive Fiction enthusiasts who love sharing their interests with the rest of the internet!

But we're also:

-=-

Heyo! I'm Aj (she/her)

I got into IF through the app called Choices way back in 2017 and since then there was no turning back. It wasn't until last year when I got into text-based IFs. A friend on tumblr reblogged 'Defiled hearts', it caught my interest and here I am deep down in the trenches of IFs.

Listing my favourites isn't an easy thing cause there are so many I love. So I will list some that have been on my mind for a while: Infamous, Press Play, College Tennis: Origin Story, Drink your Villain Juice, Golden, The Golden Rose, Our Life Now and Forever, We Wretched Creatures, TWC , The Lonely Shore, Blood Choke and Midnight Sun.

I mostly help out with finding IF news and game updates in the wild.

-=-

How you doing?!? I'm Bex (she/her) *on hiatus

I started my journey with Voltage (now Love365) and dating sims or Otome games on my PSP Vita *sheds a tear*. I honestly don't know how I came upon IF, but I fell in love with ​Our Life: Beginnings & Always around 2021?

My favourites? Hmm, currently it would be: Love and Leases, Adoriel's Tears, The Abyssal Song, Keyframes, Our Life 2 and a bunch of Kickstarters that I can't wait for!

Personally, I'm married with no kids! And I work full-time as an administrator. Boring, I know.

In regards to the Zine, I normally do the formatting. Basically taking everything the peeps have found and putting it all into the Zine. I try and write some of the Highlights and try to dabble in the Editorial (if my work doesn't get edited).

-=-

Hello!!! This is Briar! (she/her)

I am one of the interviewers!

I got into IFs this year, and boy, my eyes were opened, and I got so obsessed that I decided to write my own (The Mighty Shifter). My personal favourites are TWC, Infamous, God-Cursed, and Viatica.

I am a uni student who is studying English literature. What else...? Have an amazing day/night!

-=-

Hey, hi and hello! I'm Dion (they/he)

I started my journey into IF through Episode, but due to poor non-female MC representation, I soon began to look for something else. My friend then introduced me to text-based games through The Wayhaven Chronicles and Mind Blind. I've been going deeper down the rabbit hole since!

I'm literally majoring in interactive media. IF is my life now, send help. (/j)

Some of my favourites would be: Mind Blind, Shepherds of Haven, Reanimated Heart, Seven days in purgatory, Chronicles of Taldun: The Remainder, seekL, LLLLL (aka LATEX, LEATHER, LIPSTICK, LOVE, LUST) and a lot of the stuff DOMINO CLUB does. (There isn't only IF, but that's what I usually go for. Definitely check them out if you're into creepy indie stuff!)

I'd call myself the jack of all trades concerning the zine. As of now, my main job is to be the social media guy and to do the different exports (playable Zine, Tumblr, PDF/.txt). But I also help out with news-searching and compiling + editing stuff for the editorial, column, highlight, letter and thanks portions.

-=-

Hey all, this is Jenn (she/her) *on hiatus

I am a youth sports coach (fútbol, softball, basketball) based in Los Angeles. I am in the process of applying for a master’s program (Sports psychology).

I did write and code a couple of IF games but never finished. I am a perfectionist and I couldn’t publish something not up to my standards. I started reading IF a couple years ago and I couldn’t possibly name my favorite. Some of the most memorable IFs are: The Exile, TWC, Crown of Ashes and Flames, Infamous, WWC, Zombie Exodus: SH, The Golden Rose, The Fernweh Saga, and Crown of Exile. I can definitely add more…

Basic responsibilities: Scouring the internet for IF news and frequently updating our existing database. I honestly enjoy the challenge. On a good day I can find upcoming IF titles and newly released demos. It’s so exciting to find new IF because I know someone will eventually see the same potential I do in that new IF.

-=-

Ssuuuupppp, I’m Sir tuskhany (He/Him)

I am one of the lovely interviewers who’ll be asking questions, you know grilling fellow authors on their IF, WIPS and favourite characters. The usual. As to why or how I started, I gotta say its cause of books and great authors like Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson. And their respective series wheel of time and basically the whole Comsere universe. I tried following in their footsteps writing a few books of my own. But like every writer most of these ended up being WIPs I either abandoned or stopped. Still I didn’t let that stop me and started posting some of them, I am the writer of Borne of the sands a static webnovel with a few chapters and Dusk and Dawn my current ongoing project(Still a work in progress so forgive the grammatical errors. T-T).

My favourite series are the Keeper of the Day and Night, Infamous, Wayhaven Chronicles and Blood Moon.

The current story I’m working on was inspired by these however most of my inspiration came from static or interactive cyoas like the Slayers v4, Supernatural Investigator, Demigod v4, A Traveller!s Tale and Universal War. If you haven’t heard of them please give them a go they are amazing.

Have fun and stay posted!

-=-            

[austinsastrology8991]

PLuto Aspects - respect him or he won't respect you - part 1 Pluto aspecting sun - SOME INtriguing ass people, but the more you dig into them the more you wanna find out. But I believe the soul reason they do this is because they are thirsty for power and validation. they are great at getting it tho cant hate these players but they can be frustrating, because the more you talk to em the more you wanna talk to em. Pluto aspecting moon - Real dark people, they are always quiet and hide or tone down there reactions towards others. I dont care how pretty they pretend to be everyone knows something is off with these guys, its like they portray an image too much, because they refuse to let anyone in. Pluto aspecting Mercury - Smart mother fuckers who'll never tell you everything but enough to make you rethink whatever it is you were thinjking. they want you to be believe they are average, but whenever you talk to them they can't help but impress you with what they know, then your like what else you know, then they act like they dont know shit again. kinda annoying but they are smart as hell Pluto aspecting venus - so beautiful but also not at all. honestly really frustrating because they are so hot but then you find out who there ex is and suddenly you think your better than them. but then you look at there face and fall in love all over again. smh i just wanna be pretty like yall but i got other bullshit going on. ehhhh i stilll love admiring them they are so beautiful seriously, and honestly i feel like they have to lower there standards because everyone is too afraid to approach them outta fear of rejection :/ Pluto aspecting mars - dominant peeps, they let you know that they know what the fuck is up. they dont even care if you disrespect them they'll still steam roll all over you. its impressive there will power, but its also annoying because they never listen. they are so focused on being the taker, so much so to the point where they refuse to be taken advantage of. which only makes it all the more likely because they are constantly taking advantage of others... this is part 1, part 2 coming

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for July 2024! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. You can find all our other posts here.

Happy reading!

＊ Peeping by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom [E, 16k, Harry/Louis]

Louis hates his job as an accountant and desperately wants to be a teacher. Of course, that would mean going back to uni, which he can’t afford if he wants to keep up the mortgage payments on his house. It’s Niall that suggests Louis gets a housemate.

Harry is great around the house, loves cooking and cleaning, and everything is fine, lovely even. That is until Louis locks himself out of the house, and in his attempts to get inside, he stumbles upon Harry wanking to a video of Louis playing footy.

OR Louis has a thing for his housemate, Harry is under the impression that clothing around the house is an optional extra, and neither of them seem to be able to stop wanking long enough to get their shit together and admit their true feelings.

＊ Unbonded by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom [E, 24k, Louis/Harry]

“Look,” Louis says firmly. “Last time I checked, I’m still the pack leader, so you damn well better listen to me. It was Harry who worked out what I’d been poisoned with, then nursed me back to health. And it was Harry who thwarted the plan for my second assassination attempt by literally throwing himself in front of an arrow intended for me, nearly dying in the process, which is why we’re even having this argument in the first place. So if you think I’m going to set foot outside of this hut until he’s fully healed, you’ve all seriously misread the situation, and even more importantly, you’ve all seriously misread me.”

OR the one where Harry is an omega who has been cast out from his pack, Louis is the alpha leader of the pack where Harry finds a new home, Liam is an alpha with heart of gold, and Niall is a cook who can't seem to stop setting himself on fire.

＊ frightened by the bite, no harsher than the bark by localopa / @voulezloux [T, 21k, Louis/Harry]

louis loves going to the barricade during his shows. if it’s because he’s got a bit (lot) of touch deprivation and is using it as an excuse to have his big alpha bodyguard, harry, touch him, well, that’s a secret he doesn’t need to tell.

＊ the past might be painful, but i’m in love with our future by localopa / @voulezloux [T, 10k, Harry/Louis]

it takes a lot of convincing for louis to let harry take him to his first pride. harry understands his worries and fears. really, he does. he just wants to show his boyfriend that he doesn’t have to be alone anymore.

a don’t be afraid to love (and love again) time stamp. Part 2 of trans louis verse

＊ If Life Is a Photograph by @allwaswell16 [T, 2k, Louis/Harry]

Harry gets plucked out of the crowd to take Louis’ crew pic on stage in Guadalajara.

＊ It Was Electric Touch by @allwaswell16 [E, 2k, Harry/Louis]

Harry, assistant to The Snuts' manager, has been indulging in fantasies about the headliner and founder of the Away From Home Festival, Louis Tomlinson. He gets the chance to indulge in the real thing at the after party.

＊ Tastes Like Violets by @allwaswell16 [T, 2k, Louis/Harry]

Pop star Harry Styles has a bit of a crush on his makeup artist's brother.

Or Louis has a death metal band, Harry doesn't mind public challenges via Twitter, and Lottie thinks they're both hopelessly chaotic.

＊ Coração selvagem by Stria / @nooradeservedbetter [NR, 50k, Louis/Harry]

Louis keeps his eyes on the Wolf, careful about every movement he makes. He keeps his head tilted, deliberately showing the right side of his neck; the mating gland is on the other side, but this still shows he’s not a threat. Zayn answers at the third ring. “Lou?” he asks, confusion seeping into his voice. “Zed,” Louis says quietly, trying to keep his tone as calm as possible. “Zed, I’ve found Harry. He’s feral.”

Or, Louis' life in his newfound Pack gets disrupted by an old flame coming back for him, shifted and feral.

＊ No Surprises by @louislittletomlintum [E, 21k, Harry/Louis]

The thing was, Louis worked in an office, and it was fine. It could be worse.

But maybe, it could be better.

“I smoke socially, sometimes. Depends who I’m with,” Harry shrugged, taking another puff. Louis watched his soft little lips wrap around it and purse just slightly on the inhale. It wasn’t the first time he considered if Harry was perfectly made just to torment him.

“Hm. I won’t send you to jail for now, then. On crimes of fibbing,” Louis decided benevolently. He was about to open his mouth to spout off some other shite before he saw Harry had a bit of a pensive look in his features despite how his eyes were a little glassy.

“Lou,” he began, and god Louis loved that he’d earned that little nickname off of him. “Can I ask you summat?” Harry added, tapping the ash of the cigarette in the tray before taking another puff.

“You just did,” Louis smiled because Harry walked right into that one. “But I’ll give you another,”

“How did you know you were queer?”

or; an office au where louis is a loveable brat and harry is working himself out

＊ Listening to Intuition by @lululawrence [NR, 5k, Louis/Harry]

Now that Zayn was laying it all out like this, Louis got to wondering… could it be possible that he was never able to get a really good handle on what exactly aromanticism was because he’d never felt romantic attraction, and without that key piece, how could he possibly figure out what it truly meant to be lacking it?

Louis has a good grasp of his own identity and how all the pieces of him fit together in his life as a queer man in a committed relationship with his partner. Or so he thinks until his favorite aroace TikTok creator shows him another possibility he may have previously overlooked. Part 1 of Looking for a Good Time

＊ Smells Like TEAM Spirit by @persephoneflouwers [NR, 10k, Harry/Louis]

Punk Louis and quarterback Harry have been secretly dating for years. Feeling overwhelmed by his commitments, Harry suggests a short break, fearing he can't give Louis enough time. As Louis reflects on his vulnerabilities, Harry struggles on the field without him. Part 1 of ~ Pocket Tales unfolding on Screen ~

＊ If Control is My Religion… by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28 [E, 14k, Louis/Harry]

“So just to recap, you’ve been vomiting every single morning, and then you seem to be fine for the rest of the day?”

Louis nods. “Except for yesterday when Liam was eating a tuna sandwich after practice and it smelled vile. Who the hell even likes tuna sandwiches?”

Niall sighs in the way that a disappointed parent might. “Louis, please don’t take this in the wrong way, because I’m not judging you at all. But is there any possibility that you’re pregnant?”

Louis scoffs. Technically, it is possible. Louis’ known he was a male carrier since his routine physical when he was sixteen. But it isn’t actually possible, not really. He and Harry always use a condom.

Except for that one day a few weeks ago when Louis had forgotten to buy more and they couldn’t wait. And the time the week before that when the condom had broke, but they both figured it was probably fine.

Shit.

(Or the one where Louis is a professional football player, who’s in a very mutually beneficial no-strings-attached relationship with the team’s medical trainer Harry. Everything in Louis’ life is exactly how he wants it. Until he finds himself unexpectedly pregnant).

＊ Forward by itsraininginengland / @ilovellama14 [E, 10k, Harry/Louis]

Harry and Louis must keep moving forward.

Quiet scenes from an older Louis and Harry, who are always working to be better together.

＊ Yesterday’s gone (it’ll be better than before) by red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa [E, 3k, Louis/Harry]

Leo’s frown. His attempt to call after Louis. Ed saying he was surprised to see Louis here. All those little moments fell into place the moment he spotted Harry Styles.

Harry Styles, his former bandmate.

Harry Styles, who he hadn’t seen face to face in over three years.

Harry Styles, who was technically still Harry Tomlinson-Styles.

OR Louis and Harry run into each other at the Euros, there's a mix up at the hotel and they have a past

＊ Following the Good Vibes by @lululawrence [NR, 6k, Harry/Louis]

"Oh my god, I can't believe it's really you!" Zayn said with a wide smile, hands on his hips as if he was truly stunned over the fact this guy was sitting just a couple of seats behind him. "I thought it might be when I heard your voice, but I haven't seen you in years! How are you doing..."

It was then Zayn realized he didn't have a fucking clue what this guy's name was and he was pretending they were long lost friends.

After an awkward pause, Zayn finally tacked on, "...Chad!"

When Zayn rescues a stranger named Harry from an awkward plane ride beside a total dick, he doesn't think much of it. Harry as the chance to pay it forward on a later flight, and in doing so he just might set into motion pieces that will determine the path his future takes. Part 2 of Looking for a Good Time

＊ It's Not That I Don't Want You by @parmahamlarrie [E, 12k, Louis/Harry]

It begins with a benign comment during a night in watching a show with his lovely boyfriend, Louis, and leads Harry to a months long journey to understand himself better. Will Harry figure out what makes him feel so different from everyone else? And will he find the courage to tell his boyfriend?

Or a character study into Ace Harry with the most supportive boyfriend, Louis.

＊ I'd Rather You (Hold Me)by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed [T, 14k, Zayn/Louis]

He frowns when he hears the dial tone. By now, he knows just how many times the sound will come through, tinny on the speakers, before it clicks over to voicemail, and yet he still feels his heart trip over itself whenever the voice first comes through.

“Hi, you’ve reached Zayn-”

He sighs, rubbing at his forehead, where his headache always tends to bloom when he’s stressed. “Fuck’s sake,” he grumbles, disconnecting the call and resisting the childish urge to redial immediately, knowing that if Zayn’s not picking up now, he won’t no matter how much Louis bugs him.

It’s just - this isn’t like them. It isn’t like Zayn to dodge his calls for days, not unless he’s seriously incapacitated or dead, but if that were the case, Louis would’ve heard. Because Louis is his emergency contact, for one, and both their families know how much they mean to one another. Someone would’ve called, if something had happened, unless Zayn was dead in his own house, and, oh God, what if Zayn’s dead in his own house and Louis has been mentally calling him a dickhead while he’s rotting on the bathroom floor?

Spoiler: Zayn isn't dead. There is however, suddenly a baby.

＊ coming home by @nouies [E, 2k, Louis/Harry]

It’s coming home, one way or another.

＊ Never Wanted Love, Just A Fancy Car by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove [M, 7k, Harry/fLouis]

“Anyways,” the man says, “someone as handsome as you shouldn’t be sitting all alone with an empty glass. Can I get you a drink?”Louis raises an eyebrow, snorting. “It’s an open bar,” he says. “The company is buying the drinks.”“Well.” The man laughs nervously. “I suppose so. But it is my company, so. I guess I already bought you a drink?”Louis feels his head jerk up in surprise, his mouth falling open as he looks into the face of COO Harry Styles, son of founder and CEO Desmond Styles.

When graphic designer Louis gets asked out by C-suite executive Harry, he thinks Harry is trying to take advantage of him. But he's willing to take advantage of him right back, if that's what it takes to get ahead in life and get his sister's new business off the ground.

＊ your brightest star by staybeautiful / @harruandlou [E, 35k, Louis/Harry]

“My baby,” Louis whispered into Harry’s neck, closing his eyes tightly into the embrace. Harry squeezed him closer and Louis could feel him nodding into his throat before he kissed him gently behind the ear.

“I love you,” Harry mumbled into his shoulder.

He tried to move closer, but they were already pressed together from cheek to where their ankles were tangled precariously together. “Me too, me too.”

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered, just for Louis’ ears. They swayed slightly, like a delicate dance to the distilled noise around them.

“Oh, darling. Sunshine.”

Or a series of timestamps from the sunshine, baby! universe 𖤓 Part 2 of you're the sun to me

＊ we could be enough by @hellolovers13 [M, 5k, Harry/Louis]

“You know I am flirting with you, right?”

Louis freezes mid-bite. Just manages not to choke on his steak.

Harry laughs a bit too loudly, almost like he’s nervous. “Yeah, should’ve known you weren’t the observant kind. You think I get this dressed up for a random dinner with a mate on a Tuesday night?”

or Louis never imagined anyone could love him for who he truly is.

Then he meets Harry.

＊ Just The Way You Are by @enchantedlandcoffee [G, 780 words, Louis/Harry]

"Do you miss it?" "Miss what, love?" He could hear the frown in Louis’ voice, and tried to subtly release soothing pheromones into the kitchen "You know...sex and all that." "Where's this coming from, Haz?"

Or, the one where Harry confesses his worries, and Louis reassures him. Part 1 of I Just Wanna Love You

＊ This Feels Like Home by @enchantedlandcoffee [G, 300 words, Harry/Louis]

After one too many nights alone in a hotel bed, Harry flies home on a whim to surprise his husband.

[uboat53]

Hey look, Biden pardoned his son and the media is going wall-to-wall in its coverage. Yeah, this is exactly what's wrong with our country right now. SHORT RANT (TM)?

WHAT HAPPENED?

So, for those who missed it, President Biden has officially pardoned his son Hunter. Media coverage of this is wall-to-wall today, it's the front page story on every single national news website. But, of course, that's not the whole story here or I wouldn't be calling it "what's wrong with our country".

Obviously it's getting reported as unequal justice, but let's look at what led to it in the first place. As reported at the time, the firearms charges that he was charged with and convicted of are charges that are almost never charged if they are the only ones that can be proven. In other words, far from being unequally pardoned of common crimes, the younger Biden is being pardoned of crimes that no ordinary person would have been charged with in the first place.

Let's face it, Biden wouldn't have needed a pardon if his dad hadn't been president. I'm a father myself and, if my kid was facing jail time as a result of something I did and I had the power to undo that, I'd undo it without a second thought and who cares about the consequences. Good luck finding a headline or even a full article in the American media today that provides all of that detail.

THE COVERAGE

The most responsible coverage reports this in the context of how it will provide an example for Trump to point to about how justice in this country is unequal/political, which, sure? Of course, that coverage (1) doesn't mention the context that I described above and (2) largely ignores Trump's own massive politicization of justice for the benefit of himself and his cronies.

The less responsible coverage, FOX News for example, simply reports it as an outrage the likes of which has never happened in American history and provides no other context whatsoever. As I said, I expect this from FOX, but the issue is how much this particular framing has leeched out into the broader media ecosystem because we've all forgotten the lessons of 2016 in which we should have learned that FOX and right-wing media in general must largely be tuned out if you want to report accurate news.

WHY IT'S A PROBLEM

Look, I'm all for being outraged that Biden is doing something like this, but are you only outraged at Biden? Where was this outrage when Trump pardoned major political supporters, campaign staff, and political advisors? Where was the outrage when he pardoned 7 Congressmen who had supported him politically? Where was the outrage when he pardoned wealthy individuals who had paid tens of thousands of dollars for those pardons? Where was the outrage when he promised to issue a blanket pardon to those who attempted to overthrow our Constitution and our democracy on January 6th, 2021? Where was the outrage when he talked about pardoning HIMSELF for the myriad of crimes that he has committed and been charged with?

If we're going to talk about unequal justice, let's talk about unequal justice, but at this point it seems like there is more outrage for people who take actions that might feed into Trump's misguided narratives than there is for Trump himself.

When Democrats talk about a double standard, this is it; Democrats are held to an impossible standard of perfection because any perceived misstep might give fuel to Trump's outrageous lies while Trump himself is able to do just about anything with only the barest of peeps. It's a double-standard that's guaranteed to make even the most perfect Democrat look as bad as Trump to the casual observer even as he wallows in corruption, bigotry, and criminality.

That's what's wrong with our country right now, we can't accurately get across the scale of atrociousness that Trump commits on a daily basis because we're too focused on making sure that those opposing him meet an impossible standard of purity before we're willing to even look at him. No problem can be fixed until the person who needs to fix it can put a name to the problem and describe it and the American media seems to be committed to making sure that we are never able to understand where the problem actually lies and what it actually is.

Until that changes, be prepared for American politics to sink deeper and deeper into the muck and mire of Trumpian corruption.

[thexmistress]

Hi🥸i saw that your requests were open so could you maybe write a part 2 of "the dilemma" where sukuna either gets it together or reader moves on with gojo (or nanami) and sukuna starts regretting how he was in the relationship🙏 cause him just replying with ❤️ after not texting reader for 2 days was crazyyy

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒟𝒾𝓁𝑒𝓂𝓂𝒶 𝓅𝓉. 𝟤

ˢʰᵉ/ʰᵉʳ | ˢᵘᵏᵘⁿᵃ ˣ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ ˣ ˢᵃᵗᵒʳᵘ

<ᵖᵗ.¹

ఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌ

Y/N stared at the '❤️' message from Sukuna, the brief moment of relief quickly fading into a familiar emptiness. She wanted more than just crumbs. She deserved more. As she wiped her tears and put away her painting supplies, she knows she has to make a decision

ఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌ

Y/N held onto the brief moment of relief that Sukuna's heart emoji brought, but deep down, she knew it wasn’t enough. It was just a temporary balm on a wound that refused to heal. The following days were no different. Sukuna remained distant, wrapped up in his own world, while Y/N felt increasingly isolated.

One evening, after a long day, Y/N decided to confront Sukuna. She needed clarity, an answer, or at least some semblance of resolution. She arrived at his apartment, her heart heavy with dread.

"Sukuna, we need to talk," she said, her voice steady but filled with resolve. She felt like she was about to commit a terrible crime. This felt wrong.

Sukuna glanced up from his game, irritation flickering in his eyes. "What now, Y/N?" She can hear Kenjaku and Choso voices peeping out of his headset.

She took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check. "I can't keep doing this. The constant neglect, the emotional distance. I need more than this."

He sighed, pausing his game. He muted his headset and took it off, he turned to her rubbing his face in the process, "What do you want from me? I'm here, aren't I?"

"But you're not really here," she replied, her voice trembling. She started second guessing if she was doing the right thing.

This feels wrong.

"You're physically present, but emotionally, you're somewhere else and I need a partner who's fully invested, who cares about my feelings…….. it just feels like you don’t care about me….. It feels like you don’t even like me." She didn’t even realize she started picking at her fingers, a habit he hates.

Sukuna's expression darkened, rolling his eyes and he stood up. "You always want too much. You're never satisfied."

"Maybe I am asking for too much," she admitted, tears welling up in her eyes.

This is wrong.

"But is wanting to feel loved and valued really too much?"

His silence spoke volumes, and that was the final straw for Y/N. She realized then that she couldn't keep sacrificing her happiness for someone who couldn't meet her halfway. She lost herself trying to get him to love her to the point where she didn’t even realize she lost the love for herself.

‘I was never enough’

"I'm done, Sukuna," she said, her voice breaking. "I can't keep doing this to myself. I deserve better."

As she walked out, a wave of despair crashed over her while a wave of relief crashed over his. Sukuna was a little baffled about her breaking up with him but like always he pushed it to the back of his mind and realized he got what he wanted.

Freedom.

The weeks that followed were some of the darkest she had ever known. She fell into a deep depression after witnessing Sukuna’s club and fling escapades on his instagram and Snapchat. She started struggling to find purpose and joy. Falling victim to bed rotting for half a year her art suffered, her friendships strained, and she felt like a shadow of her former self.

2 years later, while sitting in a café, she ran into an acquaintance of hers Satoru Gojo. His bright blue eyes sparkled with genuine concern as he spotted her while he was waiting for his order. If he were to be honest….. she looks terrible and by terrible he means her demeanor, something was off and he couldn’t tell exactly what. She lost that spark and youthful look he remembered seeing her wear when he would see her hanging with Shoko.

His legs carried him towards her and he towered over her as she was glued to her phone, "Y/N, you look like you could use a friend," he said, his voice gentle as he flashed her his signature grin.

She smiled weakly. "Yeah, I guess I do."

Gojo became a constant presence in her life, offering support and a listening ear. He never pushed, never demanded, just offered his companionship and understanding. Slowly, Y/N began to heal. She started painting again, finding solace in her art, and with Gojo's encouragement, she rediscovered her passion for life.

Months passed, and Y/N felt herself growing stronger. She smiled more, laughed more, and started to feel like herself again. Gojo's unwavering support had been a lifeline, pulling her out of the depths of her despair.

One evening, while they were sitting on a park bench eating the food they prepared earlier that day together, Gojo turned to her, his expression serious. "Y/N, I care about you a lot. I don't want to rush you, but I need you to know that I'm here for you, no matter what."

She looked into his eyes, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. "Thank you, Gojo. You've been my rock. I don't know what I would have done without you."

He leaned in slowly taking in her features, his sudden gaze making her feel self conscious. She could feel her heart beating through her chest as he leaned closer, his eyes locked on her lips and she could feel his breath on her lips, “Just call me Satoru from now on. Okay?” Was the last thing she heard before he closed the gap and captured her lips with his.

For the first time in a while Y/N truly felt at peace.

Their relationship blossomed naturally, built on a foundation of trust and mutual respect. With Satoru, Y/N felt valued, cherished, and truly loved. She found herself looking forward to the future, no longer haunted by the shadows of her past.

Meanwhile, Sukuna watched from afar, his regret growing with each passing day as he clicks on Satoru’s instagram story watching their love story grow. He saw the light return to Y/N's eyes, the way she laughed with Satoru, and he realized just how much he had taken for granted. The weight of his mistakes pressed down on him, and he knew he had lost something irreplaceable.

One day, unable to stay silent any longer, Sukuna approached Y/N as she was leaving an art exhibit.

"Y/N," he called, his voice rough with emotion.

She turned, surprised to see him. "Sukuna, what are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you," he said, struggling to find the right words. "I see now how much I messed up. I took you for granted, and I'm sorry."

Y/N looked at him, her eyes kind but resolute. "Sukuna, I loved you. But you were right—you can't change, and I do deserve better."

Sukuna's heart ached at her words, knowing they were true. "I know. And I'm glad you're finding happiness, even if it's not with me."

With that, Y/N nodded, a sense of closure settling over her. She watched as Sukuna walked away, feeling a mix of sorrow and peace.

Y/N's relationship with Satoru continued to flourish. He was attentive, loving, and always made her feel valued. With him, she found the emotional connection she had craved.

In the end, Y/N realized that sometimes, letting go was the only way to find true happiness. And while Sukuna would always be a part of her past, she looked forward to a brighter future with Gojo by her side.

ఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌఌ

Thank you for your request (*^‿^*) maybe I’ll have a new way to gain motivation to finish some of these short stories now lol. Hope you enjoyed the story ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

[hannahbarberra162]

You Can't Fix Fix A Broken Heart Chapter 9

18+ MDNI

Now on Ao3 All chapters

Things only get spicier from here.

TW: dubcon, manipulation, mentions of past abuse, yanderes being yandere. check the tags

Chapter 9

Marco POV

Things had been going according to plan, until they weren’t. Marco figured that there was some kind of injury on your back, but he figured it was a shallow scar or maybe even a tattoo you didn’t like. He didn’t anticipate this.

The majority of your back, from the shoulder blades all the way down, was covered in thick, red, raised scar tissue. There was some kind of jolly roger, but the brand they had used on you was obviously too large - maybe meant for marking crates. The distorted figure was a grotesque mockery of a pirate flag. On top of the roger, there were more recent whip marks. Whoever had done them had meant to cause deliberate scarification on your body. He was already thinking of how to find the Marines who had harmed you. Regrettably, all the pirates were already dead. But the Marines were likely still alive, at least until he found them. He’d plan everything with Ace - the man could be creative when inspiration struck him.

It was painful to look at your back, he couldn’t imagine what it had felt like on the receiving end. No wonder you didn’t want them looking at or touching it. Even with the scar tissue, you were still responsive to touches on your back. Marco didn’t think you were ruined - he didn’t even think of it as an imperfection. It was a painful part of your past, and he could heal you from the physical pain. He said he would help you. And he would. Even if you didn’t agree with his methods.

He touched your cheek gently, gave you another quick kiss, then handed you back your shirt. 

“Come. I need you in the infirmary today. We’ll continue our conversation later yoi”

You nodded and followed him out the door meekly, face flushed and lips swollen from kissing. You looked so tantalizing, all he wanted to do was toss you back on the bed and fuck you until your tight pussy couldn’t take any more. But unfortunately, there was real work to be done. 

You tried to trail behind him, but he stopped and took your hand in his. You weakly tried to pull it away until he gave you a stern look. You immediately stopped pulling and walked hand in hand with him. What a sweet little thing you were - just the prospect of his displeasure was enough to have you compliant. He was looking forward to seeing if you obeyed the new rules. He hoped you would - but he also hoped you wouldn’t…

He entered the infirmary with you, and Tate gave him a questioning look. He didn’t say anything but smiled broadly. He purposely let the information out that you were with him slip to Tate-  he knew the rumor mill would start circulating the news. He wanted everyone to know you were off limits to the rest of the crew -a warning they should heed if they valued their lives. 

You did fix the autoclave as the infirmary came to life with the morning rush. Afterwards, you looked sleepy, closing your eyes slowly. He had woken you up, after all. “Y/N, you look tired yoi. Go to exam room 2 and lie down please.” He would throw you a bone this time - but after this nap, you wouldn’t be so lucky.  You bit your lip nervously but got up and went to the designated room. You didn’t shut the door all the way, and he knew the morning sun would be streaming in through the windows at this hour. That should be enough for now.

Besides, he needed time to meet with Thatch and Ace to discuss his plans. Ace was already aware of some of the situation after peeping on the two of you last night. But he had much more in store for you, and he wanted his brothers on the same page. 

Y/N POV

You woke up with a start, like always. But when you woke up, you were confused about where you were. You looked around and the memories of the night flooded back to you. You couldn’t believe you’d actually fallen asleep on the infirmary cot. You were nervous that if you slept in the corner or in the closet, Marco would see it as betrayal. So, you laid down on the bed and tried to relax. Your mind was swirling with the events of the night, you didn’t know what to think. But your body overrode your mind and you passed out for a blissfully dream free nap.

Exam room 2 was across the hall from Marco’s office, so when you started moving around making some noise, he poked his head in. 

“Y/N, please join us in my office yoi. We have a lot to discuss.” You got up, straightened the bed and cautiously made your way across the hall. Entering Marco’s office, you saw he was leaning against his desk, with Thatch and Ace in the room as well. It felt like a trial, and you were the accused. 

“Y/N, sit down.” Marco gestured to the small couch against the wall. You sat, anxiously fidgeting and waiting for Marco to tell you what was going on, pinching your fingers all the while. Ace and Thatch were looking at you sternly, adding to the tension in the room.

Marco crossed his arms and began. “I have informed my brothers of your actions, and we are all disappointed in your lack of trust. However, we have some faith that you could potentially reverse this situation if you behave yourself. Do you remember the conversation we had last night?”

You nodded your head. 

“Answer verbally, yoi.”

“Yes, I remember,” you said faintly.

“Then you remember agreeing to let us take care of you since you are not able to do so yourself? Or, did you lie about that too?”

“N-no, Marco, I didn’t lie.” Marco was unforgiving, staring down at you while using his harsh words. You were trembling slightly, unsure where the conversation was headed. 

Marco nodded, unfolded his arms and put his palms on his desk. “Then here is what you will need to do for you to remain on this ship. You will follow the rules we set for you yoi. Your physical, mental, and emotional health is poor. We believe this has contributed to some of your issues on board. It needs to be addressed. Starting with - you are no longer allowed to sleep alone yoi.”

You looked up at him, surprised. That was not the direction you thought this would go in. Marco continued, “you will need to sleep with either myself, Thatch or Ace during the night yoi. You may not sleep on the floor, sitting up, or hidden away. You must sleep in a bed next to one of us."

You were at a loss for words, which Marco took as an opportunity to continue. “You have not taken care of your physical health sufficiently. This morning you will have a check up with me, during which we will confront some of your medical issues that you have been ignoring yoi. Furthermore, you will dine with Thatch at every meal to ensure you are getting enough nutrition. Do you understand?”

“Y-yes, Marco.”

“You are overworking yourself. You will adhere to a schedule, including rest times during which you may do no work.”

“B-but what if someone needs-”

“I don’t think you’re in any position to argue yoi.  There will be more rules later, but that’s enough for now.”

You quickly shut your mouth. You looked over to Thatch and Ace, hoping for a kind face looking back at you. But they were not relenting either. You would agree to just about anything in that moment, to get this to end. Marco seemed to be waiting for you to say something.

“Alright. I understand. W-what happens if I break one of the rules?” you asked apprehensively.

“You will be punished.”

Your face drained of color when Marco said ‘punished.’ You’d been punished before and it always ended with your blood on the floor. Marco saw your rising panic, and crossed the room to sit next to you on the couch. He patted his lap, indicating he wanted you to sit on it. You were unsure - wasn’t that for kids? But you haltingly got up and sat yourself on his lap. 

He pulled you close to his chest and said “this is all for your benefit yoi. We want to see you happy and healthy. Can’t you see that these rules are to help you? You can’t move forward with your life with us unless you move past some of what happened. We will never beat you or torment you. We only want what’s best for you.” 

“I u-understand.”

“Show me that you do.”

He leaned into you, putting his face close to yours. He wanted you to initiate kissing him - in front of the other two? Hesitantly, you put your small hands on his shoulders and pressed your lips to his. After this small movement, Marco took over, controlling the kiss. You whimpered into his mouth as he bit your lip gently and deepened the kiss. You were getting lost in the moment, when Marco pulled back. 

“I know you can be sweet for me, but can you be sweet for Thatch and Ace yoi?” 

Your face flamed. You’d had sexual experiences of course, but nothing like this. This was intense and confusing and emotional. You wanted to do what Marco said, but didn’t know how to continue.

“Go on, show them.”

With his help you got off of Marco’s lap on wobbly legs and made your way to Thatch. Once you were standing in front of him, he picked you up and set you on the edge of Marco’s desk. He gently opened your thighs so he could stand between them, closer to you. He smiled at you kindly and put his hand on your nape and gently held your neck. He pulled his face in closer and slowly ghosted his lips on yours. He teased you, never fully giving you what you wanted. You were panting, your eyes half closed, trying to get more of something, anything, when he finally pulled you in for a full kiss. You sighed in relief when he stopped teasing you.

The kiss was different from Marco’s, less demanding and more romantic. You wound your arms around his neck to gather him closer to you. You were really enjoying the slow pace - you felt like a little treasure. After a few minutes, Thatch pulled away with a regretful look on his face, still looking you in the eyes. “Ace,” he said, still looking at you, “you’re up.”

“Fuckin’ finally!”

Ace got up from where he had been lounging on an office chair and threw his cowboy hat aside. He was practically radiating excitement. Thatch receded, and Ace came to stand between your legs where he had been. Ace was unusually warm, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Unlike Thatch, whose kiss had been slow and sensual, Ace dove right in. He leaned forward, causing you to lean backwards until you were laying on the desk with your legs dangling off. He leaned down over you as well, resting on his forearms. “Best for last, huh?” he said as he turned your head with one hand and started kissing your neck. After being kissed so thoroughly already, this was just fuel to the fire. You couldn’t help yourself and you started panting louder as Ace continued.

“Those sounds you make are drivin’ me crazy,” Ace said as he finally kissed your lips. It was intense and passionate, making you feel like you had been set ablaze. As he was kissing, one of his hands started to make its way up your shirt. He cupped your breast and started groping, growing ever bolder. He pinched your nipple, which made you gasp.

“Alright, get off my desk,” Marco said testily, now standing near the two of you. “You’re messing up my paperwork. You can have more fun later. We all have things to do.”

“Spoilsport,” Ace said with a pout. He was still leaning over you on the desk but righted himself with a sigh after a final kiss. He gave you a hand to help you lift you off the desk. Grabbing his hat from where he threw it, he put it on, smiled at you and said “later, toots,” as he walked out the door. Thatch was sitting on the sofa with a huge bulge in his pants, looking frustrated. “I’ve gotta go too,” he said “if anyone on the ship wants lunch today. But I’ll see you tonight - you’re sleeping with me,” he said with a wink. He left the room and you watched him leave.

What had you gotten yourself into?

[averageclawcodeenjoyer]

Analyzing things in ATSV part one

Okay so I have to be absolutely insane about Ganke for a bit, so this will probably take up several posts because screenshots/videos galore.... ermmmmm....

HAVE FUN (will edit and update as needed)

I'm going to start off by analyzing this piece of concept art

Taking a look at Ganke's tapestry on his wall, that absolutely looks like the CS:GO logo, just flipped and without the text. Ex:

Taking a look at more things on the walls as well:

1) who is doing this math. Is it Ganke? Is it Miles? Is it both of them? I like to think that is is Ganke writing things down and then coming back to them later, or, maybe Miles writes things down and Ganke corrects them/adds stuff.

2) I'm pretty sure that says deadly twins. Is this a game? Movie? A play on words? Makes me think of seven deadly sins, but I'm not too knowledgeable in the world of entertainment.

3) (not the jet) is this a schedule? Lunch schedule, perhaps? It's on the bulletin board in the final cut of their dorm as well, just redesigned. Has to be something school event related. It says "Spring 2023 Brooklyn ________ Academy." I can't make out the middle word.

4) I just like the little spider included in the drawing :3 Miles FOSHO draws all over the whiteboard all the time. I love it.

5) I love love LOVE the stickers he put on the drawers, and I'm guessing there also from video games, but again, not good with logos. If anyone knows though please tell me and I will put it on here.

6) I think it's neat that they have a poster of a bunch of cassette tapes on the door. That was definitely Miles's doing, as well as the record player that i found in there (it's his way of honoring Aaron.)

7) Peep the No Expectations drawing on Miles's side of the bunk. I love the little Easter eggs all over. This is so special to me. Makes me think of the Chekhov's gun principal that they did with the Spider in ITSV and are continuing in Across.

8) Ohhhhh so he's a soccer guy. I wonder if he likes the sport, players, or had played it himself. Maybe that's why he got buff, bit I doubt it (BRING ME BACK LOSER NERD CHUB GANKE)

9) Taking a look at the photographs that Ganke has and comparing them to what I could find in the final product. Ganke has a camera on his desk, so obviously he takes all of these himself, but we will get to that later.

10) This looks like a picture of himself to me. Self portrait. Look at that blurred out smile. It's either him, or one of his parents, but I'm guessing it's of himself. Did someone take that for him, or did he take it? Maybe it was Miles.

11) might again be a stretch, but it looks almost like two people leaning against each other. Headcanon that Ganke is just like Lilo and takes pictures of random people interacting for funsies (reminds me of them Gwen & Miles leaned on each other on the building but I have HIGH doubts it is that)

12) ..Again, just bullshitting here. But this reminds me of the scene from ITSV where Gwen and Miles first were introduced to each other. Could he totally off, but there were a lot of kids in the background that resembled and could have been Ganke. Who knows what that kid does in his free time. (I bet he has a lot of photos of Miles that he doesn't know about...)

13) i don't have any idea of what this could be but uhh.... we're open to discussion. Train???

14) Looks like a party. A school dance perhaps? Winter formal? Homecoming? Something. Reminds me of the Prom scene in Gwen's universe.

___

I absolutely love all the stuff they have in their dorm room for food. Those sillies!! Look at them! Eating dinner together! Fully equipped! Who owns this shit! Banking on Ganke owning most of it because like... just look at his fucking setup.

15) Here's that record player I was talking about!!!! I wonder if it's a brand new one of something Miles got when they went through Aaron's stuff after he died...

16) Coffee machine even though Ganke drinks like 7 energy drinks a day (this boys' coffee addiction is.... wow. Also personally I feel like Miles wouldn't really be too fond of coffee. Imagine if the caffeine messed with his venom strike and caused him to chock everything and himself a billion times lmao)

17) what is this???? Is this some kind of like.... portable burner, or something?????? So they can boil water/use a pan??????? If anybody knows it would be GREATLY appreciated.

18) We've seen the air fryer/rice cooker with googly eyes and I love that... oh, I bet that was Miles's doing. Maybe as a prank or a joke to mess with Ganke and they kept it. There's so much personality here.

19) ignoring the condiments for a moment- THEY AHVE A MINIFRIDGE???? DO THEY EVER NEED TO LEAVE THEIR DORM, ACTUALLY????? It almost looks like it has sparkling/seltzer water in it but.. gross. They really decked this place out, huh.

20) and in ITSV there's a microwave too. Everything to fuel Ganke's crippling chronically online illness.

21) SPRAY CANS!!!! Oh how wonderful. These are hidden/scattered throughout their finished dorm, too. I love that. I wonder if Ganke and Miles ever become delinquents and go off to graffiti stuff. (However, I don't see Ganke as being very artistic when it comes to things like that, so maybe he just tags along with Miles and acts as lookout.

22) FIDGET spinner!!!!!!! Oh boy. Oh boy. I know that these were a big thing a couple years back, but please consider... Audhd Ganke.... thank you.

23) is this an alarm clock? Radio???? Why do they need another source for music when they have like... three.. seperate ways.... okay.

24) You cannot convince me that this isn't Yoda. Or at least a similar character.. but I'm banking on Yoda. WHY DID THEY CHANGE SO MUCH STUFF THERE WAS SO MUCH PERSONALITY HEREEEEEEER

25) look at this slanted ass bowl. This supports something I will talk about later, but keep him in mind.

26) SKATEBOARD! Does Ganke skateboard??? Oh man. Oh boy. It's Canon because I said so. Skateboary Ganke!! You think he goes somewhere with Miles just to show off the tricks that he knows. I do. It's also his because it's leaning on his bed and there is a pretty clear separation of whose side of the room is whose.

27) Here is laptop #1

28) BIGASS speakers they deafen EVERYONE when they start playing music.

29) HIS FUCKING PC??? BROTHER, WHY DOES HE HAVE THAT EXPENSIVE ASS PIECE OF EQUIPMENT IN HIS DORM ROOM. WHAT DOES HE HAVE AT HOME?????? Bros got eh curved screen and everyrhing. Also is he making MUSIC. Ganke in his producer era (what genre do you think he makes?) Also, not pictured, but he has a Webcam, too. StreamerGanke....

30) HERES THAT CAMERA I MENTUONED EARLIER!!!! He has hobbies other than gaming like... photographing Miles.. and......... taking.. pictures of Miles..

31) is this some kind of console, maybe? We see him playing the Spider-Man 2 game, which is playable on both PC and Playstation, but I'm pretty sure it's confirmed that Ganke is, in fact, playing it on his ps5 (do not quote me on this that is what Google has told me...)

32) his professional-ass microphone.... pray that nobody ever finds out the kind of LOOT you have, Lee, or you will be robbed blind. (Not sure if this is still kept in the finished version, I'll have to check) ((also the stuff on his bulletin board? Brother.... broski you live with him.. you don't need to have him beside you on the daily))

33) This looks like an IPad to me, but I could br wrong. Also, he's watching Miles on it!!! COME ON. I know Spider-Man is his favorite superhero and all.. but come on, this is "person-who-has-crush-behavior" and I don't think that's too wild of me to say...

34) look at him with his little soundboard!! In the final version it ends up looking more like a keyboard than what it does right now, but he obviously makes music on the side as well. He's so dear to me.

35) This little drawer pulls out on his desk!! Where he stops his billionth keyboard and mouse. (In another angle of their dorm, in ITSV, their is a random unused keyboard propped up against the wall)

36) ANOTHER FUCKING LAPTOP. Bro has one for his games, one for school, one for talking to his online friends, and one for coding stg /hyperbolic

37) Here is the console for his computer. Simply that. Just astounding to me.

___

Just look at how much mire comfortable they are with each other now versus ITSV!!!!!! Good friends, good match, good sillies. The only thing I DONT like is the inconsistencies of the room... but perhaps they got a different dorm room this year and still chose to bed down together. Historians will just call them best friends.. rommates... anything but lovers.

Oh you thought I was done?

No.

No, I have one more thing to say.

One more tiny, tiny detail I fished out while studying their room.

Are you ready?

In the concept art.

Underneath Ganke's desk.

Is a bag.

And what's on that bag?

Some pins.

Oh but what's that?

That yellow one??

Is that the intersex flag?

Is that another game logo that I'm too uncultured to understand, is that just a coincidence, or, is Ganke intersex?

I don't know enough about people that are intersex to get into it, but.. Has anybody else noticed this?

I can't find it in the finished version... but. But guys. Guys.

Please tell me your thoughts on this.

I'm going to analyze that scene in ITSV with the hyperlapse of Miles sleeping and Ganke.. dicking off all night next. Might not be tomorrow but it will happen.

Edit:

I gave Ganke longer hair because he looks bald without it. THATS ALL BYE

Part 1.5

[rougepearl]

Chapter 2: Down

❝𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙡𝙮 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣. 𝙎𝙤 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮?❞

Obsessive Behavior, Manipulation, Dark Content, Alcohol Usage, Mentions of Drug Usage, House Parties, Unhealthy Relationships, Out of Character, Kissing, Sadism, Blood mentions, Cunninglingus, Breathplay, Psychological, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Wordcount: 6,575

You still remember that night so vividly.

Sleeping into his arms, hugging him close. While he kept humming a soft tune into your ear until you fell asleep.

It feels like only ever since that one night it seems you've only gotten closer to Nikolai.

It's only been about three weeks since then. A month or so if you count the past.

Yet all the time it was an outing. To museums, on walks around the parks, cafes together, running each other's errands together.

It was to the point that the nicknames that he would have for you would start to come out. Small nicknames like dove, sweet, dear… It's almost like…’No it couldn't be’

At first a few times you were uncomfortable with it at first, but you eventually have gotten used to it.

He had gotten so close to you that you forgot what your main problem was. Your tragic life tale. Disappearing, no whereabouts and no callbacks from your friend’s.

The only time you would remember this, was when you would go to the police station or to a private office with a detective who was trying to solve the mystery.

But it wasn't like he’d call you in frequently anymore. Now that he had a hold of your phone number he would give a call or text wondering to confirm something on your end.

And usually these times would happen when you would be around Nikolai as well. The last time you can recall, you were at a diner with him in the close outskirts of the city.

Although it was considered rude to pick up a phone whilst you were eating, you had to. And excuse yourself outside.

But Nikolai… He would soon come outside just a few seconds later.

Pulling a cigarette from the inside of his nice jacket and lighting it, standing right beside you.

Not too close. But close enough to give himself some amount to hear in and eavesdrop quite a bit.

Or would sometimes peep over your shoulder trying to read the messages. It was obvious at times. But later he would be more sneaky with it, then ask you about it later throughout the day.

But it's not like it was that important.

He would always be there for you.

To ask you if you’ve been alright.

If you needed anything he would give it to you.

Always wanting to give his sweater to you

His idea of showing love was mainly gift giving and affection. Oh he would love to hug you, carry you, would just want you near him.

After almost every outing, if his place was closer, Nikolai would insist on you just staying there instead of walking back to yours.

And you would, as his place did look nicer, more cleaner, and more welcoming than yours. Though there have been times where he has been to yours.

But while his place was very spacious.

It did take some more time to clean around.

To figure and find out where he was at, whenever he would call you over to him.

So this time, the mentions of wanting to get a pet were concerning to you.

While you knew exactly what for, you still played dumb. In an attempt to refuse.

As you knew it wasn't for his benefit at all, but much rather for your own.

“Nikolai…Why would we need a dog?”

He points his finger at you, while he still has that playful persona around

“I think a dog will suit you for times when I can't be around you.”

You're left standing there fiddling with your hands. Pressing your lips together, trying to think of something.

He notices this look on your face quickly, and instantly runs happily to you from across the lounge room,

“Don't worry, I can buy all the stuff for our pet. I just want you to be safe, that is all…”

He comes closer, and trips you into his arms, causing a small squeak to be let out.

Embracing you, while holding you tight. Looking up at him, he looks down at you.

There it was again

That sly smile he makes right before you finally cave in.

“I guess you're right…”

Instantly he lets go of you, and immediately runs to the chair beside him, grabbing his coat.

As he continues to walk in big strides, he continues to search for his belongings quickly before leaving.

“Right! Now let's go!” “W-What! Now?”

He turns around to look at you again, throwing his sweater in your direction, falling onto the floor before you can catch it. “Yes, now. Better sooner than later!.”

Once heading outside, you had purposely forgotten to grab a beanie to find a way to go back and not go.

Tugging on his arm slightly trying to stop his steps.

“Oops! Guess it's a sign we…shouldn't… go…”

But it seems like Nikolai had brought one for you.

He was always prepared with things for you. No matter the occasion.

Putting the beanie on frustrated, continuing to walk down to this local pet shop that was nearby, you still tried to set your foot on the ground trying to tell him there is no point in really getting a pet.

It's not like you were in grand danger all the time.

“I'm telling you Nikolai, I can protect myself on my own. I don't need anything else.”

“You're really gonna try to change my mind after we’ve been walking for over ten minutes already?”

He was right about that.

Walking all the way over here, to not get anything.

But still… Should you- No.

But- No, no, no.

What's the whole point?!

Now that you’ve lost contact with some old people, there really wasn't any more dangerous people to worry about.

Not unless-

Unless he was trying to refer to someone else you’ve introduced him to… He keeps looking at you for a moment with knotted brows and a smug look.

Long enough you start to get uncomfortable with it.

His chest puffs big and he sighs for a second, letting the air from his mouth create a small fog. “Fine, but at least a small one. Just so you can have company.”

He grabs both your hands close to him, bringing you closer. “Would you do that for me?”

You realize no matter how much you protest he'll still insist on his idea

Releasing the tension from your chest, you relax your shoulders and finally have him let go of your hands.

“…Fine, you win.”

He grabs a hold of your hand again and instantly his energy is back up.

“Splendid! Let's go!” Dragging you along with him as he opens the door to the store.

It was already late, and it's all Nikolais fault.

If only he hadn't seen the birds, bunnies, and fishes in their own cages, we would've probably left way earlier.

He went on a whole monologue at the store with you. Over you calling their cages to be their “natural habitat of being here.”

Mentioning the words “bliss is ignorance” or something along those lines…

But finally after hours of trying to decide which animal to adopt, you had landed your eyes on a small little puppy dog.

Curled little golden blonde locks.

Big black eyes that just scream dearly sweet.

And you couldn’t forget the floppy big ears that would wobble everytime it walked.

“Oh you're just so cute!” You pitch your voice high, nudging your nose against the little dog’s nose.

Nikolai, who's opening the door to his place, turns around confused at your remark.

“Hm? Oh, the dog.”

But you don't pay attention to a word Nikolai says, as you are too focused on the adorable face this puppy has.

Too busy with your new little dog,

Ducking and walking under his arm as he holds the door, you proceed to hold it carefully in your arms, almost rocking it like a baby.

He walks in after you and stretches his upper torso as he closes the door and heads over to the sofa.

Where the bright lonely stars barely shine but show slightly across the sky.

He lays down on it. With an arm over his head, covering his eyes.

Groaning in pain, it was obvious that he wasn't feeling well.

“Why did I do it… Why…”

”Why?”

“Why?”

”Why?”

He's been acting weird lately… No, not even lately…

It seems like he's had something from being able to clear his mind but has only grown to show it further.

He continues to repeat it over and over. You catch on eventually and look over to him.

He looked stressed. Something was definitely bothering him on the inside.

”Nikolai…are you okay?”

You utter at him, still holding the dog in your hands.

Holding it close in your arms, you walk over to where Nikolai was at, sitting right beside him watching him.

Placing the dog down, it hurries to run around the area. Lapping around in circles and bumping into many things.

You place your hand on his arm that is resting above his face, ”Is everything okay?”

“Hm… Yeah just- just tired about something.”

“...While you were gone that other day.”

Right, you forget that he probably has a job too. Except one that you knew nothing about.

He never really speaks about it. Matter of fact, he ignores your questions that mention anything to do with what he does for a living.

His past? Where does he have all this money from? His whereabouts when he leaves at night on some days.

No matter how sly you can be, he always manages to find a way to change the topic.

He moves his hand away, instantly looking up at you with his eyes, softly.

A smile shows upon his face, a subtle yet great one.

“Be a good doll, could ya’ bring me the keys to my car, please.”

Nodding and getting up from the sofa, you begin to walk around.

Slowly stopping in your tracks as you remembered.

“Uhm… Where do you keep them?”

“Drawers in the front of the living room.” He says, as he lays his head back down onto the soft pillow.

Head turning to the side.

Eyeing you as you go to retrieve his keys.

Opening every drawer. Starting off with finding a lot of stacked books.

Then note taking paper. A few black pens here and there.

Polaroid photos that have white opaque tape covering the picture.

While he couldn't see from his angle, you tried taking one of them off but it seemed like he sealed it somehow.

Coming to the last four drawers on the other side. Finding more strange stuff that he possesses.

Strangest being a torn hat…

Closing the drawer you place your hand on one of the others, trying to budge it open.

Realizing the drawer is hard to open.

Before you can try to force it open again, Nikolai, who sees this, immediately gets up.

“Don't open that one!” He rushes over and places his hand over it, causing you to be startled…

“W-What?”

‘Quick… Come up with something’

”I'm, I’m- hiding a gift for you.” Getting rid of his hands off the handles, he grabs your shoulders and makes you walk away from there, almost tripping you in the process.

“It's a big box, so it makes it harder to open. Sorry for ruining the surprise doll.”

You look at him and back down to the drawer.

Wondering if he's really telling the truth or if it was another lie of his

You realize this is the first time he’s ever panicked too.

Usually it was his smug facade. So this had caught you off guard as well.

“…It's okay.”

You slowly back away, feeling a bit guilty if what he was saying was true.

But could it be…

Something that important that he doesn't want you to see?

Of course, it only filled your curiosity more.

He lowly bends down a bit and grabs the running dog, picking it up in his arms.

“Here.” He opens the bottom drawer beneath the one you were going to grab; Where his keys were.

Handing them to you as he continues to hold the dog in his left arm. “Go find something to feed it. I’ll be staying here making something to eat.”

”Are you sure? I was planning on staying home today to clean.” Nervously speaking, you suggest that he doesn't do anything. Much rather to just relax and chill around.

Since you'll be leaving either way.

“Don't worry. I also wanted to ask if you wanted to tag along with me to a friends gathering just upstairs either way. “

“-Upstairs?” Confused, your voice pitches a bit higher at the shock of what he had just said. Pointing your finger to the floor. “I thought this was the highest ground!?”

He eyes you up and down for a second, before getting closer to you. This feeling- Allowing you to pet the dog.

Your focus is on it instead of Nikolai.

A blank expression can be seen on your face, he sees this and tries to uplift your mood again.

“Ya’ know, there's more above to there is below.” He smirks, you press your lips together as there's a possibility that what he's trying to say was exactly what you were thinking of…

”So?”

He approaches closer, to the point where his whole body is nudging against you.

Holding the dog close to your face. As he mocks the big eyes and sad frown it was making, pleading you.

Looking back and forth at the two faces,

“…I guess so, I don't have any plans…”

He clasps his hands together, a smile grows on his face again.

“Wonderful! Alright then, go find something for it and I'll stay here cleaning, then we can leave!”

You keep a hold of the dog while you grab your coat, trying to place it around your shoulders.

“Got that.”

Alongside grabbing his keys from the counter where they were laying now.

Just before you can leave he stops you for a brief moment.

A bit annoyed at what he has to say now, resulting in tapping your foot slightly up and down…

He gestures his hand to his eye as he winks, allowing himself to let his other side take over.

“Take your time, dear!”

___________

“Are you sure it'll be alright?” Turning to Nikolai, as you grab your small jacket that he had got you last week, wrapping it around yourself.

“It's already midnight dear, look, it's asleep. I'll have someone come by and take care of it for the night either way. They live a few floors down.” He says as he reassures you by holding your shoulders.

“Nothing will happen, come on now.”

Upon arriving, you notice another drastic change in scenery.

The seating around was more luxurious, but still dismissive in color.

Different people in abnormal conditions. Leaning off walls, bumping into places.

It was way different than the ones Nikolai hosted. Not the kind you'd go to.

“Uhm, Nikolai…”

Facing him, he hums in response.

“You said it was a gathering, not a fucking house party with strippers and everything all over the place.” You smack him with your little purse.

He lets a small “ow” out, while rubbing his arm a bit as he shrugs. “Still a gathering.”

”Why ya’ mad one of these will take my attention off ya’ doll?”

Ignoring his small talk, crossing your arms, you look ahead at the ‘club-like’ scene.

He realizes now how wrong he felt lying to you, he doesn't like to see you unhappy, it'll make him feel that way too.

”Just a little while, it won't be long alright.” He says as he tugs on your arm.

It took a while.

Letting a big sigh out, as you follow right behind.

Immediately walking further inside, you start to notice the stares that some people seem to give you.

You hold onto Nikolai’s arm, as you both continue to walk wherever he was dragging you.

Hoping it would bring some comfort at least.

But it only seems to draw more attention.

‘Does everyone here know him or something?’

Double takes to look at you.

But what caught a glimpse of you. Were a few groups of older women around Nikolais' age who were murmuring stuff.

Eyes widening every now and then.

Did they know him too…?

Seeing that the place is mostly crowded with men, you assume they're Nikolai’s friends.

And that maybe the small group of older women were their flings or wives.

You feel a grab on your arm tugging you upwards, instantly straightening up.

“Actually nevermind, let's go over here.” Nikolai walks to where a group of men seem to be playing a card game...

But with… other things alongside

“Is that who I think it is?” Turning around and seeing an old man fix his shirt before standing up and pulling Nikolai into a big hug.

“Haven't seen this one in a while.” He grabs him by the side, showing him off to the other guys around. This feels familiar

“Alright now, ‘just felt like I needed to make a comeback.” Nikolai shakes his hands in front of him, causing the others around to laugh while holding their cups.

Causing big spills to occur.

One of the men saw you hiding behind him, leaning to the side a bit calling out for you. “Want one big pal?” A rolled paper with a substance falling off.

“I'm…good thanks-”

Awkwardly and shy, you feel another hand on your shoulder. Causing you to jump a little

A more feminine voice is heard from the right side of the ear

“Hey dear, come over here won't you?”

Nikolai turns around and laughs at the sight “Don't be scared doll, that's just Nastasya. An old accomplice…”

He giggles as he proceeds to take a sip of a perse like drink that he had just received.

Clenching it with his hands, soon slamming it on the counter.

He begins to laugh like a maniac completely lost in his mind.

You turn back around only to see the woman's faint smile again

Before she asks if she can take you away for just a second.

”Go ahead… Don't worry Y/n, you can trust her.”

Letting her take you wherever, he waves his hand at you before you can be dragged away again.

You're seated at a small table with her.

No chairs, just sitting on the floor.

The music continues to play. She places an arm on the table whilst the other pulls a cigarette from her coat's pocket. Carefully placing it in her mouth.

“Ay! Light me over here.” She raises her hand, yelling loudly as a tall man in all black comes forwards and places the lighter right on the cigarette.

She coughs a bit before deciding to place it on the side of his lips, giving herself a chance to talk to you. ”So… How’d ya’ do it?”

Her voice can be heard as harsh, raspy. Like she's been sick lately. “Uh… How’d I do what?”

“Oh dear, you know what I mean.” She speaks as she places her hand on top of yours.

“How did you get him to talk to ya’? “

Her jaw can be seen moving from side to side as she tries to hide it, puffing air out every now and then from her cigarette.

”Uhm, I'm sorry miss- but- I really have no clue what youre talking about.”

This was uncomfortable. Pressing your lips together, she comes in closer to your face.

“You look like you could try going numb for once.” She jolts her head up a bit. Smelling the faint scent of tobacco on her lips.

‘That makes sense now’

Is this why Nikolai throws his weekly hostings?

Could he be trying to numb something? Certain feelings? Guilt…?

Regardless, he's always a mess afterwards…

Contemplating for a bit, you start to wonder what it would feel like ”...Should I?”

“The party only gets fun when you're in your own cloud~”

After hours have gone by,

It seemed like her relationship with him was that they were close friends. Like from when they were teens of kids… just something.

She did mention stuff regarding his pasts in childhood moments.

Only after getting on a rush with her and a few others.

Her rants about him though… only left you wondering so many more things?

Where did he get all this money?

What did he do in his earlier life?

Why was he here in this city now?

But you couldn't feel the need to ask anymore questions. Your lips felt too heavy. Swollen even.

Every inch of your face felt like it had fallen asleep, A static going on inside your body.

Not an ounce of consciousness in your mind.

It felt as if you could jump and be as if you weren't on gravity.

Almost like if you were a balloon floating high up in the skies.

While it felt amazing, there were some parts you didn't like.

Such as the trembling cold that kept eating you up.

How strong your throat felt. The fizzling in the back.

The sharpness in your nostrils. Feeling the urge to sneeze every second.

The ‘good but chilling’ spine shivering goosebumps that came along with it.

It all was too much.

But now you understand why. Why-

Cheering was heard from the other side of the main room. Causing everyone to stop for a minute and turn their heads.

This brought you back down, attaining your awareness again.

Realizing where you were, again.

”You know, you're quite young too…” Your attention is drawn back to Nastasya for quite a second.

“So you never told me how you both met?” You completely ignore her though.

Still looking over at Nikolai as he grabs something from a drawer, placing it directly in the middle of where he was at with his fellows around.

Seems like they were about to play some sort of dangerous game but… no.

The drawer

No- you almost forgot.

“I- Uhm- I forgot to … do something actually.”

“Oh, no problem dear.!” She stands up with you. Except her body facing the other direction

“If ya’ need anything you know where to find me”

You thanked her enough, dismissing her while you still could.

Looking around trying to see where Nikolai had gone, you couldn't see him around.

He didn't seem to be anywhere in your field of view, so you grabbed your jacket, went ahead and exited the place.

Immediately heading back over to his place.

“-Oh my God!”

Right…You were still heavily intoxicated.

It felt so weird. You needed to rest amongst some place or lean against the door frame.

Slouching onto the couch, resting your arms and legs.

You turned sideways onto the pillow. Trying to take a minute of all of this in.

“Wait!”

Almost forgetting why you came back, you open your eyes again.

Getting up in a hurry, going back to the drawers from earlier.

What could he be trying to hide from you…?

In an attempt to budge it open again, you sigh of defeat upon noticing it didn't even move an inch.

Until you can hear a small ‘Clink!’

Before realizing what that meant.

It was locked.

God, if only you knew a piece of his mind

Where could he have placed that key?

Heading to the kitchen drawers, you slide them open. Scavenging through them, finding nothing.

Then proceeding through the other different rooms in hope you'd find something.

To your surprise you did find a lot of odd items. Such as needles, yarn, a bunch of ripped up and crumbled pieces of paper.

A handwritten journal that was in another language.

But not what you were looking for.

Lastly you had gone to the top shelf near the books he had, getting onto your tippy toes to reach your fingers inside the small space.

You can feel…small scraps of paper… And- of like a metal, but was big and heavy.

Next to it was, something cold

That feels small like a-

A key!

Sliding it off the shelf, having it drop to the floor.

Picking it up and then going back to the original drawer.

“C’mon this better work…” Muttering, as you slowly turn the key. Hearing the small clasp noise from inside the lock.

Eyes gleam with joy, a smile on your face.

Hands on the handle, other on the drawer to pull it out.

A creaking noise, as it opens slowly. Hearing the scraping sounds.

Finding a bunch of random shit again.

Taking out a flashlight along with other junk, searching for something in that drawer.

Excited to find… nothing.

Nothing but a clear box that caught your attention for a bit… You grab it and bring it closer to inspect the contents inside.

Hairpins, a button…

Little some collectives

Was this his gift?

Or did he hide it whilst he was cleaning…

If it really was just this, why didn't he want me to see in the first place? “Hm, guess it did work.”

Frozen, upon hearing that voice, you stopped what you were doing. Your mind races fast to the point your eyes just hold their gaze.

Swearing you felt your heart drop to your stomach.

Turning your head over whilst the small box in your hands drops back inside the drawer.

Hearing the small clash of the items inside.

“Nikolai!… When did- you get back?” A nervous tone in your voice can be heard.

He leans on the thick doorway, as he picks his nails before facing to look at you again.

”Quite a while ago… Now, why did you come back?”

”I- I left my purse in here, I needed it!”

“Liar.”

He laughs at your words. Holding onto his stomach. “You're such a bad liar.”

Watching the grip around his shirt grow more as he continues in a hysterical manner

Smiling mischievously at you, he steps closer.

His hand hiding from his back finally being revealed.

There it was, your purse. Right in his hand,

”I knew you’d be back, so I hid it.”

Frustrated with his humorous tone, you yell at him out of distress. Causing you to come back to your senses for a bit from before. “…Hide what?”

Just upon saying that, his smile stops for a second, Eyes widening as if he remembered something.

Something is up with him… There's definitely something wrong.

He’s hiding something way deeper than that.

You knew it, but didn't want to actually think if it was true.

“You're full of shit.” Both you and him were not thinking straight of this whole situation

You run up the stairs to his room, not looking back. But you can hear his voice and footsteps right behind you.

Forgetting to lock the door, you turn back around and face him close once again.

“You have something going on…” Your chest felt heavy. “You- You-...”

“I have no idea what you're saying.” A faux expressive look on his face, as he remains standing close. Not moving any further back.

He grabs hold of your shoulders. Making you sit on the edge of the bed.

Sighing, with his head down, he takes a few deep breaths before speaking again. ”...If you really wish to leave whatever this is, then you can go ahead.”

He comes closer, grabbing your chin softly with his hand. “These fun times we've had together will be the end.”

You try to resist his touch, but he manages to get your hand away from him either way.

He continues to whisper close to your ear. Dangerously close.

”But we both know you wont leave, because you don't want to.”

He presses himself against yourself. Feeling him through his pants.

Your heartbeat began to go faster than it already did. His teeth were just inches away from your neck.

You bet he could probably feel your own beat too.

No, no, hear it.

His eyes are still looking into yours.

Mouth agape, unable to process a word in your own head. He took this to an advantage.

With his hand on your chin bringing you closer, slowly.

Resting his lips near yours, before he finally brings himself to let go.

He's gentle, tender, and soft with you. Pushing his body closer to yours, causing you to tumble across the mattress.

Lips parting for just a mere second.

Hand caressing the hair out of your face. Bringing himself to lean over you, pressing his arms on the side of your body.

Without any warning he grabbed your face again with both his hands and instantly pressed his lips against yours. This time roughly.

Kissing you hungry, with almost all the desire in his body.

Unexpectedly and rushed.

Was this being rushed?

Regardless, you wrapped your arms around his neck. Breaking the kiss, he pulled himself up to take his shirt off.

But before you could take your top off, his hands came over yours.

As he gave you a menacing look

You let go of your shirt, and place your hands to the side, as he took off your own clothes.

Button by button,

layer by layer.

Throwing them onto the floor.

You felt bare.

The cold air kept touching softly against your naked skin.

You had tried to cover your upper body with your arms. But Nikolai had other plans in mind.

”Fuck, youre so pretty.” He said as he started to kiss you again.

Except this time, only bringing his lips lower.

Down to your neck.

He began to swirl his tongue in circles on the side. Causing you to breathe heavily under his touch.

His teeth slightly scrape the edges of your skin, before he finally latches himself onto you.

Leaving many but very minor hickeys all around.

Peppering with small kisses afterwards.

”N-NIkolai!”

He hears you, but he doesn't stop.

Instead it only drives him further.

His tongue licks down your chest, to your torso.

This all feels too much

Until he gets to the lower part of your body.

“Take it off f’me dove.” His voice, stern yet breathy.

You slowly drag your hands closer to the button of your skirt, pulling the zipper on the side down.

As he proceeds to take it off of you.

He sees the small wet spot on your panties of your leaking wetness. Cooing at the sight. “Aw, look at this.”

He says as he grabs your chin, squeezing your lips together harshly, not allowing you to speak but rather make a squeal.

“All for me.”

He lowers himself to your lower body again. Pulling your panties to the side, bringing his mouth closer.

Again, kissing and preparing you for himself. His licks, going softly against your clit.

He sucks on it, making you more hot inside.

His hand on your hip holding you down, preventing you from squirming all over the place. Whilst the other he uses to stroke his dick lazily, as he gets more pumped up. “Ah~ P-please…”

“~Please what?” He says as he looks at you from below, his eyes piercing straight at you. His scar, showing slightly.

“Use your words dove.”

“You know what I-Im saying-…” His voice cuts yours off, shutting you up while you continue to breathlessly moan.

“I bet no one has ever touched you like this before… Oh yeah? What were ya’ saying?”

“Please, just f’fuck me.”

Feeling a smile creep on his lips, his tongue on your clit stops.

Bringing himself up, he lets go of the belt, letting himself show to you.

You can see the outline, it's throbbing hard. He’s hard.

“As you wish.”

He comes closer, aligning himself within your entrance.

His body leaning on top of yours, you can see the heavy breathing within his chest.

Without warning, he thrusts himself into you. Immediately covering your mouth with both your hands and turning your face to the side.

He sees this and brings himself closer to your face.

His cock deep inside of you, not moving. Yet here you were, panting over the large stretch and burning sensation it was beginning to feel.

“Don't hold back, I wanna hear all of you.” He pulls your hands away from your mouth forcefully.

He speaks lowly ���Ready?”

You begin to smell the liquor on his lips, mixed with his usual scent of dark cherries.

Like the smell of autumn-winter.

But chose to ignore it.

”Mhm.”

He lets out a small ‘Kay’ before he begins to start to move again. Going in and out of your cunt slowly at first.

You let out a few small whimpers at first, just before you scream his name.

You're squeezing him hard, he can feel it.

You feel him.

He was addicted to you.

“-gh God. I can't help myself, I'm sorry… dove.”

Long before you knew it, he was pumping himself into you faster.

He brings his lips to yours again, slamming himself onto you. Kissing you roughly, as his hips move along inside of you.

His grip on your hip is deep. Feeling like a small bruise is slowly forming.

Your moans are constantly being muffled by his aggressiveness on your lips.

Everytime you gasp for air, he immediately brings himself onto you again. His free hand in your hair, messing it up. Tangling it, playing with it, tugging on it.

Soon enough he makes your legs go from his waist to his shoulders.

Allowing himself more access to you.

He’s hitting your spot with every thrust he makes. Eyes closed in the process “Mmph… N-Nikolai! Mph!~”

He's finally gone undone, this is what he's been wanting to do since forever.

Just as he continues to go on a rapid and beastly speed, he brings his teeth to your lips. Biting on them.

Causing a small trail of blood to start to flow down your chin. He brings his awaiting tongue and trails forward to it.

“Agh~ Nikolai… Too much!”

His face close to yours again, as he opens his eyes, looking at you with both of his eyes. As small beads of sweat drop from his forehead.

”Fucking- Shut up.”

He says before he lets go of your hips, placing both his hands on your throat.

Making sure to give you small moments of times when he’ll release you then grab you again like his doll. “A-Augh-“

He looks straight into your eyes, not breaking contact. All whilst you feel the small knotted bead in your stomach start to grow.

Nikolai feels this, as his thrusting becomes more vastly paced.

He can feel you sucking him whole. The way your pretty cunt takes him so well.

Tears begin to form, falling down your cheek to the side of your hairline..

He brings his tongue close.

Licking the side of your cheeks, closing in near your ear.

“Come- Come for me.” He says, whispering with breathy tones in his voice.

Instantly feel a rush of ecstasy overcome you.

You finally feel the knotted bead inside, start to deform.

Your eyes rolling back, moaning loudly over and over again. Repeating Nikolai’s name, crying from both eyes.

His thrust continues, going slower with each one.

He groans at feeling your juices on his throbbing dick, causing him to release inside of you.

Feeling the hot warm liquid ooze inside, it feels weird, off, strange, yet so amazing.

He remains inside of you for a second, before he collapses on top of you. His hands roaming your body, bringing you close to him.

You're left panting, head resting on the mattress.

As you close your eyes, you feel his hand in your hair.

Caressing your hand.

Whispering things like “You did so good”

“You felt amazing- No, you sounded amazing…”

Finally after minutes of being there with you.

He brings himself to pull out of you, hearing the small squelching noises as he slowly takes his dick out of your cunt.

He rests for a bit before he gets up, standing there. Seeing yourself laid across his bed like a mess.

Especially the way his seed continued to leak out of you.

A sight to behold for him.

He continues on, and eventually leaves the bedroom for a second. Closing the door behind him

Lifting your head up in confusion, you ask where he's off too.

Yet he doesn't respond, and instead leaves you alone for a few minutes.

You bring your body to the side, allowing yourself to look on the other side of his room.

The window is closed. And you don't see a clock around the walls.

No alarm, no clock, nothing. But it's dark, the room is dark. And there was not a single ray of natural light coming from that window.

How late was it by now?

Hearing the door open, you turn back around and see Nikolai dressed in loose dark blue pajamas. “-Im back”

“Here, and follow me.”

He has a towel in his hands, you stand up and he gently wraps it around your body.

Before he grabs your hand up high and brings you with him downstairs. Taking you to the bathroom.

Upon opening the door, you see the bathtub ready, filled with water.

“I'll be cleaning upstairs, come up when you're done.”

He presses a soft kiss on your cheek. Walking away and leaving, closing the door behind him.

You bring your hand to the towels stacked in the cabinet. They’re warm

He just took them out of the dryer. Or maybe placed them in there for a few minutes while he was gone.

Unrobing yourself, you step inside the tub. Closing your eyes for just a second.

Allowing yourself to fully feel the warm bliss of the water against your skin.

It's been roughly around 8 minutes already, you wonder how Nikolai is doing.

All you can think about is how you'll wake up tomorrow morning. How bad your head might hurt tomorrow…

Opening your eyes again, you look ahead and see the small wooden tray filled with all your favorite snacks.

Such as chocolate, sweets, cold water, etc..- Wait

What is that…?

Sitting there for a minute just staring at the said object.

Slowly fixing your posture up, splashing the water around just a bit.

You bring your hand over to the small shampoo bottle on the tray.

Bringing it closer to you, turning the bottle around.

No expression on your face, just a blank one.

But inside you felt a gust of wind just breeze over you…

This was the same one you use.

Regardless, you open the cap off. taking a big whiff of the strawberry scent.

Really taking a deep breath at the same time.

Trying to relax your body back in the tub.

But no matter how much you tried, you just couldn’t.

You stare off into the distance of the bathtub, still holding the small bottle in your hands.

Seeing your reflection in the tall mirror that was standing there…

Your wet hair tips, naked body, everything frozen in time.

Really having deep thoughts about what might be happening. Mind spiraling in a sense of realization.

Dots connecting one by one.

Could I really be a hundred percent…

I didn't want to think about it, but I’m scared I might be right…

Was this… the start of true colors finally showing?

[night-lie]

so while i was making this gif for my deathnotetober entry for "chess" i noticed something... weird. i mentioned it in the tags but i can't not elaborate.

do you see it too? the side closest to us has TWELVE squares. that's not a standard grid size. there are EIGHT squares going in the other direction, which IS standard.

"surely that can't be right," i said.

well. buckle up.

here’s a quick edit with a neon green outline for the edge of the board and the vertical row that's easiest to count. it really is that size. can this be anything but an error?

EDIT: just for clarity, here's another sc with brightened colors so you can see that the surface in the gap between his face and shoulders is the floor, not the board.

what if the animators were just copying what obata drew? i went to find the corresponding scene in the manga. volume 11, chapter 90.

6x6. not a chessboard size, but heaps more normal than the anime one, even without half of the squares colored in. (they are colored in the color version of the manga.)

the board has some... noneuclidean properties, though.

these are from the same page. on the right it still looks like 6x6 at least from the horizontal row i can see, but the left seems much bigger to me. or maybe i'm starting to lose it?

the board makes another appearance in chapter 93 with this being the best angle of it. unfortunately it's impossible to say how far behind the speech bubble the grid extends.

it's also difficult to count how many squares the rows we do see are. the third row from the left with misa looks like it 7 squares? because why the hell not.

it shows up one last time in chapter 94, after which near stops using it. probably got tired of it changing sizes.

let's check for more apperances in the anime, since we've looked at episode 33 already.

episode 34 and it's. it's freaking 6x6 like in the manga!

the noneuclidean properties strike again. peep the blue arrow pointing to another white square. the row is at least 7 squares.

LUCKILY the board makes no futher appeances after this. the 12x8 scene has not been fixed in ReLight 2.

*deep breath*

so. we've established it's not a chess board, or if it is, there's an error with it. (i'm not gonna blame animators who probably had someone breathing down their neck to work faster. errors happen. obata drew it wrong originally, too, if it's supposed to be a chess board).

but i'm still not fully satisfied. is there anything this could be, diagetically?

my best guess, a checkers board (though i suppose the wammy's kids would call it a draughts board). i have a reason for that, other than the 8x8 boards being interchangeable between the two games.

this quick moment of near knocking down the kira legos with a cork gun.

both in the in the manga and anime he fires two shots BUT it looks like the cork bounces from kira to x-kira, knocking them over. with one move, near knocks over two figurines.

this is called jumping. you've probably seen a cartoon where someone comically jumps over all of someone else's pieces and cinches the win. i would have put a gif of that here but i couldn't remember any.

checkers is often seen as a more juvenile version of chess, like how near is younger than L. L plays chess, near plays checkers. checkers is the "easier" game. it's not a fair comparison, though. they use the same base concept, they have pawns and a king (/queen, depending on language), but the differences are too big to really claim they're the same.

just like L and near.

checkers is, in fact, older than chess. they played a variation of checkers in ur. freaking UR. ancient mesopotamia. 3000 BC. a variation of chess can be tracked back to only the seventh century. that's AD. did you know that?? i wouldn't have if i didn't look it up.

so, now i just need to find a variation of checkers with a 12x8 grid on the board from the wikipedia list. be right back. shouldn't take long.

*genuenly, a two hour long rabbit hole later*

so. bad news.

there's no 12x8 board. there's ARE 12x12 boards which is great, but not what i was after. there's only ONE variant with an uneven grid, a 6x4, in a game called tobit. it looks like this.

...i give up.

post cancelled. thanks for reading.

i'm gonna go mahjong.