#I can't believe it's take me this long to compile a masterlist

[justalittleobsessed]

🧡 A Little Fanfic for You... Or My Fic Masterlist ✍️

Fandoms: Merlin, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (all iterations)

Total Fic Count: 31

Main Fic RN: When the Thunder and Lightning Comes (I Know That You'll Be by My Side)

All fics can be found on AO3!

*Last updated October of 2024!

Merlin:

How to Reveal Your Magic Because You Have No Sense Of Self Preservation Whatsoever: A Guide By Merlin Emrys

A series of unrelated one-shots and short stories about Merlin revealing his magic because both he and all his friends are idiots. Also, Merlin, for the life of him, has no sense of self-preservation at all and I try to embody that in these fics.

Series info as of November 2023:

Not completed

10 works (listed below)

Best + Bitter = Better (one-shot, 2,637 words, part 1 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

This was actually happening. They were being serious. They were actually being completely, utterly serious.

“You can’t actually believe this.” He gestured wildly to the group of people in front of them. Well, as best as he could tied up. This was one of the most ridiculous things he had ever heard. This was… this was… he didn’t even know. “This is complete bullshit.”

“Emrys was clear in his instructions. You must be sacrificed in order to bring peace to Albion”

OR

The one where Merlin has had enough of everyone's shit.

Ironically Alive (one-shot, 3,139 words, part 2 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

Gwaine smiled that way he does when he wants to tick Arthur off. So really, it was his normal smile. “Seemed like a perfectly reasonable detail to point out.” He flipped his hair to the side, turning to face Arthur.

“Perfectly reasonable?!”

Behind Merlin, he heard some of the bandits shifting, whispering to one another. He was pretty sure it went along the lines of ‘what in the hell is going on’ and ‘there can’t actually be that many mysterious magical druids with blue cloaks that talk about destiny and give out magical red amulets to help stop enchantments that one sorcerer meets’, which, unfortunately, was sad and accurately true.

OR

Merlin is never relaxing ever again. He was going to make sure of that after this shit.

Pick Your Poison (Literally) (one-shot, 2,469 words, part 3 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

So. That… just happened. Leon, in his lifetime, had witnessed many strange, unbelievable, and frankly quite concerning things. When one lived in Camelot, and was friends with both Arthur and Merlin, one usually got into a lot of crazy and unbelievable situations. And Leon was no exception.

But this. This had to take the cake. “Merlin.”

He hummed in response. It was entirely too calm. “Why did you just drink poison?” Fire, no literal fire and chaos reigned around them.

“It seemed like the reasonable thing to do at the time.”

And yet, he found himself not surprised in the slightest.

Leon pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the oncoming headache behind his eyes. Goddamn fucking stubborn idiot.

OR

Merlin decides poisoning himself is the best way to prove a point. Leon is just tired. So tired.

Caves and Valleys and Magic, Oh My! (one-shot, 2,603 words, part 4 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

Merlin stepped back. He was… appalled. Shocked. Angry. Slightly hungry. MAD. Who did they think they were?!

“Excuse me?!” Arthur screeched. “Merlin has magic?!”

“Yes.” Leon deadpanned. “Now please, Merlin.”

How did he get here? How did this happen to him? Why was his life like this? He just wanted to be in his nice warm bed and instead he was soaked, stuck in a magical cave, and made to listen to his friends reveal all his secrets.

Right. Sounded about accurate.

OR

Merlin just wants to be home. Unfortunately, it seems like everyone else his different ideas. Typical.

Let's Do the Time Warp (Hopefully Not Again) (two-shot, 9,946 words, part 5 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

“Merlin, mate. He’s not lying. I wish you two were married. I, for one, would be your best man, obviously.”

"Poetry," Leon mumbled behind him, "Goddamned poetry."

Merlin gave him another startled look-voice rising in distress. “You were my best man!”

Oh, how thoughtful. Too bad he doesn't remember.

Gwaine gave him a thumbs up. "Okay."

OR

Gwaine is generally confused about everything that is going on. Merlin, on the other hand, just wants to go back to his NORMAL, totally STRESS-FREE life. Hahaha.

Just Another Tuesday (one-shot, 3,104 words, part 6 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

Arthur… really didn’t understand what was happening here. Look, he was generally confused by Merlin most of the time - the man was a riddle wrapped in an enigma with a side of sass to boot. But this was too much, even by his manservant’s standards.

“No. I refuse to believe this. You,” He pointed at the woman, who had just been walking on water, and then to Merlin, who had just kissed the lady who was walking on water, “and you are not married.”

Merlin and Freya held out their hands. Rings that formed out of water moved onto their previously empty ring fingers.

“Oh,” Merlin said, like an ass, “I think we are.”

OR

Arthur just wants to be in bed. It seems the entire world is against that idea.

Today Has Been Like... Torture (one-shot, 2,299 words, part 7 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

“Wait a minute… Do you have a pit of fire?”

The shack they were in was very small. Very cramped, and very much smelling of blood. They both looked around the room as if a pit of fire would suddenly appear. Merlin hoped a pit of fire would suddenly appear. That would make getting kidnapped on a Sunday worth it.

Murder Man looked at the ground sadly. “No.” His voice was quiet, sad. So disappointing. A pit of fire would’ve really spiced things up.

OR

Merlin is positively bored. Sounds like a great time to get tortured, of course.

Call It Like It Is (one-shot, 2,900 words, part 8 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

“How do you…” Arthur wiggles his fingers, like he’s teaching magic to a five-year-old, “conjure the fire?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Merlin starts, because what the fuck else does he have to do, and Lancelot just looks at him with that stupid look he always does when Merlin’s about to say something particularly stupid- “I call it forth from the deepest pits of hell.”

OR

Everyone may know about Merlin's magic, but nobody knows what he's actually capable of. Merlin decides that this is a great advantage when your boyfriend is an idiot.

To Be a God (one-shot, 2,419 words, part 9 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

“Bow before me,” The sorcerer announces from his perch atop a pile of rubble, “for I am the Mighty Emrys, and I am a god.” It’s not a very mighty perch for someone who claims to be a god. In fact, it’s a very sad, unremarkable perch. Or maybe he’s just a sad, unremarkable man.

“No, I’m Emrys.” Merlin bites back.

“Maybe… we’re all Emrys.” Gwaine breathes out. Gwaine, Merlin thinks, really needs to shut his mouth.

OR

The one where someone claims to be Emrys, and Merlin decides to put him in his place.

Just a Minor Accident (one-shot, 2,431 words, part 10 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

“I’m sorry... I must’ve misheard you. What the hell did you just say?” This can’t be real. This cannot possibly be real. He must be hallucinating. Hearing things. Maybe he’s finally lost it. That would make more sense than this.

Gwaine grins back at him with a somewhat manic smile. Merlin tries to sink deeper into his bed. “I said that we accidentally raised the dead.” No. He heard right.

OR

The Knights raise the dead. Merlin just wants one full night of sleep, please.

The Once and Future Reign (one-shot, 7,034 words, part 1 of In Another Time series)

It started with Merlin. It always starts with Merlin.

Just One Yesterday (chapter story w/ 4 chapters, 24,076 words, on hiatus)

Merlin had waited a long, long, long time for the return of Arthur. Maybe even the knights or Gwen. What he wasn't prepared for was an ancient evil rising up to destroy the world. He certainly wasn't prepared for six new occupants in his house, who had no idea how to navigate the new world around them. But, he could handle it. After all, he was the most powerful being on the planet. How hard could it be?

Auribus Teneo Lupum (chapter story w/ 1 chapter, 5,691 words, on hiatus)

Morgana had unleashed something onto this world that had shaken Merlin to his core. Something cold and dark and not at all right. It swirled and settled inside of him, mocking his magic.

No matter what happened in the next few days, Merlin knew that nothing would ever be the same.

The Remnants of a Warlock (one-shot, 6,588 words)

Merlin sees everybody he has ever held close to his heart die off one by one. But he always moves on. He has to. So he locks it up and keep moving, because that's what he does. It's what he'll always do.

OR

The one where Merlin watches as all his friends die. He might see them live, too.

TMNT:

Move Along

Mikey's got this bad habit of dying, and his brothers got this bad habit of not liking that. Mikey would appreciate it if his brothers would stop caring so much, and his brothers would appreciate it if he could start caring about it a whole lot more.

It's gonna be a wild ride.

Series info as of November 2023:

Not completed

2 works (listed below)

I Get Knocked Down (But I Get Up Again) (chapter story w/ 50 chapters, 131,830 words, completed)

Mikey lives, and Mikey dies. He’s been doing it for years, and yeah, sure it’s not his favorite thing to do, but it’s whatever. It’s nothing to worry about. He’s not worried about it. He just hopes his brothers never find out, ‘cause he has a feeling that they’d way overreact.

OR

Mikey’s died a bunch of times and is totally Okay™ with this. His brothers? Not so much.

When the Thunder and Lightning Comes (I Know That You'll Be by My Side) (chapter story w/ 18 chapters, 50,102 words, updates frequently, side story to main fic)

Mikey lives, and Mikey dies. His brothers live too, although they don't die, and find it very concerning that Mikey continuously and worryingly continues to do so without caring. They'll get Mikey to understand that maybe that's not all that great... as soon as they figure out what's going on, that is.

OR

Mikey keeps dying. His brothers would greatly appreciate it if he would stop doing that, please.

On Some Days (one-shot, 2,431 words, TMNT - All Media Types)

Sometimes, if he listened closely enough, he could hear their voices. Not often, not often enough, but sometimes.

It's too Quiet. He misses the Loud.

Life Could Be a Dream (chapter story w/ 9 chapters, 35,678 words, TMNT 2003, TMNT 2012, TMNT IDW, completed)

"Hey Raphie..."

"And that's another thing," he adds, narrowing his eyes, "since when do you call me Raphie?"

Since forever. He wants to say. But that was before, and this is now. He thinks he might kinda hate now.

OR

Mikey, being Mikey, finds trouble. It's just that this trouble seems to involve him being human. It also seems to involve him not talking to his brothers, or having a dad, or being a ninja. So there's that. But all those things can be fixed, right? Something's telling him it's not gonna be as easy as it sounds.

Awaiting Your Arrival (With Simple Survival) (one-shot, 3,481 words, TMNT 2012)

Michelangelo runs into Dimension X with a goal in mind and an unwavering faith that his family will follow right behind him. Except Dimension X screws up that from the very beginning. And keeps continuing to screw up. Again, and again, and again.

OR

Mikey learns how to survive.

Whumptober 2023

Michelangelo-centric whumptober fics!

Series info:

Completed

11 works (listed below)

If Only the World Could Stop Spinning (one-shot, 2,019 words, part 1 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

Denial Only Gets You So Far (one-shot, 1,569 words, part 2 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

All That Burning (one-shot, 1,058 words, part 3 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT 2012)

Just a Flesh Wound (one-shot, 3,301 words, part 4 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

Under Pressure (one-shot, 2,965 words, part 5 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

A Survivor's Guilt (one-shot, 833 words, part 6 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - The Last Ronin)

Don't Go Silent on Me (one-shot, 2,846 words, part 7 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

Actions Have Consequences (one-shot, 3,524 words, part 8 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT 2003)

Something Old, Something Treasured (one-shot, 3,517 words, part 9 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT 2003)

Broken Promises (one-shot, 2,228 words, part 10 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - The Last Ronin)

Not the Best of Days (one-shot, 3,926 words, part 11 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

Whumptober 2024

More Michelangelo-centric whumptober fics!

Series info:

In progress

1 work (listed below)

Just Out of Time (one-shot, 771 words, part 1 of Whumptober 2024, TMNT 2018)

[iceunhie]

— phaethetically in love !

premise. belle thinks her brother is the most oblivious person in sixth street. the reason? one: because his (super obvious) crush on you is practically the worst kept secret in new eridu, and two: because he can't even see that said crush is reciprocated! good thing he has one (1) amazing, wonderful, nosy sister to help him out, yeah?

or, belle thinks the two of you are a prime example of an s tier romance movie; and she really wants to skip to the final arc already.

pairing. wise x gn!reader.

warnings: kinda ooc wise (i just started the game), wise is a loser (lovingly), belle is an instigator (proudly), comedy, facepalm moments.

a/n: for @vxnuslogy and @milksnake-tea bc yes wise kissers yes

MY (rlly cool btw 🥺) MASTERLIST || INBOX !

“you're in love with [name], aren't you?”

like all siblings in the world—or what's left of it, belle schemes.

(against wise, of course. obviously.)

her brother bursts into a mess immediately, nearly spilling his cup ramen all over his new shirt, chopsticks sticking out. laughing nervously. general chop would not be proud. “who told you that? i mean— haha, who said that, belle?”

his sister rolls her eyes. “me, myself. i.” she emphasizes, leaning her elbows against the table and putting her palms together; the grin she wears right now is so serene, but not in the angelic, nice way. belle smiles and wise finally thinks, oh. my sister may need to book herself to the closest self-help guru in new eridu.

“i have reason to believe that you, my dearest brother, are in love with [name].”

her voice goes up an octave at the last bit, leading wise to stuff her mouth with potato chips. already, heads have turned. “mff.”

“keep your voice down! and stop broadcasting it to everyone here-”

“what, i am right, aren't i? they clearly like you back, so why haven't you confessed yet?”

“keep. your. voice. down.” wise says, and belle's shit eating grin only widens as she sees her brother's ears tinged with pink. “and... how did you even know that?” he asks, mortified.

“well, one: because it's obvious—like, have you seen how obvious you are?” belle huffs, taking a bite of the potato chip with force (personal grudges are involved). “and two, because they like you back, dummy!”

because when belle sees the two of you together, it's like wise focuses on no one else. you are the center of his world—and he is just being pulled to bask in your light. his eyes soften like they melt only for you, and wise looks like all he is is, all he wants to be, is to belong with you.

(and, wise likes to stare at you for ungodly amounts of time. belle even caught him staring when you were petting a cat by the street and decided to name the stray ‘wise’; courtesy of him, apparently. the cat literally just had grey fur.

“wise.”

“hm?”

“you're practically spawning heart eyes now.”)

it's sickening. (in a oh my god my brother is in love kind of way, mind you.)

“so!” belle says, a devilish sparkle in her eyes. “allow your dearest sister to help you out, 'kay?”

wise nearly coughs up blood.

“what?!”

so at present, belle compiles her (hastily written) list of romantic moments you and wise have shared. she's not surprised—the number can be counted on one hand. diabolical, disappointing, world-ending! she resists the urge to cough up blood.

first, a coff cafe date with tin man's help: a fail. tin man's wingman capabilities were very superb, but she never heard the end of it when wise was lecturing her about how tin man kept sending over heart shaped desserts and little fortune cookies. the fortune cookies in question which said ‘you can do it!’ and a latte with art of caricature tin man making a heart. (you were very confused). belle thought it was motivating. wise thought it was mortifying.

next, even instilling help from fairy to calculate statistics about what event would you two be likely to be together. fairy said, and belle quotes: “probably never. that kind of pining's for the long run, with the other master's current experience. give it a year or six, master.”

so, she's currently face-palming.

did her brother really have zero game? why were the two of you just dancing around each other?! she's tried everything—from letting you two spend more time with each other in commissions, her inviting you over more to leave you to chat with her brother, and even the entirety of sixth street has lent their aid! how were you two not dating yet?!

“didn't they go on an arcade date at random play yesterday?” belle mutters. “that should've increased your progress by a long mile, bro! even general chop said you two were really, really close in the noodle shop....”

just what was she going to do now? at this rate, her brother would be relationshipless in no time! in fairy's words again, it would be phaethetic. and that would be a phaethal blow on her pride.

“...master, i said no such thing.”

“well, now you did.”

“The Ethereal Reckoning,” there's a pep in your step, the boxes full of movie DVDs in your arms as you walk back to the movie store. it was heavy, but at least you got to walk with the grey-haired proxy beside you. “That movie was great! Thanks for recommending it to me.”

Sporting a dopey, lovesick grin in response, wise nods at that, content to listen to your voice. it was actually belle's idea to let you lend movies you like over so the two of you could talk about it back and forth. wise would need to (begrudgingly) treat her to a bowl of ramen later on.... she saved him—he probably wouldn't even be talking to you for this long at this point, let alone hang out with you without her. for someone so nosy, he guesses his sister was a pretty good wingwoman.

“the main character was pretty similar to billy, you know?” you ramble on as wise listens. “i mean, because they were an android too, and...”

he finds that he's content to listen to anything you say, really. (right now he doesn't really know what you're saying, something about a horror ethereal movie, but you could just tell him anything and he would listen).

“i feel like the heroine's death was unnecessary, though.” you sigh, “too much tension just for it to end like that? how anticlimactic.”

your voice was so nice, so warm and easy to listen to, and wise can't even say anything to retort, simply staring with a growing (lovesick) smile on his face. talking to people was hard work, and talking to you? it might just make him combust.

“...ise? wise?”

“ah, huh?” he snaps out of his trance, only to find you mere inches away from his face, the only thing keeping you apart the boxes full of movies he's carrying. “...!”

“are you listening?” you furrow, and someone really might be out to get him right now because in that moment, wise flinches from the proximity, bumping into you.

then, because the universe thinks his life couldn't get more dramatic than it already was—you stagger, about to fall forward.

he moves before he thinks. “watch out!”

and wise.... practically astral-projects to another plane when he feels you fall into his arms, his hands on your waist. he can feel the warmth of your skin on his, the flustered look on your face. (he feels like he's going to die).

the two of you lock eyes for a moment, and wise feels like he's about to so something very stupid and his hands are still on your waist—

“....”

“.....”

someone save him.

“ah...”

“sorry!” you recover first, hurriedly letting yourself pull away from him (much to his disappointment). “i wasn't looking, and i- are you okay, wise?”

“no, no, it's fine.... i-i'm fine....” he hopes his voice isn't as small as it is, he couldn't be smooth to save his life; and wise helps you gather your bearings, his hands brushing against yours, blood rushing to his ears. sheepishly rubbing at his nape. “sorry, i was distracted.”

perhaps in the mood to lift the atmosphere, you sputter out, “no worries! it's fine! besides, you listened to me all this time.... i really enjoyed the movie, really.”

“of course i'll listen.” and before wise can think to stop his traitor of a mouth, the words spill out of his lips like it always wanted to be.

“you're worth paying attention to.”

it's automatic—your face heats up, warming like the sun on a hot day in new eridu, and god, he is such an idiot-

“you think so?” wise gulps. you looked bashful, and were way too adorable right now, and his face felt like it was on fire.... wait, that's not the point! he has to answer you, at least. this is a chance to make progress!

“y-yeah. definitely. i enjoyed... watching the movie with you.” he says. did his voice just crack just now? “we can hang out more often too, even without belle.”

he feels bad for throwing his sister under the bus like that, but—wait, did he just ask you out on a date? (accidentally)

well, it didn't matter because wise feels like he won the lottery right now, because you brighten up immediately. “really?”

then you cough and compose yourself. “i mean, sure! i'm sure it'll be fun, haha...”

awkward silence ensues. uh oh, did he say something wrong? was he too forward? he wants to say something, but something is lodged in his throat, and wise can't bring up a response. (his heart was beating like crazy right now, though).

“uh...”

“....”

then, something soft brushes against the side of his cheek. as fast as it was felt, wise felt the sensation leave just as easily. did you just-?

you just kissed him. on the cheek.

“thanks for hanging out with me, wise.”

“you're welcome- wha- huh?!” he nearly drops the stack of dvd's he was holding. you pull away, an enigmatic smile on your face. face flushed.

before he can even respond, the two of you finally arrive at the movie store. damn it, gods of the world. why did his luck run out now?

“i guess this is your stop.” he blinks, your voice coming back to him. “and, wise?”

“ah, uh, yeah?”

“it's a date, then?” your eyes sparkle and shine a light through his heart. super effective!

is this really happening? is he really going on a date with you—oh, he's so thrilled he could actually burst into song and kick his feet, but belle would tease him ruthlessly after. nosy sisters were so much work....

“yes!” he almost yells it out, but because he didn't want to look uncool in front of you, wise composes himself. play it cool, play it cool. don't mess up this chance! “yes, definitely. it's... it's a date.”

you put down the other stack of dvd's down the table, flashing him a dizzying, lovely smile smile. wise swears he falls even harder for you.

“then it's a date.”

BONUS.

“seriously?! you're going on a date with them?!” belle shouts, so unceremoniously that wise slaps a hand on her mouth.

“not so loud! but, yeah.” he says, face heating up. “your plan worked, sis.”

“yes! yes! finally!” his sister practically cheers, “i can finally be free of your sickening heart eyes... and finally, our street's most anticipated couple is here!”

wise can't help but sigh in fond exasperation. he guesses he'll let her have this one today.

“also, belle?”

“what?”

“you didn't tell anyone about this, did you?”

...

“uhh....”

(on the day of the date, wise receives an abnormal amount of good luck posters. he also gets a disturbing amount of thumbs up from the neighbors.

the last straw? tin man, giving him a baked cake with the words ‘rooting for you!’ covered in pink heart sprinkles.

he facepalms. belle...!)

a/n: d d do you guys get it..... phaethetically...... phaethon..... wise is phaethon and he's awkward in love lol hahahahaha (💀)

@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.

[harrysfolklore]

love on tour memories - blurb

goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. you were bigger than the whole sky 😢 here’s a compilation of love on tour memories, some blurbs are new and some were already posted, i hope you like this trip down memory lane

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

september 4th, 2021 - las vegas, nevada

Feather boas, pink hats and colorful flags all around could only mean one thing.

Harry Styles was finally back on tour.

After a long two year wait, Love On Tour was finally hitting the road, with the first stop being the iconic Las Vegas, Nevada.

You were beyond ecstatic to say the least, being on the road with Harry was your favorite thing to do, and you knew how much he wanted to finally be doing his favorite thing in the world again.

You were roaming around backstage looking for your boyfriend, already wearing your custom red dress that would match Harry's outfit for the night.

"Love! You look stunning," Lambert's voice made you turn your head, "That dress fits you perfectly just like I knew it would." You blushed as you walked together towards where Harry was getting ready with his bandmates in a few minutes.

"You're too nice, Lamby," you smiled at him, "Is he going shirtless like I asked? I couldn't be with him while he was getting ready."

"He is, darling. He said your wish was his command."

You rolled your eyes with affection; and as if on cue, Harry entered the room exuding an aura of confidence and excitement.

He was dying to get on stage.

"Hey, love," he approached you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. "Can you believe it? We're finally here."

You looked at him fondly, your eyes giving away how proud and excited you felt at the moment, "We're finally here," you repeated, "This is going to be the best tour ever."

Harry pressed a quick peck to your lips before turning his attention to the rest of his bandmates, who were gathered in the room.

"Alright, everyone," Harry announced, his voice full of enthusiasm. "This is it, the first night of Love On Tour," Jeff, who just entered the room with the rest of Harry's managers, let out a whistle in excitement. "Let's make it one to remember."

The band hugged quickly before walking down the corridor that would take them to the stage.

You walked by Harry's side, holding his hand and realizing how much you missed the tour life.

"Good luck kiss?" Harry turned to you as you reached what would be his 'soft goods' box for the next months.

"Wouldn't turn it down for the world." You smiled and connected your lips, and just like that he was off to the stage inside a storage box.

For the next two hours, Harry and his bandmates poured their hearts on stage for the first time in two years, and by the end of the night, everyone had the same thought in their minds.

This was going to be a tour to remember.

october 30th, 2021 - new york

Outside of Madison Square Garden, fans were lining up dressed in their costumes of all kind, excited to be part of Harry's fancy dress party to celebrate Halloween.

However, backstage at the arena you were was growing increasingly curious and impatient about Harry's costume choice, since everyone refused to tell you about it.

"I can't take it anymore!" You said, your eyes darting between everyone in the room. "Somebody, please tell me what Harry's going dressed as!"

Jeff chuckled, entertained by your growing desperation to know. "Oh, YN, you're in for a treat. Harry's going all out, you're going to be gagged"

"Come on, you have to give me something!" Your eyes traveled to Lambert, hoping he would crack up and tell you what you desperately wanted to know.

"Nope, and don't give me those eyes. Sue strictly told us to keep it as a surprise."

You rolled your eyes before standing up and walking towards the door. "Well, I guess I'll try to bribe him with a blowie again.

Everyone in the room laughed at your words, and before you could even reach Harry's dressing room you were intercepted by Harry's assistant Luis, who told you that he instructed him to keep you out of the room until he was ready.

You got into your own costume for the night, a fairy dress with wings and a crown, you put extra effort in your makeup adding glitter and some gem stones.

You heard two knocks to your door followed by Jeff's voice "YN, you ready? Harry is and he wants to see you."

"God, why is he being so dramatic about his costume," you opened the door as you spoke and once you were met with Jeff and his costume, you couldn't help but burst out laughing, "Who are you supposed to be?"

"Miss Anna Wintour, the Toms are going like this too," he shrugged and walked towards Harry's dressing room, you following behind, "Come on now, your annoying boyfriend is waiting for you."

"You ready love?" you heard Harry's voice from the other side of the door, not opening yet.

"Come on just come out already! I need to see you!"

And after a few more seconds of mystery, he finally opened the door and you were met with his blue dress and bright red shoes.

He was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.

"Harry! This is- you look amazing!"

"Really? You like it?" he put his hands on his waist and tilt his head before giving a twirl and making you laugh.

"I love it, but I have one concern, tho."

"And that would be?" he looked at you questioningly.

"That skirt is too short! You're going to flash your bits to everyone!"

"Well, my love," he grabbed the hem of his dress, pulling it up, "That is what the bloomers are for!"

june 18th, 2022 - london, uk

"How do you feel, mate?" Jeff asked Harry as they stood together on the wings of the stage, Mitski was just done with her set and Harry was already on his outfit for the show, minutes away from hitting the stage.

"It's a weird feeling somehow," Harry turned his gaze to his manager and best friend, "I never thought I was going to ever be able to fill this place on my own, you know?"

"And here we are, two sold out shows!" Jeff threw his fist in the air as a sign of celebration and both of them laughed, side hugging as they kept admiring the crowd.

"Are you guys having a sappy sentimental moment without me?" they tuned their heads towards the voice called for them, that belonged to you.

"I was just about to leave, actually, I have to check everything's running smoothly before this one hits the stage," Jeff ruffled Harry's hair for a moment, "You lovebirds enjoy your pre-concert shag, see you out there!"

You and Harry rolled your eyes and shook your heads, all the times you got caught doing your shenanigans before the shows resulting in a constant teasing from your friends.

"So, how do you feel, rockstar?" you asked, getting closer to him and wrapping your arms around his waist.

"You know, Jeff just asked the same thing."

"Okay, no talking, straight to the pre-concert shag I guess!"

Harry laughed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you looked out at the crowd together.

"I feel great," Harry said, turning his face to the side to lock his eyes with yours, "Being here again and having you by my side is something that I thought would only happen in my dreams, so I feel great my dreams came true again."

"This is a time where I actually feel good saying that I told you so," you smiled softly, "I always knew that you were going to be selling out this places on your own, baby. And I'm so proud of you."

"I know," Harry pecked yours lips for a moment, "And that's the reason why I'm here, because you had never allowed me to doubt myself."

"You're here because you've earned it by working hard and pouring your heart out in everything that you do, there's no one who deserves this as much as you do."

Harry's eyes got watery at your words, and he grabbed youe face to connect your lips, expressing everything he felt at the moment with a kiss.

"10 minutes till show time!" One of the crew members announced, making you break apart.

"Go sing about fruit and joke about dads, rockstar. I love you."

"Love you more, lovey."

And with a final kiss to your lips he was off to perform, ready to charm a crowd of 80,000 people on his own, something that he never though he would achieve.

september 21st, 2022 - new york

Emotions were all over the place at Madison Square Garden’s backstage, the clinking of champagne glasses along with congratulatory speeches were heard all around the room as a way to celebrate the 15 sold out shows at the world’s most famous arena.

The grin on Harry’s face was evident as he thanked everyone who approached him to applaud his milestone, from his friends to the arena’s crew, and holding his own glass of champagne and wearing a small smile, his eyes started wandering around for you.

It was when he reached the now empty pit of the arena when he found you, just a few hours prior, the room was filled with feather boas, glittery hats and more than twenty thousand people who came together to celebrate him. Right now, it was just you and him, looking up at the brand new addition to the arena.

“HARRY STYLES. 15 CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS AT THE GARDEN”

Was what the arena’s brand new banner said, a banner that would permanently stay there, as a reminder of what your boyfriend had achieved.

“You know I wouldn’t have done it without you, right?” he said as he approached you, bringing you closer by wrapping both of his arms around your waist, leaning his chin of your shoulder “All these songs are about you, all of this is because of you, my love.”

You smiled, the feeling of elation increasing at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. Turning around to face him, you placed your hands on his cheeks before you spoke “This is all you, you did this, baby,” you said while looking into his eyes, and the fact that they were glossy and watery told you that he was still very emotional about the night’s events.

“Maybe I inspired you to write the songs, but the words aren’t mine, honey, they’re yours. All the people who filled those seats every night, they were here for you, because you have impacted their lives in ways no one else could. You deserve this, and I’m so proud and happy for you.” You finished, feeling your own eyes getting watery, still holding his face between your hands, and pressing your foreheads together.

“I’m so damn lucky to have you.” Harry chuckles, leaning in to press a kiss to your jaw and then nuzzle your neck, you put your hand on the back of his neck and caress his hair, letting him embrace you and holding him right back.

“I’m the lucky one, I mean, not everyone can say that their boyfriend has a banner permanently hung up high at Madison Square Garden, right?” you joked, feeling his laugh vibrate against your neck before he pulled his face out of it, looking into your eyes.

“I love you so much, YN.” he said looking right into your eyes, and his expressed what he had just said, you could feel the love radiate from him.

He’s walking joy, walking happiness, walking love

november 5th, 2022 - los angeles

From the moment you were woken up by the sound of Harry's dry coughs, you knew it was going to be a hard day.

Harry had been feeling under the weather the last couple of days, and today he was feeling his worst. As a professional, he pushed through, thinking it was just exhaustion from the intense schedule on tour.

However, as the day progressed, Harry couldn't shake the feeling of sickness off his body. His throat was sore, and his head felt heavy and he could barely sing during soundcheck, making his bandmates and managers worry about his health.

"Baby," you called out for him, caressing his hair softly, "Jeff just texted me that the doctor is here, he's going to check up on you."

Harry didn't verbally reply, he just stood up and kissed your forehead softly before leaving the room, you following close behind.

You knew what he was worried about the most: having to cancel the show.

The doctor examined Harry thoroughly and then delivered the unfortunate news, he had a severe throat infection and singing tonight could worsen it, so he had to cancel his upcoming shows.

He didn't speak, but you knew he was devastated.

After he delivered the news to his fans via an Instagram story, you wrapped your arms around him and kissed his cheek softly before speaking, "You did the right thing, Harry. Your fans love you, and they'll understand that your health comes first," you reassured him.

Jeff and Tommy, who were in the room too, nodded in agreement, "We'll handle the rescheduling and all the logistics. You just focus on resting and getting better," Jeff said, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder, "I'm so sorry, mate." and with a final pat to Harry's back, they were out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.

"Hey," you grabbed his chin, making him look at you, "Talk to me, love. What are you thinking?"

"I feel terrible, I hate disappointing the fans and I feel like I let everyone down."

You pressed a tender kiss to his temple again before speaking, "Your fans understand that you're human, just like everyone else. You're allowed to prioritize your well-being, and the fans will always be there for you, cheering you on, no matter what."

Harry gave you a tired smile and laid your head against your shoulder, and you felt proud of everything he does, even giving himself a break.

december 4th, 2022 - buenos aires, argentina

“Holy shit! Look at how packed that pit is already.” Harry said as he got a peek of the stadium, it was still early but fans were already inside and waiting for him.

“You know how much your fans here love you, baby. Tonight’s show is going to be crazy.” You rested your chin on his shoulder, looking at the crowd with him.

“It’s going to be one of the best, I can’t fucking wait.” Excitement was evident on his voice and you couldn’t help but melt a bit, the man you love was happy and that made you the happiest as well.

“They scored!” Anthony Pham’s voice made you turn your heads, a bunch of the crew members were watching the Argentina vs Australia match on a small tv, and the screams from the crowd just confirmed that their country had just scored.

“Wait, put the match on the big screens, let’s watch it together with the crowd.” Harry said and guys from the tech crew quickly put the match on the stadium screens, making fans grow excited.

By the end of the match and by a close call, Argentina won and the crowd erupted in cheers and screams, the entire staff celebrating too and hyping the crowd.

“Go celebrate with them baby! Go on!” you urged Harry to go on stage, “You know what? Fuck it!” and he ran to the stage and hyped the crowd, celebrating the victory with them

Argentina gave him one of his best tour memories already and the shows were still yet to happen.

february 20th, 2023 - perth, australia

“How are we feeling in here tonight Perth?” Harry said into the mic, looking out at the crowd cheering and screaming for him, “It’s been about 5 years almost since I last performed in Australia, feels so good to be back.”

The crowd erupted in cheers and screams, and you watched fondly as he moved around the stage.

“YN, my girlfriend, she loves to research each country we visit before the show," Harry pointed out to you and the nerves instantly hit you, despite being with him years, you still weren’t used to the spotlight and the attention. "She told me about some… peculiar traditions you guys do over here, like drinking out of a shoe.” Harry said and the audience went wild along with you, you knew his fans had been trying to get him to do a shoey since the last time he performed in the country and you insisted that he needed to finally do it.

“This is one of the most disgusting traditions I’ve ever heard of,” he paused to shake his head, “Fuck it,” and he proceeded to take his shoe off, making the entire audience roar in cheers.

“Can you do a Shoey with water or is that against the rules? YN?” the camera zoomed into you, putting your face in the big screens across the stadium, you couldn’t help but laugh and yell your responde, “She says no! Okay let’s just get this over with.”

And next thing you knew, Harry was drinking out of his shoe and the entire stadium was erupting in screams.

“I feel like a different person…I feel ashamed of myself. It feels so personal! Such an intimate moment to be shared with so many people!” at this point your belly hurt from how much you were laughing, and Harry couldn’t help but laugh as well, “I’ll be discussing this with my therapist at length…at length! And YN, you’re a terrible girlfriend for making me do this!”

Even though you were aware of the cameras catching your every reaction, you rolled your eyes with affection and jokingly flipped him off, making him blow an obnoxious kiss your way.

“Now, who’s ready for more music?”

march 26th, 2023 - tokyo, japan

“Everyone who knows me, knows how incredibly special this country is to me. I came here a few years ago for 5 days, and stayed a LOT longer than 5 days. It was one of the best things that ever happened to me in my whole life.” Harry said, looking out at the crowd in complete awe, “I’ve always felt that my time in here in Japan was incredibly special to me & I would not be able to make those 2 albums if it wasn’t for that time. So thank you the people of Japan for whatever it was that you gave to me. I will love you for it forever”

You couldn't help but shed a few tears, adoration running through your veins for the man who was currently closing up one of the most special legs of his world tour.

"However, unlike the last time I came here, I'm not on my own this time, I'm here with this incredible band who gives me the honor to play with them every night, the amazing crew who makes every show possible, and most importantly," he put a hand to his heart before continuing, "I'm here with the gorgeous woman I get to call my girlfriend, and I feel like the luckiest man in the world for that."

It was safe to say that you were full on crying by now, aware of fans and cameras catching your every move but not ashamed to be vulnerable because of the man you loved.

Harry turned to look at you on the side of the stage before speaking again, "I love you so much, baby, thank you for being my muse and my best friend, none of this would be possible without you."

And as if it was the first sentence you ever learned, you instantly mouthed and "I love you to Harry, making him grin and blush before speaking into the mic again.

"Thank you, Japan! I love you."

june 10th, 2023 - slane, ireland

Today was a day for the history books. Harry was going to make history as the first artist to ever perform in the iconic Slane Castle as a main performer for his own tour since 1985.

He brought up that he was offered the chance while you were snuggled in bed, listening to soft music that played from Harry’s record player.

“They offered me to perform at Slane Castle. You know, that venue where the only way to perform is if you get invited by Lord Henry.” Harry said casually as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“Baby! That’s amazing!” you said in a cheerful tone, but the way Harry pursed his lips made you guess what was going on in his mind, “Don’t tell me you’re second guessing this, it’s a great opportunity.”

“I know, I know,” he said, pecking your forehead softly before continuing, “But everything’s pretty intimidating, there’s a lot to live up to.”

“And you will absolutely crush it. So call Jeffrey right now and tell him to book the gig.”

And so he did. And now, you were leaning on his dressing room’s vanity table, watching as he got ready for one of the biggest nights of this career.

“How do you feel?” you asked softly, you knew that his nerves always kicked in during this time.

“Nervous, happy, excited,” he turned to you, giving you a soft smile and tender eyes, “I just want this to be a memorable show, I don’t want anyone to leave the venue feeling like the show wasn’t good enough.”

“Everything’s going to be fine, gorgeous,” he smiled at the pet name, one of his favorites that you use for him, “Every single show that you’ve done ever since you were sixteen has been absolutely incredible, this one won’t be the exception.”

And instead of giving you a verbal reply, he crashed his lips into yours, pouring all of his feelings in a kiss.

“Hershel, time to hit the stage!” you were interrupted by Jeff knocking on the door.

“Oh cut it out, Jeffrey. We’re in the middle of my pre show shag.” Harry joked, making you throw your head back in laughter.

“You have two minutes, you menaces.” Jeff timed his eyes, already used to your shenanigans.

Your laughs died down and you looked directly into his eyes, caressing the hair at the base of his neck before speaking, “You’re going to deliver an amazing show, okay?” Harry only nodded, letting you continue, “You don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations, you just need to be your loving carefree self and everyone will have the best night of their lives.”

He pecked your lips before speaking, “Thank your for that, and for just being you, honestly,” he shook his head for a moment, “I wouldn’t have the courage to go out on stage every night if it wasn’t for you.”

“You would. Because you were born for this. Now go make me proud, rockstar.”

And with a final kiss to your lips, he was off with his band, ready to hit the stage of one of the most important nights of his career.

july 22nd, 2023 - reggio emilia, italy

The time had come to say goodbye to Love On Tour.

Surrounded by Harry's family and friends, you stood in the VIP area of the field watching Harry perform the last show of his biggest tour.

The night had been incredible so far, Harry pour his heart out performing just like he had been doing for the last two years, making the show extra special by adding new songs to the setlist and letting the crowd know how thankful he has for everything given to him.

"I will remember this evening and all of this for the rest of my life. Thank you for letting me be a part of this, thank you for dedicating your time to me, thank you for listening to me. Thank you for being amazing. Thank you for everything." Harry said into the mic, beginning with his final speech, one you knew would make you tear up.

"I have people here tonight who have supported me in so many ways over the past 13 years in which you can only imagine. I would not be on this stage without them and their love and support. My family are here tonight, my friends are here tonight," Harry's voice cracked up and his eyes got teary, making everyone in the crowd tear up along with him, "I was doing so well! Thank you for the support, thank you loving me for the way that you have. My friends are here tonight, thank you for having my back, always. I love you all so much. Thank you. I have a lot of things to feel incredibly lucky for in life but i feel the luckiest with my friends support. It allows me to do this. I am so full right now, I've never been happier in my entire life."

You held Anne's hand as you listened to his speech, both of you growing emotional at his words, just as the nearly 100,000 fans in the crowd.

"My girlfriend and life partner is here tonight, just like she was for all 169 previous nights, and all the most important moments of the last 13 years," eyes turned to you, but your attention was only on the man on stage, the one you loved, "I've said it countless of times before, but none of this would be possible without you. You're my best friend, my muse and my biggest supporter. Thank you for loving me, and giving me a love to write about. I love you."

You mouthed an "I love you" back to him, wiping some tears that kept falling from your eyes.

"Secondly, to you all," he turned to face his band, "Thank you so much for doing this with me, that you trust me, thank you for giving your time, your energy. This show is what it is because of everything you've done every night."

He continued his speech, thanking the fans for the same space they created over the years, and giving him the opportunity to be on stage every night doing what he loves the most.

After a 10 minute ballad written specially for the night, Love On Tour was officially over. But the memories created around it would last a lifetime.

taglist: @lightsoutstyles @willowpains @straightontilmornin @sleutherclaw @gimsaysay @hazzassmirk @platinumbarbie143 @musicforcinemas @celesteblack08 @scntfrhs @eleanordaisy @lomlolivia @iceebabies @iloveshawn @be-with-me-so-happily

[messedupfan]

Chapter 15

Summary: It's the morning after Y/n's drunken night and they have no idea where they are. Wanda recruits Agatha to help with a legal issue. And Tommy and Billy have a tournament that they are excited about.

A/n: Y'all this is almost 10k so please don't be mad at me for the slow update haha. Also, this kind of got away from me so I hope it's good? I don't know. Also, I can't believe we're at Chapter 15 and it's not even close to being done! Ugh, I have such good chapters planned too! I can't wait to write them. Anyways... Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | All Chapters

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You wake up, confused by your surroundings. You fear for a moment that you might've slept with someone random at the bar the night before. You don’t remember getting flirty with someone but with the way things have been you wouldn’t be surprised if you acted impulsively the night before. You groan softly as you shut your eyes. The last thing you need right now is another compilation. So you're careful as you step out of the bed, hoping you’re able to make a clean escape. 

You're filled with relief as you find yourself fully clothed as you sit on the slightly familiar bed. Is this an ex’s bed? Did you call Daisy? No, you doubt she’d have answered anyway. You are almost certain she has blocked your number by now. Then you think back to who you invited and consider that maybe this is Darcy’s home. Your head is pounding as you wrack your brain to remember where you know these soft sheets from. As you look around the room you notice pills on the nightstand and a glass of water. You take the pills and brace yourself to stand up. As you stand in the middle of the room, it clicks in your mind where you are and you can’t believe it took you so long to figure it out. Wanda. You stretch before you walk out of the room. 

As soon as you open the door, you're greeted with an inviting aroma. You follow it as if you were a cartoon character all the way down the stairs. Wanda is in the kitchen cooking French toast. “That smells amazing,” you compliment through a yawn. 

“Good morning,” she says as she hands you a cup of steaming coffee. “You gave us all quite the scare last night,” she says as she keeps her focus on the stove. She isn’t ready to look at you after what went down between the two of you last night. With how much restraint you’ve shown her in the past, she is upset that you kissed her last night. She knows that she is guilty of kissing you when she shouldn’t have but she couldn’t let go of the annoyance she feels towards you for drinking so much. You were supposed to be the stable one out of the pair of you. 

“I'm sorry,” you say with a frown. “I shouldn't have had so much to drink. I just. Things have been really weird lately. I don't really know what or how to process. I don't know. There's no excuse. I shouldn't have gotten so wasted that I don't remember last night and you shouldn't have had to take care of me.” 

Wanda places the toast on a plate as she listens to you express your guilt. “It’s okay. I'm glad Darcy called me. She and two giant guys couldn't keep you under control. It gave me a bit of an ego boost,” she smiles playfully as she takes a sip from her mug. She’s going to give you a pass because you’ve given her many. “Besides, it's not like I haven't done worse with you before. It happens. Just don't make a habit of it.” 

You nod as you remember the time Wanda got drunk with you and tried to convince you to have sex with her. At least nothing like that happened last night. You hope. “I promise, I won't,” you state as you watch her continue to cook. You find her attractive when she performs even the simplest of tasks. You wonder how you'll be able to sustain a friendship with her now that you're both single again. You pat your pockets for your phone to direct your attention to downloading a dating app before you let your heart convince you into doing something to jeopardize this friendship. 

“Are you going to tell me what it was about or do I need to mind my own business?” Wanda asks as she adds more toast to the plate. 

“I um,” you sigh as you close your phone and return it to your pocket. You look at her again and then look down into your mostly full mug. “Jean and Anna want to have a baby. With me. Except not with me. Well, they want me to help make him or her or them, they just don't want me to be the kid's parent.” 

Wanda quickly turns off the burner and looks at you with wide eyes. “What?”

You nod, “Yup and they expect me to have sex with Jean. No, wait, how did Anna put it?” You tap your chin as you try to remember. “Ah yes, they want me to fornicate with Jean for reproductive purposes only.” You scoff as you bring the mug up to your lips and take a drink.

“I can't,” Wanda shakes her head. “I don’t even know where to begin to process that,” she says as she resumes cooking the breakfast. You set the mug down and look around to make yourself useful. You start chopping the vegetables she has out so that you can busy your hands and attempt to make omelets. “Are you thinking about saying yes?” 

You sigh, “Only because I keep thinking about how much Rachel would love it. I mean.” You stop chopping and turn to lean against the counter and face Wanda. “I never talk about this but I had an older brother. I didn't get to know him because he passed away before my first birthday. But my parents would talk about him. There are pictures of the four of us in an album somewhere. And I've thought about how different my life would have been if I still had him. I wonder if my parents divorce would have been easier if I had someone by my side to go through it with me.” You cross your arms and shake your head. 

“Rachel has already gone through her parents divorce alone, Y/n,” Wanda reminds you. “Giving them a baby isn't going to change that. She's ten, she's going to be facing big changes soon and a baby isn't going to be able to help support her. In fact, I think a baby will distract from the vital issues she is bound to face. Especially when she'll need her mom's the most. I think you need to take her out of this equation.” 

You nod, “That's… well, you’re not wrong.” You scratch your cheek in thought. Trying to come up with a reason why you think you should say yes. “Jean pointed something else out to me,” you start and Wanda gives you her full attention as she stops cooking entirely. “I can have more kids whenever I want. Jean and Anna are ready to have a baby now and they don't want to have to compromise on a dream of theirs because of their inability to,” you struggle for a moment to come up with a way to end the sentence, “reproduce on their own.” 

Wanda licks her lips as she thinks. She didn’t realize that Jean had this much control over you that you would tear yourself apart in order to keep her happy. She thought the two of you had the healthiest relationship she’d ever seen of a divorced couple but now she can see how wrong she was. You cannot say no to Jean and it’s killing you at the thought of having to. It seems as though there isn’t a thing she could ask of you that you will say no to. She was the one that asked for the divorce. She wanted to keep the house you put so much care in. Wanda had only been there once when Rachel invited the boys over to play. Rachel gave her a tour of everything you’d ever fixed. Vision wouldn’t even replace the batteries in the TV remote and he was pissed that he lost the house in the divorce. You cared about that house but you gave it up without a fight. 

You once told Wanda about a car you saved up for in high school and paid for on your own but Jean convinced you to sell it, you did so without a thought. Your version of the story was that Jean had just told you that she was pregnant and that she didn’t think it was practical. There was a picture of it with you and Jean on the hood sitting on a shelf at her house. When Wanda asked if that was the same car from the story she was told. Jean laughed and claimed that she had you sell the car months before she found out she was pregnant simply because she didn’t like it. But because you are who you are, your memories were altered to believe the decision was made as a parent. That wasn't Jean's fault, it's just the way you had programmed yourself when you were young and in love. 

This, however, wasn't about a car. She'd actually prefer that you sit here and tell her about Jean asking you to buy her a car. But asking you to procreate with her this way is… Wanda can't even fathom how the two normally level headed women came to this conclusion. 

“Are you willing to sign away your parental rights? This isn't a closed adoption situation. You would have to see this child at least every Sunday for years,” she stresses the length in time to prove a point. “I think I've gotten to know you well enough that I can say, you aren't the kind of person to just help bring a kid into the world and not be part of their life.” Wanda shakes her head. 

You go back to working on the omelets as you go quiet. You didn't know what to do or say. All you know for certain at the moment is that you are hungry and that you want to have an omelet with the French toast that Wanda made. “Do you have any bacon?” You ask as you rummage around her refrigerator. “Yes, you do!” You find it before she answers. Wanda is concerned about your sudden change in attitude as she watches you move around the kitchen.  But she doesn’t say anything else. If you want to move on from the subject, she will move on from the subject.

While the two of you are sitting at the kitchen table eating in silence, Wanda is thinking of ways to help you if you do agree to help Jean have another baby. It wasn't fair to ask so much of you. What would you even get out of this? She can’t believe the couple is being so selfish. The entire time you were staying here, you were putting in a lot of overtime and it was painful to watch you come here beaten down and exhausted. And yet you smiled around the kids, you were playful and were very helpful in putting them to bed. Wanda could see it in your eyes that you were stressed but you never let it show. She thought about how dirty you came back every night. Evidence that you have to put in a lot of hard and physically demanding labor in order to provide. Something that many people have the luxury of never having to experience. Wanda thought about how grateful she would be to you if she had to depend on you that way. What she would do to show her appreciation. Meanwhile Jean and Anna are coming up with more ways for you to spend that hard earned money on anyone but you. 

As you ate your breakfast, your mind was running around in circles about the whole thing. Even though you had a week so far to think it over, you realize that focusing on work and getting drunk every night didn't make the decision easier and it definitely didn't make any of the issues disappear. You didn't want to do this but you couldn't think of a good reason not to other than you simply didn’t want to. That doesn’t seem like enough. Not when it comes to something like this. Since you couldn't think of a good argument, you felt that your hands were tied and you might as well do it for Jean. Er, for Rachel? No, Wanda is right, Rachel cannot be a factor in this decision. But it feels weird making the decision based on your ex-wife. She isn’t your wife, which means you’re not obligated to her anymore. Only Rachel. The thought is freeing as you begin to analyze your relationship with Jean. This causes you to worry you about transferring most of your paychecks to Jean instead of directly to the hospital because she said that she should be the one to manage the payments. Was she putting the money where it’s meant to go or was she doing something else with it? She wouldn’t do that. Would she? Nothing seems as clear cut as it used to. 

“Do you want a baby?” Wanda asks as the two of you take care of the dishes together. 

You shake your head, “Not right now. I've had to dip into the secret college fund I have for Rachel to pay rent this month. Not a lot but still. I’m not financially in a place to have another kid. I always thought I’d wait to even have kids when I checked all of the boxes and then well, Rachel happened.” 

“You have a college fund for Rachel?” Wanda asks as she dries the plate. You nod as you scrub a glass cup. “Why is it a secret?”

“Because, there is the one Jean and I started when Rachel was born and that one Jean is constantly using as a rainy day fund,” you state politely because she really did use it as a savings to pay for anything she didn’t want to use her money on. As you continue to wash the dishes you're starting to wonder if she even adds money in there at all at this point or if it’s only you. “The one I have kept a secret, I started after the divorce because I can't really trust Jean with money. She actually used the last attempt of the joint college fund on the DJ for her wedding last year. It was Anna’s cousin and he didn't actually need to be paid since he's in high school and the entire setup was his laptop, my bluetooth speakers, and YouTube. He didn't even have a paid plan so there were a lot of ad breaks throughout the event. The worst part of it all is that he has Spotify premium but he didn't want to use it because he didn't want his recommendations to be all, in his words ‘lesd up,’” you shake your head as you recall the sweaty sixteen-year old that vaped away your daughters college money all night. 

The more the two of you talk the more Wanda is finding reasons why you shouldn't get involved in this. Jean might say that you would have no involvement with the child but what happens when she's having a rough financial patch and she goes to the courts for child support? Wanda knew she was going to have to call Agatha as soon as she dropped you off. You clearly needed someone to intervene and Wanda has just appointed herself to be the one to do it. 

“You don't have to give me a ride home, I can pay for a ride home,” you mutter as you pull your phone out of your pocket. Wanda swipes it out of your hands. 

“Are you crazy? I've seen the medical bills you guys have to pay, you need to be saving as much as you can,” Wanda says as she puts the device in her pocket. “You can have it back when you're home.” You roll your eyes but apologize as you express your gratitude. She was being kind. You didn't need to be giving her this much attitude when she was doing nice things for you. 

The two of you chat lightly in the car ride to your apartment. You don't want to dive into the issues on your mind and Wanda doesn't want to upset you further. “Oh! Tommy and Billy have a big match coming up for their martial arts classes. They're really excited about it. Billy is more nervous than excited but he's still really into the whole thing. I've asked him if he wants to do something else but he's pretty dedicated to the sport. I'm glad he's staying committed. Besides, it'd be really unfair for Tommy to be better trained in how to beat up the poor kid more than he already does. At least this way, Billy has a chance.” 

You smile as you agree. Billy needed the martial arts classes more than Tommy did but at least they could be fighting on an even level. “Hey, what was that brand of vodka you gave me last night?” Wanda makes a face as she doesn't recall giving you any vodka last night. “Come on, I'm not going to go on another binge. It was just really good and really familiar. What was it called?” 

Wanda tries to wrack her brain for a memory of what she could have served you the night before. “I didn't, I only gave you - oh,” she smiles at you for a second and quickly returns her attention to the road ahead of her. “It was water. You wouldn't drink it so… I kind of tricked you.” 

You shake your head. “I don't know if I could trust you ever again,” you say dramatically as you turn to face the window on your side of the car. “I can't even look at you.”

“What?! I was trying to keep you alive!” 

“By lying to me?” You playfully accuse. 

“It was for your own good!” She argues. You cross your arms over your chest and pout as you slouch in your seat. 

“I'm not a child,” you say in a baby-like voice, making Wanda laugh. Her laugh breaks your act and you sit up laughing with her. It goes quiet for a bit as she gets closer to your apartment building. Then you remember the crazy work schedule you have. “Hey uh, can you help me with picking up Rachel from school this week? I'm not going to work as late as the past few weeks but I don't think I'll get out in time and I want to avoid her moms as much as I can while we figure out this whole thing.”

“You ask a lot of me,” Wanda says as a joke but you don't catch it at first so you start to stumble on an apology. “I’m kidding, of course I'll be happy to help you out with Rachel.” She doesn't mind helping with your daughter because she loves her almost as if she were her own child. Plus her boys behave better when Rachel is around. It doesn't hurt that Wanda will get to see more of you, but that’s not why she agrees. 

“Thank you,” you smile at her, grateful for her generosity. You have no idea what you would do without her. You have no idea how you’ve gotten this far in life without her. You want to express more than a simple thank you but you decide against it. Now is not the time. 

The next day you go over what you want to say to Jean and Anna on your drive to their house. You practice denying them over and over again. It goes poorly during the fake scenarios. One of the scenarios even ends with you offering to set up a date to start the process. You don't know why it's so hard for you to say no to Jean. You've done it plenty of times. You think. You can't come up with an example of when you've been able to say no and put your foot down when it concerns your ex-wife. But that doesn't mean that it hasn't happened. 

As you walk to the door you whisper the words over and over again to yourself but once Jean opens the door the word gets lost in the back of your throat. “Have you thought about it some more?” Jean asks innocently. She's giving you a look that has made you crumble and cave into anything she has asked of you over the years. 

“Um,” you start as you hold eye contact with her. Rachel has so much of her, you wonder if a new baby would look more like you or… No! You have to remind yourself that you're not doing it. You're not going to agree to this. “I have given it some consideration and I-” 

Rachel hobbles by with Anna behind carrying her school bag. She should have been able to get one of those scooters. You shake your head slowly as you take the bag from Anna. Hoping that it’s enough of an answer since Rachel is present. You watch Jean’s expression drop. “Baba! Look at all of the signatures I got at school!” Rachel says excitedly as she shows off her cast.

“Wow, look at you miss popularity,” you smile at her and she blushes as she calls you a dork. “Let's get going, sweetheart.” You walk with her to the car and Jean follows, she helps you get Rachel into the truck and once the door is shut, she asks you to reconsider. “Jean, do you know what you're asking of me? Do you really have no idea what this would do to me?” 

“This isn't about you and it isn't about me! It's something bigger than both of us!” She argues a little too loud for your liking. 

You hold your hands up as you start to walk to the driver's side of the vehicle. “I'm not going to talk to you when you're like this. I don't even recognize you right now,” you shake your head. Jean grabs your shoulder and forces you to look at her. 

“You can't say no,” she pleads, “I need you. Please. Please reconsider.” You look into her eyes and feel your throat close up. You were in love with her once upon a time. You would do anything for her. You have done everything for her. But this was too much. It’s gone too far. 

“I can't, I'm sorry. You have to find someone else,” you tell her softly. Jean lets go of your shoulder and storms off to the house. She slams the door and you enter the truck with a confused and concerned daughter. “It's nothing to worry about, sweetheart. Mom is just,” you shake your head, not really having the words. “Anyway, I'm going to work late this week so I asked Wanda to pick you up with the boys if that's okay with you.” You inform her to get her mind onto something more positive. 

Rachel lights up. Completely forgetting about her mom’s odd behaviour. “Are we staying with her again?” 

You shake your head as you start the engine. “No, no, that was a one time thing honey. She's just going to take you to her house and I'll pick you up from there. Okay?” 

Rachel frowns for a second but quickly perks up. “Okay, that will be cool.” She puts on some music and it cheers you up to hear her happy little voice singing again. 

“Wanda! Darling, how are you?” Agatha greets Wanda with a hug. “What is this big emergency?” Wanda had asked Agatha to brunch a few hours before she had to pick up the boys from their dad's. 

Her friend is a family attorney and she has seen many unique cases over the years. If there was anyone that might be able to help you, Wanda believes it will be Agatha. “It's about a friend of mine. They have been put in an interesting position and I was wondering if you could help me understand their rights.” 

Agatha looks at Wanda as she ponders her words. A waiter walks by and she stops him. “Hey there cutie, do you mind getting my friend and I here a couple of mimosas. Thank you, you are such a gem!” The young man blushes as he walks off to get the drinks. “What's the position your friend has been put in exactly?” Agatha asks Wanda, assuming that it has something to do with Wanda and she’s a bit embarrassed. 

“They've been asked to help bring a child into the world and then sign away any parental rights should they succeed in conceiving. Giving the mother sole custody and the other parent a front row seat to their childs-” 

“I'm going to stop you right there. I actually know what you're talking about,” Agatha cuts her friend off. 

“You do?” Wanda is shocked, she begins to wonder if your friends told her or worse, if Jean and Anna hired her. 

“Yes, I just didn't think it was going to be a real issue. I mean, the idea came from a shrooms trip, I wasn't exactly inclined to believe them. Oh! Thank you,” Agatha takes the mimosa from the waiter. “You are really earning your tip, sweetheart. While I have you, I'll take two omelet breakfast burritos with a side of french toast and a side cup of fruit. Wanda? What are you having?” 

Wanda is thrown off by the new information she had just received that she doesn't remember a single menu item that she had been mulling over while waiting for Agatha. “I-I suppose I'll have the same. Thank you,” she hands the waiter the menu and takes a sip from her mimosa. “So wait, they told you about this?” Wanda asks as she tries to make sense of anything. 

“You're talking about Jean and Anna right?” Wanda nods. “Then yeah, at your new years eve party, we were sharing stories about experimenting with a substance or two and they said that they had taken shrooms on their day off to help them heal or whatever and they both saw a baby that was supposed to be theirs and they were thinking of asking Y/n to help them,” Agatha explains and suddenly everything seems clearer to Wanda. Why else would they think this was a sane idea? 

“Wow,” Wanda shakes her head just as she gets into the details of what Jean and Anna actually asked of you. The food comes out before Wanda is finished explaining, interrupting her for a moment. Agatha shakes her head as she cuts into her burrito shaped eggs when her friend continues the absurd story. 

“The nerve,” she says as she stabs her fork into her food. “The amount of cases I see where people are begging for the other biological parent to give a single fuck about their children is ridiculous as it is. But never do I experience someone expecting a caring person to give that up.” Wanda agrees. She has to work so hard to keep Vision in her kids' lives. Part of her has thought about what it would be like to just stop calling him, stop dropping the boys off, but she knows that doesn't benefit the boys. Besides, he would most likely use that as a reason to take her to court or use it as a way to tarnish her reputation with mutual friends and colleagues. He's very good when it comes to working a room against those he loathes the most. 

“I don't want to believe that Y/n would agree to something like this but, I am still getting to know them. It seems like Jean is a person in their life that they can't say no to,” Wanda starts. “What legal steps do you think Y/n should take in order to protect themselves and their rights in this matter.” 

Agatha tips her head side to side as she thinks. “You're lucky I lost that bet, because if Jean and or Anna had to pay me on new years eve then I wouldn't be able to help. It would have made it a little more difficult, I should say.” She pulls one of her business cards out of its holder and hands it to Wanda. “Give this to Y/n as soon as possible and have them book an appointment immediately. I'll have to take a lot less than my normal fee but I'm willing to take the case and be their lawyer. Besides, it's a requirement that I take a few pro bono cases a year. This will help me meet my quota. Y/n just has to be vigilant and meet with me first.”

Wanda nods as she listens to every direction carefully. Agatha then changes the subject to her dating life and how she's thinking about taking a break from the dating scene. Mostly because one of her hookups turned out to be the gym teacher at the kids school. She didn't know until after an awkward encounter when Nicholas had been dropped off early without her knowledge and he recognized his gym teacher. “Poor boy is traumatized, we're both starting individual therapy this week,” Agatha concludes as she takes a sip of the tea the waiter brought out for her. 

“You're seeing a therapist?” Wanda’s mouth hangs open. 

“Close your mouth, you'll catch flies,” Agatha taps the tips of her fingers against the bottom of Wanda's chin. Wanda shuts her mouth. 

“I'm sorry, I just, I never saw you as the therapy type is all. But, no, I'm sorry that came out all… that's great!” Wanda stumbles on her words, amusing Agatha. 

“Oh please, I've been very vocal over the years about how you and Carol are the only therapy I need. But, well, now Nicholas is scarred for life and it was my actions that caused that, so I have to face the consequences,” Agatha elaborates. “We'll see how it goes, of course.” 

On Monday, Bucky and Thor check in at the start of their shifts when they arrive at the job site. They each take turns in expressing their concerns and you assure them that you are fine. You thank them and they eventually move on to do their part of the job but you can tell that they don't fully believe you. It’s not something you can dwell on when you’re working. It’s dangerous to think about anything other than work when you’re here. A distraction and a simple mistake could cost someone’s life in this industry. 

After a long shift, you drive to Wanda’s house to pick up Rachel. You’re exhausted but you mentally prepare yourself to be in Rachel’s presence. You know that she will have so much to talk about and you want to give her your undivided attention. Plus, you’re going to have to have the energy to make her dinner. When you pull up to Wanda’s driveway, you call your friend to have her send your daughter out but she invites you inside. You didn't want her to invite you to stay for dinner because she was already doing so much for you, but Wanda is pretty convincing. After some resistance, you end up in her bathroom to clean up for dinner. Washing your face and your hands to remove the dirt and grime.

Dinner starts with Tommy and Billy going on and on about the tournament that they're training for. Just as Wanda warned that they would. You hang onto their every word as they describe what they practice at the dojo. Eventually they get too excited and start talking over each other, resulting in them to start bickering with each other. 

“Hold on, boys. Please, you can go one at a time. I don't mind hearing both of your perspectives,” you say calmly to get them to focus on the subject rather than the argument of who should tell the story. The boys are so used to competing for Vision’s attention that neither considered that you’d like to hear from the both of them. Wanda watches as you get them to settle down without raising your voice or threatening them with some sort of punishment. She can't see why Jean would want to cut you out of this part of having a child. But she definitely understands why she's asking to have another child with you. Your patience is giving Wanda baby fever. 

Then you make sure that Rachel gets to talk about her day once her boys have gone on too long. You listen with the same enthusiasm that you showed her boys as Rachel goes on about how she was a warrior princess during recess even though Wanda doubts you have any interest in either of the topics. When Rachel is done speaking, you turn to Wanda. “And how was your day? I know it's tough to follow ninja training,” you gesture to the twins, “and my little warrior princess. But I’d still love to hear about it.” Your tone is soft as you speak to her. Wanda finishes her meal to occupy her mouth as she thinks of a proper response and to stop herself from blushing because of your attentiveness. 

“It was good. I got a lot of work done and then I picked up the kids,” she smiles at the three of them and messes with Billy's hair since he's the closest to her. You smile as you watch her. “We did homework and then we made dinner together. Rachel was a really big help. We were very happy to have her. Weren't we?” Wanda directs the question to her boys who nod with wide smiles. 

“I don't like salads but I think Rachel made the best one I've ever had,” Tommy compliments as he helps himself to another serving of the salad.

“Thank you,” Rachel responds shyly. “I really like the bread you made. It was my favorite part.” The meal was spaghetti with salad and cheesy garlic bread. She grabs another slice of bread to add to her plate. You watch the kids interact with a slight fear that they might develop feelings for each other in the future. For the moment, you push the thoughts away from your mind. Rachel is smarter than you and her mother, she won’t make the same mistakes. You hope. 

When the kids eventually run from the table because you warn that Rachel has ten minutes left here, that's when Wanda finally brings up the conversation she had with Agatha the day before. “I just want you to be protected if you decide to go through with it,” Wanda says as she finishes explaining. 

You stare at the card for a moment and sigh. “Thank you for this but I already told her I'm not doing it.”  

Wanda is surprised to hear that you said no. When she last saw you on Saturday, you were beating yourself up about saying yes. She wonders what changed but she doesn't question it. “Still, call Agatha and set up a meeting. Just in case. You don't want to be caught in something that you can't get out of and Agatha is a really great lawyer.” 

On Wednesday, you are spending your lunch break sitting in Agatha’s office. You tell her that you already declined Jean’s proposition but express your concern that Jean might try something in retaliation. “Interesting,” Agatha starts as she leans closer. “How so?”

You look out the large windows in her corner office and sigh. You clench your jaw as you think about the times that Jean has been denied in the past and it wasn’t ever good. “She just, she doesn’t like to be told no. I don’t know what she’ll do but she’s capable of anything. Honestly, I’m kind of scared to drop Rachel off on Sunday because she might not let me see her again until I change my answer.” 

Agtha sits up with a concerned frown. “She shouldn’t be able to do that. Unless,” she squints her eyes as she looks you up and down. “Do you have partial custody of Rachel?” 

“Yes, but it’s a little more complicated than that.” You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at Agatha like a child telling his mother that he did something bad. “At the time of our divorce I was between jobs and didn’t really have my own place to live. The judge saw me as an unfit parent that should only be allowed supervised visitations on the weekends.” You explain slowly as you go over the details from your memory. “Jean thought that was a crazy ruling but didn’t say anything in court. I think because she was broke and single at the time and wanted to be the one who received child support.” You shake your head as you remember the darkest period of your life. “We eventually worked out our own arrangement but we never updated it with the court. And honestly I forgot all about it until this stuff came up. But, gosh, I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid.” You run your fingers through your hair and lift your tongue to the roof of your mouth to prevent yourself from crying. “On paper, Jean has more parental rights to Rachel than I do.” 

Agatha nods as she takes notes. “Actually, you might have more than you think,” she says. “I have looked up Jean’s address and it’s not within Rachel’s current school district. Correct?” You confirm. “But your address is, is that correct?” You confirm again and sit up straighter as you clear your throat. “Well, then that means you have documentation stating that Rachel’s permanent address is the same as your permanent address. Which could be used as evidence that you are her primary caregiver and not your ex-wife.” 

“But I’m not her primary, I mean, we both take care of her eqaually,” you respond nervously. Not wanting to start a nasty custody battle with Jean right now. 

“Listen, I know this is overwhelming. I’m not going to send a formal letter to Jean or petition the court without your say so. I’m just thinking about worst case scenario. I genuinely hope that when you drop off Rachel on Sunday that you will be able to pick her up on the following Sunday. But in the event that Jean decides to enforce her rights as the primary caregiver, then we have to be ready to present your case to a judge. Besides, for Rachel’s sake, you should have that updated soon. You’re a good parent and anyone can see how much she adores you. Do you want to have that taken from you in the blink of an eye?” Agatha poses a compelling argument and you really start to consider your options here. 

“Can I get back to you on that? I really have to get back to work,” you say instead of giving her the go ahead. You really needed to think about this some more. You worried that if you took Jean to court right now to get it formally stated that you should have equal custody of Rachel, and maybe even got your child support payments lowered, she would do everything in her power to stop you. She was so upset the last time you saw her. You’re surprised she didn’t rip Rachel out of the truck right then and there. Agatha is right, though, Jean can decide to take Rachel from you at any moment and you can’t do much to stop her. 

You consider your options the rest of the day. When you are inevitably left alone with Wanda, you talk about how the meeting went with Agatha. You tell her the information on the patio as the two of you sit and have a glass of wine together. Wanda is speechless at the end of it and she brings two fingers to her lips and blows air out when she removes them. “Are you fake smoking?” You ask as you recognize the gesture. 

“Yes, this is stressful but I'm a mom this week so I can't light a real one,” she says as she continues to pretend to smoke. I can't help but laugh at how serious she is as she speaks. I hold my hand out. 

“Do you mind if I get a hit of that?” I ask and Wanda agrees. She hands you air and you pretend to take a couple of puffs before you hand it back to her. “Whoo, you didn't tell me that was weed!” You say playfully, making Wanda smile. She shrugs in response. 

“I told you I was smoking, I didn't say what I was smoking,” she goes back to pretending to smoke. 

You look up at the night sky and sigh as you think about everything going on in your life right now. “How did everything get so messed up?” The question is rhetorical and not at all directed to Wanda and she knows that. She lets the question go unanswered for a few minutes as silence lingers between the two of you. 

“I don’t know,” Wanda looks at you with a slight frown and sad eyes. She reaches out and holds your hand. You accept the small gesture of comfort. “What do you think you're going to do?” You shake your head, not really knowing what you should do. “Do you think you can have a rational conversation with her?” You shrug, before Jean made the request you would have said yes without any doubt. Now, you're not as confident in any answer. 

“I should at least try though, right?” You ask rhetorically. Wanda shrugs, mentioning that it might not hurt. You smile. “Would you mind if I dropped Rachel off here on Saturday? So that I can have a conversation with Jean and Anna without risking Rachel's ignorance to the situation.” 

Wanda nods, “Of course! I'm sure the boys will love it. Besides, I'm probably going to be in your debt for a while since you've volunteered yourself to be the boys punching bag until their tournament is over.” 

You laugh, “You're never in my debt, Wanda. I'm happy to help the boys with any extra training. And if anyone is in debt here it's me with you. You've done so much for a stranger that you met last summer in a liquor store.” You smile fondly at the memory of seeing a woman who looked like she needed some kindness in that moment. “I don't know how to thank you enough.” 

Wanda thinks about how the two of you haven't known each other for a year and yet it feels as though you've always been in her life. She smiles, “When you put it like that, I don't know how we ever got here in the first place. I should have had you arrested.” 

“What?” You are amused by the statement. “Why would you have me arrested?”

“I was a mess that day! Then you're hitting on me? I don't know, it's kind of a red flag that you were interested in me when I was broken.” 

“Hitting on you?” You make a face. “No offense, but I was far from hitting on you that day. You looked lonely but not in the ‘I’m open for a hookup’ kind of lonely. Like the ‘I might throw myself off a bridge if someone doesn't smile at me’ kind of lonely.” 

Wanda’s jaw drops. “You're telling me that you only approached me because I looked suicidal?” 

You shrug with a nod, “Kind of.” Wanda’s grip on your hand loosens as she shakes her head but she finds the whole scenario to be a bit funny. “But hey, if we hadn't met that night, we would have met a number or times. That just happened to be our origin story.” 

Wanda closes her fingers around your hand again as she thinks about it. She was going to meet you for the first time when you came over to work on her wall. And if she hadn't met you either of those times, then it might've been because of Rachel and her boys being friends. If not then, it could've been a PTA meeting or at a school sanctioned event. She hadn't realized how connected her life is to yours until now. It feels like destiny. It feels like she was enchanted to meet you. 

On Saturday, after you dropped Rachel off with Wanda, you are standing at the front door of Jean and Anna’s house. You are working up the nerve to knock on the door. You pace back and forth making the situation bigger and bigger in your mind. 

“Y/n?” Jean’s voice startles you and you jump as you turn around. Jean and Anna both have grocery bags in their hands. You didn’t even think that they weren’t home this entire time. 

“Hey, hi, um,” you stumble on your greeting. “Here, let me get that for you.” You take the bags from Jean’s hands and she looks at you weird but she doesn’t stop you. She unlocks the front door and you follow the two women inside. 

“What brings you here?” Anna asks as she starts to pull items out of the bag, 

“Where’s Rachel? Is everything okay?” Jean asks with a concerned frown. 

You are confused by their calm demeanors. You expected the two to be upset with you. You expected Jean to be hostile towards you. “She’s fine, she with her friends. I wanted to talk to you guys about the whole baby thing. Without Rachel being nearby,” you state as you nervously rub your hands together. 

“Oh,” Jean says as she stops unpacking the reusable grocery bag. “I’m sorry about my reaction on Sunday. I’ve been so emotional lately, I don’t know why. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. Especially not with Rachel so close by.” 

“So you’re not mad that I won’t do it?” You ask with caution, not sure if you’re safe or not right now. 

Jean takes a deep breath and Anna comes up behind her to hold her. “I’m not mad at you. It was an unfair thing to ask of you. I truly apologize. I don’t know, I just thought that Rachel is such a wonderful kid and she was such a good baby that I didn’t want to risk creating some sort of little monster with someone else.” 

You smile as you think about what Rachel was like as a baby and she wasn’t easy at all. “I hate to break it to you but Rachel was a nightmare when she was a baby. She didn’t become enjoyable until she was a toddler.” Jean makes a face as she claims that’s not how she remembers it. “That’s because I let you sleep through it. But that kid had a set of lungs on her and she made sure to use them at two in the morning every night for months. Then she spit up everything we fed her, then she had the phase when she would grab her poop and fling it. I can go on and on.” Jean’s expression changes as she makes a connection from your words to a suppressed memory.

“I guess you’re right,” Jean mumbles. “I guess I just had my rose colored lenses on it all. I’m sorry.” You shrug and let her know that it’s okay. “Is that all that you wanted to talk about?” 

You bite your cheek as you wonder if you should even bring up the custody issue but decide that now is as good of a time as any. “I will admit, your reaction on Sunday did scare me. It reminded me that I don’t have as much custody over Rachel as I should and -”

“Wait, no, you do,” Jean stops you and you make a shocked expression. “Don’t you remember? There was all of this paper work that we all had to fill out when Anna was adopting Rachel. So that we have equal custody?” You crease your eyebrows as you think back to several months ago and you vaguely remember signing a bunch of legal documents. Jean walks out of Anna’s arms and over to her study. She reappears with a folder and shuffles through the documents inside. “Here it is,” she hands it to you. “Right there it states that we have an even split joint custody with no imbalance. Not like that bullshit first ruling. I think that judge was just mad that you identify as nonbinary.” You take the document and look it over and that’s when memory comes back to you. How could you forget a momentous occasion like that?

“Oh, wow, I’m sorry. I don’t know how I forgot,” you look up from the document. “I’m sorry that my mind went to the idea that you would keep Rachel from me.” You hand the document back to Jean and she puts it back into it’s folder. She hugs you and you relax in her arms. 

“It’s not your fault, I have done some questionable things in the past. I mean hell, I asked you to be a sperm donor in the most bizzare way possible. I wouldn’t have trusted me if I were you.” This causes your body to shake with laughter. “Are we okay?” Jean asks as she steps back. You nod with a relieved grin. “Good, because we are going to be in each other’s lives forever and I don’t want us to hate each other. Forever is a long time.”

“I agree,” you say softly. “I’m glad that we could resolve this too. It’s been weighing heavy on me the past couple of weeks.” You stay with Jean and Anna for an hour to catch up with them and make sure that everything between the three of you is actually resolved. Then you drive to Wanda’s house. She and the kids are playing an intense game of Mario Kart, a game you’ve been banned from because you win every time, and you don’t want to interrupt. You sit next to Wanda and laugh when you notice that she is in last place. When Tommy wins he jumps out proudly. 

“Take that! I win! I’m a winner! You’re all losers! Haha you guys suck!” He does a little dance that makes you dislike him for the moment. You know that he’s a good kid but he wasn’t a good sport when it came to competition. It was something that Wanda says that Vision encouraged. That Vision only produces winners. 

Rachel doesn’t like the excessive showboating and she stands up with a red face. “We don’t suck! You’re just a cheater!”

“Am not!” Tommy scowls at the accusation. 

“Are too!” Rachel fires back. 

You grab her around her waist and pull her to sit on your lap. “Cool off, tiger,” you say as you hold your daughter. “It’s just a game, okay?” 

“But Baba, he always wins and it’s not fair!” She pouts as she crosses her arms over her chest and glares at Tommy. You look at Wanda for help but she is preoccupied with comforting Billy, he was fighting tears. So instead you start to tickle Rachel to distract her from the loss. She squeals as she tries to get out of your grasp. You let go of her and stand up after she does. 

“Bad sportsmanship has awoken the Tickle Monster!” You roar as you hold your arms up in the air and wiggle your fingers. Tommy and Billy’s eyes widen along with Rachel’s as they watch you act foolish. You stomp up to Tommy and start to tickle him until he escapes your grasp. 

“Run! It’s the Tickle Monster!” He shouts as he runs away. You grab Rachel again as she runs past you ans she screeches out as you tickle her. “No! Rachel!” Tommy says as he turns around.

“Go!” Rachel gets out between laughs. “Save yourselves!” You don’t stop tickling her until Billy and Tommy both charge for your legs. They knock you down and you releas your daughter. Tommy and Billy start tickling you back and you laugh until you can’t breathe. 

“Okay, that’s enough boys,” Wanda intervenes. You open your eyes and see that she is recording you. 

Tommy and Billy don’t stop so you have to beg them, “Boys! Boys! The Tickle Monster is dead! It’s me! It’s Y/n!” They finally stop tickling you and move away. Rachel then challenges the boys to a physical race in the backyard. You lay on the floor catching your breath as the three kids run to the backyard. 

“Thank you for that,” Wanda says as she sits on the couch. 

“To be honest, I wasn’t sure if Rachel was going to kill Tommy or if Tommy was going to kill her,” you say as you sit up and lean on your elbows. “Figure I turn myself into the enemy before we had a massacre on our hands.” Wanda laughs as she nods her head. She look out the backdoor and watches the three kids set up their little race. 

“So, how’d it go?” She asks as she turns back to you. 

“Everything has been resolved,” you state as you stand up. “It was a nice conversation, actually.”

Wanda puts her hand on her chest, “That’s amazing news. I’m so glad to hear that.” Then she makes a face as a thought crosses her mind. “Wait, when you say that it got resolved you don’t mean-” 

“No,” you shake your head, “I didn’t agree to the whole baby thing.” Wanda relaxes again and then stretches over the couch to get a better view of the kids. She doesn’t want any of them to get hurt and she is especially worried about Rachel and her bad leg. “I’m surprised she thinks she has a chance to win in that cast,” you say as you watch the kids aswell. 

“Well that’s what happens when you teach kids to believe that they can do whatever they want,” Wanda shrugs. She smiles when the boys don’t run as fast as they can and let Rachel win. She knows that they can be a little competitive at times, well Tommy more than Billy, but she still has hope that they’ll grow into kind men one day. 

After their race is over, Tommy tackles Billy, making you and Wanda run outside to break it up. Tommy gets punished because Billy got a bloody nose from the attack. While you help Billy practice for the tournament, Tommy has to do chores. He washes dishes and has to clean his room. He’s upset that he has to clean but he did feel bad for causing his brother to bleed. So he does as he is told. 

Billy’s nose doesn’t bleed for long. You examine it carefully and tap the nostrils and ask him if any of it hurts. When you can confirm that he is fine you start to ask him a ridiculous amount of times if something hurt until he started to laugh. You tell him to get his uniform on so that Wanda can get the blood stains out of his shirt and so that the two of you can practice. 

You didn’t take martial arts when you were younger but you wanted to be helpful to Wanda’s kids because she is always so helpful with your daughter. Since the day you offered to help them, you went to bed watching training videos. You were a little nervous about practicing with them but you knew how to be careful enough to not hurt them. Plus, you figured that anything you did wrong, Tommy and Billy would correct you. 

When Billy is ready, you and him stand in the middle of the backyard on the grass. Wanda is sitting on her patio with Rachel. Both of them have a glass of ice tea in front of them with a pitcher sitting in the middle of the table. They both cheer you and Billy on. The both of you bow before getting in the fighting position. You are impressed with how coordinated Billy is and you can tell that he wants to be a winner. Tommy is finished with his chores before you and Billy are done with the match and as you predicted, when you did something wrong, the boys called you out on it. Tommy ran over to show you how to properly stand and make the move. You did as he told you and then rewarded him by telling him to get dressed because he was next. 

Wanda was planning on making dinner but because she enjoyed watching you train with her boys, she ordered takeaway instead. She figured that it would be a nice treat for everyone anyway. She watches your every move, you’re not as coordinated as her boys but she is impressed by what you’ve been able to learn in the past few days. She knows that you weren’t an expert in the sport but she was touched by your dedication to help her kids. 

“Alright, time to eat!” Wanda calls out when the door bell goes off, signalling the delivery of the food. “You boys were so good,” she praises as she kisses her sons on the tops of their heads. “Go wash up so we can eat.” Rachel runs off with the boys to go wash her hands as well, leaving you and Wanda alone for the moment. You and Wanda set the table together and lay out the different types of pizza on the counter. When everything is set, Wanda surprises you with a hug. You accept it with a small laugh as you ask her what the hug is for. “You don’t know what it means to me that you’re being so helpful with them,” she admits against your chest. You don’t know what to say so you just hold her for the moment. 

“Wanda, I need to wash my hands too,” you say when you’ve let go of the hug but she hasn’t.

“Fine,” she says as she steps away. You wash your hands in the kitchen sink. The kids run through and Wanda goes over the kinds of pizza’s she ordered and the kinds of drinks she has available. The each fill their plates and you help them with filling their cups. 

“Are you going to be at our tournament?” Billy asks as he adjusts his glasses on his face, they had slipped down the bridge of his nose. 

“Um,” you look at Wanda, unsure about how to answer. You figured that this might be something that Vision might go to and since Rachel isn’t in the class or even remotely interested in the activity, you couldn’t use her as an excuse. Wanda shrugs at first because she isn’t even sure if Vision will attend. He hasn’t been interested in Tommy and Billy since his daughter was born. It hurts Wanda on many levels but she knows the boys have support other than Vision. They have Pietro and Tony and their grandparents. But what helps her the most in this rough moment in her life is that her boys seek your support and validation and you give it unconditionally. She doesn’t want you to worry about not being able to attend so she decides to nod. “Yeah, of course I’ll be there. I have to support my two favorite fighters.” 

“Yes!” Both boys cheer with grins. You find it adorable that they want you there, even though you are nervous about Vision causing a scene. You just hope that nothing goes wrong.

Chapter 16

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiofthemultifandom @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177 @spongebobtentacles

[ghost-of-you]

we just danced backwards into each other - ch - part 9

Paring: Calum Hood x Original Female Character.

Warnings: Swearing, mildly angsty vibes, implied and referenced sexual activities

Word Count: 6.8k

Authors note: me walking in after over a year like nothing happened, have a chapter 💜

Read it on AO3

Part 8

Masterlist

______

"So Lena did you hear the rumors about you and a certain bassist?" The interviewer asks, and Lena chuckles ducking her head. 

"I've been hearing them since we were teenagers."

"So you got nothing to say, you two seem to be spending a lot of time together recently," she pushes and Lena shrugs, adjusting the headphones. 

"Well, this is the first time in a few years we're in the same place at the same time for a longer period of time, so…"

"So there's nothing there? Oh, she's blushing."

"He's awesome, but we've just been working on some things." 

"You two seem cozy, you sure it's just work?"

"He’s like, my favorite person on the planet, we’ve been friends for over half my life, and with the song coming out and me about to go on the road with 5sos again, we keep ending up in the same place."

"How did the song come to be?"

"I had the idea of it but I also had a feeling there was something missing on it, and Calum heard it and he had ideas and we sat down one night and it just came together," Lena says the rehearsed answer that was just close enough to the truth it didn’t feel like a lie. 

"And him staying in it?"

"I knew that song had to be a duet from the beginning and the song wouldn’t exist without him, so it made sense."

"And it was the first time you did something together right?"

"Yeah, and it's weird considering how long we've known each other and how long we've both been writing, and writing with him was such a great experience, he's so incredibly talented and it was one of the best writing sessions I've ever had."

"And you're still not addressing the dating rumors? 'Cause it's hard to believe nothing is happening after watching that music video."

The music video had ended up being a compilation of them on the studio recording the song, and as much as Lena hated to admit it, the edition really did give a new intensity to the way they looked together.

"I mean, it’s an intense song and we’re really comfortable with each other."  

"You know, 5sos was here earlier in the week, and Calum called you his girl," she says and Lena tilts her head, trying to school her expression. 

"He did?" 

"We were talking about how hard it must be to go on tour with your significant other staying behind, with Michael’s engagement, and Calum said he didn’t have to worry this time because his girl was going with them."

"Hard to follow that one up."

"You did say he’s your favorite person," she points out and Lena shrugs. 

"So he has to follow that one up then."

***

Lena misses Calum. That's not exactly the problem. Missing him has been a constant in her life for years now, it's second nature. The problem is that she just can't seem to find a way to see him. They text. She tries to make plans. Their schedules don't even seem to align enough for her to call. She hasn't seen him since the fight and she is seconds away from just marching into his place and staying there until she can see him. More than once she caught herself looking at plane tickets. At this point, she'll take anything that will end with her finally getting the image of the look on his face when he walked away from her out of her head. 

Not that it matters much what she wants considering the way his schedule seems so unbelievably full lately, she wasn't even sure that being in the same city would mean she would get time with him. 

That’s until she gets the call that they were supposed to make an appearance together. She was happy enough about it to even forget to be annoyed by the whole using their relationship for publicity part of it all. Even if she’s biting her nails as drives over to pick him up from the studio and as she moves through the building in a haze as she feels the magnetic pull of him she suddenly doesn’t have the energy to fight anymore. 

"You ready?" Lena asks, tone too casual for how anxious she’s feeling, leaning against the doorway.

"Almost," Calum nods, before turning to her, holding a piece of black fabric, "you think you could wear this?" He asks, offering it to her, and she takes it, eyeing him curiously, before looking at the sweatshirt in her hands. It’s simple, just saying "Friends of Friends" in the sleeves, a triangle design in the front, and a circle one in the back. 

"Is this about that charity thing you guys are doing?" She asks, handing him the sweatshirt back so she could take her hoodie off.

"You know about it?" He asks as she takes it back and pulls it over her head.

"Yeah, Sylvia talked to me about it earlier, she thought I was gonna freak after the tour meeting, but that’s just cool, I’m so in, I wanna do the Sydney one too if you guys end up needing more people," she shrugs, looking down at herself, "this is pretty, can I keep it?" 

"It’s yours," he says with a smile before moving away from her again to gather his things. 

"Thank you, so we’re matching then?" She chuckles, noticing his hoodie had the same logo as her sleeves.

"Two birds, one stone," he shrugs without looking at her. 

"I like it, it makes me feel better about this."

"About going out with me?"

"About going out to get photographed, I’m already used to rest by now," she amends and he steps closer to her, and the way he’s looking at her suddenly makes her feel shy, "hi," she mumbles, looking up at him and his expression softens as smile creeps up his face.

"Just come here," he pulls her to him, and she sighs as she hides her face on his neck, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Are we okay?"

"We’re okay," he assures her, squeezing her closer to him, "I missed you."

"Yeah," she nods, breathing him in, before stepping back, "we should go through." "Yeah," he agrees offering her his hand, "let’s go."

________

"I have nothing to worry about, right?" A high-pitched voice comes from behind Lena as she leans against the bar, making her head snap back to the source, finding Hayley staring her down.

"Nothing happened while you were together," Lena steps back, fighting the urge to add nothing happened at all, looking around herself, trying to find a way to get out before the situation escalated because she’s definitely too drunk to handle whatever is about to unfold.

"He broke up with me because of you," she's staring Lena down and she continues to step back.

"You made him choose, whatever went down after it's not on me," she defends herself but the other girl shakes her head, staring at her in disbelief.

"You’re all over him now and I’m supposed to believe that you didn't tell him—" Hayley continues and Lena shakes her head, trying to talk over her, still moving backward.

"I didn't—"

"Hayles, that's enough," Lena as she hits something at the same time a familiar voice came from behind her, and she turns to Ashton, at the same time he steps forward, seeming like he wants to put himself between the two women, "don’t make a scene."

"I’m not making a scene, I need to know," Hayley says and Ashton steps in front of Lena.

"That’s between you and Calum, leave her out of it."

"But he dumped me because of her."

"You made him choose, it is not my fault you don't like the choice he made," Lena says, leaning to the side, and Ashton turns to her, very clearly saying you’re not helping. "Lena."

"I’m sorry, okay, but I didn’t tell him to do anything, and they were broken up for weeks before we even talked about it."

"That’s not the point," Hayley complains and Lena rolls her eyes.

"What is it then?"

"He—"

"Cal’s a big boy, he can decide stuff really well without consulting with me first."

"Lena," Ashton chastises again and she pouts at him.

"She started it."

"How about you end it?" He says, calling someone over while she continues to pout at him. 

"Come on, Le," Andy’s voice comes from behind her, arm going around her waist and tugging her with him before she can fight him on it.

Lena was extremely aware there was no hiding the purple marks on her neck and cleavage. At least not with anything she had handy. She hated turtlenecks so she didn’t pack one and she didn’t expect anyone to knock on her door so the shirt she had on was doing nothing to hide them. If she decided to be honest with herself, she put the tank top on because the hickeys were proof it had actually happened. That Calum’s lips had been all over her body. But as Andy walked into her room she wished she had something other than her hair to hide them. She didn’t want to talk about it. 

"You are not gonna believe-" he started, sounding excited before stopping in his tracks, doing a double take on her, looking her up and down while stepping closer to her, "is that?" He trailed off, moving her hair away while starting to laugh, "Jesus, who did you fuck? A vampire?" 

"Hilarious," she rolled her eyes, but her cheeks were starting to heat up as she moved her hands to her neck in a pointless attempt to hide the bruises from his eyes.

"Wait, weren't you hanging with Hood last night?" He frowned at her, looking confused, and she nodded.

"Yeah," she mumbled, ducking her head to try and hide the undeniable flush on her face from him.

"Did you go out? How did you?" He asked, and she cringed as his eyes widened at her, face changing from confusion to realization as his jaw dropped, "holy shit, he did that?"

"Yeah," she sighed, dropping into the bed.

"Are you together now?" He asked, clearly not understanding how she was acting.

"Nope," she said, staring at the ceiling and he sat down next to her.

"Can you give me answers with more than one word in them?" His tone was laced with sarcasm and that made her laugh, sitting up so she could look at him.

"No vampires involved, we just hooked up, we are not together," she explained and he stared at her, looking skeptical.

"You ‘just hooked up’," he air-quoted her, making her groan, "with the guy you’ve been in love with since you were a child?"

"I did, yeah," she nodded and he gave her a disbelief look.

"You can't just hook up with someone you've been in love with since you were a child."

"Why not?" she said, pressing her lips together.

"Le, please tell me you’re not this stupid."

"What?""You fucked him. No strings attached?" He asked, still looking at her like she was crazy.

"It’s not a big deal."

"Lena." 

"Stop looking at me like that, I knew what I was doing, and trust me, it was so worth it," she chuckled and the disbelief in his eyes changed to worry. "What now?"

"It’s just, he’s gonna hurt you, Le."

"You can’t possibly know that." 

"Oh, I can, and I don’t wanna see you hurt over some dude that's not all the way in," Andy said and Lena groaned.

"He’s not some dude, and besides—"

"Oh, he’s not, that's why I’m worried," he said over her.

"—Calum would never hurt me."

"Just stay here, okay? Don't move," Andy says, handing her a water bottle and she mock-salutes him, giggling while she nods.

"Yes, sir," she says, making him shake his head, a smile on his face, before moving out the door, closing it behind himself leaving her alone. 

The world is spinning a bit as Lena looks around the dressing room trying to figure out how to distract herself since he took her phone, trying to remember if she brought the book she was reading while looking for her backpack, spotting it on a corner and moving to sit on the floor next to it.

She's lost in thoughts flipping through the notepad she keeps in the front pocket, so she doesn't hear when the door opens and closes and the footsteps approaching her.

"Lena?" Calum's voice comes from behind her and she throws her head back to look up at him.

"Hey, baby!" She greets, dragging the words, her head following his movement as he sits next to her.

"Why are you on the floor?" He asks, as she turns to him and she shrugs.

"Got bored on the couch, Andy said to stay here, so I'm staying," she says, throwing the notepad back into the backpack.

"Are you okay?" He's watching her carefully and she sighs.

"I'm fine," she says, voice sounding slurry, "I'm just drunk," she giggles, running a hand through her hair, twisting a strand between her fingers, before she drops her hands to her lap, "I shouldn't have drink this much, the room is spinning," she giggles, making a spinning motion with her hands.

"What happened? Ash told me to come find you." 

"Your ex thinks I made you break up with her, and I don't have a defense, because you did break up with her because I ran," she looks up at him, biting her bottom lip and letting out a chuckle, "but I actually send you back to her and that's making me think about Tay," she presses her lips together and he frowns at her.

"Why is my ex making you think of yours?" Calum asks and she ducks her head.

"That's right, I didn't tell you," she says, fidgeting with her bracelet, staring at her knees so she wouldn't have to look at him.

"Tell me what?" 

"She broke up with me because of you," she mumbles, scratching her forehead, still avoiding his eyes while she feels them studying her.

"What?" He asks, voice soft and confused and she sighs, glancing at him

"I mean, I was already on thin ice when it came to you then she accused me of prioritizing you and then said I had to choose," she explains, pressing her lips together, sitting up straighter, "I don't do ultimatums," she shrugs and his expression softens.

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Because she was right, I would choose you if it came down to it and that wasn't fair so, it was the right thing to do," she shrugs, picking at the hem of her skirt, "and I didn't want to bring up my feelings, we both know that goes," she chuckles, watching his face.

"I'm sorry," he says, tilting his head, brown eyes looking so warm she wants to lose herself in them.

"It's not your fault," she chuckles, leaning her elbow on her knee, and propping her chin on her hand.

"It kinda is," he says, moving a piece of her hair away from her face and she shrugs noncommittally, "What happened that made her think that? We had kissed once when you were together, it was not like—"

"You called me," she interrupts him and he raises an eyebrow at her.

"I need a lot more words."

"You remember that one time you were back home and I drove up to see you for a few days?" She asks and he nods.

"Yeah."

"Well, she didn't like that, not that I blame her, and I don't think she believed me when I said that it wasn't like that with us and, well, she was already on edge about you and I was with her and you called, actually you texted asking if I could talk and called before I could answer, so I left so I could talk to you, that led to a huge fight and we broke up."

"Why did you leave?"

"I got worried, you didn’t call unless we set something up, you know, international rockstar, full-time student," she shrugs, pointing between them, "different time zones, it was hard to line shit up, so I had to answer, and we talked for like, half an hour, you clearly needed me. I don't even remember what you and I talked about, all I remember is how much she yelled at me over it and thinking that if we were at that point, there was no going back, you know?"

"That’s—" Calum tries but trails off and she presses her lips together. "Like I said, she was right, I just hadn’t realized how right until she pointed it out, I thought I was—" Lena cuts herself and he frowns at her.

"What?" He asks and she sighs.

"That was the deal, right? it didn’t happen, move on, lapse of judgment, yay friendship and all that."

"I think we are past that, love."

"We weren’t thought, and I didn’t want to explain it to you and have you freak out again, and then too much time had passed, no point in bringing it up," she says, chewing on her bottom lip while Calum studies her face. 

"Did you think about choosing me?" She asks suddenly, making him frown. She isn't sure she wants the answer but she'd been dying to ask.

"What?"

"When she said she didn't want you around me, did you think about choosing me?" She explains, watching him carefully as he understands what she wants to know, and waiting as he seems to contemplate her question, lips twisting as he thinks.

"I did," he finally says, holding her gaze and she nods. 

"Okay."

"Okay? You don't wanna know more?" He chuckles a bit awkwardly, and she shakes her head.

"There's more to know? You chose her," she shrugs, and his expression drops.

"Lena," he starts, but she shakes her head, one hand reaching for his cheek, gently stroking it.

"It's okay, I'm not trying to start something, I was just curious," she says, dropping her hand, patting his knee, and smiling when he takes her hand, "I think it's funny, by convincing herself that there's was still something between us, she kickstarted this whole thing, she handed you over," she chuckles and he gives her an unimpressed look, but she can tell he's holding back a grin.

"You know I can think for myself, right?" He asks and she nods.

"But if I hadn't left, well," she motions dramatically around herself, nearly knocking the water bottle by her side, "It's no wonder we're this dysfunctional now, we’re quite a pair, you shut down, I run away," she picks the bottle up, sipping on it, "but I don't like running from you," she adds, pursing her lips and he chuckles softly.

"You sure you don't like it? 'cause you do it a lot," Calum teases and she shrugs, scrunching her nose.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all deep and personal," she says, standing up and moving back to the couch, Calum sitting beside her, throwing his arm on the rest behind her.

"You can talk to me," he says, looking at her and she sighs.

"I don't wanna start a fight or make you feel bad."

"You keeping things from me doesn't help our situation either," he says and she raises an eyebrow at him.

"It goes both ways, babe, don't act like you tell me everything."

"What do you wanna know?"

"I don't know, what do I wanna know?" 

"How should I know?" Calum laughs and she rolls her eyes.

"You don’t make it easy for me."

"Exactly," he nods making her laugh. 

"Wait, did—actually never mind."

"What is it?"

"I don't wanna know."

"You sure?"

"I mean, I probably am not gonna remember this in the morning anyway." 

"Then ask," Calum says and she looks at him for a few seconds before talking. 

"Did you ever wish you stopped?"

"Stopped what?"

"That first time, you said we were about to cross a line and I asked if you wanted to stop, did you ever wish you said yes?"

"What? No," Calum shakes his head, sitting up straighter, "Did you?"

"Nah, I think it was bound to happen eventually anyway, I was just wondering if you ever regretted it."

"I only regret how I insisted it didn't change anything, I could never regret us," he says, sounding serious enough and Lena tilts her head to the side, studying his face.

"Why did you?"

"Admitting it would make it real, I don't think I was ready for that," he says and she sighs.

"You weren't, I knew that and I did it anyway 'cause I wanted to know what it would be like, and sometimes I wonder if I pushed you, 'cause like I was half-naked on top of you, I didn't exactly make it easy for you to walk away if you wanted and, well, it was good so it kept happening and I knew it was gonna blow up in our faces but you made it so easy to pretend that you actually wanted to be with me and—"

"You didn't push me, believe me I wasn't pretending to want you," he interrupts her and she nods.

"You just didn't feel the way I do."

"The way you do?"

"I don’t think I know how to not be in love with you."

"Do you regret it?" He asks and she actually stops to think about it for a few seconds. 

"I don't like how things ended, I hate it actually, but I don't regret it happening."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it makes for great writing material," she jokes and he chuckles.

"That’s fair," Calum says and she leans her head back against the arm he has behind her on the rest.

"You’re really pretty," she mumbles, almost thinking out loud, because he looks good, he always looks good, but that makes him laugh.

"I thought you were mad I shaved my head," he says, running a hand across his head and she pouts.

"Don't remind me, but you’re always pretty, it’s a problem."

"You’re really drunk aren’t you?" He sounds so unbelievably fond as he smiles at her, it's hard for her not to melt further into him.

"I told you that when you came in, I’m a very self-conscious drunk."

"You just have no filter."

"I know, why do you think I was so careful with how much I used to drink around you back when we were on tour?" "What do you mean?"

"You really need me to say that I spent the whole time we were hooking up stopping myself from blurting out my feelings?" 

"That bad?"

"Oh yeah, honey," Lena giggles and Calum's face goes serious all of a sudden.

"I get the feeling."

"No, you don’t," she shakes her head and he raises an eyebrow at her, looking unimpressed.

"You remember this one party, you were wearing that blue dress."

The rational side of Lena's brain knew she didn't have any right to be jealous. But her rational side had no control over her anymore. There she was in the stupid dress she only bought because Calum liked it watching some random girl flirting with him so blatantly it made Lena roll her eyes. The way the blonde was running her hands up and down his arms or twirling her hair between her fingers as she talked to him and the way he was clearly enjoying it made her blood boil. 

And the worst part is that she knew it was irrational. She couldn't demand anything. "Friends. Just friends. No matter what happened. Or how frequently. Friends. Just friends." She kept repeating it to herself like a mantra, trying to stop herself from getting worked up, clutching a beer bottle so tightly that on any other occasion, she'd be worried it would break. Until she had enough. She looked hot, the navy blue dress, a bit shorter than what she would usually go for stopping barely at her mid-thigh, hugged every curve of her body perfectly. She felt good after she finished getting ready and she wasn't about to let Calum and the complete lack of reaction on his part ruin her night. 

So she ditched her bottle, walked to the dance floor, and moved to the beat, trying to think only about the rhythm and it was not long until someone approached her, some guy she was definitely not interested in, but who was cute enough for her to entertain while he danced closer to her.

"Lena, come with me," Calum's voice came suddenly from beside her, and he grabbed her hand, dragging her along with him, barely giving her enough time to murmur an excuse me before she was being dragged away.

"What are you doing?" Lena complained, following him as he moved them through the people and up the stairs and suddenly he was pushing a door open, dragging her inside it and locking the door of the bathroom they had just entered.

"What I'm doing? What were you doing?" He asked, giving her an unimpressed look and she huffed, moving away from him.

"I was dancing?" She rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall and he shook his head.

"You call that dancing?" He asked, moving closer to her and she raised an eyebrow at him, pushing herself off the wall.

"What? Are you jealous? Was blondie not as interesting as you hoped?" She mocked, looking up at him and mimicking the way the girl had been twirling the ends of her hair at him, making him groan in frustration.

"Very mature."

"What? You can hit on a random girl all night but the second I start dancing with someone you go all caveman on me?" She asked, staring him down.

"I wasn't hitting on her," he denied and she huffed again.

"Sure you weren't," she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Are you jealous?" He asked, a smirk starting to form in the corner of his lips and she groaned, shaking her head.

"Of course not, you can hit on whoever the fuck you want," she scoffed, moving around him to get to the door, "but you don't get to be mad if I do the same," she challenged, voice coming out louder than she expected as she stopped by the door, "I sure as fuck wasn't about to waste the effort I put into this stupid outfit just watching some girl pawing all over you," Lena mumbled, unlocking the door, but Calum reached around her, locking it again, her breath hitching when she turned to look at him.

"We're talking here, love, you're not walking out," he said, leaning an arm behind her, trapping her between him and the door.

"I was flirting, you were flirting, what's more to talk about?" She asked, looking up at him, trying to ignore all the effects having him this close had on her body.

"You're this worked up, so there's definitely something to talk about." He was pressing closer to her, and she wasn't sure if he was doing it on purpose but it was getting harder to ignore how turned on she was at that moment.

"You drag me into a bathroom in the middle of a party and I'm the one who's worked up?" She raised an eyebrow at him and he shook his head.

"That's beside the point."

"What is the point exactly? Besides annoying me?"

"Why are you annoyed?"

"Because you're really annoying when you want to be, sweetheart," she complained with a sigh, leaning more heavily against the door.

"Are you sure you're not just jealous?"

"I'm not the one who dragged you away from someone," she said, tracing her hand over his arm. 

"You're in the shortest dress you could find and you want me to watch you with some dude?" His fingers danced across the rem of her skirt, lightly brushing her thighs.

"Blondie was keeping you busy," she shrugged, ducking under his arm to step out of where he had her pinned, and he followed her movements, watching as she smoothed her hands over the dress, before groaning up to the ceiling and running her hands through her hair, directing all of it to her back, and his eyes darkened scanning her body and she had to fight back a smirk, "didn't think you would mind if I let someone else get a taste."

"You wouldn't," he shook his head, moving closer to her.

"I wouldn't what?"

"Let someone else get a taste, you put this dress on for me, we both know it," he explained, stopping just inches away from her, fingers tracing along the thin straps over her shoulder.

"Well, you were busy," she shrugged, "and I was bored," moving around him again, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her from moving too far.

"God, you're so," he started, pupils blown wide, the way he was looking at her sending chills up her spine.

"I'm what?" She challenged, looking up at him, pulling her arm from his hold, but stepping closer to him, hands reaching to fix the collar of his jacket, smoothing her hands over his shoulder, watching as his gaze dropped to her lips, "look, baby, if you want something you just gotta—" she started, trailing her fingers down his biceps, but she didn't get to finish her thought before he let out a groan and crashed his lips to hers, his hands gripping her waist to pull her closer to him at the same time he moved her backward, pinning her against the wall, his tongue exploring her mouth as his hands seemed determined to touch every inch of her body and she was matching his energy, pulling at his hair, nibbling on his lips, letting her hands dip under the collar of his shirt to drag her nails along his neck. 

"Vividly," she offers with a giggle before he can finish his thought, and he raises an eyebrow at her, a smirk on his lips that makes her roll her eyes, "get your mind out the gutter, Hood, you really think I would forget the only time you were jealous of me?"

"That wasn't the only," he starts, but stops himself, making her eye him curiously.

"Are you admitting you were jealous?" 

"You're the one who was jealous," he retorts and she laughs.

"Of course I was, insecure was my default setting." 

"Do you still have that dress?" 

"I think it's somewhere in my closet, but the dress is not the point you're trying to make here, is it? Attraction was never our issue."

"We talked after," Calum says and she nods.

"Yeah, we established we were only sleeping with each other, something I thought was counterproductive ‘cause when would we be finding other people? We were together all the time, we always ended up in the same hotel room and you kept trying to sneak me into your bunk."

"Getting you on our bus was less hassle than me staying on yours."

"'cause I wasn't the flight risk, which is ironic now."

"And I sleep better with you," he shrugs and she narrows her eyes at him.

"Sleep, sure."

"You make it sound like sex was all we did."

"It did happen a lot." "But it wasn't just sex, it never was," he argues, moving so he can face her properly and she shakes her head, looking away from him.

"We’re getting deep and personal again." "We need to talk about it." "But it's done, Cal, we can't change that, it is what it is, and it was what it was, and it was just sex," she says, looking back at him but he shakes his head. 

"But it wasn't, that party, you had this smile on your face and you were wearing my jacket and I kept thinking about how easy it could be, to just be yours, it was why I told you there was no one else because I didn't want anyone else."

"Love?" Calum's voice was soft as his fingers gently combed through her hair, slotting himself between her legs again, and she hummed in acknowledgment, still trying to catch her breath, "still with me?" He checked and she opened her eyes, finding him studying her carefully.

"I just need a minute, that was," she paused, trying to think of the right word, "fuck, that was intense," she giggled, leaning against his touch when his hand moved to her cheek, and he chuckled.

"Intense?" He raised an eyebrow at her and she rolled her eyes.

"You really need me to stroke your ego right now? Is the state I'm in not enough?" She motioned vaguely to herself and he took her hands, stepping back, pursing his lips as he made a dramatic show of scanning her that made her giggle.

"You do look wrecked," he agreed, stepping back closer to her, placing her hands on his shoulders, and dropping his to her thighs.

"Great, it's not like I need to walk out of here looking presentable," she laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck, "is it really that bad?"

"Well, now that you stopped panting," he joked and she playfully slapped his chest.

"Fuck you," she pouted and he smirked at her.

"We already did that," he laughed, making her groan.

"Oh my god," she rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but smile as he leaned down, giving her lips a quick peck.

"It's not that bad," he said, smoothing his hands over her hair, making her laugh, before cupping her cheeks and kissing her, more gently than he had all night, making her stomach flip as she melted into him.

"Great," she giggled, taking his hands, "help me down," she asked and he stepped back as she jumped off the counter, steadying her when she stood straight before she let go of his hands, turning to the mirror behind her. It definitely wasn't as bad as she expected, her makeup was still in place and her hair was fixable, the only big problem was the marks on her collarbone that were already turning purple, "really?" She complained, glancing at him while her fingers traced the marks and he chuckled.

"Is not my fault you bruise this easily," he said, sheepishly, and she leaned forward to get closer to the mirror, wiping the corner of her eyes and combing her fingers through her hair, smoothing it around her head and directing it forward trying to cover the hickeys without seeming too obvious and she could feel him watching her.

"I think that if we don't stay much longer I can get away without anyone thinking I was fucked in the bathroom," she joked, smoothing her dress, and turning to him, "what do you think?" 

"I think you're right," he agreed, stepping closer to her and she smiled up at him, "but still," he shrugged his jacket off, and placed it around her shoulders.

"Thanks," she said, pulling her arms through the sleeves, and folding them up so she could use her hands.

"Lena," he started and she looked up at him.

"Yeah?" 

"I haven't slept with anyone else either," he scratched the back of his neck, "since we started doing this," he adjusted the collar of the jacket for her while she studied his face. He looked almost nervous and that made her stomach flip, a smile fighting its way to her face, as his hands moved her hair, "I just thought I should mention it… since we were fighting and you said I wouldn't mind if you got with someone else and I—" he mumbled, his fingers twisting the ends of her hair and she cut him.

"Sweetheart, I'm not planning on sleeping with anyone else," she said, fighting the urge to add fuck, say you want to be with me for real I'll never look at anyone else again because it wasn't like she had any interest in being with someone else. Not if she could be with him. 

"Great, I wouldn't… I wasn't either," he said, face softening and she smiled up at him.

"Okay," she nodded, standing on her tiptoes, cupping his cheeks and kissing him, his hands resting on her waist, "we really should get out of here though," she giggles, nodding her head to the door.

"In a minute," he said, leaning in to kiss her again, her arms wrapping around his neck while his hands pulled her closer, "you wanna go back to the hotel now?" 

"Let's go," she nodded, pulling away from him. He looked like he wanted to say something else and she eyed him curiously but he seemed to decide against it, taking her hand and unlocking the door.

"I hate that I actually convinced you that it was just about the sex for me, there was always this moment, right before we fell asleep, that I would pull you closer and you would make this happy little sound and settle against me, and for a while, nothing else mattered, not shitty interviews or bad reviews or how fucking exhausting that tour was."

"I had had that thought before," she mumbles, chewing on her bottom lip and he frowns at her. 

"What thought?"

"I had wondered if you were only with me because I was there, proximity, familiarity, whatever, it's why I believed you, I had thought about it, you just confirmed it," she explains, watching his face turn to something close to devastation before sighing and adding, "and for me, it was the mornings when you were still half asleep pulling me back when I tried to move, and for a few seconds I could let myself pretend you loved me."

"I did," he starts but stops, shaking his head as he does, like that wasn't what he wants to say, and taking a deep breath, "I do love you, Lena," he finally says, firmly, gaze locked on hers, but she must've look unconvinced, because he adds, "me being an idiot doesn't change how I feel. I was scared because it was you and you were my best friend and things were so easy but they were also so fragile and I didn't want to be the one that got left, so I just gave up."

"Why are you telling me this?" Lena asks, and he gives her a sad smile, running his knuckles along her jaw.

"Because you won't remember it in the morning."

"And if I do?"

"It will still be true, and you will have listened to it without slamming a door in my face."

"I only tried to slam a door in your face once," she complains and he chuckles, but his face is serious again after a few seconds.

"Do you believe me?" 

"I don't know, this is hard, you know? With everything that happened, I… I don't know what to think, and you stopped saying it," she tries to explain but that just makes Calum frown.

"Saying what?" 

"That you loved me. When we started sleeping together, you stopped saying it."

"Because—"

"Because it would mean more than it did before it all happened, I know," she interrupts, dropping her hand to his knee when he continues to frown, "it's why I stopped saying it too. You do understand how this is for me, right? You loved me, but not enough to fight for me, I didn't hear that for years and then you dropped that on me after I left you on a literal storm and I don't know if this is about me—"

"Or me just wanting you to be there, I get it, if you start thinking about it, you circle back to what I said," he nods, pressing his lips together and she sighs.

"Yeah." 

"That's what freaked you out that day." 

It's not a question, but she nods anything, and that just makes him look sad.

"You want me to go find Andy for you?" He offers, and it takes her by surprise.

"No."

"You want me to leave?"

"No." 

"What do you want?"

"I'm too drunk to trust my own judgment," she says, leaning into him, reaching for his arm on the seat behind her and placing it around her shoulders, making him chuckle and pull her closer to him. She adjusts against him, placing her legs across his lap, hiding her face on his neck, and letting out a sigh as she breathes him in and he rests his other arm on her knees.

"Cal?" She mumbles as she closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his skin under her cheek, and he hums in acknowledgment, wrapping his arms around her, "don't give up on me just yet," she says, her lips grazing his neck, and his arms tighten around her.

"Not planning on it, love."

[not-your-fucking-kacchan]

Hi you really don’t have to do this…… anyway I’ve been told I act like near from death note so could you do a mha x child male reader where the reader acts like near from death note like he pulls out toys in the middle of class stacks cups at lunch and is very quiet and stuff oh yeah could you make it class 1-A + Aizawa maybe other teachers in there too sorry if it’s too specific

Ofc! I haven't gotten that far into death note yet so I had to watch a Near compilation on YouTube, so I hope I got a good enough grasp of him in that time lol

Also I'm describing you as antisocial rather than shy, because near didn't strike me as the shy stuttering pushover type, and seemed just withdrawn or disinterested, and I also high-key headcanon izuku may have ADHD. I will not elaborate <3.

Masterlist<3

𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬 1𝐀 𝐱 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐞!𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

It draws a few sets of eyes every time you pull out a pack of tarot cards or dice to play with in the middle of class, but noone really got distracted as long as you were quiet enough. Though, a few times you've knocked over a power ranger or transformer doll while taking notes and drawn the classes attention.

During break on your second week of school, you find yourself approached by the 'bakusquad'. Kirishima introduces himself politely and mina stares in awe at your tarot collection, but Bakugou looks livid.

He doesn't expect you to meet his glare directly with an unamused stare, and he's a second away from lunging at you and taking it as a challenge before Kaminari and Kirishima simultaneously bonk him in the head.

"Dude you don't even know him, give him a chance!"

You can't stop yourself from raising an eyebrow at the statement, figuring that these two must be the perfect balance for Bakugou's... Overbearing personality.

The next thing that catches your attention is the green haired boy that joins into the conversation, quietly asking you a question with a cute tilt of his head. "Have you maybe got ADHD? I've just seen a few of the signs on you- It's perfectly okay if you do! You won't be looked at differently!"

You already like this one, he's so precious.

Your eyes look straight into his as he studies you, and it's very intriguing to watch the gears turn in his head while he figures you out like some sort of puzzle. You could definitely get along with him. "No, I don't believe so."

He seems a little surprised by your words, but then again, you very well may have ADHD. You were never allowed to get tested for it, because your parents refused. Without a diagnosis, they can pretend there's nothing "wrong" with you.

He studies your eyes, figuring that you may have an irregular sleep schedule from the dark circles under your eyes, and that your eyes seem to be very sensitive to light because of how wide your pupils are. It's almost unnerving, to be honest. Your eyes look almost fully black.

Over the next few days you're scolded a few times by Aizawa Sensei for being too loud when knocking over your dice or your robots, but he never once asked you to put them away. All he asked in return was for you to be a little more active in the lessons.

"You get to keep your toys as long as you answer questions and participate a little more. Does that sound fair?" You nodded, slowly backing away to walk back to your desk and wait for break to finish, but from then on, you start drawing attention to yourself.

At first the attention is unwanted, and as you sit Criss cross applesauce on your chair, playing with your tarot cards, Izuku comes to sit next to you, starting to ramble about a random hero that you don't know anything about. He's very easy to get used to, however, and you quickly become what some would call friends.

Everyone's a little creeped out by your social awkwardness, and the fact that you never seem to talk, until they start to include you more, and you're forced to make new friends.

That doesn't mean you don't have trouble opening up though, and during lunch you sit in silence with your new friends as they chatter and smile at you, stacking cups that Izuku gave you to help you focus on something other than the amount classmates you have crowding you.

It takes a few more months for even Izuku to pry anything even remotely emotional from you, and even then it only shows in the waver of your voice, but he's proud nonetheless.

He would escort you around school because he didn't want you to be alone, and after a while your newfound closeness with Izuku branches out as mina comes to join the two of you.

She gives you an absolutely radiant smile as she grabs your hand, izuku taking hold of your other side for them to both drag you away to some part of the school you're not familiar with. The warmth of their hands in yours leaves you in shock, though, and your mind blanks a little when you feel the greenette squeeze it reassuringly, a tiny, pale blush creeping into your cheeks. This feeling, it was something you wanted to feel every day. It's so warm and comforting.

[kanmom51]

I have shown Jikook and bts to my family and friends and they've told they feel like they are a couple. But then after many months where they watch different types of bts content they are saying they don't feel like they are a couple. My friends told no matter how they look they can't feel a couple vibe between them. Not because they are y/n, they are in a relationship or because they are other shippers. They told it unbiased. Similarly my family too. They after watching a lot of content are now saying they all love each other equally right... they also don't feel there's something special between jikook anymore. I wonder if we are feeling this romantic connection between them because we are surrounded by jikookers who thinks like us in sm platforms. Here on tumblr or Instagram or Twitter when we follow jikookers and reads their stuff and watch jikook contents primarily all along with people who thinks exactly like us we may continue to stick to our thought of them being a couple. But when we watch them and different bts from outside point of view without any jkkrs influence and our own bias it maybe clear there's nothing romantic between them ? I've seen a jkkr on tumblr saying this exact reason. On how they become a jkkr because her friend told her so and she watched contents with that lens but now as she's been army for sometime, she really don't think so as she feels every bond being almost equal. Now she changed her Jkk blog to ot7 blog. Will it be the case ?

How do I answer you anon?

Do I take this ask at face value, that you are innocently asking me this, or do I go with my gut feeling there is nothing innocent about this ask?

If all you do is watch compilations, and that's what got you to believe they are a couple, well I'm sure you'll find some moments with and between other members that you could use to erase Jikook.

Compilations are cute, they highlight some moments (not everything gets into said clips), but some are misleading (including some Jikook clips).

Have you watched full BTS content anon? Has your family and friends sat for the hours on end it takes to watch said content and then said what they did (if they did) - I truly doubt it.

Have you read their interviews, seen their fan sign content, including things they have said about each other, to each other?

Have your friends and family?

Have you seen JK's creations? Have your friends and family?

Tell me anon, factually, has any other of the members ever sucked on the other's ear the way JK did on JM's at the end of their RB concert in 2019?

Has any of the other members marked the other? As in given them a hickey?

I'm assuming you are ignoring JK's tattoo, going with the ridiculous explanation, anything except for face value JM tattooed on his hand for all to see.

I'm not trying to convince you of anything anon.

You are free to believe as you wish.

What I'm saying is that well formed conclusions should be based on the full picture, and not particles of it.

There is so much more to those two, and I'm not going to get into it right here, you can find it in my masterlist.

Here is just one of my many posts explaining just how different JM and JK are with each other, how different their dynamic is than with the other members:

This is a relatively old post of mine, pre memories 2020, MOTS ON:E dvd, and of course the LA, Seoul concerts and whatever we can call what's going on in LV right now.

There are many more posts on the matter you can find in my masterlist.

Like I said, everyone is free to feel as they wish, as long as they are respectful towards the members. All the members. And that means highlighting all the members bonds. What I've seen the past few days, so called ot7 accounts highlighting moments between the members, well all except for Jikook moments, well that's not being respectful towards the members. That's erasing JM and JK's bond.

And that, well, that tells me just how much they DO think that Jikook are different and are kind of spooked by it. It either threatens their ot7 agenda or it's outright homophobic. But no matter what the reason, they are trying to erase Jikook's bond, and if that's the content you are now following, the content you are showing your friends and family, well then, no wonder you think they are all the same.

[cherry-lipbalm]

double trouble. spencer reid.

4.8k words.

masterlist

where y/n pulls the short straw and has to double up with spencer.

There is a chart within the BAU: a solid, concise graph that portrays, arguably the most, vital information within the FBI. Intricately designed, Garcia and Y/N had managed to construct a comprehensible guide to who in the team was the most pleasant to share a room with. At first it was a joke, originated from a slow day of nothing but paperwork Y/N had spent in Garcia's lair. Conversations arose, and soon after so did the chart.

It's built up on categories such as conversation, tidiness, sleeping conditions and even hygiene. There are ten available points per category, and Emily loses said ten points for sleeping conditions because her snores can be heard from China. The points are the basis of the game, essential in order to rank the team individually and compile them into a list of favourability. Spencer is at the bottom of that list.

"I don't get it, I'm a delight," Spencer argued, strolling alongside Morgan up the small flight of stairs to the BAU room. Another case had forced them to prepare for the jet in 30 minutes, but Hotch and the rest of the team had very different perspectives on preparation. Especially after what he said when they entered the room.

"Okay, before we start you should know I called ahead to book a hotel and they had limited rooms. We all have one but you're going to have to double up."

Y/N had never seen an American Western movie before, but she imagined that the cliché standoff looked a lot like what happened in the BAU room subsequent to that announcement. Those that had been sitting launched to their feet, uncaring to the chairs rolling free behind them. If someone was holding something it dropped onto the table, or even the floor. Communication faltered, and all anyone dared to do was stare at each other.

When Hotch looked up from his file, he had to do a double take because of the drastic change in atmosphere. His team were all standing metres apart; Y/N had a hand over her gun.

"I think we all know what this calls for," she said.

"Get it," Morgan gestured to the back of the room. Y/N's movement caused a surge of motion as everyone sat at the table attentively. Hotch tried to turn the attention back to the screen with the crime scene photos, but even JJ was more focused on the whiteboard rolling into the room.

Y/N stood by it's side, and on her way forced Hotch into a seat. She grabbed the top corner and flipped it over to reveal the coloured array of pie charts, bullet-points and bar charts.

"I still don't see why this is necessary," Spencer whined from the back of the room.

"I don't see why you've obviously spent more time and effort on this than any of your cases," Hotch added.

"Okay, you two are just jealous because you're at the bottom of the list," Y/N snarked, then addressed the team. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today, in holy matrimony, to judge your fellow coworkers and deem who is the least likeable. Spoiler alert: it's Spencer."

At this, the aforementioned agent threw his pen directly at Y/N's head. She shrieked, then turned to him with a glare as she tried to untangle it from her hair. He laughed wholeheartedly, and the team snickered not only at Spencer's attack but the way they were so obviously and obliviously in love with each other.

"This chart makes no sense! I mean, how do I only have five points for hygiene? We all know I'm the cleanest out of everyone here."

"I agree with you Spencer," Y/N said, "your hygiene is at a ten point standard but unfortunately people don’t want to compete with said ten point standard, so that loses you five points, gorgeous.”

Spencer didn't reply (only sulked into his seat), half because he's shocked by the injustice of the chart and the other half because he's shocked Y/N just called him gorgeous.

"Alright! The hat, please," She exclaimed, enticing Spencer from his trance. Garcia presented the fedora over the table, and Y/N began talking immediately when she saw Hotch's mouth open in objection because were they really using the fedora from the unsub they caught last week?

Only four people took turns in picking names out of the hat; ever since in incident in '04 where lack of coordination made for everyone picking a name of someone who had already picked someone else. It resulted in a few brawls when Morgan wouldn't budge from his choice of Garcia even though his name had been pulled by Reid.

It never took them long to pick names out of desperation, considering the name-picking determined how the next 24 + hours were going to go. So when Y/N picked out Spencer's name, no one blamed her when she practically collapsed to the floor.

"That's karma," Spencer said upon her unraveling.

"I thought you didn't believe in karma," she sneered, stomping back onto her feet.

"In situations like these it seems to be the only viable explanation."

Y/N just rolled her eyes at him on her way out of the room, muttering under her breath that she'll be briefed when she's aboard, because she needed a moment alone for a pep-talk on how murdering your colleague apparently isn't socially acceptable.

On her way out, faintly in the background, Morgan caught sight of Emily and JJ fist-bumping victoriously, and realised that Y/N's demise more than certainly involved some foul play. Oh well, he thought, it'll make for good entertainment.

———

"Science shows us that we feel more personally connected with people who have similar postures, vocal rhythms, facial expressions and even eye blinking. If you consciously sync these factors your brain activity could follow, resulting in what many people call 'clicking' wi-"

"I cannot believe you asked me why you lost seven points for conversation and then followed with that."

"What? What's wrong with science?"

"Oh, Spence, you're so gorgeous but so oblivious," Y/N sighed, exhausted from a mixture of jet lag and Spencer's enthusiastic take on the science of conversation. They had only just stepped foot in the room, and she was already drained from the mere thought of having to bunk with him for the next however many hours.

Y/N is quick to throw her things down as soon as they enter the room. She dumps her suitcase by the door and launches a few more things on the cabinets around her, then tries to ignore Spencer's sounds of distaste as she does this. She's frankly too tired to care, and jumps onto the bed without thinking; she's so enervated she doesn't even realise there's only the one bed.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" Spencer suddenly asks despite the silence that passed and the obvious fact that Y/N is trying to get some shut eye.

All he receives is an incomprehensible mumble from under the pillows, but he takes it as a response anyway.

"Why do you keep, uh, keep calling me 'gorgeous' I mean, I'm not, uh..." he stammers, fidgeting with the room key in his hands while he stands in front of the wardrobe to make it seem like he's doing something and doesn't care as much as he does.

"I'd say it's pretty self explanatory."

He senses the fatigue in her voice, so just leaves it with a shrug of his shoulders and a content smile, then goes to organising his array of sweater vests onto the hangers. When he's done with this, he turns around to make himself a coffee; taking a different approach to the jet lag than Y/N.

At the thought of her, he looks up to see her sprawled out across the bed. She's clutching onto a pillow and seems so relaxed that Spencer has to look away for a moment because he's more than certain he shouldn't be seeing a coworker like this. Nevertheless, he smiles upon her peaceful ambience, and hopes the boiling kettle doesn't disturb her too much.

When it's done brewing, Spencer sips the coffee cautiously and strides over to a small chair in the corner of the room. Here, Y/N's slumped figure is directly in his view, so he can't help but see her so casually on the bed. Wait, the bed... oh shit.

He knows that the chances of him getting the bed are slim. For one, Y/N's pretty much already claimed that territory, and, even if she hadn't, Spencer knew she'd put up one hell of a fight for it. He only hoped there were some extra blankets and pillows that could aid in making the floor at least somewhat comfortable.

"So, uh, Rock Paper Scissors for the bed?" He asks, then slurps his coffee. His voice rouses Y/N for a moment, and he's sure she's dozed back off again until his words sink in and she turns around to him with bleary eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"One bed. Two people," he says nervously and gestures to the space between them.

And it takes Y/N a moment. She looks from Spencer to the bed, then stares at the pillows for a long while, then she looks at Spencer again, then the bed. Then, she lets out a blood-curdling cry so loud that Reid has to cover his ears.

"Why!" She screams, slamming her hands down on the mattress. Spencer can't help but laugh, snickering behind his hand which only infuriates Y/N more.

"Okay, okay!" He moves to calm her down when he can practically see the steam coming out of her ears, "rock paper scissors, come on."

"Oh, I don't want to do that, Spence," she whines.

"Why? 'Cause you know you'll lose?" With his patronisation he raises an eyebrow at her when he approaches the end of the bed, his fist already raised. His condescension makes Y/N irrefutably stubborn, and she knows he's doing it on purpose -because he always does- but she doesn't care when it means she has a chance to beat Spencer at something.

"Fine," she grumbles. She sweeps the hair from her face and sits up straight, shuffling to the end of the bed and letting her legs dangle down; they brush against Spencer's own and he clears his throat amid the contact.

The slap of her fist against her palm indicates the beginning of the game. Y/N knows that she's unlikely to win, because Spencer is bound to have calculated some sure-fire plan to succeed in every round of Rock Paper Scissors.

This is why, when Spencer pulls paper and she pulls scissors, she screams in delight.

"No," Spencer says bluntly, then demands, "best out of three."

"Oh no," she chuckles, "it's never been that way before, it isn't now, gorgeous."

Spencer throws his head back in a groan, kneeling on the floor in defeat. He stays there because he figures he ought to become acquainted with it.

———

When nighttime rolls around, Y/N is pretty excited. She's already texted the BAU group chat a record seventeen times about the matter, yet somehow the team hasn't gotten sick of it thus far, and may even be more exhilarated than she is. It's the one good thing to come out of sharing a room with Spencer: that she gets to watch him wiggle in discomfort on his makeshift bed of blankets and pillows on the floor.

Except, when it comes down to it, it isn't that fun at all.

He's wriggling, yes, but it's doesn't exactly fulfil her with any satisfaction; if anything, it's just sad. He struggles to reach any form, never mind pinnacle, of relaxation, and Y/N actually feels pretty guilty at the subordination. So when the clock hits midnight and she's still hearing Spencer grunting when he hits a certain incessant bump in the carpet, she gives in and sits up.

Upon the sudden sound of bedsheets rustling, Spencer freezes because he thinks he's going to get shouted at, but it's the opposite that scares him even more.

"Do you want to get in bed?" Her voice sounds, the hush penetrating through the air.

Immediately Spencer rises; he wants nothing more than to take her up on her offer, but he is, unfortunately, chivalrous.

"No, no, it's okay," he whispers back, already delving back under his covers.

"Spencer. Just take the bed, I can't sleep with you tossing and turning," she says, hoping the complaint will cover up her caring behaviour.

"Be careful, Y/L/N, it almost sounds like you care."

"Shut up, do you want the bed or not?"

"I do but, unlike you, I'm actually a good person and wouldn't want to see you lying on the floor-"

"Uh, I'm offering you the bed, aren't I? That's gotta earn me some brownie points," she remarked, now having turned on a lamp. "Besides, if you're that bothered about it, we'll just share."

This makes Spencer stop: his torso is turned abnormally in his angle to see Y/N behind him, the blankets feebly draping across him show the Doctor Who shirt he's wearing, and his hair is a tousled mess that Y/N just knows will take him hours to fix in the morning. Well, that was tomorrow's problem, she contemplated, right now the issue lied in who, if either of them, was going to sleep on the floor.

"Uh, share? You.. uh, you really wanna do that?"

"As long as you don't snore, or kick; whats the harm?"

Spencer avoids dumping information about the harm of them sleeping together: how this kind of physical contact releases oxytocin, a chemical compound in the brain that exhibits feelings of empathy, trust, relaxation and even reduces anxiety. He saves her this because it's just past midnight and he doubts she wants to hear about the scientific risk of them growing to like each other.

"Oh, okay," he agrees instead. He clambers up from his pile of blankets and clutches a pillow to his chest while he stumbles over. Y/N shuffles to one side and pulls the duvet back, and he's more than happy to get under warm, comfy sheets.

"Let me just make something clear," Y/N says while Spencer adjusts into the pillows. He doesn't do this for long because one is snatched from under his head. When he moves to object, he sees it being planted next to his arm, creating a definite border between them.

"Your side, my side," Y/N says sternly, "that clear?"

"Crystal."

———

It's around three am when Y/N stirs awake. At first she can't grasp what's roused her, but then she hears a noise, and assumes there's got to be some construction going on outside because what she hears is alike to the humming of machinery. When she gains a reasonable amount of consciousness, she realises the sound is a bit too close to home.

Her hand reaches out across the bed, and when she accidentally whacks Spencer on the chest, she worries she's awoken him, until the noise starts again and it's here she discovers it's coming from him.

Oh shit, she thinks, please don't tell me my co-worker is having a sex dream while I'm lying right next to him.

He isn't, but Y/N isn't sure the reality is any better.

The moaning sound he first emitted has progressed into some sort of panicked grunt, accompanied by occasional whines. Soon, his body is flinching away from an invisible force.

Y/N knows it's probably best to leave it, that if she wakes him up he might be too confused and scared, he'll be disoriented, but when he starts screaming, she doesn't have anything else to resort to.

"Spence, Spencer! Wake up, hey," she shakes him, and he's awake in seconds. Sitting up straight, Y/N sees him hitting things that aren't there; it's only when she turns the light on that he eventually calms down.

"I'm sorry," he croaks immediately. Then his head is in his hands as he leans on his knees, and Y/N is overcome with a feeling completely foreign to her in regard to Spencer: empathy.

"Don't be, it-... it's okay," her voice takes a calm turn, and she even puts a hand on his back because anything that happens after three am is as good as forgotten anyway.

"You were right, I'm sorry," Spencer mutters. "This'll lose me ten points for sleeping conditions, huh?"

His attempt at cracking a joke does make Y/N smile, but even he can tell it's one of pity.

"Don't be silly. Do you want to, uh, talk about it?"

"I just wanna sleep," he sighs, and falls back into the pillows. Y/N creases her brows in sympathy, then lies down next to him; she stares at the ceiling for a while, and the steadying of Spencer's breathing makes her think he fell asleep a while ago, so she leans to turn off the lamp before his voice breaks the silence.

"Can you keep the light on?"

His sudden ask makes Y/N jump, but she steadies under the softness of Spencer's voice. When she turns to him his eyes are barely open, but he can see the benevolent smile she's giving him; something he rarely sees from Y/N.

"Of course," she says, then lies back down into the indent she's made in the bed.

"Thanks," he replies, and Y/N notices this is the least she's ever heard Spencer talk.

"You know," she starts, "it's not silly to be afraid of the dark; it's basic human instinct. I mean, it's evolution: humans have a... a tendency to be afraid of the dark, our visual sense vanishes and we can't detect anything around us. It's primal instinct, or... something, I guess."

At the end of her ramble, she's afraid she's sent Spencer to sleep, because he's gone uncharacteristically placid, but -yet again- he surprises her.

"Now who's losing points for conversation?"

Y/N's laugh after this is so hearty and genuine that Spencer can't help but smile, grin even. His chest rumbles with a chuckle, and Y/N feels the mattress shake under their collaboration of laughter, when it dies down they're both still beaming.

"Maybe I've been hanging around you too much," she declares. It's a jab, but her cheek rests against the pillow when she turns her head to him because her smile is so wide, and Spencer reciprocates; the act is unfamiliar to the pair, but warming nonetheless.

When it goes silent, Y/N doesn't expect to sleep at all. The Pavlov affect of the light being on tricks her brain into thinking she should be wide awake (something she learnt from Spencer), so she lies there patiently; hands intertwined resting on her chest. She twiddles her thumbs, almost as if she's waiting for something to happen.

"I'm sorry you have nightmares," she mutters.

Spencer's eyes flutter open, and she goes to make another apology, this time for waking him, but he clears his throat so she lets him take the lead.

"S'Not your fault, I just, I don't know. I get these dreams, these weird dreams - ever since I was a kid. I guess they just... developed into nightmares since I joined the BAU," he mumbles. "We see some pretty bad stuff."

Y/N hums, "we do, don't we?"

Her speech doesn't warrant a response, so Spencer just smiles again and they both silently call it a night. Reid is asleep in seconds, which Y/N finds admirable, while she stays still for a while. The way the orange light is bouncing off Spencer's physique makes him look like he's centre stage of an oil painting. The detail she's gaining of his pores and his eyelashes from being so close to him is both daunting and beautiful at the same time. His resting body reminds her of the pieces on display in an art exhibit Spencer dragged her along to one day last autumn. She wonders if he took anyone else to that exhibit, and hopes he didn't.

She soundlessly admires the rise of his chest: the melody of his breathing amid the chagrin of an occasional nose whistle. His hair, once a foreseeable inconvenience, is now an abundance of, what Y/N can only describe as, natural radiance; it's all curls and frizz and length that she's begged him to never lay a hand on. She can't help but run a hand through it. When she does, it's a lot softer than she expected and makes her think, wow I've really got to find out what conditioner he is using while she's untangling any knots she comes across. It only results in more frizz but he'll gel it back with product in the morning (much to Y/N's disappointment).

The noise he exudes when Y/N scratches his scalp makes her heart melt immediately. It is the sound of innocence wrapped up in a ball of revere, the way it comes from his chest and catches in the back of his throat in a small, naive whine. Then he subconsciously curls into her hold and is practically purring when she continues to scrape her fingernails gently across his head.

The ambivalence of it all is what makes Y/N stop. Spencer Reid isn't the kind of guy she ever anticipated to have a crush on. He didn't fit into the pattern of her list of exes, not even one feature of him came close to anything of her usual type. Where she'd normally be taken to movies and dinners, Spencer ventured with her to museums, public symposiums, art exhibits. Y/N can't resist fondly reminiscing on a library trip they took last week that resulted in them checking out each of their favourite books for one another. And while, on paper, this was romantic and harmonious, they were strictly platonic. Barely that; they took the piss out of each other at every opportunity, not even always as a joke. Y/N had collapsed in sorrow when she pulled his name out of the hat.

But the smile on Spencer's face... his serene expression and soft hair makes Y/N's knees weak for a totally different reason. And she figures this feeling trumps whatever feigned resentment she has been portraying over the years.

Fine, she thought, stubborn as always when it came to Spencer, I'll tell him when he wakes up. She began to bask in the peace that came before whatever storm could potentially riot tomorrow when she told Spencer how she felt. She guessed she had at least a few hours to relish in their friendship and the love they had built.

She guessed wrong.

Spencer's eyes were fluttering open before Y/N had even began conjuring up what she was going to say. Unfortunately, when she made a plan she stuck to it; she was beginning to see why her stubbornness could be such an unattractive quality.

Spencer squinted harshly with the light, and the first thing he managed to see clearly was the discreet panic in Y/N's eyes. He took a quick survey of the room to eliminate what visible factors that could reason her alarm; when he ruled out any unsub with a gun to her head, he relaxed.

Rubbing his eyes, he looked to the window, and it didn't seem to be daylight yet.

"Haven't you been to sleep?" He asked, more than prepared to educate her in the necessities of getting a good night's rest.

"Not yet. You've only been out a few minutes," she said softly, retracting her hand from his locks. Here, Spencer realised he didn't like the feeling of Y/N's absence.

"Oh," he hummed, "I was dreaming. I think Darth Vader was there..."

Y/N chuckled lightheartedly, "of course he was."

Spencer seemed willing to remain awake, but time was limited and Y/N wasn't sure when he'd be dozing off again. So, she made her move.

"Listen, I wasn't going to say anything until morning but, you're awake so I may as well tell you now..."

He's visibly intrigued; with a quirked eyebrow and digging the knuckle-joint of his finger in a rubbing motion in the corner of his eye to try and gain some sense of vivacity. Still, all he can respond with is a drone.

"And I don't want this to, I don't know, freak you out? Or to make anything awkward, so if it does, we can just... pretend this never happened, okay? I mean it."

This manages to obtain Y/N the attention she needs, because, without delay, Spencer has both eyes open and his eyebrows are knitted together in mostly concern. Now, with his eager expression, Y/N wishes he had stayed nonchalant.

"What's wrong?"

"I just... I guess. I mean, I like you? I think? I know, really. I just - you're not like any other guy, and I like that, that's a good thing! I mean, what other guy knows how to build a rocket and make a coin appear behind your ear?"

Spencer chuckles, and his eyes are wide and bright like he's been suddenly granted passage to a whole new world. Mouth agape with wonder, he's like a child being told he can finally play on the big-kid swings: buzzing with excitement and anticipation, just like said rockets he launches and gets in trouble with Hotch for.

"You mean like this?" He asks and leans forward to brandish a dime from behind Y/N's earlobe.

"Okay, like, who does that!" She screeches way too loudly for three am. When she clasps a hand over her mouth Spencer chortles and slowly removes her grasp. He's timid, so initially only presses a chaste kiss to her knuckles, then feels the ambience in the room shift; suddenly everything has devolved from blushing antics and stumbles of words to serenity in a matter of seconds.  

Spencer's pecks adhere to Y/N's hands, lingering on the skin of her knuckles and occasionally peppering to her palms. It isn't until a few kisses later that he brings himself to move closer, and even here his courage only brings him to her cheek.

When the corner of his lips press lustfully upon her face, Y/N doesn't hesitate in turning her head ever so slightly. His lips part, and he breaks away to glance at her and make sure this isn't all one big misunderstanding. But her gaze is matched to his mouth, and soon her lips. In a fumble to close the (already compact) space between them, the kiss they share is warm and breathy, it's passionate and lewd, especially with the arrangement in which Spencer places his hands: cupping one side of her face and the placing the other at her neck so he can rest his fingertips in the hold atop Y/N's spine.

Wherever his fingers touch leaves a trail of goosebumps which Y/N hopes never diminish; she wants every piece of evidence she can muster of Spencer's caresses, however this changes when Spencer's lips begin on the formidable task of her neck.

"Stop," she pants, and the hands that had inevitably reached his hair again are now pushing slightly on his shoulders. Her request makes Spencer drop his hands immediately.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"No, you didn't. It was nice. I just, I don't want everyone to see," she gestured to the red patch that had already formed above her clavicle where Spencer had only been nibbling a moment prior.

"Right, yeah," he breathed. A giddy smile forced its way onto his face when he looked at the way Y/N's lips had reddened and become swollen, especially her bottom (now essentially permanent) pout originated from the persistence of Spencer's tendency to drag his teeth along her lip and enclose it in a bite.

"You know, I predicted this would happen. Scientifically, people are a lot more likely to be attracted to one another after sleeping together. Subconsciously, we feel more capable in our ability to trust that person because we've been so vulnerable and open in a compromising position. The oxytocin we get from sharing physical contact like that is the same we produce in an orgasm."

"Oh," Y/N squeaked, while Spencer lay there with a proud smile on his face, not really registering the effect he'd had on her by using the word 'orgasm'.

"Oxytocin is heavily released during kissing too, so... I guess we're pretty bonded."

Y/N chuckled, smiling at his blushed cheeks. "I guess we are."

"It's, uh, it's actually also called the 'cuddle hormone' because it's primarily recognised as being released during hugging.”

"And that's your way of asking me if I want to cuddle?"

Spencer's smile was unmissable: shifting nervously between tight-lipped and beaming wide, his eyes were the only part of his countenance that stilled; locked on Y/N.

"Yes, I, uh, I believe it is."

She tried to suppress her grin, but it was no use.

"Big spoon or little spoon?" She asked.

"Oh, little spoon... obviously."

fin.

[that-lame-ghoul9000]

IZZY'S NAVIGATION AND INSISTENT RAMBLINGS🧭

There's a lot here in this little area. I'm sorry. Over the next few days I HOPE to have it all neatly put together.

Who I'll write for:

This list is scheduled to change at anytime. I write for characters I like who I feel comfortable writing for. If you don't see a character you like still feel free to ask me and I can point you in the direction of some great blogs who do write for them. I can do fluff and angst. I am still joining the world of writing smut but I don't have a problem with writing it.

-izzy

Harry Potter-

• Harry Potter

• Fred Weasley

• George Weasley

• Draco Malfoy

Stranger Things-

• Steve Harrington

• Eddie Munson

What I am comfortable writing:

• Angst  ◇

• Fluff  ♧

• Smut ♡ -Minors DNI. This is an 18+ blog. While I realize I can't stop you from reading it, be respectful of my boundaries and do not interact. And do not take any of what I write as any form of sexual education.

⚠️ In regards to Fred and George Weasley I will flat out state now that I WILL NOT write twincest. So don't ask.

🥳I am currently trying to compile a Prompt List for those 3 categories. If you have any you'd like to see feel free to send them to me in a PM or in an Ask. I also realize I accidentally shut my Annons off. I'm working to fix that. I currently do everything from my phone as my laptop went to the Electronic Bridge in the sky. May it rest in peace.😌

A little ABOUT ME:

I go by many names but the name I'd prefer is, Izzy. As I don't want to run the risk of anyone I know finding this. Writing is very personal for me. And my writing was always shut down or made fun of from family/relationships growing up. I have had work submitted when I was in school (anonymously cause she a shy bitch) I go by She/Her pronouns. I've only published 3 actual pieces of work. But I want to do more. I love writing and it's always made me happy. Unfortunately my ADHD brain can't focus long (which is why prompts would help exponentially) and the mean part of my brain wants to remove things immediately before AND after I post it because I'm afraid people won't like it

Ie: screaming "IM A FRAUD" at a 3 part series that I've finished. But I keep going back because I'm not happy with Part 3. So now it's been 4 months and I have people asking "uh where is it" (sorry I've left you in the ASK dungeon) It's a battle rn.

~~~~🐈‍⬛~~~~🎃~~~~🦇~~~~

I AM a safe place. You can always come to me for support. While I love Harry Potter and will write for it, I do not believe or agree with the horrible things the author has said.

Know that I love you all for who you are. You matter. You are valid. And you are heard here.

🏳️‍🌈

🌜Izzy, Over and Out🌛

MASTERLIST

Ask Me

Prompt List

Requests: OPEN/CLOSED