#I can't afford to move to a place with better career options. I can't afford to go back to school.

[emometalhead]

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[dreadsuitsamus]

Study Buddy | Renji Abarai x Reader |

author's note: i came up with this idea a little while back while talking with @yeowangies and i finally actually wrote it lol

pairing: renji abarai x fem!reader

warnings: nsfw, no explicit smut but there is nudity and the intentions are very clear, renji and reader are students at the shinigami academy

"Your Kidō is awful." Your observation isn't exactly breaking news, though it irks Renji to hear it all the same as his lips flatten into a tight line.

"Thanks." He says finally, pouting at the remains of what was next to the intended target of his Shakkahō.

Your little sigh serves to dishearten him further and he kicks at the singed wood his misguided Shakkahō destroyed. Renji's brilliant in all other aspects of the academy, and it's true that he doesn't have to be a Kidō master to join the Gotei 13, unlike your expectations to join the Kidō Corps, but you'd certainly feel better about your friend's chances as a living, breathing Shinigami if his Kidō improved to more than a hardly passable level.

"Go on, show me how it's done!" Renji plops down beside you, gesturing to his untouched target. You're a goddamn master, it's absolutely certain you'll be a high-ranking Shinigami by the end of your career.

"Renji." You murmur to your classmate, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. He's been strung out since Rukia's sudden exit from the academy, and with the upcoming Kidō exam that'll threaten his spot at the top of the class, he's been much snippier than usual.

The redhead shrugs you off, staring a hole into the wall with a deathly glare. Hurt penetrates your chest, only a tad, and you push up onto your feet and level a neat, textbook-perfect, enchantless Shakkahō to the target. The Reiryoku in you is even, controlled and tight and made for Kidō, whereas with Renji, his talent lies in strength and power that overwhelms, rather than outsmarts. Renji scoffs behind you, frustration pushing his lips in a permanent frown as his brows draw together.

"Let's try something else." You turn to him, the gears in your head turning as you consider your options. He'll never get it right with this frustration caking his mind; a distraction may just work.

His dark eyes flick your way, squinting as he contemplates what in the world you've come up with. You're a crafty little minx on the regular and he can never get a read on you, no matter how hard he tries. "What did you have in mind?"

"Come with me." Your smile breaks his sulky reverie just a bit, and his lips crack upwards just a tad as he follows you away from the academy grounds.

Your dorm apartment is nice, and the bit of nepotism that's been sprinkled on you by your family's own connections has afforded you something quiet and perfect for your plan for this study session. "Let's just start on the incantations, okay? Getting those right goes a long way. No Reiryoku required."

Renji puffs out a bored sigh, leaning against the plush cushion of the armchair he usually claims as his own whenever he's invited over. "Fine."

"C'mon, lighten up." Setting down the cup of tea you've brewed, you take your place on the loveseat across from him. "Recite the incantation for Shakkahō."

Renji groans, hiding his face in his hands. The spell itself is useful, though not particularly strong. Most Shinigami shouldn't need the incantation for a powerful strike, yet he can't even fire the move off correctly for even a weak blast. "This is torture."

"This is how you pass with top marks, Renji! Forgo the pride for a little bit and just do it. This is the easy part!"

Red in the face, Renji screws his eyes shut and begins to grumble out the incantation. "Ye lord, mask of blood and flesh… all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man. Inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, march on to the south. Hadō #33. Shakkahō."

"See? Told you it was easy." You slip the sash of your uniform off, draping it over the back of the couch as Renji opens his eyes again.

"The incantations were never the problem. It's always been using them where I struck out."

"Your pride won't let you utter the incantation spell, and your lack of control is what forces it to spiral like it does. Master it now, in academy, and when you graduate and join the Gotei 13, it'll be behind you. Isn't that what you're after?"

His cheeks are as crimson as your uniform at your scolding, flushed with embarrassment at this whole thing. You're right, obviously, but it's still hard to accept. "Of course it is."

"Then recite the incantation for Sōkatsui for me, please." Your eyes catch his, and you find it difficult to truly focus on the task at hand when his deep voice and soft-looking lips curl around each word of the spell.

Renji frowns, confusion warping his brow to raise as the fabric of your uniform slips past your shoulders and pools down to your waist, leaving you in your undershirt and trousers now. That's twice now you've stripped a bit of your uniform away: what are you up to?

"Bakudō #9. Geki."

Renji swipes his thumb over his bottom lip, the words that activate the spell alluding him as his eyes begin appreciating the curve of your breast in that shirt. It's not often he's seen you in anything but your academy uniform, and he's quickly warming to the idea of whatever you're up to.

"Disintegrate…" Renji frowns, his eyes clouding as you tease your finger along the neckline of the undershirt, giving a proper yet brief glimpse of the cleavage beneath. He bites his lip, losing himself in the perverse nature he tries to hide.

Panic rises in him as you begin to raise the overshirt of your uniform and it starts slipping back up to your shoulders, concealing the very thing he's trying to get a better look of: you. "H-Hey! Cut it out!"

You pause, gazing at him through your lashes with a sultry grin. "Bakudō #9. Geki."

"Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini! Look upon yourself with horror and then claw out your own throat! Bakudō #9. Geki!" He's never spoken so quickly in his entire life.

You quite enjoy the desperation in his voice, in his body even as he tenses up in the prayers that he's done it right, that you'll reveal everything you've teased to him. He's warm beneath the layers of his academy uniform, the thrumming of his heart vibrating his entire body in wicked anticipation— he's never studied like this before, that's for damn sure.

You allow the fabric to fall again, and now you stand, hooking your thumbs into the red trousers the academy assigned you upon entry. You've certainly got his attention now, showing off the thin lines of your panties hugging your hips, and you'd laugh if not for the fear that it'd break Renji's concentration. "I see you've got a new appreciation for studying Kidō now?"

"Oh, I definitely appreciate somethin'." Renji's fingers itch and his husky voice sends a thrill down your spine as he bunches the fabric of his trousers to satiate even the slightest bit of the desire his bones harbor. To not leap across this room and jump you takes all of his control as a man, but as a gentleman he refrains: it's all about consent, and right now he's only got permission to look.

"Then give me another incantation. Surprise me. Impress me."

Those warm, brown eyes shut as he thinks as hard as he can, roaming every inch of his brain for the perfect spell to make you proud of him, and just as importantly, strip down even more for him.

"Renji…" You purr and step towards him, caging him in with one knee on either side of his lithe frame while your hands slowly work your undershirt over your tummy, stopping just below your otherwise bare breasts and pressing the soft, curvaceous, tempting flesh against him.

The much taller man shakes beneath you, feeling crushed by your breast on his chest while also light as air and flying freely into the abyss of no return, his long fingers gripping your baggy trousers as his pleading eyes shine at you like a sinner begging for salvation. "I can't…" He whispers, tugging and kneading the bright crimson of your uniform.

"You can." You coo gently, leveling your lips to his ear to whisper nothing but filth to him. "All I need is one spell, Abarai, and it's all yours. Don't you want to see my breasts? Or touch them?"

A bead of sweat trickles down, starting at the pulsing vein in his temple and all the way down his slender, seized jaw and neck. Kidō is not his strong suit, you know this— how can you expect a miracle from him?? There's a loud, resounding tick pounding at his skull; whether it's a clock or bomb is unknown to him. But the end result is largely the same either way: no Kidō, no titties.

"Seeping crest of turbidity, arrogant vessel of lunacy, boil forth and deny! Grow numb and flicker! Disrupt sleep! Crawling queen of iron! Eternally self-destructing doll of mud! Unite! Repulse! Fill with soil and know your own powerlessness! Hadō #90. Kurohitsugi!"

Where the hell did he learn that one?? He doesn't have a prayer of ever performing it; I may never be able to do it!

"You certainly know your way around a shirt." You hum into his ear before pulling back only so far, your nimble fingers quickly raising the hem of your shirt up and off entirely, and oh if the way Renji's eyes bulge out of his head upon viewing your bare breasts could be caught on film, your ego would be satiated for a century.

"Woah…" The stupid, lopsided grin on his lips makes way for his tongue darting out to wet them, and his eyes can't decide which breast to focus on as they flick back and forth so quickly, you're not sure how he's actually seeing anything.

"Do you want to touch?" You play with his hair absentmindedly, twirling a few thick, crimson locks around your fingers as you inch your chest just a little closer to his face, tempting him to take a bite.

"C-Can I?!"

"Sure. If—" You pull back, hands on your chest to sully his otherwise perfect view. Even with the loose uniform you can see the raging boner beneath his clothes, and it's difficult not to give in to your own desires and have that aching, eager cock inside of you now. But this is all to help Renji pass the Kidō exam, after all, so you'll have to allow patience to grace you this time. "You pass that exam."

Two weeks later, you're met with a very smug classmate at your door, holding up a paper boldly declaring his barely but acceptable passing grade.

[scientia-rex]

lol I just saw a comment that's probably old on my post about how dramatic weight loss is not an attainable goal for most people that said "stop normalizing obesity"

honey! I didn't make obesity more common. You know who did? The people who looked at industries that poured pollution into the world and knew it was going to hurt us and put their effort and their energy into getting away with hurting people rather than fixing their industries.

I don't believe that we all just got lazier or less moral or whatever it is you think leads to fatness. I think the world is less healthy and those changes are directly attributable to the greed of a few. Why do we drive places instead of walking or taking public transit? Why do we have so many unhealthy food options? Why is there microplastic in our blood? It's not because I'm out here eating milk jugs and credit cards!

Endocrinologically active pollutants, poorly designed cities and living spaces, this entire "fuck the poor" mentality, the greed of corporations that can sell us highly processed corn for a fraction of the price a filling salad would cost and with extraordinary profit margins--the willingness to exploit farm animals and farm workers alike--we don't exist in a vacuum. And any time you see a massive shift on a societal or worldwide scale, you need to stop saying it's an individual issue and start looking at what factors led to it.

So the question is, in an unhealthy world, how do I help myself? How do I live the best life that I, as someone who can't afford a private chef and a personal trainer and purified water and all-organic pesticide and growth-hormone-free food, can?

Eat plants, move around, and forgive myself for fatness, which was never a sin to begin with. Because eating plants and moving around may not "fix" my fatness, but I'll be happier and healthier while I'm fat. I'll be better able to live the life I want to live, and that's the goal; that's always the goal. Anything else--thinness, relationship, career, material possessions--is a bad proxy for happiness.

Prioritize your health and happiness, and forgive yourself, even for not being able to forgive yourself.

[living-for-fiction]

So my friend D, who has been homeless on-and-off for years, who does survival sex to keep a roof over his head, who is HIV positive and doesn't keep up with his fucking meds (istg I'm going to wring his neck) and who has gotten into hard drugs (meaning meth and heroin) is missing. Again. Last time I talked to him he swore he wasn't using, but the last time he told me he wasn't doing drugs was right after he started meth, and he's a shit liar anyway. I know he was doing drugs again. Last time I talked to him he said he had some stuff lined up with psychiatric help that he desperately needs and he was planning to stay out where he is because they have better services than our state (which I kind of doubt, but I'm not using state services so I could be entirely wrong) but that things were getting better. That was back in May. I've messaged him a few times since - calling isn't an option, since he doesn't always have a phone and he can't pay to keep the same number when he can get a phone. And according to his brother, he sold his phone.

His brother, who messaged my brother-in-law to see if we knew ANYTHING about where he might be and what's going on. My family and I do not have a good relationship with D's brother. He's a piece of shit, honestly. He beat the shit out of D when he found out D got into hard drugs despite the fact that he himself deals them. He treated D like trash when he came out. He's got a bunch of other issues that I'm not getting into because it is very much not my white ass's place to unpack his weird internalized racism... anyway, point is, dude sucks and we don't talk to him, my sister and bro-in-law only keep him around as a Facebook friend so that if something happens to D, we'll know because he'll post about it. Except now he's messaging US to see if we know anything about where D is or what's going on.

I just... fuck. At this point I'm used to not being able to get him on the phone. I'm used to sporadic contact that mostly turns into "I'm not dead." But every time it reaches this point, I do wonder if he's dead. If he OD'd, or went home with the wrong guy, or managed to get a car and thought he'd be able to turn his life around because now he could get a job, only to crash the damn thing.

There's not really anything I can do. He's an adult, he chose to go halfway across the country for some reason I don't remember, he's said he's getting help and I hope he is. But knowing what's happened before when he's dropped off the face of the earth and moved several states away with no warning, I'm very concerned for him.

If I didn't have a roommate, if I didn't need to keep having a roommate to afford my damn condo, I'd tell D to just shut the fuck up and move in with me next time I heard from him. A part of me hates that I didn't do that already. I let him crash with me for 3 weeks when he was homeless, unfortunately couldn't let him stay any longer due to rental agreement bullshit, but just...

I can't afford my home without a roommate, or I'd have offered my other room to D, I think. I can't have drugs in my home though, is the only other thing. And I don't believe him when he tells me he's clean. He's a shit liar.

I just really hope he isn't dead, that's all. I just want to hear back from him. And if he needs a place to crash for a few days I'd be happy to offer my couch, I think my roommate would be ok with that.

Most of my friends have done the upward spiral of moving up in the world. My brother-in-law got his massage therapy certification, my sister got her master's degree, other friends have gotten degrees and certifications and moved forward in life. I have too. I've been moving up in my career, in my kinda, getting experience and stuff, doing the adult thing. Buying the condo when my landlord offered to sell it to me. Very privileged to be able to do that even if I need a roommate to make the mortgage.

D hasn't been able to do that.

If I just had the means to fucking fully support myself without a roommate, I could have put D up here. I should have put D up here. I should have told him he could move in with me, everything else be damned.

I swear if we find him again, I want to be more of a resource for him. Let him stay with me for a few days, a week, I don't care. Help him find a fucking support system.

I feel helpless right now.

[mistergoddess]

never should have smoked that shit now i am dead serious going to move to nyc if It All Works Out... fuck... this is going to be Thing I Am Scared About #1 for the foreseeable future. but it's good :) it's very scary and will be very challenging with my Issues surrounding moving and major life/environment change always being a big trigger for the autismdepressiontrauma megacombo but umm :'))

idk i'm not like particularly passionate about nyc itself which is definitely something people cite as something u need to Make It there but i think it's a cool and good place and end of the day it is just a place . and i like cities, about as much as i like countryside (and i hate cities about as much as i hate the country...) so it's like. the Most city ever (well in this country at least) isn't it. so that'll be interesting. but most importantly bruh idk i'm just. young and have never left my home town and am relatively untethered... no pets no career no partners no real friendgroup car's on its last legs anyway hell i really don't even have any major furniture i'm attached to and need or even find valuable (the one piece of furniture i do find valuable and am attached to is just way too fucking massive to ever work anywhere in ny period so... rip. at least selling that would help expenses, and literally everything else i own is trash) so like.

this is the time man. i cannot just spend my entire life in my hometown and i cannot spend my entire life in the south this is The Time to get out into the world and get some worldly experiences and like having a friend in Big Important Culturally Lush City who may have a roomie slot opening up, which can help me get my feet under me easier than if i just tried to do it solo, is an opportunity i'd regret turning down for the rest of my LIFE like this is it it is The Time Of My Life where i am Supposed To Do Things and Get Out There and here it is and i gotta do it and i want to do it and i CAN do it (and i can afford to do it!!!!! i have Toiled with a capital T for my savings and shit like this is exactly why) so i'm 100% gonna do it but omggg :'))))))))))) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......... i am but a lil ol southern boy... i am but a little fucking creature who does not know shit about shit...........

but the only way to ever change that is to Get The Fuck Out!!!!!! and big big city with literally anything you could imagine is such a good social and career prospect like. my city is truly very decently sized especially for the south we're one of the bigger/more major/noteworthy cities but also we're a pretty Crappy city compared to other big cities even in the south, like the social scenes and activities options here are a little meeehhhh and the career and economic opportunities here DEFINITELY mehhh so it'll be amazing to be somewhere with so MUCH where any culture or interest or subculture or hobby you can think of is represented and where any food or activity or manmade type of place to see you can think of is represented and where even a little fool like myself could find their way into some seriously cool work opportunities that could mean so much advancement in like skills and experiences and income...... and just like... god this is such a horrible term but literally networking!!! not in a BIG BUSINESS kinda way but just meeting interesting people who can help you and teach you and inform you and connect you to more interesting opportunities! wahh...

and i don't have to stay forever is the beautiful thing if it sucks i can hit da bricks and i think once i've made that initial breakaway to Leave Home like selling my car (genuinely even if i stayed here forever the car is on her way out so what better thing to do than move somewhere where car is not necessary... like if i stayed the car would fucking die anyway and then i'd be in the awful position of needing another one bc you can't not have one here so yeehaw selling her for moving/travel funds and being somewhere that's far less car dependent is the most auspicious move) and my furniture and putting my remaining possessions i can't bring with all at once in storage, then i'll be in a crazy good position to jump off from that point and go other places, maybe even the places i AM specifically personally passionate about and yearn for... so like... i'm GONNA do it...

but it's mad scary for real :) I Have Never Done This Before :)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Steph! This is kinda a weird ask but well, I don't really have a reason. Its just that I turned 20 yesterday and I feel so lost, so I was wondering if you had any advice on you know... navigating life in your twenties or something

Hey Nonny!

First off: Happy birthday! I hope it was a good one!

Secondly, Nonny, it's COMPLETELY NORMAL to feel lost at your age, honest to goodness. I certainly felt like my life was going nowhere at that age, being denied from college and stuck working a retail job with no benefits because they refused to give me the final 2 hours I needed to be full-time.

I actually answered a similar ask back in May 2022 from a Nonny who didn't know what they should do now that they were 19, and I think that the advice is fitting for someone in your place as well. The long-short (HAH, spoilers, it’s not short at all) of it is this, plus some extras I missed on that last post:

Get your finances sorted as soon as you're making some money.

You DON'T have to have everything figured out already. It's SO FUCKING ANNOYING that people y'all are supposed to look up to preach the whole grind-set mentality, which in turn makes people feel like utter failures before they're 25. It's SO gross and a horrific way of putting pressure on people that – let's be real – these people only see as chattel for babies or future mindless worker drones who won't question authority.

Take your time to figure out what you want to do. I took a two-year gap between high school and college, and I don't regret it. I didn't go back to school until I was 21. My gap years were used to work. I was also fortunate enough that my parents let me live at home rent-free during this time, so I KNOW that I am more privileged than most. If you can do it though, and it's safe for you to do it, I recommend it. It will give you time to REALLY consider your options and career choices, and not jump from course-to-course and accrue more and more debt.

University is NOT better than Community College. They drill the opposite in your brain when you're in high-school because – guess what – University costs more of YOUR time and money. Absolutely, there are things only Uni can do that you can't at college... think of it this way: if you want a more hands-on career that will give you beneficial skills all across the board, take college. If you want a career that requires a bunch of letters before or after your name, take university. It's literally that simple. I wish someone told me that in high school when I felt like utter garbage for getting denied from university. Now, nearly 2 decades later, I have a fulfilling career that I enjoy, for the most part.

Sometimes, University OR College isn't the answer. A lot of people just don't go on to post-secondary education, and THAT'S OKAY. North America (and probably other continents and countries) have made education a luxury product, something only those who get approved for loans or can afford to pay the admission fees can have. There's NOTHING wrong with being an apprentice for a skilled labour job, or wanting to work retail and want to move up in the company. Sometimes that's YOUR calling. Hoity-toity, entitled people will sneer at the same people who fix the electrical or plumbing work in their houses or make them their no-foam 7$ lattes in the morning, which I've always found rather hypocritical and hilarious. Do what's best for YOU, and not what's best for someone else. Heck, if YouTube is what you want to do, do that. Research. Go to Skillshare or Linda.com and self-teach yourself some useful skills. Do you like to write? Write that novel you wanted to, and fish it out for interest. Are you an artist? Make a serious go at selling your work.

Know your worth. I know it's hard, but please know that you are not any better or worse than someone else. Regardless of your path in life, know that people will pay you fairly for your skill if they're not a "choosing beggar" and know the value of it.

Learn about yourself. I had my journey of self-discovery in my mid 30's. I wish I had it sooner. Since you have the time, maybe start soul searching and asking yourself questions about yourself and what you want to do. It's a scary thing, but in the end, you will come out more at peace with yourself and the world around you.

It's okay to enjoy things, be it fandom, food, entertainment, a place, a hobby, or life itself. Don't let people tell you otherwise.

You're never too old to have fun.

Be your authentic self. Don't be shamed into thinking you're "cringy". And if you don't know who your authentic self is, I direct you to my "learn about yourself" point. I used to put too much value into what people thought about me, and to an extent, I still do care a bit since I sadly have divided myself up into 4 different people: Work Steph, Personal Life Steph, Fandom Steph, and Public Steph. It's a system that's worked for me, but it doesn't for everybody, and I wish now I could be Personal and Fandom Steph for my Public and Work Steph. BUT, again, I try my best to be my authentic self when I can these days... because honestly? Betty from Economics 1A won't even fucking remember your name in 2 years. Billy from Accounting will give no fucks about you after you leave your previous job. It's an unnecessary stress we hold ourselves to, thinking people care more than they actually do. And you know what? If they actually DO care in a way that negatively impacts you, that's THEIR fucking problem, not yours.

Parents and family aren't always right. Not gonna go into the full details here on my own personal story since it can be found across various other posts, but long-short is that sometimes, cutting certain people out of your life for your own sanity and mental health, despite your best efforts to try to keep some semblance of a relationship with them, is the only answer. You'll feel sad, but you won't regret the decision. Reading about psychology as a hobby in my spare time helped me see what was happening wasn't fair to myself, and looking at the situation from an outsider's perspective made me see that the person was doing more harm than good.

Therapy is GOOD, even if it's just a once-a-month thing. Now that I'm finally talking to someone about my own traumas, no matter how minute (and even some I wasn't aware even affected me), I'm finally understanding that what happened in the past wasn't my fault, and that my feelings of self-doubt are valid and we're working on learning self-love.

You don't have to have a significant other in your life to be happy. Another bullshit thing that going to religious schools fucking drilled into my head, was trying to convince me that I needed a man (HAH!) and a child (SNORTS NO THANKS) to feel fulfilled in my life. Well, joke's on them, I am 100% not straight, and 100% do not want kids NOR sex, so LOOOOOOOL (of course, I didn't know about the former until I did that soul-searching thing, heh. The latter was brought about mostly from retail work). Am I lonely? Of course I am, and yes, I DO want someone to spend my days with, but you know what I'm not? I'm never bored, and I make my own entertainment. I go to movies and on trips by myself. I'll eat at a restaurant by myself. It's honestly great. Downside is, though, now I'm FIERCELY independent, and I am REALLY frustrated if / when something disrupts my "normal" day. I need to plan a day with friends WAY in advance so that I can mentally prepare to be disrupted from my "timeline", that other people just don't follow schedules like I do. And that's okay.

Get hobbies outside of blogging. This is more self-advice to me than anything else. Don't let being perpetually online be the only thing you do. Enjoying the outdoors or knitting or going for a run are underrated. Being on Twitter or TikTok all day long is VERY BAD for your mental health. Learn to re-connect with people. I know this is hypocritical of me to be saying as the Tumblr addict that I am, but you're still young, save yourself, my god, lol. Seriously though, there's nothing wrong with spending a couple hours a day online, but unless it's your job, just... find something other than being glued to your phone or computer as a hobby. Playing a video game is just as productive.

Learn to cook and/or do basic home economics, like sewing and cleaning. Another thing they stopped teaching in school. I learned to cook in school. We had a home-ecs course in high-school. I learned basic sewing, and which chemicals should NOT be mixed together to clean. I learned I love LOVE baking. LOVE IT. And I'm an AMAZING baker. It's just TOO fucking hot in the summer to bake in my apt, lol.

It's okay to be stressed, and it's okay to cry as a release mechanism for that stress. I've been mocked in my younger years for crying when I'm frustrated, and in my older years I feel shame when I do. I'm not crying because I'm sad, I'm crying because I'm frustrated and stressed and a situation feels out of my control. My therapist told me it's a totally normal response, and I guess I just needed someone to tell me that, so I'm here to tell you that too. Regardless of your gender identity, IT'S OKAY TO CRY.

And branching off of that, you're not showing weakness when you show compassion and empathy for other people. Honestly, this world would be a better place if more people cared about other people in a genuine way.

Which segues nicely into: Never, EVER hesitate to show you care. Love comes in many forms, and saying "I love you" can mean the world to someone. I do it because I genuinely care about people, and because the one time I didn't say it, I couldn't ever say it to that person ever again. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and yes, I get hurt a lot, but for that one hurt I feel, I'm certain that 5 other people genuinely needed to hear SOMEONE, ANYONE tell them that they are loved or that someone is thinking of them. At least that's my hope, anyway.

There's a reason they're called "safe spaces" and even neurotypical people, and people who mock them need them, even if they don't realize it. My safe space is my bedroom wrapped in blankets and hugging exactly 2 pillows, with my phone and an old fave fic queued up in iBooks. Yours might be your car, or a place with lots of people, or an online forum, or heck, even your work's bathroom stall in a pinch. Sometimes we just need a place to go to to re-collect ourselves and mentally prep ourselves to deal with bullshit again. Find yourself a few comfort places, because believe me, as you get older and have to deal with more and more and MORE bullshit in today's economy and society, you will need a place to deescalate your mounting tension. I make sure I have one in every place I go to regularly.

So yeah, not much else I can think of at the moment, but I hope these will get you started. I hope you are alright, lovely, and I am sorry for the delay in a response... I just needed a block of time I could sit down and really give you a heart-felt response.

If I think of anything else, I'll tag them on here, but please know that, again, it's OKAY to feel lost. My lord, you're ONLY 20. You AREN'T supposed to have it all figured out yet!! Just... breathe, relax, and just let life play out the way it's supposed to for you. <3

Love you, Nonny!

And friends, if you have some life experience you would like to share with this smol bean, please do! <3

[iiimber]

Could I request an Izukuxreader where I have a suppression quirk that allows me to hide my presence, but I have to touch the person to activate it. Deku has been trying to catch me because I stealing is like breathing I just can't pass it up. And this has been going on for years, but I don't know what he actually looks like so one time I steal something when he's 'off the clock' and he catches me finally. And he promises to take me out on a date once I get out. Something like that?

ahh i love writing for midoriya; i imagine he’ll be much more confident as an adult, but still his same sweet self

Midoriya Izuku loved being a hero.

As his dream since a child, there was no conceivable way he wouldn’t love it. Despite the target on his back as a rising pro, the dangers and constant reminder of his mortality in the line of duty— all these negatives were outweighed every time someone give him a bright smile, a comment on how strong and kind he was, a thank you for saving their lives and a promise to support him as he continued to rise.

With all the complications and hardships that went into being a hero, Midoriya Izuku still really loved it.

He would have rough days; not arriving to the scene fast enough, not as skilled and ready for combat as he could’ve been. Being a hero was tough work, and while he knew that, it could still weigh him down tremendously. There would always be things that could make or break his day as a Pro, but even those he wouldn’t give up. They always fueled him to move forward, push himself to the limit of becoming a better him for himself and for the people.

Yes, he wouldn’t give any of that up...even the frustrating cat-and-mouse game with one particular thief.

In the beginning of the Hero Deku’s career, he was assigned to smaller, more petty crimes and villains. He was strong and pretty skilled, and his experience during Yuuei was enough to let him take care of the minor, yet still troublesome offenses. There had been a thief around— one that focused on stealing smaller stuff like makeup or clothes, things that weren’t necessarily important but these places had a business to run.

While Midoriya at first was a little discouraged with being assigned something so...small and seemingly easy, he grew to learn that this particular criminal would prove to be quite tough. He had meet his match with you, that was for certain.

Over the years, as he rose in popularity and number, beginning to focus on much more heinous crimes and serious rescue missions— his quarrel with you was still ever present. He knows what you look like, what your quirk is and the basis on how it works (even now, grown and a professional hero, he still analyzes any quirk that sparked his interest). He just had no idea how to actually catch you.

He’ll see you, either in the midst of stealing or running away, and as he gains on you— only one touch from your hand is enough to shield yourself from his vision. You’re still there; he can feel your presence, but no matter how hard he tries he can’t remember where you were last standing or figure out where you could’ve moved to. It’s frustrating; he’s smart! Resourceful and cunning, this should be a breeze for him!

You always gain the upper hand though, and damn if it isn’t just a little bit exhilarating.

You’re not much for higher-stake thefts.

Your quirk works on living things, not cameras and sensors, so if you choose to steal without any facial protection— you’d be able to be identified pretty easily. Luckily though, you’re a master at concealing yourself when the need arises— getting away is as easy as taking candy from a baby. Not that you ever would, your morals are much higher than that.

Today was a day where you were feeling a little brave. An itch to steal and put yourself in a more stressful and exciting heist than normally. You had been laying a little low these past weeks; Deku was less busy with more important missions and used that time to try and gain the upper hand on you. He was getting increasingly more frustrated, you could tell when you had slipped away yet again, but that’s why it’s so fun!

You were confident in what you knew you could do, and it never ceased to stump your Pro Hero.

There was a necklace in the local jewelry shop that had caught your eye the other day; a pretty gold chain decorated with drooping diamonds, glittering in the light almost mockingly whenever you passed it. It was much too expensive to afford on your own, and it’s not like you had the means to save up for it— you could just easily steal it.

You thought it best to wait until the shop was slow, but busy enough that the workers could still be occupied with other customers. The plan was to make a move when the necklace had been placed out of the glass case for display, but that was taking too long and you had a flaw of getting antsy. You’d go ahead with it anyways, messy escape or not.

The little shop had about seven other people in it, besides the four workers. The employees were busy chatting and making sales, leaving you to stand in front of the glass case where your fated necklace was hanging delectably. It wasn’t often you’d indulge in treating yourself like this; more so stealing items you’d rather not pay for or basic necessities...but you supposed with your success on evading Deku’s capture all the time you’ve gotten a little cocky in your abilities.

Pressing a hand against the glass, you sighed through your nose. There was the option of just breaking it and running, but that meant more attention on you— making more people to touch to get away. Fingers tapping, thoughts of how to go about obtaining this necklace racing through your mind.

“I-is there anything I can help you with?”

Glancing up, you were met with the nervous gaze of a young worker. Her smile was kind and a little wobbly, posture stiff. If you had to take a guess, you would say she was new.

Smiling back, you tapped a finger against the glass. “Would you be able to take this out for a better look?”

With his mother's birthday coming up, and more than enough money to go all out for the wonderful woman who raised him, Midoriya decided to browse the local jewelry store. His mother didn’t own a lot of nice things for herself; too busy raising him to be the best he could be and saving her money for more important things, she had always missed out on treating herself; even just a little bit. He wanted to get her something nice; expensive and pretty, one that would certainly catch the eye of other people. He knew it wasn’t necessary, but he couldn’t help himself.

The shop had many pretty accessories to choose from, all expensive and genuine, but nothing he couldn’t afford. As he gazed down at an emerald encrusted bracelet, Midoriya perked up when he heard a familiar, soft voice.

“Ah, thank you so much!”

Turning, he met the sight of you, gazing down at a sparkling necklace. There was a glimmer in your eye, and he watched in shock as the worker turned away for just one moment…

One moment was it all it took too. Gently, you touched the poor woman's hand and lifted the necklace with care, placing it in your bag before turning tail towards the entrance of the shop. You were out before the worker noticed, and Midoriya was right after you.

He found it careless to do this during early evening, all kind of witnesses mulling around— anyone of them could have the means to stop you! You’ve grown cocky, that’s for sure, and a part of him wondered if it had to do with his continued failure in catching you.

You were moving through the crowd like a snake, dodging and stepping around backed up foot-traffic with such a lightness to your step that he thought you could very well have a second quirk. Midoriya was faster though, heart racing against his chest as he reached out, closer, so much closer until…

A tug on your wrist put your escape to a stop, a sinking feeling making you nauseous and your head light. There was no way you could’ve been caught, everyone else in the shop was busy with their own matters and the people outside were too focused on getting home than the inside of some little corner jewelry place! With a deep breath, you turned to meet a swirling green gaze— a perfected, innocent smile on your face.

“Can I help you with something sir?”

If Midoriya didn’t know any better, he would think he had grabbed the wrong person. Your (e/c) eyes were wide and curious, innocent looking just like your smile. Your face was sweet, foolproof acting if he wasn’t so smart. It was a shame you were so cute, you actually brought a blush to his face.

You weren’t freaking out though, and it dawned on him that every time the two of you clashed he had been on the clock— dressed in hero gear and his mask...you didn’t know what he actually looked like. Still staring at him with wide eyes, Midoriya grinned, free hand coming up to grasp your other that had been reaching out to his arm slowly.

Gasping as you were tugged closer to the man, an unsettling shock shooting down your spine as he continued to gaze down at you. He had completely encased your hands in his, giving you no openings to conceal yourself. You were screwed.

“Funny seeing you here, (Name).”

Shit. Double screwed.

Deku, clad in casual clothes and face exposed to you for the first time, let out a laugh at your widened eyes. You were frozen in shock, struggling to believe that you were finally caught— when he was off duty.

With ease, the man shifted both of your wrists into two hands, reaching into his jean pockets to pull out his phone. You watch him type your location in— no doubt to the police to bring you in. The weight of what was happening finally settled in, shoulders slumping closing your eyes in defeat. Your little cat-and-mouse game with Deku was finally over; he won.

Slipping his phone back into the pocket, Midoriya looked up to your solemn face. He was happy, finally succeeding in bringing you to justice (although short-term, petty-theft was the least worried about in this society) he had to admit he would miss the thrill of chasing after you. Reaching into your bag for the necklace, he cleared his throat.

“These last years have been fun, but it’s too bad really.” He watched your eyes peek open, watching him in suspicious interest. “You’re very skilled, you could be using that for something better.”

Deku carefully pulled the necklace from the bag, holding it in his large hand with the utmost care. A grin broke out on your flushed face, eyes narrowed. “Sure, but where’s all the fun in that?”

Looking back up at you, a gentle smile on his freckled face only made yours hotter; he was still too kind, even restraining you from any movement. Throughout you years of evading him, he had always been polite in a gentle, yet stern way. You never hurt anyone, or made moves to harm him, so you’re sure that played into his refusal of getting too physical...but a part of you was wondering if there was more to that kindness then Deku was letting on.

“It’s fun to do good though. Helping people is the best kind of thrill you can get!” When he noticed the look of amused doubt, he only tried harder. “Really, I’m serious! You’d be pleasantly surprised at how good it feels!”

You tried tugging your wrists free, as he squeezed a little harder than comfortable as he got excited. “Whatever, incase you can’t tell, I’ll be on my way to jail here pretty soon— there’s not a chance for me to do any good.” His grip loosened only slightly, apologizing under his breath as his thumb rubbed against your skin softly.

It was quiet a little longer, and dread settled in the pit of your stomach when you saw the cop car pulling up across the street.

“When you get out then, I’ll take you out and show you how fun it can be.”

Startled at the offer, your gaze snapped back to his. Green eyes were sparkling with determination, a shaky, handsome smile adorning his face. Another beat of silence past as the two of you stared at the other, until a toothy grin stretched across your lips.

“Are you asking me on a date, Deku?” The teasing tone of voice had him flustered, but his resolve didn’t crumble; nodding his head and stepping closer.

“If that’s what you want to call it, then yes. I’ll gladly take you on a date when you get out.”

As you sat in the back of the cop car, hands cuffed and on your way to a cell, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be too worried. You had a date to look forward to these next couple of months.

[asterismcampanella]

4/9/2022

My dreams were encouraging and accusatory last night, and Anastasia was quite similar. She is never truly an aggressor, but I seldom hear her thoughts on me, and these were passionate.

Anastasia and I had been chatting about how small I am in the universe. Zooming out of my bed, my house, my town, my city, my state, my country, my hemisphere, world, and I took note of how without any orbital lines the planets looked like someone had thrown marbles onto a starry desk, and Anastasia said we could be traveling forever with no set destination and never get anywhere or see the end.

But we came upon a star in our path, and she explained it was okay, and that we were going to go right through it unscathed. Of course this is the case, but your conscious can't help but to think of everything as a video game and say "dodge the great fiery ball careening towards you and an eternal panther floating impossibly in the space above earth."

Anastasia walked me through a guided meditation as we passed through the star, simply reminding to relax and focus on the color of the star and the feeling of the blood rushing through my veins and the energy a star must emit and that the same molecules make up humans and everything else that lives.

Finally, she said I was at a state of peace enough to ask her anything that I wished. I had started off by blurting out that I knew I was standing still out of fear like I always do, despite knowing exactly what I wanted to do and some general options or sources of ideas on how to do it.

My fears of being stuck in this endless loop of part time day jobs trying to convince myself I will be able to have one foot in both doors and propel my art career forward. I know in the current state I'm in, I have no hope of my future. I do not make enough to even afford rent, but the thought of leaving this dead end job for yet another isn't favorable.

I couldn't help but to ask Anastasia to show me what I was supposed to do with this future. She sighed heavily and said my mother may be strict, but she is not an evil woman and would let me stay a little bit longer before finally giving up and telling me to get a full time job and move out. I would do so, getting with a few queer friends who also needed a place at the time.

During this time I would convince myself it was an adult thing to have to cut losses and make happiness where I could find it. I would give up on language studies and keep art as an attempted passive income, always promising to make it a part-time career someday, but still maintaining that scared stand-still and not getting noticed.

She explains it wasn't built in substantial friendship and would most-likely quarrel and either continuously flake off roommates or we would altogether disband and I would have gotten enough savings together to settle for a strange quaint thing to fix up alone.

I remembered my dream at this moment as well as explained I didn't want to face a future like this, and I was willing to change it. Anastasia continued to insist it was a possibility and not a prediction, she was just showing me the "closest near-future outcomes to reality" for lack of a better easy description.

In this future possibility, I don't meet the man I believe to be my soulmate. He doesn't live close and is scared of travel, and this would ensure his future outcome would be something along the lines of "becoming more hermit and never amounting to his full potential"

I found that interesting, I had nearly forgotten the only reason I am ensuring something Anastasia claimed is a "fated event" is because I am so sure and steadfast in my own goals. Mind you, I still don't know this "fated event", so don't think I have something to be watching out for! It's as vague to me as to you.

Anastasia moved on to the next possibility. If this fear of mine truly lights the fire under my ass, I look into a degree in Japanese and decide the "cutting of losses" is that I am already in debt, that debt will be taken care of eventually, but that I don't need to fear it as horribly as I do, and that additional and earnest school debt will not hurt me.

Actually, she said, the school debt would most likely would get taken care of quickly due to landing a fairly liberal and well-paying and accommodating company I would become a translator for. I would be able to save up easily as well in this job, as well as manage to find a few friends relatively quickly to ease my social nerves.

These friends would lead to frequent social outings and events and eventual "fated event". Because of our joined funds, we'd be able to invest in and maintain a kyomachiya and I'd be able to spend more time creatively. Anastasia said this possibility is currently the one with "full-time artist" as a most likely career.

Then, Anastasia said, "However, the most likely possibility with your current days is this one." She said I would only reach for opportunities near and convenient for me, but it wouldn't be a complete loss. I would eventually find a good friend to move out with, and we would both be day job working artists for a while.

She said this is the scenario I had decided it was okay if I didn't move for another decade, and take things slow. That is what most likely happens, but she was interrupted when I expressed my continued distaste, and was frustrated because of course, the only one in charge of my future is me.

I hold myself back in fear of ridicule and judgement despite knowing no amount of it could ever fully deter me, and that I really have nothing to be ashamed of. Anastasia explained language skills were a great thing to have when you loved people and sharing cultures and it was something I needed to be prideful in.

She said a lot that holds me back is why I haven't done anything in any other genre of interest either; because I'm too busy getting wrapped up in judgement and not using what freedoms I have wisely. That is why I would put my plans on hold for a continued ten years, not because I ever fully give up but that I am still willing to let them be palpable as if negotiable by other forces.

My current goal is to stop holding myself back from my own goals because I continue to fear what will happen. I do not want to know what will happen for the next 5 months like my boss. I do not want the next 5 months to be overwork and underpay as my life continues to tick on away while others are already successful or closer yet simply because their fears haven't held them back.

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Superheroes with Secrets: Ribbed by Foley (Fic part 120) (Set in 2001)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places.

please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts.

Tags: @piratewithvigor

‘Giantess’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

Reference Posts: Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms

Kirby ‘The Blacklight Bandit’ Roussimoff

"This is something you need to talk to Vince about."

"I can't talk to Vince about it because Hogan brings in money, he brought in enough money to keep Vince happy last time and I'm certain he will again. I can't go to Vince and tell him to think about me more than his money." She states, raising her voice slightly.

"The last thing he can afford is to lose his biggest female money-maker. And Hogan isn't a top commodity anymore. Hasn't been since Ninety-three."

"Try convincing Vince of that, he wouldn't listen then and I doubt he'll listen to me now."

"Would it hurt to try?"

"Yes, it would, what if he decides that I'm not worth keeping around?"

"Then you find a new company. Why would you want to stay if he doesn't see your value?"

"There are no options anymore, Vince runs the wrestling world. The only option left is Japan."

"There’s always the independent circuit. Or hell, start your own promotion."

"Shane, I'm currently pregnant, it's not like I can do any of that shit!"

"Who says? Who says you can't start your own?"

"Shane, I don't need more stress. Stop the fucking car, right now." She demands.

"Are you going to run?"

"No, I just want to be alone, alright, just leave me the fuck alone for once."

"No."

"Shane, just leave me the fuck alone, don't fucking argue this with me."

"It's not arguing. I swore to you I wouldn't let you run from me, and I'm not. There's no arguing about this."

"I'm not going to run, I just need to fucking breathe."

"Then I'll let you out at the next safe stop."

"Thank you, Shane."

True to his word, he pulls over at the next stoplight and unlocks the doors. Kirby immediately gets out of the car and sits on the sidewalk, nearly slamming the door behind her. Helms parks the car and sits, giving her her space. Kirby tries her best to calm herself, wanting to be alone and scream from the mental pain she's in. He doesn't move as he sits and waits. He feels damn guilty to have been so hard on her.

"I love you, just don't touch me right now, don't set me off, Shane." She pleads.

"I won't." He promises softly.

"I just want to quit, if Vince hires Hogan, I'm fucking quitting. Spent my entire life trying to get to this point in my career, but I'd willingly step away from it all if Hogan joins the company again."

"You'd give it all up for him?"

"To get away from him, yes. To prevent him from threatening..." She takes a deep breath, "Shane, he threatened to get other wrestlers to beat me up."

"Anyone who took him up on the offer would be a fool. Your family is some of the biggest, toughest wrestlers in the company. They'd destroy anyone Hogan hired."

"I was so afraid that he'd find a way to force me into retirement, that I genuinely considered injuring myself to make myself retire before he got the chance to."

"Don't do that, my love. Don't give him the satisfaction."

"And now, I can't wrestle, so what fucking use do I have in this business?"

"You're a wrestler. You were born to be a wrestler and you won't be happy doing anything else. Like me."

"Shane, I have no use in the business if I can't wrestle, and currently, I can't wrestle."

"Stephanie can't wrestle and she works here. Half the old men from the Seventies can't wrestle anymore, but they still work here."

"Shane, that doesn't make me feel better, they can wrestle. I, however, am pregnant. I. Can't. Fucking. Wrestle. I. Am. With. Child."

"Which is temporary. For your own safety."

Kirby grumbles under her breath, getting up and walking a few paces away before screaming at the top of her lungs. Helms doesn't move, just sighing softly as he watches her.

Kirby walks back, looking a lot calmer, "sorry about that, needed to scream, words weren't working."

"I understand."

"I need food, and sleep, and just, Shane, I love you, hold me?" She asks gently.

He pulls her in close, holding her head to his chest. Kirby relaxes in his arms, listening to his heartbeat. It's going a little fast with his nerves, but slowly calming as he strokes her back.

"My love, Gregory Shane Helms, my husband, my hero, baby daddy." She whispers.

"I swore I'd never let you run. I hope I kept that promise today."

"Yeah, you did, a little too well."

"How so?"

"Kinda wanted to yell at you in the car."

"I could tell."

"I'm sorry about all this, I just, really hate Hogan."

"I understand why you would."

"I'm really hungry, Shane, I'm tired and hungry." She murmurs as she snuggles against him.

"Call in room service?" He suggests.

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Just wanna get some rest with you."

"Then, we'll go back to the hotel, and we'll have some food, and sleep." She states matter-of-factly

"Good. Was thinking exactly the same."

"How about we try something a little different tonight, Shaney baby."

"Like what?"

"I was thinking, maybe, we could sleep with your dick in me, haven't done it in a while and I wanna be as close to you as possible."

"That's a very good idea." He grins.

"Thought you'd like it, mon amour." She murmurs as she pulls away, heading back to the car.

He follows a step or two behind, giving her a little space. It doesn't take long for them to be back at the hotel, waiting for their food to arrive and flirting with each other.

"Feeling better?" He smiles.

"Much better now, my love." She nods.

"Good. That's what I like to hear."

"I love you, mon mari."

"I love you too, sweetheart. I never want to see you unhappy."

"Happy, healthy, and pregnant with your child." She notes.

"The perfect way for you to be."

"Our little baby." She whispers as she places her hands on her stomach.

"Only getting bigger by the day."

"Eventually, I'm gonna look pregnant, and I'm not gonna move from the bed when that happens, just gonna sleep all day."

"And I'll be spending every second fawning over you."

"Oh really now, you gonna take real good care of me, baby daddy?" She questions teasingly.

"Absolutely." He grins.

"Thank you, mon ange, I love you so much Shane." She whispers as she pulls Helms into a gentle kiss, right as there's a knocking at the door.

"I swear, this better be a concerned family member, cause I can't be pleasant for anyone else." He groans, chuckling.

"Babe, it might be food." She murmurs as she kisses his neck.

"Oh shit, I can be pleasant for the food fairy!"

"I'll let you get the food." She reluctantly whispers as she pulls away.

He gives her a quick kiss before going to answer the door. Outside the door there's a cart of food, everything sweet that the hotel serves, pancakes, waffles, ice cream, the whole list of 'sweet' or dessert dishes. Helms is practically salivating pulling the cart into the room.

"Oh wow." She murmurs as she sees the cart of food.

"Might have gone a bit extra."

"We should save some of this for the rest of the week," She suggests, "ya know, I have that convention tomorrow, so we can use the stuff we don't eat now as snack food or breakfast or lunch."

"I like the way you think."

"So, after that, if there is any food left, road snacks." She murmurs, getting up and wrapping her arms around his waist from behind.

"You know me and my love for road snacks."

"I love you, mon ange, you and your sweet tooth." She whispers against his neck.

"It's what makes me so sweet." He grins.

"Sweet enough to make me high on the sugar of your love." She murmurs as she kisses his neck and nips softly at his flesh

"That's why they called me Sugar Shane."

"That and alliteration appeal." She notes.

"Of course."

Kirby pulls away slightly to pull up his shirt and kiss his spine.

He shivers happily a little. "Goddamn..." he whispers, blushing.

"Shane, take your shirt off, please Hon." She whispers as she kisses further up his spine.

"Yes, ma'am." He grins, stripping down.

Kirby smirks as she kisses up his spine, whispering sweet nothings between each kiss.

"Trying to get me riled?" He purrs.

"Oui, mon amour." She whispers as she kisses the back of his neck.

"Wanna take a trip down to downtown Boneville?"

Kirby stifles a laugh before whispering "oui, mon sauvage." In his ear.

"Cool. All aboard the train." He grins.

"Shane, don't make me laugh when I'm trying to get you all hot and bothered." She murmurs, trying not to laugh.

"Can't we do both?"

"We could, if you really want to."

"I like making you laugh. Especially during sex. You feel so damn good."

"Do I, mon amour, do I feel like heaven?" She teases.

"You do. When you laugh when I'm inside you, your inner walls flutter."

"Then feel free to make me laugh during sex, my love."

"Planning on it."

Kirby kisses his neck, sliding her hands down to his crotch.

"Gonna give me a squeeze?" He teases softly.

"Maybe, mon ange, maybe." She whispers against his neck.

He bends down a little and bites a mark into her neck. Kirby moans as he does so, her breathing hitching slightly.

"Your neck's so soft.. "

"Thank you for the compliment, mon ange."

"Just feel like you deserve to hear it more."

"Mon ange, if you want to compliment me, go right ahead, I won't stop you." She states softly, pulling away to take off her shirt and bra.

"Then can I say you look absolutely stunning?"

"You may, you handsome beast."

"Good. You look absolutely stunning."

"Thank you, my dear husband." She whispers.

"It's my pleasure."

Kirby leads Helms to the bed, "stay here for a moment, my love." She whispers as she walks to the bathroom, opening the door and then recoiling in horror at the sight of Foley's Halloween themed prank.

"Jesus Christ, what the hell is that?!"

The entire bathroom mirror is covered in fake blood, and the rest of the bathroom has occult scrawlings on the walls.

"I think we just got ribbed by Foley." She whispers in shock as she slowly steps away from the bathroom door.

"Think you might be right."

"I know I'm gothic, but this is too dark, even for me."

"Only one thing left to do."

"Shane, what are you thinking, my little beastie?" She questions, cocking an eyebrow in confusion.

"I'm thinking we rib Foley back."

"But how?" She asks, walking up to Helms and pulling him into a heated kiss.

"That's something we've got to work on."

Kirby smirks, "I don't have any ideas on how to rib Foley, but, I do have plans to make love to you."

"Then let's focus on that first."

"So, mon ange, would you like me to get you off orally, or perhaps with my hands, or maybe you wanna pound into my pussy from behind, hmm?" She questions teasingly.

"I think I'd like to pound the stress of today right out of you."

Kirby pulls Helms into a heated kiss, guiding his hands to her ass as she undoes her jeans. He squeezes and kneads it hard, almost hungrily. Kirby moans against his lips as she lets her jeans drop to the floor, weaving her hands into his hair.

"Such a perfect ass..."

"Let go so I can bend over the bed for ya." She whispers.

"Yes, ma'am." He grins.

Kirby pulls away slightly, removing her underpants and bending down over the bed next to him.

[thewanderingace]

Because I like to torture myself, I just searched for new museum job listings in my area (the field i have two degrees in but can't find a job) and I found the PERFECT job listing. And I mean PERFECT. It's everything I've been looking for in a job for ages and I want to cry. I fit all of the requirements (the education, the years of experience (they are one museum who actually considers internships and volunteer work as work experience!), even down to having photoshop and website editing experience), the salary is better than all of my previous jobs, the job requirements are actually reasonable (instead of being 6 different jobs combined into one super job that would kill a normal person) and are all things I both know how to do and love to do and are exactly what I got my degrees in, and it's a great museum with a good reputation. But there's no point in applying. Why? The museum is over 3 hours away from me. I can't commute 3+ hours for a part time job and I can't just up and move to that area right now for a variety of personal reasons most importantly the fact that I am dirt poor and this job doesn't pay that well enough for me to be able to afford a place of my own. I have other personal reasons for staying where I am now as well. So it's just not an option for me at this moment in time. And that depresses the hell out of me because I know I could get this job and I'd love this job and it'd be the perfect way to finally kickstart my career BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE IT'S TOO FAR AWAY! I HATE EVERYTHING!

[tova-onova]

the school system in Bulgaria is broken. i felt underdeveloped in my school. i wanted to be in what i later discovered is a japanese type of school - where i did sports, arts, and a lot of studying simultaneously. i didn't receive any structured education and any direction for further development from the local education system. in fact the opposite - i was moved from school to school, breaking bonds with teachers and classmates, and falling into communion with delinquent people that were in the classroom with no reason other than breaking order. in bulgaria everything is corrupted and people are placed in every institution deliberately, based on records of services that track information. so you can't end up in any dream place. you are always mushed together with people who are not near your level and they make competition between students and general advancement for the class impossible. i received my best education experiences at The British Council, while studying English when I decided to apply for University at the U.K. Another aspect of education that was beneficial for me was a form of apprenticeship in craft - photography - that my stepfather provided me with, because he was working in that industry. he gave me a way forward and a career i want to develop further into - a photographer. i was very angry and insulted by the education system. because i was set back by everybody who didn't want to study but came from families that believe you have to work from an early age, and not study, because studies are irrelevant. this is the ruling class in bulgaria - people with no education who are acting brutally and vulgarly . and they operate through aggression and terror. so we don't have intelligence. this is just a cattle-upbringing, into a real education system. i was happy with my experience with the UK system because i advanced and developed many skills, apart from my language skills, very fast. i believe my CAE course gave me a structure to follow in my University studied to become better than my average classmates at making academic research and structuring my analysis. i wanted to study in Wales ad continue my development as a photographer professionally, but my family didn't support me financially and emotionally and i became frightened to take the loan, after being accepted in Newport. in my opinion the world is in this state exactly because of lack of structure. People with the most potential have to be selected and trained deliberately. I am gifted in the arts - especially singing. But i have a mindset of a professional in the classical scene. i need very long and personalized training. what music has been marketed as and turned into today by popular media, is outrageous. in my opinion there should be branches of education systems that look for talents and assess every student's capacities for further development. what i experienced was a lack of any mentorship and a sensation of being abandoned and thrown at the wolves to find my way amidst ruins in a desert. children need guidance. not to be ordered what to do and chose, but to know what options there are, and what consequences there are if they chose certain things or fail to chose certain things in the right moment. because bodies change, and so abilities decreace further with age. at least that is the general concept about it. now many people try to break those stereotypes proving that you can become a proffessional in a different area eve t an advanced age with continuous training and re-training. but ecoomies shoudl be structured in a supportive way for that. i cant afford to even pay my rent, let alone to cntinuemy studies. because i'm not in the right place - i made a mistake not following my passion fr photography to wales and i have been devastated nad lost in the last ten years. 'making ends meet' isn't what my standards look like. so i cant be happy with mediocrity. but becaus ethere is not free access to everything, people fight over resources, lie and cheat to get their children ahead and leave you in the dirt even though you are talented and the others are not. we don't exist in an educated reality in eastern europe. its like a madhouse jungle and i have been depressed because of this lack of structure and the sensation of lack of future because of it ever since i was i highschool. to be honest in today's world education is only for wealthy people. because to truly be educated you nee to invest a lot of time and you need to be financially supported throughout that entire time. i have been so i developed a lot of skills beyond my social circle. but i lacked financial education and strategic thinking and planning so i was scared to become an adult ad take a loan to go to university which i regret. i still hold undeveloped potential and this drives me unstable because i don't fit anywhere currently because i am no one i want to be. so i started engaging in activism instead of a career because it seems pointless to strive for money when i feel so isolated and alone. and the isolatio came exactly form breakignthe trust i had in my parents and school that they will discover my abilities and direct their efforts into helping me grow into sucessful humn beig. nobody wants that. the system wants to produce machine replicas who make repetitive tasks. and i cant. i need change and reinventig, since i didnt receive the career i wanted but it seemed so unbearaly expensive to me. i order for childre to get a feel of their capabilities they have to be engaged in a variety of ways - non stp changing - first beig listeners and followers, then eing the teacher and lader, etc. only a dynamic type fo education environment ca crete actual intelligece. nothin static can. you end up in abox if you chose the unilaterl approach to develping self. the self is very complex. so we need open schools and uiversities. which are very hard to manage and a lot of peopel are lazy to do that,this si why they havent still been implemented everywhere. in bulgaria, for example, oly droputs becoem teachers.there is no dignity in that poffession. and it feels shmeful to be a student in this environment. you fel lie second hand citize, eve though you aer supposed to just begin t lear bout the world ad feel fresh and enthusiastic. i honestly dont know by now if there is ny system that helps people into becoming more educated ot its ony a matter fo personal iteersts and desire to ler deeply. my expereice is ot consistent as i have been moved about and didnt receive contiuing support from my family, so i had to reinvent mysef and my choices so many times, i was so stressed at the end, i developed diabetes of the sesation of not being accepted, and not beign good enough, ot fitting in. not because i didnt have capacities, ut becaus ei ddint have uidance nad mentor.i m the kind of person who needs a very profound connection with teachers - based on trut and values. and my etachers were just doing a job. so i didnt connect with any of them. and i still feel empty of that expeeice in education. it was pointless from many sapects. ecause it gave me tons of information, but no sustace. and i dont want that. i was to be directed and given real value. not only used as a recycling bin for someone's handouts on stuff they had to read i uiversity to write a paper. i need personalized approach as a student - lecturer who thinks about their lesson and their audience personally. not mechanically. this demonstrates respect to the listener - and invites them to be a part of discussions and to continue the learning process further than the classroom. it really is an invitation (respect for your audience/students).

[mrsvinchenzo130]

Welcome to adulthood. Budget better. You can't afford the best and the newest and you don't need more than the bare minimum.

If you can't eat every month, your rent is too high. Get a roommate or move. But most ppl can handle getting a roommate. Sheldon and Leonard have advanced degrees and have roommates while starting out. There's nothing wrong with living well within your means, it can be done.

Student loan companies have forbearance options usually equalling to two years during the life of the loan given in 6 month increments. So for the first two years you'd only need to make 4 payments. Even then, you weren't a moron and didn't take private loans so there's options. If you were a moron, you didn't need those private loans and I bet you didn't apply to grants. The reason you get private loans(unsubsidized) instead of subsidized is because you took more money than was recommended but you say you needed it for your education so they didn't tell you no. Someone probably didn't explain want vs need to you... To any of us.

There's food banks, call up churches. Most require very little or no work for you to get a box of good food. Even small cities have a good rotation of food banks that should net you a box every Saturday or Sunday. Shop dollar stores, use your local butcher ask them for deals and become a regular butchers are your friend, watch sales on canned goods. 33c beans 'taste' better than 45c ones, I promise. Ramen and canned tuna were pretty much all I ate for meals for a few years of my 20s. Don't have a pet until you can comfortably feed yourself.

Live with 500 in your account as your minimum. If you don't have 500 you have 0. You need a safety net, even if you can't afford food. If you blow a tire you're gonna be off a lot worse at 0 than 500 base. As you make more money raise that steadily to 2000 base. Once you can maintain a 2000 base for 3 months comfortably, start a 500/ month savings with the 2000 base. Do not touch savings. Go up to a 5000 base rounding up your purchases to the next whole dollar in your head and still saving 500 every month. The base and your savings are individual accounts. Now you have a future and a safety net.

Once you have 6 months of your salary in savings now you're saving for your first home; you should be adding to a work offered retirement plan, your hr person can help or talk to your bank. Do not buy a new home until you have 6 months savings, 5000 base and 20% down on the home. If you're renting, just rent without a roommate when you can; even a small space is wonderful when it's solely your space. Spend money on the furnishings making your affordable place a wonderful cozy home all yours. People mess up and begin to buy things without really thinking about the long term, bigger apartments, new cars. Those things are nice but really slow you down to actual financial freedom.

With a little bit of patience by 30 you can buy your new car cash and by 35 you can buy your dream home 20-30% down all at $17/hr.

$15 is livable but $17 really gets you there. Anything above that just takes months off how long you'll take to get to the home goal at 35.

Now, fully established in your home and career you're financially, emotionally and mentally ready to begin hunting for the person you'll make a family with. Do not date anyone who is well below you emotionally, age is not what I mean it's like different types of wine some are better at older vintages and some better at earlier vintages. Once you're on this stage of the journey you'll understand what I mean by that. They're cute but not the one for you and that's ok. Then one day you'll find the person who makes time for you, who can't get enough of you, who you can't see a future without and they feel the absolute same. And it'll be good without having to "make it work" every day and there's nothing wrong with not getting married for the first time until well into your 40s-50s-60s.

There's nothing wrong with getting married very very young either but wait on kiddos, if you can. Being married, committed to building one another and getting to the top; having seen each other climb and grow is fucking amazing too. BUT so so so much more rare. Goes back to that emotional readiness.

If you get that soulmate and littles demand an entrance, welcome them. Just buy used for everything and buy a home with a walking neighborhood(one with sidewalks) that is near places you can work at without driving. It's ok to pay a little more if it means you won't need a vehicle at all. Renting is paying someone else's mortgage, once that fact bothers you it's time to look at getting pre-qualified for a mortgage. Never go house hunting without a pre-qualification.

Always carry driver insurance even if you don't have a car, call companies and ask if they offer it. Lapses in insurance make them upset and costs you more money in the future when you do get a vehicle. By the time your littles are in college you'll be able to buy your dream home and afford to help them eat and struggle less while in college and shortly after they graduate.

Completing the cycle of building a better future for generations. Less kids means more you get to pass down per kid. But it's ok to have as many as you want as well, they can make their own fortunes like their badass parents did.

College isn't for everyone. Vocational is ok too. $17+/hr is what you're shooting for; $23 would be optimal, anything more is Target instead of Walmart living (That's a joke but the best way I can put it).

Apply to all the grants for college, never ever ever NEVER take a private(unsubsidized) student loan unless you absolutely positively need to and then pay that sucker off ASAP. If you only need 500 but must take a 3000 loan, it's ok to take that 3000 and give them back 2500 that week and then pay off the rest as normal. It's ok to live with roommates until you're well over 30, while growing your base safety net and actual future, with your salary increasing; as you get more settled into your career.

We're given 75-110 years depending on how we take care of our selves. Why do we need to complete all the milestones before 25? That's 50-85 more years of making up new milestones. It's ok to take your time with life. You do not have an expiration date on being a parent, children come when they want and fostering or adopting are wonderful options readily available. Or IVF with a crispr baby who will have no risk of any known cancers for the first time in your entire lineage, the science of fertility has gotten really advanced and downright cool.

Take your time with life. Keep climbing to a better future and when you're 50/70 in your dream home really happily established in life you'll look back on the climb as a wonderful life. Take all the pictures, you have a camera in your pocket, take pictures; no matter how silly, take photos (clothed!!). Travel once you can afford it.

You're gonna stomp your own path to the beat of your own rhythm, never change your rhythm for someone; find the person who beats along with you in perfect time; or just a little, adorably, off time.

Never forgive a cheater.

TL/DR:

If you doom yourself to 16 or below an hour as your lifetime income max you'll always be struggling. Don't set yourself up to perpetually struggle.

Save money.

Get good grades, study for the ACT/SAT. Apply to all the grants for college. Never ever take an unsubsidized/private student loan.

Never forgive a cheater.

Take your time with life. We can live 75-110 years, maybe more.

You ever notice how parents, work supervisors and career mentors will always tell you to be patient about earning more income. Meanwhile, no one ever tells your landlord to be patient for rent, student loan companies to be patient about repayment, nor your stomach to be patient about eating.