#I can’t wait until my portable CD player comes in so I can play my Neighborhoods CD @ nite with the earbuds in

[pnuk-r0ck]

Sorry guys I’m in Blink-182 world rn I’m watching their music videos

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

HI THERE SRY IF THIS IS WEIRD BUT I SAW UR TAGS AND I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MINIDISCS SO—

they were kinda like floppy discs! you’re not supposed to take them out of their casing, tho you occasionally can get stuff in there and need to clean it out but that’s generally pretty rare. they were made by sony to compete with cassette tapes, but the timing was. not great and the players could cost a pretty penny so. they did actually do really well in japan though, just not the states!

they’re a purely audio format, and basically the draws were a) really good quality, like cd type quality, which is quite a step above the previous cassette tapes, b) they were more portable than cds, and c) at the time, you couldn’t really record cds all too easily. but minidiscs were always meant to be recordable, that was their whole thing. similar to cds, you can’t record on a pre-recorded minidisc (like one from a label company. if just like your brother recorded something on a disc you absolutely can re-record it), but unlike cds you will never find prerecorded minidiscs anywhere so it’s not really an issue lol

the recorders also use a thing called a magneto-optical drive, which is where a laser makes the disc REAL DANG HOT before the magnet writes the data in it, so you don’t have to worry about leaving your discs by magnets the way you might with cassettes!

at first you could only record through a recording line, so if you had a fifty minute album guess who couldn’t use their player for fifty minutes until it was done recording! later though some of the recorders had a thing called netmd, which lets you use files on your computer to record much quicker, without waiting for the whole thing to play out. the discs had a recording time of either 60, 74, or 80 minutes, tho you almost never see 60s around these days. if you wanted to record for longer tho, you could, it really just depends on whether or not you can play it lol. basically later on a bunch of the players were able to use a thing called long play, but some players can’t so your disc will be unreadable to them. but! the discs themselves are always able to record long play no matter when they were made, and you can pretty much endlessly re-record minidiscs without them wearing out. so if your hypothetical brother gives you his old minidiscs and he has crappy taste in music and you have a recorder that can’t play long play, no worries, just re-record them as regular discs and you’ll be good to go! there are two types of long play, lp2 and lp4, and any player that can play long play can play either. as u might guess they double or quadruple your discs recording time respectively, at the loss of some sound quality. it’s not terrible, but also discs aren’t super expensive so the only time i’ve ever really used lp4 is to record several podcast episodes on one disc.

they’re all very pretty like the one in the picture tho!! these are a few of my favorites that i own:

i wish i had a picture of my dad’s one with miffy on it because that one’s very cute too heh. i really like the ones where the disc itself is coloured too! the clear neige at the bottom is one of the most common ones you’ll find, especially if you buy them new you’ll get something similar to it. they don’t actually make the fun coloured ones anymore, :( but you can get boxes of used ones that generally come in all sorts of random fun colours! the players themselves are also pretty cool looking! pls ignore gollum’s reflection there haha!

they do not all look like that lol, but generally the players are nicer looking than the ones that can play and record. (the one in the picture up there can’t record, tho this one can. pretty much all the recorders look something similar to this. the ones that can only play look very neat though)

all the recorders have screens, most of the players don’t, but oftentimes they’ll have remotes that you plug into the player and then plug your headphones into the remote, and those often have screens on them.

when they were first released they could cost you up to like 800 dollars lol, nowadays depending on the player they’ll only set you back around 40 bucks. probably a good quality mp3 player might be more practical, but i like the fun clacky plastic discs lol. plus the recordings almost never get corrupted, which is a plus!

uh anyway i’m so sorry for the tiny essay!! i just really like minidiscs! :)

Op i am holding u by the hand. This is exactly what I wanted. Thank you so much!!!!!!

[robinrunsfiction]

It’s A Love Story - Part 4

Part 3

The night of the fall formal, (YN) was up in her room, sitting by her door which was cracked open, so she could listen to everything going on downstairs. Gerard left first, going to Ray's to work on songs and be antisocial nerds together. Then Mikey and their mom left to take him to Kristin's friend's house for group photos before the dance. That's when (YN) started to get ready.

Frank knew she had been disappointed that she couldn’t go to the dance with him, so he promised he'd make it up to her. He told her to make herself up as fancy as she wanted and he'd come get her that night when everything was ready. She didn’t know what the evening would entail, so she had been buzzing with excitement and nerves ever since.

She pulled on a black dress, adjusted the necklace that Frank gave her in the mirror before doing her hair and makeup a little, not much more than she normally wore. She was just writing her mom a quick note when she heard something hit her window. Rushing over she saw Frank down below with a handful of pebbles, dressed nicely in black jeans, a button down shirt and a zip up hoodie over it, ready to toss another pebble up at the glass.

(YN) grinned at him and he waved her down. She motioned that she’d be down in a second, before hurrying to finish the note and rushing downstairs. 

“Hey gorgeous,” he smiled and (YN) blushed. “You look really, really pretty.”

“Thanks,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “So where are we going?”

“Back to my house, come on,” he said, heading for the car.

“Wait, you drove here? But you don’t have your license yet!”

“It’s only around the corner, besides I have my learners permit,” he shrugged.

“You’re such a bad boy, and that’s what my brothers were afraid of all along,” (YN) feigned shock.

“Oh you know it, babe,” he smirked as they got in the car and they both started laughing.

When they arrived, she followed him into the house, but she grew confused when instead of stopping to take his shoes off, he continued toward the kitchen.

“Wait, where are you going?” She followed after him. Frank just smiled and opened the door to the back patio for her. When (YN) stepped through, she was at a loss for words. Twinkle lights were strung up, and paper lanterns hung overhead. On the table was a bouquet of flowers, a portable cd player and a portion of Frank's extensive music collection.

"You can't go to the dance, so I brought the dance to you."

"You did all this for me?" She marveled, looking around.

"I wanted you to have a special night," he replied.

She grinned before throwing her arms around him in a big hug. "Thank you, it's amazing!"

"Wanna dance?" He asked when she pulled back. (YN) nodded and they started to look through the music to find a track they both loved.

"How about this one?" (YN) suggested, holding up her favorite CD.

"Perfect," he nodded, putting it on.

His hands found their way to her waist and she draped her arms over his shoulders as the music began to play. They swayed slowly in time to the music, dried leaves crunching under their feet. 

"Thank you again for this," she smiled, looking around at the beautiful scene.

"Of course, I wanted you to have a special night because,” he paused, glancing away, before looking back in her eye, a little nervous. “I, I love you (YN). Like more than how we’ve always said it as friends. I’m really in love with you.”

(YN) felt her heart skip a beat and her knees go weak. “Oh Frankie,” she whispered. “I love you too, so much.”

He leaned in and kissed her, pulling her body closer to his, and she wrapped her arms around him, one hand running through his black hair. They’d kissed hundreds of times by then, but this was new, it was special. They were in love and it was perfect. Except that no one could know.

They stayed outside a while longer until (YN) began to shiver in the cool autumn air. Frank slipped off his sweatshirt, putting it around her shoulders before they headed back inside.

“Movie?”

“Sure,” she yawned, plopping down on the couch. “Nothing too scary though.”

“Got it,” he replied, selecting a movie and putting it on.

She curled into him when he sat down, resting her head against his chest, listening to his heart beating. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“I like this hoodie,” she murmured. “I like that it smells like you.”

“I’m not getting it back any time soon, am I?” He laughed lightly.

“Probably not,” she smiled up at him.

"That's fine," he replied, returning her smile.

Sleepiness began to pull at (YN) as she snuggled up closer to Frank, even if that was hardly possible. Her eyelids grew heavy as she fought the feeling, trying to stay awake, not wanting to miss out on a second of the date.

The next thing she knew, she was waking up to the sound of a telephone ringing. She sat up, and realized that Frank was just waking up as well, before scrambling for the phone.

“Hello?” He asked, voice still thick with sleep. “Oh hi… shit, really? I’m sorry, we fell asleep watching a movie, I’ll bring her right back! Bye.”

“What’s going on?” (YN) asked, her heart racing from waking up so suddenly.

“That was your mom. It’s like 2 AM and she was wondering where you are.”

“Oh shit,” (YN) gasped. “Did she sound mad?!”

“No, just concerned,” he said, shaking his head. “But I can drop you off, so you don’t have to walk so late in that pretty dress.”

(YN) nodded, head still spinning. The ride back to her house was silent, other than the music playing on the radio. Before pulling up to the house, he cut the headlights, in case anyone may see them and try to figure out who was in the car.

“Thank you for a wonderful night,” (YN) said, still a little sleepy. “It really was beautiful.”

“Of course,” he smiled, reaching over to take her hand. “I’d do anything for you. Want me to walk up?”

“Better not. Gerard’s car is here, he might still be up,” she sighed sadly.

“What’s wrong?” Frank asked, noticing the shift in her tone.

“I… I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you anymore! I wanna, I wanna wear your sweatshirt to school and go to dances with you and hold your hand and,” she felt tears start to sting at her eyes. “I wanna tell everyone that I love you, but I can’t risk them kicking you out of the band or something worse! It’s all my fault,” she sobbed.

“Oh babe,” Frank soothed, pulling her against his shoulder, letting her cry, stroking her hair. “It’s not your fault, you’re not to blame for any of this. And yea, I wanna tell everyone how much I love you too, but I’ll wait as long as we need to. We got forever.”

(YN) wiped her eyes as she pulled back. "Do you mean it?"

Frank nodded. "You and me, forever."

(YN) smiled and sniffled. “I’m sorry, I get emotional when I’m tired.”

“I know,” Frank smiled. “I’ve seen you tired a lot of times.”

“Right,” she laughed lightly. “I guess I should get inside.”

Frank nodded. "I love you, (YN)."

"I love you, Frank," she replied.

He leaned in and kissed her tenderly before she slipped out, closing the door as quietly as she could, and hurried inside the house.

She knocked on her mom's bedroom door to let her know she was back before finally arriving to the safety of her room. She changed into her pajamas, but pulled Frank's sweatshirt back on again and climbed into bed.

"Forever," she sighed contentedly at the thought.

Part 5

[mlpdestinyverse]

“Summer Magic”

After an especially rough day of flight training with his mother Lightning Dust, Skychaser is thankful to have a little sister who knows just how to put a smile on his face.

Feat: Skychaser , Summer Rush 

Story and Description Under The Cut!

-Within a makeshift flight obstacle course fenced into a large backyard, Lightning Dust watches with sharp, analytical eyes as her young colt, Skychaser, streaks through the track. She stalks around the perimeter, not taking her eyes off the colt for a second-

Lightning Dust: UGH- -lifts the whistle hanging from her neck up and blows into it, creating a shrill sound- GO GO gO, SKYCHASER! YOU CALL THAT FLYING?! GET A MOVE ON!  

Skychaser: -despite the burning sensation in his wings, he does as he’s told and flaps them harder. Not too long later, to his complete and utter relief, he completes his last lap and skids to a stop at the starting line. His wings practically fall and drag on the ground as he bends over, wheezing for breath-

Lightning: -clicks her stopwatch, squinting at the time displayed on the screen. She frowns disapprovingly- Four seconds off. You’re slacking, boy.

Skychaser: -coughs, trying to even out his breathing- I-I-

Lightning: Do you think you’ll win at ANYTHING with a time like that? -pauses- Well, do you?!

Skychaser: N-no…

Lightning: -huffs and clears the stop watch- Then fly it again! The race is in three days, and if you expect to win gold again, you hafta make your time or do better!

Skychaser: -eyes widen- C-can I take a break? My wings hurt-

Lightning: Psh, you’ll be fine. It’s best to fly when your blood is pumping anyway. -Before Sky can argue, Lightning blows the piercing whistle, causing him to wince- GO, BOY!

-Though he struggles, Skychaser grunts and outstretches his aching wings with effort, forcing himself to take off. By now he’s memorized the track by heart, doing the appropriate spins around trees and zooming through cloud-hoops. Though he can feel the ache turning into a painful, almost numbing tightness in his back, he forces himself to focus on the obstacles ahead. That is, until he makes a particularly sharp turn. In that moment, the pain in his wing causes him to falter and lose balance. He tries to properly fix himself, especially as he spots the oncoming pole straight ahead. But just as he thinks he’s going to avoid it, the side of his foreleg manage to take a blow, forcing a pained cry out of him. With no way to regain control, Sky soon finds himself crashing into the ground with a roll-

Lightning Dust: (?!) SKY! -gallops over and quickly tries to make him sit up-

Skychaser: -grits his teeth. Not only is his foreleg now throbbing with immense pain, but the side of his body he had crashed upon aches too. He finds himself fighting back tears of pain. He especially yelps when Lightning grabs the foreleg he had hit, examining it- A-ah! -looking at his mother’s face, Sky realizes with an anxious pang in his chest that she seems more angry than concerned-

Lightning Dust: Damn it, Sky, THIS is what happens when you don’t watch what the hell you’re doing!

Skychaser: -bites his lip and pulls his foreleg away, holding it gingerly with his other hoof- I-I-Is it b-broken?

Lightning Dust: -scoffs- No. It’ll leave a bruise, and it'll hurt, but that's it. You’re not gonna die. -sighs heavily and stands up, nudging Sky towards the house- Go inside...we’ll do one last fly later.

Skychaser: (?!) B-but-

Lightning Dust: -shoots her son a hard stare- Sky.

Skychaser: …-miserably begins his trek to the back door. He dreads returning to training. At the same time, he finds himself actually thankful that this incident, with unfortunate irony, has finally allowed him his break. On his way to the stairs he passes the living room, where he finds his father lounging with a sports newspaper. A part of Sky almost hopes he won’t notice him-

Dumbbell: -glances up for a moment, and just as quickly furrows his eyebrows and puts his paper down- What happened to you? You look like you just crashed into a tree.

Skychaser: -ducks his head in embarrassment- Y-yeah...I kinda lost balance and hit a pole- -hisses quietly when he accidentally, subconsciously touched the bruising spot on his foreleg. He’s reminded more than ever how badly he wants to rest and get away from training for once in his life. At the very least, just for the rest of the day. Surely that was a reasonable thing to ask for- -stares at his dad hopefully. Desperately, even- D-dad? It really hurts. My leg and my wings. Can you...m-maybe talk to mom? She wants me to train more later, and I don’t- I don’t think I can...

Dumbbell: -to Sky’s dismay, his father lets out a short disbelieving laugh, raising an eyebrow- What? Stop talking like a little filly, Sky, you’ll walk it off. It’s not like you need the side of your leg to fly. -picks his paper back up, folding one half back- Your mom knows what she’s doing, just do what she says.

Skychaser: …-with silent hurt and anger mixing within his chest, he continues to limp the rest of the way to the stairs. One step at a time, Sky’s heavy, struggling hoofsteps can be heard, yet (not to his surprise) his father proceeds to go about his own business.-

‘Why did I think he’d get it...he never gets it. He doesn’t care what mom does.’

-Sky pushes into his room and doesn’t bother to climb into bed. He grabs his portable CD player, throws on his headphones, and collapses onto his carpet. He hits “play” and simply lays there, but as he does, the words of his parents play on repeat within his head, blocking out the music. “Slacking”. “Filly”. “Walk it off”. Try as he might, any weakness, any failure to meet expectations, deemed him deserving of their careless words. Of being put down. A new yet familiar ache hits him. This time, within his chest.-

‘They won’t listen… No one will listen…’

Skychaser: (!!) -nearly leaps up when he feels something warm nestle up beside him. Swiftly turning his head, he finds an equally as startled filly staring at him with large, wide blue eyes. He throws his headphones off- S-Summer? -shakes his head baffled- Wait, when did you get in here??

Summer Rush: -the younger filly stumbles to her hooves, embarrassed- Sorry! I thought you were sleepin’! I heard you go by my room and you weren’t saying anything, so…-paws at the floor with her hoof-

Skychaser: -relaxes, his gaze softening- It’s fine. I guess you wanted a nap buddy again?

Summer: -nods her head shyly, lifting her gaze. But when she does, her eyes fly open upon seeing Sky weakly push himself up with one leg, keeping weight off of the other one- Hey, what’s wrong with your leg?

Skychaser: (!) Ah…-tries to conceal the forming bruise with his wing- Your big bro messed up while flying. That’s all. -forces a smile- I’ll be okay.

Summer: -suddenly appears frantic- What?! Oh no! -moves to nudge his wing out of the way, determined to see the injury for herself-

Skychaser: -hesitates, but draws his wing back, revealing the spot that’s beginning to appear shades of purple and blue. The sight only causes his younger sister to appear more distressed, tears outright pricking at the corners of her eyes. This sends a guilty pang through his chest, so he quickly adds- Summer, really, it’s fine! It’s well…-glances away- ...not going to kill me. So don’t-

Summer: But it hurts, right?? It looks like it hurts really, really bad! That’s why you’re layin’ down and movin’ all weird!

Skychaser: Maybe, but-

Summer: -nose crinkles- Shush you! Stop trying to be cooler! -she pouts and motions for Sky to hold his leg out- Come on, gimme, this calls for some Summer magic!

Skychaser: -tilts his head, perplexed. But he does as he’s told. He watches as Summer squints her eyes and makes peculiar hoof-motions around his leg-

Summer: -singing quietly- Pain paaain, go away, come again another daaay… Skychaser wants to play, pain pain go awaaay… -sits back up straight, appearing satisfied with herself- There. See? I knew I could use that weird song one day!

Skychaser: ….-snrks, his wing quickly covering his mouth- S-Summer... sis, t-those aren’t the words...

Summer: ...waitwha.

Skychaser: -can’t stop himself, letting himself snicker- It’s ‘rain rain, go away’, silly. It’s a song to stop rain.

Summer: -stares blankly- Nuh-uh. -seeing Sky give an apologetic expression, as if he’s sorry for her learning the truth, her feathers ruffle from shock and embarrassment- WHAT?!

Skychaser: -laughs as Summer holds her own cheeks, near horrified- How in the world did you-

Summer: I DUNNO, T-THAT’S WHAT MY TEACHER SANG ONCE. I THINK. -holds head, as if her world had been turned upside-down- That explains...so much. Oh no…

Skychaser: -grins- I know what song I’m singing from now on-

Summer: HEY!

Skychaser: -laughs more at her grumpy pout. Perhaps he’s laughing harder than need be, but something about it feels good. Like it’s alleviating a pressure in his chest. He playfully taps the tip of Summer’s nose with a wing feather- I’m just teasin’, sis...but don’t expect me to let this go.

Summer: -looks like she wants to be mad, but can’t. She ends up cracking a smile, appearing shy again- Well, as long as you don’t think I’m lame...

Skychaser: -scoffs loudly, almost disbelievingly- How in Equestria could you think I’d EVER think that?

Summer: Well you’re...cool. -lays back down, pressed up against Sky’s side- You fly all AMAZING, and you win races and medals and mommy teaches you lots of cool stuff. -her eyes shine brightly- You’re so lucky...mommy says you’re gonna be a Wonderbolt when you’re all grown, and that’s too cool! And when I’m bigger, maybe mommy will teach me too, and we can be Wonderbolts together! That’d be so awesome...

-While Summer is blissfully lost in her own fantasy, Sky suppresses the desire to cringe. Lightning is so focused on him. Obsessed, even, into pouring all her effort into him...so there was little chance his mother would try to train Summer as well. He knows for his sister, that would be depressing news. After all, he never missed that starry eyed look in her eyes whenever she got to watch him fly. For a short moment, Sky almost wants to feel jealous; their parents go so much easier on her. Unlike him, she’s just their little filly. And oh how he wished for that himself. And yet, when he thought about it, he’d rather be the one on the receiving end of his mother’s sharp tongue. He couldn’t even bear to imagine his kid sister having to go through this pain-

Summer: -notices his silence- (?) Sky…? -frowns, and whispers- Does it hurt again...?

Skychaser: (!) -shakes head- No, I’m okay. I...think your pain-pain song really IS working its magic.

Summer: SKY , you meanie!!

Skychaser: -snickers, picking his headphones back up- Anyway...really, I’m fine. I’m just gonna...chill until mom calls me or something. You can take your nap if you want. I’ll keep it down.

Summer: (!) -her wide blue eyes shift to the headphones- Wait, can I listen too??

Skychaser: (??) I thought you were looking for a nap earlier?

Summer: But I never get to hear your CDs! Please?? -innocently blinks her large blue eyes at him-

Skychaser: -chuckles and playfully rolls his- Alright...but fair warning, you might not want a nap after hearing these beats.

-He unplugs his headphones and makes sure to lower the volume before clicking “play” again. Instantly an upbeat pop rock song drifts into the room. In immediate response, Summer cutely bops her head to the beat, staring straight ahead with wide glittering eyes that told him the tune is certainly resonating with her. Something about it fills him with warmth. Then again, his sister always has that effect. She often ended up unintentionally helping him push his worries aside, even for a short while.

With that, Sky exhales contentedly and lays his head down onto the carpet. If his leg wasn’t hurting, and if he didn’t have an audience, he would’ve loved moving about to this rhythm now that his mood has improved. He can feel it in his bones already, like the music is flowing through him and beckoning. But instead he opts to watch his little sister from the corner of his eye as she lightly moves her body and head side-to-side to the beat while laying beside him, her small wings opening and closing to match. He smiles. Just another reminder of how grateful he is, that a silly filly like her could simply enjoy his company, and his interests, and care for him all the same.-

Summer Rush and Skychaser had a sibling bond similar to Twilight and her big bro when they were young; they cared for one another, and never did they ever seriously fight. Summer admired her big brother immensely as a child, while Skychaser, the focus of his parent's expectations and judgement, found comfort in his little silly filly's warm presence and caring demeanor. The two were close, and Skychaser adored his sister more than anything when he was young. Too bad a single manipulative mom could one day tear that apart.

[tmsbrainrot]

Daydreamer (Version 1)

Summary: You were perfectly happy to pine after your study buddy, Kim Junmyeon, quietly and without expectation. That was until his roommate, Park Chanyeol, got involved. Appointing himself as your wingman, Chanyeol makes it his mission to get the two of you together. Do you dare get your hopes up? Will Chanyeol’s plan be a success, or will it end in heartbreak?

Genre: College!AU, DrummerYeol!AU, fluff, angst

Word count: 1,879

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | ?

The 20 minute drive to Chanyeol and Junmyeon’s apartment was the most fun you’d had in months. Your nights usually consisted of reading at the park, going home and studying, sleeping, getting woken up by your roommates, yelling at your roommates, then going back to sleep. You were fully aware of how sad that sounded so you didn’t mention it to Chanyeol. Not that you’d had the chance to mention anything to him. He’d talked the entire journey.

First, he’d spent five minutes calling you old for storing your music on CD’s. Apparently you needed to “get with the times” and “stop living in the past”. When he’d accused people like you of destroying iPod and MP3 sales you’d seriously considered pulling over and shoving him out of the car. He had then spent another five minutes lamenting your, quote, “emo 13-year-old” music taste.

“My Chemical Romance broke up in 2013. Get over it already!”

That had been the last straw. You’d exploded and told him to put his music on seeing as though you clearly needed educating on acceptable music. He had completely ignored the sarcasm dripping from your words and had produced a ridiculously tiny MP3 player from his voluminous hoodie pocket. He had also ignored your comment about how the MP3 player looked like a tic tac in his giant hands.

The following ten minutes had consisted of Chanyeol playing a variety of songs and explaining to you in a deadly serious voice that each song held the key to happiness within its melody. He’d explained, in great detail, the meaning of the lyrics for each song. He’d even explained how the instruments came together to produce different sounds and the affect the sounds produced had on the mind and body. It was all very interesting, although you didn’t understand a lot of the jargon he’d used. Still, listening to him speak with such passion was inspiring and left you with a warm feeling deep in your chest.

You’d been strangely saddened when you’d pulled up to his apartment block. The two of you had successfully removed Junmyeon’s bike from where it was crammed in the back seat and Chanyeol had turned to you with a sigh. “I guess this is goodbye.”

You’d laughed. “God, you’re so dramatic.”

“Please,” he’d said, covering his eyes with his hand and sniffling, “don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

Rolling your eyes, you’d got back into the driver’s seat and rolled down your window. “I’ll see you around, you giant baby,” you’d called out, pulling away.

“Miss you already!” he’d shouted back, waving enthusiastically and smiling that toothy smile that you couldn’t help but copy.

It wasn’t until you’d got to your apartment that you realised he had left his MP3 player in the passenger seat. Probably fell out of the cave that he calls a pocket, you thought wryly. Seriously, why does he wear a hoodie two sizes too big? Someone that tall has no business looking so small. Besides, if he’s going for the soft boyfriend look it’s not like he needs help from oversized clothes. Not with those sparkling eyes or adorable ears. Not to mention his fluffy hair and contagious smile... You felt your lips stretch into a grin as you unlocked the door to your apartment, MP3 player tucked into your jacket pocket.

Despite the fact that you had to be up in five hours for work you were filled with excitement. What had started off as an ordinary week was now a week of possibilities. Thanks to Chanyeol your flame of hope was now a raging fire, demanding that action be taken before it consumed you. Your study session with Junmyeon was scheduled for Sunday, giving you six days to come up with a plan of action. Plenty of time.

You’d dreamt up various versions of your confession, however being faced with the opportunity to make those daydreams reality shed light on how outlandish and embarrassing they actually were. You sifted through imagined scenarios as you got ready for bed, discarding the majority of them outright and picking apart the ones you sort of liked until you began to hate them. When you realised you’d been brushing your teeth for a good twenty minutes you decided to give up and tackle the problem again tomorrow.

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 10:32am] : morning study buddy! sorry to disturb you when you’re working but my roommate chanyeol told me you helped him out last night with the whole bike thing. can you believe that punk tried to convince me that he bandaged his own hands then rode home by himself? he’s always been a shitty liar. don’t worry, i didn’t beat him up that bad... haha! anyway, i just wanted to say thanks for looking after the kid. if you hadn’t been there he probably would’ve done something stupid and ended up getting seriously hurt. i owe you one!

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 10:34am] : btw he keeps asking for your number. says he left something in your car? you mind if i give him your number?

Me [sent at 11:00am] : no worries, i’m on break now anyway :) i couldn’t ignore a person in need. i’m too much of a saint for that. jk lol. you don’t owe me anything. yeah, he left his mp3 player in my car. you can give him my number

Me [sent at 11:01am] : also i didn’t think you were the type to beat up an injured man dr junmyeon! wow, chanyeol was right about you...

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:02am] : a saint? pfff

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:02am] : wait, what slander has chanyeol been spreading about me????

Me [sent at 11:03am] : i couldn’t possibly say

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:03am] : you’ve changed. the daydreamer i know would never keep secrets from their favourite study buddy

Me [sent at 11:04am] :  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:06am] : i don’t want to give him your number now. he’s clearly a bad influence

Me [sent at 11:06am] : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:09am] : meanie :(

Unknown [sent at 1:43pm] : y did jun send me a text with this number saying ‘you two deserve each other’???

Me [sent at 3:15pm] : chanyeol?

Unknown [sent at 3:16pm] : doc???

Me [sent at 3:17pm] : yeah lol

Chanyeol [sent at 3:17pm] : oh shit waddup

Me [sent at 3:19pm] : lmao he actually gave you my number

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:20pm] : was he not supposed to??

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:20pm] : y??

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:20pm] : do u not like me??? :’(

Me [sent at 3:21pm] : dude chill. he said he wasn’t going to that’s all

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:22pm] : so u do like me????????

Me [sent at 3:23pm] : you can’t see me right now but i’m rolling my eyes

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:23pm] : i’ll take that as a yes

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:40pm] : what r u doing?

Me [sent at 3:43pm] : i’m at work

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:44pm] : shit, my bad. i’ll stop bothering u

Me [sent at 3:47pm] : it’s cool. i’ll text you when i’m off

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:47pm] : :)

Once your shift ended you gathered your things from the staff locker, pulling on your jacket and patting the pocket to make sure Chanyeol’s MP3 player was still there, safe and sound. You’d messaged him as soon as you’d clocked out and he’d messaged you back immediately. The speed at which he replied was both endearing and a little worrying. He must be pretty attached to his phone if he can reply so quickly, you thought.

You’d arranged to meet at the park before heading to class so you could return his belonging. When you pulled up to the car park you saw him sitting on the curb, his long legs folded awkwardly and his hands on his knees. He was wearing the same black cap and hoodie, although he had traded the skinny jeans for sweatpants and the sneakers for the ugliest white shoes you’d ever seen. His head snapped up as you parked and he unfolded his limbs with visible difficulty, pushing himself up from his sitting position and loping over to you.

“Hey there,” he said, beaming at you. You grinned back, looking up at him and noticing a dimple had appeared on his left cheek. Your gaze rose to meet his sparkling eyes and you felt a sudden surge of affection. Before you knew it you had wrapped your arms around him in a quick hug. He let out a small gasp, stiffening at your touch.

Stepping back hastily you felt your cheeks begin to heat up. “I, ah, sorry,” you said falteringly. “I don’t know why I did that.”

Chanyeol didn’t answer, he just chuckled and patted your head. “No worries, doc. I was just surprised. Usually I’m the one initiating the hug.”

You laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, I bet. You seem like the touchy feely type.”

“Is that a compliment?” he asked, head tilting to the side and smirk clear on his face.

“Sure,” you said, his laid-back attitude easing your awkwardness. “It’s cute. You’re like a golden retriever.”

He pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. “You know, I feel like you’re making fun of me, but at the same time you’re saying things that make me all warm and fuzzy inside. It’s confusing.”

“My apologies,” you said, grinning. “I’ll try to speak plainly so you can understand.”

“Ah,” he said, raising a finger, “now I know you’re making fun of me.”

“You’re welcome.”

Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed and the ghost of a mischievous smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “You’re playing a dangerous game, Daydreamer.”

You shrugged airily. “Yeah yeah. Do you want your portable music device or not. I got a class to go to.”

“Portable music device? Are you trying to hurt me?” Drama queen Chanyeol had returned.

Rolling your eyes you pulled the MP3 out of your pocket and held it out to him. As he reached out to take it you notice his hands. “I see you changed the bandages. Do they hurt?”

He shook his head. “Junmyeon helped me. He said you did a really good job of fixing them up. Very professional.”

Your heartbeat quickened and once again a blush spread to your cheeks. “Oh,” was all you managed to reply.

A strange look passed over Chanyeol’s face, too quickly for you to make out the meaning behind it before it was replaced with his usual half-grin.

You cleared your throat meaningfully. “Well then, I’ve got to go. Don’t want to be late to immunology.” You turned to leave, opening the driver’s side door.

“Wait,” Chanyeol said, grabbing your arm. He seemed to be debating something. He kept opening his mouth to speak then closing it, frowning.

“What is it?” you asked, becoming increasingly nervous.

Chanyeol huffed, pulled his cap off, ran his fingers through his hair, placed the cap back on his head, then nodded to himself.

“Are you in love with Junmyeon?”

[bluesfortheredj]

I’m sure you are bombarded with requests now and hope you can take on this hard request. This one could be used at any time, but may be a long one. A Taron x reader where Taron is gone for months and his girlfriend sneaks a little surprise in his suitcase before he leaves. She gives him a stack of envelopes with instructions to open on specific occasions-like open me now, when your feeling stressed, missing her/family, need a laugh, bored, sad, etc. & she adds extra things like photos & gifts. & May I request a Taron x Reader? Taron’s gf sends him off with a mixed cd for when he travels. She puts on some of their favorite songs and surprises him with a sweet message she recorded for him. She starts off with “Hey Tar-bear...” and tells him how much she misses/loves him and she’s always there for him. Then the music starts playing and the very last song is her singing a song she wrote for him. The song could maybe be “Stand By You” by Rachel Platten, or if you can think of a better one...go for it. Maybe Ed Sheeran helps with it? And at the end Ed says some smart ass remark that if Taron doesn’t marry her, he will.

“I hate saying goodbye,” Taron says sadly as you stand next to his waiting cab, your hands interlinked.

“So do I,” you sigh, leaning your head against his chest to inhale his comforting scent.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” he mumbles, leaning his chin on top of your head. You let go of his hands to reach around to his back and grab fistfuls of his jacket as he does the same to you, wanting to feel the warmth of each other’s bodies for as long as possible before he left.

“Taron,” you mutter into his body.

“Yes?”

“Don’t go.”

“Fuck, I wish I didn’t have to, trust me. (Y/N), I don’t think I can let go of you right now,” he admits. You laugh, and start to lean back, making it easier for him to leave. He pouts as you loosen your grip on him and he has to the do the same as you pull further away from his body.

“Now go before I start crying,” you say, eyes already welling up with tears. He leans down and kisses your lips softly, savouring the moment as much as he can by pulling away in slow motion.

“I’ll see you really soon,” he nods, backing up to the car door.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

You watch as he gets into the car, and watches you out of the window until you’re completely out of sight. Your heart starts to ache, but you feel excited about what is in store for him with this new film, and of course the little surprises you slipped into his bags. The first one is in his carry bag that he put on the back seat next to him, so hopefully he should be finding that any second now, and you walk back indoors with a smile on your face.

Taron sits in the back seat of the private taxi with a huge pout on his face as he thinks about you left at home on your own. He tries to shake the feeling, but it never seems to get any easier, no matter how many times you’ve spent time apart while he was filming before. He gets his phone out of his pocket to text you, then thinks better of it, knowing it’s way too soon, so rummages in his bag for something to amuse himself with. His fingers graze what feels like a CD, but he could have sworn he didn’t put one in his bag. Curiosity gets the better of him and he pulls the object out of his bag to see a hand written CD cover inside the plastic. The words ‘play me’ are scrawled on the front in your handwriting and you’ve drawn small hearts and stars around the edges. He smiles to himself, bites his lip in excitement, and slips it back into his bag, saving it for the plane journey.

As soon as he’s been seated on the plane, he gets the CD out of his holdall again, his eyes lighting up again as he stares at your handwriting.

“Hi, sorry, excuse me, have you got anything I can play this on by any chance?” he asks the air steward as they go to walk past him.

“I think we may actually,” he replies, going off to find a portable CD player. Miraculously he finds one and brings it back to Taron.

“Thank you so much!” Taron beams, taking it from him and plugging his earphones into it as he inserts the CD. Your voice fills his ears, and he smiles, closes his eyes, and pretends you’re sitting right next to him as he listens to your speech.

Hey Tar-bear. By now you’re probably up in the air somewhere, and I’m sat at home missing you like crazy. But I’ll be fine, because I know you’re off to do something that will blow my mind. I’m so proud of you, Taron. And no matter where you are in the world, I’ll always be there when you need me, day or night. I love you with all my heart and I can’t wait to see you whether it be through a phone or in person. Speak soon and enjoy the music.

Taron pauses the CD, taking his earphones out and placing his hands over his face as he tries to keep his emotions in check. A small tear escapes his eye, and he wipes it away immediately, taking a quick glance around at the first class cabin he was in. Luckily everyone was either asleep already, or had their nose stuck in a book. He takes a deep breath and puts his earphones back in, then presses play. His favourite songs play, ones that remind him of you, ones that remind him of his family, and then finally there’s your voice again.

Hey, I hope you liked the playlist. The next song is going to be super embarrassing for me, so I’m glad I’m not listening to this as well. You know how you always say you like my singing? Well, the next song is for you, and only you.

He listens carefully as you start to sing the last song, your voice quiet and a little nervous, but beautiful nonetheless. Taron smiles to himself and places a hand right over his heart as he takes in the lyrics.

...you catch me in your eyes, that beauty on my pillow, that holds me in the night…

Taron closes his eyes as he imagines you singing this right next to him, so close that he can reach out and touch you.

...and I wanna be your everything and more, and I know everyday I say it, but I just want you to be sure, that I’m yours, that I’m yours…

He sighs as the song ends, wanting to hear your voice on repeat over and over.

Just one more thing… I had some help with recording that song, and they wanted to give you a message. Oh! And this isn’t the last of your presents.

Hey Taron, it’s Ed, long time no see buddy! Listen, just one thing yeah, if you don’t marry this woman, I bloody will. Have a great time out there, (Y/N) will be safe and sound back here, don’t worry.

The CD ends and Taron laughs to himself at Ed’s comments. He takes his earphones out and slides his phone out of his pocket to send you a message. His fingers start typing, but there’s no way he can put in to words how he feels about that CD, everything he types seems so insignificant after that, so he decides to facetime you when he lands instead and spends the rest of the flight asleep with a grin across his face.

When he lands, he’s driven straight to the hotel and unpacks his case straight away in an effort to find his phone charger. As he sifts through clothes, he finds a stack of envelopes neatly tied up with ribbon in between his pants and his shirts.

“What the-?” he asks out loud as he unties the ribbon and looks at what’s written on each envelope. He reads them one at a time, placing them out onto the bed as he does.

Open me when you find me, open me when you’re feeling stressed out, open me when you miss me, open me when you miss your family, open me when you’re angry, open me when you’re sad, and open me when you need to laugh.

“Gah! I want to open them all now!” he whines. He picks up the ‘open me when you find me’ one and lifts the flap to reveal its contents. He pulls out a Polaroid photograph of the both of you kissing, taken by a friend at a party a few months back, and on the white border you’ve written my favourite place to be. He laughs, remembering the night and how you two had been completely inseparable.

“That’s it,” he sighs to himself, making one last attempt for his phone charger and finally finding it. He plugs it in to the wall and as soon as his phone is hooked up, he gets facetime up and presses your name.

“Oh my god Taron,” you laugh as you squint at the phone screen when you answer, “it’s like… 4am… and this is not a good look for me.”

“I love you,” he says seriously, “I really fucking love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too,” you chuckle, “what’s all this for?”

“The CD, your stack of amazing presents.”

“You haven’t opened all of them have you?”

“No! I was tempted. I’ve only opened the first one, but technically I’m missing you, family and I’m sad… So...”

“Taron!”

“What?! Can’t help what I’m feeling.”

“You just can’t be patient can you?”

“Nope,” he grins.

“Fine,” you say, rolling your eyes at him, “you can if you want, but try and save the others for at least a couple of days!”

“I will, I promise. You look so beautiful.”

“Oh my god, stop. I’m not even properly awake!”

“It’s true though. That photo you put in the first envelope, it’s my favourite place to be too, right next to you,” he smiles, looking at your sleepy face lovingly.

“Then hurry back,” you chuckle, “go get some sleep, you must be feeling exhausted after all that travelling.”

“I will, don’t you worry about that. Yeah, it’s starting to set in now, I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Please do. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

You end the call and he pouts a little as your face disappears from his screen. He perks up when he remembers the envelopes, and decides to open four of them already. The ones for when he’s sad, missing family, missing you, and need to laugh. He places the others in his case, trying to resist the temptation to open any more, and sets out the four in front of him, ready to choose which one to open first.

The missing family one is the one he chooses to begin with, and what comes out is a photo of him with his mum and sisters, and two hand written notes from his siblings. His eyes well up, but a smile stays fixed on his face as he reads what his sisters wrote. Even you didn’t know what they’d written, so it was extra special for Taron when he found them. He dries his eyes and opens another straight away, this time the ‘sad’ one, and finds a selfie of you with a huge cheesy grin on your face and your eyes closed, along with a list of all the things you’d spoken about doing together, like camping, going to a spa, and seeing the northern lights. His grin widens as he thinks about how amazing it was that you remembered all these things, and he holds your photo in his other hand.

“This is too much,” he sighs to himself, thinking about the time and effort you put in to making all of this for him. He puts the two opened envelopes and their contents to the side and goes back to the next two.

He picks the ‘need to laugh’ one and tips out a list of the worst jokes you could find on the internet. His laughter fills the room as he reads through them, imagining you saying them to him, and his tears turn to happy ones. Once he’s composed himself again, he chooses the last one he’s going to let himself open tonight, the one for when he’s missing you. He takes a deep breath before opening it and out slips two pieces of paper. One has a collage of photos of you and Taron on it, the biggest one in the middle being a picture he took on his phone of the two of you cuddled up in bed, your bare shoulders showing above the covers. He remembers the warmth of your skin against his and closes his eyes for a few seconds to relish in the memory, even though in reality it had been a matter of hours ago that you were wrapped around each other in bed. The other piece of paper had a hand written note from you on it.

I miss you too, Tar-bear. Won’t stop until you’re back. X

“Fuck,” he exhales, his breath catching in his throat as he tries to hold back tears again. He decides that’s enough for tonight, and props up the photos next to his bed, then finally climbs in and goes to sleep.

It takes him five days until he has to open the ‘angry’ envelope. You’d had a rough day at work and when Taron had phoned you, you’d broken down in tears about how your manager was continuing to bully you out of your job, and you didn’t know how much more you could take. When you’d calmed down and the conversation had ended, he’d almost punched the wall of his hotel room, but managed to control his feelings when he thought of your envelopes again. He rushed to his suitcase and pulled it out, ripping it open without hesitation. There’s a CD inside, and he puts it into the DVD player in his room to play it. The song that plays is Three Little Birds by Bob Marley, and by the end of the song, Taron’s singing along, the words he said to you minutes before.

“Don’t worry about a thing, ‘cause every little thing’s gonna be alright,” he smiles.

It was another two weeks until he needed to open the ‘stressed out’ envelope. He was missing you like crazy, and it drove him to distraction while on set, fluffing up his lines a couple of times. He felt frustrated with himself, but managed to carry on through like the professional he is. When he got back to the hotel, he went straight for the envelope and when he opens it there’s a note.

Text me the word ‘stressed’ x

He does as you say, waiting patiently by his phone until it beeps with a message from you. As he unlocks his phone and your message appears, his eyes light up with excitement upon seeing your half naked body. You exchange photos and short messages for the next hour or so until you both relieve yourself of stress, then he rings you up, still out of breath.

“That was hot,” he says.

“I know! We should do that more often.”

“Definitely. Video chat next time though, yeah?”

“I dunno, I feel kinda-”

“Sexy. You’re so fucking sexy, (Y/N).”

“You’ve persuaded me,” you laugh, “why were you feeling stressed?”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry. I’m all good now. Only five days until I can come home and properly thank you for all these amazing gifts.”

“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“I’m sure. You must be tired, get some sleep and I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he says softly.

“Okay, you’d best get thinking about how you’re going to thank me,” you say, letting Taron hear the smirk in your voice.

“Oh, don’t you worry about that,” he grins to himself.

@ericaprice2008 @brianagunter @reedusteinrambles @bohemianrhapsody86 @lizziespidiepridie @thestrawberryblondehobbitbatch @marvelmakeuplover @fluffyeggsy

[ozdust-ballroom]

This is a babble about Nina Tucker/Delta Goodrem. I’ve been watching Delta’s Neighbours clips over the last couple of days and I’m feeling emotional and nostalgic. 

I’d been watching Neighbours ever since the week I was born because my mum loved it and when the character, Nina Tucker, came onto my TV screen in 2002, I had no idea how much of an impact on my life this character would have on my life, and it wasn’t until later in 2002/early 2003 that I finally took notice of her and the woman behind the character. Without Delta and her music, I would not be the person I am today. I don’t think I’d even be here, alive and breathing, today.

When people at school found out how much I loved Neighbours, I got bullied something chronic (by people who called themselves friends) for loving it, loving Delta, and wanting to go to Australia even though Delta/Neighbours wasn’t the entire reason I wanted to visit (I have family over there) but that didn’t stop me watching it. It became my first TV obsession, and Nina Tucker quickly became my favourite TV character. She remains one of my favourites even now, 14 years later. 

Watching those old episode (technically clips) on YouTube over the last couple of days I’ve realised several things:

Nina was such an awkward character when she first arrived, and I truly never realised it before. She was constantly avoiding conversations, running away from people, and leaving rooms whenever people walked in. Basically, I could see so much of myself in Nina that I hadn’t seen before. I’ve watched these videos so many times and I can’t believe I haven’t noticed before!

I realised how much of a jerk Jack Scully was towards the end of the relationship. I had such a crush on him when he was dating Nina, and I just loved their relationship when I was first watching but upon rewatch I’ve decided that he was such a jerk. He basically just wanted sex, and when he couldn’t get it from Nina he was to someone else and then regretted it so when Nina was ready he said no. To be fair I was only 11/12 when they were dating so obviously I never picked up on it the first time I watched, but now it’s so clear! Same goes for how Nina and Jack got together; cheating. I guess it’s true what they say though, regarding Jack, once a cheat always a cheat. I can’t help but still love them despite that though, they gave me all the feels and I shipped them before shipping was even a thing. They may not have been the best, or the most stable relationship ever but when I was younger I didn’t care and I just wanted to one day have a relationship like theirs.

I had no idea how many of Delta’s songs were featured in the show back then. For some reason, I only remember Born To Try and Lost Without You, but there were four or five others that were featured too! I thought it was so great that Nina was singing, and how lovely her voice was. I had no idea that the person behind the character would actually be releasing an actual album the same year with those songs on it!

I have to admit that the episode Nina comes home from tour, and the episode where she breaks up with Jack remain two of my favourite episodes of TV to this very day. I remember them both so clearly (maybe because I had the Nina returns from tour episode on VHS because I wasn’t home when it was on so my Aunt recorded it for me, and back them I refused to miss an episode) and little did I know that it wouldn’t be long before Nina would be off my screen until late 2004. When the episode where Nina returned aired in the UK I was so happy that Nina was back (even though it was only for a few episodes), and even happier that she and Jack were back together and then the episode where Jack finally goes to meet Nina in LA happened and my little heart was full of feels! I thought the last time we’d see Nina Tucker would be in the 20th Anniversary episode, and that was fine with me. My two characters got their happy ending and I was happy. Then it was announced that Nina would be back for the 30th Anniversary episode and, I kid you not, I cried. At this point I hadn’t watched Neighbours since 2008 (when it moved from BBC to Channel 5), and didn’t have a bloody clue who was even in the show anymore but I knew I had to watch the anniversary episodes! Those episodes truly made me so happy, seeing Nina grown up and successful (and still with Jack. This part honestly gave me the feels). Seeing Delta back in the show that introduced her to me. I was just so incredibly happy, and shed more than one tear whilst she sang.

I honestly can’t imagine my life now without Delta’s music. There have been so many times over the last 14 years that I’ve turned to her music to get me through shit times: 

When my parents split up I believe Innocent Eyes had just been released in the UK and I was listening to it constantly and it was my escape from a pretty crap reality (fun fact: I’ve had 3 copies of this CD. My first got so scratched because it was constantly in and out of my portable CD player; my second I bought when my first became too damaged to play; and my third copy came via my cousin when I was in Aus in 2015). From the age of 12 this CD has been one of the very few things that gets me through bad times, and I honestly couldn't be more thankful for it. (I can’t forget about the Innocent Eyes Tenth Anniversary Edition because, I mean, it is truly perfect. I loved every single song the first-time round, but hearing them like this just made me so happy and full of a warm, fuzzy feeling).

When her second album came out I was struggling a lot with my personal identity and still being bullied pretty badly (not for the Neighbours love this time). I remember getting it and just playing it in my dad’s car all the time (he was thrilled of course).

Her third album is the only album that I didn’t get as soon as it was released, purely because I don’t think it was in UK shops (correct me if I’m wrong), but when I was in Australia I bought myself a physical copy (fun fact 2: I wanted my best friend to listen to Delta and this is the album she decided to download and she likes it a lot more than I thought she would).

I was a couple of months into my first year of university when Child of the Universe and my first year of uni was tough for me. I had a lot of mental health issues but this CD was literally one of the things that kept me going. I’d put it on in my room when I was alone in the flat; I’d sit in the communal area/kitchen and listen through headphone; I’d listen to it on my way to uni to calm me down. I truly owe my sanity to this album.

Wings of the Wild came out last year and I will admit that, at first, I didn’t love it. It was so different to what I was expecting, but now I adore it (apart from Wings because hearing that a million time on repeat whilst waiting for 5 hours in a queue to meet Delta wasn’t exactly thrilling. Sorry not sorry). One of the songs on this album that speaks to me on many levels is Heavy. I cried the first time I heard it, and even now after thousands of plays it still really hits me. 

Her albums always seen to be released exactly when I need them to be. 

I know I talk a lot about ‘my faves’ but Delta is so much more than that. She’s my idol, she’s the person I aspire to be, she’s my ‘I’ll fight for you no matter what’ person, and she’s what got me through my teenage years. I am so incredibly thankful that Neighbours brought her into my life in the form of that shy schoolgirl Nina Tucker. I actually wrote Delta a letter, and gave it to her when I met her in Melbourne in 2015 basically thanking her for helping me through life but ‘thank you’ doesn’t seem strong enough to me. I don’t think there are any words that can fully express how much she truly means to me.

I go through phases of listening to specific types of music (mostly musical theatre to be honest) but no matter what I always circle back to Delta. I can go months without listening to her, but you can guarantee that if I need cheering up, a good cry, or a dance I turn to Delta every single time. I always will.

[konnl]

Goat Wisdom

The first period of the day is coming to an end. Three friends are exhausted from hearing their teachers talk all day about nonsense – time to skip class, smoke up, and relax. During the get-away, one of the friends finds himself in a difficult dilemma after being given the best advice of his life from an unlikely source.

Goat Wisdom is April’s flash fiction that brings readers into the eyes of a teenage boy who is stuck in a weed-induced conflict that will change his high school experience forever. Enjoy the story in written word, audio, artwork and soundscape.

Goat Wisdom

In Hell

It was one of those days at school. A day you wish you didn’t have to go because the teachers breathe down your neck about everything you do, and the other normie-kids talk about stupid music and TV shows. Not to mention you see your crush hitting it off with her new boyfriend – the quarterback of the football team. Honestly, a day like this was a typical day at school. I can’t really recall a good one. Oh well. Cheers to the best times of my life.

I fiddle with my pencil, carving into the desk’s wood, following the texture of the plank, filling it with lead. It was a mundane, pointless activity that I like to do while I was in the classroom. Carving lead into the desk was better than listening to Mr. Patton ramble on about physics. Where am I even going to use this stuff? I don’t want to be some sort of Einstein. Apparently, we’re supposed to take all types of sciences in grade 10 so we can decide where we want to go. I know where I want to go: cloud 9.

“I want you all to turn to page 27,” said Mr. Patton. “Read the assignment. You can do the first portion of the assignment for the rest of the class and the second portion when you’re home.”

The whole class – of about 30 –pulled out their pencils, turned to the right page and began reading. Some of the keeners in the front were the quickest to turn the page, probably because they were following along with Mr. Patton unlike me. I just flipped open to a random page to look like I was paying attention.

“Hey man,” whispered the boy next to me.

I turned to look at the boy, Alex, one of my good pals. For the first time today, I noticed his Goat Lord T-shirt – a kick ass death metal band we enjoyed. We actually had the same shirt and made sure we didn’t wear it on the same day. He could wear it on Wednesdays, I wore mine on Tuesdays. The last time we matched shirts, the jokes were aplenty about us being a couple. Now we avoid that risk.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“You want to get out of here when we are done class?” He asked.

“Damn right I do,” I said.

“Right on, you got some green in your locker?” Alex asked.

“Sure do,” I said with a grin. “We should get Felicia in on this too.”

“You just want to try and stick your hands down her pants,” Alex said.

I tightened the grip on the pencil. Alex’s words irritated me because they were right. He was a good friend and had the rights to remind me if I was doing something stupid. I just didn’t want to hear it. I couldn’t understand why she would go for someone like Don. I suppose being quarterback made you cool despite being a complete dud. Then there was his goofy face.

“Well,” I said. “If I run into Felicia, I will talk to her. If I don’t, we can just head to the ravine instead.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” Alex said. “As long as she is cool with my mixtape.”

“Totally, she’s into metal.”

“Yeah, the mainstream stuff,” he mumbled while staring down at his book. His face painted confusion while reading the text – probably a very similar version of my own expression throughout the class. Neither of us was interested in physics. Got to love that forced education system hey?

For the rest of the period, we stared at our assignments, pretending to work. Alex was doing something in the book while I doodled around the edges of the paper. Unfortunately, Mr. Patton watched everyone like a hawk, waiting to strike its prey. He loved catching students misbehaving. That’s why we pretended to work. Later, we would pay off one of the smarter kids to help us with our assignment. Smart kids like drugs too.

Eventually, the heavens heard our agony, and the bell rang.

Finally, I thought. That class could not have ended soon enough.

Gathering the Goods

Alex and I packed up our things and hurried out of the classroom. We had our exit strategy on routine and were often the first one to leave the class, despite being in the back of the room. Alex and I walked through the hallway to our lockers. They were at the opposite wings of the school. It was kind of a bummer, but we always knew where to meet up when skipping class. Physics was pretty dull, but the next period was social sciences. God no.

I hurried through the hall to get my locker. My route when leaving physics class took me right past Felicia’s locker. On most days I could see her making out with Don. That creep would have his hands all over her body. The rage I felt mostly comes from jealousy. Truthfully, that’s what I wanted you to her.

Just like every other day, she was at her locker. Lucky for me, today, Don was not here.

Looks like Felicia can have some fun, I thought.

Slowing my pace to a relaxed stride, I approached Felicia as she sifted through her locker. I nodded my head at her, saying, “hey sup?”

“Hey!” Felicia jumped and smiled at me. There it was, that deadly smile, one that could freeze even the most willful of souls. She had a way with her grin – and maybe her whole mouth. I’d love to find out. Either way, I sometimes wondered if she was friendly to everyone or she actually liked me. We’ve known each other since junior high. My feelings for her just multiplied over the years. It probably had something to do with teenage hormones.

“Alex and I are going to the ravine to have some dope. You want in?” I asked.

“Yes! I do.” Felicia shut her locker and adjusted her backpack. “We going now?”

“Yep, going to meet Alex just out by the east wing.”

“Think we have some time to grab Don?” Felicia asked.

“Uh, probably not,” I said. “Doesn’t he have to go chase around some boys on the football field?” I said humorously.

Felicia giggled and brushed her red hair aside, exposing her neck. “So how was Mr. Patton, Is he still running that dictatorship of a classroom?”

“You betcha,” I said as the two of us began to walk. “How about you?”

“Oh, you know, math is math. I don’t mind it. I just can’t wait to get the hell out of here.”

“Two more years,” I said.

Felicia and I reached my locker where I snagged the small jar that contained joint. I always tried to reduce the smell by hiding it inside a glass container with the cork. It reduced the scent a bit. The method wasn’t perfect though. As long as I kept it at the bottom of my backpack, no one would know as we left the school. With the joint obtained, Felicia and I left my locker and went to find Alex.

The two of us continued to walk down the hall to the opposite wing of the school. Alex’s locker was right beside the exit to the football field and the track and field course. The two of us chatted during the walk about the same stuff we usually did: movies, music, and video games. Time was a blur with that girl.

Blow This Pop Stand

Felicia and I exited the school find Alex leaning against the brick wall. The boy saw us and perked up.

“There you are,” Alex said. The statement was obviously directed towards me. Alex was not too fond Felicia. He could see how this girl had me wrapped around her finger – whether she knew it or not. Plus, Alex was kind of a purist when it came to music. If anyone didn’t fit within his criteria of taste, they were not cool enough to hang out with them. He probably tolerated Felicia just because I liked her.

“Yeah man,” I said. “I was just grabbing my stuff.”

“Cool,” Alex said while walking with Felicia and I.

“I’m so glad you guys can get your hands on some dope,” Felicia said. “My dad would kill me if he knew I was into this.”

“Me too,” I said. “I just don’t give a shit.”

The three of us laughed as we walked across the grass. Felicia’s eyes seemed to look at the football field as we moved by it. The football players were all training together in their uniforms while the coach directed them to perform specific tasks. That never looked fun. But I knew Felicia was not looking at the scene, she was trying to see if Don was there.

That douche, I thought.

Eventually, our path took us to the fence at the end of the school’s property. This fence was directly beside the river valley where we were able to move down the dirt path. This path was made mostly by students. It wasn’t paved or covered in gravel which meant roots were sticking out. Bumps and ditches were also throughout the trail. The three of us had to pay close attention as we descended deep the ravine. We continued through the forest until we found our familiar secluded spot. It was off the beaten path and difficult to see due to the thick foliage and dense trees.

Getting High

“Secluded enough?” Felicia said.

“Well, we don’t want to get caught,” Alex said as he pulled out his portable boombox from his backpack.

“This is the usual spot Alex and I go to smoke,” I said while taking the glass container out of my backpack along with a lighter.

Felicia began to play with her hair saying, “boy I feel special.” She smiled. That deadly smile again. It caught me, and I couldn’t look away.

Blaring metal music shot me back into reality, and I looked away from the girl to see Alex had put a CD into the boombox – good old Goat Lord. I didn’t even realize how long I was staring at Felicia for. Thankfully, she was staring at me, and she didn’t look away after the music started.

She’s into me, I thought. Oh, how I would love to make some kind of move on her.

Feeling cool since I had Felicia’s attention, I took the joint out of the glass container and lit it. I brought it to my lips and took a puff, embracing that sweet taste of green. The smell of marijuana filled my lungs and the air around us. I passed the joint to Felicia. She inhaled and then exhaled slowly, letting the smoke ease its way out of her mouth and past her lips.

“That’s smooth,” Felicia said while passing the joint Alex.

“The best,” Alex said while taking the joint and having a puff.

We continue to pass the joint around, each embracing the wonderfulness of the drug. Each puff that we had caused the weed’s effects to grow stronger in our systems. We laughed, joked, and chatted until there was nothing left of the joint. At this point, all three of us were feeling pretty good. Each of us gazed into different directions, downing our ears to Goat Lord. Felicia began playing with her hair while using a stick drawing the dirt. Alex was laying on his back looking up at the leaves. His head rested on his hands. He had a funny smile on his face that just wouldn’t go away. That is what made weed so awesome – it always put you in a good mood.

As for me, I tried not to stare at Felicia. Man, she is hot.

My mind wandered from the girl into bigger picture stuff, like what was the purpose of school? Society forced the youth to work so hard at pointless subjects. They want us to learn things we don’t care about. We barely even know ourselves, and we are trying to understand how particles move? It’s ridiculous. The other part of my mind got sucked back into the Felicia fantasy. She sat close to me. I wasn’t sure if it was the weed, or if she actually was leaning a little closer. It was a bit hard to tell while being high.

“KISS HER,” came a whisper.

I looked around, trying to see where the voice came from. It had to be Alex. The sound was a raspy male voice.

“DO IT NOW,” came the voice.

The voice came from Alex’s direction, yet his lips weren’t moving. Where was it coming from?

“KISS FELICIA,” came the voice again. This time I could see that the sound came from the Goat Lord T-shirt. The animal’s mouth moved as it spoke.

No way, I thought. This was the most intense experience I had ever had on weed. That goat was actually talking to me.

“KISS HER NOW, OR YOU WILL REGRET IT,” said the goat. The illustration of the goat looked directly at me while it talked. The mouth moved in a very human-like motion.

I was not a fool, I knew that T-shirts couldn’t talk let alone give pretty good advice. Even though I knew it was the drug talking, I liked what the goat had to say.

I looked away from the goat illustration and at Felicia. Her red hair, green eyes, smooth legs… everything about her. That goat was a reflection of my deepest desires. All I wanted to do was take Felicia into my arms and start playing suck-face. It’s all I ever wanted to do. From what I could tell she was into me too, despite being with Don.

I leaned in slowly towards the girl and then paused. No, I thought.

A moment of clarity hit me: if I kissed Felicia, what would that mean? Felicia was seeing Don, and things seem to be going well with them. I was already not in the good books with the football team, how much more difficult would that make my life? At the core of my relationship with Felicia, I was her friend. I truly cared about her. What if she wasn’t giving me hints and I did kiss her? She would feel betrayed and creeped out. Don would kick my ass.

“DO IT NOW!” came the commanding voice of the goat illustration. “DO IT NOW BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.”

I froze. This was a dilemma I never thought I would have to experience in my life. On the one hand, the girl wanted was right beside me – being questionably close. On the other hand, I could not tell if this was all just the weed. After all, I was getting advice from a talking goat illustration on a T-shirt.

“YOU MUST,” the goat said.

“No!” I shouted.

My shouting caught the attention of Felicia and Alex. Hell, I startled myself too. The sudden sound threw us all off, killing the weed-vibe we were experiencing. Felicia scooted away from me while Alex stood up, brushing the dirt and grass from the back of his shirt.

“What time is it?” Felicia asked.

“Probably getting close to the end of the period,” Alex said pressing stop on the boombox and grabbing it.

I stared at Alex’s T-shirt, my eyes fixated on the goat illustration. It was no longer animated. The eyes were as lifeless as they were before the weed. Its mouth didn’t move. There were no voices.

Regret

I got up on the grass scratched my neck, I felt nervous that I shouted out some words to my friends that had no context to the situation.

“Smoke much, man?” Alex said with a grin.

“I guess so. Shit, I had some bizarre thoughts,” I said. “I’m wondering if that thing laced with something else.”

“Doubt it. Seemed normal to me,” Alex said. “I think you just tripped some serious balls.”

Felicia giggled while the two of them began to walk back to the school. I followed them, and the three of us walked as a group. I wanted to tell my friends about the ridiculous experience I had with the auditory hallucination. The rational part of me said no. It was a ridiculous story, and it might weird Felicia out. Maybe I could tell Alex later. For now, this stayed with me.

The three of us exited the ravine and returned to the school property. We walked across the grass until we made it near the football field where the football team was just finishing up their training routine.

One football player noticed us, and he stepped away from the group, waving.

Oh no, I thought. Right away I knew it was Don.

Felicia waved at the boy at the football field. He began to jog toward us. Felicia hurried towards him, leaving me with Alex behind.

“There goes your girl,” Alex said.

“Yeah,” I said. There really wasn’t much else to say. Felicia had the most popular guys in school for her boyfriend. I was just her stoner buddy, watching in disgust as Don and Felicia embraced one another. Her arms wrapped around his neck. His hands firmly gripped her ass. The two of them began to make out disgustingly. I just couldn’t look at anymore.

“Let’s get something to eat,” I said. Truthfully, I wanted to get out of there.

He was right, I suddenly thought.

In that doped-up state-of-existence, I heard words of wisdom from an unlikely source. Instead of listening to the strange goat’s words, I decided not to. With a clear mind, I recalled the scene in the ravine: Felicia and my knees were nearly touching, she kept playing with her hair while leaning towards me, and she was looking at me for prolonged periods. She was just too shy to make a move – just like me. The goat was the voice of reason in the situation who was trying to guide me into something that would have been beautiful. The goat was providing words of wisdom, and I did not listen. I should have never doubted the Goat Lord.

[bajproject]

Memoir (Time Sampling) (2011)

I never used to be afraid of time. Seven years ago, if you asked me what my greatest fear was, I would have said something common –like spiders or death. But time is different; it isn’t something that you can see. Seven years ago, my life took a turn. Maybe it was just the time for me to learn that life couldn’t always be about cotton candy and rainbows. I don’t know why it happened, but I do know that I was ignorant— I never really saw how everything was changing and how time had brought the worst with it. Maybe I could have prevented everything––I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if I was the one who had the power to change what time had in store for us.

My fondest memories are those with you. You, in more ways than one, make up everything that I’m not. Yet, it was you that helped me realize that everything I’m not makes me everything I am. You understand me in such an exclusive way that sometimes I wonder if anyone else ever will. You make me laugh when all I want to do is cry. You believe in me, even when I don’t believe in myself. When I think of childhood, I think of you. Three concrete recollections come to mind, the first, I remember whenever it rains.

It’s a gloomy Sunday morning. Coronation Street is playing on the small television in the background and Mom and Dad are arguing in the kitchen. We hadn’t gone to church because of the rain that continued to pour. I linger in the kitchen archway, biting my nails.

“Whatcha up to monkey butt?” you ask from behind.I turn around and you give me a sad smile. You extend your arm out towards me and wait for me to grab hold.

“Come on, I have an idea.” you say as you lead me up the stairs.

You tell me to grab the blanket and a pillow from my room and meet you by the front door. I only have to wait for a second before you’re there too, with umbrellas and your portable CD player. You help me into my raincoat then quietly open the door. There’s a reclining lawn chair on the porch. We open the umbrellas to surround the chair; you lay down first then pull me to lie down with you. The blanket lies over top of us and you put the headphones between our heads. We’re in our own little bubble, protected from the world, locked away from everything. I’m safe and sound with you.

The second memory, I usually remember in the summertime.

It was the summer of the ladybug infestation. We had been begging our parents for a dog all year long, but our not-so-subtle hints hadn’t been getting us anywhere. I was lying on my bed with a colouring book when you came in.You had that smile on your face, the one you get when you have an idea.

“Let’s go outside.” you tell me, leaning against my doorframe with your arms crossed.

“Why?” I ask stubbornly even though I knew I would go with you, whatever the reason.

“If we can’t get a dog, we can have the next best thing.”

That’s enough to have me chasing you down the stairs. We caught a ladybug that day, not one of the yellowy-orange ones but the deep-red kind. We filled it up with grass beforehand and I reminded you to poke little breathing holes in the plastic wrap we had used to seal the cup— my first and only pet wasn’t dying on my watch. Lady-pet managed to escape her new home the very same day. I didn’t cry, Baby One More Time had come on the radio and my train of thought had been altered entirely.

The third, I remember when I’m with you.

It’s around Christmas time. It’s past my bedtime and I’m pretending to be sleeping. You peak your head in and bury myself under my covers. I hear you creep in, closing the door behind you. You turn on the TV and shake me.

“Stop pretending.” you say. I start giggling and open my eyes.

“Ever pull an all-nighter?” you ask me, sitting on the foot of my bed.

“What’s that?” I question back.

“It’s when you stay up all night silly. Wanna try?” I nod and you climb into my twin sized bed.

We don’t speak much; we just stay up watching TV until I can’t keep my eyes opened anymore. It couldn’t have been any later than midnight but you don’t say anything as you turn off the TV. I expect you to leave but you don’t. You’re there when I wake up in the morning.

I consider my “Childhood Years” to have ended around age eleven. Technically, yes, I was still a child doing childish things, but when you moved out, it wasn’t the same.

It’s 2006. You let me ride with you in the U-Haul all the way to your new apartment and back. We’re driving up the Highway of Heroes.

“Are you sad?” you’re looking straight ahead but I know you’re talking to me. We’re the only two in the truck.

“No.” I say, looking out of my window.

We pass the paper birch tree, and I know we’re almost home. I do a little dance in my seat to make sure you can’t see through my lie. I cry when you’ve finally gone.

I didn’t really see you much for the next two years; I guess you were just enjoying freedom. I’ve never blamed you because I knew you were finally doing what you’d always wanted. I’ve always wanted what’s best for you, even when I was 11 years old. Mom and Dad began fighting more and more. You weren’t there to distract me. You hardly even called. I had to learn to deal with everything on my own.

Our period of togetherness didn’t start until 2008 when Mom had her accident. It was the worst year of my life, way worse for me than it was for you. I was forced to grow up too soon, but it got us talking again. I think it was 2008 that made us realize how much stronger we are together than we ever could be a part. Our relationship has only gone uphill from there. Thanks to time, you’re my best friend again. You come to visit me every week and we talk on the phone for hours on end. I may not be better, but when I’m with you everything’s content. A day with you is my remedy for anything. My only question is what will happen next? I’m approaching the age you were when everything changed. Will time repeat itself?

I fear time because it’s unknown. It’s an abyss of possibility and failure, happiness and tragedy. Neither a friend nor a foe, time just passes you by. Can you trust it? Can you look forward to it? That’s the thing with life— no one ever knows; only time can tell.