#I can’t remember what other jobs i’ve done at the moment lol

[daboyau]

What kind of work do you do for a living, and do you like it?

I process orders for a software company! There’s a lot more that goes into it, but that’s the gist. I do enjoy it, mostly because I work fully remotely so I can work in my pj’s all day lol. If I wasn’t working from home I think I probably would have quit by now, though.

It’s one of those jobs that isn’t really exciting or super fulfilling, but it gives me some money and flexible enough time to go do the things that leave me feeling more fulfilled. :) I do really miss other jobs I’ve done in the past bc they were more interesting, but none of those jobs paid the bills so I just hold them as fond memories now. ✌️

[kylelovskii]

idk but now that kyle finally asked reader to be his gf, what if they were just hanging out and stuff so then kyle leaves to go do something but ends up coming back and sees reader masturbating and theyre just like a total hot mess on his bed waiting for him… just a thought bc im feeling pretty freaky atm LOL i need kyle hes such a meanie

-❤️ anon

been a while.. :3

i’ve missed writing about mean kyle, so let’s do this! 😈

the fuck do you think you’re doing?

“hey, baby, i’m gonna get some snacks for movie night, okay?” kyle told you, cupping your plush cheeks and kissing your forehead.

“okay..” you respond, closing your eyes as he plants his lips on your temple. you watched as he walked away. his white wife beater hugging him perfectly, and the way his basketball shorts hung perfectly around his waist. you’d been so desperate for him the entire day, but still so shy to even say anything. despite all the change, that old, shy, innocent (y/n) was still down there.

he shut the bedroom door behind him as he waltzed out. you knew he’d be gone for a bit. he usually likes to cook something up for the two of you on movie nights, then have extra snacks on the side. what to do with all this time?

who’s to say you couldn’t rub one out real quick? if he didn’t catch you, no harm no foul, right?

and with that last thought, you sunk more into his bed, reaching your hand down your baggy pajama pants. you pushed one finger between your folds, already so slick from just the mere sight of kyle a few moments prior. you massage the bundle of nerves between the pudge of your pussy, then push your middle finger into your hole.

you sigh at the relief you’ve been craving for the past 4 hours. sure, it wasn’t as good as kyle’s fingers, but it got the job done.

you add another finger, speeding up to make this process go faster so kyle wouldn’t catch you. kyle’s rule was, and i quote: “if i ever catch your fucking your self without my permission, you’ll be in a world of hurt, you get me?”

and you did get him, you just didn’t want to burden him when he probably didn’t feel like it. besides, it’s movie night, and why would you ruin that?

you were on the edge, so caught up in the release you were about to get, that you didn’t hear the bedroom door swing open. so caught up in how good you felt that you didn’t hear him yelling at you.

“hey! what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

you yelped, scrambling up against the headboard, staring at kyle, horrified.

“who said you could do that, huh?” he spat, slowly walking over to you, his fists clenched.

“wait— i’m sorry! i didn’t want to bother you, and—” you were cut off by the painful sting in your scalp when he grabbed your hair, pulling your face up to his. “don’t be fucking stupid. get up, strip.”

you were quite terrified to say the least, so you quickly got up and stepped back away from your fuming boyfriend. you took off your t-shirt, then your pajama pants. you stood there, half naked, staring at him.

“why are you looking at me like you can’t understand english? i said strip.”

oh. he wanted you naked naked. okay. you brought the straps of your bra down, your perky tits bouncing out. you then pulled the pink cotton panties off your waist and kicked them to the side.

“you wanna get fucked so bad? then you’ll get fucked. lay down,” he ordered, pointing to the bed. you whined and climbed on the bed, laying down, vulnerable for him.

he tugged off his shirt, then took off his silky basketball shorts and threw them in a laundry basket along with his boxers.

“i think you’ve had enough prep, yeah? being greedy all alone in here, not even bothering to ask me. you know the rules, don’t cha?” he asked, smooshing your face together with one hand, stroking his cock with the other. “answer me, bitch.”

“yes! yes i remember! i’m sorry, ky— please!” then you felt a sharp pain against your face. “i don’t care if you’re sorry. you broke a rule, and now you’ll get punished. nothing has changed,” he forcefully explained before shoving his dick inside you. you cried out which turned into a long whine.

“aw, yeah? see? your fucking fingers can’t do this, only i can.” he reached his hand up and held your neck tightly, but not tight enough to stop your breathing. he pounded into you, harder and faster with each thrust.

“hah— ky! i’m gonna— you’re—” you tried to speak, but he was fucking you so good you couldn’t even form a sentence. “no you’re not. not until i do. you don’t deserve it.”

he slid his hand up, prying your mouth open more with his thumb, and with that a small fetching noise came from his throat before he spit in your mouth. “swallow,” he demanded, and you did.

each time his cock went back inside your cunt, it only pushed you more to the edge. you didn’t know how much longer you could hold out, but then you heard a high pitched groan come out of kyle’s mouth and then a warm sensation shoot inside you. that did it for you and you hit your high, legs shaking, locking them around kyle’s waist to make them stop.

but he kept going.

“stop! stopstopstop! kyle— please, wait—” he covered your mouth with his hand to shut you up, which didn’t really work, but you stopped talking at least. “what’s wrong? can’t take it? this is what you’ve been so desperate for, right? so you will take it. shut up and take it.”

orgasm after orgasm, kyle finally let up and pulled out, but he hadn’t cum yet. he inched up near your face, took off his glasses, and shoved them on your face. lean leaned his head back, stroking his cock until he came all over your face, recreating the scene that happened at cartman’s house many moons ago.

he let out a guttural moan as he did so, sighing when he finally came down from his high.

“go..go clean up,” he slurred, flopping down next to you as you looked at him confused. “you’re not gonna help?”

“no. you’ve been a bad girl. besides, i cooked. that’s enough of caring for one night. and clean my glasses too!” he shouted after you as you walked into the bathroom connected to his room.

kyle always took care of you, but bad girls know how to take care of themselves, right?

[infiniteeight8]

Could we get a sequel to "who bound your magic?" (And if you've already written a sequel and I just haven't seen it yet since I usually read your fic on AO3 instead of here, could we get ANOTHER sequel? :-D ) Sequel could be what happens next, or one of the other characters' POV of what's already happened.

I have not yet done a sequel to this one!

The original ficlet is here: who bound your magic?

And now onto the sequel! Uh, quick warning that my knowledge of Teen Wolf druids is a bit fuzzy and largely remembered from fic, so if anything here is super wrong… just consider it a casualty of merging the MCU and Teen Wolf magic systems. LOL

-

Doctor Strange—talk about a kick ass name for a magic user—takes Stiles and Peter to his home base by portal. Just… puts on a ring, waves his hand, and steps through a hole in space time and into a completely different place.

“Welcome to the Sanctum Sanctorum,” Doctor Strange says, and Stiles can’t help turning in a circle, taking in the space with wide eyes. Now this is what a wizard’s home ought to look like! Deaton had always been so… mundane. “Wong!” 

Stiles jumps when Doctor Strange shouts. He glances at Peter, who just shrugs, though he’s on high alert.

After a moment, another man appears at the top of the staircase. He’s Asian, dressed in robes similar to Doctor Strange’s but in darker colors. “There’s no need to shout,” he says, descending the stairs. “If I am here, the Sanctum will alert me. If I am not, I won’t hear you.”

“I think you’ll be interested to examine Stiles here,” Doctor Strange says, gesturing at Stiles.

Wong reaches the bottom of the stairs and approaches Stiles. “With your permission?”

“Yeah, sure,” Stiles says, nodding.

Wong waves his hands around, and suddenly there’s a glowing pattern floating in the air between them. He examines it, and Stiles through it, with a frown. Eventually he waves it away. “Someone did not want you doing magic,” Wong says.

Stiles blows out a breath. “That’s what Doctor Strange said. I’ve only met a few people who knew about magic at all. Most of them were bad guys, so I guess it could have been one of them…” he trails off and looks over at Peter.

“But?” Doctor Strange prompts. 

“There’s a druid who’s supposed to be helping us,” Peter says, “and he’s never mentioned any problem with Stiles’ magic.”

“A ‘druid’?” Doctor Strange raises his eyebrows and turns to Wong.

“Hmm. A minor sect of sorcerers that broke off from the order in Ancient Greece,” Wong says. “I’m surprised they’re still around; they’re focus was… narrow.”

Stiles snorts. “They’re not only around, they act like they’re the final authority on all things magic. They say it’s their job to ‘keep the balance.’”

“Balance?” Wong huffs. “There’s no such thing. Not magically, anyway.”

“There is a price to pay for magic,” Stephen points out. “That might be where they got the idea.”

“Possibly,” Wong allows. To Stiles, he says, “I can remove the block on your magic, but you will require immediate training. Despite the block, you have clearly been reaching for your power. To do so without training is dangerous, for you and for the fabric of reality.”

“I am totally down for training,” Stiles says, bouncing a little on his toes. 

“I’m staying,” Peter says flatly.

“Of course,” Doctor Strange says. Both he and Wong look surprised. “We’d never ask you to leave your bonded, especially not with the energies he’ll be handling.”

“Bonded?” Stiles squeaks. Peter looks just as startled.

Wong sighs deeply. “Druids.”

[sunflowersandforgetmenots]

So glad to see you popping up on my dash!! I’ve got a req from the soulmates post!

#15 No harm done - soulmates are not able to hurt each other physically

This with Sevika? What if there’s a big fight and it’s down to the two of you and maybe you’re already pretty badly injured so she comes stalking over to finish the job and take you out but then she CANT 😫😭💕 OR!! Silco has you hostage and wants her to interrogate you? She’d wind up for a smack or something and just be stopped mid air. Either way, I’d love to see her face journey upon realizing who you are to her bc I imagine she’d be the type that’s convinced she’ll never find/doesn’t have a soulmate and now she has to accept that she is capable and deserving of love >:}

Also in the specific scenarios I can’t remember the number and I’m on mobile but the constant danger one would be so cute with Soma! Or really any of the ladies tbh they’re always into some shit lol I just always want more Soma in my life 💘

I'll write the Soma one later if I get the inspo in my brain for it! But here it is! Sevika for 15! It's a little angsty but also my first time writing for her!!!!

Summary: Telling Silco no is a bad idea, especially when he sends Sevika, his right hand, after you. Though... maybe it's not so bad if she can't actually hurt you?

Pairing: Sevika x Reader

Genre: Soulmate, Not Smut

Potential TW: Violence, some stalking, mentions of killing read

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The fear that struck your heart was not a new one, especially down here in Zaun. Fear was rampant in this place, no one was free from it. The lowest feared as prey, rabbits to be tracked and shot down by hunters. The highest weren’t exempt from it either, though the fear they felt was one born of greed. Of coins and power slipping through their fingers. 

It wasn’t like you intended to get on Silco’s bad side. You weren’t someone of power to be feared by others, you weren’t even really a threat to him. But you told him no. 

No, you wouldn’t serve his men. No, you wouldn’t distribute shimmer through Zaun. No, you wouldn’t back down. You liked Vander. You liked that he cared for his people without trying to beat others down. So what that he worked with Piltover? If it kept people safe, if it kept the upper side’s nose out of your business, so what. He was a father, a guardian. Silco was a monster. 

And you had told his right hand that, right to her face. Her rather handsome face, once found in Vander’s men, now stinking up the door to your establishment. It twists up in anger, in rage.

“What?” She had said, a simple, low voiced threat that had part of you thrumming with a disgusting streak of desire. 

“I said, no, Sevika. I’m not a pusher of some fucked up drug. I’m a fucking florist struggling to get through life down here. I can’t risk that.”

“Silco doesn’t take no for an answer, (Y/N).” She said. “Just because you’re ‘not the type’ doesn’t make you exempt from his requests.”

“He’s not a king. He’s not my boss.” You had responded, slamming the door shut in her face. She stayed there for a few moments, and you had feared for a few long moments that she was going to take that mechanical arm and punch through the door, taking your throat with it. 

Instead, she quietly left, taking her men laughing with her. 

You had thought that that was that. Silco and his men left you alone for a time, and instead, your flowers flourished. It was frustrating. There was an improvement with the shimmer, a double edged sword that you were sure would come crashing down on Zaun any moment. 

Then, Sevika started appearing standing on the other side of the street of your shop. Staring, waiting. Never making a move, never moving closer. It scared you, enough to make you change your routine, but like clockwork, she would adjust within a day. A predator, waiting for her chance to clamp her teeth around the throat of her prey.

So you decided to run. Pack your things and run. You could beg on the streets of Piltover. Hell, maybe you could even leave. Crossing Silco was one thing, but Sevika being the one to take you out? She was going to make it hurt. She was going to make sure that you weren’t found ever again. And you can’t risk it. 

Which is how you found yourself in this situation, sitting in some abandoned closet in some abandoned home, clutching a knife close to your chest as you hear Sevika rip through your belongings. 

You weren’t going to make it out of this alive, that knowledge settling deep in your bones. But you can give it a fighting chance, maybe she might make it quick, knowing you weren’t going to be a coward and die weakly. That’s the one thing you can do in Zaun: die strong.

Even so, a part of you mourned. You never figured out who they were, your soulmate, the one you were destined to love, waiting these long years in the darkness of Piltover. Waited for so long, only to be snuffed out by a mere puppet of a monsterous man who ruled your home. Your fingers tighten around the hilt of the knife as your killer approaches the closet. 

“Come out, (Y/N).” She says, voice low in that threatening way that made your stomach turn. “You know that you can’t fight me. Not with whatever little weapon you have. Silco just wants to talk.” 

“We both know that the talk is going to end up with me dead.” You say. You wish that you could respond with the confidence you had when you got yourself into this mess, all pride and strength. Instead, you just put your foot on the door, offering resistance for whenever she decided to rip it off the hinges. 

“Maybe if you stopped trying both of our patiences,” Sevika growls, punching the door for a threatening emphasis. “you wouldn’t be worried about that. You can either die now, or die if he gives the order.”

“I’m not gonna wait for that, and you know it.” 

She sighs, a deep, tired sigh. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

And the door comes right off its hinges, though your booted foot did nothing to give you time. The wood slings across to the other side of the room, and you start slashing wildly, missing each time before she knocks the dinky knife out of your hand with one flick. A scream escapes your lips, hoping beyond hope someone would take pity on your in your last moments, even if that someone was Sevika. You’re lifted up by your shirt collar and dragged out of the closet, kicking and sobbing for someone to save you. 

Your feet dangle, and without thinking, you wrap your hands around her organic wrist for some kind of subconsious reassurance. The feeling of her skin against your fingers shocks you. She’s human, just like you. but she’s fixing to kill you. She’s killed before. She’s watched the life drain out of so many people and you were no exception. 

Your touch does nothing to her, seemingly. No flinch, no hesitation. Instead, she pulls back her mechanical fist and pulls it back. You close your eyes, tears dripping down your cheeks as you brace for the end. 

But the end doesn’t come. And it doesn’t come for a few minutes actually. So you crack open an eye, looking at her with relief. She must have changed her mind. The look on Sevika’s face however, was one of horror. Her fist was still raised, and you see the muscle of her shoulder straining. Then, you’re gently lowered to the ground, her hand still loosely curled into the fabric of your shirt.

“Ch… Change of mind?” You ask, still terrified out of your wits end. 

“I can’t.” 

“Can’t what? Kill me?”

“Hurt you.” She says. The words seem to slip out of her mouth, like she wanted to stop them before they were spoken. “I can’t hurt you, (Y/N).” 

It takes a moment. At first, you think she’s simply taking pity on you, or maybe she respects you too much after your attempts to prevent your own death. Then it sinks in. Sevika tried to hurt you, but physically, she couldn’t. Which meant…

“I’m your soulmate. We’re… We’re soulmates.” 

Speaking it out loud only seems to upset her further. She shifts, turning her face away and letting her right hand drop from your person. Though she doesn’t move, she doesn’t speak. She just looks… uncomfortable. 

As you stand there, basking in the strange feeling that your soulmate just tried to kill you, that your soulmate was Sevika, you come to realize something about Sevika. You thought her a killer, someone ready to switch sides at any given moment but… now, as she stands there awkward as a teenager, you remember that she might have had expectations about this too. Hopes about soulmates, dreams about them. Was she disappointed? Was she ashamed? 

“What are you going to do?” Is all you’re able to ask, all you can manage to get out. 

She regards you out of the corner of her eye before she runs a hand over her face. “... Let you go. But you need to get out of Zaun. Never come back here.” She says. 

“What? But you’re my… you want me to leave after we just found out???” 

“Obviously!” She snaps. “Silco wants you dead, I can’t afford to fail, but…” She moves as though she’s going to pace, but then stops, like she can’t bring herself to move from you. There’s a pause before she rests a hand on your shoulder. “I never thought I would have one… would have you. You’re a weakness, that insecurity was a weakness. That desire was. It still is. So you’re going to leave Zaun, hell, maybe the whole city. I can’t have you haunting my steps.”

“So I’m a bother to you??” You ask, incredulous at the fact that she’s trying to get you to leave. Angry at the fact that you finally have what you’ve always wanted and now she’s pushing you away despite the fact that maybe now she can protect you.

“You’re a weakness. And a pain in my ass.” Sevika says. “I’m not… I’m not doing this. Just leave.” 

And before you can say anything, she pulls you into a kiss, hard, fast, and passionate. Better than any you’ve had before. And you mourn this bittersweet moment, because you know deep down that she’s right. 

Her loyalty is to Zaun, and if anything comes before that…

She’d have helped kill Vander for nothing, because she would do the same things he did to make sure you were safe.

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Hii I can’t remember if I sent this in or not🤔🤔

Can I please (if it���s okay) request a Platonic!Tangerine + Lemon x fem!reader where Y/n is around 5/6 years old. After Tan & Lem save The Son, they happen to have to stop for gas before driving to the train station (lol I can see how much they would argue about that lol like, 🍊-“How exactly could you steal a car that doesn’t have gas??” 🍋-“How exactly was I supposed to know that??”🤣). Y/n sneaks into their car while their arguing about getting gas, steals both their wallets, and starts to run off but they notice her and are easily able to catch up to her and bring her back (although she kicks them in the shins and swats at them lol). They see their younger selves in this tiny, mischievous little girl and once again bicker on what to do (whether or not to bring her with them since she has nowhere to go), lol and Y/n is like, “Are you two almost done? I’ve got LOTS of places to be” and they look at each other, then her like “….🙄”. Anywayyyys, she goes with them on the Bullet Train (as they didn’t think it would be as eventful as it became), and she’s sitting in her seat, holding a momomon plushie (that Tangerine definitely nicked for her lol), sipping a juice box, and watching Thomas the Tank Engine on Lemon’s phone with headphones the whole time it goes down. Butttt she accidentally saves Tan when she goes looking for him and Lemon (she misses them) and finds Tan right as he’s confronting The Prince about being a Diesel. She yells his name and runs up, jumping into his arms happily, also happily jumping into Lemon’s arms when they realize that he was just asleep 🥺🥺 Tan, Lem, and their now new little sister escape the train and go home to London together where they raise her🥺🧡💛

Hey Love,

It's embarrassing how long ago this was sent in. Thanks for being a great friend <3 Hope you enjoy!

“Did you actually steal a car with no fucking  gas in it?” Tangerine was pinching the bridge of his nose hating how his blood pressure was already through the roof and the stupid job wasn't even half over yet. 

“Well, it's hard to know which cars have gas or not,” Lemon answered easily as he pulled over at an empty gas station. He wanted to shout but settled for slamming the dashboard with his hand instead.  

He got out of the car to light a cigarette, he doubted the owner would get his car back, but still, he had manners. Lemon put gas in the car and Tan turned around to look at him, when in the corner of his eye he caught something move by his leg. 

“OI!” He shouted and instinctively reached into his pants pocket to feel an empty place where his wallet should be. “FUCK.” 

All the job details were scribbled on a napkin in his wallet, he took off into a run and caught the little kid. The first thing he noticed was how light they were. He felt triumphant as he caught the little bastard. 

The knotted mats in the boy's hair and the dirt on his face made his heart sink. 

He grew up with boys like this. He would thank God every day that his own mother held on as long as she did. He and Lemon still got put on a dark path, they had difficult childhoods, but nothing in comparison to what this boy must have gone through. 

In his moment of reflection, he realized the boy was kicking him. 

“Oi! Settle down.” He said unsure of what to do. He didnt know Japan well, not well enough to know a place to drop the kid where they would be safe. 

“Fuck you.” a little English accent hit his ears and his heart gave a twinge. “Bit far from home, eh?” He said watching the kid still struggling in his grasp. 

“Says you.” The kid bit back. 

“What the fuck is this?’ Lemon had come over and took the wallet from the kid's fist. The kid tried to lunge at him, jaw snapping like a dog. He looked around thankful to see that no one seemed to notice or care. 

“Piss off!” The boy yelled in a high voice. 

“Well, can't just let you go can we?” Lemon said in a serious voice. Tan assumed he was trying to scare the boy into better behavior. He flashed the gun on his hip and the boy stopped moving immediately. 

“Bit harsh” He mouthed silently. 

“I can stay with you then?” The kid's voice was soft and he suddenly realized that he was dealing with a little girl.

Tan and Lemon looked at each other. 

“Fuck.” Tan swore and hauled the little troublemaker back to the car. He would think of a plan on the way to the train. Maybe someone at the station would be able to help her find the authorities. Maybe she had parents desperately looking for her. 

Looking over her bruised skin and dirty clothes he strongly doubted it. She had been on the streets for a long time, which was strange considering she hadn't even been alive that long. 

He buckled her into the back seat and realized he was stuffing a small child next to a mob boss's incapacitated adult kid.  

He gave her a stern look. “No funny business.” She gave him a nod. She was going with them too easily. How many other men had picked her up in the past? 

He got into the passenger seat and Lemon pulled out of the gas station. 

“Is he dead?” The girl asks looking over at the crumpled man. 

“No, no, that’s our - um -” Lemon started. 

“Friend! He’s just really sleepy” Tan continued. 

“Jetlag, it’s a real killer.” 

“Oh.” She said easily. “Where are we going?” 

“On a train!” Lemon responded enthusiastically. Tan could have punched him in the face. Obviously, they weren't taking the girl on the mission with them. He reached into his pocket for a cigarette, to hell with the car owner, to hell with everything - except he wouldn't smoke in the car with a kid. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. 

“Lemon, we can't take her with us.” he hissed hoping she wouldn't pay attention. 

“Can’t leave her with the police.” He hissed back.

“No! I don’t want to go with them.” She looked scared for the first time. Tan’s stomach gave a painful lurch and he sighed in defeat. 

“See, she doesn't want to go with them,” Lemon said sternly. “She can stay with us until it’s over, then we can bring her back to England and try to find her family.” 

“I don’t want to go with them either!” Her voice got even higher a sense of panic evident in her features. 

“Well, then we can put you in boarding school or something?” 

“Like Hogwarts?” She said suspiciously. 

“Sure.” Lemon nodded. Tan gave him a light shove, he shouldn't be getting the girl's hopes up. 

“Wot?!” Lemon said in a sharp tone. “She’s not going to get into a decent university unless she goes to a good school.” 

“Ah yes, her university choices are what’s important right now,” Tan said in a voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“Never too soon to start thinking about your options. That was our mistake.” Lemon looked at the girl in the mirror. “What are you thinking? Doctor, neurosurgen, artist- “ 

“I was thinking about law actually.” She said in a mater of fact voice. 

“That’s even better, street criminal turned lawyer. Excellent origin story.” Lemon gave a nod of approval. 

Tan was thinking about how bad it would be if he opened the car door and jumped. The thought of being scattered across the highway was attractive, but he would never leave his brother. He sighed and prayed that the night would go by smoothly. 

______________________________________

After a quick stop for clothes and toiletries, they took over a disabled toilet and tried to clean the girl up. Thankfully she was at an age where she could manage almost everything alone leaving them to face the door. The son sitting on the toilet hunched against the tile wall. 

She could manage everything except her long brown hair. Lemon sat her on the edge of the sink, putting her feet in the basin. He combed out what Knotts he could and he watched the girl try to sit very still. He picked a purple jumper that would cover the bruises on her arms. She and Lemon picked out a pair of bejeweled jeans and some light-up sneakers. They got her the essentials and stuffed them all into a light purple backpack that had daisies embroidered into it. 

It’s stupid but it made him happy to do it. She got to pick whatever she wanted, no strings attached. Something he didnt have, that he could give to someone else. His heart felt a bit bigger, and he wondered if maybe he wanted kids someday. 

“I can’t get the bigger ones out without detangler so I’ll have to do a braid for now.” 

“Will you have to cut it?” Her eyes got wide.

“Nah, this is salvageable,” Lemon assured her and Tan wondered why he knew so much about hair. “We can get some proper stuff tomorrow.”

“Thanks for all this.” She said looking at her knees, face red. Lemon lifted her out of the sink and set her down on her feet. 

“Don’t mention it.” Tan patted her head. “Now, I know you're probably thinking about bolting or just trouble-causing in general.” 

She opened her mouth to protest and he held out a hand to silence her. “This is a work trip for us, any funny business and all three of us will be in big danger. Please do as I say on the train.” He started down at her trying to make sure she understood. 

“Okay.” She nodded. He and Lemon gave each other a nod before getting out of the toilets. 

______________________________________

Tan got the girl settled in the seat next to him handing her a stupid-looking plushy he snatched on the way in. Lemon took out his phone and handed it to her with a pair of headphones. Thomas the tank engine was on and she shrugged putting the earphones in. 

Then everything went to shit. Thankfully every time he came back to the compartment she was sitting with the headphones in tucked into her seat. 

_______________________________________

You didnt really understand what the men were doing. Or why they were named after fruits. You couldn't even truly understand why you were trusting them. You originally just wanted to make it back to London, not to find the family that abandoned you in Japan, just to be back where you came from. 

Distant thoughts of a great aunt swam in your mind. Maybe she would take you in? You could live in the countryside with her. The thoughts slipped away as you looked back at the phone screen. Another episode of Thomas started and you sighed. This was a baby show and you wanted to watch something more grown up. You tried to use the phone but couldn't find any other movies or shows. 

You looked at the time and realized that they had been gone for a long time. Your stomach dropped. What if they got off the train? Your heart started to race as you realized how much you wanted to stay with them. 

You got out of the seat and moved through the train. It was completely empty so you ran faster. Your eyes started to fill up with tears and you thought it was stupid to get this upset. They wouldn't be the first people to let you down and they probably weren't the last either. 

Men can't be trusted 

The thought brought up a thousand painful memories and you tried to run away from them. Searching everywhere you made it into the last compartment. Tan was there, your eyes locked on to him and everything else became unimportant. 

“TANGERINE.” You shouted then ran at him. He knelt down to catch you. You put your arms around his neck tightly, determined not to let go of him again. 

“It’s alright. Everything is going to be alright.” He patted your back and you relaxed in his arms. As long as he didnt put you down you felt okay about everything. 

__________________________________________________

 Just as she burst into the carriage, the other girl turned to see who was barging in, a diesel sticker stuck to the back of her shoulder. The small girl jumped up into his arms and held on to him tightly. She hid her face in his neck and his protective senses went into overdrive. 

Diesel was here and he had a fucking 5 year old in his arms. He just had to play it cool. 

“It’s alright. Everything is going to be alright.” He murmured to the girl trying to soothe her and reassure himself. 

There was a loud explosion of gunfire and Tan immediately tried to shield the little girl in his arms. So much for soothing. The Prince crumpled to the ground as her brain matter scattered the train car. Lemon lowered his gun and he was overwhelmed with emotion. 

The kid was fine, Lemon was fine. He would make it through this. Lemon came over and put an arm around him and the girl. She reached a hand out to grab onto the collar of his shirt. 

“That’s a sick fucking family reunion.” Ladybug came into the compartment looking agitated. He proceeded to throw up and then round on Lemon about shooting innocent girls. Eventually they all got on the same page and let the rest of the events take place. 

___________________________________________

All in all, by the end of the night, he had adopted a kid, survived a train crash, almost lost his brother, and another hundred traumatic things.  The girl had curled up in his lap and he held on to her while she slept. They had hijacked a tangerine truck and were trying to put as much distance between them and the crash as possible. 

“I was serious about boarding school,” Lemon said while trying to steer and peel a tangerine at the same time. 

“No,” Tan said firmly taking the fruit from him to peel it himself. There were a million reasons not to send her to boarding school. He hated snotty children and he knew they would make it their mission in life to make her miserable. She had no stability in her life, sending her to be raised like cattle in a school was just depressing. Not to mention what if the staff were awful to her? All sorts of terrible things could happen there. 

“Look we can’t just leave her here.” Lemon said finally sounding genuinely upset. 

“Doesnt mean we can’t get our self a spot somewhere nice and send her to school the normal way.” He shoved a slice of Tangerine in to Lemon’s hand. 

“Finally get to go house shopping,” Lemon said excitedly and Tan started to envision what the rest of his life was going to look like. It was void of murder, women, drugs, and chaos. He would probably have to quit smoking too. He frowned, he didnt really have any idea about girls or how to raise them. Most of the girls from his neighborhood either got into drugs, prostitution, or married mobsters. 

He looked down at the little kid in his lap. Her face was red and she was drooling on what was left of his suit. He would just do his best. 

___________________________________________

Lemon picking a house and letting her help decorate it because it’s also her house too. 

Them realizing that kids at her level at school can already read and do some maths. Them panicking and teaching her to read in a month so she’s ready when school starts in September. Her getting there and being ahead of the other kids because they messed up thinking she was a level ahead of her age. She gets to feel super smart for once and then becomes very bookish. 

Tan and Lemon reading parenting books and quizzing eacohter on what to do in various situations and how to be strict. But when she asks for something with puppy dog eyes they cave anyway. 

They always watch TV with her in case they don't like what’s happening on the show. Always trying to make sure she doesn't watch anything violent in case she gets triggered by what happened on the train or her life before.

Both of them sitting there trying not to smoke or die while listening to her struggle to read Harry Potter. After a few pages, Lemon goes “That was great almost done chapter one.” “That was only one chapter?” Tan says and Lemon gives him a look. “How long is this book anyway?” “The first one is the shortest.” “There's more than one?!” 

“Duh, there’s 7” She says happy that there is so much material meaning there will be lots of reading time as a family.

Her actually becoming a Lawyer and putting criminals away rather than carrying on the family business of killing them.

[crispy-bonnie]

yoo,, can i get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Bain, Jacket, and Houston hcs for how they would react to their s/o being generally flirty with them specifically even while on heists ? (maybe their reactions for both before and after they're officially dating their s/o if it's not too much trouble?? tyyy :P)

MY TIME HAS COME-

apologies for the fucking radio silence on writing and shit , i’ve been caught up in other stuff to the point where i forget to write more content LMAO

!! SUGGESTIVE CONTENT UNDER THE CUT . PLEASE BE ADVISED !!

You’re flirtatious — BAIN, JACKET, HOUSTON

Houston

It’d take him a minute to figure out what you were implying, but istg once he does he is a MESS

Houston would be fixing up the van and you’d pass by and say “Nice pants. Can I see what’s in em?”

He would nearly hit his head on the fucking vehicle as he rolls himself out to look at you but you’d be gone lol

Sydney would bring it up too and go “I think you might wanna fix that problem down there mate.”

If you two are dating, he’ll stop what he’s doing and he’ll look for you

Prepare for one hell of a make out session

If you two aren’t dating, he’ll just go back to work and do his damndest not to get distracted by your remarks

If you’re physical with your flirting then oh my god someone please save this man

He would just freeze up and have no clue how to respond, regardless of whether or not you’re dating him

Houston would be just as flustered during heists, loud or stealth.

Dating or not, he’ll try to dismiss your flirting to focus on the heist, but he would ultimately fail

istg this bottom ass mf

If you two are dating, stealth heists would usually end with you having to haul a very flustered Houston back to the van because whoopsies make out session

He does his best to deny that he likes your flirting, but at some point he just gives up lol

Jacket

At first he was very confused like- what the fuck did any of it mean autism moment /j

Eventually Sokol slapped the shit outta him to get him to realize that you were flirting with him

Now whenever you make your remarks, he just goes red as he remembers what it means

He’ll be flustered regardless of whether or not you two are dating

And if you’re physical?

I hope you like cleaning melted Jacket off the floor

If you two are dating, he’ll eventually try to flirt physically as well [if you’re comfortable with it of course]

He’d sneak up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist before nuzzling his face into your neck and leave kisses on it just to make you all flustered 😳

And that’s just one of the things he’ll do

Now if you two aren’t dating, he’ll be a tsundere ass bitch and counter your flirting with empty threats or the middle finger as he attempts to hide his flustered face

During heists, Jacket will try to focus less on the flirting and more on the job at hand, especially if you two are going loud

Whether or not you two are dating, if you chuck a flirty remark at him, he’ll dismiss it and try to get you to focus on what needs to be done

“You’re a pretty hard hitter~ I wonder how hard you’ll be in-”

“Please pay attention.”

Stealth heists are a different story though

He’ll react just as he would if you were flirting with him outside of a heist, and while he does attempt to redirect you to the mission, he doesn’t make a true effort to focus back on it

He’ll especially be flustered if you two are in a cramped or in a blind spot for the guards

If you two are dating…

Good luck.

Bain

This mf

Regardless of whether or not you’re dating him, he’ll 100% flirt back

Usually your flirting would happen during heists since it’s one of the many times that you can actually speak to him

If you two are dating and he allows you to visit him quarters, the flirting would go on for HOURS

It would either end in a steamy make out session or a tickle fight. There is no inbetween and you can’t change my mind

During heists, you would often slip your flirting in when he’s asking you to do or retrieve something

“Guys, the thermal drill, go get it-”

“I’ve got somethin’ you can use your thermal drill on right here hehehe-”

Hoxton in the background just like “GET A ROOM YOU FUCKIN TWATS”

During stealth heists, you two would be flirting with each other non-stop

Like- Bain can’t say anything without you having a good comeback

If you’re alone on the heist, he’ll eventually let himself loose on you, regardless of whether or not you’re dating, and pull the deep rumbly voice card 😳😳

“[H/N], I swear to God, I will personally go down there and tear you apart if you don’t get your ass back on track…unless…that’s what you want me to do~?”

Regardless of whether or not you comply or challenge him, he’ll manage to get you back on task

Mostly because there were guards starting to close in on your hiding spot but still

If you two are dating and you manage to get out of the heist alive,

Expect a visit from Bain sometime soon

[dashawns-world]

Been a little bit since my last post! Sorry this one isn’t going to be a very long one either. I’ve been very busy with my new job and personal work, but I did want to talk about three movies I saw recently! And while I won’t spoil anything major, these thoughts may cloud your judgement going into the films, so I recommend avoiding if you wanna go in with an open mind. Anyway, let’s go:

BARBIE

Barbie was such a fun film! It made me laugh out loud way more than it had any right to. Seriously, there’s a joke Will Ferrel nonchalantly says that I can’t get outta my mind. I had tears in my eyes. Not gonna spoil it but if you know, you know. The themes are quite existential, but in a playful enough way that I didn’t leave it thinking “bummer…” If I had to complain about anything, it’s that Barbie was kinda inactive for the final act. To the point where I was asking myself “what is Barbie doing?” Maybe you’d see what I meant if you watched it. (Or disagree) I still had a good time tho.

It’s worth a watch!

TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM

This is my favorite TMNT movie now, and my favorite personification of the turtles. The art direction, emotional stuff, comedy, action, and characters were all on point. There’s a moment where Leo has a heart to heart with his bros that didn’t feel as earned as it could’ve (on first viewing) I only bring this up because it’s a thought I had as the scene was going on. Where as everything else in the movie felt organic and original, this scene felt like a tried and true motivational speech beat that these types of movies generally have. If that makes sense? I’d have to watch it again to be sure. And thankfully, I’d gladly watch it again because I had such a good time.

Watch itttt!!

THEY CLONED TYRONE

This is a Netflix original and boy was I blown away. I swear, John Boyega is on Leo DiCaprio’s level of changing into a whole new person for his roles. I’m never sure who I’m gonna get. He really killed it. I’m not gonna spoil this movie and honestly if you go in blind it might be better. The directing is really REALLY good, too. There’s a scene that I really loved, where we’re with a character for an extended amount of time in one shot. This is to build tension for a pretty crazy moment afterwards and it was VERY well done. These types of scenes are so cool to me because I’m used to cutting often in animation. But in live action, these scenes are really good for getting inside a character’s head. I really can’t explain without spoiling but if you’ve watched the movie, I thiiiiink you know the scene I’m talking about.

Anyway, the cast, direction, and plot are all top notch. Jamie Foxx is hilarious as always, and Teyonah Parris gets to shine in this film. I loved her character in this compared to Wandavision where her talent was wasted.

I think this movie is perfect for the culture, but if you’re not typically into movies with a majority black cast that deals with African American issues (in a really good way) then you probably won’t be impressed. Your loss, though! I believe that this, alongside movies like The Woman King, The Harder They Fall, and Get Out are examples of movies that have clear parallels to others in their respective genres, but add a twist that I appreciate because of their characters and writing. I used to be stuck with hood movies, but now I get hood mystery movies. I love it, is all I’m saying.

Anyway, I know what the next deep dive is gonna be. I just need to set aside free time to write it up. I’ve been wanting to do a write up about beat em up games. My favorite one, in particular. I want to analyze what I like about it, and what I don’t. Might do more drawing to go alongside it too. Anybody remember Advance Guardian Heroes?? Brace yourselves, lol.

[caribbean-ace]

Alright so it’s been a hot minute since i’ve been here, life truly gets in the way and i feel that i’m going through the motions but finally after the buzz has settled i wanted to reflect a bit on Station 19 season 6.

I think we’re standing at a different place than we were by the end of season 5 and i believe that’s great. We went from that insanity -not in a good way- of season to something much much better. Few changes were made and it showed from the very beginning of season 6. To put it simply it was raw, by far the rawest season in terms of storyline, obviously because of what Maya went through, the repercutions it had on Carina and so on… Mental health was the overall arc for season 6 and honestly? I loved how it played out… Fair to say a LOT of people saw themselves in Carina and Maya which sparked the conversation -the very much needed conversation-

It was a rollercoaster but i’m glad we went through those moments because it lead to a healthier outcome instead of a quick fix it showed a more realistic side of a journey that can’t be taken lightly. On the other hand i wished they would’ve handled the Beckett story a bit better, by the end of it the writers made a good job by Vic checking up on him and just sparkling that conversation. I enjoyed the brief love triangle between Andy/Eli/Travis, it would have been funnier that they explored that angle deeper but i guess it turned out alright.

The expectations were so high when a female chief was announced but it turns out that it was just another love interest for a man, love to see it (please notice the sarcasm). While i don’t mind that Ross had history with Sullivan i kinda hated how her character just became the woman simping for the guy. They tried to redeem her a bit but it wasn’t enough. I would have LOVED that she actually made some changes within SFD to support women and actually make things better. Remember the storyline about fighting sexism? Yeah, me too. Anyways it was terrible that she was shamed for having a consensual relationship with another adult but it makes me grit my teeth the double standards: the whole you’re heroic for basically organizing a mutiny but when someone breaks protocol for saving a life that’s wrong or having a relationship with someone who outranks you but we’re totally ignoring that too, i get it, it’s for the sake of drama but certain things needs to make sense.

All that leads me to Andy being captain, we all saw it coming, there’s no way Maya was going to be captain again -at least not while being on 19- and while it should have been handled a bit better (the woman does have ambitions and putting a pause to pursue her dreams to heal does not mean she needs to abandon it) i think Andy deserved something a bit better, not just: alright you’re captain now. At least her first “shift” as captain was packed with action but still…

And that also brings me to Theo: at first he was like alright, laid back dude, gets the job done but the second he got promoted it’s like it flipped a switch on him especially being such an ass to Vic for absolutely no reason like ??? But at least she left him, i really liked how she pointed out that being happy for her friend does not mean she’s not supporting him (i wonder if that friendship also extends to Maya, after yk, call her a nasty person and do absolutely nothing to stand for her. Yes i will always be bitter about how everyone turned their backs on Maya).

Jack can’t seem to catch a break and God knows what’s gonna happen to him but at least he’s healthier and trying to stay out of other people’s relationships which i’m glad. I loved how Ben and Miranda where kinda there for Maya and Carina (i say kinda because it’s not like Maya had the greatest support out there but Ben did listen so that’s something. Also shout out to Diane, she’s incredible and i love whenever she appears)

Finally -because this is way too long lol- we know where we are standing in terms of Maya and Carina growing their family, for a solid minute i thought well, they are being ambiguous because it’s probably leading to that but no, it wasn’t. I wasn’t mad that they didn’t make Carina pregnant by the end of the season, if anything the scenes where they are discussing how many kids and stuff makes it so much more meaningful because Maya is obviously in such a better head space. Oh and just as a quick comment: Carina should have gone to therapy too, she needed to heal from that rocky period of time and it would have been cool to see her perspective, even if we saw sneak peaks with Vic, Miranda and Diane i believe sitting down and leading to a backstory would have been so much better.

If you got to this point i love you, i wanted to ramble a bit and finally found the moment to sit down and put this together (it’s a bit all over the place, just like my brain but bare with me). Catch you on season 7🤍

[reno2005]

What'd you think of Ashley and Leon's bond throughout 4Remake? Love your dedication to him by the way, shows a great passion for the character :D

Y’know while I don’t think he was ever cold to her like I’ve seen some people say on here, I do like that they were able to put more/better progression into their bond over time.(I feel like in the OG they kinda immediately were very friendly with each other)

Like think of it like this: at the beginning you have Leon just naturally caring about her. He knows she’s scared and he immediately comforts and reassures her, citing that her father trusts him. I wondered if people took his “that went well” comment as a jab at her but I saw it more as a general thing, plus he’s desperate to make sure she’s safe, which also explains him being curt and telling her they can’t rest. At this time he doesn’t really make too many jokes with her either, most likely he probably thought they’d be picked up rather quickly and the job would be done. Remember, he’s kinda closed himself off from others(he doesn’t tell Luis his last name) so at this time he probably doesn’t see much of a point of getting close or opening up to Ashley.

Of course they get stuck and he finds out she’s infected so now he has to deal with that. He doesn’t just now care about her, the stakes have simply risen. Around this point he’s still reassuring her but he’s always throwing in light jokes and comments to ease her fear.(“running away from creeps”, etc) The amount grows as they continue on but I’m sure the points been made by now. My point here I guess is that Ashley kinda helps him open up again, remind him that he’s doing good work and that he can and does help and care about people, even if there are bad moments. He’s not as cold as he thinks he’s become. He’s more so hardened up if anything if I had to find a word.

Also Ashley is clearly strengthened and inspired by the things Leon does and what she does to help him. It goes from small stuff like opening a door to saving him from regeneradors and getting him out of a cage all by herself even at the risk of death. She starts to believe in herself even more too. I think it all eventually really shows when she’s able to fight back against saddler’s control just a bit. Leon is clearly better at it, but after he comforts her when she realizes he’s infected too she never has her mind taken over, just her body and she’s able to resist shooting Leon. So they both kinda help each other I guess.

I feel like I’ve seen this in a few movies before but my brain is bad at recalling some things at the top of my head so I can’t really give any example lol(sorry) but I hope it all kinda makes sense.

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 84 - hair dying session

Oh! Alex knows how to pronounce "ei"! (because of the statement-giver's name, Adrian Weiss)

"A pristine, unopened can of baked beans" - Synchronicities! (Hellier anyone?)

Yeah, don't have much to say about that statement. It again has the theme of toxic love, this time it's not worms. It's hoarding.

Martin sounds like he actually needed a few moments to recover when he was done with the statement…

MARTIN "John, the, uh, Head Archivist is… absent" - That little pause and then the way he says "absent" XD

MARTIN "so I’ll be trying to fill in as best as I can. Um. Maybe Tim as well, if he… if he feels like it." - Same here! Also poor Martin, basically running the Archives on his own right now…

MARTIN "Ah. You’re Miss, er… Richardson?" - Interesting to bring Helen up, given that he actually met her in the Spiral's corridors. We also know, that Martin was actually jealous of her, since she and Jon bonded for that very short time when they met. Hm, interesting, I guess he did now recognize her in the corridors? Maybe this was what made him look up the statement and the recording?

MELANIE "Um, well… I… I flew out and I’ve been, well, that is, before that I was, I was looking at some books. Er, there were history books that were talking… Look, are you sure I can’t just talk to John? You know, Jonathan Sims? He still works here, right?" - Ohhh, not so easy to remain coherent without the presence of the Archivist, is it? Does she subconsciously notice that it was easier to talk to Jon?

Lol, Melanie not getting the pipe XD

MARTIN "Right? But everyone just seems totally convinced he did it. I mean, they think he did something to Sasha too." MELANIE "Jesus. Which one?" - For the audience, this is a super comedic moment. For Melanie, it's going to be very frustrating in about a few seconds…

Elias is watching from his office, sees Melanie with a Slaughter bullet in her leg and probably can't believe his luck! I wonder if he did a little dance?

ELIAS "Ah, you’re not the Melanie King who runs Ghost Hunt UK, surely?" - Elias watching ghost hunting shows on Youtube canon! XD (I know, he most likely used beholding for that, but it's funnier the other way. I actually saw a fanart of this! Him and Peter in bed in the evening, claiming he watches it for research.)

MARTIN "I mean, that doesn’t actually, er, make her qualified." ELIAS [Pointedly] "Formal qualifications aren’t everything, Martin." - Letting Martin know very firmly, that he Knows! And he knows it'll shut him right up. Also Martin clearly not trusting Elias enough to say in front of him, that there is something wrong with this place.

Oh, there's static when Melanie answers Elias whether she wants the job!

God, Martin tries again to save Melanie although Elias has already threatened him!

Ha, I actually remembered the jump scare of Martin hitting something in frustration and turned the volume down when Elias and Melanie left!

Even though Martin is trying to save Melanie to anyone looking from the outside he seems like an asshole who's trying to prevent someone from joining his workplace

[rueitae]

Season 1, Episode 6, The opera in the outback caper

I find Player’s desire to do accents adorable and hilarious at the same time. A fun tidbit for his personality. ‘Cause he’s absolutely willing to do it again later. Bonus points that Carmen teases him for it. (At least I choose to interpret that as teasing)

Player: wow good sign or bad omen? (In an episode in which Carmen gets brainwashed)

Me: stares at camera

Seriously though, the foreshadowing of the dark red arc throughout the series is so well done. It’s so brazen. So much so you don’t see it coming. Crackle’s civilian-ization is, I believe, the first introduction of brainwashing tech. Upon rewatch it's so clear what they’ve done. I bet the writers were cackling to themselves the entire time for this one.

I, for one, am so happy they made Carmen the opera a thing for an episode. Thank you CS for not wasting this niche opportunity. And all the zingers that come with it.

Love how they suspended audience (and Carmen) disbelief for a while by not having Le Chevre show up right away, so Carmen thinks that Gray is running this job. Until she really gets a solid look at him in a different light. I just appreciate how the scene went down. Clever and fun writing to introduce us to the issue.

I also like that Player isn’t taking any crap. He never does. That’s what I like about his character. He’s the only one who can really tell Carmen “how about not” and she’ll think about it. (And 90% of the time she skips off anyway). Though the few times in the series she does take his advice on an emotional decision are very poignant and some of my favorites.

This fight scene above the opera??? The elegance, the silence so we focus on the opera music (as Bellum wants) the timing of the machine hitting the rafters. VERY nice.

VILE NOTE

Player stop hunching over in excitement, your back is gonna hurt by the time you’re 30.

I dunno I like that after all the times they say “VILE”, Player decides to not use the acronym to seemingly try and bring home a point to Carmen to be careful, they could be up to anything.

The glider is really silent wow. Gray doesn’t hear her until she lands. Well done Ivy.

Ultimately she’s heartbroken he doesn’t remember her, but also he’s not trying to kill her so there’s that. In this first season in these moments you can tell she misses the innocent life she had. And she supposedly hasn’t been civhting VILE for long, so that’s a nice character piece there that she’s still mourning a more innocent time that she can never go back to. She knows she can’t and won’t.

8pm. I find it so hilarious for that need to specify because I personally would be like “8…am?”

Me: googles all the deadly creatures and weather in Australia

Me, hides Google doc: it’s…totally not for fic research.

LOL I love the utterly confused civilians during dramatic moments. Sorry Miro

Lab coats! Everyone in a lab coat!!! Thank you CS.

OPERA IS FAR TOO DISTRACTING. Love her character. The backstory she gives to Zack and Ivy and their FACES is delightful

Ivy and Zack are not trained thieves. That’s what makes them so fun to watch while they’re trying to hold her back. Carmen is creative too, but she has fighting experience to fall back on. The sibs don’t.

I wonder if Carmen realizes what’s happening in the split second before she goes under.

Player has the BEST “sus” face. And also rewatching I realize that the writers did give Player a chance to snap Carmen out of it. It doesn’t work. And it wouldn’t have worked for dark red arc.

Carmen really stands there saying “launch the boomerang” for almost a minute and a half lol.

The DINGO alert.

There’s something in me that appreciates that especially in these early episodes it’s always the sibs vs El Topo and Le Chevre. They get to know each other. That’s why the diversion works.

Ivy almost going up with the rocket is a TOP angst trope for me. I still get so excited over it. Not even kidding this is the millionth time I’ve watched the episode and I’m salivating over the near miss.

MIRO he just sits in the car but I’m glad we see his relief.

Okay after the first episode (well second technically) where he’s worried this is the first big protective!Player moment. He really drills into Carmen all the reasons she shouldn’t meet up with Gray again. Like. Gets really serious. These are my FAVORITE moments. And this one in particular I like because Carmen takes his advice here, she changes her mind because of what he says but for an entirely different reason. For Gray’s protection.

Carmen’s a good person. VILE totally miscalculated everything about her.

I love Maelstrom’s office it’s so EXTRA with the fish tank lol. Very clever working the darkness of what Maelstrom is asking into a kids show, with the replacement of “hat” for “head”. Hello Paper Star see you next week.

[blackberrysummerblog]

💫 and 💌 if you please!

Thank you so much for asking!

💫 what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

Gah, I love all comments and feedback! I guess there’s such a thing as critical feedback, but I’ve rarely seen it given publicly to anyone and it’s only happened to me once, I think. I remember being surprised by how little it bothered me—it was from someone who nearly always liked my work and even though they flat-out and in front of the whole fandom said they didn’t like what I’d written in that instance, I just didn’t take it all that personally, lol. I was going to say I don’t know why, but after a few moments of thinking about it, I probably do—the thing they didn’t like was very much what I’d intentionally done, so…that’s how it goes sometimes, I guess.

I think I like it best when someone gets what I was trying to do, i.e. if I was trying to be funny and someone tells me my story made them laugh, I really like hearing that, or if they particularly enjoyed a certain scene, that’s always super gratifying to hear. And sometimes a comment makes me think a little harder about something I wrote. With “Lifted”, @bookish-bogwitch noted that Baz saying he’d been sick in love with Simon “for a long time” meant so much more coming from him at age 38 than it did when he was 18, and yes, I’d meant that, but at the same time I hadn’t really thought about it as closely as I did after getting that comment. And a lot of the fics I wrote for the COC were set in the same post-canon world, all at different points in Simon and Baz’s life together, so I really appreciated that my concept of a long relationship had been seen.

But as much as I adore getting comments, I’m very happy with just a kudo as well! I’m not the greatest at leaving comments myself so I can understand if other people don’t feel up to leaving one. I’m trying to be a little better about leaving comments, but I always feel like I’m doing a superficial job compared to how I actually feel about what I’ve just read. I often feel embarrassed about the quality of my feedback, but I do know that no one is sitting there going, “ugh, her comments are so lame, why did she even bother” 😜 And for sure I never do that with any feedback *I* get—I’m over the moon anytime someone takes a moment to say anything to me at all, so any and all comments are treasured!

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Ha ha, the idea of even posting something again is exciting—it’s been so long! I’m toying with the idea of posting my Crucible marriage fic before it’s completely finished, but I really can’t do that until I figure out where the starting point is going to be, can I? Sigh.

It’s a nice hit of dopamine to post something that you made in your brain and have other people tell you they liked it, isn’t it? I guess I’m hoping that readers will think the story is funny, sweet, maybe a little hot in places, all that good stuff. I’m also hoping I can manage to make the plot interesting enough that it will be worth all the ink it’s not really printed with. Fingers crossed!

Thanks again for the asks, @thewholelemon! I’m going to try to get a bit of writing done tonight, so wish me luck!

[udon-udon]

2022 recap

Let’s see... 2022 was a pretty wild ride, not gonna lie

Shall we start from the beginning? Hmmmm the beginning of 2022..... SheEEEESH. It was my last semester of my final year for my bachelor’s degree in graphic design for marketing (wait, I have a bachelors? LMAOOOO I forget that I have one now holy cow wait a sec). I also remember being very very stressed out about my 3 week practicum I had to do in Feb. Alongside that were a ton of projects like portfolio making, final projects for said portfolio, the grad show etc etc. It was VERY busy and stressful. Luckily, the practicum went on without a hitch, and school projects were done with, and one of the bigger projects was well received so YAY!! And then of course, graduation rolled around in April, and I finally made it!! And then I got hired right after graduation which im still super thankful for cause I got hella lucky, really. 

So work started in around late May/early June and it took a while to get used to things. I’ve never worked full time at an office before so there were many things I had to learn and stuff, but other than that I’m just glad I’m able to deliver the things I’m tasked to do, and they seem like they like me, so :’) Of course I still have my moments where I feel like I’m not cut out for the job or I think I’m doing horribly and for some reason think they’re going to fire me any time soon LOOL...  but anywho... I started a deskmat project (which is still delayed unfortunately, i don’t want to talk about it...) but hoping that can get picked back up sometime soon... I was also rushing on new prints as well for con season so that was pretty wild. 

Summer then came and WHEW. I got covid. Luckily it just felt like a regular cold, so I might have gotten a weaker strain of it. It was quite scary though since I live with family and I was afraid of spreading it to them (of course I ended up doing so cause we share the same bathroom, but they survived) Aside from that, I tabled for the first time in 3 years! AND I DID GREAT! I really missed tabling and honestly it might have been because of the turnout at the events but damn I did better than I’ve ever did, which is crazy. It really makes me want to get better and table more, but it do be pretty exhausting. Anyway, the summer was great imo, but jesus the fall took a nosedive.

September was alright, and for the second time, I didn’t have to worry about going back to school anymore which was kind of surreal again. I was finishing up the art commissions that I paused to work on the anime convention prints. I finished those up so I can focus on the Yuri Game Jam 2022 in Oct-Nov but little did I know.............. I would not be able to make it v n v. I underestimated the time management needed while working a 9-5 job and my lack of discipline... Also cause I didn’t have a clear vision of this year’s game which made me literally go in circles until I had no time left by the time I actually kind of had something down.... I became so stressed over the story that it branched out to other bad thoughts and I just spiraled really hard. Things that I said I would not let bother me had bothered me again and god I hated it so much. Why can’t I just... not think about those things. Hoping to stop those thoughts in 2023 though. So yeah I got really stressed so sadly I had to shelve the project and not release anything for this year’s game jam. I was very disappointed in myself, and it was a very tough decision to break my visual novel streak but I had to do what I had to do. After dropping the project I felt much much much much much better. Hoping to revisit the project again sometime though, now that I decided to release it whenever it’s ready (but will i have the proactiveness to go back to it? that is another story LOL)

So November was over with and December rolled around. December itself was stressful yet okay at the same time? Stressful in terms of spiraling at work again, but I also managed to just chill out and do whatever. And of course, the week-long break from work helped a ton (as I’m writing this thinking back I did absolutely nothing that week but that’s what I wanted most) Hopefully I’ll go back to work rejuvenated again cause I was clearly burnt out from work lmao. I should make use of my vacation days more man. Anyway since it was recent, I vividly remembering spiraling again over subject that shall not be mentioned, and I had no one to ground myself with so I had to try to ground myself somehow which I do try to do more so than rely on others. Luckily I recovered from the spiraling relatively quickly, so maybe it’s an improvement and if I ever encounter that subject again it’ll be an even faster recovery and soon it will be over? That’s what I’m hoping for 2023. Definitely a goal. Please let my 2023 self not let it bother me anymore please please please please (though i think i said that in 2022 no? hahaha) i jsut want to be loved v n v and not feel like my friends are leaving me one by one :’)))))))))))))))))))))))) 

ANYWAY Thank you for reading until the end. Ultimately, I want to worry less about subjects that make me go insane and just be happier. I’m a Bocchi that needs to find a close knit of supportive friends that can make me take another step in life :’)))))) LOOOOL And of course, I would like to draw more. Planning on opening art commissions in the new year some time soon so stay tuned. Hoping to table some more too! Though I don’t have much to sell hahahaha;;; Well then, until next year! 

[survey--s]

536.

What was the last thing you spent more than $20 on? Groceries.

Give us a lyric from a song you’ve recently listend to: "They thought she was fragile like a flower but she was a fragile like a bomb - yeah he set her off”

Do you wear actual designated ‘pajamas’ to bed? No, just a t-shirt and sometimes leggings in winter if it’s really cold. I own pajamas but I find them too hot to actually sleep in.

When was the last time you were tempted to do something you’d later regret? I honestly couldn’t tell you

Have you ever had feelings for someone who was seeing someone else? Yeah, sure.

Have you ever had feelings for your best friend’s significant other? Nope, we’ve never been interested in the same kind of people.

What color is your hairbrush? Black.

How many times did you ride in a car today? Loads, I drive between all my jobs so let’s see - nine lol.

Who was the last non-relative to call you? An unknown number - it only rang for a second then stopped.

Are you comfortable in your own skin? Yes.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Working 7.30am-12.30pm then I’m done for the weekend. I have no plans after getting off from work - probably some housework and then I think Mike is away tomorrow night.

Are you in a good mood right now? Sure - I was so tired yesterday I slept for around 10 hours last night lol.

When was the last time you had an ice cream cone? Last week.

Did you eat breakfast this morning? Yeah, I had a croissant with raspberry jam, a coffee and an orange juice.

Have you ever been in a cemetery at midnight? Yes.

Do you live on your own? No, I live with my husband, our dog and two cats.

How old are your siblings, if you have any? I don’t have any siblings.

Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue? I’ve never tried but probably not. I suspect I’d just choke on it lol.

Have you ever used your cell phone as a lightsource in the dark? Sure, loads of times.

Is your birthday in less than 6 months? Yes.

How old will you be in 3 years? I’ll be 37.

Do you remember who you were dating in August 2007? Yeah, David.

Why did you cry the last time you did? Our cat Layla passed away on my arms a month ago.

Where are your parents right now? I have absolutely no idea, I assume they’re probably at home.

Would you rather be able to fly or breathe under water? Ooh, both lol.

Have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend? I don’t have siblings.

Do you know where your calcaneus bone is located? Yes.

Have you donated blood in the last 2 years? I can’t donate blood for various reasons.

What was the last free t-shirt you received from? Probably my old job. They gave us the odd freebie.

Have you kissed your 10th contact in your phone? I have no idea who that is and I can’t be bothered to check lol.

When did you go to bed last night? About 9pm and I was asleep by 10pm.

Is there anything you are looking forward to at the moment? The weekend - I finish at 12.30 tomorrow then I’m done until Monday morning.

Who was the last person to piss you off? Someone who let her out of control dog run up to Archie and get in his face. I don’t know her name but she never has control of her dog.

Do you like winter? I like winter in countries like Canada where there’s proper snow lol. Winter in the UK is just grey and damp and cold.

Who did you spend last New Year’s with? My husband.

Did you do anything special for St.Patrick’s Day? No. It’s not really a thing here.

Did you have a Valentine last time Valentine’s Day came around? Well, I’m married so technically yes, but we don’t really “do” Valentine’s Day.

What is your relationship with the last person to comment you? She’s a customer.

Who was the last person to sit on your bed? Aside from me, Mike.

Do you have a favorite flower? Sunflowers, white roses, cherry blossoms.

What is the best gift someone can give you? I mean at this point in my life, just money lol.

Was your last kiss a mistake? No.

Would you rather be stuck on a desert island with your ex or a python? My ex lol. At least there’d be another person to help catch food and stuff.

Do you kiss on the first date? If it feels right.

Would you rather visit Norway or BrazilI? Norway. I’ve been already, but I was too young to really appreciate it.

Name three objects within your reach? The dog, the remote control, my phone.

What jewelry are you wearing? I have jewellery in all my piercings and then I’m wearing my wedding and engagement rings on top.

Would you get a shamrock tattooed to your forehead for $5000? No.

What do you smell right now? The candle that’s burning - it’s a scent called “April Showers”.

Are you very flexible? Nope - neither mentally or physically lol.

Where was your display pic taken? At home.

Do you like Chinese food? I love Chinese food as long as it’s not anything spicy.

Where was the last place you went that was more than an hour away? Why were you going there? We went to Grange back in April - it was to do a Walking with Wolves experience which was amazing.

If your best friend asked you to marry them what would you say? We’re already married.

Are you under the influence of anything at the moment? No.

Would you consider yourself open-minded? Yeah, for the most part.

Who was the last person to tell you you looked nice? I can’t remember lol. Susie maybe?

Have you ever been to a nude beach? No, even though there’s one just up the road from us.

What time is it? It’s 15.36.

What are you going to go do now? I might go and sit in the garden in a bit but it’s still absolutely roasting and tomorrow’s meant to be even worse lol.

[garymower]

I didn’t take my adderall today and honestly liked it, I was able to move past an anxious moment or thought without jumping to the next thing leaving the reflection behind. And this way they don’t pile up.

The need for reassurance and validation is much more apparent. I have more empathy when I don’t take the medicine and have more time and patience for things. I am proud of myself for choosing to not take it today. I am not sure where the strength or motivation comes from on days like today. Is it me spending more time with myself? I get excited and feel at peace when I think about doing and taking care of myself. When I want to eat, drink or use something external I recognize I am trying to replace a feeling of discomfort or I’m anxious. I need to slow down and check in but sometimes my mind won’t work or can’t really ask myself where I’m at or what I think because for most of my life I let others do that for me. Looking to them for validation and to tell me if I am correct.

Why do I feel like I am always not doing enough? I want to be always doing something and because doing something right brings me dopamine, worth, that validation and self esteem. How can I focus and be real and make mistakes and learn and be the best all at the same time? I can’t lol. I can do what I can and do my best.

I’ve been doing pretty well in the midst of my circumstances.

I hope I can keep it at bay because right now the best things about it Jake and the things coming up for me about how I’ve been neglectful or mistakes made in our relationship is a lot of emotions and idk. It feels like it clouds what I want or need to do. I know that I need someone I can verbally process with or is that not their job? I know I want to explore me and the world and then anxiety creeps in that I’m 33 and getting older, job isn’t secure yet and who knows what will happen and I have no plans after that, am I even capable of being with one person and being a good partner and be able to fully commit and be able to not feel trapped or stuck or consumed by my trauma and anxiety and allll my disorders and people pleasing, codependency, etc?

When I am flooded and feel like I’m being ripped apart by emotions (when Jake stuff comes up and pulls me in two different directions) I can ask myself if this is something I should look into right now and be gentle and write things down.

AT WORK: zoom out maybe? Since I am so affected by other people’s demeanor, which, why? Sensitive, trauma,

I must remember to write things down. It helps me and then I can work around those things.

On Walker or if someone doesn’t see what I’ve done respond with earnest and don’t need to explain, just say yes and it will get done. Today felt okay, a lot going on and I think I need to talk to friends tomorrow, I didn’t today.

Distraction, nicotine/food/phone, be mindful. That’s all :)

[1d1195]

Here are some of my ideas for check-ins, I’ve actually been on a re-reading journey of your work.

Be My Mistake: I think it would be really awesome to see where they’re at. Maybe catching up with them at the end of the tour or a few months after the tour and how they get on.

Half & Half: I feel like it would very dialogue heavy but it would be about them learning about each other and talking about the time without one another. But it could be done in vignettes where you can give us insight on specific moments of their journey. (I hope that made sense)

My Friend’s Toyota: This is really for me and the one I’m jonesing for the most and I’ve def brought this up before, lol; having Harry x Reader hanging out with the reader’s parents. I think Harry would be in awe of the love the reader got to witness maybe it makes him scared that he can’t live up to it or maybe they’re both scared they can’t. Idk but I think it would an interesting dynamic.

Hopefully there are some useable ideas there. Have a good week! I’m literally sitting at my desk hoping I’m being let go soon. I just want the severance cuz I don’t get any if I quit. The office feels littered with anxious energy. 🙃🙃🙃 I just want the assurance that I never have to come back here again. Like what kind of absolutely bs is this? 😭😭😭

I don’t like that it’s bringing me to this point. But it is what it is. I know I’ll be okay but it’s so exhausting always being one of “God’s Strongest Soldiers”, which I actually wanna talk to him about cuz I don’t remember applying for the job. But life will life, can’t do anything about it.

What a depressing way for me to end this message with. -🐱

Oh god bless you. I've kind of been on my own re-reading journey.

I hadn't thought about Be My Mistake, I did LOVE that one at the time but without Harry on tour not sure I could recreate the magic and angst I felt. But I do like your idea and I will def think about it in the future!

Half & Half sounds VERY similar to how I just did Sunflower and I think you're right, very dialogue heavy more than likely. I like this. I LOVE a soulmate trope and this one I REALLY loved in comparison to all my other attempts if I had could humbly brag 🙈 I will consider this as well!

OOOH that's def the winner. When I do a MFT update it will def be about the parents. I like the angsty component. Def looking forward to it.

Thank you for the ideas you're so sweet and always such a help when I need it! 💕

I'm sorry you're struggling with your work. I can't imagine how frustrating it is to feel anxious like that all the time. I know how you feel about being God's Strongest Soldier. I feel that way a lot too and you're right, you didn't sign up for it. It takes a lot to be strong.

Don't worry about how you ended the message, you know I love to hear about life and you're right, life will life and it's not always good and sunny.

For your sake I hope you get let go soon 💕

xoxo