#I can’t believe I made an odyssey oc man | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sooghostwriter · 5 years ago

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Chef Soo. Three meals a day

Pairings: Do Kyung Soo x OC (Nameless, but I refuse to use Y/N)

Genre: Romance, AU (?), fluff, slow burn (?), crazy story, a tiny tiny bit of angst.

Dinner: Chicken Stew

The sample and the buyer

She was one of those young millionaires. She had just won her first million after opening her startup with her business partner. She always dressed well, not in high heels or two-piece suits, but she owned a Gucci backpack, and his friend Jongin said it was very expensive. She also had a very expensive smartwatch and phone. But those were the only rich person thing she had. She was sweet, down to earth, funny, and very polite. She visited his small restaurant when she got her first big deal and haven't stopped coming there since then. Almost every day of the week. By herself or with her coworkers. She never ordered anything, she only told him "Give me whatever you want, I trust you" The first time she did that, he almost had a breakdown. That was way too much responsibility. It amused him that she kept doing it after becoming a regular client. Kyung Soo never asked her why she did that, he didn't have the guts. After a couple of months of serving her whatever she wanted he began cooking especially for her. He knew she liked spicy food, so he prepared a special batch from that day’s menu and added wasabi to it. He realized he liked her when he began cooking just for her. A single portion, a dish that didn't figure on that day’s menu. Maybe a dish that he wanted to try out, or maybe that day there was an especially big abalone at the market so he would buy it and cook it especially for her. One day he almost got caught. She and another two coworkers came for dinner. They asked for that day’s vegetarian menu, and she only smiled at him. She didn't have to voice her wish anymore. That day he cooked her a portion of homemade ravioli. Then another coworker arrived and asked for her dish. He panicked for a while until he found the perfect excuse "That was the last portion, sorry" That was the only close call. In general, their relationship was very business-like. They spoke on first-name basis though, but nothing more.

---

She was walking down the street with Junmyeon, looking for the best place to celebrate their first big deal with the biggest app developer of the country. They passed by several bars, but they needed more than a beer. She stopped in front of a small entry with a small but elegant sign that said, Chicken Stew. There was a nice sent coming from inside the place and it looked cozy. The thermometer outside was marking some good 2 degrees, so they got inside without thinking too much about it. Inside there was an open kitchen and some tables scattered around the place. The place was really warm, decorated with simple pieces but very assertively. There were some tables free, one of them just in front of the kitchen. She dragged Junmyeon to that table and sat down feeling excited. She wanted to celebrate with her friend and colleague but also enjoy some good food. That night they settled for a bottle of good wine and two portions of Chicken Stew. They had a small but delicious menu available at night but they settled for the Chicken Stew because it was the recommendation of the Chef, Kyung Soo.

--- Chicken Stew was Kyung Soo’s baby. At a young age, he had decided to become a chef. Not only because he wanted to cook, or because he enjoyed following recipes or coming up with his owns. He wanted to be a chef because he liked giving people food. Not only for their compliments. Watching a person sigh in happiness with the first spoon full of food, bringing spoon after spoon to their mouths too quick for their well-being was what filled him with pride. He saw his job as an art, although it could sound a little bit too full of himself it felt like art. But opening his own restaurant was an odyssey. No bank trusted a young chef. Rent was expensive and the price of kitchen supplies was only reasonable if that industrial kitchen was made of gold. It was impossible for him to open his restaurant with his savings and the money his dad could borrow him. He was about to take a job on a cruise, just so he could save money, when a friend gave him an idea. It was a new thing that had arrived in Korea, but it was already well known and popular around the world. Sperm banks. “My sister and her husband bought a sample from them, since they were having issues conceiving” His friend told him “Of course it is super secretive and all, the pay is super good, you should try it” And he did. Taking advantage of his privilege as a man. Because getting a sample wasn’t that hard, he had been getting samples since he was fourteen. The nice nurse gave him paperwork to sign, his check and a number and also made a very nice comment about his appearance and how healthy he was and how popular those kinds of samples were “Your sperm could be useful for you someday, so save this number, is the number of your sample” 1313. What a coincidence, it was the number of the place he wanted to rent, and it was perfect for his restaurant. So that morning after leaving the clinic, he went straight to the real state agency and put the deposit for his soon to be restaurant and then called his friend Jongin offering him a job.

--- Since she was a teenager, she had two dreams. Being her own boss and become a young mom. She always hated having someone telling her what to do, like everybody. And growing up with parents like hers, specifically a mother like hers, she always believed that becoming a mom before turning 30, a young mom, was the way to go. But to do that she had to become the boss first. It happened before she had planned it. She was 27 when she and Junmyeon got their first check for more money she could have ever imagine. As she put her signature on the contract she kept repeating to herself that today was day one of the quests of becoming a mom. When they entered Chicken Stew and she saw the cute chef behind the counter she thought to herself: I bet he could make some cute babies.

--- It was very amusing to her how she never considered a man on this plan of becoming a mother. In a beginning she did. But every boyfriend was a disappointment. A one-night stand could do the job, and yes she could get pregnant, but also she could get a nasty STD. She considered inviting Junmyeon into the project. And she was sure he would help her. But she felt kind of shitty offering him to be a silent partner when she knew how much he craved to have a family in the future. But he gave her an idea that she could only expect from a businessman like him “In-vitro” He said as he was munching his dessert. It was lunchtime and they were seated at the back of 'Chicken Stew'. She had already finished her fettuccini Alfredo that Kyung Soo served her and skipped dessert because she was already full “I don’t know why you haven’t thought about it already, it’s way more expensive than meeting a guy in a bar but safer” “I never planned any of this with a partner actually, if there was one, good, but if there isn’t, good too” “You don’t want to wait a little bit though? Maybe Kyung Soo grows a pair and invites you dinner one of these days” She chuckled bitterly “Bold of you to assume that I don’t see this as a dinner invitation” She gestured to the empty plate “It’s not” “It is! He cooked for me!” Her friend rolled his eyes and patted her hand condescending “Don’t do that, he is going to think we are together!” “No he won’t, I came here with a date the other day” He distracted her for a couple of minutes so he could tell her about this date, but once Jongin came to ask them if they needed something else, Junmyeon came back to the previous discussion “Look, I know that this relationship thing is not your thing, I’ve known you for years, when we were in high school I thought you were a lesbian, then I thought you were asexual until the first year of uni when you got your first boyfriend, that didn’t end up well…my point is that is not often that I see you showing interest in another human being…but also, you can’t stop your life from moving forward just to wait for a significant other” “This is all very cute, but where are you going with this” He cleaned his mouth, organizing his ideas because he was also a bit lost “My point is…I take back what I said before, get pregnant and pursue Kyung Soo, or don’t, just live your life, and if you want to become a mom right now, do it, I will support you” “I really want to be a mom” He saw her sparkling eyes “I know, you have been saying that since we were kids, so go ahead and do it, also, I know I’m your only friend so yes, I will go with you to the doctor if you need me” She thanked him, although she already knew that. When her friend left the restaurant, she stayed there looking on her computer for fertility clinics. There weren’t that many, but they all had a very good reputation. She was about to call one of the clinics when Kyung Soo interrupted her “Your friend already paid, I don’t want to bother you, but I’m about to close to prepare for dinner, but you can stay If you want” She looked around the place and noticed that she was the only one left “I’m so sorry I was so focused looking at…at something here I didn’t notice, I will be going” Kyung Soo put one hand on her shoulder stopping her from standing up, cleaning his other hand in his apron nervously “Don’t worry, you are free to stay, really is nothing, I’m going to be back there working, you can stay” “I don’t need to go to the office and I really enjoy being here, so If I’m not bothering you…I think I will stay” He didn’t answer, only smiled at her and walked back to the kitchen. She kept looking at him from her table. She always did that when she went there for lunch, especially when she was there with a big group, in that way no one would notice it. She liked how focused he was. How organized he was. During these months of eating regularly at the 'Chicken Stew' she was able to visit the kitchen twice, and she was always taken away by how clean it was, even after lunchtime. Kyung Soo was a clean man. She liked that. Also, the food was unparallel. All the flavors merged perfectly. She was sure she had tried every single dish it was there to offer and they were all amazing. Several times she went to fancy restaurants with potential business partners and the food was never as good as Kyung Soo’s food. Kyung Soo was an amazing chef. She liked that. But going to the 'Chicken Stew' was also a great experience in terms of social interaction. One time when the place was packed with people she shared a table with a man who looked a bit under the weather to say the least. His appearance wasn’t the best. One of her co-workers asked him what was going on and he opened to these three strangers “I’m pretty much homeless now, I have been leaving in a net café for two weeks now, and the little money I have I use it to pay for that place, Kyung Soo met me in a very bad situation and brought me here for food, I have been eating here for three days, I have tried to pay and he stopped me from doing so, he gave me this look…you better follow what he says” He finished with a merry laugh. Then she heard several stories like that. A high schooler who went there to eat three days a week ended up being a hard-working kid with really crappy parents. An old couple that went there every Friday were two retired who sometimes had to choose between food or medicine. All of them eating for free thanks to Kyung Soo. He was a remarkable man. She loved that. She kept looking at him as he was chopping tomatoes. There was a peace around him. She barely knew him, but she was sure Kyung Soo was an easy-going guy, trustful, competent and caring. She wanted to know him and see if she was right. She wanted to talk to him. Hear his voice. Ask what his favorite food was. Why did he become a chef? Why Chicken Stew? She had so many questions. And Kyung Soo was right there, probably feeling observed by her. She stood up and walked to the kitchen counter, knocking at the steal surface as if it was a door. He looked up fighting a smile and asked if she needed something. She asked him if they could talk. Kyung Soo felt a rush of something taking over. He knew she was coming, he hoped so after feeling observed by her for so long. He thought she wanted something else to eat, maybe the portion of Crème Brule she didn’t eat at lunch. He wasn’t expecting her to ask him to talk. He wasn’t expecting the questions. The need to know about him. He wasn’t expecting her laughs and interest. He wasn’t expecting how relaxed he felt answering her questions. He wasn’t expecting how easily he asked back. He wasn’t expecting to realize that she was maybe interested in him.

After that Kyung Soo was a little bit more open about his feelings. One time he cooked a chicken and tomatoes stew just for her and when her coworkers asked if they could have the same, he answered with the truth. He cooked that just for her, it was a personal portion. Everybody went silent and when he met her eyes, she was smiling fondly at him. He noticed once that her hair was getting on her way and she complained to her lunch mates about forgetting to bring something to hold it. And it happened often. She always found a way to fix it, a headkerchief or pencil. One day as he went with Jongin to buy something for his niece he found a cute hair tie with a cute chick on it. He bought it, ignoring Jongin when he asked him for who it was. The next day, when he brought her plate, he left the hair tie next to it. Thank god that day she came to eat by herself. He didn’t have the guts to do that with an audience. He walked away quickly and didn’t come back to her table. But a couple of minutes later Jongin came to him with a silly smile, raising a cheeky eyebrow “So the cute chick was for her?...You are so romantic…just so you know, she is wearing it” He lifted his head quickly, and saw her slurping her ramen noodles, with her hair high in a ponytail with the yellow hair tie bright on her head.

--- One Monday she didn’t come for lunch. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday passed and she didn’t come. When Friday came she asked her coworkers what happened to her. They said she was abroad because of work. Two weeks passed. He was missing her. Sighing around the restaurant, feeling weird without cooking that extra dish just for her. Jongin began to worry, bringing him his favorite coffee or taking him out during the weekends. But he was still feeling down. He missed hearing her laugh and the way she would mess with her co-workers. It was way too soon to feel lovesick. But that was exactly how he was feeling. The chick hair tie was next to the cash register waiting for its owner. Then one Friday night she arrived with Junmyeon. He had one arm around her shoulders and she looked like she had just cried. They sat at a table in front of the kitchen counter and in between sobbing she laughed happily to something he said. Kyung Soo felt a whirlpool of emotions. He was so happy to finally see her after so long. But he imagined a friendly comeback. An exchange of polite words and then he would bring her some food. But now he didn’t know what was going on. She was crying but she didn’t look sad. Her friend was beyond happy and laughed at her when she broke into tears again. And when he made eye contact with Kyung Soo, he waved at him, asking him to come closer. He felt insanely awkward standing in front of them, it was impossible to read the atmosphere there “Is everything ok?” He asked unable to hid how worried he was “Kyung Soo, everything is ok, more than ok, we came to celebrate, my friend here” His voice broke with a bit of emotion “My friend here just had a pregnancy test at the bathroom of our office and she is pregnant” She heard her squeal, hiding her face on her hands and then looked up at him. She looked so beautiful. Her face was covered in tears, yes. But she was happy. So happy he could almost see a bright shine surrounding her “You are pregnant?” He asked, not sure why. He was happy to see her so happy, but a dark sadness settled on his stomach. You need two to be pregnant. He didn’t know she had a boyfriend. Or maybe it was Junmyeon’s. “Could you bring us a bottle of champagne to celebrate? Oh, you can’t drink…well, Kyung Soo and I can drink you drink some water” Kyung Soo moved in autopilot to the kitchen and brought a bottle and champagne and one of water and three glasses to their table. Junmyeon opened said bottle and served the drinks. He was as happy as his friend, which made the theory of him being the father even more plausible. He felt like biting his head off. She grabbed her glass, took a deep breath and made a toast “This is for me, my child and his or her father…sample 1313” Kyung Soo dropped his glass to the floor. He felt their stares on him and despite knowing that he had to move he just couldn’t. 1313 was a number he was very conscious about. How much coincidence could be involved in this entire situation? Did she purchase his sample? He was brought back to life by Junmyeon patting his shoulder nervously “I guess our friend is as surprised as us…Kyung Soo are you ok?” “Yeah, yes, yes, I’m ok, Congratulations” His hand was numb, still in the air and his glass in the floor spilling wine on his black shoes. Jongin came quickly to help him clean and thanks to that he came out of his stupor. He was hating himself violently now. He made a fool of himself. There was no way he could explain this behavior. A reaction like out of a soap opera. She said she was pregnant, and he dropped his glass of wine. This was ridiculous “Sis, you said sample? What do you mean?” His beloved Jongin came to the rescue and their focus changed from him to Jongin “Oh, well you see, I really wanted to be a mom, since I’m a little girl, and I want to be a mom now that I have money and a good job and I’m young, but I lost hope in men, no offense, and I don’t have the energy to try right now, so I went to a fertility clinic and I got inseminated” Kyung Soo felt like fading. Cold sweat ran down his neck and back, there was no way this world was so small that the woman he liked got inseminated with his sample. No way. There was absolutely no way. Life couldn’t be this…bizzare. “Sis, and your sample is number 1313? As the number of our restaurant?” She looked at Junmyeon nervously looking for help “That is a huge coincidence right?” He tried to help with something that was believable “It was a good sample” She commented with almost a whisper. This sample talking was making her very uncomfortable, especially with these friends by proxy. Jongin smiled at her and took a long step, reaching for her with his arms, hugging her “I’m very happy for you sis, I hope you have a beautiful and healthy child” She hugged him back because his bear hug was too good not to answer it. Kyung Soo was outraged. Not because his best friend was hugging the woman he liked. He was shocked because now he had to hug her too. It would be awful if he just stood there. And there is no such thing as a congratulatory handshake to someone who announced her pregnancy, which will also disarm him. Jongin let go of her, holding to her hand patting it caringly and turned around sending him a wink. He was going to chop him to pieces later. Kyung Soo dried his hands on his apron and went to hug her. He didn’t know how it looked for the rest, but for him, it was an amazing hug. There were approximately two steps separating them. She took one and he followed. She raised her arms to his shoulders and he went for her waist, circling his arms around her pulling her softly against him. She rested her chin on his shoulder and sighed contently. Her hair tickled his nose, making him smile. He took a deep breath and said what he really wanted to say “I’m very happy for you, you should do want you want, and I’m glad one of your dreams is coming true” He rubbed her back and his head was shouting at him that the hug was long enough, but she wasn’t letting him go. So he didn’t either “Thank you Kyung Soo” She said, patting his back and cuddling deeper in his arms. She opened her eyes and saw Jongin exchanging stares with Junmyeon. They were both holding their laughs and being all giddy, Jongin clapping his hands silently and Junmyeon covering his mouth with both hands. Just then she realized what was she doing. She really didn’t want to let him go. He felt so warm and solid between her arms. He smelled amazing, a mixture of his perfume and the smells of his kitchen. His arms were strong but held her tenderly. His chest vibrated against hers when he spoke, and his words resonated on her ears. His voice sounded different, and the tone of his words was new to her. He sounded happy, yes, but there was a melancholy behind them. She didn’t want to let him go. And when she felt him move she could only tight her embrace. Could she start blaming the pregnancy for this? Pregnant women were…emotional, right? Her friend and Jongin kept sharing silly smiles and her long-time friend began making signals to cut it, mouthing “enough, enough” She jerked, waking up from her dreamy moment and let go of him, sliding her hands down her shoulders and arms. He held to her hands like Jongin did and sputtered “I hope you have a peaceful and healthy pregnancy too” “We can help you with that, right chef? Bring us what the nutritionist recommends and he will cook it for you” Jongin assured sweetly. She thanked him but made sure to take pressure away from him. Kyung Soo didn’t let her finish “I would be glad to help you with that” She smiled delighted, feeling a bit guilty, but not surprised by his words. That was the kind of man he was “Ok, can we eat now? I’m very hungry and we have to celebrate” “Jongin and I were about to close the kitchen, but we have some food left, we will prepare something fast and bring it to you” “Thank you, you two should join us” Jongin was about to answer, thrilled with the idea, but he stopped him by pinching his waist “We need to clean and prepare some things for tomorrow, but thank you for the invitation” He grabbed Jongin’s upper arm and pulled him to the kitchen “Hyung, hyung! What are you doing?” He complained on their way to the kitchen. He pulled him to the cleaning station that was away from the eating area and stood in front of him with his hands on his hips “Do you hate me? Do you want me dead?” “No, no, why are you asking me that?” “Why did you do that?!” Jongin was frowning in confusion, and he knew that he didn’t do anything wrong, he was just a warm person, but he needed to blame someone now and vent a little bit “Why did you hug her?” Jongin’s face changed from confusion to understanding and a mocking grin took over his face “No, is not what you are thinking” Kyung Soo predicted “Since you hugged her I had to hug her too!” “So?” “So?! You know how I feel about her, that was the hardest thing I had to do, hug her and let…and let her go, and then you offered myself to cook for her” “Hyung, I was doing you a favor there, you were considering doing that anyway weren’t you?” Kyung Soo snarled and walked past him into the kitchen. He couldn’t stand another word from Jongin. He was too right. And it annoyed him. The night was cold and he was especially tired that day. Jongin’s steps were longer than his in their way to the flat they shared. He liked it like that, it gave him a bit of privacy. He was feeling like crap. On one side he was thrilled for her pregnancy. Because if she was happy he was too. He was sad she didn’t wait for him. But what saddened and terrified him the most was the possibility that sample 1313 was his sample. He felt guilty for not telling her, but also selfish because why did she need to know, the whole thing of going for the insemination was keeping this between her and her child. No man in between. He was terrified of the future, what if she began bringing her child to the restaurant, what was he going to do? And he couldn’t avoid feeling happy, he wasn't bothered by the idea of having a kid with her. There were way too many emotions swimming around his head and chest, he felt like crying “Kyung Soo, Do you care if she is pregnant?” Jongin asked stopping on his steps, but not turning around “Jongin” He called his friend, almost in tears. Jongin turned around alarmed “What? what is it? Don’t be sad hyung” His friend was pouting, rubbing Kyung Soo’s shoulders. Kyung Soo felt great relief when he could finally share what was hunting him “Jongin, I think that baby is mine” Jongin’s eyes went as big and round as the moon that night. After talking with his friend Kyung Soo went to his bed not bothering with taking a shower. The energy to be a functional human just wasn’t there. He lied in bed for hours thinking about her. About her happy tears and her warm hug. How he didn’t know too much about her but his feelings were still strong. He hadn’t exchanged a lot of words with her, but he has seen her through the eyes of the people around her. Her co-workers would talk about her a lot during lunch when she wasn’t there. Only words of care and admiration. About her tolerance, how open she was to share her time and knowledge, how good she was putting down small fires, but they never saw her raise her voice or being disrespectful. He also knew about her strength. How brave she was. How formidable she was. A woman who is successful before her thirties and just goes for what she wants, like becoming a single mother, for example, is a woman who behaves like no one. She doesn’t care what others can think. He always liked women like that. He never wanted to be a prince. He wanted to be a comrade in arms.

---

With all the commotion from last night, with her telling Kyung Soo and Jongin about her pregnancy, then hugging Kyung Soo for what felt like an hour and still, it wasn’t enough and then celebrating with her friend, she forgot a very important thing. She was only one month pregnant, and she wished to keep this as a secret until the three-month barrier. She went for lunch with almost all her workers and she was afraid that Jongin or Kyung Soo could make a comment, so she dashed to the front of the kitchen and found them mumbling in a corner, Jongin appeared to be comforting Kyung Soo. She called them so she could talk to them. They both looked at her with wide eyes and Jongin was the only one who could compose himself and come to her “Good afternoon! What is it sis?” She bowed at them and spoke in a hurry “You guys are the only ones who know about my pregnancy, could you keep it a secret from everyone please”

“Yes, of course, don’t worry, are you ok?” “Never been better, thank you” Jongin smiled at her warmly “Is he ok?” She whispered as she saw Kyung Soo walk out of the kitchen “Yes, I mean, he is very tired, but just that, you know business owner and suppliers, paying bills…is very hard, but he will manage, thank you for worrying” She was very worried indeed. She didn’t know Kyung Soo was having a hard time. It was stupid of her not to think that it was hard. He just never showed it. He always looked so stoic that someone could easily forget what he was going through. During lunch she tried to talk to him, but he was busy serving. He didn’t meet her eyes either.

She convinced Junmyeon to go to Chicken Stew for dinner “I was planning on going to the gym” “Why? What could you do at the gym? You are already in shape” He rolled his eyes at her and decided to come with her, he never once said no to her. Neither she “You wanna go see Kyung Soo?” “He was so weird today, he looked distressed and didn’t talk to me once, he was avoiding me” “You think you freaked him out with that hug you gave him” No. No, she didn’t. But know that her friend said it, she felt panic crippling up her back “Oh god, I fucked it up, didn’t I?” His friend was quick to calm her down “No, I was just kidding, he was super into the hug, ask Jongin, you both disconnected from this world, come on, you must have felt it” Her nose crinkled, smiling coyly “I did, you think he likes me” “Ok, let’s stop there, what if it is true, he likes you…so, what are you going to do?” “What should I do?” He looked at her frowning “Friking confess you idiot, or better, wait until you are 8 months pregnant and you can go rolling to his restaurant and ask him for a date” She kicked his shin and when he crunched down to rub the place where she hit him, she slapped his head “I’m being serious! Don’t mess with me!” “I’m not! Confess, what’s the worst thing that could happen uh?” “I feel like the stats are not on my side right now, I could wait a bit more” Junmyeon was going to answer back when his phone buzzed. His cheeks went rose with a smile as he picked up. She knew that face. She was about to go for dinner by herself “Is the girl from the other day?” She inquired with her hands on her hips, he nodded his cheeks still glowing “Ok, go, but if this is serious you better introduce her to me quickly, I don’t want jealous girlfriends” He hugged her quickly and walked away telling her to text him when she gets home. She kept walking, with the intention of still going to Chicken Stew, but her plans changed when she arrived at the restaurant. Through the big window, she could see that the place was full. There was a seat available in the counter in front of the kitchen, but something else stopped her from going inside. Kyung Soo. He was very busy attending tables and serving the dishes. She didn’t want to bother him with conversation. And if he was still tired or in a bad mood, she didn’t want to annoy him. But in reality, it wasn’t just about him. She didn’t want to see him ignoring her and being so weirdly cold towards her like that afternoon. It affected her more than she dared to recognize.

She made sure to go with company every time she went for lunch. In that way, she was busy with work talk rather than looking at Kyung Soo. Winding her head with ways to talk to him about more than what was she going to eat or if she wanted coffee or tea. She wanted to ask him how he was doing. She could ask Jongin, they were close enough to do that. But he was busy all the time. It was Friday, and at lunchtime, she asked Jongin what was the menu for dinner “We are not opening at night today, hyung as something to do at the kitchen” It was clear that Jongin didn’t know how to lie. He was too pure for that. But she acted as she believed him. Curiosity was killing her. She wanted to know why he was lying. That day she left work late. She had a ton of codding to do and she hated doing that at home. Especially now that pregnancy was begging to affect her energy. The office was for working and her house was for sleeping. If she was lucky she was going to be able to catch the last bus. She still had an hour left so she walked to the stop slowly, enjoying the autumn wind. When she passed by 'Chicken Stew' she noticed that the lights of the kitchen were on. She looked inside but couldn’t see anyone and the front door was closed. She walked around the building and found the back door slightly ajar. There was a murmur like music coming from the inside and a low voice singing along. The words sounded a bit slurred but the voice was beautiful. It was clear that no one had broke in to steal anything. She opened the door slowly and let herself in. This was her first time in his kitchen and it was incredibly intimidating. She walked slowly, deeper into the kitchen, looking around, her eyes and ears very aware of her surroundings. She called his name once but no one answered. The voice was still singing. She tried again and this time the music went off and so did the beautiful voice. Someone called her name. It was Kyung Soo. She walked around one of the kitchen counters and found him seating in the floor with an empty bottle of wine next to him and a couple of beer cans. His eyes told her something for sure. He was drunk. He called her name again and followed with a smile “You are here” He said entertained “How are you?” “Better than you I think, Kyung Soo…are you ok?” He shook his head and released a long breath “I’m not ok, I’m not ok at all” She kneeled down next to him, not sure of what to do or say, but at least she could give him some company in his drunkness “Are you having problmes?” “Yes, a huge one” “Can I help you with it?” He shook his head again, looking at his hands “Is there anything I can do to help you? She insisted and waited a bit for his answer. He went silent, but his breathing and the way his shoulders moved told her that he was crying. She didn’t want to intrude so she just waited for him “There is something you can do…please don’t hate me” “Why would I hate you?” Her hand reached for his shoulder rubbing it “Because I’m…I just…I feel horrible, I shouldn’t tell you but at the same time, I can’t keep quiet, no when I imagine a future with you every night before I go to sleep, no when I can only imagine all the things that I want to cook for you and only for you” He was whimpering, cleaning his tears with clumsy hands. She didn’t know what to say, she was frozen in the spot. She couldn’t believe her ears. He was confesing. Drunk and between tears “Kyung Soo, why are you like this? What is this thing you want to tell me?” “You are pregnant, and you decided to get inseminated for a reason…and I understand, I really do, we are useless, women don’t need us to raise their kids, and if you were another woman I would just keep quite, but I like you and I want to be with you but…I can’t be with you with this secret, this lie hunting me” There was no logical answer in her head to what was going on right now. Her brain was split between trying to understand what had him so sad, process the fact that he said he liked her and what was this secret “Before you say anything let’s sober up a little bit ok? I don’t care what you have to say to me, if you say it drunk you are going to regret it and it could be harder for me to understand, stand up and let me give you some water and a cup of coffee” She tried to lift him holding his arm but he pulled away from her “I’m so sorry, forgive me please” “Kyung Soo, please come with me and sober up so we can talk ok?” “Your baby” He began and a part of her reacted like a lion feeling attacked. Why was he talking about her baby? “Your child, you wanted to do this by yourself, you went to a clinic and you bought a sample, but this damn fucking world is so small…you had to go and buy from the bank where I sold my sperm right? 1313…why did you have to choose that sample? Tell me, why did you?” “I just liked the description of the donor and…it’s the number of your restaurant” He cursed under his breath, chuckling humorlessly “Yes, it is, the sample 1313 was mine” “Kyung Soo…” “I checked, I thought it could be a huge coincidence, but is not, I’m sample 1313, I’m so sorry” She stood up. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. This was too messed up. Kyung Soo hid his face on his hands, still sobbing. She didn’t have anything to do there. There was nothing they could do or say now. He was too drunk, and she was too shocked. She walked away, feeling horribly bad to leave him there like that, but she was incapable of doing anything, for him or for her. On her way out she ran into Jongin. They didn’t exchange a word, it wasn’t necessary. He got it immediately. She was thankful that Kyung Soo wasn’t going to be alone.

---

Only a few times before Kyung Soo felt so helpless. This was probably the third time he got this drunk. First time when he broke up with his first girlfriend, the second time when his restaurant almost goes bankrupt and now this. The worst thing was that drunkenness never took his memories away. So he remembered everything that happened that night at his kitchen. Her worry, his bitter tears, every word he said, her face of horror and the sound of her heels walking away. He felt his chest torn apart when she left. Jongin came to his rescue, but what else could he do. There weren’t enough words of support, who could know how to act in this situation when it was such a bizarre one?

As he suspected, the next week she didn’t come to the restaurant. He waited for her at lunch and dinner but she didn’t appear. He wasn’t planning on going out of the kitchen if she actually went there, but just knowing that she was eating was enough. Only her coworkers came. Junmyeon didn’t appear either. Jongin asked what happened to their coworkers and they told him he was very busy and their other boss was sick. That was the worst answer they could give him. Was she really sick? If so, how sick? Was the pregnancy? Or what he told her stressed her and was now affecting her pregnancy? The worry kept getting into his nerves to the point that he had to throw away a whole pot of pure because he used sugar instead of salt.

After a week of anguish, Junmyeon appeared at lunchtime. He was about to close and there was only one portion left, hers. He greeted him warmly and sat at the kitchen counter “Sorry for coming too late” He told him, but he wasn’t only talking about the closing time “Don’t worry, I have a portion of Chicken Stew for you” “Perfect” Junmyeon waited for his plate and noticed Kyung Soo moving around nervously. He knew what happened that night in the kitchen. She called him first thing in the morning to tell him. It was a situation he couldn’t quite understand. But he did understand how weird and complicated it was. He wasn’t a cruel man. He wasn’t going to wait for his question, he knew how hard could be for him to ask “She has a lot of morning sickness everything she eats gives her nausea so I told her to stay at home” Kyung Soo left his plate on front of him and rested his hands on the counter, letting his head fall. He looked tired, but his shoulders looked relaxed, just a tiny bit. He turned around without saying a word and began washing rice and asked Jongin to peel some veggies. He was cooking for her. Junmyeon felt relieved all of a sudden. He wasn’t sure why he just thought about what a great man he was. Before he was done with his lunch, Kyung Soo had already packed a big portion of rice porridge and steamed vegetables “Could you send her this?” “Sure, I’m going to visit her today, but can we talk?” Kyung Soo sat in front of him, he already knew what he wanted to talk about. He knew Junmyeon was to her what Jongin was for him. He probably knew everything “She told me about the sample thing” “It’s that why she isn't coming?” “Part of it” He decided to be honest with him. He knew his friend and he needed some help “I can’t believe I told her that during those circumstances” “There are things you can’t say sober” He smiled, trying to make him feel better, and Kyung Soo smiled back, but it was clear he was just being polite “How is she?” “Very confused as you must be” “Is she coming back? Is she going to come here again to have lunch?” If his friend didn’t marry Kyung Soo someday, he was willing to do so. He deserved everything anyone could give him “Of course, yes, just give her some time, you use this time too so you can both decide what to do” “Yes, ok…just, could you tell her…I don’t know what I want to tell her” “Don’t say anything, I will give her the food and then when you are both ready you can talk” He didn’t know where all this maturity came from, but he could see Kyung Soo was feeling better, and maybe latter his friend would feel better too “Yes, that’s the best thing to do, thank you” “Don’t worry, and Kyung Soo, this doesn’t have to be too complicated ok? It wasn’t even an accident, it was just destiny” He felt unbelievable thankful for Junmyeon’s words. The least he could do was giving him that meal for free.

---

The next week she didn’t appear either. But this time Junmyeon made sure to tell him that she was better, but the doctor recommended full rest for some signs of miscarriage. Kyung Soo panicked. Jongin held his arm just in case “She is fine, don’t worry, the doctor said it was common, she would be able to come to work next week, please don’t worry, are you ok?” Kyung Soo sat down next to him rubbing his legs and fumbling with his fingers “That caught me unprepared” “I’m being honest Kyung Soo, she is fine now and the baby too, she is just being extra careful” “It’s just…I realized something just now” “Great, that’s good, what did you realize?” He looked at him and Junmyeon knew that this was the line he couldn’t cross. This wasn’t his business anymore. He took back is question. Kyung Soo wasn’t able to sleep well that Sunday. He knew on Monday she will be back at work and back at his restaurant. This was one of those situations where he really wanted to see her but was terrified to do it. He informed Jongin that he wasn’t going to open the restaurant for dinner time. He gave him his silent support and went back to work. The rush hour at lunchtime passed and she didn’t appear. Neither her coworkers so maybe there was something going on at the office. 30 minutes before closing time, they appeared. Junmyeon, the other coworkers and at the tail of the group, her. Jongin helped them put together two tables so they could all sit together and as he did so she walked to the kitchen counter rubbing her hands together and bowing at him. He looked over her shoulder and saw Junmyeon and Jongin standing together looking at them as if they were watching a suspense movie “How are you feeling?” He asked “I’m better now, Junmyeon told me you are aware of what was happening to me, were you worried?” Her voice was soft, filled with uncertainty as if she didn’t know how to talk to him “I was so worried…could we…could we met today so we can talk?” “Yes, sure, of course, I…when? Where?” “Come here when you are done with your work…could you?” “Yes, of course, I will be here around seven” Kyung Soo felt happy for the first time in weeks. Of course, he was still terrified but he could tell she wasn’t mad at him or distant. Her coworkers called her, so she bowed at him and went to heir table. They didn’t talk again after that.

She was punctual, she counted the seconds until it was time to meet him. She didn’t know what would come out from this. She was sure of what she wanted though. A solution for all this. Kyung Soo was waiting for her in front of the restaurant. This was the first time she saw him wearing street clothes. As expected, it was very simple. Dark jeans and a sweater. Stylish sneakers and his signature glasses. He looked very handsome. They greeted politely and Kyung Soo invited her to a coffee a couple of blocks down the streets. He made sure she was comfortable with walking “Is not as terrible as Junmyeon told you” She tried to give him some peace “I had some pain and a bit of bleeding, I went to the doctor immediately and they gave me medicine and whatnots, I spend two days in the hospital just so the baby could be safe and then at was back at home, is very common” “You must have been very scared” How could he know? She made sure to speak nonchalantly, trying to hide how badly that memory made her feel. She was very scared indeed, she was terrified of losing her child “Yes, I was, but I’m ok now, don’t worry” They walked in silence to the coffee shop and Kyung Soo guided her to a private booth. He thought the couch was better to seat down that a wood chair and it was way warmer there. They asked for two cups of tea nothing to eat, she was afraid food could give her nausea and ruin this moment. The cups arrived and the silence was about to swallow them both. Kyung Soo decided to act like an adult, speak with the truth and be honest, especially to himself “I’m so sorry for what happened” “For what are you apologizing? the sample mishap or the drunkenness” She ended with a smile, an honest smile from ear to ear. He giggled and rubbed his neck still embarrassed but not scared anymore “Because let me tell you, you shouldn’t apologize for neither of them” “I shouldn’t have said that drunk, it was so disrespectful” “Thanks to that bottle of wine you opened up to me sooner” She wasn’t wrong “And I prefer it like that…about the sample, it was a coincidence” “Would you have preferred for me to shut up about it” “No, no, I would have hated that, you were right, if we think about a future together, there can’t be a secret like that between us…I don’t think you would have been able to live peacefully holding that to yourself” Kyung Soo felt something like a wrecking ball hitting his stomach “You think about that future too?” She didn’t notice she was recognizing her feelings, she should have prepared for this talk in advance “I do…I like you too, I like you a lot…but the future that worries me right now is the one I’m going to live in 7 months” “I understand that” “Is not that you are not a priority or less important, but…our circumstances right now are complicated” Kyung Soo lowered his stare, looking at his hands organizing what he wanted to say. He wanted to be very clear “I like you too, you already know that, but there are two things between us, the love we feel for each other, and your child and I don’t want to say our child because that would be incredibly rude, I was never part of this equation, as you said, it was a mishap, but that doesn’t take the fact that…I can’t even say it because is not my place, but I want you to know that I would follow whatever decision you make because I’m ready for all the possibilities” “If I tell you that I want you to be the father and take your place in this equation, would you do it?” “Yes” They weight of his answer felt heavy on her chest “I had my doubts before, but when Junmyeon told me about the miscarriage symptoms…I feared for your child” He was still refusing to use the word our. She took her time before saying something. She believed him, but it felt rushed. She wasn’t yet clear with her desition and she was the mother. Kyung Soo couldn't be clearer either. It was so unfair for him. Of course, he would take his place of a father because he was the best human out there, but she always felt like motherhood was natural and fatherhood was a bit of an imposition. It sounded messed up, but that’s how she felt growing up “I don’t want you to make that decision just yet…this is not the optimal circumstance, you just needed the money, I wanted a child, we are in extreme opposites, so I don’t want you to feel forced to do this just because is what your values dictate to you” He made the intent to interrupted her but she stopped him “And I know that you could be driven by your feelings, but is still too soon, we are not even dating” He swallowed thickly. Deep down he felt like this wasn’t going the way he hoped for “As for us…I don’t think is fair for you to date me now” “why would you say that?” She chuckled bitterly “Because I’m pregnant Kyung Soo, the me you will encounter now is different, my mood is going to be weird as hell, my body will change, and I’m not going to be able to give you all my attention” He called her name sweetly “I’m not a child that wants your constant attention” “We don't know that” She joked and they finally laughed together, after a long time of tension “But I understand you…I said this before, it’s your decision “ “If we don’t date, would you still be there, I feel selfish asking you to wait for me…but would you wait for me?” “I was going to do it even if you didn’t ask for it” She felt all shy and giddy, he was so sweet and so good with his words. She felt like lying on the floor and rolling around “How much do you want me involved?” He asked with a tiny bit of confidence “As much as you feel comfortable” “That’s a very open answer” “Is the one I can give you now” Kyung Soo reached across the table and held her hand “Let’s not take more decision for now and let’s see with time, maybe you don’t want me at all or maybe you want my constant company” “Kyung Soo, that’s unfair” She felt like she was using him “It’s not, I’m comfortable like that too, I don’t want to force myself into you…but I have confidence that we will make it through” He squeezed her hand and she put her other hand on top of his “I hope you don’t think I’m not sure about my feeling for you, because I am, especially now, I just think…” “You are being careful, I can understand that…I’m just glad you are not pushing me away” “I’m glad too” The tea went cold as they kept holding hands, talking and trying to reassure each other feelings. She wanted to stay there longer, but he insisted that it was too late, and she needed to go home and rest. She didn’t resist, she liked how he cared for her. The third month passed by and her doctor told her that she was risk-free now. The symptoms weren’t as terrible as before. The nausea went away. But her digestive system was a mess. She never commented this to Kyung Soo, but it was clear that he had made some research because now he was cooking exclusively for her and the menu was fourth month of pregnancy friendly. Her constipation was almost under control and heartburn was a story from the past. One day she thanked him for it and his only answer was “I know how to take care of you” She played his words over her head for the rest of the week. It wasn’t as horrible as she thought it would be. Junmyeon’s new girlfriend was a gift from heaven. She took her out to buy new underwear since her boobs refused to settle in her old bras and would call her asking if she needed girl help wish was code for, help with anything that could make Junmyeon uncomfortable. She thanked every day for the teacher that sat them together in middle school which was the spark that developed their friendship. He was the brother she never had and the support she needed these days. She was so glad that his girlfriend understood their dynamics. Kyung Soo had nothing to envy from her childhood friend. They met during lunch and dinner, and he always took the time to talk to her and he never treated her like a sick person. Not like some of her coworkers. He just wanted to know if she needed something, what the doctor said and how she was feeling. She felt very tired all the time, and there were mornings that she just couldn’t get up. The changes in her blood flow made her feel dizzy most mornings. During those days she would work from home and every time at lunchtime a deliver guy will bring her food. A taste of the food told her that it was Kyung Soo’s. It began with him sending him lunch to her house whenever she didn’t go to work. But then, lunch began arriving at her office. She let it happen twice until she had a talk with him “Why did you do that?” He was chopping carrots as they were talking at the kitchen “Doctor said you shouldn't walk too much” “That's true, but is like a five-minute walk from my office to here and I use the elevator, I think stairs are my real enemies” “There are stairs over there” he pointed at the street were in fact she had to walk down three steps. She rolled her eyes following him around the kitchen “If I can make your life easier…” “And I'm thankful, but maybe... I want to come here to see you” He came to a sudden halt and she collided with him. He grabbed her by her arms just in case “Oh... You do?” “Yeah” He looked down at his hands holding her and let her go. She liked how he touched her and helped her out of reflex “Ok, sorry” “Don't apologize, I really really appreciate it, but for now is not really necessary, maybe when I go with maternity leave” He held his hand up, waiting for a handshake “Deal, but at least can I invite you lunch?” “No way Kyung Soo” “Come on!” She rested her hands on her hips and Kyung Soo could already recognize that as a sign that there was no place for debate “I can pay for my food, I would rather you invite that plate of food to someone who really needs it, like you have been doing so far” His eyebrows showed his surprise “How do you know about that?” “It was a secret?” “No, but it isn’t common knowledge either” “I spoke with several people who have been eating here for free, is one of the reasons I like you” Since that serious talk at the coffee shop, they never addressed their feeling again. It was both embarrassing and a bit unnecessary for now. Her confession there was a slip of the tongue. She didn’t regret it though. She knew her confession could make him happy. His bright smile told her so “I wanted to own my business so I could do that” He confessed, walking away from her, a bit shy. She followed him again, eager to know more about it. That afternoon she stayed with him as he prepared something for tomorrow's lunch. That afternoon he confessed that he has been cooking especially for her since they met. She wanted to stand up and kiss him, but she got dizzy again.

---

It was killing her not knowing if she was having a boy or a girl. It didn’t dictate what things she bought in terms of clothing or toys, but she wanted to imagine her child. Start dreaming about the exciting future with her or him. Her next visit to the doctor would be the one that would tell her. She was finally in her 5th month. Her tummy was bigger now, her pants were already a bit uncomfortable so she began using dresses and skirts. She began feeling little butterflies in her stomach, in a beginning she thought it was because of Kyung Soo, but she read somewhere that it was the baby moving. The symptoms weren’t too terrible, the dizziness was the only thing left. And she finally had big girl boobs. Her new bras were no good anymore. Yes, they hurt a bit, but she had a cleavage now. She took the day off that day. More like Junmyeon forbid her from going to work so she could have a calm day and then they could celebrate if he was going to have a niece or nephew.

--- Kyung Soo woke up from a horrible nightmare with his heart in his throat. In the dream, he saw her and her child inside a glass case. He could see them but they didn’t see him. She was holding her child, but she didn’t look happy. She looked distressed and tired. The baby was sleeping but suddenly jolted in her arms and began crying. She did her best to stop her child from crying, but nothing happened. The baby was turning red and the sound was louder and louder. He wanted to help them. He felt that he could calm the baby. He wanted to take her child in his arms just so she could rest for a little bit, but he couldn’t touch them. He began banging the glass, looking for an opening but the more he hit, the thicker became the glass. He woke up with the sound of his alarm. He couldn’t stop thinking about the dream for the rest of the morning. He was outside his restaurant talking with the guys who brought him the vegetables for the week when Junmyeon walked to him, just to say hi, he was on his way to their office. He immediately asked for her, no shame “I told her not to come to work today, she as a doctor appointment at 10:00” That was in two hours “Ok, then I should send it to her house” “Don’t worry, she normally eats out when she has a checkup…oh! She is very excited because today she will know if it is a girl or a boy” He told him as he walked away in a hurry. Kyung Soo felt for the first time like he needed to be there. He wanted to be there. Of course, it had to do with the nightmare he had that night, but if the dream was a premonitory one, it was clear the glass walls represented himself. He was the one building them and staying away when in reality he wanted to be there. He wanted to know if they were having a girl or a boy. That was the first time he allowed himself to think about an us. He kept repeating to himself that If she needed him, he would go to her. He didn’t even have her personal number, just her secretary’s. Jongin hated that “Hyung, that’s so stupid, I have your number and we are not in love nor I’m expecting your baby, but we are friends, that’s why I have your number saved” He knew his friend was right, but the more he controlled himself, the more comfortable he felt. So he didn’t ask for her number. And she didn’t give it to him. In fact, he got the number of her office from a business card she gave him when she went to Chicken Stew for the first time. But now he wanted to talk to her, he wanted to go to her. He needed to do so. But his stupid self-control was too strong, so he went inside the kitchen ready to start cooking for that day's lunch. Jongin arrived a couple of minutes later merry as always “I met with sis at the subway, she was on her way to the doctor, hyung! Did you know? Today they are going to tell her the sex of the baby, she looked so happy! Although I was wondering, is it safe for her to use the subway?” He was too focused on Jongin’s words to notice that his hand was too close to the skillet, the burn in the palm of his hand woke him up from his long-time delusion that he didn’t need to be there. Instead of applying cold to his hand he took off his apron and began giving instructions to a very confused Jongin “Put everything in the freezer, make sure everything is off and close the restaurant for the day” “Where are you going?” “To see her” he shouted over his shoulder as he walked out the back door. He reached the main street and panicked for a second. What to do now? He had no idea where her doctor was, what her number was. He knew where she lived but it was too late. Her office. Junmyeon could help him. This wasn’t his first time there, so he walked inside Junmyeon’s office quickly, not caring about manners. He didn’t even greet him “I need her number?” “Fucking finally” Junmyeon chuckled a bit exasperated, scribbling the 9 numbers he knew by memory. He gave him the piece of paper and said nothing else, only wished him good luck. On his way out he called her, feeling his heartbeat on his throat. She picked up, her voice doubtful and when he identified himself, she went silent. So he didn’t lose more time. He asked her where she was, she said she was at the bank. She also told him what he already knew. She didn’t comment about what was going to happen in that appointment, but he could hear the excitement in her voice “Can I go with you?” He asked, making sure his voice sounded sure and decided. She didn’t answer immediately which took away some of the confidence he was trying to develop “Are you sure? You don't need to do this” “I do, I need to, May I go?” She chuckled in disbelief “I will love it” Kyung Soo released the breath he was holding, and almost felt like his knees would give up. She wanted him there “I will meet you at the hospital ok?” He stopped a taxi and told the driver the address she had just gave him over the phone.

She sat at the waiting room close to the entrance so Kyung Soo could spot her easily. It wasn’t too crowded, but it helped her with her anxiety. Ten minutes after she arrived, Kyung Soo appeared at the entrance, looking at his phone. He was probably going to call her so she called him instead. He lifted his head confused and when he saw her his smile gave her so much happiness and made her felt so relieved that she had to stand up and met him halfway “Why did you get up? Come here” He locked arms with her and walked her to a line of seats that was empty. She was terrified of uncomfortable silence so she made sure to act normal, as normal as this whole situation can be “How did you get my number?” “I went to your office, and your friend gave it to me” He answered avoiding her eyes looking around with curiosity. She had so many questions. Why the sudden change? Why that day and not yesterday or tomorrow? She was afraid of asking and when she did, her voice was low and shaky “Why are you here Kyung Soo?” He finally looked at her, he was as nervous as she was, but in his eyes, she could see determination “I came because I want to tell you that I want to be here” He grabbed her hand softly, something he hadn’t done since that day they confessed, and they both craved madly “I need to be here, May I accompany you from now on, I know you can and will do all this by yourself, but I can’t” His voice loose strength by the end of the sentence, she didn’t want him to lose confidence or braveness regarding them, so she lain closer to him and kiss him on his cheek, and held there for a while giving him some warmth, clasping his hand harder. She heard him hold his breath for a second and then relax into her. She moved apart a couple of centimeters and whispered a thank you. She had a lot more to say, but this wasn’t the moment. The waiting room of a hospital wasn’t the place either. He looked bemused, but a smile was pulling the corner of his lips “That means I can stay right?” “I really want you to stay” “Great…um…when is your appointment” She looked at her watch, not letting go of his hand “In 30 minutes” “We arrived quite early…are you nervous?” She only nodded, her stare lost ahead. This was something she couldn’t get use to. The fear before every doctor's appointment. She always feared that her doctor would tell her something terrible about her baby. But in the past, her fear showed through locking herself in the bathroom with nausea or dizziness, breathing in and out just to try to calm herself down. She always went by herself. She began this by herself and was planning on finishing it like that. She never complained about the tiny panic attack she got before every appointment. And obviously she didn’t even dare to imagine Kyung Soo giving her company during those times. She should have suspected that his presence would bring some peace. She was still scared, but not terrified. His hand holding hers was warm, soft and it kept her distracted from whatever fear was dancing around her head. Maybe if she was closer he could take away all of the fears. So she moved closer to him resting her head on his shoulder. She thought it could catch him by surprise but on the contrary, he arranged his body so she could rest her head comfortably “Kyung Soo, Why did you call it Chicken Stew?” She needed a distraction for the next thirty minutes, and Kyung Soo was always a great one “Several reasons, it was the first dish I learned how to cook, it’s also my brother’s favorite, all my friends say it’s my best dish and is a dish that is always delicious” “Like your restaurant” “I hope that's the case” She lifted her head, resting her chin on his shoulder “It is, your food is amazing” He thanked her, scratching the back of his ear nervously “You think the baby will be a chef?” Since he was here, wishing to be part of this, they could start thinking about their kid “I doubt it, I don't think babies can cook, but in the future, who knows” That was what she needed, an explosive laugh, an almost howl that made breathing hard for her, harder than normally “You liked that one?” He asked giggling through his nose “That was so funny, I imagined a baby with your cool apron and a knife” She had to cover her mouth not to bother the other people in the waiting room “My apron is cool?” Not cool, sexy, she thought but kept it to herself.

Her doctor congratulated her on her healthy gain weight and for the good numbers on her exams. She asked all the questions related to her symptoms and then invited her to lay in the bed so they could use the ultrasound “Doctor, before we start, can I go and call my…friend that’s waiting outside” She gave her a signal to go ahead and she opened the door nervously. She asked Kyung Soo to wait for her until she would call him. The conversations between her and her doctor were always way too graphic and she didn’t want Kyung Soo to hear them. But the ultrasound part was different. She wanted him there. He was standing with his hands on his pockets, some tension in his shoulders that could easily translate as nervousness. She called his name softly and he turned around, and with quick steps got inside the doctor's office. He greeted the doctor extremely politely and she invited him to sit next to her. As the doctor prepared her things, she reached for Kyung Soo wrist but he held her hand instead “Are you nervous?” He asked her again, but she was sure he was the only one nervous here. And with good reason, this was going to be the first time seeing their child. She said she was nervous, and asked him back “I think I’m going to fade, I’m so nervous” They laughed together and for the first time she felt completely relaxed at the doctor’s office. “Is he your partner?” The doctor asked as she poured the cold gel in her tummy “No, but he is the father of the baby” The doctor turned to Kyung Soo with a bright smile “Oh, then congratulations father of the baby... Although I thought this was an insemination... “ She stopped her so she wouldn’t ruin the moment “It's a long story” From now on that was the sentence he would use whenever someone asked what was her relationship with Kyung Soo “And we don't have a lot of time, I’m glad he is here, let's get to business” The doctor commented and held the probe against her skin. They both held their breaths until the doctor could get a clear image of the baby “So, we always say, it’s a boy if we see turtle and a girl if we see three lines, and in this case” She elongated the last sound as the image of their baby became clearer “We got three lines, you are having a girl” She began pressing buttons on the machine. And gave them some time to take it in. She looked at Kyung Soo but he didn’t meet her eyes. His eyes were stuck on the screen in front of him as the image of their baby kept moving on the screen. Now the image was clearer, head, hands, legs and arms, you could almost see her profile. She saw herself on him, in awe with what was happening. She was sure that for him now everything was clearer. It was like that for her. The moment she saw her baby for the first time was the moment she realized that she had made the right choice. He was probably feeling the same “Her size is right, organs on point, amniotic fluid and placenta are great, that’s all we have for now, a very healthy girl, is that what you were hoping for?” She always said that she would be happy with either, but deep down, or maybe not that deep, she hoped for a girl “Yes, actually, I wanted a girl” “Great! then what about the father, are you happy?” Kyung Soo had his eyes still stuck on the screen and when he spoke, his voice was soft and a bit shaky “She is perfect, our…our daughter is perfect” The doctor chuckled and looked at both of them with care “They all say that, and guess what? They are right” Eventually the doctor had to turn off the ultrasound, not without showing Kyung Soo what they were seeing, what was every shade and shape. When they were back to her desk, he was in a state of elation, to say the least “So, everything is great, let's keep some precautions, no stairs or excessive exercise, the baby is great, but this is the first one and inseminations require extra care, keep having your calcium supplements and no sex for at least one more month Ok?” She gasped and looked around awkwardly, Kyung Soo reacted very similarly. She could imagine how funny was for the doctor to watch this insufferable awkward couple “Oh, so is not that kind of friendship, Ok, let's all move along, any questions?” They were both questionless, so they left the room quickly to avoid any more awkwardness. They were on the second floor, just one set of stairs. She was walking towards them, but Kyung Soo stopped her holding her waist, or what was left of it and turned around to the elevator. She was going to complain, it was only one set of stairs, but she preferred to enjoy being taking care of. In fact, the day was going great, having him there was amazing, better than she could have ever imagined, and going out of the hospital to part ways brought her down quite a bit “You need to go back to the restaurant?” She was determination itself, she was going to keep enjoying the rest of the day with him. She was sure the feeling in her tummy wasn’t her baby moving around her womb “No, I'm not opening today” “You wanna go for a walk?” Asking him didn’t feel as hard as she would imagine “I have a better idea, let's go on a date” Kyung Soo was trying to act cool, but she could see a slight twitch on his lips. He could be nervous or embarrassed. And she felt exactly the same. A hot rush went up her neck and settled in her cheeks. As before, she was sure it wasn’t the pregnancy. She tried to cover her cheeks with her hands, just adding more to the situation “How cute” He commented, imitating the gesture of her hands “Is my blood pressure, the pregnancy makes it weird, I'm not like this because the guy I like asked me out” “How cute!” He commented again between goofy laughs. He took one of her hands, uncovering her face and pulled her with him. He invited her for lunch to a restaurant that he really liked. She was famished and she felt like she could eat at least two dishes. When she told him that, he told her to go ahead. She really liked that. She didn’t do it, but she appreciated the support “I didn’t ask you, I’m still a bit in shock…we are having a girl, you wanted a girl?” There was some awkwardness in his question and it was understandable. She felt the same. Everything was very new and sudden, but she knew he was confident about it. He had show it “Yes, I hate to admit it, but I always imagine myself with a girl, you?” She regretted asking that, of course, Kyung Soo didn’t imagine anything, this wasn’t his plan, men don’t imagine those things. It was one of those women things “Of course the priority is health, boy or girl, if they are healthy is all that matters, but I was so, so happy when the doctor said it was a girl, the possibilities are so many with a girl” Any doubt about Kyung Soo’s intentions coming to the hospital that day was over. She didn’t know if he was there out of guilt, or just trying to do the right thing, but looking at him there in front of her, drinking his coffee with a soft smile on his lips, she knew he was doing this genuinely. She didn’t eat two plates, but she did eat a slice of cake and a chocolate chip cookie. During her pregnancy, she didn’t have a lot of cravings, but her baby really liked sugar “So she is going to be an active girl” Kyung Soo told her when she shared her food preferences with him “Oh no, I was hoping she could be like me, still as a picture, what about you? You ere a good kid right?” “My mom says I was until I went to school, but I was a good kid overall, I never got in trouble” She didn’t think otherwise “Were you a good student?” “No, I hated going to school, you?” “Same, I only liked math class, if it weren’t for Junmyeon who did all my homework and borrowed me his notes I wouldn't have made it…I was smart, but not the kind of smart schools needs” Kyung Soo tapped the table and pointed at her “That’s it! That’s it! We are all smart, but school only cares about one kind of smart, I’m glad you did well though” “We did” Kyung Soo riced his glass of wine and clinked her lemonade. She wished it was a glass of wine too. She sighed heavily drinking her last bit of juice. Kyung Soo asked her what was wrong “Remember when I told you that dating me wouldn’t be fair because the me you will encounter now is different, my mood is going to be weird as hell and all that? Well, that applies to this kind of things too, I can’t go for drinks with you and get drunk, we can’t go for walks because my feet are not dealing well with this pregnancy, we can’t go for long drives because my bladder shrunk, we can’t even kiss because I look huge!” And of course, she followed that statement by shoving the last bit of cookie in her mouth. She was half-joking, half being honest but Kyung Soo just took it seriously. Not completely though, he wasn't laughing, but an involuntary smile, maybe a shy smile, kept pulling the corner of his lips as he spoke "When I met you, you weren't pregnant and I liked you, now you are, and I still like you, with all the changes" She knew this time it wasn't the baby moving because she felt the tickles not only in her stomach, also in her chest, back and legs "It would have been perfect if you said that you liked me more now" "I like you more now " She laughed, but he didn't. She didn’t care if he was lying or if it was the truth, it felt amazing to hear that from him and that was all that mattered. Kyung Soo accepted when she offered to pay for the food but made her promise that next time he was paying. She agreed as long as there was a next one. He asked her what she wanted to do now as he held her hand, his body language always clear, the date wasn’t over yet "Since now I know we are having a girl, I feel like buying her a gender-specific something, wanna come with me? " "Really? Can I buy her something too? " "As long as you don't buy her a knife" He took a step closer to her, laughing merrily but stopped rather suddenly as if colliding with something. He stopped laughing and turned his head away. He went shy and uncomfortable all of a sudden. He didn’t let go of her hand but separated from her a little bit, not meeting her eyes until she called his name and pulled him with her to the sidewalk so they could go shopping. She didn’t understand why he acted like that. His change was sudden and caught her off guard. But it didn’t matter now. She was planning on thinking about it obsessively at night, but now she had better things to do, like keep enjoying her date. They walked a couple of street until they reached a strip mall with a baby clothing store. They got in, she was already used to go inside a baby store and buy whatever she needed. The amount of cuteness and little things didn’t shock her anymore. But for Kyung Soo, it was all new. He went straight to the girl section and his eyes moved from one side to the other, his smile a mixture between wonder and happiness. He grabbed a set of baby shoes, each shoe not bigger than a peach. He turned around and showed them to her “She is going to be this tiny?” “Hopefully not tinier than that, you like those?” He nodded looking at them in awe “I’m going to buy them for her” He pulled them closer to his chest and kept looking around the store, constantly commenting on how cute and tiny they were. She let him wander around as she picked a light pink onesie with delicate embroidered around the chest and the hospital bag to put all the things she would need for the day of the delivery. He asked why she needed such a big bag. The bag brought another issue. Now that he expressed his need to be involved, he naturally had a lot of questions regarding the birth and the previous process. Was she living by herself? By the 8th or 9th month who was going to take care of her? Who was going to take her to the hospital? Was she having a c-section or natural birth? And after that, who was going to help her? The answer to most of those questions was Junmyeon. “He and his girlfriend are planning on taking care of me, the plan is that I will move to his apartment but since he has to work, his girlfriend offered to stay with me. We have the same job, so she is planning on working from home, I think I’m going to move there in a couple of months? I don’t want to invade their space” “I wish I could offer you my place, but I live with Jongin and I work 20 hours a day” She let him know that again, she wasn’t expecting anything from him “But I have enough time now to find someone who can replace me at the restaurant after you give birth, I think I can be more useful there” That sounded so nice. So very nice. Having him there to bring her calm and help when she was going to need it the most. Because now the harder thing to do was tying her shoes and maybe find the right position to sleep. But after their child was born…that was going to be hard with capital h. But still, the idea sounded too unfair for him, before she could refuse, Kyung Soo made her stand in front of her holding to her arms “It’s not unfair for me…I want to be there, please let me be there with you” Did he just read her head? It didn’t matter how bad she could feel for him and his current accidental situation, but if he honestly wanted to be there, she couldn’t deny him that experience. And she didn’t want to say no either. She wanted to be with him. She encircled his waist and brought her cheek closer to his chest. She thanked him. Her voice low as a whisper, her happiness clogging her throat, but she knew he had heard her. He hugged her tight and she felt his lips on her head. He wasn’t kissing her, but it was still warm and scarring in the sweetest way. There was nothing else to say. He was planning to accompany her. The details could be arranged later, now they could only feel calm and confident that they were there for each other “What else do you want to do in our improvised first date? We already ate and then bought things for our daughter, What other things people do in their first dates?” Has Kyung Soo always being this funny. This was the second time that day that he made her laugh hard enough to make her tear up a little bit “I would love to do more things with you, but I’m so tired, I already walked enough, my feet are a bit swollen” He pulled away from her startled, examining her “Are you tired? Your feet hurt? Are you ok?” His wide eyes looked at her in concern but lost a bit of it when she smiled at him “I’m ok, just tired” “Then I should take you home” Her hands flew to his cheeks, caressing him “How can you always say what I need to hear?” He shrugged, looking down flustered. He was so cute. So incredibly cute. And she loved that of him. But he was also loyal, funny, smart, respectful, mature, the most selfless person she had ever met. Commit to this with her was the biggest proof of it. He stopped a taxi and helped her get inside. He gave the driver her address, and she kind of liked how he knew it by memory after sending her all those meals. The streets were already packed, red lights seamed longer. She took a deep breath preparing for the extra 30 minutes it will take them to go home. The inside of the taxi was warm, the driver was playing some nice jazz and the seats were soft, it was perfect for her tired body. She scooched to Kyung Soo's side and rested her head on his shoulder "Too tired?" He asked with a smile on his mouth "Yes, it was a very exciting day" "We have a long way to your place, rest" He arranged his body so she could rest more comfortably and grabbed her right hand, resting them on his thigh. His warmth sept into her being and comforted her "Kyung Soo keep talking, your voice relaxes me" She knew this could put him in the spot, and she also knew he wasn’t very talkative. But she didn’t need a Ted Talk. A simple description of his last visit to her parent's house, or what he saw on TV would do it. But he gave her more than she expected. He called her by her name all the time. Each question escorted by his voice muttering her name in a unique way. Sweet and familiar. As if he had christened you with it so he knew how to use it. She didn't fall asleep, to interested in Kyung Soo's stories, but her entire body felt energized by his presence and peace. He called her name again and vacillated for a moment before asking her “You think it’s gonna work out between you and me?” “I think it will, what we have is rather young, but I have trust in me and especially in you, why you ask?” He twisted his body to her side so he could cuddle her closer “It’s just…you are ones and zeros and I am fat and salt” “You mean we are different” He nodded “I’m ok with that, but what is really worrying you” She tried to move to look at him, but he stopped her, maybe he wanted a bit of privacy to express his worries “As you said, what we have is young, but there is a lot in the middle, not only our daughter but also how we reach this point, I feel like if this didn’t work it would hurt me so badly…so I wanted some reassurance from you, some extra hope” She wanted to turn around and kiss him, hug him, kiss his face and hug him again, he wanted to give him that hope. But he wasn’t done yet, his grip kept enabling her from moving “My feelings for you came so suddenly and with so much force, I pinned for you for so long, and maybe the way our relationship developed was not normal, but that doesn’t change anything about how I feel for you…I’m so sorry that I’m saying this here, but I guess the closeness gave me some braveness” “Don’t worry…Kyung Soo, If you are determinate to do this with me and at the same time love me and take me as your partner I’m into this too, for what I heard, we have walked the same path, at the same time…I also fell for you hard, and pinned for a while too…my only sin was to rush into doing this, if I have waited a little bit things could have developed normally” He chuckled next to her, agreeing with her, but not shaming her “I wonder…what if the sample I purchased had belonged to another man?...” He was quick to answer “Nothing would have changed, we would be here, In the same place, coming back home after finding out we were having a girl” It felt like a miracle. That moment felt like a miracle. Finding him wasn’t something that could happen as an accident. Someone or something for some reason considered that she was worthy of someone like Kyung Soo and put his restaurant on her path, and made her set her eyes on his folder at the fertility clinic. Nothing could be a coincidence. It was a miracle. She released his hand and passed her arms around his waist hugging him tightly. She was afraid of speaking, she might cry and turn this into a very cheesy movie. So, she only hugged him, she knew it was enough. As she predicted, it took them almost an hour to arrive home. She wasn’t tired any more thanks to the very fulfilling trip. The driver wished them a good night and good luck with the birth of her baby. It was very nice how everybody was somehow nicer with you when you were pregnant. They got inside the building holding hands, she was a bit cold so he made sure to bring her inside quickly. They kept chatting on the elevator, a part of her head a bit nervous about having Kyung Soo in her house, but calm. Kyung Soo looked relaxed, so that spread to her. She opened the door and Kyung Soo held it open so they could go inside. She tried to kick her shoes off but her laces were a bit too tight and crunching down to untie them was a bit of a shore “I will help you” He got down in one knee and undid the double knots of her shoes. He did it quickly and she stood in the step of the entrance waiting for him to get rid of his own shoes. She stared at the top of his head and her chest felt this yearning that was hard to understand or control. It was suffocating “Kyung Soo?” He hummed his response, leaving his shoes next to hers, feeling at home “Before, when we were outside the restaurant, were you going to kiss me?” She felt a bit guilty for attacking like that, but his face was kind of priceless. Like a kid who was caught stealing candy. She waited for him until he could look at her “I wanted to, but I thought it wasn't the right time” She imagined that much, the way he stopped himself was very clear “What about now? Is the right time?” She did her best to sound flirty, playful so he could relax, so he could see that these kinds of things don’t need that much thinking. And it worked because he laughed and looked up at her “It... I think... It is” Perfectly synchronized, as she moved her arms to his shoulders, he passed his around her waist. She liked the position, she was a bit taller since she was standing on the doorstep so he could look at his face perfectly, the right angle. His adoring gaze and an amused grin. There was a bit of nervousness, but how not to. She was sure she was looking at him with the exact same eyes. She tangled her fingers in her short hair, pulling him closer as she leaned down. She felt goosebumps over her skin when his breath fanned her lips. Her heavy eyelids closed when she finally felt his soft lips against hers. She lost the ability to breathe for a moment, not only for the shock but also because she focused on his kiss. She engrossed herself on his kiss so she could enjoy it and remember it for the years to come. If he could describe the kiss, she would describe it as Kyung Soo. It was just the kind of kiss she would expect from a man like him. It was paced, but deep. His lips warm, soft and enchanting. He was also playful, nibbling her lower lip and tugging it sensuously, as his hands slid up her back pulling her as closely as he could. It was new, but it felt safe. It was just like him. He kissed her slowly, making it last. The kiss was short but it felt longer. His eyes opened up slowly, looking up at her. They shined like she had never seen before and pulled her in. She followed them and kissed him again, just pecking them a couple of times. It made him smile and that was all she wanted. He was so close to her. Her hands moved to his nape caressing him, making him sight in contempt and then she framed his face, caressing his cheeks that felt warmer all of the sudden, maybe for feeling observed so closely by her “I was waiting for that” She whispered, caressing the corner of his lips “But I’m glad we waited for it” “We do everything backward uh? First I got you pregnant, then I kissed you” She snorted embarrassingly, making him laugh too “Should we get married tomorrow and then date?” He asked, and she only laughed. He tucked himself tighter, resting his head on her chest and she cradled him naturally between her arms, caressing his head “How can I get so lucky? although you might not feel the same, this was never your plan” She commented, although it was more like thinking out loud. She wasn’t expecting an answer “It wasn't, but I feel lucky too, I feel very lucky” She took a deep breath, the emotion clinging to her throat. She thanked him with a string of voice and he looked up at her, thanking her too. About 15 minutes had passed and they were still at the threshold, so she invited him in, holding his hands and pulling him in. She showed him around her flat, especially the room of their daughter. He was very interested in watching her tiny toys and tiny clothes. They shared a cup of tea in the living room as the night came. It was almost dinner time. She was hungry already. Double hungry “Should I prepared us something? Should we order?” She offered, just trying to be a good hostess. He looked a bit displeased, not to say offended “I can cook you something” He was already walking inside the kitchen “Really?” “Yeah, really, what do you want?” She didn’t need to think too much about it “Chicken stew, I love your chicken stew” He turned around grabbing her apron and tightening around his waist “Chicken stew it is” He grabbed her by the waist and kissed her on the cheek and then for the first time rested his hands on her belly. She had felt her baby move around the entire afternoon, the normal fluttering feeling, but for the first time, she felt a kick. A deaf thud, not a jab, but close. She jumped in surprise. They both looked at her belly and then up. They didn’t say a thing, it was clear what just had happened, and she was so glad he felt it too. He moved his hands over her stomach, slowly and with much care. And it happened again. She yelped in surprise. And he laughed merrily, that cute goofy laugh she loved so much. They stayed like that, looking at her tummy for a long time. Kyung Soo was silent, but he didn’t need to say anything to show how happy and dumbfounded he was. She wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what to say. She brought his head up, holding his face with care. Between all the emotions they felt at that moment, there was one that she felt a long time ago but it was new for him, for sure. That tiny movement that felt like an explosion for her was that last proof that all this was real. And that day Kyung Soo not only had felt the baby move but also saw her daughter for the first time. He must have felt like a soup of feelings, from happiness to fear. She knew that feeling well “We can order something to eat” She offered again, thinking he could have a hard time focusing, but he shook his head with decision “No, no way, now I have to cook for the three of us” He caressed her tummy for the last time, and the baby only moved around, she could feel it but was sure that he couldn’t. He kissed her on the lips, a soft peck that could still make her blush and then turned around, opening her well-stocked fridge. He told her to go to the living room and seat on her sofa. She was sure that for at least thirty minutes Kyung Soo would be completely focused on his cooking. On making his warm, healing and delicious Chicken Stew.

-END-

Notes: Last story from the trilogy. It took me a while, you know why, so thank you for the constant support.

I saw this story somewhere before. A single mom that got inseminated meets a guy and they get married. Then her child needs a transplant or something, they make blood tests and stuff and bang! He was the real dad all along!!! That inspired this story.

Because of my career, I know a lot about the development of the fetus in the womb, but little about how the moms feel, so thank you to planned parenthood.org for all the answers.

Also, I don’t want kids.

#exosnet #kyung soo fanfic #kyung soo fanfiction #d.o fanfic #d.o fluff #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo fluff #Kyungsoo #do kyungsoo #d.o

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