#I can talk for hours about how problematic every single one is

[paperw0rmz]

My doctor told my mom that I was retarded when I was a kid.

He was wrong because I never became a VTuber

[kyeomyun]

8:46 PM

pairings: dad!soonyoung x gn!reader

genre: crack + fluffy fluffy fluff fluff + more crack

warnings: jokes about ripping one's ear off, cursing, that's it.

word count: 0.9k

synopsis: nothing is more loving than coming home to your tiger family- wait, what?

::note: this took me me an hour to write and this is NOT proofread as of now.

Soonyoung knew what it took to make your son follow simple orders and Soonyoung follows along with his traps every. single. time. Today was no exception. The bad outcome of all of this? Soonyoung can get a little too deep into your son's tactics and become... well... a child himself.

Leaving Soonyoung alone with your son, Jiho, was completely out of your league and range of logical ideas you have ever made while being married to the man.

No, Soonyoung is not horrible at taking care of a child. Not at at all.

He can hold a child, feed a child, hell... even communicate even if the child is using their own unique dialect and/or language to try to convey whatever rushing scenarios or kid-like ideas they try to get across (which 9 out 10, barely works without having to rapidly fire questions about whatever it is they are trying to say).

The way Soonyoung handled the kid was not the problem. It was the least of your worries.

What edged you a bit was how your husband acted with your kid. That was another beast to tackle. A completely different persona to try to age back up to his fatherly one.

You knew today would be no different after you received a call from your next door neighbor, Jihoon, Soonyoung closest friend. Well... one of his many closest friends..

"Y/n." His tone was merely agitated, you can already see the vision of his index finger and thumb massaging the stress wrinkles from his temple. A breathy sigh followed and soon, the reasoning of dialing you up. "Can you please, please, give Soonyoung an earful before I rip his ear off?"

You let out a shallow exhale, your fingers clicking across the keyboard whilst your eyes traced over the blinking cursor that slid right of the monitor in front of you.

"What did he do, Hoon?" What did he do now you really wanted to ask.

"Just.. go home and see. Just know that I am not the only neighbor complaining."

And that's how you ended back home only 1 hour before you shift really hit a close.

Now, your mind already checked off that the problematic duo was obviously rowdy. You could hear faint screams of your son from outside. Even when the wind would clog your ears temporarily and then escape back into the breeze.

You expected Jiho, wearing his pull-up diaper and nothing more, waddling side to side in the living room, his high-pitched giggles (screams) almost shattering the glass windows that surrounded almost every corner of your house, and Soonyoung, his horanghae pose while chasing his miniature him around while growling obnoxiously loud; you know, the norm.

Surprisingly, that was not the scene at hand.

After entering the not-so-quiet home of yours, you were quick to rush upstairs (locking the door of course) to see whatever ruckus they have caused yet again.

"Now, show me your teeth little guy! Say 'rawr!'" Soonyoung ordered with a somewhat argent voice, he too obliging with his request for his son.

To paint the scene, there they both sat, one in the bath full of bubbles and orange dye, face striped with black but mostly plastered with orange, and the other on his knees beside the tub that was spilling luke-warm water onto the floor — a toothbrush at hand with toothpaste lined up on the brussels.

"Rawr!" The 2-year-old went on with his father's wishes and flashed his very few teeth, some crooked but overall healthy, before your husband began his duty of actually beginning to clean your son's teeth.

"This is how you become the best tiger, little one. With such fierce determination, handsome-ness, and passion, you can be just like me."

At this point, Soonyoung was just pulling this "tiger talk" straight from his tiger ass and you could barely withstand hearing another alpha-y dialogue from him.

"You know, Ji was supposed to be bathed a hour ago, Soon." And that's when you finally met your husband eyes that day. His hand froze and so did your next rebuttals as you took in the scene that you kinda wish to erase from memory.

As if you did not think this tiger agenda could not egg more than it already has for years...

There your husband is, black stripes scattered along his face and the base or his face orange. A sloppily drawn black dot on his nose and dotted freckles on his cheeks — much like your son's face.

"Um... welcome home, darling!"

As said before, Soonyoung knows exactly what to do to make your son oblique to simple orders. You however? This will be the last day you ever listen to Soonyoung suggestions and actually follow along with them.

"I, the tiger-"

"Horang." The man next to you dared to whisper the correction of your dialogue. You darted your newly painted face (art by your son) to your husband. You jutted your face towards him, curse words rippling from your mouth in hisses so your son could not be able to complain about one.

Clearing your throat, you panned your attention back to Jiho, who patiently waited with a fork at hand and a plate sided with steamed carrots and broccoli in a bowl.

"-The Horang royal, order you, prince horang, to eat thy vegetables, or I will have no choice but to remove-"

"Terminate." Soonyoung already began to take steps back, your head already slowly turning before you began your one mission and one mission only:

Ripping Soonyoung's ear off. (lovingly)

Per Jihoon request. :)))

Your son's exciting screams only urging you on to the so desired goal.

Seungkwan was right, it really did run in the family.

(no worries, you still love Soonyoung)

did you enjoy your order?

if you did, please reblog, like, (pls) comment, all of that jazz :>

have a good day, sweets ^^

tagging: @star1117-archives @m4rsluv @luvhyun3 @trblsvt @dreamyyeosang

[absolutelyflabbergasted]

hello!

my name is Ariadne, it is nice to meet you! my pronouns are they/it, and I use all gendered terms

linguistics and anthropology are my favorite things ever, so if you want to tell me about language, culture or history, do so!

I love asks, talk to me, ask questions, give opinions, whatever!

I don’t really get context clues so apologies if I mess up! bigots of every breed go away, I will block you

my personal tags are #ari says some stuff for me being silly and talking, #ari likes things for stuff I love, #ari is confused for when I am confused and have questions and #ari draws some stuff for when I post my drawings! If you have any poetry requests, art requests or prose requests, I do them for free! I love creating but inspiration is hard to come by for me

if you use my art in anything, please credit me!

I love mutuals so much, lmk if you want to be taken of this list or added, I forget a lot lol

@ang3lic-t3ars @whydousernamesevenexist @garden-of-runar @prongsbitch @aesthetic-writer18 and some other people I’m sure! artists I heavily recommend and/or my favorite albums by them

MARINA, I love her so so much, very dramatic pop

Les failles by Pomme, my French is minimal by their music is so beautiful, like poetry

the record, and the rest by boygenius, AHHHHHHHH nuff said

Me by Brooke Alexx, sounds like bubbles

Tir by Cerys Matthews, a lot of Welsh folk songs and lullabies

Anything Conan Grey has ever made, istg

The Fool In Her Wedding Gown and Coyote Stories by the Crane Wives, and everything else really, but those are my favorites

Malfunction by Dead Posey, very brain scratchy rock

HOLY FVCK by Demi Lovato, I like it very much and FREAK is so good

WELCOME TO THE HOTEL CALIFORNIA

Love me not and Scatterbrain by Emei, sounds like a mental breakdown but fun!

Gayle, especially their singles

Black Soul Ceremony and Fool and the Thief by THE HARA

I Love It and Light Me Up by Icona Pop! I love it so much such a jam

Human Again by Ingrid Michaelson, genuinely one of the most heart wrenching thing I’ve ever listened to

Applause by Lady Gaga

born to die (the album) by Lana Del Ray

EVERYTHING LAUREN ALAINA HAS MADE IN HER GORGEOUS EXISTANCE also good if you want none problematic country music I saw her at the Grand Ole Oprey and I think I died

Maddie Zahm is so Marlene to my if I have to write her POV I turn on one of hers

Unbroken and Scar by Missy Higgins, her voice is so iconic

Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson (my American ass keyboard hates me for that)

All of the Queen classics, they are so good

How to be me by Ren, the harmony is sooo gorgeous here

Weight of the World by Shayfer James

stupid and happy face by Tate McRae

All I Can Never Be by Trash Boat

Runnin with the Devil by Van Halen

XXI Century Blood by The Warning, I LOVE THIS ALBUM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF I SING IT EVERYDAY

Eden by Willowbrook, so pretty!!

Neotheater and OK Orchestra by AJR

ABBA

ROCKISDEAD by Dorothy, country folk rock sorta thing, I love her so much

Paris Paloma, specifically Its Called Freefall and drywall, they are engraved on my heart

Harbinger by Kiki Rockwell

DEAR READER by PEGGY

Little Girl Gone by Chinchilla

CHAPELL ROAN MY LORD AND SAVIOR

The Mean Girls soundtrack

Hazel Eyes by Sabrina Jordan

Florence + the Machine

Yaelokre <3

GUTS by Olivia Rodrigo, I scream her songs like i have an ex to scream at ( i don’t)

Come Away and Irish Eyes by Rose Betts

Rich Man by Emhahee, it’s just a demo but I love it so much

Rät and Lotta True Crime by Penelope Scott

and finally, the Ride the Cyclone soundtrack

Yall better take my recommendations this took almost an hour to type out

anyways, I have no consistency and I like it like that :)

[maffinstuff97]

I liked the ending of the trainee.

Maybe an unpopular opinion by what I've read in this website?

I really liked that this series didn't focus on the romance but rather on the chemistry of the whole group of trainees. We got to see how they all evolved, how they all got tangled up with each other and how they all became friends. Of course that means that when it came to the relationship of the main characters, maybe a bit was left to the imagination.

______________

But let me start with Tae and Ba-Mhee. I am so happy that they decided to keep them together. I would hate for the start of a GL couple to be cheating... And to be honest, I saw Ba-Mhee and Judy's relationship more like one of adoration and admiration other than them falling in love. Not to say that I don't think Ba-Mhee is bisexual, she FOR SURE IS. But I like that they didn't go there just for the sake of "having lesbians in the show". I also love that they didn't solve the conflict in 2 seconds but rather showed us the characters slowly realizing that they forgave each other and missed each other.

______________

When it comes to Ryan and Jane, I fell in love with them. I think that there were some communication issues at the start but I also feel like they improved on it so much. By the end, Ryan is very vocal and Jane keeps asking him "what do you want to know?" or "what do you want to ask?", even with the mv incident. Plus, it kinda makes sense that they would start like this because Jane is in a position of power over Ryan, so both are scared of crossing that line and saying something wrong.

I love that they also didn't go for the trope where one of the members of the couple drops all their dreams and opportunities to BE in a relationship. I love that Jane actually pursued his dream and is now a director and how Ryan just supports that. Of course Ryan could have forgotten all about him in the years that Jane is out and of course people fall out of love sometimes.

But isn't it more romantic that Ryan trusted Jane to come back other than Jane just dropping everything to be with Ryan?

Plus my final thoughts on this couple is that what we saw in the series were just snippets of the start of their relationship. We see Pie at some point talking about how Ryan and Jane talk for an hour every single night and how their conversations through the printer just got longer and longer. And you can't tell me the kiss on episode 11 didn't evolve to something more.

Though we get confirmation that they didn't talk for the whole time Jane was out, I still think the way it all played out wasn't rushed or problematic. Jane didn't show up and demand to be in a relationship with Ryan, they had lunch and Jane asked if anything stayed the same. That's how nervous one can get. You know he's wondering if Ryan still feels the same, if he stopped loving him.

______________

And I LOVED IT SO MUCH THAT THEY SHOWED JANE TALKING TO JO AT THE END, MY BOY WAS TRAUMATIZED BY A FEW COMMENTS (can relate) AND I LOVED HOW THEY GAVE HIM CLOSURE.

If it's the best gmmtv series I've watched? No, not really. But I laughed and cried watching it and at the end of the day I think that's what you want from a series? idk I'm rambling now

[fantasyfantasygames]

Shop Talk

Shop Talk: a game about being trapped, Seshi Gupta, 2021

Shop Talk is a solo journaling game about being a shopkeep trying to avoid creepy suitors. Potential content warnings here - nothing in the game as written crosses lines, but it's very realistic in depicting problematic situations.

Gupta herself had an interview about Shop Talk during the pandemic:

"So there I am in 2018, young, just out of college, working at some random shop in San Francisco. And these guys keep coming in. Friendly. And they want to talk. "So for the first week I'm like 'Sure, you know, maybe I can sell them something,' so I talk to them. And it always ends with some sort of proposition. Dinner, or a movie, or sometimes they'd be, you know, really rude. I'm like 'Look, I'm just here to sell watches or paper or whatever, I'm not here so you can hit on me.' "I told my friends later, they said 'Oh yeah that's the job. Serve coffee and put up with guys who have you trapped and know you can't leave.' I'm like 'Wait all of you?' and yes, every single one of them. All of them. And it stuck in my head. Eventually I wrote a game about it, so maybe someone will find out what it was like."

Shop Talk doesn't specify a setting. It could be the modern day, or it feels like it could also be a Miyazaki-esque eternal mid-20th-century scenario. It provides you with some scenarios to write your way through. Each one starts with a job description - not the one that was on paper when the shopkeep was hired, but the things her boss expects her to do if she doesn't want to get fired. Here's a sample one for a barista:

Smile at every customer when they come in. Take their order with courtesy. Apologize when we're out of something. Smile when you hand them the receipt. When you're not busy, clean the place up or prep for the rush. Thank people if they help you but don't ask them to help you. Answer the phone but don't stay on it for more than a minute. You get two 15-minute breaks and a half-hour lunch. If I'm here I'm doing paperwork, don't call me out there except during your break.

Unlike some journaling games, where you're more literally writing in your journal, this one asks you more to write a description of the scenario with no internal monologues. No references to the emotional or mental states of the characters. You're given motivations for the customers, but you write down just pure, observable, verifiable facts.

The prompts that it gives are things like...

Does she get a phone call? What does he do while she takes it?

Does she smile at this customer? Does he say something about it?

How often does he come? How long does he stay?

What parts of her does he look at?

Does he wink at her?

Does he talk to her when there are other people or only when they are alone?

Does he show up when her shift is over?

Is her boss present in this scene? Does he ask about her boss and whether they'll be here today?

...just very straightforwardly addressing the job description, but also directly addressing points of potential danger or threat. When you read it afterward you get a pretty solid sense that things are awkward at best and feel dangerous at worst.

Gupta put the game up on itch, then took it down, then put it up again, and has said that she feels nervous about having published it because of potential backlash. I think that says as much about the situation she was in as the game itself does.

[cool-cowboy]

Hello! i hope you’re having a good day/night

totally feel free to ignore my request btw :)

i was having a little thought, how would vendetta Leon be with a chubby/pudgy wife? his wife kinda insecure about her body but he comforts her with some soft/gently sex :)

Again, feel free to ignore my request about this, truly sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, hope you have a good day, or night :3

Hope this is what you were looking for !!! Haven't done much hurt/comfort type of writing but I think he's the perfect amount of sweet and convincing.

Tags:

Hurt/comfort, older Leon Kennedy, Body image issues, soft sex, praise, body worship, dirty talk, short and sweet, vaginal fingering, warm and fuzzy

Summary:

It's movie night, and you mention some sour feelings regarding your shopping experience earlier that day, which your husband of course doesn't appreciate, showers you with compliments and reassurance and shows you just how much he loves your body, even if you don't

Text:

“You haven’t told me about your day.” He’s been home a few hours, long enough to get cleaned up, have dinner and get cuddled up on the couch. Movie night, he’d said, wants to relish his “Vacation”, considering his last one didn’t go so well. He’s got me between his legs, pulled me down instead of letting me seat myself, has me stomach down overtop him, head laid on his stomach, turned up to look at him, neither of us very interested in the movie, just the company. 

“You haven’t either.” He gives me a look, his flat, “Are you serious?” kind of look. He doesn’t like to tell me, most the time, says it brings down the mood, which I guess it does, but I don’t mind, don’t want him to carry it all on his own, even if he does prefer that to letting me shoulder it alongside him. “It was fine, boring, just missed you…” He hums, running his hand up and down my back, seeming pensive, well aware I’m not usually this vague. 

“How’d the shopping go?” Of course he wouldn’t let it be, though I guess he has no clue, just curious, doting, so I can’t really be upset with him, not his fault I’m having a dramatic kind of day. 

“Not so good… I uh- I’ve gained- Nothing was fitting how I wanted, didn’t really get much. Found some stuff for you, though.” It’s embarrassing, telling him, a man in nearly the best shape he can be, about my problems, even if he doesn’t find it all that problematic, thinks I’m the best thing on God’s green earth, doesn’t give a damn if I’m not exactly fit. 

“Mm. You think too damn much about it, sweetheart, ‘m sure you looked hot as hell. You gotta let me come with you next time, let me tell you how gorgeous you really are…” I really have no idea what it is about me, why he spoke with me that day, getting my attention and spewing the most idiotic pickup line I’ve ever heard, something about the line taking so long he could take me out before we get our coffees. At first I’d thought he was joking, had to be, looking at him, insanely handsome and fit, but he of course wasn’t, would never, talked me into my number and got me out to dinner the following Friday, and the rest is history, couple years of the most perfect love I could’ve ever hoped for, a kind and thoughtful partner, the only person I trust these days. 

“I don’t know, Le… You know I don’t like shopping…” He frowns, petting my hair, seeming upset, not happy I don’t find myself as incredible as he does, I guess, not that I can be blamed, he’s too lovesick to see it, so deep in it he’d never think a single ill thought about me. 

“Alright, just saying, offer’s on the table… But you gotta know it doesn’t matter, hun, don’t worry about it, ‘s not a- Well, you know what the hell I think, yeah? You’re goddamn perfect, that’s it, ‘m so lucky I met you, sweetheart, every goddamn day I can’t wait to come home to you, fuck, you know I’m not good at talking, let me show you.” He gets me under him, the movie all but forgotten the second he does, the familiar warmth settling in my stomach at the sight of him above me, my sour mood lifted, his love all I really care enough to keep, and he doesn’t care, isn’t bothered by a few extra pounds, relishes it, says he likes seeing me well taken care of, comfortable and just whatever I am, never asks for anything else, just me. “You were beautiful the day we met…” He leans down, pressing a slow, soft kiss to my lips, trailing his way down, slowly, speaking softly between presses of his lips to my neck. “...And you’re even better now… I was so damn nervous to talk to you… I ever tell you that?” He huffs a laugh, tickling me, the hand not supporting him running down my side, over my tee, well, his tee, pausing to grip lightly to my hip, squishing into it, a pleased sound hummed against me at the feel of it. “God, you feel good… So soft… Love your body so damn much… Love you, sweetheart… So beautiful… Fuckin’ perfect…” He’s pushing at my shirt, slow, easing it up as he kisses his way back toward my jaw, rough hand sliding up across my ribs, soft and affectionate. “You in the mood? Cause I sure as hell am, you’re looking too damn good today, been thinkin’ about it since I got home…” I hum, petting at his hair, staring up at the ceiling, feeling fuzzy from him, his affection leeching my fears away, replaced with a hazy, soft want, an easy need he’s more than ready to fulfill. 

“Yeah, I am. Feels good, Le…” It really does, especially soft, loving, his hand sliding back down to splay over my waist, thumb fanning over the skin of my stomach, sweet kisses making their way back to my lips. “You wanna go to the bedroom? I don’t wanna make a mess on the couch…” He smiles, only a little, shaking his head and kissing me some more, giving the skin he has a hold of a little squeeze. 

“I’ll clean up- Just- Don’t feel like waiting.” I hum in approval, letting my hands card through his hair and slide around the back of his neck, feeling soft, weightless from all the affection, his gentleness usually not all that plain, buried under years of weight stacked over him, his work turned him into something hard, uncaring, unless it’s for me, in which case he’s reduced to this, the lover he used to be, the kind, soft rookie cop he was meant to be, easing my shirt up over my head, seeming completely relaxed looking down on me, all gooey and comfortable, leaning down to place another sweet kiss to my lips before trailing down, kissing his way down over my stomach, looking up at me all the way down, lips skimming along toward my hip as he pulls on my pants, easing them down and off, kissing at the little indents the elastic left on my skin. “That’s it, sweetheart… Keep on looking at me… Let me show you how much I love you…” He gets rid of my panties next, running his hands back up my thighs and easing them apart, eyes cast down as he settles himself between my legs, sat up, knees under my thighs, squishing them against him, his hands covering the whole front of them as he slides them up, all the way to my waist, one coming back down to tease along my panty line, thumb tracing along the outside, slow, his eyes on my face, watching, relishing the softness between us. “So pretty baby… Love the way you look at me… So sweet for me.” He presses his thumb to my clit, trailing it down and back up, rubbing soft circles and staring down at me, his other hand on my hip, kneading, his eyes on me, affectionate, indulging. “Just relax… Yeah, look so good… Just lay back and let me make you feel good…” He’s gotten too good at it, can get me off near just as fast as I can do it myself, has me shaking already, is smiling, head titled affectionately, so doting. “That’s it… Shaking for me… So hot, baby… Go ahead, you’ve got it… So close sweetheart…” I’m not looking at him anymore, have my eyes close and my head tilted back, letting it wash over me, the tightness before release, his sweet words mellowing it all out, leaving me mushy, hazy as he works me up. “C’mon, cum for me… Wanna see you… Get you all fucked out for me… Make you forget everything but this… There you go, doing so good, look so pretty cumming for me…” It’s soft, not the usual, dramatic kind of orgasm, just a blissful kind of sensation, hazy and warm and full of him, my perfect husband. 

“Le, Come here.” He does, brings his lips to mine in the sweetest kiss I can imagine, all love, a hand to the side of my face, holding me to him while he gets his fill, kissing me soft and slow, loving me the way I’ve always wanted. “Hey… Let me have a turn.” He pulls back, giving me a look, skeptical, dipping down for a bit more of a chaste kiss before looking at me again, so affectionate it’s sickening, his love for me just about all his heart has room for, he says, tells me he’s never loved if this is what love is. 

“Not yet… I’m not done showing you just yet.”

[hernakedmuse]

Amberline

Disclaimer: This story is going to be dedicated to a very good friend of mine, why she thinks I'm good enough to let me write a character for her, I dunno.

This a Kyle Scheible x OC, there's definitely smut, adult situations, all high school characters are portrayed by adults. There's mention of eating disorder.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Part I

Sacramento High School was no longer a public school.

This year it was changed to a charter due to its very low performance.

To be honest, this town is now poor or rich, and I fall into the latter as my mother loves to remind me. It's why I've been babysitting since I was twelve, and why this past summer I was working at a doughnut stand at a fair, and this school year I'll be working at Blockbusters.

College doesn't pay for itself, and mom made it no secret that she wasn't going to donate one red cent, why should she even though my babysitting and doughnut money go toward the nice apartment we live in and toward her payments for her Lexus she can hardly afford.

I don't even have a car, and does she ever drive me to work or school? No, it's my bicycle or a bus.

She's one of those southern women that always drone on about earning things, telling me life ain't easy and I best get a grasp of that early, especially since I'll be joining the rich kids of Sacramento for my senior year.

Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic High School is so graciously funded by Charlene Sixkiller, my dearest mother. She said it'll help me get to a good school. I'm truly grateful, but I feel so pressured, I feel like school and me leaving at eighteen is all we talk about at home.

I don't even know what I want to do.

Like fuck.

I love writing but my mom says that it doesn't pay the bills. It's a big reason why she won't help me with college, because I'm choosing to be an English Major.

Okay so maybe I do know what I want to do with my life.

I write gothic novels, a cross between horror and romance. I'm not very good at it but I love writing, between that and my diary it's the only way I can actually express myself.

-

It's awkward going to Catholic school and you're not a catholic, mom was brought up southern Baptist, and I hardly know a damn thing about my dad. Although he's probably the same, being from the same area.

I've only been to my mom's hometown of Rocky Mountain, North Carolina five times in my life, and every single time I count the hours for when we return to California.

My dream school is UCLA. It's hard as hell to get into, but going to this school will help. L.A. is far enough from central California where I won't have to deal with my mom again, and besides my dad's there. Maybe I can find him, ask him why I wasn't worth sticking around for.

My alarm clock blared Good Charlotte throughout my room. With a long groan and a painful stretch, I literally threw myself out of bed.

Dragged myself to the bathroom and pulled myself into the shower. I know being goth at a catholic school is going to be a total nightmare, but I was still Gung ho on making a good first impression. I washed my hair twice with the fruity smell of my Garnier shampoo and conditioner. Then massaged my loreal color mask into my waist length black hair before combing it through and clipping it up on top of my head.

My acne is starting to clear up but there's still some stubborn blemishes on my cheek. I washed my face with a morning burst about four times before using the scrub, why did I have to have problematic skin? Between acne, my fat ass and my boobs, I felt like there were twenty signs to point out how much of an ugly freak I am. I still tried though, some days I didn't think I looked bad, but days like today…

I scrubbed my skin with my electric apple lathered loofah until it was red and raw, and then rinsed my hair mask. I turned on the radio and brushed my teeth to the new Red Hot Chilli Peppers song By the Way, my eyes gazed with judgment at my reflection. How shall I fix myself today? I was getting over an eating disorder from last year, this weight is new to me. My doctor said I looked great, but sometimes I see a dancing hippopotamus in fantasia.

I rubbed Ponds onto my face and Bath and body works toasted hazelnut lotion on my skin. I sprayed my Secret powdery deodorant on. Blowing drying my waist length, ebony hair took a half an hour and that was me rushing. I sealed it with my Garnier serum and then did my makeup, far too much black eyeliner just past the point of you have gone too far, and cherry chapstick.

I pulled on my black panties and bra before pulling on the gray pleated school skirt I was forced to wear, I felt like a soldier preparing for war. The white buttoned down shirt was tucked in and I threw on my black zipper hoodie leaving it unzipped. I pulled on black knee high socks and scrunched them down before tying on my doc martens oxfords. I shoved on my many bracelets from a Hot Topic haul and made sure my black, stretchy choker constricted my neck. I brushed my hair down one more time and sprayed on my Victoria's Secret love spell body spray I got for my last birthday. I looked at myself, the kohl making my green eyes pop like I was on something. I wouldn't call myself hideous, just not pretty, not enough.

I wasn't enough for my old friends, when I was found passed out in the girl's bathroom everything changed. Nobody wanted me around, Alyssa and Taylor stopped sitting with me at lunch, and Alyssa started dating my crush Zach. They all acted like we never met.

But I was always the one who brought the least to the group. If I couldn't make it to a Marilyn Manson concert, they still went, but when Alyssa had the flu and couldn't make it to Disneyland, everyone canceled.

I was the one who was everyone's shoulder to cry on, at twelve I taught Taylor how to use pads and take motrin when she got her period, I told Zach he was good at drums, and anytime Alyssa had guy troubles it was me who lost sleep talking to her until 3am on the phone, it was me who bought her Häagen-Dazs and watched her stupid guilty pleasure show with her, Sex and the city, it was me who washed her hair and ran her a bath.

But it was never enough. Who knows, maybe I'm not meant to be happy. It's not in the cards for me I think.

The main reason for starting fresh and going to a new school wasn't just about college. It was so I wouldn't have to see the faces of the people who were supposed to be my best friends in the whole world, and couldn't get off their asses to visit me in the hospital.

I put my headphones and placed my Simple Plan CD into my player and turned it on blast.

Mom already left for work, she wasn't the kind of mother to prepare me a big breakfast for my first day. I grabbed an apple and granola bar and left to go catch the bus, getting catcalled on the way by guys old enough to be my dad.

Getting on that school bus was what you expected, the kids caught a look at the girl with black hair and equally black eyeliner and snicker or get out my way faster than a bat out of hell.

I sat in the very back next to a girl with shoulder length, dirty blonde hair pushed back by a headband that matched her gray school skirt.

She started talking to me, I saw her mouth move but couldn't hear one word. What is wrong with her? Can't she see that I'm wearing headphones? I wanted to ignore her so badly but I could not be rude to save my life. So I tapped the pause button with a black nail and pushed my headphones down before looking at her. "Can I help you?"

She smiled and laughed. "I was just saying you're new, I've never seen you before."

She wanted to bother me for that? I smiled though. "Yes, you're right. How perceptive of you."

The girl just laughed. "I'm Gretchen, I go to Mary's too, what grade are you in?"

"I'm a senior."

"Me too! We're the only seniors on the bus, did you know that?"

Thank you Gretchen for making me feel like such a loser.

The bus ride consisted of Gretchen asking for my entire autobiography. Was she a news reporter or something? All she got out of me was that I went to Sacramento High, which she made a snobby face at, and that I didn't leave behind any friends.

Once we got off of the bus, she didn't leave me alone. She was telling me about everyone who went to our school. I nodded along without paying attention but couldn't find the heart to be mean. I mean she's taking the time to get to know me and be my own personal tour guide.

"Amberline is a really strange name." She said suddenly.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that, I'll change it when I get the chance."

She laughed and I held back the urge to roll my eyes. "I'll just call you Amber, come on Amber I'll take you to morning mass?"

"Morning mass?"

She nodded. "It's a catholic school of course."

I followed her to the chapel, it was all very beautiful and sacred looking. Pairs and pairs of eyes focused on me though, and I noticed boys filing in, which confused me since this was an all girls school. I asked Gretchen about it.

"The boys school shares certain things with us like the chapel for morning mass." Then Gretchen gasped and whispered loudly to me. "Oh there he is!"

"Who?" I asked with confusion, she was acting hysterical.

"Kyle Scheible!"

Walking in the line of boys to the priest was a boy far too handsome to be in high school, but you could clearly tell he is in fact in high school. Is he the usual ghostly pale and manic panic black haired with piercings type I go for? No, he was so much better than that. Something I thought I'd never say.

I can't believe that I can actually understand Gretchen's state of hysteria, but I do.

He has hooded, sleepy looking dark green eyes, with flecks of Hazel, I saw this as he walked by me. His lashes were poetically long and his nose pronounced beautifully. His lips were drawn in a pout that matched his careless posture of hands buried in the pockets of his khakis, which should have taken away how hot he is but it didn't.

His hair, God his hair needed the attention of my fingers combing through the dark chocolate curls. He wore it longish in a poetic way, his lean physique made him look taller, and he has the sort of neck you just know smells so good.

And because Gretchen isn't that great of a whisperer, he did look over. It was a lazy look over at first, like he was used to these whispers of him, which he probably was. But then his lazily droopy eyes popped open and bit when looking over at us. At me.

Oh no, oh God he was looking over at me? I immediately felt self conscious, what if he notices my breakouts? What if he finds my nose strange or finds me annoying looking? It's a catholic school. What if my look was too Crucible for him? Why did this guy who I don't know, opinion matter so much to me?

He looked at me, he really looked at me– Oh God, he stepped out of line to walk over straight to me. I could barely hear Gretchen's panicking, it was just me and him in this place of worship. Someone whispered how Kyle never approaches anyone.

He then stood over me, my eyes widened a bit and a hardly there smirk painted his pursed lips. His dead eyes swept over me, and in a lazy voice he asked, "Do you smoke?"

"Yes."

I don't know why I said it, I've never touched cigarettes in my life and I've only had one beer when I decided alcohol wasn't for me. But for this mystery boy, I thoughtlessly said yes.

"I mean no, I lied, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that." I said breathlessly. Why was I out of breath?"

Kyle just…smiled at me, it looked foreign on his lips like he wasn't used to it. "What's your name?" His voice was musically calm.

I opened my mouth to answer but I was up next to bite the wafer and sip the wine. I didn't hear from Kyle for the rest of the day.

@meetmyothersouls

[moviemunchies]

How the fudge do I even begin talking about this movie? I kept seeing that this movie was amazing, and so I figured I’d try watching it while it was on Netflix. And let’s be straightforward here, it IS amazing, but it’s also insane to think about.

So I don’t know how to start, but I’m going to give it a try.

RRR is an Indian film in Telugu (though Netflix doesn’t have it in that language) featuring real-life Indian heroes Alluri Sitarama Raju and Komaram Bheem as best friends fighting against the British Raj in the 1920’s. Director S.S. Rajamouli wondered what it would be like if the two of them knew each other, and fought together in their efforts to make India independent of the English. The result is an action movie with such amazing and ridiculous over-the-top action sequences (including a dance number!) which cares less about historical accuracy and more about making the most awesome movie imaginable.

And it works???

I’ve been turning this over in my head days after I saw it, because let’s face it: this is nationalist propaganda. I’m trying to figure out why this doesn’t bother me as much as something like Ip Man, which is also transparently nationalist propaganda–part of the Plot of that movie is proving that a Chinese martial art is better than a Japanese martial art. That’s a bit excusable in that instance because it takes place in World War II and the Japanese were not kind to the people they colonized. But it felt really off that the movie’s ending implies that China defeated Japan on their own (they very much didn’t) and China today is more and more happy to oppress its people in pursuing its own nationalist agenda.

[Also Ip Man is still a pretty good movie overall so don’t take this as me hating that movie. But I have problems with it.]

Which is not to say that Indian nationalism can’t be problematic! Oh, it can. But this movie is less ‘We’re better than the colonizer nation’ as much as “We’re awesome, they shouldn’t be oppressing us, we’re not taking credit for winning wars we didn’t win.” Also, it’s worth noting that the Koh-i-Noor is still a part of the Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom.

It’s also worth noting that while both Ip Man and RRR are about real-life historical figures, it’s not as if you’ll watch RRR and think of it as being remotely accurate to the true history of things. Look, when characters are able to punch out tigers, I like to think that the audience can realize that some artistic liberties have been taken.

Or maybe I’m just massively overthinking this. It is a movie in which one of the characters is introduced hunting a tiger by leading a wolf to it.

This is a three-hour film, but you are not going to get bored with it. Yes, there are scenes that are not over-the-top action scenes, but they’re all interesting. I wouldn’t say that everything is overdramatic, because that implies something like a tedious soap opera drama. But it is definitely playing into a style of storytelling that plays up the dramatic elements to ensure that every single scene is memorable.

It’s a big, loud, action movie, and its battle scenes are utterly ridiculous in many ways. Raju and Bheem are each a one man army that can curb stomp any enemies that come up against them with very little effort. It’s absurd but it’s oddly satisfying to watch. If you’re a fan of those kinds of fight scenes you’ll find a lot to like here. If you haven’t been exposed to it, you may find yourself becoming a fan.

It’s just darn, fun, man! Which is odd to expect in a movie about fighting colonialism. Maybe that’s more common in India, but in the US our movies tend to make those things into much darker films.

Like I said, there is no way on Netflix to watch it in the original language. It’s also weird because the English character speak in English, but the subtitles don’t always exactly match their dialogue? Maybe that’s something about the Hindi dub, which is what I watched.

There was also a notice before the film began that almost all of the animals in the movie are CGI. It’s pretty obvious with some of them, like the wolves and the tigers. That doesn’t bother me too much, because it seems like making realistic animals was not always the goal–this is a mythic story, so of course the creatures are larger than life.

If you can accept an upbeat, turned-up-to-eleven, three-hour action film in which two Indian bros loosely based off of real-life heroes fight English imperialism, you’ll love this movie. If you can’t, then you might see this movie as too silly for its own good. But once you get into it, it’s loads of fun and an unforgettable film.

[countlessrealities]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST.

name. Scotty

pronouns. they / them

preference of communication. Tumblr IMs or Discord (even if I’m selective with whom I hand my Discord to. We need to have talked at least a bit here before).

name of muse. I currently have 12 active muses (both canon and OCs), 3 test muses and 1 request muse on this blog. Mort of them are Rick and Morty muses (all versions of the two titular characters).

rp experience / how  long. I don’t remember for how long exactly I’ve been RPing. It has to be at least 8-10 years. I started on another site and then landed on Tumblr about 5-6 years ago.

best experience. I don’t have a specific episode that I consider the best ever, but in general the best experience for me is connecting with kin minded people and build a world of plots and interactions through of our characters. It’s always a lot of fun and very stimulating. I have a few people I’m especially grateful to in this sense and I hope I’ll have the chance to keep writing with them for as long as possible. And hopefully to meet more like them.

rp pet peeves / deal breakers. This calls for a quite the list xD No rules / muse(s) page. Drama / callout culture. DNI for specific characters. Cyber-bulling of any sort (and yes, this includes harrassing people for liking content that you consider “problematic”. If you do that sort of things, get away from my blog, grow the fuck up and get a life). Untagged posts / untagged NSFW, or too fancy tags that are hard to blacklist. Being a self-absorbed dick in general. People who ignore the starters / replies to ask you wrote for them. People who try to force their personal headcanons / views about my muses on me. People who use the “this is a hobby” excuse to be terrible to their writing partners and to not give back the effort people offer them.

fluff,  angst, or smut. Angst is one of my favourite things to write, so that’s definitely my pick. I still like a happy ending after navigating an ocean of feels, pain, trauma, broken spirits, crushed dreams and so on x’D But yeah, angst all the way. Fluff is good to balance more intense threads, so I don’t mind indulging in that too. As for smut, I’m extremely selective with it. I write it with trusted people only, and only when inserted in the context of a developed scenario / ship.

plots or memes. I’m definitely partial to plotting. I like creating long-term storylines, dynamics and arcs / verses. It’s really important for me to plot at least the general idea for first interactions especially, because it helps me getting an idea of what the other person is looking for.

long or short replies.  I’m a descriptive RPer, so I almost exclusively do multi-para and novella threads. Single para are for brief interactions / crack.

best time to write. I don’t really have a specific time. My inspiration comes and goes as it pleases, it could hit me at every hour of the day and of the night. I usually end up writing at night mostly because it’s when I have more free time.

are you like your muse. I share some traits with most of my muses, but I wouldn’t say that there’s a muse that is exactly like me. If something I’m a bit of a mix of some of them. I tend to be almost as cynic as Rick, I can be a bitch like Summer, and I struggled with bad anger issues in the past like Morty does and I tend to put up a facade / play a certain kind of persona for the world to see Like Blitzo. I’m not super easy to approach (even if it might not seem so), I have plenty of insecurities and I’m really socially awkward, traits that characterises a good number of my muses.

tagged by: @warmongersofzaun & @surgingchef [[ thank you! ]] tagging: @advnterccs @thesafaribaggirl-returns @floweremojifound @esmorothfallen @heamvir @defactomatriarch @finitecurved​ & whoever wants to steal it !

[collidingxworlds]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST.

name. Scotty

pronouns. they / them

preference  of  communication. Tumblr IMs or Discord (even if I’m selective with whom I hand my Discord to. We need to have talked at least a bit here before)

name  of  muse. I currently have 6 active muses, 1 test muse and 2 request muses on this blog

rp  experience  /  how  long. I don’t remember how long exactly I’ve been RPing for. It has to be at least 8 years. I started on another site and then landed on Tumblr about 5-6 years ago

best  experience. I don’t have a specific episode that I consider the best ever, but in general the best experience is connecting with kin minded people and build a world of plots and interactions through of our characters. It’s always a lot of fun and very stimulating.

rp  pet  peeves  /  dealbreakers. No rules / muse(s) page. Drama / callout culture. DNI for specific characters. Cyber-bulling (and yes, this includes bullying people for liking content that you consider “problematic”. Grow the fuck up and get a life). Untagged posts / untagged NSFW, or too fancy tags that are hard to blacklist. Being self-absorbed dick in general.

fluff,  angst,  or  smut. Angst is one of my favourite things to write, so that’s definitely my pick. I still like a happy ending after navigating an ocean of feels, pain, trauma, broken spirits, crushed dreams and so on x’D But yeah, angst all the way. Fluff is good to balance more intense threads, so I don’t mind indulging in that too. As for smut, I’m extremely selective with it. I write it with trusted people only, and only when inserted in the context of a developed scenario / ship.

plots  or  memes. I’m definitely partial to plotting. I like creating long-term storylines, dynamics and arcs / verses. It’s really important for me to plot at least the general idea for first interactions especially, because it helps me getting an idea of what the other person is looking for.

long  or  short  replies.  I’m a descriptive RPer, so I almost exclusively do multi-para and novella threads. Single para are for brief interactions / crack.

best  time  to  write. I don’t really have a specific time. My inspiration comes and goes as it pleases, it could hit me at every hour of the day and of the night. I usually end up writing at night mostly because it’s when I have more free time.

are  you  like  your  muse. I share some threads with most of my muses, but I wouldn’t say that I’m like them. Perhaps, the one I’m the closest with, personality-wise, is Five. I’m very cynic and pessimistic, I can be very harsh and too straightforward, I’m insanely stubborn, I have real poor people skills and a potty mouth (not always but when I let myself speak freely...yelp) xD

tagged by: @knightinsourarmor (( thank you! ))

tagging: @omniishambles @imprvdente​ @paradiseturnedhell​ @elisethetraveller​ @governmentofficial​ @waywardfeathered​ @rapxir​ @motleysort​ @aubainmary​ @batteredoptimist​ @ncxile​ & whoever wants to steal it !

[thessalian]

Thess vs Being an Immigrant

WIth things a little more set up for this evening’s D&D session, I did a thing that was either going to depress me too much to play at all or really put me in the mood to go full-on feral: I looked at the news.

The Tories are ... bad, okay? They’re mega-super-ultra bad. Problem is, Keir Starmer, the leader of the Labour party, is giving worse and worse takes on everything, every time he turns around. He keeps going on about how he will Make Brexit Work, without actually explaining how, and I tolerated it only because I was hoping he was saving the “I’m going to at least get us back into the single market if the EU can ever forgive us the Tory issues” bombshell for when he was safe in office. He keeps going on about how strikes shouldn’t be happening and Labour MPs should not be on the picket lines, never mind that the entire fucking Labour party was started by labour unions; that is why they are the Labour party, because I was hoping that he was saving the “Everybody needs to sit down, shut up, and make sure people get proper pay and job security, and they shouldn’t need strikes to make their voices heard” bombshell for when he was safe in office. I tolerated a lot because frankly he seemed - and honestly still somewhat seems - better than the alternative.

Thing is, his issue today is ... well, the NHS. Because it always comes back to the NHS. Or, more specifically, using the NHS to underline, highlight, and carve in stone how much he’s actually supporting the mess of a Brexit we have. Because his comment has been, “We’re recruiting too many people from overseas! We don’t want open borders! Points-based system! Freedom of Movement is gone and it’s never coming back, so it’s time to hire BRITISH!”

...’scuse me? Sir? That’s going to be a problem. Here are the reasons why, from someone who has worked in or at least with the NHS for decades:

While not at US level yet, UK university costs more than just about anywhere in Europe. Interest rates are sky-high, making loans a problematic prospect at best. Add to that the cost of living increase, which is going to hit university students particularly hard, and the number of people who can actually qualify to work in the health care sector drops dramatically.

So let’s talk about nurses. There used to be bursaries for people to qualify for nursing, free of charge. I know because I was actively considering it at one point. Then the Tories nuked it. Unless you want to bring that back, welp, we’re still screwed in terms of the financial outlay required for nursing training.

“Ah,” I hear you say, “but the wealthy could do it!” Except ... why would they want to? We have all heard the stories about the NHS and how the government has been treating it - everyone. The pay’s crap (which is why so many doctors also run private practices, which reduces the overall availability of doctors), the stress is unbelievable, the hours expected are ludicrous, and the government has a tendency to try to make their lives even more miserable in the name of false economy. So the wealthy will probably want cushier jobs, since ‘doctor’ is not a profession that denotes wealth, status, and prestige anymore. As for nursing? I can’t see that at all, given what a nurse has to do day-to-day.

Even if all of those issues were fixed tomorrow (AND THEY WON’T BE; WE ALL KNOW THIS), training up medical professionals takes time. Years of study, more years being shadowed by senior doctors before real, proper qualification happens. Rush that, and you’re risking people’s lives. So it will be minimum 5-10 years before a meaningful number of British people could qualify to work as healthcare professionals even with abolition of university fees, the return of the university grant, and the salvation of the economy from its current shambles. We can’t wait a decade to fix this. Therefore, our only hope is to get already trained people in the interim and then we can talk about how to get more British people qualified to work in the health sector.

Starmer has to learn that waving the Brexit flag is not going to have the desired effect. Yeah, the people who still support Brexit are either exceedingly loud or, worse, quiet but powerful (say, the ERG). But just because they’re loud doesn’t mean there are all that many of them. A lot of people who were for Brexit during the vote are starting to rethink now, especially when at least one expert made no bones about stating, loudly and clearly, how much Brexit has to do with our current economic shambles.

“Labour has pledged to take on an extra 7.5k medical students every year if their party wins the next general election”, they say. Okay ... how? Who pays for it? What’s the economy going to look like in two years that means that this is possible? Even if the numbers can somehow be massaged to make that possible, that’s extra medical students who have only just started training. See above re: it takes time to train a doctor.

You know, this country keeps making it clearer and clearer how much it hates me. It hates me because I’m disabled. It hates me because I’m queer in any way you care to name. And, for all “they don’t mean me” because I’m white, they hate that I wasn’t born here. My paternal grandparents were, sure, but I was not. So every time they talk about immigrants, they are talking about me. I don’t care if they mean ‘the bad ones’; the ones who don’t speak English as their first language, or are darker of skin tone, or live in a country just across the Channel that they keep insulting at every turn. I am an immigrant, and I’m not even a citizen, so everything they are saying, they are saying about me. Because I am no different than anyone else who lives and works here but wasn’t born here. In fact, I’m nowhere near as well-educated or well-qualified as most of them.

I mean, I hate it here anyway. I hate this country as much as it hates me. So maybe I shouldn’t care. But I do. I know a lot of people can relate to feeling like their country hates them because of who they are. I’m not sure if it’s better or worse if the country isn’t even yours but you’re stuck in it, with it hating you the whole way.

Suffice to say, I’m still going to vote Labour but only because the Tories are still, unbelievably, worse, and voting for anyone else guarantees the Tories a win. Especially given that the next general election is going to involve voter ID and government oversight over the Elections Committee, and when you add that to First Past The Post, shaking the Tories is going to be hard enough without trying to swing Lib Dem or the Greens into 10 Downing Street. We’re a two-party system in all but name, honestly. Besides, Lib Dem and the Greens have been keeping their heads down lately. I have a feeling that neither of them really want to win the next election because whoever does is going to have the hugest mess to clean up and no one really wants it. Except the Tories, probably, who are profiting off of making it worse.

Still not sure if angry or too depressed to cope. But at least there’ll be some fun later. Time for a trip to the shops, food, and painkillers, I think.

[tuiyla]

"idk if anyone watched that “Ryan Murphy is problematic” video on youtube but tell me I’m not the only one who found it an unfair and lacking in nuance take" can you expand on your problems with that video? 🤔

Okay so it's a half an hour video, available here, so I won't touch on every single point they bring up. From the get-go, my problem is that the vast majority of the talking points are based on nothing but conjecture and what Ryan Murphy is supposedly like as a producer but also more so as a person. I get that producers work with and are in charge of people but I find it inherently, hmm, well, let's repurpose the word "problematic" to try and draw conclusions about people based on their work, rather than just examining their work. I'm all for criticizing Ryan Murphy's work, and yeah sometimes we speculate what personal agendas or even vendettas could have been influencing said work, but this whole video simply doesn't justify its existence to me. There's simultaneously an aversion to drawing any sort of conclusion, since it is just a summary of rumours and allegations, but also a clear judgement in the way these rumours are presented.

Like I said I don't wanna touch on everything but just a few moments in particular to get a sense of what I mean:

The two sections on RM "hating" Chris Colfer and Dianna Agron. Sometimes I think the Glee fandom gets so immersed in its own mythology it forgets that so many of these universally agreed-upon truths are just rumours perpetuated by tabloids and tiktok teenagers. I've had an ask about that Rolling Stone interview sit in my inbox for a while so maybe one day I'll dissect the Dianna of it all, but the way this video uses pure conjecture to speculate even further just creates more and more unsubstantiated claims. The dots connected between Ryan's tweet about "Quinn" filming in Europe and the New Normal stuff is like, come on, where do we draw the conspiracy theory lines. And as another example of trying to substantiate conjecture with more conjecture, the Ashley Fink rumours coupled with the Lea Michele ones. I won't get into it here, it's in the video presented in such a bizarre way, imo. "Here's this malicious rumour, I know we have to take it with a grain of salt so here's another rumour to back it up." That's not how it works. But it is the nature of videos like this that they can't bring anything new because we don't have the facts, so they just regurgitate decade-old rumours and try to pass judgement on people we do not and never will know. Adding "...allegedly!" at the end of claims does not make the framing of this any better.

The biphobia section, which is so emblematic of Gleeks being ultra ready to blame everything wrong with Glee on Ryan Muprhy - and sometimes give him all the credit, too, which just does not work on any TV show, let alone one with three showrunners. Now, we won't get into the actual biphobia of it all because I'm sure I've spoken about it somewhere and I don't think whether Ryan Murphy is biphobic is the point. The point is that you can look at the text, Glee, and criticise its approach towards bisexuality and you'd be right to do so. But you can't just imply or outright say that this one writer out of three main ones, or later one of many, is responsible for it all, much less say that it reflects his personal beliefs. It's also wild to speculate on whether Brittana would have happened if it was only up to Ryan; credit Brad Falchuk (and Naya) by all means but it's just really running with conjecture to imply that Ryan himself never would have made Brittany bi. We just don't know "what if" and what's the point in trying to say stuff like "Ryan agreed, but WHAT IF Brad wasn't there" like come on, how is that a valid claim against Ryan Murphy. I certainly don't think it is in the way it's presented. Again, Glee's biphobia is fucked up. Again, I actually do have beef with RM regarding biphobia in particular. But this is all presented in such a tabloidy gotcha way and that doesn't sit well with me.

In general it's a lot of "maybe this doesn't mean, a grain of salt, BUT have you considered this other rumour and how it all adds up?" And no, I don't think it does and I don't like the way all of this is framed, where you're encouraged to make of it what you will but there's a very clear direction in which you're being steered. Which makes sentences like "I do normally try not to bring up things that are purely speculation" w i l d because, to me, so many of these are. Based on a kernel of truth or twisted from something factual, sure, but twisted nonetheless and the conclusions drawn can in no way be definitive. Just because these are all widespread rumours that doesn't make them not rumours.

There are other things like trying to use Naya's dad's tweets as a source and a, idk, gotcha moment against Ryan Murphy. "Still heavily questioned whether or not that's true," they say about Ryan's statement, but that short section becomes emblematic of the whole approach. Take Ryan's statements and defense with a heavy dose of skepticism but imply that claims against him are somehow more substantial. I just don't like the bias, the lack of true nuance, the lack of a point, really. And again blaming everything that happened on Glee, even stuff he didn't actually write on Ryan Murphy is just grasping at every possible straw to round out this video on him being "problematic". Still hate that word.

To be perfectly clear, this is not me coming at the person who made this video, I'm sure they're lovely and are just doing their thing on youtube. I just don't find it any more substantial than a buzzfeed article listing all the Glee bts rumours relating to Ryan Murphy. (I didn't touch on Dahmer simply because I can't and don't care to, plus most of the video is Glee-related anyway.)

[cantcompetewhereudontcompare]

Literally no part of that story even implies anyone FORCED anything on anyone. Do you know the meaning of words?

I'm a sexual assault victim as well. A rape victim. A lot of women are. And you're really stepping outside of the line comparing a consensual kiss between two adults who were on a date and had previously kissed like, hours ago, to SEXUAL ASSAULT. YOU are triggering and doing all this for literally zero likes and a block. Please think before you send an anonymous cowardly as fuck ask.

Harry didn't take advantage of her. They went on a date, they kissed, she went back to his place because she asked to go. They shared a makeout session that was extremely welcome, which she literally described with a huge smile on her face. Your rape has literally absolutely nothing to do with any of this and it's extremely problematic for you to bring something like that up in this context.

She asked him not to do anything else and he was extremely gracious and didn't push or pout or complain whatsoever (bare minimum, btw, but you're literally claiming he ASSAULTED her so you know, not something I can NOT highlight).

They didn't go on another date because her phone broke right after that night and she had to change her number. She doesn't know if he texted her or not because she never got to find out.

If no other words other than the ones described in the video were exchanged it still wouldn't be anywhere CLOSE to assault or harassment or anything of the sort, but the fact that she's very obviously just retelling highlights of the night and we don't have a play by play of everything they said... and she's not claiming the kiss was unwelcome in any way whatsoever, she LITERALLY said how much she loved it and wanted it. How do you know there wasn't a text about wanting to be kissed? Or that they didn't talk about it while they had dinner? Or that it wasn't made obvious while he waled her to her car? How are you comparing non-consensual sex to A KISS? "My rapist was a man I had consensual sex with many times before he took advantage of me" is an INSANE thing to say in the context of them making out upon her arriving to his house to continue with the date they'd just had and kissing when he walked her to her car. Do you think people ask "can I kiss you?" every single time they kiss? LMFAO. No, you don't, and you're not making this claim in good faith. You're just butthurt I'm calling ZAYN MALIK A DOMESTIC ABUSER so you're trying to lash out.

If you're on a date with someone and have been kissing them, and then go to their house, another kiss is literally just a continuation of what you've been doing. Can you imagine being asked "can I kiss you?" before every kiss? Even during the same night? Like what a fucking ridiculous argument jesus fucking christ. After the fourth time asking if they can kiss me I'm gonna smack them around the face.

Comparing consensual adults sharing a kiss with rape is literally super problematic and extremely dangerous. I really hope you get psychological help if you think it's okay to send this ridiculous bullshit to strangers to try to come for a celebrity you don't like or because the stranger happens to not like a celebrity you do like. You're a fucking asshole who probably has no friends.

And just because of this message it'll be my motivation to actually show you how much of a cunt your favorite artist is. With real shit and not made up bullshit pulled out of your ass. Not because of coming for a celebrity, who gives a fuck about that? But because you could really trigger people who are actual survivors of rape, like me with your made up bullshit (no actual rape survivor would send this message, I do not believe for a second you were ever in this position).

And you should thank your lucky stars you haven't you fucking asshole. I hope you never do. Because I do not wish that upon ANYONE.

[j3scax]

Okay small rant time.

I'm getting real tired of like, social media atm. Idk if it's like, my own fault or the fault of the world or whatever but it just feels like everything is somehow so much more aggressively aggressive and in your face. Maybe when I was younger I just didn't realise, but it feels like recently all I see is drama, hit pieces or identity war shit.

I fully understand politics and such are important, as well as trying to help people understand why something may be problematic. But sometimes it feels so extremely overbearing. A lot of my YouTube feed is just "___ is over" or "___ is horrible" rather than like, random video essays I watch pretty much all the time. Most of the videos I watch aren't these kind of drama videos, I may watch an odd Moistcritical video now and then but other than that I wanna watch a fucking hour long video about Venus or something. It's why I appreciate channels like Wendigoon so much, even when he does get dragged into drama (which mind you is the personification of pointless drama I'm seeing) his channel just stays the same as always, I can just sit down and listen to him talk about some random cool niche thing.

Some social media platforms have always been like this, for example Twitter - that has always been a shit hole so it has always been easy to circumnavigate that kind of community since all you need to do is not to go on Twitter. But now it's just fucking everywhere and it makes me feel like shit. I'm tired of it all, and I don't care for it anymore. It feels like no matter where I go I have to deal with this shit, and although you could argue this stuff is important it surely isn't that important if I can talk to my friends or meet people irl and never get onto these subjects or topics. Sure it might come in passing like "Oh did you hear about ___" but that's the extent of it.

It also feels like no matter what your opinion is online you're somehow wrong to someone. You could give an extremely well detailed, well reasoned and well thought out opinion and you'll just be criticised just because mob mentality. And the inverse is true, it gives people with unreasoned opinions that are genuinely terrible to have a platform to share them. I've always said this is just the issue of free speech, if you allow people to freely speak there's going to be bad or negative opinions, but this shit shouldn't be constantly peddled to me on platforms like YouTube when I don't engage in the content.

I just feel like everything is more hateful and everyone seems to need to take sides on something, and if you even dare not to comment or remain partial (either because you don't care, don't want to involve yourself or believe you're not educated to give your opinion) you're somehow worse than fucking Satan himself. Yet even if you do give your stance you're still somehow hypocritical or a bad person. I just hate it and I genuinely don't think the internet used to be like this. I might be talking out of nostalgia. But pre-COVID compared to post-COVID just feels so much more noticeable to me.

I remember my time on social media back in 2019-2021 and while there were still some of the things I've discussed, it was nowhere near as obvious. Sure you had your niche areas of hatred like the DreamSMP, but as someone who never really engaged in the fandom or community I never really experienced the negatives of it and it wasn't as pushed into my face. That's how it used to feel to me, stuff like this would be relegated to just one area or fandom, rarely did stuff spread out of their own communities - and those that did spread out gained the reputation of being toxic with people knowing to avoid them. But now stuff begins to feed over into everything, and I mean everything. I could just be watching a streamer or whatever - someone who doesn't need to be or wouldn't be involved in said issue - and they'll be interrogated on every single view they have on every piece of drama. I was peddled a fucking GODZILLA drama video a couple days ago, a fandom I have never interacted with once or engaged with on YouTube.

I'm tired of it. Just because other people want to engage in a constant hate spiral to ruin their lives, want to constantly make money off of milking every topic of note, doesn't mean I want to. And if you ever express an opinion like this, suddenly you're a bad person, or you're defending whoever in whatever drama, or you're ignorant for ignoring current issues. Yes. I think knowing about and educating people on current issues is important, and I'm not saying it's bad to inform people or report news, but this shit is all I'm fucking given. Like I said earlier, you'd still have drama videos or exposés back before COVID, but it wouldn't constantly be in your face. It isn't like the News where you can choose to interact with it or not.

Even then, I'd still argue that the only issues that really matter are problems that relate to you - and these are the issues we should push people to research or interact with. We should push people to look into whether their tax money is being misused and we should educate them on it. We should educate people and give news to people about what is happening in their war torn home country. We shouldn't be constantly pushing people and forcing people to decide whether Mr. Beast is a pedophile or not. As someone who has no care for Mr. Beast, I don't fucking care and I don't want to see it or hear about it.

That's my little rant over.

[lavendertowerarchives]

I seem to only be interacting with things under the guise of addictions. I mus clarify, I don't believe I am addicted to anything, but the only pleasures I gain are from engaging with the source in a depraved, desperate, and destructive manner.

I indulge in my interest to an unfortunate excess. I can't have just a little of something. It's not really a decision I make, whether to "have a lot" of a thing or only have a little. I decide to have some, and the decision to stop never crosses my mind, no matter the external reasons. Everything else becomes neglected. Day after day.

The variety of my various sources of happiness is wide enough and discrete enough that I feel comfortable saying I am not addicted to anything. If I crave something like I can't live without it, then it's the only thing I crave. Several hours later, that thing will be dead to me, whether I get it or not.

I love my partner. I spend day after day with them, only after not seeing them for even longer. There is not a single second where we are more than 10 meters apart.

I love video games. I will play them for hours on end, postponing literally everything. I don't eat, piss, respond, sleep, etc. I will accidentally or purposefully ignore dire needs of my body to the point of debilitating pain, simply because I don't see it as "important" or sometimes just not noticing how bad it is.

The same happens with writing, be it code or prose or poetry. I have a puzzle to solve, and I have the fuel for my brain to keep it occupied into the late hours of the next morning. I normally have a semi-rigid discipline for when I go to sleep. Not when I write. I know my inspiration will not return for entire agonizing days at a time if I'm interrupted for even thirty seconds.

If I talk to my friends at all (not likely), it's for hours. I will be laughing my ass off or be the most in-depth problem solver for miles around. My devotion will not wane. After the fact, I can see how problematic it might seem, to have someone so into the conversation, but it's rather difficult to contain my enthusiasm for a single person's giant donation of attention.

I've found that I have become confused about how pleasure works. This happens every so often, but I have never found a way out of it. Why do I chase these things, what is this intangible value I call "happiness?" Why does stupid shit happen when it runs out, and why does that stupid shit make so much sense to me only half the time? I must risk sounding purposefully edgy and dark, but I assure you, this is not just to grab attention or justify being bleak for the sake of being bleak:

It sounds futile. This stuff keeps going away. It leaves me at unsustainable rates. I'm spending this currency faster than I can earn it. I'm eating this food faster than I can cook it. My day isn't over yet I need it to end now. Whatever metaphor you want to use. I dunno.

Me, finding this conclusion, looks like convergent evolution. No one convinced me of this or told me this or led me to believe this. I came to it on my own. It happens to match what many other people think, but I keep other people's conclusions out of my own theories since whatever circumstances drew them to their own lines of thought are not my own.

I'm sad that I sound so stock, so... Boring. On retrospection, being boring and saying what's already been said isn't bad. I just make it seem bad since I despise using other people's work. This time, we all did different work to get the same product. I'm just doing accidental peer review. Life is fucking useless but I'll keep using it until it breaks. It seems pretty damned best up and bent right now.

Life's pretty fuckin shit right now. Even with no responsibilities, I have no energy. It turns out that the stressors weren't exactly the problem, I was just like this from the start.

[herunswithscissors]

David Attenborough adventures around in his old age playing with a lemur and turns to the camera and be like

Behold this beautiful yet terrifying Cosmos and the plucky bands of happy bountiful plants and critters that play together there.

I think that's what we all really love about him. If you can learn anything from David, learn to see the world that way. It's what he would have wanted.

He's not dead or anything.

Good God! No! He's fucking rich and happy living his best life ever.

He's just never going to read this and go "This!"

It's just you me and the 10 other people in this Tumbler backwater echo chamber Tumbler stashed me into who have even glanced at "Behold this terrifying dessert and the happy bountiful plants and critters that play together there." Let alone read anything more.

Well, my fellow weirdos, we have no gods or kings, and saviors are looking thin, but we got a few prophets. David is one of them.

Watch David's Nova episodes. They're his masterpieces. Marrying his love and unchecked wonder with FUCKING NOVA! It's like David met Goliath and they raised a child together after deciding not to fight after all.

Anyway I'm high and I'm starting to ramble.

See the world more like David doesn't mean "believe in everything he says and does"

I'm sure he's got some questionable views and has abused his place a bit with the ladies or whatever. But have you seen his peers? He's about 95% perfect other than all his cultural baggage that he's been so desperately trying to overcome all these years and was so excited to help his other Whites finally get with the program too! Look how much he's grown and helped us all to grow up even more!

He's more of a saint than a prophet then. Well, watch the Nova Works of Saint David Attenborough to learn how to see the world with more wonder and, I'm just wildly guessing because I know absofuckinglutely nothing of his personality life and his views on anything. And let me tell you. I want to keep it that way. If someone needs justice get them justice. If something heinous in his past comes up I want to know all about it. But I think he's just a decent White British guy with a bit too much money power and privilege even for his saintly good. He seems to have handled it about as well as Saint Fred Rogers. I don't want to learn nothing more about Fred's problematic shit. I'm sure it's nothing any of us wouldn't had done in his shoes. Given all he was. And sometimes a guy just fuckers it all up on a whole fucking lot. So fucking what. We basically know what he's like.

I have to admit to somebody and my therapist will laugh at me to much. But if Mister Rogers ever turned out to be a kiddie diddler or some shit I might kill myself. At the very least I'll have a lengthy existential crisis. I might have a major breakdown.

I gotta let that man be a Saint, but Jesus just shined out of that man so brightly and he loved me so much when I was at a very vulnerable age. His love was like another family member watching over me for an hour every single morning.

Every single morning Mister Rogers loved me and talked to me and played games with me and took me on adventures with him and introduced me to his friends and co-workers and all the cool people we meet along the way. And he helps me see the world around me a bit more for a moment and I always appreciated that. Those were often my favorite parts. Whenever we watched Mister Rogers in church daycare or something, because we'd all just sit down and watch for a whole hour it felt anyway. The only time kids minds world wander was during the educational segments. Those were the commercials and the kids could get up to stretch a bit or just go play and work off some energy while the handlers were paying attention.

I loved the educational segments. I kinda talk like them sometimes at the zoo with the kids. It's creepy.

Which is probably why I gravitate towards a decent guy like David. But this is all just a sideshow.

The main point is Behold this beautiful yet terrifying Cosmos and the plucky bands of happy bountiful plants and critters that play together there!